1. Victim Mode/Creative mode: Live creatively, think outside the box, seek CREATIVE solutions to problems, take charge, making things happen yourself Victim Mode: Focussing on how different we are, feeling bad, accepting what u don't like without tryna actively change it. 2. Avoiding discomfort and Pursuing Purpose: (P.s as ENFPs, u probably have many "purposes") -Enfps very optimistic but may become compulsively avoidant, chasing highs. Dont do that. Carefully cultivate the areas which seem difficult (relationships, jobs etc) -sometime ENFPs have intensee emotions, which can cause them to go into avoidance, such as mindless scrolling on social media, rather than actually pursuing your passion. -Enfps great at observing,sitting with their emotional experiences and helping inspire others to persevere. -if you feel that u are meant to something, dont give up during the tiny "difficulties"/discomfort along the journey. go forward anyways with self compassion 3. Selectively honest and radically transparent: -dont be selectively honest just about some partss to try to get validation, do not put on a mask, do not people please etc. -be more transparent bc it is healing for mental health as "we are sick as our secrets". bc the more we hide our secrets, the more we suffer. be honest about yourselves. -communicate more authentically, dont be harsh though. 4. compartmentalized well being and holistic health: -To not have sooo much structure, rigidness, honor your natural energy -be spontaneous, fun but not irresponsible -having a good balance between routines, structure while alsoo exploring, seeking new possibilities -be accepting with all parts of youu
I just finished the video and I would LOVE to see the “How to be Authentic without being Offputting” video 😭 That’s one of my current challenges I’m figuring out how to overcome
Stay true to who you are. Stop caring about what other “people think.” Some people are going to like you, some people are going to dislike you. Only one thing matters, that you love you!💗
Don't care about what other people think of you. But do care about how other people feel. Not caring about what other people think, doesn't give you permission to be an ass.
I was just thinking the exact same thing. But I feel even as an ISTP I can get something out of her ENFP videos (and also her non type specific videos of course!).
It seems to all come down to the dramatic, passionate ENFPs having to learn how to manage their moods. They need to express their emotions in order to understand them. They need to act them out, but in an observing, reflective way. This is part of their charisma - they have better access to the unconscious than most. They strive for deeper meaning, always exploring their depths - unless they are caught up in self-avoidance and self-numbing, which occurs when the ENFP, after a creative burst, an emotional upset, or because they’ve adopted a mask / role that is a poor fit. ENFPs keep having to relearn that with some loose structure and regular novelty - people, places, subjects - they thrive. Being happy in your work? ENFP Nirvana! How do we learn to live in a way that is sustainable? We need to find a cause we are so passionate about that we will persist through all the sustained effort it will take to achieve that objective, to be The Champion. Its a heavy weight, burning to change the world and bring out the best in others, when so much is recalcitrant to change. Only by learning to be authentic and transparent can you ever hope to light the spark in others that sets a movement ablaze.
Wow that was poetic, and very well-written! As an ENFP myself, I can confirm that this was accurate! Thank you for taking the time to write this! I feel heard! :D
this makes so much sense. I do tend to avoid discomfort or having to make a big effort for a long amount of time, like having to clean my apartment thoroughly is something I tend to avoid until I no longer can.
I just want to share something about compartmentalising your health, because I didn’t know I have grown so much there in the last few years, and perhaps it will inspire some creativity in other ENFPs: I feel completely free as I am living in a different country than I am originally from, learning a new language, new culture and experiencing actual seasons. I can also explore and train for novel sports (that are not possible in my country of origin) and set goals for those, my supervisor at work lets me do stuff my way and is not micromanaging me. At the same time: I wake up early every day and start with a workout routine, I have a steady job at the university (that will also require me to go abroad once in a while) and I devote 1 day a week for household stuff. I don’t have a spouse or kids, which makes things easier for me, but I am sure I could slowly work towards that as well when the opportunity arises!
First time listener and within the first 6min of this video has me in tears. I’m so relieved and grateful to know I’m not alone. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I’m about to take a deep dive into all your posts ❤️❤️❤️
I've not seen one of your videos before but insomnia brought me here and i'm glad it did. I've been uncertain about my ENFP result for a while, but spent most of this video laughing at the accuracy. 100% in victim mode but it genuinely is out of my control at the moment and 100% struggling with the lack of understanding, community and adventure. If I could change my circumstances right now, I would; but just 12 months and I'll be quite literally moving into a different life 👍 I'll be bingeing a few more of your vids I think!
watching this is such a sigh of relief, like receiving information that doesn't just trigger being automatically defensive. You definitely have a way with words and communication Heidi!!!
You're one of the people who make me feel alive,glad i met you hehe :) Gee.... i realize i have been trying to fit into a single purpose! Helps to see this more clearly now. I have been compulsively studying hollistic health...without having open space for other things i enjoy,so all extroversion and little feeling. I do feel comforted by familiarity and routine but have been driving myself mad trying to find the right balance of fluidity/flow and being consistent in healthy patterns of living. The comfort i feel in Si things felt like i would be INFP but i know this is not the case anymore.
I really appreciate this! It helped me understand myself better and how deal with it ❤️ always noding and feeling understood when you talk about us ENFPs. So much love to you 🥰
@@achilleaben4761 @Achillea Ben If you as well feel very understood by Heidi, it feels good meeting more enfp who feel like what she discribes and tells is very accurate. And I feel glad that she can easily xplain and share, because imagine a shy enfp who was not able to share those thoughts and feelings with us. I was shocked by the accuracy in a positive way. In my no good times felt like: Crap, think and behave like an ISTJ type, y, but when Heidi explained, everything was clear and felt understood.
