#1 rule If someone isn't making it a PRIORITY to spend time with you then it's not worth it. People don't really change much. It takes a very long time actually. So if your bf/gf isn't actively making it a priority to see you in the beginning save yourself the heartache and move on right then.
I needed this today. Thanks. I just ended it with someone after 3 months because I could see early on it was one of those situations that I've already learned from. Sometimes during this healing phase I wonder if I gave it enough patience and time for the issue to work itself out and I then I read comments like yours and I am reminded, yes, yes I did. I just saved myself years of that bs.
My ex was exactly like that. At first he was affectionate, but gradually he kept putting his friends above me to the point that I began feeling really bad about myself. He did come back for a moment, but when he wouldn't even bother to make time for me, to even do basic "friend" things, I quit. Yeah, I got blocked and I feel rejected, but I definitely know I saved myself from even more heartbreak. Thanks for this comment, or else I would have continued to ponder about the "what ifs."
@@rochelleleung8680 so I've been accused of this...but i get very busy in other stuff, but I would ussually see my partner at least twice a week to 4. Only on covid I got really strict about leaving the house.
I walked away last Thurs 14th Oct. I put up with this narcissist behaviour for 6yrs.i feel ashamed I put up with it. I took my power back by walking. Good for you. You can do it if I can. I'm such a softer but I did it
I walked away 2 weeks ago. Had a panic attack immediately after. I’m still hurting but I’m not going back. I deserve more than he offers. I had a fear of being abandoned by the hardest part was the way I felt disrespected. I need promises to be met and he didn’t do anything. He avoided issues I brought up and he was in control. I couldn’t put up with how old wounds were getting opened up. I was losing myself. I need to rediscover who I am all over again. This email hits so close.
Similar thing happened to me. He was so into me at the beginning then started distancing himself & getting cold. Excuses turned to silence in a week, then 3 weeks of not calling me or texting me AFTER he told me that he enjoys talking to me & he enjoys my company. He was ignoring my texts (sending him jokes or something of positive vibe once a day) & not returning my calls (called him about twice a week). So in 2 weeks, I completely stopped calling him & texting him. I haven't heard anything from him in two weeks. We didn't fight or anything. I even asked him to end things with me if he's not interested in me anymore. He said that's not the case. I deserve to be treated better than to just be ignored in 3 weeks!!! So I broke up with him via text. No blaming, no anger from me. I just had to let him know that I didn't deserve to be treated the way he disappeared on me. And...I have to move on and let him go. I actually thanked him for the lessons! 😊
Bcoz he's a narcissist thats why he giving u BS silent treatment n he's also having other victim thats why he's distance on u n also may be ur jst a rebound n he's jst keeping u around so when something happen again to him on his other gf ot supply he can still comebck to u anytime thats why he's not giving u a closer fr a break up..jst saying base on my experience..try to caughts him be smart enough if he's giving u the silent then give him wat he's doing to u dnt reach out n when the time he call u give him also the silent nt responding to all his mssge n call gve him he's game back to him but be careful bcoz if he's really a narcissist he will revenge on u n make u suffer more..peace..best wat u do is dnt go back to that person coz fr that person ur not matter n ur not important may hes not into u n not serious to be wth u..it hurts but u need to move forward n not be wth this person..a person treat u like thats is no future fr u wth him..
It's not just about relationships, it can be to do with jobs and careers too. If people challenge you, if you have self-respect and know your facts on your subject, then you come back at them stronger than before. Also if people don't appreciate the sheer effort that you have put in to help them, it's time to let go. People must learn that they cannot take real love for granted.
Walking away is the hardest thing to do. I walked away last Sunday. I was tired of being string a long. And treat it like an option. Let me remind you our divorce was final in January. I tried everything to save me marriage.
So on point and perfect timing! This was happening to me on and off for the past 4 years! I would go back and give him another chance and nothing would change. He never wanted to be exclusive but yet sent me mixed signals, like asked me to go to Cancun!! The trip never happened. I walked away for good this time 2 weeks ago! He thought I was just saying goodbye for the night. No, a hole I am saying goodbye forever! Not one text from him, not one from me! Now you can feel the pain of my silence and absence!
I had to walk away from my marriage. My husband cheated on me. He lied on his own child stating that he’s going to see him. And went to be with his side chick. She’s constantly posting Facebook status and pictures of them together. I had to walk away. I changed my number, moving soon, and blocked him from my social media sites. I’m healing.
In 2014, I was the one who got dumped and did everything one could do wrong during a break up. But, my insanity led me to learn about all this stuff you teach. I am so grateful you share your wisdom. I am going through a breakup now and let me just say, knowledge (and practice) is power. This time I ended it and walked away with myself-respect and dignity in tact. It has all been 100x smoother. Sometimes I still need a refresher course on "Breakups 101". For anyone out there who feels it it too far gone, it gets better and so will you, trust me.
We’ve been broken up but she messed around with her ex before me and then told me about it like I wanted to hear it. I told her to stay out of my life because I deserved better than I walked away.
Absolutely! I used to be disrespected in past relationships and let them walk all over me. So when I noticed that my most recent ex was disrespecting me (refused to stop seeing her ex and she started breadcrumbing me and strung me along) I confronted her about it and told her my boundaries. She obviously didn't empathize with me or honestly respect me, and said that a relationship "just isnt a priority right now". My response was well then I wish you the best, so i walked. If you dont have time for me, or want to keep an ex around, then I don't need you in my life. Bye
I love this channel and you’re an incredible relationship coach. I enjoy the way you express and communicate so authentically and clearly. I listened to this video 4 times now to really let it sink in and it has given me so much peace. I am at 1.5 months after an intense breakup and finally am able to question if maybe I’m way better off without this person that once mattered to me so much. I am finally coming to terms that my self worth is so much more valuable than what I received. Thank you for all your videos, especially this one!
