Listen up people! This is absolutely THE BEST video of getting your ex back or yourself back. I would like to add a few things to add. The first few days or weeks after the breakup your anxiety will be sky high. DO NOT sit in your home or apartment alone. Get out of there. You need to be with people, any kind of people. Go see relatives you have't visited, catch up with buddies.etc 2) Stay the F*** off of social media. Don't cyberstalk your ex's FB or whatever. If you can't help yourself send an Email telling your ex that you are planning to block them, FOR THE MOMENT. Because you need time and space to heal and make sure she knows that it is not out of bitterness or anger but for your own mental health to do this. You need a wall of NO Contact(don't use that phrase) between you and her to heal Unless she is a total bitch she's probably going to understand, women understand this stuff.At this point she doesn't want to hear from you anyway. 3) You weren't going to grow and do things to improve yourself unless your ex dumped your sorry ass. I know that's hard to hear but it's the truth and as men we should always face reality not run from it. She gave you second chances that you didn't even see. Further she's not your mother, she wants a boyfriend/husband not a clingy mess, and it's not her job to sit around and wait for you to get your crud together, especially if she's in the fertile stage of her life,. SO she will say adios and goes to find someone who does have their crud together and with all the dating apps out there she will have plenty of offers. Sorry to say that but's it's truth. It's ok 4) Next you must go contact, under any circumstance do not contact your ex. For the first few weeks every fiber in you body will want to "fix it" and contact her. When you are intimate(have sex) with another person your body actually exchanges bonding chemicals between each other. No contact helps you get weaned off those chemicals. Plus no contact will give you discipline, strength, and confidence that you can do this. These are very attractive. You will actually feel the anxiety fading and confidence coming in. 5) Hit the fitness center or gym. Regular exercise will help with your anxiety and boost your self-esteem. Things you need in spades. Even if walking on the treadmill is all you can do, right now do it! 6) Listen to Rory about this loving yourself, finding yourself. As men we are very hard on ourselves. Stop it! Stop treating yourself like shit. Give yourself INTERNAL validation do NOT get validation from having a woman by your side. You are worthy of love, you do have a lot to offer another women. Find your purpose in life, now that is a very difficult thing to do but try to do it. That need to have external validation is where a good chuck of your insecurities come from. See a therapist or Relationship coach to help you with all this. I know it's expensive but it will pay off down the road. You need to do all of this in order for you to be ready to get your ex back when she's healed or if you've improved a new woman will come into your life because people can see and feel the change. I know I didn't believe this either but it's true. 7) if you do all of this and be prepared to work your ass off, you know what? You're probably going to emerge from no contact 4-5 months down the road as better off than you ex. Why? Because most dumpers think they are fine, they don't want to face reality (LIKE YOU HAVE) that they too played a role in the breakup and they have zero motivation to change and they will probably make the same mistake in a rebound or other relationship. While YOU have worked your butt off to dive and deep into yourself and make the necessary changes in Life. List to Rory, trust him trust the process of NO Contact
i keep having days where i'm like yea i'm all moved on and i don't care about her and a day like today i really miss her and i know i can't message her. been almost 3 weeks no contact and thanks for all of you're videos
I am on the same boat! Also 3 weeks! Although we broke up been a few months already but we still have some contact every week or few weeks...I feel good about myself during days of strength! During downtime I remind myself how he mistreated me and I won’t be so stupid to want him back! The anger helps me get back to the “I don’t want him back unless he works hard to prove his worth to me again.” Wish you well!
LOrena Lorena well my girlfriend cheated on me with my friend 😂😅 it’s not that I miss her I just feel lonely looking back I can see she isn’t a very good person with how she treats people
Mr.Abrupt I was responding to Fuse more or less ;) But yea sorry what happened with you and great you understand why you want. It is sad how people have such different values! As the video says if lonely, find some people join some interest common group community ;) same for me I so need that. A bit hard to find what to join though I feel...:p heh maybe I see you around TH-cam videos!
I had 2 weeks and she texted back saying that she missed me and she didnt want to leave me but i fucked it up again.. i was the same person with no improvement
There was a certain person the ex was attracted to and fell in love with---to descend to a needy, begging person is a tragedy. Identifying what pathway led to the break-up is the important goal not becoming a beggar seeking sympathy. Good points about dignity and self-respect.
Hey, bro honestly your such a good guy, very helpful information. Thank you so much. I know for a fact you've saves other peoples lives just so you know we appreciate everything you do for us. I had a recent break up an I felt like just ending everything but you kept telling us to improve ourselves so that's what I've started doing. Thank you again.
Crisis is an opportunity to grow and so are breakups. It's a time to take inventory of your current life and really take a look at where you want to be and believe you can do better as an individual. Nice work Rory. You've a got a great voice and approach for this format.
You have no idea how much I appreciate you, Rory! You're simply amazing. Great video like always. I was listening to this one and I have already took all the steps which you have just described. I remembered how interesting I was her at the beginning and then I became very needy. I understand now that it was due to my anxious attachment style. I made her the centre of my universe. I was acting like I would never be able to survive without her. I was living her life and I think this is when I lost myself and became less and less interesting to her. I will not lie, I begged and pleaded, even cried several times on our meeting but then I walked away. Started learning new things, started reading psychology books, etc. After three month, I am back to myself. I am more than okay with break up and with the fact that we might never get back together. Yes I will not lie again that I still love her and it would be dream come true if we get back together, but being yourself should be our key. After all, after when you might get back with your ex, you might realise that process of dreaming in the most cases is better, than dream coming true. Even in such scenarios, grass still seems greener. Thank you again. With love!
Love your honesty. You are truly genuine and a breath of fresh air compared to others that only do it for a sale. Keep on doing what you love, and love what you're doing, as everyone's hopefully listening to your wish wisdom.
Rory, I have listened to A LOT of your videos but this one is my favorite. It not only motivates me but fuels the fire in me to be the warrior I was created to be. I listen to it daily!!! It’s crazy that I have done all of your suggestions way before I came across your video. I did all the mistakes of begging and pleading but I’ve come to a point in my life that I validate ME and have filled my own need...acceptance! I’m worthy of love but longer want or desire his. Thank you for doing what you do. Keep at it. You have a gift😊
3 months post breakup and there are days when I feel great but today, I’m feeling like it’s day one. Thinking back, I hated who I was when I was with him. I am not that person. I became needy because my needs weren’t being met. I was constantly questioning my sanity. My needs are valid. My emotions are real.