Recently I've been running in the mornings, i'm really proud of myself when i do, and although i had to change up my routine a little in the evening and at night i feel healthier during the day because of it. I know it's important for me to do so, but i also teared up a little at hearing the part about how i feel like i have to choose between healthy routines to keep me 'healthy' and wild spontaneity and friends. I know that ideally, I can balance between the two but i'm still learning how to :') I realize i merge into my ideal self (i feel like i can describe my ideal self as a ghost that i can tap into and see exactly what it's doing at any give moment, and sometimes i forget to tap into it but have been trying to get better at doing so) when i run, which right now in my life is rare.
I just finished this video and found it revelatory. While I know un/healthy types isn't exact psychology, looking at my type through this lens really helped me understand me now, and surprisingly, my "old self". I grew up in a traumatic environment, even into my early twenties. I really prided myself on being one of the "quirky and unique" INFJs because by the quiz and my perception of things, that's what I thought I was. But looking back and even in the present with the early years of my healing journey, I can totally see that I was living as a "false type" because of my environment and belief system. Now that I'm growing and forgiving myself and meeting my true self for the first time, I see that I'm closer to an ENFP than I thought. And regardless of whatever type I am, it's just nice to know that I am making progress in life and there is a version of me that is happening to life instead of the other way around. Thank you so much for your content. You're so awesome!
This one and yesterday's have proven to be particularly relevant for me lately. I've been sorta stuck in the middle of not knowing where I am in life/relationships or where I should be going and it's been a little frustrating. As always, you've given me much to consider and think about. Thank you! Cheers
I feel so so so understood! You speak in such a way that resonates deeply in my brain, heart and soul - than you for such great and informative content!
I just saw this video and said out loud, "Heidi priebe, you are a goddess." Just wanted to share that with you, thank you for the videos you make. I've learned so much from you.
I never comment but now I have to... woaw. This resonates so much. Especially number 2. I got layed off a job 3 months ago and since, I am asking what I should do next instead of just taking another sales job in another startup... I have some opportunities / ideas coming up and I feel like I have to go through / experiment them fully - especially since I have unemployment benefits for 18 months that allow me to support myself no matter what! But often, these feelings of wanting to seek out the security of salaried employment again, so that I can be proud and as exhausted/dejected as the others in the evening when we drinking our beer, come rushing back. I'm planning to become a stop-smoking coach. I know how to do it. I have the skills and the deep desire to do it, to help other, to pursue my goal (yeah ! number 2 I told you). I'm off! Talk to you in 6 months after this comment 😉
Heidi, in a lot of your videos, you talk about STJ types and how ENFPs compare to them. Is it possible you could do a short intro to those types (even with direct comparison to NFP types) so as we could see exactly what you mean? Love your work
This victom mode / creator mode thing sounds like me. Unfortunately, as the youngest child of an abusive family with a narcissist literally spreading rumors behind my back to everyone, ill of health and with about zero financial resources, I don't know how to get out of victim mode. I suggest things that are reasonable and they get shot down. I seek help and the narcissist swoops in with lies. I take steps on my own and someone comes and destroys what I am hoping to write, sell, work at, save. Ugh! After a while, it is just safer to sit and be a lump.
i have never been this early thank you heidi you have always helped me understand myself better and made me fall in love with self discovery much grateful
This whole video helped me see how I am both an ENFP and an Enneagram 4. The constant masking leading to be around other people leads to major identity issues and the victim mentality of being in the feelings.
I am really enjoying watching your videos! As someone in her 40's just coming to realize who she is, it is wonderful to see someone so young and full of excitement about her own mental health and well being. I found myself nodding along with you going yes I do that or hmm need to work on that as you were talking. Keep up the great work!
Wow, this was really great! I will definitely subscribe! I'm an INFJ who has been through a lot, faced a lot and overcome a lot. I would consider myself fairly mature and healthy even though I'm hard on myself and beat myself up a lot. I was recently close to someone I suspect was an ENFP, I really felt connected to this person, I feel I was my authentic self maybe a bit off-putting. I guess they were not in a healthy place. I tried to be very supportive, uplifting and I wish them the best! This brought in a lot of perspective with general psychology attributes perfectly articulated into the context!
When I have the energy I am either the life of the party or I contribute to it. I can get along with just about anybody, and I also try to see everything from all the perspectives that I can. So many different pathways make sense that I don't feel dishonest around people for behaving differently. My act changes a bit like a stand up routine, but I always feel true to myself when I'm entertaining others.
I think I have seen damn near just about every one of your videos and idek if I have ever left a comment but I just want you to know as a fellow ENFP girl…. You have helped me think things through so much in ways that I didn’t know I needed at the time and idk you personally but I love and adore what you do so much.. Thank you.
Mason R 1 second ago Underrated channel and content. Please please keep going Heidi, you have been so helpful to me on my life journey. I had to mature very fast and suddenly this year after starting a company with my roommate. Almost all of these touches in some way on the skills I've begun needing to learn in this process, and clarified them to me so I can hopefully continue to grow in these areas even more. Thank you!
I like this video, and it's interesting how easily it translates to entp's. The driving function is different here and there, but we basically deal with the same things. And the point on health applies to everyone I guess.
I just find your Videos so good! This is so inspiering , not only the content and informations that you are saying, but also to see you as someone who is really good at what they are doing so naturally.
I love you too, thank you so much for the continual advice. I'm a 20 year old ENFP from South Africa and I greatly appreciate your work (I feel like I have a personality mentor).