I always wanted to be the kind of person who could walk away from someone who treated me badly without any fuss, drama or violence, but my Ex knew how to press my buttons till I emotionally and physically couldn't take anymore. I'd be so hurt and desperate I'd lash out. Tonight I've walked away for good. I forgive myself for being human with feelings and know I did nothing to be treated badly. The cruelty was unbelievable, and I made mistakes. No more. I'm tired of it all. I don't need anyone to complete me. Good riddance to him. Future here in I come. 🍒
Lack of communication is awful, even with friends.... Walk away from these people if they keep treating you like crap. I have lost a few friends because I was the one reaching out all the time....I can't tolerate with these types of people anymore...enough is enough...I walked away from a job because I was treated like crap, so I left without any notice, I'm not being treated like that... Never let people treat you like that....it's totally out of order...
Hi Rory, wow that email hit me hard because it was exactly what I was going through... long story short she was married and I also found out she was still involved with her “other” ex boyfriend... she used the fact that I was “jealous” and “obsessive” to break it off with me. This relationship was my fault because I fell for her sorry situation.. I gave my heart and I paid for it. My heart is filled with hate but I know I can’t hang on to this emotion. I’m a good man, successful man, and a great father. I will find another true person because I deserve a good woman. Thank you for your channel.
As someone who has been in a similar situation but not to the point of the verbal abuse, I didn't have self respect for myself to walk away or face this fear of loneliness so I let myself get strung along. While I have a lot of positive memories, I got to watch this person get engaged. They're polyamorous, but I'm not, and I was never the priority. Now I get to share my experience to how this created more fears of abandonment and has become a trigger for my anxiety. I've taken action now but I wanted to share this to anybody who feels they are walked on to walk away because it's not worth the damage it's going to cause in the long run.
Hi Rory, thank you for your videos, they always make so much sense, it’s been 6months since I lost the love of my life, but lisenting to your videos really helps and puts everything into prospective. Bcz I love her I have let her go, if she comes back I guess either way the saying is true. Thanks again
James VAL don't feel bad i lost the love of my life several months ago and it sucks and hurts on how good i loved her and now she takes me for granted your not alone.
Wow my ex did this to me. Our relationship wasn’t good I get that but I tried to make it work. She left in March and fed me all this bs about “what’s the rush it’s no one else blah blah” she even said he was going to come see me in April and never showed up but once I got angry about it she said “that’s why I did not come see you” after that she stopped replying to my messages and blocked my call. I haven’t heard from her since. I stopped reaching out because she played with my emotions thinking I had a chance but I didn’t.
People with a self sacrifice schema will put up with so much disrespect unless the dumper CUTS it off completely or you find it in yourself to walk away and learn to love yourself..keep listening to Rory guys, you’ll be fine xxx
This is my first time listening to your channel and i’m in love with your voice 😀 your tone is so soothing. And I’m walking away from the man that I love but won’t commit 😑😒
@@TheLoveChat thank you so much for your work and videos. I feel so embarrassed to tell other people what happened to me, what I’ve accepted for such a long time and now I am feeling miserable. Thank you so much, I’m crying for days and your channel helps me a lot! I wish you all the best in the world 🙏🏼❤️
Infatuation is dangerous drug as soon as you realise you put up with some much bs thanks to being blinded by infatuation you will be truly free, if they don't put in the effort you're putting in always walk away and don't look back unless they reach out and treat you with respect, even then be aware of their behaviour because it'll always creep back in when it does boom cut them off again. If this happens all the time then it's time to fully move on that's what I would advice anyone going through something similar.
@@TheLoveChat oh my god I know right! I made a mistake 2 days ago😭 cuz I was so desperate and devastated so I text this guy his from Nigerian and he took a lot of money from me and mess me up and plus I want everything to come from god I don't want anything that comes from the devil if u know what I mean
Anger, for a time, can be good. It is a normal human response and part of any grieving process - and at least for a bit, it can be protective. I used to get down on myself for feeling angry and not moving quickly into a forgiving mindspace, but I finally made peace with any anger I may feel and just allow myself to feel it because if I didn't, I would feel it later anyway. Soon enough, it will usually pass so I say feel whatever you're feeling, let it flow out of you (while alone! I'm not advocating unleashing it on anyone else - NO!) But don't beat yourself up if you cannot quickly move to forgiveness, you're human ❤
Im going through it myself Rory, i broke up with my ex 5 months ago she started dating someone 3 weeks after now they live together and everything we have a 1 year old daughter together and we were together for 2 years since then we only talk about things that involve the baby we had a few lengthy phone conversations once in which she said something bad about her new bf but i tried not get my hopes up. I miss her and i love her dearly i always will. I wished i would have showed her when it mattered instead i did the worst thing anyone could do i gave up on her and i let go
I, subconsciously and physically, walked away from her and the relationship because I was angry that i wanted more time with her. We were both busy (me-work, her-work and kids) only got a date in per week and couldn't get into the deeper parts to build the foundations. But, in the end she ended the relationship, i feel guilty and sad because I feel it was unresolved.
Rory these are one of your videos that I have to listen to over and over which is similar to your video that you spoke on being clingy. In fact I think the title is "Help I'm Clingy". I really enjoy your videos. You really hit home in the heart. O must confess I thought I was a hip guy with a lot of objectivity but I have been obsessed and hurt still staying around a lady who currently seeing someone else and I actually asked her why she is keeping me around? She never really answers that but the truth is a question I should ask myself
It's hard because she broke up with me and yeah I did a lot of little mistakes because she was my first girlfriend. I learned from them, and I know I'm not a bad boyfriend it's just at the time I couldn't be the best possible boyfriend that I could be. One of the reasons is, I was barely starting my life of adult hood. I couldn't visit her as much as I wanted and the only place I could visit her was at her college, but I never really felt comfortable there so I guess I was a little tense at times. It just sucks when I hear somebody say on TV shows or in general that he or she didn't give you enough so he or she doesn't deserve you. Makes me feel like i let the relationship down when I cared soo much
What about self respect for those of us who’s partner’s anxiety is so bad that they don’t respect any boundaries, are completely emotionally draining trying to keep up with it and then abandoning you when you need space?