Thank you so much for your logical advice. I myself, was recently dumped. He was my best friend. I’ve been no contact since. It’s the worst kind of pain but these videos remind me that I am strong and will come out a better person for it. Also helps to know you are not alone.
Always good information and useful. Your information supports self empowerment and that is so needed when you're going through a rough breakup. Great job Rory, please never stop this gig.
The best relationship break up advice on the net. I wish I knew this advice before we split. But I`ve made all the mistakes from day one, drove her away it seems. She knows she has the power and is using it. I reacted to seeing her out dressed to kill, so social media is now full of her out dressed to kill. She is my ex for a reason but I miss what we had when it was good. In time I think she will too. But it will be too late. Thanks for the Meet Up advice. I joined and lots of social activities. Just what I need. :)
Best way to get your self back.... is to selfless and give to people who havent got ANYTHING... Im talking charity work.. . After a 17 year relationship break up and i had just recovered from cancer i found a tiny charity in Tanzania.... booked tickets the next day and flew out to help build a school ..... i never looked back that was 6 years ago
My ex left me back in March 2018. We’ve been in contact since then until last month when he got my family involved. He told my family that I blew up his phone & emails. Which is TRUE. Then one day October 15th, 2018. I completely stopped blowing him up. I just stopped. Stopped all social media. Been with my 2 girl friends & some family. Feels good to work on myself. Feels good to not cry anymore. I feel good. Life is good without some people in your life. So I understand now.
I’ve been listening and watching your video last couple days and, I thank you for the videos that you do for those of us who feel extremely bad after the break up. This is the medicine for us.
Hello Sir, thank you. Thank you for being upfront and not giving bs advice but more on a common sense level. I’m going through a hot and cold separation. I am actually unsure what stage we are at, my wife initiated separation and moved out 2 months ago. We have kids together so we have to have contact. She’s got and cold with me. Some days I feel like progressed 5 steps forward but life teaches you lessons and sticks and stones don’t break your bones, words do and I feel I have backed up 20.... I feel I am chipping away at the wall she put up on me. Time does not necessarily make one miss you, time allows you to arm yourself for the war which is to win your partner back. I’m not manipulating her or forcing her. Love cannot be forced, they have to believe you are the better choice then being by themselves...time allows wounds to heal therefore I am healing and I am starting to feel that I can win her back. By being the better version of myself, better then the version she fell in love with in the beginning. Thank you for your video support...
I have never seen a relationship in this way. Only now, at 32, am I starting to see this. I miss my ex loads, but recently realised that I can attract other women (yep, plural! Again, for the first time in my life). I've made mistakes and I am still in love with my ex, but she's sending me mixed signals after 3 months and I don't know what they mean. I'd have her back in a heartbeat if I could. Because I _want_ her, not _need_ her. I used to think the latter. Now, I miss her quirks, her gorgeous face, her body, her scent, etc etc. I have to hope there's someone else out there.
Thank you so much for this video 😭 my heart is so broken and I definitely need to get myself back before I can get my ex back. I want him back so much but I must let go...
I Realy Got to thank you. All your videos have made realize how wrong I was. Now I know what to do to feel good myself without needing validation from others.
Thank you Rory. I love you for helping me so much. My heart hurts so deeply and your voice and messages are my life raft in this choppy ocean. Thank you so much. God gifted you to help others. Also, I truly appreciate how generous you are bc it's not all about money to you. You REALLY want to help. God bless you.
Thank you! Wonderful video, I have to get myself..I am depressed a little, and this video has helped me a lot! I am the product. And I am very attractiv, charmeful, and have to be happy with myself! Yes! 😊💪👍
ive exhausted my energy trying to get my ex back, but i realized i lost my self worth. i know i deserve a lot better, a man who will treat the way i want to. I have a son with my ex so i will forever remember him. i just so sad that what we had is not real because he's a narc and a cheater. moving on is really not easy but sooner i will get there.
Hello amazing fella! 😊 Can you tell us more about "Absences makes the heart grow fonder" In my case it is for reassurance mainly to be honest... Thank you Rory. Much love from England Liza x
I didn't realise I'd lost myself in my ex , but I clearly had. She was everything I'd ever wanted in a partner , but turned out to be everything I hated in a partner. Need to find the old me
So I had my first moment of strength after 3 weeks of no contact and I was able to delete all of our pictures out of my phone I'm still struggling with checking on her social media everyday.. it was her birthday last weekend it was so hard not to reach out and tell her happy birthday just ready for the Pain to End...
A part of me still wants my ex back but I've gotten to the point where I'm not 100% sure if I would want her back to an extent I'm stuck I want her back because essentially we had a family together it was me her and her seven-year-old son she filled the void that was somebody that I thought of as a potential wife we were engaged and we were together for a year butt at the same time I don't know if I really want her back because she left over something very Petty and something that could have been easily fixed if we talked everything out so I'm confused but at this point in time I do know that I need to get myself back I need to get back the Suave Debonair man that she fell in love with but to an extent he needs to change and do things that she would need that anyone would need in a relationship Rory I thank you very much for your videos they are very inspirational and very helpful keep up the good work and I do have a question regarding your next live stream I live in the central time zone what time would it be when your live stream starts for me
My ex and I been together since January and we both are males . And right now we kept breaking up and getting back together . And at this moment my ex is seeing someone and also told me to move on and that there is no chance of us getting back together !!! I’m so sad but I’ll do the work !!!
junesdairyVevo when the ex says ‘to move one and no chance to get back together ‘ it was meant at that moment. The ex will eventually see the positive memories towards you. As of right now, focus on yourself. Become a better person and you will feel 1% better every day. Yes I know it’s painful but you have to accept it and work on yourself.
Thanks so much ! His in a rebound relationship hopefully I can approve and show him I’ve changed not only for him but me . He told me his scared , confused , and tired of the arguments, and fights and also me being needy and clingy so I guess I’ll have to do the work .
junesdairyVevo yes, just don’t tell your ex that you’ve changed. Let them see it because silence is the key to the ex to actually see it more than hearing it (from you or another person) Yeah, I begged and pleaded to my ex after the break up and made me soo anxious and needy. I’m still in the process of working on myself and it’s does feel great as each day goes by.