I'm an INTJ 4W5 and "anxious/preoccupied". I'm a 53-year-old male American-born Irish Jew (yes, it's relevant). My ... friend? best friend? is a 27-year-old female, Mainland China-born ENFP, Avoidant/dismissive who's grown up here and is an American citizen. Those aren't irrelevant details: They describe our really weird, platonic (not my choice) friendship. Literally, she asks me for advice on her latest attempt at getting a bf and I DO try to give good advice! The thing is that I SEE how she sabotages herself. I see why. I'm combat-related PTSD that had to be dragged, kicking and screaming into therapy. Once I got it, though, I just adopted it as a framework; a way of understanding and talking about things. I'm a INTJ and I get systems. When there's a problem, I either have a solution or find a solution. I found YOU and your videos are the answer to the problem. Damned if I can grab her by the scruff of the neck and make her spend 20 minutes listening to anything you have to say. Not ENFP, Not Avoidant. Not why she's not happy and not getting what she wants, but always gets what she asks for. We talk every day, but listening to you (and my therapist) I realize I'm out of my league. How do I ask questions that will lead her to looking for help? I am an INTJ Combat-related PTSD guy (LEAST likely to accept help) but she confounds me.
Normal for ENFPs to talk to people of all ages; the situation you describe sounds normal. The ENFP will discover - there are many ways to learn. Please don't expect you'll find "all" the answers, especially not for another - a lesson many learn painfully. Keep encouraging learning, small habit changes.
Thank you so much for this video! You have helped me so much with this video. I suffer from major depression and I am trying to overcome it….so I can use my strengths 🙏🙏🙏
Heidi... thank you for your time and this incredible gift. I'm sure that I'll be visiting this video (once a week!) or when I need a reminder. Thank you so much. Have your Survival book on Audio and have been subscribing to your videos for a while now. My love and very best wishes to you. Susan, Cape Town, South Africa.
Loved your video! How you explained the pursuit of feeling good and avoiding feeling bad reminded me of the description about how an ADHD brains constantly wants to be stimulated to produce dopamine as less is present compared to non ADHD brains. - How did you integrate introverted sensing to be more healthy?
Yes, why it is easy to misdiagnosis an ENFP with ADHD. I've heard Heidi Piebe describe how ENFPs must grow the skill of reality checking our "fancies" - learn yourself, learn the world, check denial spots ... seems true for everyone, maybe ENFPs/INFPs have to increase frequency, possibly to the amount we dream. ...
I'm an ENFP superstar. And I would love the opportunity to chat with you for at least 30 min about mental health, growth, etc. I'm in Japan so the time would have to be in the morning or late evening, but I believe I could inspire you too and we would both finish the meeting feeling encouraged. Let me know if you're up for it!
Lol apparently it lists the wages of the workers who built the Acropolis (I bought it at the Acropolis museum in Athens) but if you can read it please let me know what you find!
@@heidipriebe1 lol no wonder, i didn't find any word ofc, but i did imagine a word and i tried to focus and yep the word was just my imagination. thanks for clearing things up, btw ^^
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I needed this so much, I’ve been acting different them myself all the time around other people, and I’m so unhappy, and I’ve been looking for a solution, and I’ve finally found it! I’m doing all these bad things, and some of the good things I’ve been working toward! Some of them, though, are new and I realize I need to go after them! Can you give advice on what to do instead of chasing the dopamine? I don’t really have friends to talk to often, and when I do, I don’t know what to talk about. I’ve been in victim mode all my life, and I’m always thinking about how no one else is like me and understands me. How do I not?
For me, I take a constant creator mode, but sometimes it’s recording a new song, making a new painting. Kind of mini-creator mode as I look for new opportunities to pick up something bigger. I’m raising a son, whose 12, so since I haven’t started my big organic farm plan yet, I’ve taken him to farms to volunteer all over the world. It’s hard to know when to go all in on a plan, because I’m aware at some level my life has been all over from a pH.D chemistry, research, then tutoring at risk kids, then painting studio Beijing, then raising my son, it’s never settled. I want to start my farm and have a yoga studio but it feels really scary to commit to a plan with what I perceive to be little flexibility.
The not being your true self comes of bad depends on how good you're at it. I had one of my best friend believe I wasn't really sensitive until years later where we both did the test together. He told me he never realised how different I am on the inside
I would like to see a video on when an ENFP is confronted with chronic health issues that have no hope of getting better. (I put this at the top because long video reply) I have chronic health challenges and don't have the physical energy I did to seemlessly go from one activity/social encounter to another. I need to rest more and to manage my time more, which is a "wah, I don't wanna!" I know at some point, I'm going to have to let some things slide, and I'm just delaying that and getting more exhausted. In relation to this video... I'm an ENFP who daily has been running the gauntlet of rules and regulations (taxes, insurance things, contracts...). I have to stop any creative flow because I have to i.e. do various paperwork, learn new software systems instead of getting my actual work done on the old ones which worked perfectly well. I feel as though my creativity is being stifled at every turn. It's wearing me down, and as a result I'm doubting my ability to make good decisions. And I'm definitely starting to exhibit ISTJ traits. Simultaneously, I'm at the point where I am living many things that I want and, mostly, with people I like. This is so awesome, but has also become somewhat of a "may you get what you want" curse. I feel trapped by the wonderful things now, and the juggling I'm doing to maintain all of them is draining me instead of feeding me (chronic health issues are a big factor too), as I'm often forgetting about things until a deadline approaches and panic sets in. And I want time to explore new things instead, and there doesn't seem to be time. If only there weren't so much arbitrary paperwork at every turn, I would have more energy to enjoy my life more, and do them better because I won't be rushing through them so much. I'm missing the deep dive that illuminates all, as such. Thanks for your video!
