Tradwives & The Tumblr
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ส.ค. 2022
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Its my goal to out-submissive my wife. As the man of the relationship I can not lose at anything, and that includes being the most subservient.
Underrated comment
idk y but i imagine this comment being narrated by clay puppington
@@Skeletor8387 no but literally same 💀
@Succubi are the Sorceresses of Coom pur
@@Irongaze86 shhh just them them have this one for the sake of their wife
lesbian bloggers being into cottagecore is the 21st century equivalent of medieval lesbians joining a convent
GASP
*Conventcore*
@@aidanshea5942 literally just warrior nun
They would have to avoid being forced to marry men . People joined the churches as nuns and monks to avoid marriage
I love how there's just a random image of the onceler in the tradwife tag. Nature always finds a way.
I think that onceler was just a censor for a selfie, unfortunately
tbh the onceler fulfils both roles in a tradwife's relationship
@@inthegrass11 onecest reference
@@inthegrass11STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOSPSOPTSTOPSTTOPSTSTOPSTTSOSPTTOPSTSPOT
@@erynharris3247 i really dont think so considering you can see strange's cursor over it, and it would've been difficult to edit that
A lot of these posts seem like they're about the desire to own property and have fulfilling labour, which... yeah feminism ain't what's standing in their way there
people keep blaming feminism for what feminism actively fights against
“Own property”……hmmmmm……
Sounds like crapitalist propaganda
holy crap its abby philosophy from philosophy tube!!!!
As a 40-ish lefty, I see a lot of lefty/hippy women post cottage-core stuff. No surprise. They're the people with over a hundred plants, or a nature shrine, etc etc.
Honestly alot of their issues with feminism stems from rad fems and terfs putting down women who like traditionally soft things
My husband is currently cutting paving slabs for our backyard, and I’m being submissive by not helping him and eating ice cream.
Weird flex but ok
The dream.
@@laraalvarezzz2 licherally x
yes you are weak. Cant help. must sit on tuffet and eat bon bons
Gasbos, girlkeep, gatelight 💅
the trad wife community can say everyone is welcome here but it's so obvious who it caters to. there is a reason they idealize the Jim Crow era
This, right here.
IKR
Fax no printer
if you look at the tags with a lot of pictures, it's always white women
when that one blog said you were "welcome _despite_ your skin colour/sexuality ect." i was thinking "what an awfully telling choice of words"
"I don't want your gender roles, I want your fresh bread" is a quote I need on a throw pillow
Oohh I would love this on a cushion!
dinner rolls not gender roles. 🍞
Same
@@MewLimeperfect
i have to make this pillow now. i have no other choice
Thinking back on the elder relatives in my family lines who actually were traditional farm wives, I'm laughing at the idea that they were submissive to anyone. They'd survived hell and buried husbands and kids. They took no nonsense from anyone. The surviving men in their lives invariably had places they'd go to hide from them when they'd screwed up. Sure they could be nice and make amazing candies from a few jars of basic ingredients, but their lives were not this froo-froo nonsense from 50's advertising.
Grandma might've cooked back in the day, but yea, she very much had the grip on authority. Even when she was in her later 90s, unable to walk nor hear, she'd get super angry if anyone tried to help her. Mom went to go help her down a handicap ramp and she barked "Don't you fucking touch me, I can do it myself". Then she started rolling down it and I still feel awful for busting my gut about her screeching, "I told you to stop pushing meeeeeee!" As she went down
@@Ipsolus I love old people like that lmao
Ghn
That's facts though. My grandmother and grandfather had this whole traditional gender role stuff but there is no doubt that my grandmother ran things. Sure my grandfather worked but he wasn't working for himself. He was working for her.
Jesse what the fuck are you talking about
My aceness aside, I'm clearly not a man these trad gender roles are thinking of. I would be so incredibly uncomfortable if someone said they "lived to serve me", like yo, I suggest getting your own life too because mine is not interesting enough for two people.
Well said! THis isnt healthy for men either, with it's rigid idea of what masculinity is, and that it is a mans job to provide.
It's a recipe for divorce (outside of a very specific kink-based lifestyle) TBH because there's suddenly heavy expectations that go with that and suddenly the dude is basically carrying *everything.* Pretty sure the other half of trad-wife is the stereotypical husband who goes out drinking every night to get away from the old ball and chain, who resents his kids and ditches his family to chase after someone half his age to relive youthful fantasies he felt the world denied him. It's not healthy for anyone.
@@29jgirl92 Plus it deprives them of a real meaningful connection with their SO, if they're just going to see them as a glorified slave. That's actually what was behind some of the "acceptance" of homosexuality in ancient rome, it was the fact that they didn't view their wives as real people and could only form a real connection with another man.
Wow you summarized my thoughts exactly in a way more comprehensive way lmao. It would make me so uncomfortable and exhausted to think someone wanted to worship my authority like that ALL THE TIME. Like fuck, part of my role is to be accomodating for whatever interests and aspirations you should have. And also its so concerning how a lot of these kindve have the rule of 'dont correct/argue/check your husband' like damn if someones partner is wrong they should feel comfortable enough to correct them, surely? The wifes ego is just as important as the husbands, surely? I mean the idea is to build on eachothers confidence and help with eahcothers flaws, not pull yourself down to lift him up. but thats just my take i guess.
If someone said they lived to serve me I would assume they were really kinky, not that they were catholic
Imagine thinking your domestic dom/sub fantasies are universal and also what God wants so you make a blog about it.
Oh no did I imagine too hard it came true there IS a blog about it helb
Christianity is also always talking about bondage and how Jesus frees us from it 😳
Not to mention your breeding kink!!
@@kai_fatallysapphic he allows us to be free from it we just have to say the safe word
THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING TOO 💀💀💀
Me: *just trying to clean the dishes*
Dysphoria: "There is something so innately feminine about doing the dishes"
My friend told me “ask any guy what his favorite chore is he’ll say dishes” which I was highly skeptical of but we ended up asking two different guys at the bar that night and they both individually said dishes so. It might actually be th e most masculine chore of all
@@emilyr8668 mine is cleaning the mirrors personally, i like spraying the mirror juice and then wiping them down and i don't know why
@@aromanticfranziskavonkarma the "mirror juice" is a fun term.
I find it fun when the toilet syrup foams and turns the water blue.
@@styno9295 Oh the toilet syrup….
@Algebra [Spamton is MINE!] honestly in my house my husband does the dishes and the trash so I agree masculine chore lmao
I found a trans trad-husband on Tumblr quite recently so...that sure is a new type of guy.
Trans inclusive radical misogyny?
I want to study that guy from a distance like a weird creature I saw in the woods.
Talk about insecure. I am a trans man and this is a shit I would have followed as a kid when I didn't see myself as a man enough lol
@@laultimarebanadaseconded as transmasc I did that same thing late middle school until about mid highschool
10:28 the second I saw "nesting fever" I was like *oh no, we've gone too far, we're entering the omegaverse*
Supernatural's influence still strong
It it really that far off? 🤔😂
It’s so far into the omegaverse it doesn’t know it’s nesting
I'm beginning to think that the TradWife core is just an aesthetic-ised Sub / Dom kink with role-play and bows attached. You know, with all the "happily submitted" and "discipline" tags.
I feel like the Magic Eye poster just shifted into focus. You are onto something.
FR! It just feels like kink but like with a different aesthetic.
