Indeed. I love wearing earbuds, especially when listening to something that was recorded in surround sound. I just get lost in the great experience of it. I also love how earbuds help me block out distractions. Sometimes, I wear them even when nothing is playing in them, just to help me concentrate.
I was thinking the same thing, something along the lines of; God, this looks exhausting. I'm glad I'm not in that call. Even like a 30 second conversation, my mind is somewhere else half of the time if it is not interesting.
ENFPs can just look like they are still into it. I bet they're catching slivers of the conversation but are thinking about other things through the boring bits lol. That's what I do. I lose interest after like 10 seconds into someone else talking if it's not something I care to hear about. But politeness makes me try to keep up appearances.
@@joseramirez-hh2sw It's an unconscious habit at this point. I haven't thought about it deeply as yet. My guess is out of courtesy 🤷♀️. I even know the keyboard shortcut to temporarily un-mute if I need to say something quickly.
@@BrownSugarWorld that's petty unique. Like to me, and not in a disrespectful way, it seems kinda pointless? Cause it doesnt seem to have a very apparent use. But ngl I kinda like/get interested in ppl because of stuff like this, small seemingly random gestures. It's kinda funny and I think it's pretty cool. Lol
@@joseramirez-hh2sw I don't think it's entirely useless. The idea is you don't want the background noise to disturb or distract the others conversations. But I also do understand why some prefer to keep thier mics on because if they want to say something they don't want to consciously think of having to turn something on or off. But I suppose people do things that don't make sense or seem useless to others.
(Look into the cognitive functions. The -A and -T designations don't exist in MBTI.) (Also, you might like Enneagram if you like MBTI - that's what all the 5w4 and 5w6 stuff was about.) ☺️
I'm an INTJ who has started to date an ENFP and I can agree with your comments. I was quite taken aback by the chemistry at first because I had never experienced it before.
ohh i envy you. i (enfp) have a esfp mom and istj dad and this is NOT easy!!!! NOT at all!!! we all love eachother but non of us can get along and understand eachother.
So many truths here. I am INTJ and my wife is ENFP the compatibility, synergies and struggles described here are all spot on for the pairing. I love these type of videos (type interviews) keep them coming.
I'm an INFP but I can be very social, I'm like an ENFP with my bubblyness but I run out of social energy much faster, if i go to a party I have sm fun but after it I need multiple days to recharge, do you think that ENFP's are so helpful to your introvertedness bc they don't need to recharge? I want to make friends with INTJ's as I already have many ENFP friends but no INTJ ones. Do you get along with INFP's?
Thanks for gathering 3 of my favorite INTJs for an interesting video. Your correct in calling them the real deal. Special thanks for the great reveal that Michael now has a channel of his own.
My pleasure! The INTJs in the panel were some of my favorite as well. Michael has been creating videos for a long time, so all his content will be top-notch :D They take a month to make but they are so worth the wait.
Something that AsuraPsych said that I would make an addendum, he said that ENFPs like to change and INTJs don't. But I'd say ENFPs don't like to change, they like changes. INTJs do actually like to change themselves to great pains, they just don't like changes. I'd say ENFPs are much more resistant to compromise their own quirks and child-like ideals, while INTJs feel forced to grow up, in the end they hardly do, they are both stubborn childs. I don't think ENFPs grow all that much, they become more themselves and better at what they do, but in terms of how to navigate their inadequacies I think after they fall in them they only try to ferret around them and lie to themselves as to how they got there to begin with. INTJs are much more like to openly recognize their inadequacies and try to deal with them. They address them then if it fails they turtle up for ages, until they muster the psychological strenght to try again. In a sense ENFPs lies are much more healthy to themselves, as INTJs prefer truth which will make them self-conscious in face of their inadequacies.
this is not true. i wholeheartedly disagree with your theory that enfp's "don't grow that much" and are hesitant to engage in self improvement. in fact, id say this is one of their strongest areas, as they are highly introspective and take copious amounts of time to process their feelings, their effect on others, and are always seeking to improve themselves (thanks in part to tertiary Te). i have spent every day of my life looking inwards at areas that i need to improve on, and i make it a goal to come to terms with my shadow side, the darker parts of me that i know i must work through, change, and come out better on the other side of. the "truth" that you speak of is something i seek out every day, as do many other enfp's i know. we don't want things sugar coated, included out flaws. please do not make such generalizations about an entire type of people- there are many of us who do not fit that judgment.
@@Julsies7 Generalizations are what they are. They are made for most cases. I'm not criticizing you and not trying to be condescending, but do an exercise: if you are able to step out of your confort zone, if you can accept criticism and if you avoid the hard truths even in self-development. We all can do surface level developments but can we really solve deep inadequacies? This is coming from a person that has struggled with my own troubles and has lived with an ENFP that is very stubburn, prideful and defensive to any criticism. This is the point where I'd abandon framing this in MBTI and would go on to DSM notions of narcisism which in my esteemation can often include ENFPs and INTJs. When I argue ENFPs don't grow I'm mainly trying to create a dichotomy where INTJs grow and ENFPs don't and vice versa. These things are hard to touch on because words are oversimplistic. I'd say this: People are like plants, some are cactus some are maple trees, others are vegetables; we all grow according to where the sun it and our water supply but we never really abandon our basic nature (in this example species). My point is that, in comparison, INTJs are much more likely to improve their skill set and engage in different types of types of activities, while ENFPs are much less likely to explore outside their confort zone in this regard. I could say the opposite in regards to dealing with emotional, social and activities that trigger bigger emotional ranges where ENFPs are more likely to thrive in comparison to INTJs. This is a generalization, but you have to realize that I can't write an endless text covering all possible existent ideosyncrasis. Communication has to serve a simplification role, otherwise there is no practicability to it.
@@brain0nfire your judgement is based on one person so it would be more factual to say it that way rather than base your words and thought process on all ENFP's. I could say the same thing thinking about one INFJ that I know. That's really subjective and inaccurate.
INTJs are the most independent of all 16 types and they think in terms of everything has room for improvement ENFPs are dynamic, enthusiastic and highly skilled with people ,affirming and gregarious they have ability to see the potential in people and be positive about them they are keenly aware with what is happening with those around them .
49:00 the whole talk about ENFP’s showing their dark side to only people they trust with those emotions. I am super open with people around me, I have been since birth basically, and it’s kind of a need to share things. As I grew older and had stuff I perhaps didn’t want to share with family or friends, this caused something like ‘selective over sharing’. When I had feelings or thoughts I didn’t want to share, I would write them down and over share about things I wanted to instead. My ISTJ dad would call me out for talking too much about things that ‘didn’t add value to my life’ or superficial things. My ESFP mom knew I had that need to over share since I was little and during the years I was still figuring it out I would distance myself from her and just talk much less. She thought I was sad or alone, but I had these emotions and feelings I couldn’t share with them and I knew that if I spent time with them I wouldn’t be in the mindset to talk about something else. For years people who didn’t know me would think that I just thought of fun stuff and was airheaded, ENFP’s are so deep and connected to their feelings, if they aren’t like that it’s because they don’t feel comfortable sharing that with you. Also it’s really easy to talk about the stuff you hide from everyone with complete strangers, which I guess kinda contradicts in a way. I’ve told stories about my body image issues and other issues to complete strangers because there is a type of safety in knowing that they don’t know you or you don’t know them.
I think an allure of the INTJ to the ENFP that wasn’t touched upon is the fact that since they have a tendency to be more stoic and not express intense emotion, it’s actually extremely comforting to us in a sense that it allows the ENFP to use their NE and examine them from their own lense. The mystery of what they’re feeling or thinking is one that continues to allure ENFP, in a way that it’s like they constantly are something to figure out, because we are so different in the ways we express ourselves, yet so similar in so many ways. This constant figuring outing of eachother helps to keep the allure of the other person, not only that, but the fact that they wouldn’t even need that allure, because ENFP will admire all their strengths because they excel where we struggle. especially when sensing is s low, we have trouble looking at our surroundings and just noticing these things. Also, I tend to get very uncomfortable when people express very strong emotion and would prefer to talk about the abstract and be playful and have intellectual conversation. I think Im very affected by strong emotion so when someone has such control over their emotion it allows me to think more clearly, and I don’t have to be so emotionally empathetic which can be very draining at times. I think the INTJ is such a comforting and refreshing match made in heaven for ENFP. It’s such a weird magnetic thing, loved listening.
Itnj here, when I was 15yr I made a plan to retire when I was 30yr. I retired at 28yr. I saved a lot of money and ate a lot of hot dogs, and learn how to cook a lot of cheap meals. My highest rent was $350. I now own 3 homes outright and rent 2 of them out.
and i (enfp) am 20 yo and this is 3rd year i'm planning to study to get into medical school but still at the same time i'm too busy with writing new stories (that non of them will be finished) anb planning for making a youtube channel and fun videos. and studying music instruments and watching series and making friends.... so yeah!!! that studying plan doesn't go well again for sure XD LOL
These are the kinds of comments that make me want to cry when people say intj and enfp work well together. Are we the same species? I have no idea how much money is in my bank account right now. I am trying to get better at finances but it makes me want to howl with frustration. Your life now sounds ok, but I also love food...