I really need help to get rid of this person; He is very needy and when I decided to walk away because of his lack of respect toward women, he started to push harder to get me back. And when I make it clear that I don't want anything to do with him, he thought I was playing hard to get, nothing works to get those disordered people out of life.
well theres nothing to fear or loose where nothing began and its better to have a friend rather then an ex....... you just put it down to lessons learnt.........
I feel like such a fool.....again! I took him back knowing good and well from the beginning that it wouldn't work! No effort, no ambition, no money== no dates! Sooooooooo many red flags but I gave the benefit of the doubt. I honestly thought I would or could be the one he would want to change for....I guess not.! This mans words said one thing and his actions another! But we had a connection! I guess our "mess" was familiar to each other!! The difference is I'm working on mine!!! I value and respect me even if he doesn't !! I am worthy of love and respect and reciprocity! I'm done...again!!
Hope is an Obama word, another words it ain't shit....dont hope, manifest it ......be the best you, butbwhen you are, he maybe not deserving of you......
Hi Rory. I need some advice. My ex gf and I broke up 5 months ago. I did NC and then she reached out around 2 months after. We've been talking and seeing eachother for a while. I have noticed that she doesn't follow through our conversation if it involves feelings. She's always telling me that she's confused on what she wants. She only texts me about things that are superficial and we don't text when she's busy or on weekends. I finally told her that I don't want to be friends with her and that if she does not feel like fixing things then it's best that we part ways, if she still wants to fix things then she can come over and show me. I didn't hear from her after that. Did I do the right thing or did I screw up my chances?
My ex broke up with me because I put him after my studies and my family and I only saw him every few weeks. Our communication sucked because I assumed he was ok with it when he wasn't. It has been 4 months and I still feel guilty. I see why he thought I wasn't interested. I was, but I didn't treat him as a priority and he lost his feelings for me. It sucks.
The truth is, you should always come first. But your S/O should always come second. I understand that is hard for some people to grasp but if you want an actual meaningful relationship. Your life partner cannot be anything less than number 2. You don't put family, friends or anything else above your partner. Except for yourself, that is the one person your partner should not be more important than.
They weren’t looking for real love they already had that they in fact from day one a man knows if your the one or not then they become scared so they need a distraction so they could decide if it’s what they want or not PLAIN AND SIMPLE 💯💯💯💯
i broke no contact ytd, she was rlly receptive when i did it and told me abt how she was doing too n how busy she was. (we broke up cus she had to move away for studies) after we stopped talking i told her i missed her but was doing well. she completely ignored me n did not reply, i messaged her again and she said she was too tired to reply me properly. i said i didnt know she was having a rough time and me disturbing didnt help, text me when u want to yea. She read it n didnt reply. Thats when i realised its best for me to go back into no contact and that she didnt rlly care much (i was in no contact for 50 days already)
I find that you better think long and hard about letting someone go. After a few times of making the decision and then going back being wishy washy, you tend to lose your credibility. This life is short, you need to either make the commitment to leave knowing that the universe has your back, or go back and work on it in earnest and make sure you have a game plan like if this doesn't work out this time it's the last time. There are 7 billion people on this rock! There are plenty of people to spend time with.
my new gf, kinda rebound but she said im worth the suffering and shes running away from me She doesnt want to talk or explain SO im giving it til Dec, thats for the break up Extra 2 months
My wife just contacted her childhood crush after 10 years of our marriage and 15 years after they lost contact. We have 3 kids. There no fights, no defending, n arguments. But, she very lovingly says and requests Very politely that NOT to leave her. She honestly says, she CANNOT stop chatting with him and she DOES NOT even want to leave me. Her boyfriend lives overseas and he's married too with one kid. What should I do?
What you allow will continue. You teach people how to treat you. You are a human being! With feelings! Human beings need to treat each other with love care trust and respect. It seems like the person you are trifling with is not 100% invested in you but this person sees that you are willing to put up with it and let them steam roll right over you. Once a person tells you or makes you feel like they don't want you in their life or they are not sure about you, you leave. You make the decision for them. You take your dignity and your self respect and your integrity and you hold your head up and move on with your life. Don't be scared or worried. The universe will catch you when you fall.
I was dating a man, he proposed told me he wanted 2 more children. I do not have any so i made it clear from the beginning that i wanted at least one. He spoke of us having a child often. I never pressured him. Then out of no where he says he no longer wants children. Broke my heart. We were engaged to be married. It hurt. At one point after he said dont you know kids wreck a womans body? I replied, ill take my chances. Later he sends me an email saying he was "just trying to be nice" by what he said. Instead of saying something mean. Body shaming me. I couldnt believe it. It was so mean. To go on and on about having children with me just to rip the rug right out from under me and then body shame me about it. Im not even fat! It was so mean.
I'm walking away today. Thank you hirory. My wife cheated on me.. i'm not going back.. i withdraw my criminal case against her... the best revenge is no revenge.. walk away and become a better person... dont be like her ty
I walked away from a woman whom took me for granted, mistreated me...l give her what I think she wanted " a break up and space".....l still have feelings for her..... So I be doing the " no contact" here ?
@@koma7778 No!... I've been loyal, respectful to her and our relationship, I've cherished her....I just couldn't handle her boiplor moods anymore... it's now been 3 months... haven't heard anything from her... it's not so painful to me anymore more... it's memory I'll cherish forever...