@@jakemitchell9853 q
Religion and sex have some really big intersections when you think about it 😳
@@calliope3237 being down bad is like a pillar of catholicism fr. if trads were actually cool they’d have brought back having visions and mortification of the flesh in the monastery, all this is just lame
getting beaten by my husband because i did his steak medium rare instead of rare but it’s okay because it’s true to the tradwife femcore 50s aesthetic
@@Irongaze86 what
Well it is ok if its true to your fantasys and some boundaries have been established
As an edgy queer who has a farm, I think you nailed it on the weird dichotomy of the cottage core aesthetic. I got into homesteading and self-sustainability because to me it seemed like a way to escape from society(tm) and be able to fend for myself when others would not help me. It's weird getting advice on how to milk your goats from a video of a tradwife with her 4 kids running around in the background, but it's the what you gotta do sometimes.
The tradwives' hyperfixation on shit like SUBMISSION and OBEDIENCE just convinces me that it's 100% a fetish thing. Dom/sub as well as just fetishizing the whole 50's housewife aesthetic, which. The skirts are very cute, I will give them that. But "obey him" and all that? Definitely a fetish thing.
I think it's a fetish thing for half of them, and the other half is astroturfing by shit like the Heritage Foundation...
"HELLO FELLOW 'TUMBLER' WOMEN! BOY, AS AN ACTUAL WOMAN I SURE DO ENJOY CONFORMING TO TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES AND GIVING LARGE SUMS OF MONEY TO THE KOCH BROTHERS! #TRADWIFE #TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES #TOTALY NOT BEING PAID OFF BY THE KOCH BROTHERS"
as someone who spent some time exploring the tags and blogs (only because of boredom and curiosity), there is definitely a fetish side to this. You will find blogs where it is only about sex, and a part of those do see it as a full lifestyle while for others its just roleplay, and it's obvious when you read their posts. BUT I would say for the majority it is really just religious right wing people who believe in gender roles and the nuclear family, and they absolutely hate the fetish side of it. I've seen blogs with anti-kink and dni kink blogs in their bio, occasionally they'll make entire posts about how it's not a sex thing and they think its disgusting that its used for kink, they'll write about how when finding a traditional man you need to make sure they're good men who follow the bible and aren't just using traditional women for a housewife sex fantasy. So yeah, there's a fetish side to this, but its definitely not 100% (though maybe they're just hiding their fetishes, as right wing religious people do lmao)
@@chloeiversen3043 "get on your knees and pray" sounds super kinky tho
@@drendraleigh4722 yeah lol it doesn't sound innocent, it does make me happy that these people's sexist homophobic racist beliefs can be twisted into something sexual because they hate it so much
They are too scared to admit they have kinks
I refuse to believe this isn't a kink thing, like this is someone taking their mommy kink to it's logical conclusion
Edit: I did not expect my silly little observation to gain so much traction, what the actual fuck
It IS a kink but these religious people don’t REALISE it’s a kink and will absolutely go windows loading screen if you explain to them they’re just kinky
This is the kind of remark that can trigger astral projection.
# tih is ddlg all the way like I'm not kink shaming but it's unhealthy that they do not see that right?
TRADWIFE IS KINK
IT IIIIIISSSS
first post of the video is literally about being a "submissive" and half of the others talk about babies so... they just yearn to be submissive and breedable
The one thing that always comes to mind with those anti-feminists, trads and girl defines is that they don't seem to realize that they have a platform THANKS to feminism. If not for it, they would not be allowed to have social media at all.
Oh, they know. They’re just not going to acknowledge that fact. Or any other fact that undermines their inane messaging.
@@alexwyatt2911 Cherry picking in a field they wouldn't have been allowed in, during the time they idolize.
Why wouldn't women be allowed on social media?
@@gattzflappa6306 Among misogynistic excuses, it lets them show themselves off without a man's permission, lets them talk to other men, and gives them an empowering space to be themselves.
If not for men, there wouldn't be an internet at all.
Your welcome.
you cannot imagine the whiplash the word "pregnancycore" gave me
Seeing some women be this aggressively heterosexual is validating in a roundabout way…I will never be this into men and it solidifies the fact for myself that I’m only into women
Same for me but I’m aroace
It's the aggressive support of their own oppression, subordination, and desecration that really confuses and depresses me
Honestly I don't think its about being into men for them. I think its a lot more to do with giving into the pressure of society to try to conform to the female gender role as deeply and perfectly as possible.
@@pauldee1577 I feel like a lot of it is people who don't know how deep their own sub kink goes because of religion.
Like if they weren't so sheltered away from all things sex and kink a lot of these women would be like full on "sleeps in a cage at the foot of his bed 🥰" types. There's nothing wrong with that, and honestly, obv assuming they had decent non abusive partners, they'd probably be better off mentally than just sitting in the abusive relationships their politics likely will end up getting them in.
@@fangsabre Yes! I've always had this thought. Why do some people have to tie submissiveness to a gender? You can still be submissive out of your own free will and choice, not because you were born a certain way.
I feel like most of these women aren't married and fantasize over a life that simply is unattainable. They want to be stay at home mothers who dote on their children and husband, without having to worry about work or the world around them. There is no conflict in that world to them. The imaginary husband treats them well, leads their household, and they are happy together.
But real life rarely turns out like that. Not to mention, women who actually live on homesteads contribute just as much as their husband's in terms of actual menial labor. When you live on a homestead and are self sufficient, everyone is getting down in the dirt and caring for the land. It's not a pretty pinterest post. It's hard work.
When I was in college, I definitely had some TradWife fantasies. School was so stressful and the idea of just relying on my husband to take care of me financially while I took care of the domestic sphere really appealed to me.
I'm married now, but I make my own money. My husband is great, but as a whole I'm a lot less stressed knowing that if anything happened to him, I'd still be able to support myself.
Yeah, some people really enjoy that hard work, but if you're doing it to try to get away from the daily grind of the modern world then you should know that you're just trading a desk for a bunch of hand tools. I enjoy physical labour much more than a desk job, so I'd be pretty okay with it, but I don't live on a farm because farms are expensive and I am poor.
This. Honestly the only thing that defines tradwife or tradhusband for me is someone who is loyal to their spouse. My grandparents and their parents both had a nuclear family, but both spouses were incredibly loyal to one another and worked their asses of to achieve their dreams. I'm not sure if it's a privileged thing to have a literal housewife but it seems that from me and my family's background it is. And being a housewife isn't necessarily bad at all; it's a beautiful thing to be, but the stereotype of it isn't painted in the best light nowadays because of how housewife were treated in the past.
Yeah. Its a fantasy that women anywhere wont be involved in some form of labour and that their husbands will treat them well while being dominant even though we know that the biggest predictor of abuse in a heterosexial relationship is partnering with a man who believes that men should domimate women.
Also, even if they just stayed home focusing on raising children; it's a lot of work! My mom was a SAHM because we were fortunate enough to support ourselves on a single income, but that doesn't mean all the hard work goes away. And I was a relatively normal kid that just needed a bit more help when i was younger and had some medical problems. What happens when your kid is autistic? Or is physically disabled? Or gets hurt in a way that affects them? Or a million other things that could happen?
Its not all sunshine and rainbows, and I 100% respect the parents that commit so much time to doing their best to raise their kids.
I think cottagecore fits with the queer community not because of the "traditional values" aspect but more the commune in the woods - run away from capitalism - wild with women aspect
Yeah, queer cottagecore has a lot of "growing your own food, maximalist, lots of plants, probably cute drawings of mushrooms."
A friend of mine loves cottagecore and it's all about the cozy vibes and pretending you live in a mushroom.
@@jem5636 exactly! "would a frog on a lillypad do it" mentality
@@gloomysunday9836 YES. Exactly that.