Yes, blame is a huuuuggge unspoken problem among a lot of ENFP's. It's due to our low Si which gets us into all sorts of messes in life, and our Ne which brainstorms all the millions of ways we have been wronged. Instead of Fi empathizing with others, that empathy turns inward and turns into self-pity.
I'm an ENFP and I used to empathize with people greatly until my late twenties and had to learn to walk away from my entire family (for good reasons) and then it just has spiraled ever since- into walking away from everyone very quickly. I still am trying to figure out how to stop doing it
I just found out about the MBIT and started digging in, Never felt this relatable since long I am an INTJ, and coincidently a close & old friend of mine came out to be an ENFP
Joyce, Thanks for the sparkle and shine! Smart and fun. A perfect panel. I’m an INTJ guy who really loves ENFP women. Your talk really tonic and totally made my day.
I'm a female INTj and this whole converstion is just adorable. The ENFPs I like are wonderful but I agree with Chris, I would personally like to keep down the chaos as enough of that's in my life already. But ENFPs have been consistently smart, grounded, forthright and honest and I like that.
You can get a lot of MBTI typing information from someone by the way their eyes look and the person’s demeanor. Look how bright-eyed Heidi looks, and always smiling. In fact, notice how both ENFPs are smiling so freaking much when others are talking. INTJs look badass with a stern resting look. INFJs eyes tend to have wide separation.
Seriously intj here and stone faced through all emotions. When crying on the inside I let out a small smirk. When happy on the inside I let out a smaller smirk
This is funny Simply because I'm an INTJ when I'm having a very fun conversation with someone my face will light up like a Christmas tree but when I'm on my own or just focusing on something I look very Stern and I am starting to think I have a resting bitch face because when I'm blank my mom things I'm mad
Depends on your enneagram and iv Like enfp 5s 4s and some 6s once in awhile 7s would Just have blank face or stern sometimes a resting bee face And being sp iv
I need an ENFP in my life. Also, 13:46 is so perfectly descriptive of me. I can refine like a genius, but generating the original idea requires so much energy!
I just want to say thank you to Heidi. As an enfp i have benefited greatly from watching your videos. Thanks to you i now feel like i am free to be myself. Thank you so much!
@14:09 agreed, but the tension that DOES exist is the INTJ will want to actually FINISH the project, while the ENFP doesn't even seem to have respect for the need for the project to be finished - like most things, if this is consciously understood between the two, it will probably help things work out - the INTJ needs to accept that they will be responsible for the follow thru, and the ENFP needs to show some respect and appreciation for what the INTJ is doing actually finishing the project
I am a INTJ and when chris talked about how he develops his ideas. So this is what i do and teachers don’t understand. For example my English teacher keeps getting annoyed at me for not planning and im like... but my plan is in my head! And they don’t understand it and it annoys me so much because i am developing my work as i go rather than planning it which may seem wierd for a ni but i can see my idea and what i want to do more clearly that way.
I love watching INTJ and ENFP together. The INTJ stare Michael and Linsey and the mento in a bottle of coke ENFP . I didn’t realize how special INTJ were. As a ENFP I found INTJ really scary, they don’t appear to fall for my charm offensive this makes me up my charm offensive and of course it falls flat on its face as only authenticity strikes a cord. This may sound completely manipulative but for those that fall for this so what? they will never become super super close. I try and always lead with love but INTJ need / demand authenticity and this means they will always get the best of me.
I get what you're talking about here... I know it's an old comment and you may even have even change your mind during this time but it may actually help :") I'm an enfp also and just broke up with and intj... Yeah they always hold things to their hearts and yet they read me like an open book it's like my fi is offended lol. But the thing is this always happenes... I've seen multiple intj s in my life and it seems like they always have an air of mystery around them... never showing you the truth or in the healthiest way, "all of it". But the closer they are to someone the more they open up. It takes a LONG time but pacience is key and hey... us enfps can kinda read their fi child intuitively and understand them :") it kinda makes them feel understood and gives them space to open up but you should never really force them to do so. I miss the chemistry and the good times I had with mine. I don't understand why people say intjs are robots... they are really deep and committed in terms of emotions and it's a blessibg that I could see such a thing for myself. Too bad he was an unhealthy intj and things just didn't work out between us. I hope he's doing ok :")
You guys might want to look into CS Joseph's content. One thing unique about his system is the "attitude" of the cognitive functions. If you numbered the slots from the top down, the odd-numbered functions would have an *optimistic* attitude; whereas the even-numbered functions would have a *pessimistic* attitude. That would explain why ENFP's optimistic Te seeks a reality check from INTJ's pessimistic Te. He also calls the 2nd and 3rd functions the Parent and Child functions instead of the Auxiliary and Tertiary functions. This seems more accurate to me because the family dynamic really does seem to be their. The second function acts as our inner parent, while the third function acts as our inner child. Also I noticed that his Typegrid seems to be represented in this video: ENFPs as "Starter" types; INTJs as "Finisher" types, ENFPs with an "Informative" interaction style; INTJs with a "Direct" interactive style, etc. You can get a free copy of the Typegrid at his website if you're interested.
That's interesting. As INTJ I feel like a finisher type but I can't ever really start, plus I'm also too negative. I need to have people in my life that are the opposite to be my complementary.
I think that XNXJ are definetely a good option to ENFPs. The "J" makes them practical and organized, and the "N" makes them really interesting, open-minded and funny. My father is an ENTJ and I love his humour, his cold love and his loyalty, and also the help he brings to others. I have an ENFJ friend and an ENFJ sister and they're warm and empathetic but in a direct way. INFJs are comprehensive and really loving, they're like a hug to my soul. But I don't know any INTJs :(
😍🥰. I related on all points, on both sides. My best friend for the last 38 years is an ENFP and our relationship is on point with the points here. We are goofy together and she is so good at bringing out my emotion (as are INFPs). And the getting each other so naturally is the best!
They may be an INTJ with a lot of NF type friends. I know personally when I am speaking to these types my language tends to become more colourful and expressive.
True, true. I am male but I have highly developed Fi with having two best friends that are female INFP and ISFP. So I use adorable from personal experience Lol.
one thing that really resonated with me. I wonder if all NeSi need to take the opportunity to explore what all life has to offer sample everything and come to find what suits them best. Anyone else think about this with NP types in general?
It's that victim mentality that makes me stay away from enfps in general, so thank you for a different perspective. I'm trying to be more open minded towards them
I liked what Heidi said about roles. It's nice because then there are no arguments about creative decisions within each role. You largely just have to accept one another's contributions
@Ali Malik Yeah but's more common with us. We never know we are doing it, admittedly in photos I was always smiling and another INTJ family friend I had only did it rarely and was generally happy. It varies from person to person obviously. But around ENFPs and ENTPs the RBF goes away more. The same people in that INTJ panel here are smiling way more in this video.
I think I used to did that, when I talk to my friend she sometimes go : Why are you staring at me / looking at me like that. And I would go : LIKE WHAT??? ( in my mind it was like, hey silly it just my eyes are taking pictures in while my brain is trying to think about what you said, how unnormal can the look possibly be). Because the whole situation of zoom is going on so, I think you can spot it clearer in person. - Have a video recording of an INTJ talking with another person you might be able to see that, I’ve seen some video like that. The “death stare” doesn’t happen so frequently though, to me its like a “day dream” reaction.
the disapearing things is so true. also with intps. i feel so comfortable with my intp and intj friends bcz i don't need to be sorry for disapearing. they do the same too and this is so normal in our relationship.
Haha yes can definitely relate to my fellow INTJ guy there with the project keeping him up all night. It feels so good to get in that flow! I actually crave it sometimes.