I have an ex who is an ENFP that I just had to cut off from my life because of her unhealthy state. At its worst, it's a sad sight to see because I know what she's capable of and just how wonderful she can be as a person. But she struggles with facing the harsh truths of reality and runs from discomfort like her life depends on it. She plays victim to life and refuses to take on her own life path in order to reach her full potential. She has become manipulative in a way that's endangered a few people's lives a few times, and mine too one day. Which is why I've had to cut her off. I've done quite a lot of work on my own mental well-being as an INFJ, and one thing I've learnt from that path is that you can't save people who don't wanna be saved. It's better to rescue yourself from them before they drag you down with them. But, considering how much she meant to me once upon a time, it's not easy to accept that I just have to watch her lead herself to ruin and not be able to do anything about it. I want to hold on to the hope that she will finally find her way to her best self and do the work towards self-improvement, but it's hard when I consider just how dangerously she's been living lately. By the time she wakes up, it might even be too late for her to actually save herself. Given she's got a daughter (not mine, of course) -I fear the child is going to be the biggest victim to this state of hers than anyone else. Which I've already seen happen before she finally decided to send the child off to her mother. How does one help in a situation like this without putting yourself up for ruin in the process?
Dear fellow INFJ, I resonated so much with your message as an INFJ surrounded by ENFP family members. I've spent a lifetime's worth of energy trying to help them, and you are right, some people just do not want to be saved because the victim mode is easier at the moment for them. It's a struggle to let them lead their own lives, especially when you don't want them to harm their children.... but ultimately they must make their own choice in life. Sending love and light on your journey x
Hey Heidi! Super valuable info as always!! Ι absolutely have to share this with the ENFPs of my life!!! I have an idea to offer and a (irrelevant to this video) question. 1. I've read about Levels of Development in "The Shadows of Type, Psychological Type Through Seven Levels of Development" by Angelina Bennet. Check it out, maybe you could make a video out of this model. 2. I've read on the MBTI manual that the Person-Centered approach seems more fitting for ENFPs while the Cognitive-Behavioral approach seems more fitting for INTJs. So, what's the therapeutic approach of your current therapist and how satisfied are you? What's your experience regarding the various therapeutic approaches?
I’m an enfp and Cognitive Behavior works best for me. I am highly passioned by understanding the biological aspects of behavior, and neuroscience is my drug. Haha I think it’s case by case
can you make a video of the authentic vs. off putting? I feel like I swing back and forth from being too people pleasing to brutally honest (and off putting) and I want to be balanced
Ok, the masking got to me. I am a chameleon. Usually this is okay because I can read the room pretty quickly and know "my audience", but I have realized I do this because I don't feel up to par with others and that most people are just inherently better than me. I understand intellectually that this is not the case, but years of being miss understood and told I think differently than most has really affected most of my interactions.
Do INFPs have the same journey? I cant figure out if im an anxious isolated ENFP or INFP. My gut feels like ENFP is the energy level I imagine myself as but social anxiety makes it hard to tell
I'm INTJ. So I didn't really understand too much about ENFPs before watching this. Yet, ENFPs come up like this "match" for INTJs. I can see some differences that I can appreciate. And the healthy and unhealthy gives me more understanding of your type and my type even. I'm 48 and funny enough I see my Se growing all the time. I'm actually in a job that requires Se most of the time. Or an aspect of it. Se uses to be a huge insecurity for me, but I'm at peace with it and having a healthy Ni-Se balance. I like your talk about Fi in this video and Fi trips me up. I try to make room for it, but I allow Te to manage it and listen to it. In the past, if I didn't like Fi was bringing to the table I would have Te try to shut it down completely which was not healthy. :)
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1. Victim Mode/Creative mode:
Live creatively, think outside the box, seek CREATIVE solutions to problems, take charge, making things happen yourself
Victim Mode: Focussing on how different we are, feeling bad, accepting what u don't like without tryna actively change it.
2. Avoiding discomfort and Pursuing Purpose: (P.s as ENFPs, u probably have many "purposes")
-Enfps very optimistic but may become compulsively avoidant, chasing highs. Dont do that. Carefully cultivate the areas which seem difficult (relationships, jobs etc)
-sometime ENFPs have intensee emotions, which can cause them to go into avoidance, such as mindless scrolling on social media, rather than actually pursuing your passion.
-Enfps great at observing,sitting with their emotional experiences and helping inspire others to persevere.
-if you feel that u are meant to something, dont give up during the tiny "difficulties"/discomfort along the journey. go forward anyways with self compassion
3. Selectively honest and radically transparent:
-dont be selectively honest just about some partss to try to get validation, do not put on a mask, do not people please etc.
-be more transparent bc it is healing for mental health as "we are sick as our secrets". bc the more we hide our secrets, the more we suffer. be honest about yourselves.
-communicate more authentically, dont be harsh though.
4. compartmentalized well being and holistic health:
-To not have sooo much structure, rigidness, honor your natural energy
-be spontaneous, fun but not irresponsible
-having a good balance between routines, structure while alsoo exploring, seeking new possibilities
-be accepting with all parts of youu
thank u for exercising ur Te! - enfp
Thankx needed that ❤️❤️
Thank you! :)
Thank you so much!! I would never have written this many notes on it, and I really need it, it’s so helpful.
I just finished the video and I would LOVE to see the “How to be Authentic without being Offputting” video 😭 That’s one of my current challenges I’m figuring out how to overcome
Me too!!!
Stay true to who you are. Stop caring about what other “people think.” Some people are going to like you, some people are going to dislike you. Only one thing matters, that you love you!💗
"Effective authenticity"
Hell yea, I would love to see this video too
Don't care about what other people think of you.
But do care about how other people feel.
Not caring about what other people think, doesn't give you permission to be an ass.
I wish all the types had a Heidi Priebe.
I was just thinking the exact same thing.
But I feel even as an ISTP I can get something out of her ENFP videos (and also her non type specific videos of course!).