Hi Rory, great channel! Thanks for ALL THE HELP!! During No Contact, what happens if you accidentally bump into your ex? Like at the mall or something? that Kinda breaks the no contact, no? So how should you react? The reaction could most definitely be a determining factor as to how your ex could perceive you in the future and also if they will choose to reach out to you or consider you as a romantic partner again. I've listened to a lot of videos on no contact, but hardly anybody has covered this scenario. Keep up the wonderful work
+The Love Chat Good stuff. You are doing good work by helping people get through what possibly is the lowest point in their lives! may you forever be blessed
The Love Chat - Another thing Rory, please also cover a scenario where a person could easily confuse an ex just checking up on you, with them reaching out to you. example, if you initiate no contact and your birthday comes up real soon after, and your ex texts you by saying happy birthday, that does not necessarily mean they're reaching out to you, so you don't want to seem desperate and try to arrange a meet up or something, or do you? How does one pick up the difference between them just saying hi, to them actually reaching out? thanks bro...
Hi Rory, my ex reached out after I posted a pic on social media (private message). I answered cool and casual to not scare her away but she never replied back, maybe a little too aloof. My plan was to set a date within 2 or 3 texts but it never reached that point. It has now gone 2 months since. It really confuses me, why could she be doing this?
I have a question. When you mess up a relationship first. But then the other does to when he tries to get revenge. We have kids and we trying to work things out but I recently broke up with him because he likes to treat me like crap because he keeps remembering the past should I walk away and have pride or what should I do??? I need answers
Tonight is The night I refused his bullshit invitation. He immediately accepted my rejection. And he has not bothered to ask to stay either ... very sad 😔
He begged me for months as friends on his posts..to go on Messenger..when we did..he stopped writing after just 10 days..now I feel like Im in the Friend Zone..just chatting on his posts..we discussed marriage etc..thats fucked up!!
When I met my ex 6 years ago he pulled me out of a bad relationship with my husband of 25 years not that it was all bad I had 3 beautiful kids. My ex boyfriend dumped me 17 months ago but for the 14 months of it he kept stringing me along until he monkey branched into finding a relationship with someone else. He hurt me so bad for choosing someone else. He put me up on a petal stool and smoothed me with gifts and money and helped with the kids as well. Then he changed and it was all about himself and he stonewalled me. What’s helped me is going to the gym and walking and seeing a therapist and a good friend. I still find it hard to accept what he did but I can’t change it and I can’t change the things I did to push him away either. I didn’t value myself and I always had a fear that he would cheat on me or I wasn’t good enough and that their is someone else Better than me. But I know now that isn’t true. Self love, and respect yourself. xx
@@TheLoveChat I like how Dating coach said it Soon as they walk out on you Its done, No contect ever even dating guy But love chat, I love your advice and myself, Im going to be 24 soon and trying a teen years again its not fun even temporary friends. I need to work on my goals, idk why, i cant do them
I swear i'm so tired of hearing the let"s just be friends speech and it's better being single than keep begging and please dont beg the more you beg the less respect the person you want to be with will have for you please walk away
#1 rule
If someone isn't making it a PRIORITY to spend time with you then it's not worth it.
People don't really change much. It takes a very long time actually.
So if your bf/gf isn't actively making it a priority to see you in the beginning save yourself the heartache and move on right then.
I needed this today. Thanks. I just ended it with someone after 3 months because I could see early on it was one of those situations that I've already learned from. Sometimes during this healing phase I wonder if I gave it enough patience and time for the issue to work itself out and I then I read comments like yours and I am reminded, yes, yes I did. I just saved myself years of that bs.
@@unhealingwithsandy
Keep your head up. Elevate yourself.
Hope you find success from within that opens opportunity to your life.
My ex was exactly like that. At first he was affectionate, but gradually he kept putting his friends above me to the point that I began feeling really bad about myself. He did come back for a moment, but when he wouldn't even bother to make time for me, to even do basic "friend" things, I quit. Yeah, I got blocked and I feel rejected, but I definitely know I saved myself from even more heartbreak. Thanks for this comment, or else I would have continued to ponder about the "what ifs."
@@rochelleleung8680 so I've been accused of this...but i get very busy in other stuff, but I would ussually see my partner at least twice a week to 4. Only on covid I got really strict about leaving the house.
tonight is the night i walk away.
Good for you. Stand tall and know that you deserve happiness too.
I hope u did it
I walked away last Thurs 14th Oct. I put up with this narcissist behaviour for 6yrs.i feel ashamed I put up with it. I took my power back by walking. Good for you. You can do it if I can. I'm such a softer but I did it
How did you go on?
I walked away 8 weeks ago too, Things were too Toxic, but I've made peace with myself.
Don’t allow someone to disrespect you just because you love them
I walked away 2 weeks ago. Had a panic attack immediately after. I’m still hurting but I’m not going back. I deserve more than he offers. I had a fear of being abandoned by the hardest part was the way I felt disrespected. I need promises to be met and he didn’t do anything. He avoided issues I brought up and he was in control. I couldn’t put up with how old wounds were getting opened up. I was losing myself. I need to rediscover who I am all over again.
This email hits so close.
Similar thing happened to me.
He was so into me at the beginning then started distancing himself & getting cold.
Excuses turned to silence in a week, then 3 weeks of not calling me or texting me AFTER he told me that he enjoys talking to me & he enjoys my company.
He was ignoring my texts (sending him jokes or something of positive vibe once a day) & not returning my calls (called him about twice a week).
So in 2 weeks, I completely stopped calling him & texting him.
I haven't heard anything from him in two weeks. We didn't fight or anything. I even asked him to end things with me if he's not interested in me anymore. He said that's not the case.
I deserve to be treated better than to just be ignored in 3 weeks!!!
So I broke up with him via text.
No blaming, no anger from me.
I just had to let him know that I didn't deserve to be treated the way he disappeared on me.
And...I have to move on and let him go.