The longest, and happiest relationship I've been in ( and as of this comment is still in ) is with my girlfriend who's an intj We've been together 14 years now, and I love that she doesn't need me at all, she could move out tomorrow and fully support herself, she CHOOSES to be with me. She also reminds me to come back to reality when I've drifted too far and I add help encourage her to allow some things to go unplanned and my enfp extrovert breaks the barrier when we meet new people allowing her to open up, I'm rambling but the ways in which we help each other navigate this life with a little less struggle are endless
My take away/thoughts from the talk. 1. The ENFP is like a little fuzzy pet of ideas, that the INTJ can extract ideas from. But since ENFP's don't mind being thought of as silly little pets, because we actually are silly fuzzy pets, and we own it, we actually kinda appreciate INTJ's willingness to finish our projects for us in a perfectionistic way. As long as they keep the spirit of our ideas alive. Kidding aside, INTJ do the dirty work of details for us, so perhaps the pet analogy does work. You clean up our messes for us. Thanks INTJ's. 2. ENFP's have frenetic, impulsive energy, that can lead to great accomplishments but usually doesn't. INTJ's have well thought out plans that usually don't get started. Imagine someone, having both initiative and following through with perfectionistic tendencies. That's the potential magic of the ENFP/INTJ pairing. 3. What would be the dynamics of an INFJ/ENTP team? My guess is it would seem like letting the mad hatter steer the wagon, and the passenger debating the pro/cons of changing direction as they head off the cliff. No disrespect to the INFJ's, I'm not saying ENFP's aren't mad hatters, but we aren't trying to steer the wagon either in that situation. 3. ENTP/INTJ is another meeting of the extroverted/introverted intuitive minds. However as both are in the thinking realm, who is gonna pick up the hammer and start knocking down the walls? Also, do we really need to prove who is smarter? 4. ENFP/INFJ just stick to counselling please. 5. ENFP-Fi and INTJ-Te. Having both Fi and Te present at high levels in a brainstorming session is priceless. ENFP's can learn to develop Te to a higher degree (ENFP's 3rd function), and produce better, more realistic plans from associations with INTJ's. INTJ's can potentially develop their 3rd function, Fi from interacting with the ENFP. Both types are seen as wacky or arrogant misfits. However, INTJ's probably realize the depth of the ENFP more than other types. Thanks. ENFP's can see the hidden glee within the INTJ and since we also have Fi, we don't ask questions like "are you upset?" or say "look alive", etc which can be really annoying to the INTJ, who is actually a fuzzy little pet covered in layer of "I'm going blend in since people misjudge me". Telling the truth isn't easy, and few people appreciate useful information. ENFP's don't usually react well to criticism, but INTJ's honest criticism doesn't rub us the wrong way at all, because it's logical, usually doesn't conflict with our values, and makes sense. In fact, I treasure that part of the INTJ. INTJ's can feel comfortable being themselves around ENFP's. Finally neglected Se, being the last function for the INTJ is activated from the spontaneous nature of the ENFP. I prefer conversing with INTJ's over any other type in terms of wit, humour, and intellectual discussion because there is a little intellectual sparring that goes on.
Interesting conversation! I feel like there was a huge stereotype on the relationship part. Enfps are very loyal And can stay in a longterm relationship, if they love you. If they don’t they’ll move away. They’re not timewasters. ENFP’s won’t string you along for awhile to have as a ‘friend’ while having a crush on you.
On the issue of INTJ's aloofness: I've always considered myself the prototypical teacher's pet, which repeatedly puts me in the position of having my time and energies co-opted by others (on the job, in relationships). I also tend to fascinate a lot of people. I'm aloof because I don't have the time or energy to interact with everyone who would eventually want a piece of me.
Fi repulsion. YAS!!! I sorta feel bad when I do this, but at the same time I can't allow someone that flicks the switch to have any influence in my life.
This I get. I've had it with several people in middle school and separated myself from them (I didn't know I was doing it at the time). Now that I know what it is I see it in a lot of things. What's Even funnier is last night I was reading a comic and I looked at 1 of the characters for the 1st time and I could immediately tell that he is gonna be a major problem and probably was a murderer ( The title indicated the plot had something to do with murder) And that even if he wasn't he was gonna be someone that we weren't gonna like at all.
Also though, I really intensely dislike people who dislike me. I don't need another reason, one of my core values is I deserve respect, lose sight of that and I lose respect for you.
I don't think any of the INTJs really hit on it, but there is one thing that I think is a very core issue when it comes to understanding a lot of things about us, and the best way I can think of to put it is this: If we have a disagreement about something, and the INTJ says something like, "I've really thought this through, and I'm 99% sure I'm right" - You should defer to them. Some people will think that sounds very arrogant. And it can lead to conflict. But it's also true, and it is the source of many of the other phenomena discussed in this video. If you don't respect that core ability or talent of the INTJ, your relationship is going to go sideways. And the situation will almost certainly turn out poorly, because the INTJ was almost certainly right. So everybody's miserable and the project's a disaster, because your ego wouldn't let you admit they were right. Dealing with that situation constantly explains a lot of INTJ behavior.
How can you talk about ego when you say "If an INTJ says they're right you should defer to them" yeah right, there's nothing egotistical about that at all. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that statement smacks of narcissm. If someone said that to me I'd think they were a narcissist. The least you can do is keep an open mind and be prepared to answer questions, no matter how right you think you may be.
@@aaronfrancis3498 You don’t understand. The INTJ won’t take that kind of position unless they’re extremely certain they’re right. I’m not talking about things that are pure opinion, such as what music you like best. I’m talking about things that are objectively true or false, better or worse. Like the decision of which car to buy, as a simple example.
Heidi(ENFP) try to keep her energy but inside her mind she was like " Gosh! I'm tired! But, I HAVE TO KEEP GOING! These people are Soo AMAZING!" i'm a ENFP🙈🙈🙈🙈
Maybe it's because I'm a 5w6? But I still can't figure out why everyone says ENFPs and INTJs understand each other so well, because I don't feel like I've ever had that experience with an ENFP. I think ENFPs are more accepting of INTJs than most other people are, but I definitely don't understand them and I have also had an ENFP tell me she didn't understand an INTJ ex (and I know she didn't understand me, either). Also, their 'P' can be maddening. Like the one who showed up late. If we're dating and you're always late, we're not going to last.
Hey, I am a 5w6 INTJ too, and base on my experience, when I first met my ENFP friend, I found him annoying, loud, and clingy. At that time I didn't thought of him as a friend, but simply someone I sat next to during class, eventually we talked about different topics and his responses fascinated me, and to a degree, it was similar to how my world view is. To my surpise, we became really close friends and now, we're both working on our capstone thesis together.
What an great chat! I'm an ENTJ but always test as INTJ. There's so much crossover. Having said that, the question on why we are private made me think why I am that way myself. Though multiple things like independence, conserving energy, and getting things done (Te) play a role, I think the bottom line is that if there is no purpose or need to share something, we won't. It's like asking "what's the point of sharing this? Will any important end result change?" If answer is no, we probably won't share. Btw interesting to see all INTJs as 5w4. I'm a verified 1w9.
Ah yes all these videos always make me necro the crap put of people, but whatever. In terms of my feelings, I just don't see a reason to share them out in the wild. I'm hellbent on solving problems and sharing my feelings is counterproductive. I don't need sympathy from people, I need them to cooperate to the fullest extent of their ability and when their expertise has reached its limit, step aside for the next person to do their job. How we feel about this issue is a conversation for what happens when everything has been solved and I have time to reflect. Never really before, all it does is make us more likely to act rashly and disrupts the unbiased state of our minds. Also, i see much of my negative emotion as a problem to be solved. If I don't like X, do Y to change X. Now that X is gone so is the feeling that it gave rise to, and now I am free and clear to move on to problems A, B, and, C. I really don't need to concern myself with how I felt at all because doing Y resolved the issue already, and definitely don't have the energy to stress over stuff that's already been handled when there are still so many things to consider.
Linda Pinda, an ENFP, has an amazing video about why she likes INTJs. I found it rather moving. I have a hard time understanding how people like her think, but I'm glad they are around. I'm the sort of person who ENFPs outsource editing to. I love editing. Sometimes, I even suggest replacement text for whole paragraphs. When it comes to my own writing, I do most of my rough draft work in my head, then sit down and write the final draft. I spend most of my writing time researching, brainstorming, and telling the story to myself and very little of the time actually typing it up. Some people I've collaborated with have gotten frustrated with my percieved lack of progress, then they are amazed when I hand them my final draft way before the deadline while they are still working on early drafts. My wife and I sometimes daydream together about possible things we could do in the future. Even if we never wind up trying it, it's so fun to imagine it. When we are stressed or really upset, Michelle, we sometimes go into 'robot' mode. We use that cold exterior thing as a sort of armor in a subconcious effort to protect ourselves from additional hurt. Our more emotional creative side comes out when we are relaxed or are being made to feel safe to do so by someone like an enfp. I don't know about others, but I'm uncomfortable with sharing my inner self with others because I'm afraid the other people will tease me or musunderstand me. I was unmercifully teased as a kid, so I wonder if some of our way we are is caused by how we grew up rather than just how our brains are wired. The intjs on this panel really are relatable to me.
As an ENFP where do I find myself a INTJ?! I want to blast into their room where theyre working on their super genius plans all alone and give them all my positive energy and love
Well, intjs entrance....... Silence(if i felt any extra energy from them i will knox who is faking), Enfps entrance 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶A party started (now i know no one id faking) Good job. Me:Intj My wife:Enfp.
@37 ish Heidi - I organize my day laying in bed in the morning and then go and do something completely different and it all works out......sort of. Never plan more that a few hours in advance but I have to fit in a more organized world and so a few fixed “times” is helpful. How can you organize any future because when you get there it may not want it any more. Is that enfp ish 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Thanks everyone, this was fun to observe. Have MBTI gotten more popular in the last 20 years? I swear we didn't go into it all that much when I took a couple of psych classes around 2000. I did the test a couple of times with friends as our prof gave us photo copies of the test to do for fun. These were first years psych classes so that may be why we didn't learn more but there also was not this much information on sites like TH-cam. Also, most of the people speaking about MBTI on TH-cam are under a certain age. I'm just curious and a bit disappointed I didn't read more about it before.