Exactly
It seems to all come down to the dramatic, passionate ENFPs having to learn how to manage their moods. They need to express their emotions in order to understand them. They need to act them out, but in an observing, reflective way. This is part of their charisma - they have better access to the unconscious than most. They strive for deeper meaning, always exploring their depths - unless they are caught up in self-avoidance and self-numbing, which occurs when the ENFP, after a creative burst, an emotional upset, or because they’ve adopted a mask / role that is a poor fit.
ENFPs keep having to relearn that with some loose structure and regular novelty - people, places, subjects - they thrive.
Being happy in your work? ENFP Nirvana! How do we learn to live in a way that is sustainable? We need to find a cause we are so passionate about that we will persist through all the sustained effort it will take to achieve that objective, to be The Champion.
Its a heavy weight, burning to change the world and bring out the best in others, when so much is recalcitrant to change. Only by learning to be authentic and transparent can you ever hope to light the spark in others that sets a movement ablaze.
Wow that was poetic, and very well-written! As an ENFP myself, I can confirm that this was accurate! Thank you for taking the time to write this! I feel heard! :D
So eloquently explained. Thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you so much, this was awesome and inspiring 💖🎆
this makes so much sense. I do tend to avoid discomfort or having to make a big effort for a long amount of time, like having to clean my apartment thoroughly is something I tend to avoid until I no longer can.
I just want to share something about compartmentalising your health, because I didn’t know I have grown so much there in the last few years, and perhaps it will inspire some creativity in other ENFPs:
I feel completely free as I am living in a different country than I am originally from, learning a new language, new culture and experiencing actual seasons. I can also explore and train for novel sports (that are not possible in my country of origin) and set goals for those, my supervisor at work lets me do stuff my way and is not micromanaging me. At the same time: I wake up early every day and start with a workout routine, I have a steady job at the university (that will also require me to go abroad once in a while) and I devote 1 day a week for household stuff. I don’t have a spouse or kids, which makes things easier for me, but I am sure I could slowly work towards that as well when the opportunity arises!
Re-watching the third time after a while. I feel so lucky you exist. It's literally free therapy.
THANK YOU HEIDI - “you owe it to yourself to be sticking through any moments of discomfort that arise along the way to that thing” ❤️❤️
I need “fight your way into that person” tattooed to my brain!!
First time listener and within the first 6min of this video has me in tears. I’m so relieved and grateful to know I’m not alone. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I’m about to take a deep dive into all your posts ❤️❤️❤️
Oh my gosh I am so thrilled to have found this. THANK YOU times a zillion. I'll be back! -Kate in Michigan
I've not seen one of your videos before but insomnia brought me here and i'm glad it did. I've been uncertain about my ENFP result for a while, but spent most of this video laughing at the accuracy. 100% in victim mode but it genuinely is out of my control at the moment and 100% struggling with the lack of understanding, community and adventure. If I could change my circumstances right now, I would; but just 12 months and I'll be quite literally moving into a different life 👍 I'll be bingeing a few more of your vids I think!
Hope you enjoyed.
watching this is such a sigh of relief, like receiving information that doesn't just trigger being automatically defensive.
You definitely have a way with words and communication Heidi!!!
You're one of the people who make me feel alive,glad i met you hehe :) Gee.... i realize i have been trying to fit into a single purpose! Helps to see this more clearly now. I have been compulsively studying hollistic health...without having open space for other things i enjoy,so all extroversion and little feeling. I do feel comforted by familiarity and routine but have been driving myself mad trying to find the right balance of fluidity/flow and being consistent in healthy patterns of living. The comfort i feel in Si things felt like i would be INFP but i know this is not the case anymore.
I really appreciate this! It helped me understand myself better and how deal with it ❤️ always noding and feeling understood when you talk about us ENFPs. So much love to you 🥰
So true. Plus: Strange turning from enfp into istj, but felt that.
@@marcwemtrust1480 in her or in me?
@@achilleaben4761 Both :)
@@marcwemtrust1480 in what way ? If I may ask.
@@achilleaben4761 @Achillea Ben If you as well feel very understood by Heidi, it feels good meeting more enfp who feel like what she discribes and tells is very accurate. And I feel glad that she can easily xplain and share, because imagine a shy enfp who was not able to share those thoughts and feelings with us. I was shocked by the accuracy in a positive way. In my no good times felt like: Crap, think and behave like an ISTJ type, y, but when Heidi explained, everything was clear and felt understood.
Recently I've been running in the mornings, i'm really proud of myself when i do, and although i had to change up my routine a little in the evening and at night i feel healthier during the day because of it. I know it's important for me to do so, but i also teared up a little at hearing the part about how i feel like i have to choose between healthy routines to keep me 'healthy' and wild spontaneity and friends. I know that ideally, I can balance between the two but i'm still learning how to :') I realize i merge into my ideal self (i feel like i can describe my ideal self as a ghost that i can tap into and see exactly what it's doing at any give moment, and sometimes i forget to tap into it but have been trying to get better at doing so) when i run, which right now in my life is rare.
I just finished this video and found it revelatory. While I know un/healthy types isn't exact psychology, looking at my type through this lens really helped me understand me now, and surprisingly, my "old self".
I grew up in a traumatic environment, even into my early twenties. I really prided myself on being one of the "quirky and unique" INFJs because by the quiz and my perception of things, that's what I thought I was.
But looking back and even in the present with the early years of my healing journey, I can totally see that I was living as a "false type" because of my environment and belief system. Now that I'm growing and forgiving myself and meeting my true self for the first time, I see that I'm closer to an ENFP than I thought. And regardless of whatever type I am, it's just nice to know that I am making progress in life and there is a version of me that is happening to life instead of the other way around.