It's kinda a weird fusion of farming-collectivism and Terry Pratchett's witches, essentially lending a personality to the brutalist, realist aesthetic
"something so feminine about cleaning dishes" me in my dorm with my $1 target pink plate dropping it in my sink every 2 seconds in my tiny ass windowless dorm bathroom. mmmm so feminine
Well it's pink!! Very feminine!
here's my hot take: tradwife life is a kink. hear me out. i grew up in a conservative christian community and then later got involved in BDSM. at one dungeon i frequented, the owner and his wife engaged in a style of BDSM called 24/7 which means that instead of their dom/sub relationship being confined to one aspect of their lives (ie the bedroom, the scene, etc), it was maintained 24/7. i was surprised to recognize this relationship dynamic as being the same one i saw modeled by the good christians back home (except with better costumes). the biggest difference, and the reason i have a problem with tradwives, is that the tradwives tend to try and push their relationship dynamic on others, including their children, while BDSM folk generally don't do that. but i don't kink shame and i support the tradwives in engaging in whatever consensual fetish gets them off.
because most people in the BDSM community understand the concept of RACK (risk aware consensual kink) and have drawing lines and consent as their keystones. But because the people in the tradwife community (which absolutely is a kink) have terminal brainworms from their conservative Christian identity they cannot endure the cognitive dissonance of acknowledging that they HAVE a kink. Add in the Christian insistence on proselytising and you have the perfect recipe for a mentality that would instantly get you kicked out of the dungeon for being dangerous to yourself any others.
@@josephpotter5766 y'all have the same theory I do. I think we're correct. these fools are in denial about their kinks, and it's so funny and sad at the same time.
@@josephpotter5766 Exactly, the tradwife thing is way more extreme than 24/7 because there are no safety rules and it goes along with enforcing the lifestyle on others through coercion.
At least some of the time, I think you're absolutely right - I DARE you to not come to the conclusion that the woman who submits and surrenders isn't getting off on it in some way. If they were honest about it, it could even be perfectly fine, if it didn't go off in some unhealthy directions (but I am not betting on that).
Add in indoctrination, racism, and Stockholm syndrome, and we get closer to the full spectrum of ... whatever the hell all this is.
tbh the other problem is they might only be fine with it because they feel like they have to, since they might be someone it was pushed onto as well
I actually sympathize with the woman who wanted to be badass but didn't feel fulfilled. I was a tomboy for most of my childhood, but during puberty, I realized that I actually really liked wearing dresses and being femme. I didn't dive head first into Christian gender roles. I came out as NB, changed my name & pronouns, and wore dresses. It ain't that hard.
Good for you!! Glad you found what makes you happy!
I've never seen you but I bet you fucking slay
being “feminine” is badass! badassery is a state of mind not an aesthetic!
Wait wait wait the way i went through the same??? I was really boyish and hated feminine traits until i discovered my identity as nonbinary now i present myself in a mix of feminine and masculine style. I used to have toxic views on femininity and women in general.
Femininity can be badass.
Tradwifery and Reactionary Femininity is toxic AF.
The aspects of cottagecore that feel like they come out of a Studio Ghibli movie are my favorites. Or out of a story with cute little animals living in mushrooms and having tea and stuff like that. No gender roles. Just everyone vibing with nature. I don’t necessarily long for it, but I do like the aesthetic and think it would be incredible to see irl
"I don't want your gender roles, I just want your fresh bread!"
- My husband buying a sourdough bread kit without having any idea how to bake.
maybe i just have severe brain rot but does some of this feel vaguely fetishy to anyone else? like the constant reinforcement of unquestioning obedience, serving someone who has more power, the fixation on pregnancy, ect.. like im not saying that these women are trying to make it that way but it low-key feels like they have some type of kink wrapped up in outdated gender norms. if anything it just feels off nonetheless.
Oh yeah, 100%. I’m scrolling through the comments since I noticed the same thing, and several other people have mentioned that too.
It's especially weird because I feel like housewives back in the actual 50's would never say that, because the 50's weren't actually like that. Like can you imagine Lucy in "I love Lucy" acting like this? Or any person in person saying that?
It's not even vauge tho the "taken in hand" thing is !daddydom stuff
Like listen, I used to be active in kink community, I'm a fan of Kat blaque, I like to play the brat, I still read this kind of erotica but I never understood this full-time obedience irl
But like also convincing yourself your kink is approved by your religion is cringe
There was an article in Bust magazine in like 2005 about the ways DD was anti feminist
This shouldn't surprise me at all
Not brainrot at all. Anyone who was around people or posts about kink/fetish lifestyles would instantly clock how close it is.
hot take: MOST hetnorm expectations are fetishy, they're just so normalised that people don't recognise this until you find a way to make the familiar strange
This is what not having p*rn on Tumblr is doing to these ladies. Someone introduce these people to safewords.
What do you mean?
clearly you haven't gotten to the nsfw tradwife imagines
Ah yes, porn, famously introducing people to safe sexual practices
@@yasmineh.1333 actually if we had better sex ed then porn wouldn't be as much of a problem. But for the rest of you guys it was just a joke. These Trad relationships are just terribly imbalanced, under consented D/s scene play that's not tagged right tbh.
it's back :3
with all of the tradwife and coquette stuff there is a romanticization of mental illness, like you said, but also there is a major romanticization of eating disorders, too. a lot of the stuff explored in this video reminds me a lot of pro ana tumblr and ed tumblr.
This!!! The skimpy meals, the thin pale dangly girl aesthetic almost, it all speaks very “you come here thin and conventionally attractive or we make you thin and conventionally attractive.”
...y'know, I remember when I was growing up, when I first started learning about sex, it was explained in a way that kind of made it sound like this was the way... it HAD to go? Sort of? Like... there were specific aspects of sex that were tied explicitly to one gender or the other, but it was Okay Actually, because being that gender meant that you would like it that way. If not now, then eventually. Sooner or later, You Will Want These Things.
And that scared the SHIT out of me as a young girl, because I couldn't think of anything I wanted less, but it sounded like this was Simply Part Of Growing Up and sooner or later I wouldn't have a choice about letting someone treat me this way or not. Because I was a girl, it was just my lot in life.
The asexual community saved me from losing my mind, because that was the first time I'd encountered people older than me saying 'It isn't an automatic part of growing up. Sex is something some people enjoy, but it's not actually REQUIRED. If you want to have sex at some point that's totally fine, but if you don't, _you don't have to.'_ The idea that I would never have to train myself to be okay with people touching me in ways I didn't want, or controlling me in ways I didn't like just to be normal was a huge fucking relief.
And then, later on, I learned that sex- even hetero sex- doesn't automatically have to look like this. Sure, this might be traditional, and it might be the way a lot of people like it, but being a woman doesn't automatically mean you're required to take the submissive roles. Some even prefer the woman to be dominant! (This was a huge fucking revelation at the time)
I guess the reason I'm thinking about it is just... I grew up thinking rules like this only applied to sex, and it still messed me up a little. If I grew up being told that this was supposed apply to _every aspect of my life as a female?_ I can't even imagine. Fucking terrifying.
Yeah, the assumption that everyone is allo is, I think, super damaging to young ace kids. Like you I was told I would eventually just... Want it, I guess, but I never did and I dreaded the thought of trying to force a relationship and I thought for a long time that I would have to eventually because well, that's just what you do. Then I found out about aro and ace people, and that you could just... Not do the thing. Like, that's an option. To just not. Which seems obvious as an adult, but as a kid it seems like the only option in life is to date and marry and fall in love and be attracted to people and have crushes on the cute boy band guys, and when you don't feel The Thing everyone else does, you start to wonder if something's messed up with you or even that everyone is actually lying and no one feels The Thing because you can't even conceive of how it would feel and in all honestly it sounds awful.
Sorry, that kinda got away from me, but the point is I totally hear you, and I felt much the same growing up.