30 years ago I was an INTJ now I am ENFP and I ...er... we... watched this alone. and enjoyed the yyz of it all. cute awkward reminded me of kids in toronto..3 year follow up due? cheers from cali smile
Wow this is such a great video. I don't know if I'm trying to deny that I'm 100% intj or be soo content about it ha! because so many things are accurate in this video as well especially reacting and connecting with the ENFP...yesss🤘😏🤔
I'll describe my INTJ process by the most recent example, one that happened today in fact. I have some tech savvy, but not a great deal. Anyway, I'm still trying to refine my understanding of computers, and as it's such a changing field, even more the difficulty achieving something of a good reliance on what I know. Anyway, I have started to come to the conclusion that portable hard drives are unreliable, as it seems the only ones I have failing are those, while my non-portables are much, much more reliable. I got into portables in the first place, largely because I have only so many power switches, and portables typically use just a USB connection for power off the computer. So I have a portable which, of course, is doing the typical giving me problems. My strategy had been to put downloads on there, and then later send those downloads, if I wanted to keep them, to the non-portable drive. I do this also so I don't have to power up the non-portable very much. But the problem with the portable is that I have also been using it to store data. You might as well use that big space for some storage, right? So what I found out today, is that even with data as new as a month, even though that data is perfectly fine on this questionable drive, it doesn't copy all the files to my non-portable very well, losing maybe 5% of the data in the copy. So I was very unsure what to do, and I wrote my sister an email about this. I tend to think this portable is kaput, especially if it continues to transfer files to the other drive this poorly (however I am long style formatting that portable now). So the question bugging me, regardless if I'm using the current portable, or a new non-portable as my download drive, should I continue to use my download drive as doing some storage as well? I really was unsure what to do, and then it struck me, after opening up like that to use my download drive just for downloads, and also to get probably as small a non-portable as I can get, when this portable gives it up for sure. I've had this sort of breakthrough a number of times earlier in my life, when just talking the problem over with somebody ignoring me (and since my sister hasn't responded yet to my email, it amounts to that) gets my head to make a decisive decision, but even more than that, gets me over the hump to see what was stymying me and to see clearly what to do. Often, we INTJ's may take a rather long time to break through the problem bugging us, but I have found times where the brain thinks much clearer and quicker if the problem is put to somebody else, even if they're ignoring you or cannot respond to you yet. It's almost as if the knowledge that will satisfy you, will stay elusive for quite a while, until you open up to somebody else. It sort of doesn't make sense, but what happens, I think, is that you are sort of stuck thinking within yourself at times, and opening up to somebody else, gets your brain to think outside it's normal zone, as though you're anticipating their possible objections, and so you're sort of fooled into thinking outside your usual self that way.
Im enfp working on project with an intj we honestly constantly pick up where the other lacks and are of high value to eachother for this reason , something i have reviewed is i like having a plan when i travel bit also to keep space open for spontaneity allowing for experiences to enrich the journey
@25:00 Heidi: why do you think INTJs tend to be "better" people than ENFPs? If Fi is second for ENFPs, why would Fi being third for INTJs make them "better" people because of it?
ENFP here; I think she means that INTJs make most decisions from their Te which usually means they are trying to do the best for the most people first. We ENFPs try to do what Joyce noted which is we are hoping to realize our Fi externally first; then after that we can get to worst works best for most people. We see them as way more selfless too because they can override their Fi better than we can to achieve that result for everyone.
25:00. This is so person to person dependent. Many factors weigh in more (1:01:57 👍 - I’ve known several INTJ to be stuck in this loop during stress and they need time and hard truth to sort through it) or as equally effective such as morals, background, maturity, mental health, empathy, SES, & more, imho.
@@mialindvall Hhahaha "forskning" där också! :D Ja men det kan ta sin tid, om man inte bara tar saker att face value!! Jag är fortfarande inte bestämt, till exempel, gällande om jag är 4w5 eller 5w4 i Enneagram. Det är underbart när något, speciellt sådant här, verkligen klickar och makes sense!
@@JonasAnandaKristiansson Du vet den där känslan när man bara neeej det där är ju jag 🙈. Den var det. Var lite lurigt iom att båda har Ni och sedan är rätt balanserade när det gäller thinking och feeling. Finns ju så mycket mer också men svårt gå in på här 😊
All 3 INTJs are using earphones.
This is no coincidence.
Yess. Te controlling the background noise! 🙂 ensuring the sound quality and that there's no feedback happening
@@JoyceMeng22 exactly!
Using (the build-in) audioboxes make for terrible echo
Sitting right next to my two pairs of neatly tied Apple headphones 👀not a coincidence at all
Indeed. I love wearing earbuds, especially when listening to something that was recorded in surround sound. I just get lost in the great experience of it. I also love how earbuds help me block out distractions. Sometimes, I wear them even when nothing is playing in them, just to help me concentrate.
I liked to see how INTJs grew tired as the video progresses while the ENFPs kept their energy pretty much constant.
I was thinking the same thing, something along the lines of; God, this looks exhausting. I'm glad I'm not in that call. Even like a 30 second conversation, my mind is somewhere else half of the time if it is not interesting.
@Hello There we are the exact same
INFJ. Let's be real. An hour is exhausting to introverts.
ENFPs can just look like they are still into it. I bet they're catching slivers of the conversation but are thinking about other things through the boring bits lol. That's what I do. I lose interest after like 10 seconds into someone else talking if it's not something I care to hear about. But politeness makes me try to keep up appearances.
It was a 1:07:09 video - - I had to schedule 20 minute intervals over two days, then power through the last 27:09 minutes on the third day.
I’m an INTJ dad to an ENFP son. He’s amazing. I absolutely love his creative, innocent view of the world.
This comment warms my INTJ heart.
@@combat_tournamentIt really does.
Aaaaw ❤ And I am an ENFP mom to an INTJ son! He is brilliant in every way and an inspiration for his powerful focus and determination.❤
Hi sir, i would love to know what makes you decide on having a family?
I love how the INTJs mute themselves when they’re not speaking, I (also INTJ) do this at Zoom meetings. 😅😂
But why? I mean I get it but why?
Wait a minute people don’t mute themselves when they aren’t talking?.??.?
@@joseramirez-hh2sw It's an unconscious habit at this point. I haven't thought about it deeply as yet. My guess is out of courtesy 🤷♀️. I even know the keyboard shortcut to temporarily un-mute if I need to say something quickly.
@@BrownSugarWorld that's petty unique. Like to me, and not in a disrespectful way, it seems kinda pointless? Cause it doesnt seem to have a very apparent use. But ngl I kinda like/get interested in ppl because of stuff like this, small seemingly random gestures. It's kinda funny and I think it's pretty cool. Lol
@@joseramirez-hh2sw I don't think it's entirely useless. The idea is you don't want the background noise to disturb or distract the others conversations. But I also do understand why some prefer to keep thier mics on because if they want to say something they don't want to consciously think of having to turn something on or off. But I suppose people do things that don't make sense or seem useless to others.
I love seeing the intj's deathstare and the enfp's smiles and emotional responses at the same time. Also intj and my bff is enfp
I am an INTJ-A and I have been married to my ENFP wife for 41 years now. Still love her as much today as 41 years ago. This pairing definitely works.
Congrats! Do you think you have became more ENFP and she more INTJ after being 41 years together?
@@MAGNETO-i1i Yes, kind of met in the middle on most things..
@@pastorwatkins5749 do you have any advice to give for a young intj enfp couple?
Congrats! In your opinion, what was the most significant thing each of you learned / are learning in your marriage, in terms of type?
(Look into the cognitive functions. The -A and -T designations don't exist in MBTI.) (Also, you might like Enneagram if you like MBTI - that's what all the 5w4 and 5w6 stuff was about.) ☺️
Enfp: I don't WANT to know what happens in five years.
Intjs: 🤔
I’m an ENFP and I have no INTJs in my life, but watching this, I am falling IN LOVE with this dynamic!
ENFPs are the best... I would be a sad kind of human without them (INTJ)
Your words touched me. (ENFP) That's soo sweet of you to say!! (Although, I know you're not trying to be "sweet"....just real) haha.
INTJs are the best!! The future is a more organized & planned out place due to INTJs' vision & disaster diversion! Love & respect INTJs! 💗💪
I'm an INTJ who has started to date an ENFP and I can agree with your comments. I was quite taken aback by the chemistry at first because I had never experienced it before.
The life of me (intj), my mom (enfp), and my dad (intj) in an hour.
ohh i envy you. i (enfp) have a esfp mom and istj dad and this is NOT easy!!!! NOT at all!!! we all love eachother but non of us can get along and understand eachother.