I’m really starting to see that none of these coaches want you to be with an ex. They’re putting it in the titles but the goal is really for you to be able to move on. Which I understand but some people genuinely want their ex back. Sometimes I wish I could just start a channel seems like a booming business 😑
My ex and I have the same circle of friends. Since we broke up I feel like I cannot connect with them Bc she is always with them. And I have to stay in no contact. My ex keeps reaching out in the group message to do fun things as a group and I am wondering if I should show up. I.e. “Friendsgiving” I feel like I lost not only my ex but my friends too. Do you think that I should hang out with them even if she is there?
It's not fair that you don't get to experience your friendships and she does...I know it's a tough subject, but your friends probably know about the breakup, so...why not suggest hanging out you all and don't invite her? You're not alienating her, you're just giving yourself the space you need, while also respecting your needs of connection with them.I'm sure they will understand...and they get to be with her some other time. Friends also have to be considerate enough during these times, it's normal that for a while it won't be possible to hang out with you both in the same setting...
Hello Rory. What about when no contact is broken by the ex with the “hi” message. Seems unproductive to respond to. The ex sending a feeler message to see what your up to. Not really making an effort to reconcile. Seems best to ignore?...
So my ex reached out after 7 months in a weird way she was high when she reached out lmao so she and her cousin called me while I was at work and wanted to have dinner with me and I didn’t answer cuz I was busy (my ex has been with her new bf for 7 months as well) so they left voicemails telling me to come but I couldn’t cuz I had to visit my friend at the hospital my ex texted me saying it was her cousin that used my ex’s phone to call me which I thought was weird but in the voicemail it was my ex asking me to come hang but I don’t get it tho it’s like why when I’m doing my own thing and getting back to working on myself she comes outta nowhere I did reply to her text and told her to buzz me when she’s in the area did I do the right thing
Hi rori can u pls make a video about how to move on from a break up during this during quarantine since there are only limited factors to get ourselves distracted during these times?? Can u pls make a video about it. Thanks!
Help!!! Idk what else to do my ex broke up with me it’s Been almost 2 months now I did no contact it was so hard. He didint try to talk to me or anything except for once when something happened with my son and he messaged me saying he was glad he was ok. So the day he broke up with me I had asked him to drop off my hair straightener in my mailbox , he ignored my message and now 2 months he messages me saying u want it back , he was supposed to bring it last night after work but he didint he said tommorow night ... couple of days ago he posted something on FB which I found out I’m the only one who could see it. Silly but it was a chicken emoji it’s an inside joke between us. Why is he posting stuff like that and even on Snapchat posting a picture of something I had given him and such things I’m so confusedddddd . I was thinking if he doesent drop the hair straighter off tonight that I would message him and tell him to just throw it out. Idk what to do any advice would help. I know I sound nutty.
Rory 7 months since break up. didnt wish ex a happy birthday but reaches out when drunk. last time she gave out as I never wished her a happy birthday. she wont meet up and telling me to move on meet someone else. She has since blocked me on everything since i changed my profile picture. I feel she is being coached by family + friends. Ive upset her whilst she has been with them at couples events when I wasnt invited. Any suggestions? Im afraid to meet someone else and rather be back with my ex. many thanks for your time.
Is there still hope if I did beg and plead? I did during the break up and than one time 3 weeks later? She has never ghosted me or blocked me etc so I’m unsure. Currently 5 weeks into NC and counting
So I would really appreciate some advice on this one guys: Me and my wife are going through divorce after a 7 year marriage and I tried everything to keep her from divorcing me. We’re still going through divorce and she recently went to the Marine Corps ball with a Marine who asked her to the Ball yet she messaged me, “I know it doesn’t matter, but i don’t want to seem like I’m being blatantly disrespectful in any way so I wanted to ask you how you would feel if a I posted a picture with the Marine I went to the ball with. Even though there’s nothing going on again, I don’t want to seem like I’m being disrespectful or petty towards you or something.“ Why would she texted me this? She’s said so many disrespectful things in the past so why would she care now? Is there an under lying message that I should take from this? I love my wife still and would love to reconcile but she said she’s was done many times. I was her first love, first husband, first everything. Is she trying to get validation from me because she still had feelings or am I just being stupid and making too much out of this? I’d really appreciate any helpful advice.
Rory I hate to admit it but what if I feel like instead of having 10$ I'm left with 5$? I feel diminished and less than now. I'm in therapy but it's hard to conquer this.
I mean that's kind of normal right after a breakup isn't it? If you get cut, you bleed. That is the correct response. If something sad happens, you're sad! Just give it some time and focus on you even if you don't want to!
the person i loved sees me as a good friend shes amazing young single mom, shes vary busy she did kinda change me and i didnt want pornography to mess up for me i never fault that for no one else
Did no contact,ex meets me,calls every chance she gets even hooks up now but she reminds me that were not together and sometimes she says i havnt done anything to make us official again. Rekindling over 3months,she dont want me on her social media,she never brought up getting back together,i feel as though there is another guy in the picture an alot of guy friends now, i never brought up getting back together but yesterday i asked an she said no. She is a totally different person now,doesnt care about things she did before,she even just has my number on her phone bcuz i asked her to save it,she didnt want it on her phone an has it saved as just j,she acts distant when were in public an is very unappreciative...any advice is greatly appreciated thanks
Dump her! See what happens then. Go nc and if she wants you back you communicate to her that you're looking for a meaningful relationship and you haven't got time for this scenario. Her attachment isn't strong enough, by the sound of it and now you're backup. You can do better than that. Focus on your purpose and raise your value. I hope this helps.
