Personally, as an ENFP, I think the whole lack of self confidence thing could partly come from a fear of becoming arrogant, cocky or condescending. Because I hate those type of people.
Same tho 😂, it's just the way he describes the negative traits is like he is saying "hey, we are human and humans aren't meant to be perfect" is really nice. 😁
I try to rope that in. I don't like going to that dark side. Yes we are quick, but it's a drain for us and brings me to a dark place. I like to maintain my carefree demeanor by shutting that down.
I agree on this. I would take on a bullet for others BEFORE but if they did something too much to me, it will be really bad. When I started to focus and love myself I dont let others take advantage on me anymore.
you know that you’re a really ENFP when watch this video and cant stop thinking “OMG he is just so cute trying to explain myself” hahaha but yeah, i love INTJ, its like a “mind click” that i cant explain too. But also, this video is so accurate!
As an enfp female, i feel like when im too confident its beacuse i have adhd and when i get hyperfixated on something i learn a lot about it so i i get confident, but after that rush, theres a drop beacuse i think im too arrogant so i become doubtful
You definitely know us. ENFPs DO have a dark side because we have found that people will take advantage of us. We seem to be an easy mark because of our outgoing nature. But we are underestimated by those people. If pushed too far, yes, I want revenge. I think we are very good with words, love to laugh, love to see our friends reach their full potential, but I don't really think about reaching my own. Also, I don't feel that others want me to reach my potential and sometimes feel like I don't get the love back that I give to others, even though I probably do.
I relate so much, my past relationships were usually toxic but for some reason I still stayed, (until I put my foot down) my mom says I need to be more of a bitch, but I don’t have the heart to be like that..
I'm not a person who premeditates revenge. I studied myself in this regard. I forgive and pursue peace when someone screws me once. Twice. Then the third time they screw me I confront them hard and in their face and make the whole room blow up. Then I walk off. Like "so now do you want peace or what?" They usually leave me alone after that and gain a bunch of respect for me. I've been through that cycle with people dozens of times. But no way in hell do I get alone by myself and plot revenge. I cant occupy my mind with such things. My revenge will be impulsive and immediate depending on how far I've been pushed. As far as others worrying about me as much as I do them. I feel you. But I've come to just expect that the only one who's gonna be there for me at the end of the day is myself. So I just live with that mindset. So then no hard feelings towards others. I understand that they dont understand.. but it did hurt more in my younger years before I came into that mindset. Also I think one way that can help you deal with it. Is instead of waiting for them to call you or see you. Just go see them. If they love you they will greet you warmly and you'll feel better. You know? Maybe we were just ment to be the pursuers not the ones being perused and we should accept that it's just the way it is. Whatever helps.
sometimes I think like that, but sometimes I also think that the cause is also me. If only I gave sincere love and support, I wouldn't ask other people to do the same. and in the end I do good just for myself, but sometimes I also feel it's unfair not to expect to be treated better. :(
What you said about ENFPs caring more about others than themselves, or not seeing themselves as special, I think that really hit the nail on the head. I'm an INTJ with an ENFP friend, and she'd take a bullet for others, but doesn't care about her own happiness sometimes, and it's frustrating.
Personally, I don't fuss about myself cos I know life moves on and it doesn't really matter, but when you protect your friends and hold out for them, defending them, I feel like my life has a positive contribution to it and that my existence is justified by the fact it's not just about me, but it's about the greater picture as a whole. I want my life to be for others as it's what I value. I think people that can focus on what they're doing are great too, it's just maybe I want to be a little part of their success? Even if I don't get any credit, I'd like to know that they've done well with my help, with or without praise to me. What I get doesn't matter, I get out of others. Dunno if any of that makes sense 😂😅
ENFP here. I tried a thought experiment some time ago that maybe you can try on your ENFP friend which she will probably love because it involves imagination and it's hypothetical. The question is this: If a complete same age duplicate of yourself was made with all memories intact. Basically another you. Would you treat it better, equal or worse than yourself? Remind her that she can't help anyone if she is depressed and that it starts with herself and then others. Remind her that she is a good person even if it doesn't seem like she believes you. Especially if she doesn't believe you
@@mikeespain Yea I don't understand it either but it just feels uncomfortable knowing that there's someone who needs your help and you know it can do them good so this small inconvenience on our part is nothing compared to the growth and/or positivity they would receive
@@olasundahl6130 the idea which helped me best for now was: treat yourself as a friend and with the same respect and love as for anyone else, at least 😅
The reason that we don't make the whole plan is that we have such a poor sense of timing. You are conscious of time passing. We don't. Some of us were raised by cruel parents who didn't care that we were even born. Thats why we may not be completely confident. Just keep encouraging us. It means the world to us when you do. !!