THANK YOU FOR PUTTING MY THOUGHTS INTO WORDS!! I had a very similar experience growing up. I was told I had to be ready to give my body in order to keep my (expected) marriage afloat. That a man has needs and that he would leave me the second I did not fulfill them. That it was going to happen eventually. That I should be happy. That the only difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship was sex. I was so upset, hearing that made me feel like my personality, thoughts, and feelings were worth nothing compared to sex. I hated the idea of being expected, even obligated to put out. That I would have to give up my personal space, safety, and comfort in order to keep someone else physically or even emotionally satisfied (I still hate it). I suppressed any sort of sexual thoughts out of fear that I would fall into a situation like that.
It didn't help that I was raised on really shitty shows and movies that messed up my perception of how sex is for women (thanks dad). They usually portrayed sex as something the man enjoys, and something the woman has to be convinced to engage in. If the woman said no, it was seen as the end of the world, because why would a man spend time with a woman if he wasn't gonna screw her right??? Then there's the whole "women faking orgasm" thing that's just really messed up, which implies that sex is almost never enjoyable for anyone besides men. In fact, I was told multiple times that it's painful for women, that you just have to breathe and get through it.. and somehow I'm expected to not be terrified?
I've learned quite a bit since then, but I still have no experience in dating men. I'm still terrified of getting hurt, of my body being used like that.. but I'm less scared knowing that there's other people who feel the same way I do.
I might have written too much lol
Agree with all three of the comments above 👍 Couldn't have said it any better
Jesus that's horrifying, "you'll learn to like it"
Sounds incredibly molest-y who the hell would say that to a kid??? I'm so sorry you had to go through that
@@Homodemonit's terrifying, isn't it? Hell of a way to educate kids about their agency, their place in the world, and how their bodies work.
I love how tumblr decided to make blaze and it was unironically one of the best things they've done for the site in years
when a website actually does a good feature:
Best? Half the blazed posts are bad poetry or graphic porn
@@owo-ob3hz That’s the beauty of it
@@owo-ob3hz And? What else is Tumblr about. It’s amazing.
@@owo-ob3hz That is why it's good actually. Because it's haha funny.
It's horrifying yet fascinating to see this combination of catholic guilt + submission kink come together online
I know nothing about Catholicism but i wanna write a smut about it lmao
@@idonteatspiders2986 ew, don't. That's not only disrespectful to an entire group but these people populating these trad wife communities are really distressed and unwell at their core
@@idonteatspiders2986 Catholics have been getting off on the gore elements of Jesus' crucifixion since the whole thing started.
@@idonteatspiders2986 nah ignore the person above, you can write smut about whatever you want. Its called freedom of speech, and christians are not an oppressed group so poking fun at their stupid misogynistic beliefs is not gonna lead to actual harm against them. Jesus has a daddy dom kink dynamic with god anyway
@@botanicalitus4194 I mean I get what you're saying and I basically agree, but freedom of speech is not a good arguement here
I feel like a lot of these women are closeted BDSM enthusiasts, talking about being quiet and submissive, a lot of this reads like BDSM erotica its so funny
im a member of the coquette aesthetic community and from my experience it's very populated by wlw/nblw who want to reclaim hyper feminine expression but not for the male gaze or to conform to female gender roles. the community is FULL of white women who try to push the idea that only thin white women can be a part of the aesthetic but there are many groups that are very open and against this idea; also from what I know the aesthetic was also started by black femmes who wanted to embrace femininity despite society portraying them as more masculine then white women. in a way it is similar to the hyper feminine subculture of lolita in japan where femme individuals used their hyper feminine expression to push back against the gender roles placed upon them
This was the understanding I had from the videos by Nylijah Myeesa about Nymphet/Coquette and the way young women used it to reclaim girlhood and femininity and, well, Dolores Haze. It seems like there's the two sides of that, AND the tradwives who want to be a bit Creepy about it
thank you!! this is the best explanation of it i’ve seen yet
Someone tell Gabi Demartino
@@Venraven thank u for mentioning me!
….not me reading that as courgette aesthetic
I truly forget about the trad christian/tradfem/tradwife community on tumblr but remember they exist maybe every six months. Between the troll blogs and the clashing of being chronically online that requires being a regular tumblr user and.... Catholicism... truly creates the wildest takes ive seen in a while.
I was so used to only seeing dumb memes and gay fanart on Tumblr I went into shock seeing the trad catholic tag
There are feminist tradwives and i think thats my true self.
being catholic and a chronic tumblr user, it's really fun to see people in the tradwife/trad christian tags just assume you're either an agnostic shitposter whos really gay and needs saving or a pure holy and good catholic who now is here to save everyone else. them seeing people like me who is in the middle of the spectrum makes them basically combust
Go watch the Purity video by Belief It Or Not. I think you may find it cathartic.
it’s especially hard to process because like half of them are “dEeP sTaTe” conspiracy theorists. I have a catholic mutual who’s just a chill qu33r scene kid tho
"I don't want your gender roles I just want your fresh bread!" Is such a mood
Bread rolls, not gender rolls!
Gimme the little cottage and the cute chickens and the fresh bread. Hold the religious submission kink, thanks.
You have no idea how much that line spoke to my Eastern European soul
Great, now I have to clarify that when I say I wanna be a cottage core wife, I need to specify that I mean the bisexual in a poly relationship raising chickens and breaking bread in a hobbit house and only seeing people to play dnd once a week and not in a I belong to my husband let’s go to church kinda way.
I love this for you, I'm the Pansexual version!
@@Irongaze86 Maybe you should go mind your own business and let others be happy
@@Irongaze86 Shush. Go to sleep.
@@Irongaze86 stfu no one asked
@@Irongaze86 please live up to ur username and be silent
Just reading a tradwife post next to a onceler without acknowledging it…
You’re a real veteran
Seems Strange placed the onceler there herself to cover up the face of someone in a post on the dash
Okay but like the trad wife thing just seems like BDSM through a soft lens? The idea of obedience and doing everything for your man and waiting until he gets home smacks of pet play... I'm sure they'd be horrified with that connection but that's essentially what it is: a kink.
The awful cousin of BDSM.
@@Irongaze86 idk man, history is fuckin ugly and I don't wanna be raising kids to be the type of person existing back then. Maybe it worked in that Not Everyone Died way? Worked is so... Subjective
The one girl I knew who was big on the tradwife cottgecore shit was also into wild BDSM. Like just the craziest sex life I've seen from someone. I've been convinced since that everyone into that shit is either a boring republican or into insanely kinky shit behind the scenes. Hell, probably both.
The amount of times I've read the word ~ S A T I S F Y~ within the context of those posts does feel... Suggestive
I’m not a tradwife, but I wash dishes nightly as a nanny, and there’s nothing gentle and feminine about dishes and cleaning lol. You gotta put your elbow grease into it.
Like all misogynistic views of “the feminine,” reality is never what’s idealized or praised. The _performance_ of a specific version of femininity is the goal.
Cishet men want women to have long, beautiful hair. But they do not want any shedding, clogged drains, tolerating the time/energy for washing conditioning, drying, brushing, or styling long hair. Long hair getting laid on or frequently relegated to a bun/ponytail is also not acknowledged.
Cishet men want women to have even skin tone, no blemishes, long/dark eyelashes, sculpted cheekbones, and pink lips but they do not want women to wear makeup.
And the dream aesthetic is softly running water into a clean sink and a few moments spent gently passing sparkling white suds over already clean dishes. The reality of washing dishes is ugly rubber gloves, stuck on food, dirty dishwater, and a wet sponge.
Performance, not reality.
@@alexwyatt2911 wow man, nicely written!