So nc again? The thing is she keeps calling Over and over even when i communicated this to her already, she can have guys friends an stuff and flips once another girl shows me attention. She refers to me as her boyfriend to her family and close friends but why say u dont want a relationship to me? She talks about future plans with me,does everything with me but hides me from her social life an is way more active on it, she gets angry quickly,when i ask her about it she always leaves but calls back in a couple mins. Is she stringing me along? She got drunk 1 night and said she loves me but just doesnt want a relationship right now, her girlfriends told me that she has guy friends but nothing more than friends. She even spends the night on the phone with me an stuff. Everything like were together but were not,she is using it as leverage to talk to other guys,saying were not together,she doesnt even seem excited around me this time we were together 8yrs, she gets annoyed at me quickly,never has nothing to say but calls even moves don't care about anneverciers and that was something she was crazy about. Went i pull away from her she show more interest but i feel like am getting noway with her. What u think? Thanks for the advice
@@jeremymanick5684 it sounds like a lot of mixed messages and confusion to me. You need to cut back on the amount of time you spend on the phone and don't be too available for her beckoning call. You need a crash course in Corey Wayne and listen to him and apply his advice to your life. This relationship sounds unbalanced with you giving too much are invested more than she is. Rory says in this vid about your value. You're gonna have to get tough with her and stand your ground with what you want. Also don't succumb to her manipulation tactics.
@@Danash2013 thanks alot man...it just so confusing to me. I just told her today that if she doesnt want a meaningful relationship plz dont contact me. Guess what she did? She called a couple mins after an wanted to talk about us. I told her that am not accepting nothing less than what i deserve an ur not giving me that,she said how i treated her badly and now she just dont care,she is also taking advice from her friends(bunch of hoes). She started asking if i gonna get some1 else,how i only care about myself, how she was getting closer to me but she just don't want a lable and after all that i said i stand by what i said an i told her am going. Not sure what now,but it seems she just says anything just for me to continue talking with her
@@jeremymanick5684 it seems to me that the balance of power is in her favour. The problem you have is that for you to reset the scales you're going to have to end the relationship and to get yourself emotionally neutral. I really think you have to build her attraction to the point she's ready to work on restarting the forming of a new relationship with you (starting from scratch). It's really difficult when you're invested in her. If the arrangement doesn't make you happy then it's over, as much as it hurts to do that. You say to her that you need space and that she should respect that. Work out, hang out with friends that aren't associated with her and focus on yourself. Remove yourself from her life. You have to think of the long-term and atm this isn't the basis of a healthy meaningful relationship. You can get into the headspace and get your mojo back. I'd focus on just doing that first as the NC will be difficult enough to endure. If you breakup with her stay nc even when it hurts. It's no problem, I'm glad it helps. Let me know how you're getting on.
@@TheLoveChat just because you crave for that special connection with someone else doesn't mean one doesn't love theirself. Ive been single for 3 years now.
@@onelife5302 The goal here is to achieve our best selves as to be able to go forward and have healthy relationships, not to replace relationships with others ONLY with the one we have with ourselves. Love yourself first, work on yourself first, and when you are ready go forward knowing that you are always reaching for better. People find that attractive and magnetic, they want to be around others who lift them up. Let attraction happen naturally rather than trying to force it by actively seeking a partner. some of the best, longest, and healthiest relationships I know happen from two people who were not even looking for one another.
Rory, have you read the book ‘Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions’ by Dan Ariely? An excellent book to aid in self improvement!
Your ex is in a rebound. They are letting the emotions of the break up affect them. They instantly want another person to have a comfort. But rebounds don’t last for long. Don’t over think and have high expectation as of now. Go NO CONTACT and delete her number. Focus on yourself.
Just to let you know that raj persaud was suspended by the British general medical council for 3 months for plagiarism and dishonesty to which he admitted . That was ten years ago and his regular British tv appearances came to an abrupt end.🇬🇧
We were 4 years together. After we broke(22th September), a couple of days after he bounded(she lives about 300 km from here, he lives here now). I did many mistakes - I cried and pleaded, after a month I was a little recover, we were much closer(we were talking 3-4 nights a week for a month), we had sex two times(he started). I thought that his bound relationship is over, but he went to her. I panicked and she wrote me privously - so I had her number. I told her everything he was furious. He wrote her that he wants to be with her, he wants her to be his wife. Now (from it - 4th day of no contact. He is probably in honeymoon stage. Is there any possibility I could get him back or is it too late? I know I messed up a lot 😞 I know that he doesn't love her and had a lot of feelings for me but now I think he is just angry.
Basia Ramona that’s tough. All I can say is work on yourself. I know we make mistakes and yes we learn from it. Don’t let your anxious get you. Don’t beat yourself. Just focus on yourself.
Listen up people! This is absolutely THE BEST video of getting your ex back or yourself back.
I would like to add a few things to add. The first few days or weeks after the breakup your anxiety will be sky high. DO NOT sit in your home or apartment alone. Get out of there. You need to be with people, any kind of people. Go see relatives you have't visited, catch up with buddies.etc 2) Stay the F*** off of social media. Don't cyberstalk your ex's FB or whatever. If you can't help yourself send an Email telling your ex that you are planning to block them, FOR THE MOMENT. Because you need time and space to heal and make sure she knows that it is not out of bitterness or anger but for your own mental health to do this. You need a wall of NO Contact(don't use that phrase) between you and her to heal Unless she is a total bitch she's probably going to understand, women understand this stuff.At this point she doesn't want to hear from you anyway.
3) You weren't going to grow and do things to improve yourself unless your ex dumped your sorry ass. I know that's hard to hear but it's the truth and as men we should always face reality not run from it. She gave you second chances that you didn't even see. Further she's not your mother, she wants a boyfriend/husband not a clingy mess, and it's not her job to sit around and wait for you to get your crud together, especially if she's in the fertile stage of her life,. SO she will say adios and goes to find someone who does have their crud together and with all the dating apps out there she will have plenty of offers. Sorry to say that but's it's truth. It's ok
4) Next you must go contact, under any circumstance do not contact your ex. For the first few weeks every fiber in you body will want to "fix it" and contact her. When you are intimate(have sex) with another person your body actually exchanges bonding chemicals between each other. No contact helps you get weaned off those chemicals. Plus no contact will give you discipline, strength, and confidence that you can do this. These are very attractive. You will actually feel the anxiety fading and confidence coming in.
5) Hit the fitness center or gym. Regular exercise will help with your anxiety and boost your self-esteem. Things you need in spades. Even if walking on the treadmill is all you can do, right now do it!