I actually thanked him for the lessons! 😊
Bcoz he's a narcissist thats why he giving u BS silent treatment n he's also having other victim thats why he's distance on u n also may be ur jst a rebound n he's jst keeping u around so when something happen again to him on his other gf ot supply he can still comebck to u anytime thats why he's not giving u a closer fr a break up..jst saying base on my experience..try to caughts him be smart enough if he's giving u the silent then give him wat he's doing to u dnt reach out n when the time he call u give him also the silent nt responding to all his mssge n call gve him he's game back to him but be careful bcoz if he's really a narcissist he will revenge on u n make u suffer more..peace..best wat u do is dnt go back to that person coz fr that person ur not matter n ur not important may hes not into u n not serious to be wth u..it hurts but u need to move forward n not be wth this person..a person treat u like thats is no future fr u wth him..
Never thank him again.
When they become distanct that means someone else is involved
What's your condition now?
Did this person ever reach out again? Im going to something similar and would like to know if they ever came back
It's not just about relationships, it can be to do with jobs and careers too. If people challenge you, if you have self-respect and know your facts on your subject, then you come back at them stronger than before. Also if people don't appreciate the sheer effort that you have put in to help them, it's time to let go. People must learn that they cannot take real love for granted.
ELIAKIM Joseph Sophia p
ELIAKIM Joseph Sophia pl
Nail on the head, brother.
NOTHING is worth putting up with manipulative, controlling behavior.
Sadly, some people have a price, at that point self-respect is sacrificed.
Walking away is the hardest thing to do. I walked away last Sunday. I was tired of being string a long. And treat it like an option. Let me remind you our divorce was final in January. I tried everything to save me marriage.
a man who loves his wife does not cheat
So on point and perfect timing! This was happening to me on and off for the past 4 years! I would go back and give him another chance and nothing would change. He never wanted to be exclusive but yet sent me mixed signals, like asked me to go to Cancun!! The trip never happened. I walked away for good this time 2 weeks ago! He thought I was just saying goodbye for the night. No, a hole I am saying goodbye forever! Not one text from him, not one from me! Now you can feel the pain of my silence and absence!
How's it going now? Did you keep walking? I hope so!!
Facts over feelings
I had to walk away from my marriage. My husband cheated on me. He lied on his own child stating that he’s going to see him. And went to be with his side chick. She’s constantly posting Facebook status and pictures of them together. I had to walk away. I changed my number, moving soon, and blocked him from my social media sites. I’m healing.
I wish you all the healing in the world
The Love Chat thank you. I’m healing and receiving blessings from the universe and God!
Good choice
Good for you God Bless you
In 2014, I was the one who got dumped and did everything one could do wrong during a break up.
But, my insanity led me to learn about all this stuff you teach. I am so grateful you share your wisdom. I am going through a breakup now and let me just say, knowledge (and practice) is power.
This time I ended it and walked away with myself-respect and dignity in tact. It has all been 100x smoother. Sometimes I still need a refresher course on "Breakups 101".
For anyone out there who feels it it too far gone, it gets better and so will you, trust me.
We’ve been broken up but she messed around with her ex before me and then told me about it like I wanted to hear it. I told her to stay out of my life because I deserved better than I walked away.
Rory thank you for your channel, it has helped me to focus on myself. Up to today I feel great. Please keep doing what you do.
Absolutely! I used to be disrespected in past relationships and let them walk all over me. So when I noticed that my most recent ex was disrespecting me (refused to stop seeing her ex and she started breadcrumbing me and strung me along) I confronted her about it and told her my boundaries. She obviously didn't empathize with me or honestly respect me, and said that a relationship "just isnt a priority right now". My response was well then I wish you the best, so i walked. If you dont have time for me, or want to keep an ex around, then I don't need you in my life. Bye
I love this channel and you’re an incredible relationship coach. I enjoy the way you express and communicate so authentically and clearly. I listened to this video 4 times now to really let it sink in and it has given me so much peace. I am at 1.5 months after an intense breakup and finally am able to question if maybe I’m way better off without this person that once mattered to me so much. I am finally coming to terms that my self worth is so much more valuable than what I received. Thank you for all your videos, especially this one!
Thank you, Meela! I wish all the best for you!
Your videos rock!! Makes total sense. Thank you so much. You are very caring and kind.
I freaking love you bro. I’m reclaiming my self respect.
The problem is when we, who got heartbroken, often find it very difficult to open up to someone new....let alone to commit
I always wanted to be the kind of person who could walk away from someone who treated me badly without any fuss, drama or violence, but my Ex knew how to press my buttons till I emotionally and physically couldn't take anymore. I'd be so hurt and desperate I'd lash out. Tonight I've walked away for good. I forgive myself for being human with feelings and know I did nothing to be treated badly. The cruelty was unbelievable, and I made mistakes. No more. I'm tired of it all. I don't need anyone to complete me. Good riddance to him. Future here in I come. 🍒
I just love hearing your voice. It is so calm and so pleasant to the ears. 😊🤗
Lack of communication is awful, even with friends.... Walk away from these people if they keep treating you like crap. I have lost a few friends because I was the one reaching out all the time....I can't tolerate with these types of people anymore...enough is enough...I walked away from a job because I was treated like crap, so I left without any notice, I'm not being treated like that... Never let people treat you like that....it's totally out of order...
Word!
Hi Rory, wow that email hit me hard because it was exactly what I was going through... long story short she was married and I also found out she was still involved with her “other” ex boyfriend... she used the fact that I was “jealous” and “obsessive” to break it off with me. This relationship was my fault because I fell for her sorry situation.. I gave my heart and I paid for it. My heart is filled with hate but I know I can’t hang on to this emotion. I’m a good man, successful man, and a great father. I will find another true person because I deserve a good woman. Thank you for your channel.