As an ENFP I can confidently say that I LOVE INFJs AND INTJs ENDLESSLY THEYRE IMMORTALLY INTERESTING TO ME
I work best in chaos bc my mind is chaos -ENFP
Naa caos is important for having fun(or just do dumb things) but when I have to debate(or work/study/think) I prefer tranquility
So many truths here. I am INTJ and my wife is ENFP the compatibility, synergies and struggles described here are all spot on for the pairing. I love these type of videos (type interviews) keep them coming.
So many INTJs and ENFPs are together! What a wonderful dynamic. Good to know the video resonated with you. I'm glad you liked it :D 💚
INTJ and ENFP is the best duo, period. 😄 ENFPs bring joy to my world plus they are open-minded. (intj myself)
A true match from heaven :P
I'm an INFP but I can be very social, I'm like an ENFP with my bubblyness but I run out of social energy much faster, if i go to a party I have sm fun but after it I need multiple days to recharge, do you think that ENFP's are so helpful to your introvertedness bc they don't need to recharge? I want to make friends with INTJ's as I already have many ENFP friends but no INTJ ones. Do you get along with INFP's?
@@fionareynolds1703 I'm INTJ, and my best friend is INFP. It works
@@fionareynolds1703 ENFP definitely need to recharge. I am less social and recharge more than my INFP bff or my ISFP sibling.
I am a giggling mess. This is has given me so much life. INTJ's you are my pair for life.
ENFP here and I love both INTJs and INFJs so much, It takes one joke or deep convo and boom im hooked...
Thanks for gathering 3 of my favorite INTJs for an interesting video. Your correct in calling them the real deal. Special thanks for the great reveal that Michael now has a channel of his own.
My pleasure! The INTJs in the panel were some of my favorite as well. Michael has been creating videos for a long time, so all his content will be top-notch :D They take a month to make but they are so worth the wait.
Omg is this like a cat and dog meeting? 😆
😂😂😂
I would love to be an enfp in a room full of intj
Omg yesssss
The intjs probably wouldn't like it tho
As an intj I don't like the idea of being in a room full of intjs...
Heidi: “I know what is going thru their heads”
Me (INTJ): “YoU dOn’T kNoW wHaT I’m ThInKiNg AbOuT lOlOloLolOLoLoLolOl”
Something that AsuraPsych said that I would make an addendum, he said that ENFPs like to change and INTJs don't. But I'd say ENFPs don't like to change, they like changes. INTJs do actually like to change themselves to great pains, they just don't like changes. I'd say ENFPs are much more resistant to compromise their own quirks and child-like ideals, while INTJs feel forced to grow up, in the end they hardly do, they are both stubborn childs. I don't think ENFPs grow all that much, they become more themselves and better at what they do, but in terms of how to navigate their inadequacies I think after they fall in them they only try to ferret around them and lie to themselves as to how they got there to begin with. INTJs are much more like to openly recognize their inadequacies and try to deal with them. They address them then if it fails they turtle up for ages, until they muster the psychological strenght to try again. In a sense ENFPs lies are much more healthy to themselves, as INTJs prefer truth which will make them self-conscious in face of their inadequacies.
internal judgement functions are less adaptive and external ones are more adaptive?
@@PowerRedBullTypology I'd say so, yes.
this is not true. i wholeheartedly disagree with your theory that enfp's "don't grow that much" and are hesitant to engage in self improvement. in fact, id say this is one of their strongest areas, as they are highly introspective and take copious amounts of time to process their feelings, their effect on others, and are always seeking to improve themselves (thanks in part to tertiary Te). i have spent every day of my life looking inwards at areas that i need to improve on, and i make it a goal to come to terms with my shadow side, the darker parts of me that i know i must work through, change, and come out better on the other side of. the "truth" that you speak of is something i seek out every day, as do many other enfp's i know. we don't want things sugar coated, included out flaws. please do not make such generalizations about an entire type of people- there are many of us who do not fit that judgment.
@@Julsies7 Generalizations are what they are. They are made for most cases. I'm not criticizing you and not trying to be condescending, but do an exercise: if you are able to step out of your confort zone, if you can accept criticism and if you avoid the hard truths even in self-development. We all can do surface level developments but can we really solve deep inadequacies? This is coming from a person that has struggled with my own troubles and has lived with an ENFP that is very stubburn, prideful and defensive to any criticism.
This is the point where I'd abandon framing this in MBTI and would go on to DSM notions of narcisism which in my esteemation can often include ENFPs and INTJs.
When I argue ENFPs don't grow I'm mainly trying to create a dichotomy where INTJs grow and ENFPs don't and vice versa. These things are hard to touch on because words are oversimplistic. I'd say this: People are like plants, some are cactus some are maple trees, others are vegetables; we all grow according to where the sun it and our water supply but we never really abandon our basic nature (in this example species).
My point is that, in comparison, INTJs are much more likely to improve their skill set and engage in different types of types of activities, while ENFPs are much less likely to explore outside their confort zone in this regard. I could say the opposite in regards to dealing with emotional, social and activities that trigger bigger emotional ranges where ENFPs are more likely to thrive in comparison to INTJs. This is a generalization, but you have to realize that I can't write an endless text covering all possible existent ideosyncrasis. Communication has to serve a simplification role, otherwise there is no practicability to it.
@@brain0nfire your judgement is based on one person so it would be more factual to say it that way rather than base your words and thought process on all ENFP's. I could say the same thing thinking about one INFJ that I know.
That's really subjective and inaccurate.
INTJs are the most independent of all 16 types and they think in terms of everything has room for improvement ENFPs are dynamic, enthusiastic and highly skilled with people ,affirming and gregarious they have ability to see the potential in people and be positive about them they are keenly aware with what is happening with those around them .
49:00 the whole talk about ENFP’s showing their dark side to only people they trust with those emotions. I am super open with people around me, I have been since birth basically, and it’s kind of a need to share things. As I grew older and had stuff I perhaps didn’t want to share with family or friends, this caused something like ‘selective over sharing’. When I had feelings or thoughts I didn’t want to share, I would write them down and over share about things I wanted to instead.
My ISTJ dad would call me out for talking too much about things that ‘didn’t add value to my life’ or superficial things. My ESFP mom knew I had that need to over share since I was little and during the years I was still figuring it out I would distance myself from her and just talk much less. She thought I was sad or alone, but I had these emotions and feelings I couldn’t share with them and I knew that if I spent time with them I wouldn’t be in the mindset to talk about something else.
For years people who didn’t know me would think that I just thought of fun stuff and was airheaded, ENFP’s are so deep and connected to their feelings, if they aren’t like that it’s because they don’t feel comfortable sharing that with you.
Also it’s really easy to talk about the stuff you hide from everyone with complete strangers, which I guess kinda contradicts in a way. I’ve told stories about my body image issues and other issues to complete strangers because there is a type of safety in knowing that they don’t know you or you don’t know them.
💯
I think an allure of the INTJ to the ENFP that wasn’t touched upon is the fact that since they have a tendency to be more stoic and not express intense emotion, it’s actually extremely comforting to us in a sense that it allows the ENFP to use their NE and examine them from their own lense. The mystery of what they’re feeling or thinking is one that continues to allure ENFP, in a way that it’s like they constantly are something to figure out, because we are so different in the ways we express ourselves, yet so similar in so many ways. This constant figuring outing of eachother helps to keep the allure of the other person, not only that, but the fact that they wouldn’t even need that allure, because ENFP will admire all their strengths because they excel where we struggle. especially when sensing is s low, we have trouble looking at our surroundings and just noticing these things. Also, I tend to get very uncomfortable when people express very strong emotion and would prefer to talk about the abstract and be playful and have intellectual conversation. I think Im very affected by strong emotion so when someone has such control over their emotion it allows me to think more clearly, and I don’t have to be so emotionally empathetic which can be very draining at times. I think the INTJ is such a comforting and refreshing match made in heaven for ENFP. It’s such a weird magnetic thing, loved listening.
Big hello to Heidi. Love your book ENFP survival guide. I appreciated that you delved deep into when ENFPs go dark.
Itnj here, when I was 15yr I made a plan to retire when I was 30yr. I retired at 28yr.
I saved a lot of money and ate a lot of hot dogs, and learn how to cook a lot of cheap meals. My highest rent was $350.
I now own 3 homes outright and rent 2 of them out.
and i (enfp) am 20 yo and this is 3rd year i'm planning to study to get into medical school but still at the same time i'm too busy with writing new stories (that non of them will be finished) anb planning for making a youtube channel and fun videos. and studying music instruments and watching series and making friends.... so yeah!!! that studying plan doesn't go well again for sure XD LOL
Good job dude I wish I had the sense to have done this
intj, started business at 13 2 years ago started dropshipping 18 now making 250k a year passive
Beautiful. I made a plan at 15 to be president at 35. I'm 55 and still not president.
These are the kinds of comments that make me want to cry when people say intj and enfp work well together. Are we the same species? I have no idea how much money is in my bank account right now. I am trying to get better at finances but it makes me want to howl with frustration. Your life now sounds ok, but I also love food...