@@alexwyatt2911 I was thinking the same thing about dishwashing! Yeah, a woman in a movie with perfectly manicured nails gently lifting a clean plate from sparkling clear water looks delicate and “feminine”, but have these people ever washed dishes in real life? It’s more like gross, unidentified food scraps floating in water and scrubbing a slimy plate with a discoloured sponge. Shows how these people aren’t actually housewives or homemakers, they’re just idealising the happy 1950s sitcom life. You can romanticise anything.
If you need elbow grease to wash dishes you're doing it wrong.
@Lily TK Omg you're absolutely right! They are not romantisizing the actual work women do. It's doing simple things and calling yourself a homemaker. Rich people core. They wouldn't last a day as a country farmwife from the 1910s
I'm so insulated from that part of tumblr I fully believed girlblogging was a tag funny trans women came up with because that's the only context I see it in
I feel like grandmacore is so highly varied, it’s can go from trad to kitsch, from heavily Christian overtones to thinly veiled sexual references, I feel like it’s a whole spectrum in itself.
"All babies are good babies"--but if your baby grows up to have a mind of her own, you'll reject her or pester her until to goes "no contact" with you.
"all babies are good babies because they can't think for themselves or disobey me yet"
All babies are good babies in theory, until they start needing to be taken care of as a full time job rather than a fantasy. It feels to me like a lot of conservative folks- particularly those who call themselves "pro life"- love the idea of babies, but hate actual babies, and the humans they grow up to be.
@@cadencenavigator958 I love babies so much that I am pro-choice because I want every baby to be wanted and loved
Ah yes, traditional marriage. I personally was sold off at age 14 for 12 cows and 20 bushels of grain. Great system.
Holy fuck. You must be rich.
I just gave my husband's mom some pickles and a quilt. He's 30, though.
Damn, are you made of gold or something? My great-grandma got sold for 2 cows (to be fair, great-grndpa wanted her oldest sister, but she wasn't available, so the deal was for the second-best option, but still, doubt he would have given more than 3)
damn thats a lotta cows!
@@Irongaze86 you do know that exchanging women for livestock is still a thing in many countries right?
as a cottage core fan, part of why I like it is not only the LGBT separatist vibe (I've done a lot of philosophy readings from the lesbian separatist movement, as has my ex girlfriend who is a lesbian separatist still) its the idea of a community. I grew up Mormon (cringe I know) and even if it was essentially church sanctioned communal living, that's what it felt like. everyone cooked for each other and everyone knew who could sew and mend clothes, cookies were a common bartering chip. when I left the church, they acted like I'd died and aggressively mourned me and my family for almost a year. they weren't all good people mind you, I left because they were often violently racist and homophobic (the Mormon church also still practices modern colonialism by sending aggressively missionaries into low income communities and underprivileged countries for the sake of conversion) I don't regret leaving in the slightest, and I wouldn't have been happy among the women who I know that stayed who are often trad wives. I want to, and have begun to, take my positive memories of that community and build it again, with my rag tag group of LGBT trail mix friends. we learn how to cook and bake, we learn to sew and crochet, we learn cultural practices from each other and each other's families, I've even started keeping chickens and sharing eggs in exchange for access to my neighbors vegetable garden.
cottage core doesn't have to be a haven for colonial trad Christians. we just have to make it the way we want it to be.
Love the Abra pfp.
The ‘coquette’ tag is my nemesis. I had to unfollow SO many tags because I kept getting these weird posts on my dash that were tagged with tags I followed along with shit like ‘coquette’, ‘nymphette’, ‘girlblogger’, etc. The worst culprits were in the ‘Jennifer’s Body’ tag. I followed that tag because I’m a lesbian who loves horror movies, not because I want to see sad Lana Del Rey lyrics! Edit: also a lot of ED shit! Like A LOT.
You are right about the ED shit, I originally had tumblr just for that, and yeah the whole coquette tag is just it with better hidden suffering (I follow coquette blogs, I don't know how I ended up here, I'm nodding but not unfollowing)
the coquette/nymphette/dollette tag was originally made for people who wanted to blog using aesthetics from lolita (the book) so avoid all that shit like its a plague
Coquette is the bane of my existence as someone who likes ballet. Like I just wanna see people rant about Giselle not aesthetic borderline ED posts
Blocking the tag Lana del Rey has increased my enjoyment of using Tumblr immensely
Nymphette has been the bane of mine (whether tagged by tradwife kinksters or ddlg kinksters) bc of my participation in lolita fashion.
Like, all I wanna do is look at cute coords my guy, not to scroll across thinly veiled age and/or submission play on my dash
@@alitaniak7404 As a fellow lolita and as a mythology nerd, it's a double bane for me. When I first heard of the "nymphette" aesthetic, I foolishly thought it was about looking like a pretty ethereal forest lady. You can imagine my disappointment and disgust when I found out what it actually is lol
I relate to the lana duel rey tag part so hardddd
@@alitaniak7404 as someone who is into both lolita fashion and PURELY the fashion elements of coquette, I feel both of you.
These kinds of communities are the reason that, in the wake of the Roe v Wade overturning, blue checkmarks on Twitter are like “Women who wear pretty dresses need to be burned at the stake!”
the ed girlies on twitter are OBSESSED with the whole waif coquette lana del rey stuff its def not a coincidence
Yes, as a queer, I love grandmacore. Mostly cuz it started with making my own things (crochet, knit). And also it gives me assurance that old age is not as dreadful as I thought it'd be.
I didn't even know grandmacore was a thing but it's definitely what I'm going through at the moment. My grandmother literally was a tailor and I'm just discovering that's what I want to do with my life lol. Outside of the aesthetic this has became a lifestyle.
I always love visiting my grandma
Her house is full of antique furniture and paintings and knickknacks.
It's a joy waiting every year for fall to come, so we can gather the walnuts that fall from her tree.
My grandma is a second mother to me, and I will cherish her.
Having a black cat to pet is a neat bonus!
I need to lean into grandmacore. Crocheted afghans for everyone.
@@kenna176 reject modernity, return to grandma
I'm kinda looking forward to being a weird old lady...I aspire to be like my grandma: collecting beanie babies and watching a lot of old TV/ The Price Is Right and of course the best of it hoarding candy in my purse
10:20 I CANT FOCUS ON THE TEXT YOURE READING WHEN I CAN SEE HIM STANDING THERE
as the writer of the washing the dishes post (porcelaineyess) i just wanna say how much I'm totally fangirling over this, commend everyone on their replies on tumblr, and note that the only way i could do any chores for a while was to satirize the tradwife lifestyle and post about it so that was born from it
I actually experience nesting fever a lot. I get the sudden urge to go outside and gather sticks and leaves to go and make a nest for my eggs. Sometimes I also just make a mound of mud and rotting vegetation like a crocodile or will bury them in the sand like a turtle. Occasionally, I will also become a brood parasite like a cuckoo or cowbird and will place my eggs into the nest of another and let them raise my children. But that’s rare. And by eggs I of course mean the thousands of plastic multicolored Easter eggs that I have been collecting since childhood.
your comment made my day
to be fair.. nesting fever is an actual thing pregnant women experience shortly before giving birth.
Quality post
Sometimes I think about that one tumblr post that said it's very likely these kinds of "Every woman should want to be submissive to her husband and love it because I do!" Very Obviously have some kind of dom/sub fetish and 1. Think it's universal, and 2. Don't realise it, and will never admit that they said fetish.