6) Listen to Rory about this loving yourself, finding yourself. As men we are very hard on ourselves. Stop it! Stop treating yourself like shit. Give yourself INTERNAL validation do NOT get validation from having a woman by your side. You are worthy of love, you do have a lot to offer another women. Find your purpose in life, now that is a very difficult thing to do but try to do it. That need to have external validation is where a good chuck of your insecurities come from. See a therapist or Relationship coach to help you with all this. I know it's expensive but it will pay off down the road. You need to do all of this in order for you to be ready to get your ex back when she's healed or if you've improved a new woman will come into your life because people can see and feel the change. I know I didn't believe this either but it's true.
7) if you do all of this and be prepared to work your ass off, you know what? You're probably going to emerge from no contact 4-5 months down the road as better off than you ex. Why? Because most dumpers think they are fine, they don't want to face reality (LIKE YOU HAVE) that they too played a role in the breakup and they have zero motivation to change and they will probably make the same mistake in a rebound or other relationship. While YOU have worked your butt off to dive and deep into yourself and make the necessary changes in Life.
List to Rory, trust him trust the process of NO Contact
Couple years late, but thanks man. Been doing all this. Needed to read it
It's so true because at the end of the day you is the prize..... amazing video
My 2 fav coaches. 💪💪💪
i keep having days where i'm like yea i'm all moved on and i don't care about her and a day like today i really miss her and i know i can't message her. been almost 3 weeks no contact and thanks for all of you're videos
Fuse it gets hard sometimes lol I feel the same way
I am on the same boat! Also 3 weeks! Although we broke up been a few months already but we still have some contact every week or few weeks...I feel good about myself during days of strength! During downtime I remind myself how he mistreated me and I won’t be so stupid to want him back! The anger helps me get back to the “I don’t want him back unless he works hard to prove his worth to me again.” Wish you well!
LOrena Lorena well my girlfriend cheated on me with my friend 😂😅 it’s not that I miss her I just feel lonely looking back I can see she isn’t a very good person with how she treats people
Mr.Abrupt I was responding to Fuse more or less ;)
But yea sorry what happened with you and great you understand why you want. It is sad how people have such different values! As the video says if lonely, find some people join some interest common group community ;) same for me I so need that. A bit hard to find what to join though I feel...:p heh maybe I see you around TH-cam videos!
I had 2 weeks and she texted back saying that she missed me and she didnt want to leave me but i fucked it up again.. i was the same person with no improvement
There was a certain person the ex was attracted to and fell in love with---to descend to a needy,
begging person is a tragedy. Identifying what pathway led to the break-up is the important
goal not becoming a beggar seeking sympathy. Good points about dignity and self-respect.
Sometimes what we think we want for ourselves isn't what's always good for us. Really great video.
Hey, bro honestly your such a good guy, very helpful information. Thank you so much. I know for a fact you've saves other peoples lives just so you know we appreciate everything you do for us. I had a recent break up an I felt like just ending everything but you kept telling us to improve ourselves so that's what I've started doing. Thank you again.
Hope you are doing well 🙂🌺
Out of all the TH-cam videos I've listen to, you the only person who tells the hard truth...Much appreciation
Crisis is an opportunity to grow and so are breakups. It's a time to take inventory of your current life and really take a look at where you want to be and believe you can do better as an individual. Nice work Rory. You've a got a great voice and approach for this format.
You have no idea how much I appreciate you, Rory! You're simply amazing. Great video like always. I was listening to this one and I have already took all the steps which you have just described. I remembered how interesting I was her at the beginning and then I became very needy. I understand now that it was due to my anxious attachment style. I made her the centre of my universe. I was acting like I would never be able to survive without her. I was living her life and I think this is when I lost myself and became less and less interesting to her. I will not lie, I begged and pleaded, even cried several times on our meeting but then I walked away. Started learning new things, started reading psychology books, etc. After three month, I am back to myself. I am more than okay with break up and with the fact that we might never get back together. Yes I will not lie again that I still love her and it would be dream come true if we get back together, but being yourself should be our key. After all, after when you might get back with your ex, you might realise that process of dreaming in the most cases is better, than dream coming true. Even in such scenarios, grass still seems greener. Thank you again.
With love!
Rory everything you said is on point. After 2 years of working on myself inside and out, I feel attractive again in and out. 😁
You deserve it!
I love this because I lost my sense of self by pursuing my ex. I guess I was in that "Sunken Place". Now I'm becoming who I truly am again.
Love your honesty. You are truly genuine and a breath of fresh air compared to others that only do it for a sale. Keep on doing what you love, and love what you're doing, as everyone's hopefully listening to your wish wisdom.
Rory, I have listened to A LOT of your videos but this one is my favorite. It not only motivates me but fuels the fire in me to be the warrior I was created to be. I listen to it daily!!! It’s crazy that I have done all of your suggestions way before I came across your video. I did all the mistakes of begging and pleading but I’ve come to a point in my life that I validate ME and have filled my own need...acceptance! I’m worthy of love but longer want or desire his. Thank you for doing what you do. Keep at it. You have a gift😊
3 months post breakup and there are days when I feel great but today, I’m feeling like it’s day one. Thinking back, I hated who I was when I was with him. I am not that person. I became needy because my needs weren’t being met. I was constantly questioning my sanity. My needs are valid. My emotions are real.
I know the feeling. I never thought I would heal.
Thank you so much for your logical advice. I myself, was recently dumped. He was my best friend. I’ve been no contact since. It’s the worst kind of pain but these videos remind me that I am strong and will come out a better person for it. Also helps to know you are not alone.
Always good information and useful. Your information supports self empowerment and that is so needed when you're going through a rough breakup. Great job Rory, please never stop this gig.
The best relationship break up advice on the net. I wish I knew this advice before we split. But I`ve made all the mistakes from day one, drove her away it seems. She knows she has the power and is using it. I reacted to seeing her out dressed to kill, so social media is now full of her out dressed to kill. She is my ex for a reason but I miss what we had when it was good. In time I think she will too. But it will be too late. Thanks for the Meet Up advice. I joined and lots of social activities. Just what I need. :)
The words you said are just what I needed to hear Best advice ever
The $10 logic makes a lot of sense. Thank you, bro!
Best way to get your self back.... is to selfless and give to people who havent got ANYTHING...
Im talking charity work.. .