As someone who has been in a similar situation but not to the point of the verbal abuse, I didn't have self respect for myself to walk away or face this fear of loneliness so I let myself get strung along. While I have a lot of positive memories, I got to watch this person get engaged. They're polyamorous, but I'm not, and I was never the priority. Now I get to share my experience to how this created more fears of abandonment and has become a trigger for my anxiety. I've taken action now but I wanted to share this to anybody who feels they are walked on to walk away because it's not worth the damage it's going to cause in the long run.
Me we are n a same situation
Thank you..i needed to hear this
Situationships 😪
Hi Rory, thank you for your videos, they always make so much sense, it’s been 6months since I lost the love of my life, but lisenting to your videos really helps and puts everything into prospective. Bcz I love her I have let her go, if she comes back I guess either way the saying is true.
Thanks again
James VAL don't feel bad i lost the love of my life several months ago and it sucks and hurts on how good i loved her and now she takes me for granted your not alone.
The love of your life won't break your heart.
Thanks beloved! Blessings beloved! I appreciate your energy its so genuine and serene!! Glory be to god! El Shaddai!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Wow my ex did this to me. Our relationship wasn’t good I get that but I tried to make it work. She left in March and fed me all this bs about “what’s the rush it’s no one else blah blah” she even said he was going to come see me in April and never showed up but once I got angry about it she said “that’s why I did not come see you” after that she stopped replying to my messages and blocked my call. I haven’t heard from her since. I stopped reaching out because she played with my emotions thinking I had a chance but I didn’t.
People with a self sacrifice schema will put up with so much disrespect unless the dumper CUTS it off completely or you find it in yourself to walk away and learn to love yourself..keep listening to Rory guys, you’ll be fine xxx
You’re so knowledgeable. I ❤️ listening to your videos. I’ve learned so much from you.
This is my first time listening to your channel and i’m in love with your voice 😀 your tone is so soothing. And I’m walking away from the man that I love but won’t commit 😑😒
Welcome, Susanti!!
This is my story, but it took me 3 years to understand I had to walk away, and when I found out he was using dating apps
Better late than never!!
@@TheLoveChat thank you so much for your work and videos. I feel so embarrassed to tell other people what happened to me, what I’ve accepted for such a long time and now I am feeling miserable. Thank you so much, I’m crying for days and your channel helps me a lot! I wish you all the best in the world 🙏🏼❤️
Your the best IAM free now because of you and your words of wisdom. Looking back i was blinded by the drama. Thanks again
Glad to help! :)
Infatuation is dangerous drug as soon as you realise you put up with some much bs thanks to being blinded by infatuation you will be truly free, if they don't put in the effort you're putting in always walk away and don't look back unless they reach out and treat you with respect, even then be aware of their behaviour because it'll always creep back in when it does boom cut them off again. If this happens all the time then it's time to fully move on that's what I would advice anyone going through something similar.
That’s exactly what I’m going through it’s like these guys have no heart for women how can they hurt someone knowingly and plus tagging them along
Same here however it was woman who did it to me, at the end we are all people and we have to get rid of the toxic people within our lives.
I’m just like the guy in the example , except that it was a LDR and I was dumped. Currently im having a heartbreak and trying to work hard now
Omg.....thank you!!! I'm trying very hard to be strong!😭😢😍😘
@@Medehaneyalem27 Please do not fall for this - it is a scam.
@@TheLoveChat oh my god I know right! I made a mistake 2 days ago😭 cuz I was so desperate and devastated so I text this guy his from Nigerian and he took a lot of money from me and mess me up and plus I want everything to come from god I don't want anything that comes from the devil if u know what I mean
man i love you for your work to help others❤️
Anger, for a time, can be good. It is a normal human response and part of any grieving process - and at least for a bit, it can be protective. I used to get down on myself for feeling angry and not moving quickly into a forgiving mindspace, but I finally made peace with any anger I may feel and just allow myself to feel it because if I didn't, I would feel it later anyway. Soon enough, it will usually pass so I say feel whatever you're feeling, let it flow out of you (while alone! I'm not advocating unleashing it on anyone else - NO!) But don't beat yourself up if you cannot quickly move to forgiveness, you're human ❤
Love your. I learned so much
Thanks Rory
Love your topics. I have learned so much.
Im going through it myself Rory, i broke up with my ex 5 months ago she started dating someone 3 weeks after now they live together and everything we have a 1 year old daughter together and we were together for 2 years since then we only talk about things that involve the baby we had a few lengthy phone conversations once in which she said something bad about her new bf but i tried not get my hopes up. I miss her and i love her dearly i always will. I wished i would have showed her when it mattered instead i did the worst thing anyone could do i gave up on her and i let go
I, subconsciously and physically, walked away from her and the relationship because I was angry that i wanted more time with her. We were both busy (me-work, her-work and kids) only got a date in per week and couldn't get into the deeper parts to build the foundations. But, in the end she ended the relationship, i feel guilty and sad because I feel it was unresolved.
I walked away a long ago and I did well
I walked away 23 days ago after 6 and 1/2 years. I haven't caved and it feels good to only have to worry about being in control of one person. Me.
Rory these are one of your videos that I have to listen to over and over which is similar to your video that you spoke on being clingy. In fact I think the title is "Help I'm Clingy". I really enjoy your videos. You really hit home in the heart. O must confess I thought I was a hip guy with a lot of objectivity but I have been obsessed and hurt still staying around a lady who currently seeing someone else and I actually asked her why she is keeping me around? She never really answers that but the truth is a question I should ask myself
Similar to my situation but I got strung along for a year
Marlen Gallegos same!