As an intj I truly enjoyed watching this video I love how the enfp Smiles with their eyes it means they are genuine
Yes, blame is a huuuuggge unspoken problem among a lot of ENFP's. It's due to our low Si which gets us into all sorts of messes in life, and our Ne which brainstorms all the millions of ways we have been wronged. Instead of Fi empathizing with others, that empathy turns inward and turns into self-pity.
I'm an ENFP and I used to empathize with people greatly until my late twenties and had to learn to walk away from my entire family (for good reasons) and then it just has spiraled ever since- into walking away from everyone very quickly. I still am trying to figure out how to stop doing it
@@AshJae When you have a hard time keep boundaries, walking away is easier.
@@rachelk4805 so true.
I just found out about the MBIT and started digging in, Never felt this relatable since long
I am an INTJ, and coincidently a close & old friend of mine came out to be an ENFP
Sounds like the INTJ’s don’t organise the artistic types, they vaguely funnel them in a direction.
True! But the one intj did acknowledge that creativity itself shouldn't by definition (to honor best usage/outcome) really be organized too tightly 👍😇
Joyce, Thanks for the sparkle and shine! Smart and fun. A perfect panel. I’m an INTJ guy who really loves ENFP women. Your talk really tonic and totally made my day.
Great to hear. Happy you liked it :) !! 💙
how bout an intj woman !?
I'm a female INTj and this whole converstion is just adorable. The ENFPs I like are wonderful but I agree with Chris, I would personally like to keep down the chaos as enough of that's in my life already. But ENFPs have been consistently smart, grounded, forthright and honest and I like that.
You can get a lot of MBTI typing information from someone by the way their eyes look and the person’s demeanor. Look how bright-eyed Heidi looks, and always smiling. In fact, notice how both ENFPs are smiling so freaking much when others are talking. INTJs look badass with a stern resting look. INFJs eyes tend to have wide separation.
Seriously intj here and stone faced through all emotions. When crying on the inside I let out a small smirk. When happy on the inside I let out a smaller smirk
This is funny Simply because I'm an INTJ when I'm having a very fun conversation with someone my face will light up like a Christmas tree but when I'm on my own or just focusing on something I look very Stern and I am starting to think I have a resting bitch face because when I'm blank my mom things I'm mad
Depends on your enneagram and iv
Like enfp 5s 4s and some 6s once in awhile 7s would Just have blank face or stern sometimes a resting bee face
And being sp iv
Sometimes 3s to
My eyes gave such wide separation that I'm not even capable of crossing my eyes.
I need more intjs in my life. Hopefully next time around I don’t mess shit up
I need an ENFP in my life.
Also, 13:46 is so perfectly descriptive of me.
I can refine like a genius, but generating the original idea requires so much energy!
I just want to say thank you to Heidi. As an enfp i have benefited greatly from watching your videos. Thanks to you i now feel like i am free to be myself. Thank you so much!
@14:09 agreed, but the tension that DOES exist is the INTJ will want to actually FINISH the project, while the ENFP doesn't even seem to have respect for the need for the project to be finished - like most things, if this is consciously understood between the two, it will probably help things work out - the INTJ needs to accept that they will be responsible for the follow thru, and the ENFP needs to show some respect and appreciation for what the INTJ is doing actually finishing the project
This made me cry a little, not gonna lie.. As an enfp I needed some reassurance
Nice work ^^
I am a INTJ and when chris talked about how he develops his ideas. So this is what i do and teachers don’t understand. For example my English teacher keeps getting annoyed at me for not planning and im like... but my plan is in my head! And they don’t understand it and it annoys me so much because i am developing my work as i go rather than planning it which may seem wierd for a ni but i can see my idea and what i want to do more clearly that way.
I love watching INTJ and ENFP together. The INTJ stare Michael and Linsey and the mento in a bottle of coke ENFP . I didn’t realize how special INTJ were. As a ENFP I found INTJ really scary, they don’t appear to fall for my charm offensive this makes me up my charm offensive and of course it falls flat on its face as only authenticity strikes a cord. This may sound completely manipulative but for those that fall for this so what? they will never become super super close. I try and always lead with love but INTJ need / demand authenticity and this means they will always get the best of me.
I get what you're talking about here... I know it's an old comment and you may even have even change your mind during this time but it may actually help :")
I'm an enfp also and just broke up with and intj... Yeah they always hold things to their hearts and yet they read me like an open book it's like my fi is offended lol. But the thing is this always happenes... I've seen multiple intj s in my life and it seems like they always have an air of mystery around them... never showing you the truth or in the healthiest way, "all of it". But the closer they are to someone the more they open up. It takes a LONG time but pacience is key and hey... us enfps can kinda read their fi child intuitively and understand them :") it kinda makes them feel understood and gives them space to open up but you should never really force them to do so.
I miss the chemistry and the good times I had with mine. I don't understand why people say intjs are robots... they are really deep and committed in terms of emotions and it's a blessibg that I could see such a thing for myself. Too bad he was an unhealthy intj and things just didn't work out between us. I hope he's doing ok :")
I loved Joyce mentioned ENFP living in moments. This is absolutely me. -ENFP
You guys might want to look into CS Joseph's content. One thing unique about his system is the "attitude" of the cognitive functions. If you numbered the slots from the top down, the odd-numbered functions would have an *optimistic* attitude; whereas the even-numbered functions would have a *pessimistic* attitude. That would explain why ENFP's optimistic Te seeks a reality check from INTJ's pessimistic Te.
He also calls the 2nd and 3rd functions the Parent and Child functions instead of the Auxiliary and Tertiary functions. This seems more accurate to me because the family dynamic really does seem to be their. The second function acts as our inner parent, while the third function acts as our inner child.
Also I noticed that his Typegrid seems to be represented in this video: ENFPs as "Starter" types; INTJs as "Finisher" types, ENFPs with an "Informative" interaction style; INTJs with a "Direct" interactive style, etc. You can get a free copy of the Typegrid at his website if you're interested.
That's interesting. As INTJ I feel like a finisher type but I can't ever really start, plus I'm also too negative. I need to have people in my life that are the opposite to be my complementary.
I think that XNXJ are definetely a good option to ENFPs. The "J" makes them practical and organized, and the "N" makes them really interesting, open-minded and funny. My father is an ENTJ and I love his humour, his cold love and his loyalty, and also the help he brings to others. I have an ENFJ friend and an ENFJ sister and they're warm and empathetic but in a direct way. INFJs are comprehensive and really loving, they're like a hug to my soul. But I don't know any INTJs :(
notice how the INTJ's put their hand to their mouth and do a thinkers pose...... I do exactly the same thing as an INTJ lol
Same I do that and am an INTJ-A
😍🥰. I related on all points, on both sides. My best friend for the last 38 years is an ENFP and our relationship is on point with the points here. We are goofy together and she is so good at bringing out my emotion (as are INFPs). And the getting each other so naturally is the best!
Great choice of video!! Been researching this recently, should be adorable! - INTJ
Thanks. Hope you enjoy it! 😊
You may want to take the test again. INTJs do not use the word “adorable” it is cringeworthy to an INTJ.
They may be an INTJ with a lot of NF type friends. I know personally when I am speaking to these types my language tends to become more colourful and expressive.
Jared Interesting. Thank you for that insight. I’ve never used that word in my life. I was thinking they may be an INTJ female?
True, true. I am male but I have highly developed Fi with having two best friends that are female INFP and ISFP. So I use adorable from personal experience Lol.
one thing that really resonated with me. I wonder if all NeSi need to take the opportunity to explore what all life has to offer sample everything and come to find what suits them best. Anyone else think about this with NP types in general?
This is definitely an NP trait. 💯
yesss 100%
Yesssss
I love how you can tell their MBTI just from the thumbnail
It's that victim mentality that makes me stay away from enfps in general, so thank you for a different perspective. I'm trying to be more open minded towards them
Its not victim its disappointment.
@@Marsh53172 Exactly. (ENFP)
I liked what Heidi said about roles. It's nice because then there are no arguments about creative decisions within each role. You largely just have to accept one another's contributions
Am I the only person who doesn't see the "famous" intj stare?, they look normal - (maybe blind enfp)
They are around ENFPs who naturally loosen them up (so do ENTPs), go watch the INTJ panel video and the resting bitchface is there.
@Ali Malik Yeah but's more common with us. We never know we are doing it, admittedly in photos I was always smiling and another INTJ family friend I had only did it rarely and was generally happy. It varies from person to person obviously.
But around ENFPs and ENTPs the RBF goes away more. The same people in that INTJ panel here are smiling way more in this video.
i mean theyre all staring at a screen so i dont think u can see it
I think I used to did that, when I talk to my friend she sometimes go : Why are you staring at me / looking at me like that. And I would go : LIKE WHAT??? ( in my mind it was like, hey silly it just my eyes are taking pictures in while my brain is trying to think about what you said, how unnormal can the look possibly be). Because the whole situation of zoom is going on so, I think you can spot it clearer in person.