After a 17 year relationship break up and i had just recovered from cancer i found a tiny charity in Tanzania.... booked tickets the next day and flew out to help build a school ..... i never looked back that was 6 years ago
My ex left me back in March 2018. We’ve been in contact since then until last month when he got my family involved. He told my family that I blew up his phone & emails. Which is TRUE. Then one day October 15th, 2018. I completely stopped blowing him up.
I just stopped.
Stopped all social media.
Been with my 2 girl friends & some family.
Feels good to work on myself. Feels good to not cry anymore.
I feel good. Life is good without some people in your life. So I understand now.
I’ve been listening and watching your video last couple days and, I thank you for the videos that you do for those of us who feel extremely bad after the break up. This is the medicine for us.
Hello Sir, thank you. Thank you for being upfront and not giving bs advice but more on a common sense level. I’m going through a hot and cold separation. I am actually unsure what stage we are at, my wife initiated separation and moved out 2 months ago. We have kids together so we have to have contact. She’s got and cold with me. Some days I feel like progressed 5 steps forward but life teaches you lessons and sticks and stones don’t break your bones, words do and I feel I have backed up 20....
I feel I am chipping away at the wall she put up on me. Time does not necessarily make one miss you, time allows you to arm yourself for the war which is to win your partner back. I’m not manipulating her or forcing her. Love cannot be forced, they have to believe you are the better choice then being by themselves...time allows wounds to heal therefore I am healing and I am starting to feel that I can win her back. By being the better version of myself, better then the version she fell in love with in the beginning.
Thank you for your video support...
You are the best !! Don’t stop making this valuable content !
I have never seen a relationship in this way. Only now, at 32, am I starting to see this. I miss my ex loads, but recently realised that I can attract other women (yep, plural! Again, for the first time in my life). I've made mistakes and I am still in love with my ex, but she's sending me mixed signals after 3 months and I don't know what they mean. I'd have her back in a heartbeat if I could. Because I _want_ her, not _need_ her. I used to think the latter. Now, I miss her quirks, her gorgeous face, her body, her scent, etc etc. I have to hope there's someone else out there.
I don’t have words to show my gratitude. Great advice. May God bless you.
Thank you so much for this video 😭 my heart is so broken and I definitely need to get myself back before I can get my ex back.
I want him back so much but I must let go...
I Realy Got to thank you. All your videos have made realize how wrong I was. Now I know what to do to feel good myself without needing validation from others.
Good on you for self-improving!!
Amazing video!!! I love the $10 analogy.
Thank you Rory. I love you for helping me so much. My heart hurts so deeply and your voice and messages are my life raft in this choppy ocean. Thank you so much. God gifted you to help others. Also, I truly appreciate how generous you are bc it's not all about money to you. You REALLY want to help. God bless you.
Thanks, Rory. You always save the day.
Thank you! Wonderful video, I have to get myself..I am depressed a little, and this video has helped me a lot! I am the product. And I am very attractiv, charmeful, and have to be happy with myself! Yes! 😊💪👍
PLEASE please PLEASE do videos on Dissmissive Avoidant Exs!!! before during and after breakup
Thank you so much, literally exactly what I needed to hear right now
ive exhausted my energy trying to get my ex back, but i realized i lost my self worth. i know i deserve a lot better, a man who will treat the way i want to. I have a son with my ex so i will forever remember him. i just so sad that what we had is not real because he's a narc and a cheater. moving on is really not easy but sooner i will get there.
Hello amazing fella! 😊 Can you tell us more about "Absences makes the heart grow fonder" In my case it is for reassurance mainly to be honest... Thank you Rory. Much love from England Liza x
Sure!
I didn't realise I'd lost myself in my ex , but I clearly had. She was everything I'd ever wanted in a partner , but turned out to be everything I hated in a partner. Need to find the old me
Again, fantastic advice.
I’d love to have transcripts of your advice.
Your advice is on point...best coach on TH-cam...
So I had my first moment of strength after 3 weeks of no contact and I was able to delete all of our pictures out of my phone I'm still struggling with checking on her social media everyday.. it was her birthday last weekend it was so hard not to reach out and tell her happy birthday just ready for the Pain to End...
Celebrate each moment of strength! Struggle is the path to happiness!
A part of me still wants my ex back but I've gotten to the point where I'm not 100% sure if I would want her back to an extent I'm stuck I want her back because essentially we had a family together it was me her and her seven-year-old son she filled the void that was somebody that I thought of as a potential wife we were engaged and we were together for a year butt at the same time I don't know if I really want her back because she left over something very Petty and something that could have been easily fixed if we talked everything out so I'm confused but at this point in time I do know that I need to get myself back I need to get back the Suave Debonair man that she fell in love with but to an extent he needs to change and do things that she would need that anyone would need in a relationship Rory I thank you very much for your videos they are very inspirational and very helpful keep up the good work and I do have a question regarding your next live stream I live in the central time zone what time would it be when your live stream starts for me
Honestly this video really helped, thank you so much. Your story about the money before and after was an eye opener 🔥
This video is extremely important. Thank you!
Thank you so much for everything you do for us
Your videos have helped me tremendously. Thank you.
Thank you Rory. Thank you so much for this video 😊
My ex and I been together since January and we both are males . And right now we kept breaking up and getting back together . And at this moment my ex is seeing someone and also told me to move on and that there is no chance of us getting back together !!! I’m so sad but I’ll do the work !!!
junesdairyVevo when the ex says ‘to move one and no chance to get back together ‘ it was meant at that moment. The ex will eventually see the positive memories towards you.
As of right now, focus on yourself. Become a better person and you will feel 1% better every day. Yes I know it’s painful but you have to accept it and work on yourself.
Thanks so much ! His in a rebound relationship hopefully I can approve and show him I’ve changed not only for him but me . He told me his scared , confused , and tired of the arguments, and fights and also me being needy and clingy so I guess I’ll have to do the work .
junesdairyVevo yes, just don’t tell your ex that you’ve changed. Let them see it because silence is the key to the ex to actually see it more than hearing it (from you or another person)
Yeah, I begged and pleaded to my ex after the break up and made me soo anxious and needy. I’m still in the process of working on myself and it’s does feel great as each day goes by.