It's hard because she broke up with me and yeah I did a lot of little mistakes because she was my first girlfriend. I learned from them, and I know I'm not a bad boyfriend it's just at the time I couldn't be the best possible boyfriend that I could be. One of the reasons is, I was barely starting my life of adult hood. I couldn't visit her as much as I wanted and the only place I could visit her was at her college, but I never really felt comfortable there so I guess I was a little tense at times. It just sucks when I hear somebody say on TV shows or in general that he or she didn't give you enough so he or she doesn't deserve you. Makes me feel like i let the relationship down when I cared soo much
It’s hard I feel deep love for that person
Your channel is the best one.. ❤️❤️🔥I hope you and your family is safe love from India 🇮🇳❤️
What about self respect for those of us who’s partner’s anxiety is so bad that they don’t respect any boundaries, are completely emotionally draining trying to keep up with it and then abandoning you when you need space?
I really need help to get rid of this person; He is very needy and when I decided to walk away because of his lack of respect toward women, he started to push harder to get me back. And when I make it clear that I don't want anything to do with him, he thought I was playing hard to get, nothing works to get those disordered people out of life.
well theres nothing to fear or loose where nothing began
and its better to have a friend rather then an ex.......
you just put it down to lessons learnt.........
Well this video makes since.. Well I'm going to walk away.. It be so hard . It's best for me..
I feel like such a fool.....again! I took him back knowing good and well from the beginning that it wouldn't work! No effort, no ambition, no money== no dates! Sooooooooo many red flags but I gave the benefit of the doubt. I honestly thought I would or could be the one he would want to change for....I guess not.! This mans words said one thing and his actions another! But we had a connection! I guess our "mess" was familiar to each other!! The difference is I'm working on mine!!! I value and respect me even if he doesn't !! I am worthy of love and respect and reciprocity! I'm done...again!!
You are amazing and adorable , thank you .
Guity Khoshdel Thank you!!
It’s difficult after 38 years...family & grandchildren...I want him back...I’m anxious....I’m working on my self..I’m hoping he will come back
Hope is an Obama word, another words it ain't shit....dont hope, manifest it ......be the best you, butbwhen you are, he maybe not deserving of you......
It almost made me cry.
Hi Rory. I need some advice. My ex gf and I broke up 5 months ago. I did NC and then she reached out around 2 months after. We've been talking and seeing eachother for a while. I have noticed that she doesn't follow through our conversation if it involves feelings. She's always telling me that she's confused on what she wants. She only texts me about things that are superficial and we don't text when she's busy or on weekends. I finally told her that I don't want to be friends with her and that if she does not feel like fixing things then it's best that we part ways, if she still wants to fix things then she can come over and show me. I didn't hear from her after that. Did I do the right thing or did I screw up my chances?
Dude trust me go travel and enjoy life there is more fish out there
My ex broke up with me because I put him after my studies and my family and I only saw him every few weeks. Our communication sucked because I assumed he was ok with it when he wasn't. It has been 4 months and I still feel guilty. I see why he thought I wasn't interested. I was, but I didn't treat him as a priority and he lost his feelings for me. It sucks.
The truth is, you should always come first. But your S/O should always come second. I understand that is hard for some people to grasp but if you want an actual meaningful relationship. Your life partner cannot be anything less than number 2. You don't put family, friends or anything else above your partner. Except for yourself, that is the one person your partner should not be more important than.
Exactly the same thing is happening to me
They weren’t looking for real love they already had that they in fact from day one a man knows if your the one or not then they become scared so they need a distraction so they could decide if it’s what they want or not PLAIN AND SIMPLE 💯💯💯💯
i broke no contact ytd, she was rlly receptive when i did it and told me abt how she was doing too n how busy she was. (we broke up cus she had to move away for studies) after we stopped talking i told her i missed her but was doing well. she completely ignored me n did not reply, i messaged her again and she said she was too tired to reply me properly. i said i didnt know she was having a rough time and me disturbing didnt help, text me when u want to yea. She read it n didnt reply. Thats when i realised its best for me to go back into no contact and that she didnt rlly care much (i was in no contact for 50 days already)
Good stuff!
Do you have a video of breaking up her and regretting it , how to get back with her again?
I find that you better think long and hard about letting someone go. After a few times of making the decision and then going back being wishy washy, you tend to lose your credibility. This life is short, you need to either make the commitment to leave knowing that the universe has your back, or go back and work on it in earnest and make sure you have a game plan like if this doesn't work out this time it's the last time. There are 7 billion people on this rock! There are plenty of people to spend time with.
Gratitude 💜🖤✨
How to stop thinking of x after much time of break up
8:15 is Tuff, i dont want to regret it, idk maybe
i extra care and want to work it our
but they are not showing it
my new gf, kinda rebound but she said im worth the suffering and shes running away from me
She doesnt want to talk or explain
SO im giving it til Dec, thats for the break up
Extra 2 months
My wife just contacted her childhood crush after 10 years of our marriage and 15 years after they lost contact. We have 3 kids.
There no fights, no defending, n arguments. But, she very lovingly says and requests Very politely that NOT to leave her. She honestly says, she CANNOT stop chatting with him and she DOES NOT even want to leave me.
Her boyfriend lives overseas and he's married too with one kid.
What should I do?
Tell her she has to delete him from her life
What you allow will continue. You teach people how to treat you. You are a human being! With feelings! Human beings need to treat each other with love care trust and respect. It seems like the person you are trifling with is not 100% invested in you but this person sees that you are willing to put up with it and let them steam roll right over you. Once a person tells you or makes you feel like they don't want you in their life or they are not sure about you, you leave. You make the decision for them. You take your dignity and your self respect and your integrity and you hold your head up and move on with your life. Don't be scared or worried. The universe will catch you when you fall.
i am going through the wrost time of my love :) i am dying daily
I was dating a man, he proposed told me he wanted 2 more children. I do not have any so i made it clear from the beginning that i wanted at least one. He spoke of us having a child often. I never pressured him. Then out of no where he says he no longer wants children. Broke my heart. We were engaged to be married. It hurt. At one point after he said dont you know kids wreck a womans body? I replied, ill take my chances. Later he sends me an email saying he was "just trying to be nice" by what he said. Instead of saying something mean. Body shaming me. I couldnt believe it. It was so mean. To go on and on about having children with me just to rip the rug right out from under me and then body shame me about it. Im not even fat! It was so mean.