- Have a video recording of an INTJ talking with another person you might be able to see that, I’ve seen some video like that. The “death stare” doesn’t happen so frequently though, to me its like a “day dream” reaction.
I am an enfp and I can stare anyone down. I give people the creeps if I want to.
the disapearing things is so true. also with intps. i feel so comfortable with my intp and intj friends bcz i don't need to be sorry for disapearing. they do the same too and this is so normal in our relationship.
Haha yes can definitely relate to my fellow INTJ guy there with the project keeping him up all night. It feels so good to get in that flow! I actually crave it sometimes.
I'm an INTJ, and I just find ENFPs to be magnetic.
'80% done is fine with me' .....the bane of my existence with my enfp husband :( -INTJ
Oh trust me, us too on the inside 😮💨 finishing stuff is so hard though -ENFP
I love this convo. SO interesting to observe
The longest, and happiest relationship I've been in ( and as of this comment is still in ) is with my girlfriend who's an intj
We've been together 14 years now, and I love that she doesn't need me at all, she could move out tomorrow and fully support herself, she CHOOSES to be with me. She also reminds me to come back to reality when I've drifted too far and I add help encourage her to allow some things to go unplanned and my enfp extrovert breaks the barrier when we meet new people allowing her to open up, I'm rambling but the ways in which we help each other navigate this life with a little less struggle are endless
when asurapsych said debates/arguing happen with entps...i felt that
-infj
My take away/thoughts from the talk.
1. The ENFP is like a little fuzzy pet of ideas, that the INTJ can extract ideas from. But since ENFP's don't mind being thought of as silly little pets, because we actually are silly fuzzy pets, and we own it, we actually kinda appreciate INTJ's willingness to finish our projects for us in a perfectionistic way. As long as they keep the spirit of our ideas alive. Kidding aside, INTJ do the dirty work of details for us, so perhaps the pet analogy does work. You clean up our messes for us. Thanks INTJ's.
2. ENFP's have frenetic, impulsive energy, that can lead to great accomplishments but usually doesn't. INTJ's have well thought out plans that usually don't get started. Imagine someone, having both initiative and following through with perfectionistic tendencies. That's the potential magic of the ENFP/INTJ pairing.
3. What would be the dynamics of an INFJ/ENTP team? My guess is it would seem like letting the mad hatter steer the wagon, and the passenger debating the pro/cons of changing direction as they head off the cliff. No disrespect to the INFJ's, I'm not saying ENFP's aren't mad hatters, but we aren't trying to steer the wagon either in that situation.
3. ENTP/INTJ is another meeting of the extroverted/introverted intuitive minds. However as both are in the thinking realm, who is gonna pick up the hammer and start knocking down the walls? Also, do we really need to prove who is smarter?
4. ENFP/INFJ just stick to counselling please.
5. ENFP-Fi and INTJ-Te. Having both Fi and Te present at high levels in a brainstorming session is priceless. ENFP's can learn to develop Te to a higher degree (ENFP's 3rd function), and produce better, more realistic plans from associations with INTJ's. INTJ's can potentially develop their 3rd function, Fi from interacting with the ENFP. Both types are seen as wacky or arrogant misfits. However, INTJ's probably realize the depth of the ENFP more than other types. Thanks. ENFP's can see the hidden glee within the INTJ and since we also have Fi, we don't ask questions like "are you upset?" or say "look alive", etc which can be really annoying to the INTJ, who is actually a fuzzy little pet covered in layer of "I'm going blend in since people misjudge me". Telling the truth isn't easy, and few people appreciate useful information. ENFP's don't usually react well to criticism, but INTJ's honest criticism doesn't rub us the wrong way at all, because it's logical, usually doesn't conflict with our values, and makes sense. In fact, I treasure that part of the INTJ. INTJ's can feel comfortable being themselves around ENFP's. Finally neglected Se, being the last function for the INTJ is activated from the spontaneous nature of the ENFP. I prefer conversing with INTJ's over any other type in terms of wit, humour, and intellectual discussion because there is a little intellectual sparring that goes on.
Interesting conversation! I feel like there was a huge stereotype on the relationship part. Enfps are very loyal And can stay in a longterm relationship, if they love you. If they don’t they’ll move away. They’re not timewasters. ENFP’s won’t string you along for awhile to have as a ‘friend’ while having a crush on you.
hey, how you doin'?
INTJs aren't so ridgid, we just prefer to schedule periodic intervals of fun.
This is freakin awesome! The clarity level is poppin'!🤗
(Infp here🤗🙋🏻♀️)
Very cool panel, interesting revelations.
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it :D
I think ENFPs we mostly are positive, but we are not afraid to go into the darkness when we need to😂
On the issue of INTJ's aloofness: I've always considered myself the prototypical teacher's pet, which repeatedly puts me in the position of having my time and energies co-opted by others (on the job, in relationships). I also tend to fascinate a lot of people. I'm aloof because I don't have the time or energy to interact with everyone who would eventually want a piece of me.
Fi repulsion. YAS!!! I sorta feel bad when I do this, but at the same time I can't allow someone that flicks the switch to have any influence in my life.
Glad you relate!! It's best to cut out the toxic people from your life, so good for you🙂
This I get. I've had it with several people in middle school and separated myself from them (I didn't know I was doing it at the time). Now that I know what it is I see it in a lot of things. What's Even funnier is last night I was reading a comic and I looked at 1 of the characters for the 1st time and I could immediately tell that he is gonna be a major problem and probably was a murderer ( The title indicated the plot had something to do with murder) And that even if he wasn't he was gonna be someone that we weren't gonna like at all.
Amen, Heidi! Yes, we have an Fi and we have feelings. Thank you for bringing that up! ;)
wow, loved the repulsion switch explanation... it explains a lot... ENFP here
Also though, I really intensely dislike people who dislike me. I don't need another reason, one of my core values is I deserve respect, lose sight of that and I lose respect for you.
INTJ emotion; the one-inch punch of emotional intelligence.
I don't think any of the INTJs really hit on it, but there is one thing that I think is a very core issue when it comes to understanding a lot of things about us, and the best way I can think of to put it is this: If we have a disagreement about something, and the INTJ says something like, "I've really thought this through, and I'm 99% sure I'm right" - You should defer to them. Some people will think that sounds very arrogant. And it can lead to conflict. But it's also true, and it is the source of many of the other phenomena discussed in this video. If you don't respect that core ability or talent of the INTJ, your relationship is going to go sideways. And the situation will almost certainly turn out poorly, because the INTJ was almost certainly right. So everybody's miserable and the project's a disaster, because your ego wouldn't let you admit they were right. Dealing with that situation constantly explains a lot of INTJ behavior.
How can you talk about ego when you say "If an INTJ says they're right you should defer to them" yeah right, there's nothing egotistical about that at all. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that statement smacks of narcissm. If someone said that to me I'd think they were a narcissist. The least you can do is keep an open mind and be prepared to answer questions, no matter how right you think you may be.
@@aaronfrancis3498 You don’t understand. The INTJ won’t take that kind of position unless they’re extremely certain they’re right. I’m not talking about things that are pure opinion, such as what music you like best. I’m talking about things that are objectively true or false, better or worse. Like the decision of which car to buy, as a simple example.
@@aaronfrancis3498Bcoz we will talk with data not by feeling
My best interview so far, thank you for presenting it
Heidi(ENFP) try to keep her energy but inside her mind she was like " Gosh! I'm tired! But, I HAVE TO KEEP GOING! These people are Soo AMAZING!" i'm a ENFP🙈🙈🙈🙈
Maybe it's because I'm a 5w6? But I still can't figure out why everyone says ENFPs and INTJs understand each other so well, because I don't feel like I've ever had that experience with an ENFP. I think ENFPs are more accepting of INTJs than most other people are, but I definitely don't understand them and I have also had an ENFP tell me she didn't understand an INTJ ex (and I know she didn't understand me, either). Also, their 'P' can be maddening. Like the one who showed up late. If we're dating and you're always late, we're not going to last.
Hey, I am a 5w6 INTJ too, and base on my experience, when I first met my ENFP friend, I found him annoying, loud, and clingy. At that time I didn't thought of him as a friend, but simply someone I sat next to during class, eventually we talked about different topics and his responses fascinated me, and to a degree, it was similar to how my world view is. To my surpise, we became really close friends and now, we're both working on our capstone thesis together.
for me, being in a relationship ship with an intj is a struggle. but maybe that'll change in the future
What an great chat! I'm an ENTJ but always test as INTJ. There's so much crossover. Having said that, the question on why we are private made me think why I am that way myself. Though multiple things like independence, conserving energy, and getting things done (Te) play a role, I think the bottom line is that if there is no purpose or need to share something, we won't. It's like asking "what's the point of sharing this? Will any important end result change?" If answer is no, we probably won't share. Btw interesting to see all INTJs as 5w4. I'm a verified 1w9.