Here is my cell 412-893-6122 maybe we can help each other
I LOVE THE MONEY EXAMPLE SO MUCH
I’m really starting to see that none of these coaches want you to be with an ex. They’re putting it in the titles but the goal is really for you to be able to move on. Which I understand but some people genuinely want their ex back. Sometimes I wish I could just start a channel seems like a booming business 😑
My ex and I have the same circle of friends. Since we broke up I feel like I cannot connect with them Bc she is always with them. And I have to stay in no contact. My ex keeps reaching out in the group message to do fun things as a group and I am wondering if I should show up. I.e. “Friendsgiving” I feel like I lost not only my ex but my friends too. Do you think that I should hang out with them even if she is there?
There some YT Vids on this subject, found them very helpful.
It's not fair that you don't get to experience your friendships and she does...I know it's a tough subject, but your friends probably know about the breakup, so...why not suggest hanging out you all and don't invite her? You're not alienating her, you're just giving yourself the space you need, while also respecting your needs of connection with them.I'm sure they will understand...and they get to be with her some other time. Friends also have to be considerate enough during these times, it's normal that for a while it won't be possible to hang out with you both in the same setting...
Hello Rory. What about when no contact is broken by the ex with the “hi” message. Seems unproductive to respond to. The ex sending a feeler message to see what your up to. Not really making an effort to reconcile. Seems best to ignore?...
I think Rory's ripped my quote from a couple of weeks back 🤔
Would you like to do long distance break up for the next video?
I'm cried out badly today
Not alone
kOnA'sRiDer bad day today
@@cng1604 know what you feel
@@cng1604 i like your profile picture. Very peaceful
Bless you sweetheart! It gets so much easier, take your time and you'll see some amazing changes within yourself!
Just to add to the last example... take your money back too don’t let them keep it !!
So my ex reached out after 7 months in a weird way she was high when she reached out lmao so she and her cousin called me while I was at work and wanted to have dinner with me and I didn’t answer cuz I was busy (my ex has been with her new bf for 7 months as well) so they left voicemails telling me to come but I couldn’t cuz I had to visit my friend at the hospital my ex texted me saying it was her cousin that used my ex’s phone to call me which I thought was weird but in the voicemail it was my ex asking me to come hang but I don’t get it tho it’s like why when I’m doing my own thing and getting back to working on myself she comes outta nowhere I did reply to her text and told her to buzz me when she’s in the area did I do the right thing
Hi rori can u pls make a video about how to move on from a break up during this during quarantine since there are only limited factors to get ourselves distracted during these times?? Can u pls make a video about it. Thanks!
Help!!!
Idk what else to do my ex broke up with me it’s Been almost 2 months now I did no contact it was so hard. He didint try to talk to me or anything except for once when something happened with my son and he messaged me saying he was glad he was ok. So the day he broke up with me I had asked him to drop off my hair straightener in my mailbox , he ignored my message and now 2 months he messages me saying u want it back , he was supposed to bring it last night after work but he didint he said tommorow night ... couple of days ago he posted something on FB which I found out I’m the only one who could see it. Silly but it was a chicken emoji it’s an inside joke between us. Why is he posting stuff like that and even on Snapchat posting a picture of something I had given him and such things I’m so confusedddddd . I was thinking if he doesent drop the hair straighter off tonight that I would message him and tell him to just throw it out. Idk what to do any advice would help. I know I sound nutty.
Don't break NC for that. If you don't care about him throwing it away there is no need to say anything.
Rory 7 months since break up. didnt wish ex a happy birthday but reaches out when drunk. last time she gave out as I never wished her a happy birthday. she wont meet up and telling me to move on meet someone else. She has since blocked me on everything since i changed my profile picture. I feel she is being coached by family + friends. Ive upset her whilst she has been with them at couples events when I wasnt invited. Any suggestions? Im afraid to meet someone else and rather be back with my ex. many thanks for your time.
What to do if the one runs and eats healthy and reads in his normal life no matter if in a relationship or not?!
Is there still hope if I did beg and plead? I did during the break up and than one time 3 weeks later?
She has never ghosted me or blocked me etc so I’m unsure.
Currently 5 weeks into NC and counting
Can u do vid about why guys cheat online and have options
Woww great content!
RORY 💖
damn this was a motivational video
So I would really appreciate some advice on this one guys: Me and my wife are going through divorce after a 7 year marriage and I tried everything to keep her from divorcing me.
We’re still going through divorce and she recently went to the Marine Corps ball with a Marine who asked her to the Ball yet she messaged me,
“I know it doesn’t matter, but i don’t want to seem like I’m being blatantly disrespectful in any way so I wanted to ask you how you would feel if a I posted a picture with the Marine I went to the ball with. Even though there’s nothing going on again, I don’t want to seem like I’m being disrespectful or petty towards you or something.“
Why would she texted me this? She’s said so many disrespectful things in the past so why would she care now? Is there an under lying message that I should take from this?
I love my wife still and would love to reconcile but she said she’s was done many times.
I was her first love, first husband, first everything. Is she trying to get validation from me because she still had feelings or am I just being stupid and making too much out of this?
I’d really appreciate any helpful advice.
Rory I hate to admit it but what if I feel like instead of having 10$ I'm left with 5$? I feel diminished and less than now. I'm in therapy but it's hard to conquer this.
I mean that's kind of normal right after a breakup isn't it?
If you get cut, you bleed. That is the correct response. If something sad happens, you're sad! Just give it some time and focus on you even if you don't want to!
Thank you!!!😍😘😘😘
yes I will want him back by that time
the person i loved sees me as a good friend
shes amazing young single mom, shes vary busy
she did kinda change me and i didnt want pornography to mess up for me
i never fault that for no one else
Amazing advice. Self care we all need it.
Does the no contact rule work if you were in a short term relationship and dated a guy only for 5 months?
Can you talk about when someone says they realized there’s no spark anymore?
You bet! Added to the list.
I have watched every video. What isn’t your email Rory?