Thank you so much for your content. You're so awesome!
This one and yesterday's have proven to be particularly relevant for me lately. I've been sorta stuck in the middle of not knowing where I am in life/relationships or where I should be going and it's been a little frustrating.
As always, you've given me much to consider and think about. Thank you! Cheers
I feel so so so understood! You speak in such a way that resonates deeply in my brain, heart and soul - than you for such great and informative content!
I just saw this video and said out loud, "Heidi priebe, you are a goddess." Just wanted to share that with you, thank you for the videos you make. I've learned so much from you.
Blown away by your brilliant analytical information. Cheers from this former INFJ who become an ENFJ.
I never comment but now I have to... woaw. This resonates so much. Especially number 2. I got layed off a job 3 months ago and since, I am asking what I should do next instead of just taking another sales job in another startup... I have some opportunities / ideas coming up and I feel like I have to go through / experiment them fully - especially since I have unemployment benefits for 18 months that allow me to support myself no matter what! But often, these feelings of wanting to seek out the security of salaried employment again, so that I can be proud and as exhausted/dejected as the others in the evening when we drinking our beer, come rushing back. I'm planning to become a stop-smoking coach. I know how to do it. I have the skills and the deep desire to do it, to help other, to pursue my goal (yeah ! number 2 I told you). I'm off! Talk to you in 6 months after this comment 😉
Heidi, in a lot of your videos, you talk about STJ types and how ENFPs compare to them. Is it possible you could do a short intro to those types (even with direct comparison to NFP types) so as we could see exactly what you mean? Love your work
I like this idea! I will definitely think more about it and see what I can do :)
the things you said in this video reminded me who I was and I didn't even realise I went off track/how I used to feel until now! thanks!
This victom mode / creator mode thing sounds like me. Unfortunately, as the youngest child of an abusive family with a narcissist literally spreading rumors behind my back to everyone, ill of health and with about zero financial resources, I don't know how to get out of victim mode. I suggest things that are reasonable and they get shot down. I seek help and the narcissist swoops in with lies. I take steps on my own and someone comes and destroys what I am hoping to write, sell, work at, save. Ugh! After a while, it is just safer to sit and be a lump.
i have never been this early
thank you heidi you have always helped me understand myself better and made me fall in love with self discovery
much grateful
Number 1 felt like a SLAP to the FACE!!!
This whole video helped me see how I am both an ENFP and an Enneagram 4. The constant masking leading to be around other people leads to major identity issues and the victim mentality of being in the feelings.
Love your content... always! I SO want to see this for INFPs, also. (Am an INFJ, but some of my very closest people are ENFP and INFP).
I am really enjoying watching your videos! As someone in her 40's just coming to realize who she is, it is wonderful to see someone so young and full of excitement about her own mental health and well being. I found myself nodding along with you going yes I do that or hmm need to work on that as you were talking. Keep up the great work!
Right - I commented, "... what is meant by young here could be 30-40+ .. not arguing with it, just noting." Content is wonderful for all.
Wow, this was really great! I will definitely subscribe! I'm an INFJ who has been through a lot, faced a lot and overcome a lot. I would consider myself fairly mature and healthy even though I'm hard on myself and beat myself up a lot. I was recently close to someone I suspect was an ENFP, I really felt connected to this person, I feel I was my authentic self maybe a bit off-putting. I guess they were not in a healthy place. I tried to be very supportive, uplifting and I wish them the best! This brought in a lot of perspective with general psychology attributes perfectly articulated into the context!
When I have the energy I am either the life of the party or I contribute to it. I can get along with just about anybody, and I also try to see everything from all the perspectives that I can. So many different pathways make sense that I don't feel dishonest around people for behaving differently. My act changes a bit like a stand up routine, but I always feel true to myself when I'm entertaining others.
I'm an INFP with a very dear ENFP friend. Very interesting, in-depth video that gives me insight into my friend. ❤
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this is violently helpful.
I absolutely want to see how I can be authentic without being off-putting
I think I have seen damn near just about every one of your videos and idek if I have ever left a comment but I just want you to know as a fellow ENFP girl…. You have helped me think things through so much in ways that I didn’t know I needed at the time and idk you personally but I love and adore what you do so much.. Thank you.
"Killing it."
Curious phrase
Mason R
1 second ago
Underrated channel and content. Please please keep going Heidi, you have been so helpful to me on my life journey. I had to mature very fast and suddenly this year after starting a company with my roommate. Almost all of these touches in some way on the skills I've begun needing to learn in this process, and clarified them to me so I can hopefully continue to grow in these areas even more. Thank you!
Awesome video Heidi. Thank you very much hope you and your loved ones are well. ❤️❤️❤️
as an enfp , you made so much eye contact, that through out the video i was watching your beautiful gem eyes
I like this video, and it's interesting how easily it translates to entp's. The driving function is different here and there, but we basically deal with the same things.
And the point on health applies to everyone I guess.
Woooooow, this is sooooo enlightening! It shows how you have worked on you 👏🏻❤️
I just find your Videos so good! This is so inspiering , not only the content and informations that you are saying, but also to see you as someone who is really good at what they are doing so naturally.
I love you too, thank you so much for the continual advice. I'm a 20 year old ENFP from South Africa and I greatly appreciate your work (I feel like I have a personality mentor).
Yay, first! Thanks for helping me understand my gf so much better, Heidi!