Ah yes all these videos always make me necro the crap put of people, but whatever. In terms of my feelings, I just don't see a reason to share them out in the wild. I'm hellbent on solving problems and sharing my feelings is counterproductive. I don't need sympathy from people, I need them to cooperate to the fullest extent of their ability and when their expertise has reached its limit, step aside for the next person to do their job.
How we feel about this issue is a conversation for what happens when everything has been solved and I have time to reflect. Never really before, all it does is make us more likely to act rashly and disrupts the unbiased state of our minds.
Also, i see much of my negative emotion as a problem to be solved. If I don't like X, do Y to change X. Now that X is gone so is the feeling that it gave rise to, and now I am free and clear to move on to problems A, B, and, C. I really don't need to concern myself with how I felt at all because doing Y resolved the issue already, and definitely don't have the energy to stress over stuff that's already been handled when there are still so many things to consider.
out of the two enfp's Michelle is totally me. Shes in my head every word she says lol
great video.I guess I'm definitely part of the arts I have been doing magic shows for over 15 years.
Linda Pinda, an ENFP, has an amazing video about why she likes INTJs. I found it rather moving. I have a hard time understanding how people like her think, but I'm glad they are around.
I'm the sort of person who ENFPs outsource editing to. I love editing. Sometimes, I even suggest replacement text for whole paragraphs.
When it comes to my own writing, I do most of my rough draft work in my head, then sit down and write the final draft. I spend most of my writing time researching, brainstorming, and telling the story to myself and very little of the time actually typing it up. Some people I've collaborated with have gotten frustrated with my percieved lack of progress, then they are amazed when I hand them my final draft way before the deadline while they are still working on early drafts.
My wife and I sometimes daydream together about possible things we could do in the future. Even if we never wind up trying it, it's so fun to imagine it.
When we are stressed or really upset, Michelle, we sometimes go into 'robot' mode. We use that cold exterior thing as a sort of armor in a subconcious effort to protect ourselves from additional hurt. Our more emotional creative side comes out when we are relaxed or are being made to feel safe to do so by someone like an enfp.
I don't know about others, but I'm uncomfortable with sharing my inner self with others because I'm afraid the other people will tease me or musunderstand me. I was unmercifully teased as a kid, so I wonder if some of our way we are is caused by how we grew up rather than just how our brains are wired.
The intjs on this panel really are relatable to me.
21:20 One rule in business (Te) is to never take things personally. The person is separate from the product and outcome
Loved this video! Thank you, Joyce & all! :)
You are so welcome! So glad you enjoyed, Alayna :) !!
As an ENFP where do I find myself a INTJ?! I want to blast into their room where theyre working on their super genius plans all alone and give them all my positive energy and love
i'm INTJ and for my interaction with ENFP, i can relate that we both okay for disappearing :D because we both do it anyway
I like the ENFP energy, but just 5 minutes in, I'm exhausted lol!
Well, intjs entrance....... Silence(if i felt any extra energy from them i will knox who is faking), Enfps entrance 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶A party started (now i know no one id faking)
Good job.
Me:Intj
My wife:Enfp.
At 7 minutes and I actually noticed Lindsay did not have her microphone activated I am not surprised
I didnt need to be on this zoom because Lindsay says everything I would have, verbatim
Joyce is the most beautiful person on the planet. 😍 awesome content!
Wow, thank you! 🥰
she looks so cute ^^
@37 ish Heidi - I organize my day laying in bed in the morning and then go and do something completely different and it all works out......sort of. Never plan more that a few hours in advance but I have to fit in a more organized world and so a few fixed “times” is helpful. How can you organize any future because when you get there it may not want it any more. Is that enfp ish 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
I would like to see a video with INTJs and ESFJs reacting to each other. That would be very interesting.
Thanks everyone, this was fun to observe. Have MBTI gotten more popular in the last 20 years? I swear we didn't go into it all that much when I took a couple of psych classes around 2000. I did the test a couple of times with friends as our prof gave us photo copies of the test to do for fun. These were first years psych classes so that may be why we didn't learn more but there also was not this much information on sites like TH-cam. Also, most of the people speaking about MBTI on TH-cam are under a certain age. I'm just curious and a bit disappointed I didn't read more about it before.
Heidi is so smiley!! - fellow enfp
30 years ago I was an INTJ now I am ENFP and I ...er... we... watched this alone. and enjoyed the yyz of it all. cute awkward reminded me of kids in toronto..3 year follow up due? cheers from cali smile
Wow this is such a great video. I don't know if I'm trying to deny that I'm 100% intj or be soo content about it ha! because so many things are accurate in this video as well especially reacting and connecting with the ENFP...yesss🤘😏🤔
I'll describe my INTJ process by the most recent example, one that happened today in fact. I have some tech savvy, but not a great deal. Anyway, I'm still trying to refine my understanding of computers, and as it's such a changing field, even more the difficulty achieving something of a good reliance on what I know. Anyway, I have started to come to the conclusion that portable hard drives are unreliable, as it seems the only ones I have failing are those, while my non-portables are much, much more reliable. I got into portables in the first place, largely because I have only so many power switches, and portables typically use just a USB connection for power off the computer.
So I have a portable which, of course, is doing the typical giving me problems. My strategy had been to put downloads on there, and then later send those downloads, if I wanted to keep them, to the non-portable drive. I do this also so I don't have to power up the non-portable very much. But the problem with the portable is that I have also been using it to store data. You might as well use that big space for some storage, right? So what I found out today, is that even with data as new as a month, even though that data is perfectly fine on this questionable drive, it doesn't copy all the files to my non-portable very well, losing maybe 5% of the data in the copy.
So I was very unsure what to do, and I wrote my sister an email about this. I tend to think this portable is kaput, especially if it continues to transfer files to the other drive this poorly (however I am long style formatting that portable now). So the question bugging me, regardless if I'm using the current portable, or a new non-portable as my download drive, should I continue to use my download drive as doing some storage as well? I really was unsure what to do, and then it struck me, after opening up like that to use my download drive just for downloads, and also to get probably as small a non-portable as I can get, when this portable gives it up for sure.
I've had this sort of breakthrough a number of times earlier in my life, when just talking the problem over with somebody ignoring me (and since my sister hasn't responded yet to my email, it amounts to that) gets my head to make a decisive decision, but even more than that, gets me over the hump to see what was stymying me and to see clearly what to do. Often, we INTJ's may take a rather long time to break through the problem bugging us, but I have found times where the brain thinks much clearer and quicker if the problem is put to somebody else, even if they're ignoring you or cannot respond to you yet. It's almost as if the knowledge that will satisfy you, will stay elusive for quite a while, until you open up to somebody else. It sort of doesn't make sense, but what happens, I think, is that you are sort of stuck thinking within yourself at times, and opening up to somebody else, gets your brain to think outside it's normal zone, as though you're anticipating their possible objections, and so you're sort of fooled into thinking outside your usual self that way.
If most Intjs and enfps get along well, What about Infp and entjs?
That would make sense too
Entj here, i love infps 💕
TOO MUCH ENTJ ACTION, infp would get uwu intimidated.
Im enfp working on project with an intj we honestly constantly pick up where the other lacks and are of high value to eachother for this reason , something i have reviewed is i like having a plan when i travel bit also to keep space open for spontaneity allowing for experiences to enrich the journey
@25:00 Heidi: why do you think INTJs tend to be "better" people than ENFPs? If Fi is second for ENFPs, why would Fi being third for INTJs make them "better" people because of it?
ENFP here; I think she means that INTJs make most decisions from their Te which usually means they are trying to do the best for the most people first. We ENFPs try to do what Joyce noted which is we are hoping to realize our Fi externally first; then after that we can get to worst works best for most people. We see them as way more selfless too because they can override their Fi better than we can to achieve that result for everyone.
25:00. This is so person to person dependent. Many factors weigh in more (1:01:57 👍 - I’ve known several INTJ to be stuck in this loop during stress and they need time and hard truth to sort through it) or as equally effective such as morals, background, maturity, mental health, empathy, SES, & more, imho.
So valuable, thank you ❤ /INTJ
You're so welcome! 🙂
Yeah Mia I loved this one! :) Almost through it now!
@@JonasAnandaKristiansson some of my favourite intj:s 😊 visade sig efter flera år av mbti "forskning" att jag är INTJ. It all makes sense now 😅
@@mialindvall Hhahaha "forskning" där också! :D Ja men det kan ta sin tid, om man inte bara tar saker att face value!! Jag är fortfarande inte bestämt, till exempel, gällande om jag är 4w5 eller 5w4 i Enneagram.
Det är underbart när något, speciellt sådant här, verkligen klickar och makes sense!
@@JonasAnandaKristiansson Du vet den där känslan när man bara neeej det där är ju jag 🙈. Den var det. Var lite lurigt iom att båda har Ni och sedan är rätt balanserade när det gäller thinking och feeling. Finns ju så mycket mer också men svårt gå in på här 😊