And 3. Will engage in some extremely dangerous behaviour because they don't have the proper mechanisms to create the limits that come with acknowledging they have a kink
@@sophiatrocentraisin for real. you can serve your husband but y'all need a safeword, a discussion of limits, and aftercare
I heard "nesting fever" and the absolute worst part of my brain jumped to ABO
That coquette stuff reminds me a Japanese fashion magazine called Larme, the overarching theme was girly and sweet with a touch of poison. Lots of soft but not pastel pinks and delicate femininity with barely concealed self destructive tendencies and the feeling that something darkly banal and exploitative was happening behind the camera.
That's what I recall about it anyway, I haven't seen it since around 2018 so might be misremembering it.
It’s ironic how lgbtq+ ppl reclaimed cottagecore and have the complete opposite ideals associated with the dream. Like being a servant to your husband in just a different setting is not a dream, Chloe.
Its the spirit of rebellion and reframing the view on what that time period does to people and the ways one can make do to live in such a time for me.
HA, happy to chime in to fully agree with you and lend my credentials as a queer enby chloe who is still on tumblr and has never understood the cottagecore thing!
@Keebs honestly valid
I know one trans woman who does actually want to be a 24/7 sub to a man, especially if he is her husband.
Yes, she does have a lot of religious trauma and is still christian.
I'm 90% sure this tradwive stuff is just an extreme form of bdsm for people who don't know they have a fetish.
This is pretty astute.
Like fr they're all like I need a husband to tell me what to do at all times it's just radiates bottom energy, it's being a sub but with a conservative twist
I'm more like 98% sure
nah its fasc propaganda
@@lil_weasel219 why not both gif
This is a right wing extremism pipeline. It’s no different from how counterculture normalises fringe conservative norms amongst most cis men
I think that at the bottom of most of the "weird" tumblr communities, there's just a lot of trauma. And then tumblr is the perfect place to cope with it in unhealthy ways.
As a trans person who follows a lot of trans people, I've seen "girlblogging" used in a whole new way. Trans women tend to use it to blog about...loving how they are a girl. I didn't even know the other connotations of girlblogging until now tbh.
Trans women using “girl blogging” that way is so wholesome and heartwarming
Awww that's so sweet! Idk why I love that so much. Go them.
ive seen a post that went like nymphet/radfem/lana del rey girlies most of the time talk about how girlhood and womanhood is a source of pain to them and how that pain is what defines womanhood to them, while almost all trans women always talk about womanhood as something that has brought so much joy upon their lives. i think about that post a lot.
I love the idea of two girls blogging about loving being girls and meaning two completely different things because one is trans and the other is manipulative
@@tivaspotato being afab and socialised as a girl will give you much more experience with misogyny and sexualisation than someone amab who’s been socialised as a boy, even if they later realised they were a woman. the post you’re recounting is an extremely surface-level take.
When I'm gushing over cottagecore, I'm always imaging myself as a witch in the woods.
See YOU get what it's all about!!
this. that aesthetic and the darker versions of it are pure escapism.
I kinda have the same thing, only more as a wizard in his hamlet. But I mean, fuck it, I might mix it up with some fuckin' rad witch vibes, hecc conformity. Like, I just want a garden and my cat as my sole responsibilities, and to have internet in my cottage.
oh definitely this. i want to be a little mushroom witch making tea and caring for my garden and maybe handing out helpful tinctures to anyone who happens to stumble across my cottage. that's what life's about.
That's more strega
"nesting fever" is just my inner magpie emerging whenever i pass a flea market
i swear i saw a tumblr blaze post of Bingus recently. made the feature worth it all by itself.
pretty sure if i say i wanna be a submissive boywife to my husband they won't be as positive as they claim to be
This just makes me think of the time that a girl I know from high school that is the daughter of a pastor posted, “If god didn’t send you, I’m unavailable.” And it is still one of the funniest fucking things I’ve ever read. Problem being, it was completely sincere, but this is something I would say ironically
T o T
I dont see why it's funny, I'm confused
@@monicacreator3168 I'm guessing she means if you're not the same religion as her, she's not interested? Also, depending on what flavor of Christianity she's a part of it *could* refer to the way people are supposed to approach her romantically?
@@kai_fatallysapphic yeah, I know that, what I'm confused is, why is it funny?
@@monicacreator3168 because its completely irreverent. The fact that the original poster meant it seriously makes it rife for ironic meming. If you remember the "ideal make body" guy his bullshit was laughed at in culture for years.
@@monicacreator3168 oh, okay sorry. I don't know if I can explain why it's funny? As someone who was raised christian but isn't anymore, I think it's hilarious. I guess I find it funny because of who I imagine is saying it, if you don't have a similar experience to me that could be why it isn't funny to you idk 🤷
I'll be honest, as much as the tradwife lifestyle seems like a kink thing, the post at 0:38 kind of made me 'get it'. For a lot of people the idea of a family means permanence, security, meaningful purpose, and being part of something that is bigger than yourself and will outlive you. In short it promises all the things that many people don't get from working under the precarious conditions of modern neoliberal capitalism, where people feel more and more disposable and exploited, where we find no fulfilment in our work and feel like our jobs provide no benefit to the world, where we are obliged to act out enthusiasm we don't feel for the 'vision' and 'purpose' of brands and managers, and where we get bombarded with fake authenticity propoganda trying to convince us that the workplaces where we are disposable parts are just as important an fulfilling as friends an family. Sure, the fantasy isn't very realistic and ignores all the tensions that exist in even very happy families, but most fantasies aren't realistic and now I kind of see where the tradwife crowd is coming from.
This "emotionally validate your man in every way! Also make sure your makeup is always good and have lots of babies!" is clearly some kind of kink masquerading as chaste religious duty.
When i was 14 they said emotions were for girls now I'm 24 and a tumblr tradwife is telling me doing dishes is also just for girls, lol gender roles are kinda hilarious when you're not worried about following them.
I had to pause the video and yell "InNATeLY!?" incredulously to myself for a few minutes after hearing that quote. Like the idea that washing dishes is *innately* tied to being a woman... What did women do before we invented dishes? Is a man who lives on his own more feminine because he has to do his own dishes? What do they even think innate means!?
I see a gender role and immediately say “what the fuck is this shit?” Gender roles are so insane when you think about them for 5 seconds.
I feel like Cottage Core for a lot of communities just innately hits the idea of self sufficiency in a world where you are forced to rely on outside factors so much that it feels like you have no control over your life, and the idea behind having a cottage with animals, away from civilisation fulfills that desire of being in control of your own life.
This is pretty much it, I feel.
There is this feeling in most places, I think, that the world is very impersonal and very dependent on technology, build in ways that does not push for communities, and that is super isolating. Cottagecore cuts against that, and sort of envisions a place where you are more connected to the earth and enriched by the world around you, instead of isolated by it.
It has broad appeal to a whole lot of people for that reason.
Marie Antoinette had a whole village built just to escape into the countryside because of how awful and stressful royalty life was. Cottagecore is anything but new, even back in those days they romanticized the supposedly calm life of a farmer and also imagined it in pretty dresses not at all suited for a farm.
As someone who has grown up in Eastern Europe in a small town where farm animals were a common sight and going to your grandparents' village every few weeks or so was the thing to do, cottagecore is not associated with farm life to me. Instead, I imagine it as working from home as a writer or some freelance online job and living in a house in a quiet valley with pets and maybe a goat or chicken you can basically raise as a pet without needing to leave it in the squalor. You can wear home made gowns with lace gloves everywhere, you can walk in the fresh air without having to be hit with 20 different shades of manure stench by the time you reach the end of the yard, and it's just you and your gay wife because I can't imagine a guy in that setting, neither do I think any of the original cottagecore fantasies were in any way related to a man being there.
@@toxihex876 I mean personally speaking my cottage core fantasy would involve me living in a big manor at the beach or at a lake, with a few pets and my partner near a small town.
you know essentially being the eccentric rich person of a village.