I am a fearful-avoidant healing towards securely attatched, bipolar, ENFP. And your videos are extremely helpful ❤❤ thank you so so much
I'm an INTJ 4W5 and "anxious/preoccupied". I'm a 53-year-old male American-born Irish Jew (yes, it's relevant). My ... friend? best friend? is a 27-year-old female, Mainland China-born ENFP, Avoidant/dismissive who's grown up here and is an American citizen. Those aren't irrelevant details: They describe our really weird, platonic (not my choice) friendship. Literally, she asks me for advice on her latest attempt at getting a bf and I DO try to give good advice! The thing is that I SEE how she sabotages herself. I see why. I'm combat-related PTSD that had to be dragged, kicking and screaming into therapy. Once I got it, though, I just adopted it as a framework; a way of understanding and talking about things.
I'm a INTJ and I get systems. When there's a problem, I either have a solution or find a solution. I found YOU and your videos are the answer to the problem.
Damned if I can grab her by the scruff of the neck and make her spend 20 minutes listening to anything you have to say. Not ENFP, Not Avoidant. Not why she's not happy and not getting what she wants, but always gets what she asks for.
We talk every day, but listening to you (and my therapist) I realize I'm out of my league. How do I ask questions that will lead her to looking for help? I am an INTJ Combat-related PTSD guy (LEAST likely to accept help) but she confounds me.
Normal for ENFPs to talk to people of all ages; the situation you describe sounds normal. The ENFP will discover - there are many ways to learn. Please don't expect you'll find "all" the answers, especially not for another - a lesson many learn painfully. Keep encouraging learning, small habit changes.
Thank you so much for this amazing video, as a fellow enfp I always feel empowered watching your videos
Thank you so much for this video! You have helped me so much with this video. I suffer from major depression and I am trying to overcome it….so I can use my strengths 🙏🙏🙏
You are talking my language sistaH!
Heidi... thank you for your time and this incredible gift. I'm sure that I'll be visiting this video (once a week!) or when I need a reminder. Thank you so much. Have your Survival book on Audio and have been subscribing to your videos for a while now. My love and very best wishes to you. Susan, Cape Town, South Africa.
Sustainable happiness
A new enfp video 😍😍
Loved your video! How you explained the pursuit of feeling good and avoiding feeling bad reminded me of the description about how an ADHD brains constantly wants to be stimulated to produce dopamine as less is present compared to non ADHD brains. - How did you integrate introverted sensing to be more healthy?
Yes, why it is easy to misdiagnosis an ENFP with ADHD. I've heard Heidi Piebe describe how ENFPs must grow the skill of reality checking our "fancies" - learn yourself, learn the world, check denial spots ... seems true for everyone, maybe ENFPs/INFPs have to increase frequency, possibly to the amount we dream. ...
amazing as always
I bought your book enfp survival guide. I can't wait to read it you seem really knowledgeable. Also your cute. Sorry shouldn't have said that.
Your content is amazing!! Thank you
I'm an ENFP superstar. And I would love the opportunity to chat with you for at least 30 min about mental health, growth, etc.
I'm in Japan so the time would have to be in the morning or late evening, but I believe I could inspire you too and we would both finish the meeting feeling encouraged.
Let me know if you're up for it!
Love this. As an INFP, I can relate to some of these. Can you do one though on healthy and unhealthy INFPs?
Sure! I'll get this ready for later this month or next :)
@@heidipriebe1 yay! Looking forward to it :)
ten seconds in and i'm already so distracted by your t-shirt and was trying to find a word. lol. i had to paused and commented this.
Lol apparently it lists the wages of the workers who built the Acropolis (I bought it at the Acropolis museum in Athens) but if you can read it please let me know what you find!
@@heidipriebe1 lol no wonder, i didn't find any word ofc, but i did imagine a word and i tried to focus and yep the word was just my imagination. thanks for clearing things up, btw ^^
This makes so much sense. Thank you Heidi
13:58 It's not their trust that i wanna earn, i just dont wanna be the target of their judgement
Thank you, I really needed this. ❤
I feel attacked by the last part. What you say sounds reasonable and doable, so let's see how it goes.
Another excellent video Heidi!
Love your contents so much. Thank you for doing this.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I needed this so much, I’ve been acting different them myself all the time around other people, and I’m so unhappy, and I’ve been looking for a solution, and I’ve finally found it! I’m doing all these bad things, and some of the good things I’ve been working toward! Some of them, though, are new and I realize I need to go after them!
Can you give advice on what to do instead of chasing the dopamine? I don’t really have friends to talk to often, and when I do, I don’t know what to talk about. I’ve been in victim mode all my life, and I’m always thinking about how no one else is like me and understands me. How do I not?
Thank you 🦸♂️
You are just amazing thanks you for this video we love you 💜💜
Aligned with natural energy
For me, I take a constant creator mode, but sometimes it’s recording a new song, making a new painting. Kind of mini-creator mode as I look for new opportunities to pick up something bigger. I’m raising a son, whose 12, so since I haven’t started my big organic farm plan yet, I’ve taken him to farms to volunteer all over the world. It’s hard to know when to go all in on a plan, because I’m aware at some level my life has been all over from a pH.D chemistry, research, then tutoring at risk kids, then painting studio Beijing, then raising my son, it’s never settled. I want to start my farm and have a yoga studio but it feels really scary to commit to a plan with what I perceive to be little flexibility.
The not being your true self comes of bad depends on how good you're at it. I had one of my best friend believe I wasn't really sensitive until years later where we both did the test together. He told me he never realised how different I am on the inside
Loved your video :)
- A Fellow ENFP
Really enjoyed this video. Thanks 😊
I would like to see a video on when an ENFP is confronted with chronic health issues that have no hope of getting better. (I put this at the top because long video reply) I have chronic health challenges and don't have the physical energy I did to seemlessly go from one activity/social encounter to another. I need to rest more and to manage my time more, which is a "wah, I don't wanna!" I know at some point, I'm going to have to let some things slide, and I'm just delaying that and getting more exhausted.
In relation to this video...