Did no contact,ex meets me,calls every chance she gets even hooks up now but she reminds me that were not together and sometimes she says i havnt done anything to make us official again. Rekindling over 3months,she dont want me on her social media,she never brought up getting back together,i feel as though there is another guy in the picture an alot of guy friends now, i never brought up getting back together but yesterday i asked an she said no. She is a totally different person now,doesnt care about things she did before,she even just has my number on her phone bcuz i asked her to save it,she didnt want it on her phone an has it saved as just j,she acts distant when were in public an is very unappreciative...any advice is greatly appreciated thanks
Dump her! See what happens then. Go nc and if she wants you back you communicate to her that you're looking for a meaningful relationship and you haven't got time for this scenario. Her attachment isn't strong enough, by the sound of it and now you're backup. You can do better than that. Focus on your purpose and raise your value. I hope this helps.
So nc again? The thing is she keeps calling Over and over even when i communicated this to her already, she can have guys friends an stuff and flips once another girl shows me attention. She refers to me as her boyfriend to her family and close friends but why say u dont want a relationship to me? She talks about future plans with me,does everything with me but hides me from her social life an is way more active on it, she gets angry quickly,when i ask her about it she always leaves but calls back in a couple mins. Is she stringing me along? She got drunk 1 night and said she loves me but just doesnt want a relationship right now, her girlfriends told me that she has guy friends but nothing more than friends. She even spends the night on the phone with me an stuff. Everything like were together but were not,she is using it as leverage to talk to other guys,saying were not together,she doesnt even seem excited around me this time we were together 8yrs, she gets annoyed at me quickly,never has nothing to say but calls even moves don't care about anneverciers and that was something she was crazy about. Went i pull away from her she show more interest but i feel like am getting noway with her. What u think? Thanks for the advice
@@jeremymanick5684 it sounds like a lot of mixed messages and confusion to me. You need to cut back on the amount of time you spend on the phone and don't be too available for her beckoning call. You need a crash course in Corey Wayne and listen to him and apply his advice to your life. This relationship sounds unbalanced with you giving too much are invested more than she is. Rory says in this vid about your value. You're gonna have to get tough with her and stand your ground with what you want. Also don't succumb to her manipulation tactics.
@@Danash2013 thanks alot man...it just so confusing to me. I just told her today that if she doesnt want a meaningful relationship plz dont contact me. Guess what she did? She called a couple mins after an wanted to talk about us. I told her that am not accepting nothing less than what i deserve an ur not giving me that,she said how i treated her badly and now she just dont care,she is also taking advice from her friends(bunch of hoes). She started asking if i gonna get some1 else,how i only care about myself, how she was getting closer to me but she just don't want a lable and after all that i said i stand by what i said an i told her am going. Not sure what now,but it seems she just says anything just for me to continue talking with her
@@jeremymanick5684 it seems to me that the balance of power is in her favour. The problem you have is that for you to reset the scales you're going to have to end the relationship and to get yourself emotionally neutral. I really think you have to build her attraction to the point she's ready to work on restarting the forming of a new relationship with you (starting from scratch). It's really difficult when you're invested in her. If the arrangement doesn't make you happy then it's over, as much as it hurts to do that. You say to her that you need space and that she should respect that. Work out, hang out with friends that aren't associated with her and focus on yourself. Remove yourself from her life. You have to think of the long-term and atm this isn't the basis of a healthy meaningful relationship. You can get into the headspace and get your mojo back. I'd focus on just doing that first as the NC will be difficult enough to endure. If you breakup with her stay nc even when it hurts. It's no problem, I'm glad it helps. Let me know how you're getting on.
What if we just wanted a partner in life? Someone to love and be loved? How do we replace that by ourselves?
Still focusing on another to love you.
Love yourself first
@@TheLoveChat just because you crave for that special connection with someone else doesn't mean one doesn't love theirself. Ive been single for 3 years now.
@@onelife5302 The goal here is to achieve our best selves as to be able to go forward and have healthy relationships, not to replace relationships with others ONLY with the one we have with ourselves.
Love yourself first, work on yourself first, and when you are ready go forward knowing that you are always reaching for better. People find that attractive and magnetic, they want to be around others who lift them up. Let attraction happen naturally rather than trying to force it by actively seeking a partner.
some of the best, longest, and healthiest relationships I know happen from two people who were not even looking for one another.
Rory, have you read the book ‘Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions’ by Dan Ariely? An excellent book to aid in self improvement!
I'll check it out, thank you!
Amazing
I ended with -100$ and I don't know what the fuck happened.
What does it mean when your ex breaks up wit you and gets with someone new the same week but still gives you her new phone number
It means you delete the number and all traces of her. Nc and heal.
Your ex is in a rebound. They are letting the emotions of the break up affect them. They instantly want another person to have a comfort. But rebounds don’t last for long. Don’t over think and have high expectation as of now. Go NO CONTACT and delete her number.
Focus on yourself.
@@Danash2013 thank you I haven't contacted her I just didn't Know what it meant
@@agh950 thank you
Which video is the validation one?
Video #35 "Validation"
@@TheLoveChatOh... That easy? 😂 Alright, thanks.
Do on again off again relationships
Just to let you know that raj persaud was suspended by the British general medical council for 3 months for plagiarism and dishonesty to which he admitted . That was ten years ago and his regular British tv appearances came to an abrupt end.🇬🇧
Thank you for pointing this out! I did not know this. Scratched off the list...
❤️❤️❤️
Kelmirah Villavicencio hi there, where are you from?
Lemuel Magardie hello, I’m from the Philippines! 🇵🇭
Wow- beautiful country, its on my bucket list, need to visit before 2020. I am from South Africa🇿🇦. Do you have facebook or instagram?
We were 4 years together. After we broke(22th September), a couple of days after he bounded(she lives about 300 km from here, he lives here now). I did many mistakes - I cried and pleaded, after a month I was a little recover, we were much closer(we were talking 3-4 nights a week for a month), we had sex two times(he started). I thought that his bound relationship is over, but he went to her. I panicked and she wrote me privously - so I had her number. I told her everything he was furious. He wrote her that he wants to be with her, he wants her to be his wife. Now (from it - 4th day of no contact. He is probably in honeymoon stage. Is there any possibility I could get him back or is it too late? I know I messed up a lot 😞
I know that he doesn't love her and had a lot of feelings for me but now I think he is just angry.
Basia Ramona that’s tough. All I can say is work on yourself. I know we make mistakes and yes we learn from it. Don’t let your anxious get you. Don’t beat yourself. Just focus on yourself.
I got 11$
😍😍