@@keinkanal7382 ah, the "are they a vampire" kind. I can see it being a thing if you're to actually live the life depicted in cottagecore photographs, and you'd absolutely need to be at least somewhat wealthy to achieve it, but most people think going off grid is going to be the same as or similar to what you see in the timelines of TH-camrs who live that way. You can definitely learn to do it and try it, but it would absolutely be way more accurate to cottagecore pictures if you have a lot of money to pour into recreating it and living it.
@@toxihex876 like most things that are hyper-aestheticized, you hit the nail on the head. with cottagecore it's especially ironic though, given as it's a direct reaction to capitalism
The good babies are pets. Simply put. My kitten Mothman may wake up and choose violence every single day but she’s still my sweet baby
"I don't want your gender rolls I want fresh bread..." Is probably the greatest pun I've heard this year
Instead of using audible, go to your public library and get an audiobook from them! It's free, and you can come back months or even years later to sign it out again! Also it supports your public library!
You can even do it using an app (like Libby) without needing to leave your home!
Well said!
I used libby from the start of the pandemic and I havent stopped! Listening to audiobooks on my commute has let me read sooooo sosososo much more than I thought I could! Support your local library!
Doesn’t it have my semi obscure indie fantasy though?
Shhhh don’t tell them or all the audiobooks will be rented out (jk jk except not really jk)
okay does anyone else remember the "art hoe" aesthetic on tumblr? i feel like it was big around 2016/17 and it was a lot of van gogh and peaches and those rectangular backpacks ? bc i feel like cottagecore has some art hoe roots and i've never seen anyone talk about the connection
life rlly does imitate art
This was jarring to read but you're so right... you may be the only person who has managed 2 put this together but they absolutely both have that same soft, outdoorsy, feminine (but not Glam) thing going on and I feel like analyzing the overlap there a bit more would be interesting
art-hoe baggins
With all the Tumblr aesthetics coming back/accelerated trend cycles I'm surprised that the art hoe aesthetic is skipped most of the time since that was the blueprint for cottagecore/80s/90s trends more recently
everyone got mad at art hoe because it was stolen from poc (see "The whitewashing of the 'art hoe' movement")
There’s no problem with wanting to become a house wife, but that doesn’t mean you should be some mindless slave to your husband or anything. You still need the communication and your own identity
accidentally got a little drunk watching this and simultaneously had so many realizations abt my own trans experience whilst the tumblr ecosystem breakthrough was occurring. needless to say i am going to have the most insane headache.
Honestly, I think Lilibethrose (or whatever the blog’s name was) deserves more credit. I think it’s nice that she acknowledged how it’s her choice, and she doesn’t project those expectations on other women, etc. Reminds me of the “Christian girl autumn” lady that turned out to be really lovely, and donated to help the trans kids who made her a meme
I think she might be a kink blog that is absolutely 100% devoted to the kayfabe of actually being a 50’s housewife instead of somebody for who it’s a fantasy for
@@phoenixfritzinger9185 I also thought it might be someone roleplaying, but I didn’t think about the kink part. I just assumed it was some weird social experiment or something
You win funniest possible use of kayfabe ever
@@annabelletittel8615 thanks, I think!
One of the tags was “obey him” and I don’t even read it but all I could think of was the “obey me” manga. Now in my mind they’re forever associated with a story about holding people hostage and gay sex.
And the video game where a bunch of demons are the submissive ones to the player (implied to be a women)
@@personnemay2692 The MC of Obey Me! is intentionally gender neutral. Like, I get that they sometimes play more feminine with MC (and at least back when I played regularly a couple events had a few instances that were actually more masc leaning) but they're gender neutral for the express purpose of the player playing as whatever gender they want to.
Thank you for reminding me, now I can't stop thinking of the fuckin pens 😭😭😭😭
I kept misreading it as Obey Me too and giving myself mental whiplash in confusion XD I'm glad I'm not the only one
@@thirdprince4028 yea I know that's why I left some ambiguity. I think it's awsome by the way.
you did it! you broke the tumblr ecosystem down to its bare essentials!!
I can shed some light on the nymphet/dollete/coquette group and their associations with a sexualized image of girlhood. A large portion of the people under these tags are using it as a trauma coping thing, people who were abused as young girls or sexualized too early, the kind of kid who was constantly told to cover up because [insert grown man who shouldn't be worried about a tween's bra strap] was coming over. There's also a lot of overlap with Lolita (the book, not the fashion) and people who relate to Delores and her story. Basically it's a microculture surrounding reclaiming the feminine childhood that was stolen by abuse or being forced into sexual contexts as a kid.
thank youuu idk how people don’t understand this !!
Sounds like a specific subset of traumacore
I highly recommend the podcast series about Lolita by Jamie Loftus for a more thorough look at this.
@@notebeans3134 they very much overlap
Yeah, used to be really into the coquette tag because my father was trash and so an older man taking care of me was... really nice sounding to my 14 yo brain. Which did put me on a lot of groomers' paths. Thankfully none of them kidnapped me but I was putting myself in a lot of danger because I was ✨traumatised✨. Still into the aesthetic and still into Lolita as a gut wrenching book (funnily enough, reading the book is what made me get out of that space), but now with a much deeper understanding of what was going on in my mind and in the community and how to deal with all the emotions and stuff
In my opinion, wanting to do "traditional feminine" things isn't bad, it's when you essentialize it, say it's inherent to women, and that all women should do it, that's the problem. It's fine to want these things, it's just weird to bring gender into it. In my opinion, this dynamic is not limited to women, and nor should it be. Wanting to be the one who stays home and does the dishes and cleaning is not inherently something only girls can do, not at all. The wanting to be submissive to your partner isn't limited to just girls as well-dom/sub and kink is a very queer thing a lot of times, and it's okay to want that too-even if I find it concerning to want 24/7, tbh.
Again, it's just this idea that this is how things SHOULD be, instead of just one way you can choose to live your life, and tying it to gender that's the problem.
CottageCore SexyMen:
Hagrid
Beorn
Tom Bombadil
Radagast
Dopey, Grumpy, Sneezy, Sleepy, Bashful, Happy & Doc
Frodo
Bilbo
Sam
Yeah, you may be right about that
This, so much this
I mean, the reason why it's gendered is that their experience is gendered. We can't expect a 100%-never-even-thought-different straight woman to put a man in that role if She feels to belong in It.
It's "natural" to them.
And to be fair, going into evolutionary biology it was more common in the past for a reason, "house duties" can be kept up while doing child-rearing, during pregnancy and the following months, and yadayadayada.
Does this mean that only women can do it and that they must do it? No, it's just how ancient humans likely worked most of the time because it was more efficient.
The issue is projecting that unto... Well, every modern human being living in a society that isn't a fucking prehistoric hunter-scavanger tribe lol
Very well said
Something else interesting is that the coquette/girlblogging side of Tumblr is also intertwined with edblr and bipolar tumblr, which means theres probably some overlap between the tradwives and edblr.
which are all linked to the bizarre Brooklyn/redscare/Substack/"vibe shift" scene
There is very much so
Edblr? Like eating disorder?
@@jojol.2630 yeah, i.e thin trad white girl taken to its logical extreme
true! all going back to this idealised conception of femininity
so happy I've finally found community in Tumblr vets in their mid to late twenties with some sort of superwholock past who have just chilled out entirely and now observe other communities on Tumblr for scientific whimsy
It's worth mentioning that there is a wave of younger people (mid-late teens I think) that are coming to Tumblr from TikTok
It's funny because they don't realize that tumblr doesn't censor people for saying words like kill/die. I've also seen posts like "reposting, hopefully the tumblr algorithm picks it up this time!" even though... there really isn't an algorithm on tumblr unless you tag stuff.