I'm walking away today. Thank you hirory. My wife cheated on me.. i'm not going back.. i withdraw my criminal case against her... the best revenge is no revenge.. walk away and become a better person... dont be like her ty
I walked away from a woman whom took me for granted, mistreated me...l give her what I think she wanted " a break up and space".....l still have feelings for her..... So I be doing the " no contact" here ?
Doesnt seem good bro. I think women who go away are not worth keeping. Unless you did something to break their trust and deserve it.
@@koma7778 No!... I've been loyal, respectful to her and our relationship, I've cherished her....I just couldn't handle her boiplor moods anymore... it's now
been 3 months... haven't heard anything from her... it's not so painful to me anymore more... it's memory I'll cherish forever...
@@felixvega3129 mm...move on.
Worth listening 👍
Amazing messages thanks💕💕💖💕💕👑
I hate to sound like a judgey captain obvious but....what was she expecting if she knew from the beginning that he was not being exclusive?
Hi Rory, great channel! Thanks for ALL THE HELP!! During No Contact, what happens if you accidentally bump into your ex? Like at the mall or something? that Kinda breaks the no contact, no? So how should you react? The reaction could most definitely be a determining factor as to how your ex could perceive you in the future and also if they will choose to reach out to you or consider you as a romantic partner again. I've listened to a lot of videos on no contact, but hardly anybody has covered this scenario.
Keep up the wonderful work
That is actually the topic i'm covering 2 videos from now! Stay tuned!
+The Love Chat Good stuff. You are doing good work by helping people get through what possibly is the lowest point in their lives! may you forever be blessed
The Love Chat - Another thing Rory, please also cover a scenario where a person could easily confuse an ex just checking up on you, with them reaching out to you. example, if you initiate no contact and your birthday comes up real soon after, and your ex texts you by saying happy birthday, that does not necessarily mean they're reaching out to you, so you don't want to seem desperate and try to arrange a meet up or something, or do you? How does one pick up the difference between them just saying hi, to them actually reaching out? thanks bro...
I had to walk away yet I feel like the dumpee
Me too. I dumped mine for all the right reasons and to save my sanity and yet I feel like, in a way, that I was the dumpee.
Hi Rory, my ex reached out after I posted a pic on social media (private message). I answered cool and casual to not scare her away but she never replied back, maybe a little too aloof. My plan was to set a date within 2 or 3 texts but it never reached that point. It has now gone 2 months since. It really confuses me, why could she be doing this?
asdfsson
For attention maybe?
Def another guy in the picture.
I have a question. When you mess up a relationship first. But then the other does to when he tries to get revenge. We have kids and we trying to work things out but I recently broke up with him because he likes to treat me like crap because he keeps remembering the past should I walk away and have pride or what should I do??? I need answers
Well if you cheated or broke trust its your fault and you destroyed the relationship. Trust is almost impossible to rebuild if its a deep betrayal.
There a 7 billion pple in case someone feels proud lol
I am in the same boat as the person in the video. :( I need self respect
Tonight is The night I refused his bullshit invitation. He immediately accepted my rejection. And he has not bothered to ask to stay either ... very sad 😔
Your voice !😻😻😻
kindly post something on a partner in limerence
He begged me for months as friends on his posts..to go on Messenger..when we did..he stopped writing after just 10 days..now I feel like Im in the Friend Zone..just chatting on his posts..we discussed marriage etc..thats fucked up!!
5:55 I think the guy's response to "what's going on?" was (for him) "to get in better shape" (he's still a jerk though)
When I met my ex 6 years ago he pulled me out of a bad relationship with my husband of 25 years not that it was all bad I had 3 beautiful kids.
My ex boyfriend dumped me 17 months ago but for the 14 months of it he kept stringing me along until he monkey branched into finding a relationship with someone else. He hurt me so bad for choosing someone else. He put me up on a petal stool and smoothed me with gifts and money and helped with the kids as well. Then he changed and it was all about himself and he stonewalled me.
What’s helped me is going to the gym and walking and seeing a therapist and a good friend.
I still find it hard to accept what he did but I can’t change it and I can’t change the things I did to push him away either.
I didn’t value myself and I always had a fear that he would cheat on me or I wasn’t good enough and that their is someone else Better than me. But I know now that isn’t true. Self love, and respect yourself. xx
Karma really was a bitch huh? lol
Pedestal*
What if she’s dating someone else now...
Rooster Brand Hi there! Check out my video "my ex is dating someone new"
@@TheLoveChat I like how Dating coach said it
Soon as they walk out on you
Its done, No contect ever
even dating guy
But love chat, I love your advice and myself, Im going to be 24 soon and trying a teen years again its not fun even temporary friends. I need to work on my goals, idk why, i cant do them
I lost my ex.
Still sad and depressed
Mr cat lol you good now?
Lol find someone else.
She stoped having sex, always excuses. Been months and months
im walking away tonight
My self respect is in the toilet now...Im not writing him anymore..let the other 200 people on his posts give him his comfort and attention..
This man sounds narcissistic and all the red flags are there . She got a lucky escape.
Only closure she needed was an understanding that she deserves better in ger life. Burn that bridge
🙇🏻🙇🏻🙇🏻🙇🏻🙇🏻🙇🏻🙇🏻🙇🏻🙇🏻
I you video
I swear i'm so tired of hearing the let"s just be friends speech and it's better being single than keep begging and please dont beg the more you beg the less respect the person you want to be with will have for you please walk away
I love your voice and the things you say. Very empathetic.