I'm an ENFP who daily has been running the gauntlet of rules and regulations (taxes, insurance things, contracts...). I have to stop any creative flow because I have to i.e. do various paperwork, learn new software systems instead of getting my actual work done on the old ones which worked perfectly well. I feel as though my creativity is being stifled at every turn. It's wearing me down, and as a result I'm doubting my ability to make good decisions. And I'm definitely starting to exhibit ISTJ traits.
Simultaneously, I'm at the point where I am living many things that I want and, mostly, with people I like. This is so awesome, but has also become somewhat of a "may you get what you want" curse. I feel trapped by the wonderful things now, and the juggling I'm doing to maintain all of them is draining me instead of feeding me (chronic health issues are a big factor too), as I'm often forgetting about things until a deadline approaches and panic sets in. And I want time to explore new things instead, and there doesn't seem to be time.
If only there weren't so much arbitrary paperwork at every turn, I would have more energy to enjoy my life more, and do them better because I won't be rushing through them so much. I'm missing the deep dive that illuminates all, as such.
Thanks for your video!
Wow 🤩 I love this!!! Thank you!
Thanks girl.
Te amo Heidi Priebe
We want a vedio about ENFP and reading
Can you explain more specifically what you’d be interested in hearing about when it comes to this topic? Always happy to talk about reading!
Excellent video!!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼
Merci Heidi +++
I'm suffering a LOT as an ENFP :( This helps.
completely unrelated, you have beautiful eyes!
Well done on this. Namaste.
Selectively honest vs radically transparent
You have saved my life
Awww this is amazing!
Avoid discomfort vs pursue purpose
I have an ex who is an ENFP that I just had to cut off from my life because of her unhealthy state. At its worst, it's a sad sight to see because I know what she's capable of and just how wonderful she can be as a person. But she struggles with facing the harsh truths of reality and runs from discomfort like her life depends on it. She plays victim to life and refuses to take on her own life path in order to reach her full potential. She has become manipulative in a way that's endangered a few people's lives a few times, and mine too one day. Which is why I've had to cut her off. I've done quite a lot of work on my own mental well-being as an INFJ, and one thing I've learnt from that path is that you can't save people who don't wanna be saved. It's better to rescue yourself from them before they drag you down with them. But, considering how much she meant to me once upon a time, it's not easy to accept that I just have to watch her lead herself to ruin and not be able to do anything about it. I want to hold on to the hope that she will finally find her way to her best self and do the work towards self-improvement, but it's hard when I consider just how dangerously she's been living lately. By the time she wakes up, it might even be too late for her to actually save herself. Given she's got a daughter (not mine, of course) -I fear the child is going to be the biggest victim to this state of hers than anyone else. Which I've already seen happen before she finally decided to send the child off to her mother. How does one help in a situation like this without putting yourself up for ruin in the process?
Dear fellow INFJ, I resonated so much with your message as an INFJ surrounded by ENFP family members. I've spent a lifetime's worth of energy trying to help them, and you are right, some people just do not want to be saved because the victim mode is easier at the moment for them. It's a struggle to let them lead their own lives, especially when you don't want them to harm their children.... but ultimately they must make their own choice in life. Sending love and light on your journey x
@@Abulina09 Yeah, you're right. Thank you.
I go deep on the most important topics.... theology. I effectively stand my ground against followers of Abraham.
Hey Heidi! Super valuable info as always!! Ι absolutely have to share this with the ENFPs of my life!!! I have an idea to offer and a (irrelevant to this video) question.
1. I've read about Levels of Development in "The Shadows of Type, Psychological Type Through Seven Levels of Development" by Angelina Bennet. Check it out, maybe you could make a video out of this model.
2. I've read on the MBTI manual that the Person-Centered approach seems more fitting for ENFPs while the Cognitive-Behavioral approach seems more fitting for INTJs. So, what's the therapeutic approach of your current therapist and how satisfied are you? What's your experience regarding the various therapeutic approaches?
I’m an enfp and Cognitive Behavior works best for me. I am highly passioned by understanding the biological aspects of behavior, and neuroscience is my drug. Haha
I think it’s case by case
@@DeemaA-me6xl agree
Beautiful work
Love this video!
Awesome.
Just thank's
can you make a video of the authentic vs. off putting? I feel like I swing back and forth from being too people pleasing to brutally honest (and off putting) and I want to be balanced
Yes. I feel my authentic self is TOO MUCH.
Ok, the masking got to me. I am a chameleon. Usually this is okay because I can read the room pretty quickly and know "my audience", but I have realized I do this because I don't feel up to par with others and that most people are just inherently better than me. I understand intellectually that this is not the case, but years of being miss understood and told I think differently than most has really affected most of my interactions.
Do INFPs have the same journey? I cant figure out if im an anxious isolated ENFP or INFP. My gut feels like ENFP is the energy level I imagine myself as but social anxiety makes it hard to tell
I'm INTJ. So I didn't really understand too much about ENFPs before watching this. Yet, ENFPs come up like this "match" for INTJs. I can see some differences that I can appreciate. And the healthy and unhealthy gives me more understanding of your type and my type even. I'm 48 and funny enough I see my Se growing all the time. I'm actually in a job that requires Se most of the time. Or an aspect of it. Se uses to be a huge insecurity for me, but I'm at peace with it and having a healthy Ni-Se balance. I like your talk about Fi in this video and Fi trips me up. I try to make room for it, but I allow Te to manage it and listen to it. In the past, if I didn't like Fi was bringing to the table I would have Te try to shut it down completely which was not healthy. :)
Amazing content
Watching this video for the 3rd time 💃
I quickly lose interest in an unhealth/immature ENFP. But the mature/healthy ENFPs are captivating. /intj