I’ve been seeing the “I used to be a feminist and could never have imagined I’d be a conservative tradwife now but now I know this is the right path” (or something to that effect) sentiment going around lately in conservative circles and the terminology they’re using (like that blogger with “bad ass babe” and unironically “girl boss”)(not even girlboss, girl boss) makes me think it’s literally fake. As if they’re trying to give weight to their argument that this is the “right lifestyle” by saying they used to be a certain way when in fact they never were or their change of heart had nothing to do with personal choice (familial pressure, religious pressure, economic opportunism [I saw this one woman selling nft’s by doing this I’m not kidding], conversion-therapy-type tactics, etc.)
It wouldn't be the first time conservatives tried the "I'm one of you"/"I used to be one of you" schtick
I think stability is definitely a component tbh, but the type of housewife stuff in the video is NOT generally included in common folk's idea of a housewife. This reads as kinky to me. I'd love to be a housewife (I want to be able to run the house, but it likely won't happen for a long while), but if these folks think the common thing for housewives back in the day was to be 100% submissive 100% of the time they're sorely mistaken. There's a reason housewives are stereotypically naggy.
i think the term for it is astroturfing?
@@Singinghomealone bingo bango!
Similar to r/WalkAway, which is literally 90% fake conservatives roleplaying as “ex-democrats” and 10% “I used to be a Democrat but then a coworker told me his pronouns!” Aka pieces of sh- who are already Nazi-level right wings but didn’t know it.
i feel like the true center of that chart would be “just girly things” bc of its capacity to be “emo girl edgy” and “latte top bun conservative” and is all over the place with being ironically and genuinely co-opted
you are literally a genius
the tradwives read as a bunch of people who are convinced that their kink has to be everyone else's kink.
As a queer man I low key feel like I kind of missed out on the era of cleaning the house all day, taking Obetrol in the morning (Google what was in that lol) and barbiturates at night, and just focusing on making other people happy. I’m just sick of being stuck between masculine gender roles I can never fulfill and feminine gender roles that are inaccessible to me. I know how problematic it is but I can’t help but view going to dinner parties with the Joneses and looking pretty for a masculine husband and not having to worry about making money or having a career with envy.
If its any comfort to you, this is not anywhere close to what its like to live as a woman, simply a romanticization of the ideal feminine
I keep waiting for the moment where the blogs acknowledge that they are functionally just D/S kink blogs, but their lack of self-awareness is outstanding. I kinda suspect that a few of them are fully aware of this, and literally are just writing out their fantasies of being a brainwashed tradwife.
I mean, roleplay blogs are a cornerstone of tumblr
I hope a few of them are actually just memeing on it tbh.
You're giving me ideas. I think I'll start one of those blogs lol
they could never admit, because sexuality and kinks are "bad" - they will never make the connection because of it
Its spiritual abuse. They have been growned into beliving that this is what god wants of woman. they aren't writing fatalities of being brainwashed, they are actually brainwashed.
People seem so used to bdsm they cant seem to see abusive power dynamics without sexualising it and acting like there's nothing wrong.
this is an actual problem. its actual serious sexism and abusiveness. Yet because these woman are on tumblr talking about "how great it is for woman to do what their role given by god is" rather then in a specific compound bound group like the FLDS and are just telling their daughters this to grown them into being submisive to the old guy they'll marry them off too, then suddenly its seen as somehow less bad and serious because "well its sexism and spiritual abuse, but its aesthetic posts on tumblr and them talking about how woman should serve their husbands so now its just kinky"
i haven’t been on tumblr much since the Erotica Exodus but a part of me wonders whether an increase of conservatives on tumblr may have been at least partially caused by the porn purge
I went back on there and to my surprise a lot of the people i died to follow are still posting, they just movies their more NSFW art elsewhere. Honestly i was never super into tumblr but the vibe is just different, it’s the only social media site that isn’t trying to be tik tok and doesn’t leave me anxious and depressed, it’s just art and memes
i like this theory. I also followed the exodus.
Which is pretty ironic since all of this submissive tradwife stuff is some heavy unacknowledged kink
i dont think it increased the conservatives; hey were always there, think TERFs and ace-exclusionists . But i think it seems like there are more because of how many non-conservatives left.
"I don't want your traditional gender roles, I just want your bread damn it!" - I love it.
I have just ended a relationship with a catholic who definitely wanted me to be like this. He’d say stuff like “back when people actually cared, it wasn’t uncommon for women to be married and have children at 18” and “the whole point of marriage is to have children and the point of dating is to get married, so if you don’t want children then you should live a ‘consecrated single life’”. He broke up with me saying that he doesn’t think he would be the best husband for me. We were in high school when he told me most of this. He thinks that women shouldn’t have skirts above their knees, and has even criticized what I wore for being too revealing because my bra strap was visible.
Mate, no collar bones in my good christian school
I became a housewife with no children begrudgingly (by disability) and while I fulfill some stereotypes (I bake, cook, am fairly handy, sew, etc.) of a "tradwife", I'm not white, I'm in no way conservative in politics, appearance, or decor, I definitely don't sit back and quietly let my husband do whatever, I'm not Christian, and I'm not tidy. One of the things I've found among people who are into the "tradfam" structure is the fact that they are simply naïve or ignorant to what is really needed to live that actual lifestyle - the men who want a "tradwife" can't afford to keep a stay at home mom and multiple children, and many of the girls and women are sold on this idealized "tradwife" "cottagecore" "tradfem" vision and then they get out in the real world and that's not what they find. I am tremendously lucky that my husband's income is able to sustain us and we do not struggle (largely because we do not have kids), but I know that is not the case for everyone.
exactly, there is nothing dainty or delicate about the job of a stay at home wife or mom. It requires a lot of hard work, unless you're rich enough to afford help
You make me think of my mom. She ended up becoming a stay-at-home mom due to a series of injuries and medical issues. It's been nice seeing her recover recently, she can finally jump up and down with joy.
But due to COVID, and her preferred place of work being a daycare, she's unlikely to go to work again any time soon.
"The girls are very much on tumblr, along with the sorta-girls and the former girls." God you're so right
ColeyDoesThings did a video called “the fandom pipeline” where she connected a lot of the internet’s most prominent fandoms and, Ms. Æons, I think that you could do something similar with the many sides of tumblr
8:14 after doing dishes as a job for 8 years, There is nothing feminine about dipping your hands into a soapy food stew and dozens of dirty dishes by your side, for hours at a time lol
Hello Father Strange. My long son and I are pleased to see you on this fine Monday morning.
thanks
“I don’t want your gender roles I just want your fresh bread” SENT me - every time I come back to this channel I’m always delighted by the chaos I find - I hope you have a great day
Hahaha this is your reminder that "domestic discipline" and "taken in hand" means their husband beats them. Best case scenario they're into submission in the BDSM sense except of course, liking kinky sex is UnGodly. Very common scenario, it's full on self-blaming victimization.
That's the problem with saying it's just a kink because a kink implies consensual when this is the complete opposite. Even if someone is into kink that involves physical risks, it's completely different from dv from an abusive husband. These people have usually been groomed from childhood to think this is the only way to live, and they have to do it regardless if they actually like it. It makes sense they would have Tumblr posts for trad wives because it's easier to live that life if they constantly look at media glorifying it.
@@abbymaddox7616 yes! I was trying to express why calling this a kink isn't right, and it's because they aren't really... Doing this because they want to. They're doing this because they believe it's the only way to live, which is a very dangerous mindset.
Came for the shit talking of tradwives, stayed for the descent into descriptions of female sociopathy. Good work as always!