I mean that an hour can seem like 15 minutes. Getting older and wiser doesn't seem to help either. If I am to get to work on time, I set alarms and tell myself that I need to be there 30 minutes before I actually do. I must trick myself. For you it comes naturally
As an ENFP, I can totally relate to the poor sense of timing. I have to set alarms to remind me to do things and at times if I'm not feeling it, I can rationalize that I'll have time later to do it..OMG, it's painful...lol...But I'm getting better at understanding how time and energy works. I think it's because our minds are up there in the abstract and our bodies need to be taken care of but we aren't great at introverted sensing :/ As for the cruel parents, I can relate as well. But..the great thing about being an ENFP is that we can see both the dark and light side of the issues and question things. I watched this video like 4 years ago and am just beginning to have the authentic self confidence. th-cam.com/video/w-HYZv6HzAs/w-d-xo.html There is still hope! What I do practice more often is Self compassion because it's annoying to me that I get sidetracked so easily and being kind to myself isn't natural given the upbringing.
ENFP male here. The part where you said you see us as intelligent, funny, amazing, awesome but we don’t necessarily see that in ourselves was spot on. We need someone to tell us what our positives are because we’re not very good at recognizing or seeing our own strengths. Great video and great perspective brotha.
as an INTJ i would fully support that an provide you with a perfect plan to get back at them as much as you need :D you are probably right in your judgment anyway!
ENFP's amuse me, they're all highly intelligent, open minded, memelords and funny, and I can feel free to express my thoughts and emotions with them around (I'm an INTJ).
Idk why but this made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Even the negatives. I feel like I can relate to everything you’re saying. About the revenge though, I’m very impulsive, and in the heat of the moment, I want to hurt someone for what they did to me, bad, but if you let me calm down and give me space, it will be healed in a short amount of time, and I’ll forgive you. (Anywhere from several minutes, haha, to a week.) So I guess I’m quick to get angry, but I also forgive easily. Btw I'm an ENFP
I'm an ENFP and couldn't agree more. And I'll even go further: I'd say it's impossible for me not to forgive. Also people often say that I'm scary when I get angry but it's been ages since I last felt any type of anger, in fact I never get mad, I just feel disappointment or sadness instead.
I feel like whenever I'm angry, in the heat of the moment I'm gonna be really mad at that person and mean to almost anyone that annoyed me. But after that, I feel so bad afterwards because I hurt their feelings too
You look like a very healthy INTJ, but with a well-developed Fi. You have a strong Fi, i can see that from your gestures. What a perfect combination. It’s sweet. And cute. Lol
As an ENFP, we are very conscious of what people think of us. We do tend to do more for others and it can be frustrating for our friends if we divulge insecure feelings because no one can convince us otherwise. If someone insults us or hurts us we take it to heart. The dark side that we have is more angled to ourselves however, we hate that we cant really feel malice towards those who hurt us and inherently feel the need to overcompensate when returning fire. We dont like being told we're weak. Maybe its different for some but my biggest faults are my insecurity
I disagree on caring about what people think. I'm aware of what they might think but I learned not to care. Everything else is so spot on. Overcompensating can be like you said a defense mechanism when we find out that we are being exploited by others and this is a violation of our values of friendship.
"There's never a full plan with an ENFP" SO TRUE!😂I just love being spontaneous I usually leave the boring stuff like planning and caring to my best friend 😂 Sometimes I feel like we're all just being babysat 😂😂
Appreciate the perspective. I appreciate what you’re saying about the self confidence. It’s taken people like you that value our traits and point them out that make a difference. Over time I’ve become more confident because of that. Thanks.
Felt the same way. That tender heart-full voice makes me wanna take you under my arm and protect you from any of the harm the world might ever toss at you. Hope that doesn't sound condescending and I'm sure you wouldn't need protection to begin with. I Feel the same with my little brother which I suspect is a INTJ as well. Thanks for all the compliments by the way. I have a hard time accepting compliments irl
I’m ENFP & my friend is INTJ , i like your video it’s truly accurate, and idk why but i see all the intj as cute creatures even you idk if its the way of u guys talking or actions but i can see that all of you have a lil child inside and thats so adorable
I wish I had an intj or a thinker in my life. Just cause I feel like they could help me pull my life together.... (it’s a hurricane of emotions and problems.)
I am an INTJ and you described ENFPs exactly as I would. I never use the word magical, other than describing an intimate relationship with an ENFP girl. ENFPs are a perfect match with INTJs, but I think both need to be mature for the relationship to last. The pitfalls are few, but they can be deadly to the relationship if both are very young and immature. Excellent analysis. Yet again I am amazed watching other INTJs come to the exact same conclusions that I did. I knew where you were going before you said it.
I am an ENFP male and I would say the part about not wanting to hammer down plans comes from the fear of having to break those plans and hurting the feelings of the other person or our own. If i made a date next week, and something comes up, not better per se, but just unexpected (a flat tire, got the flu, got called into work) etc., then i would have to cancel and that would make me feel super guilty. The future for us is too wide open to possibility and i think we evaluate possibilities on a constant basis. So constant, in fact, that until the very moment something happens, we aren't sure it will happen the way we think it will or have planned it, or it could result in something even outside of our perceived possibilities. i genuinely think this is why ENFPs are starters and not finishers. We see so much potentiality that it's hard to narrow that down into the result we desire. I do agree with the dark side about being hurt and wanting to hurt them back. The saddest part of this is that when we choose to hurt someone back, it hurts us even more, because we care so much about other people, hurting them feels deeply wrong. We aren't a type that can live with compromising our own moral compass just to get even. We may do it out of sheer emotional surrender, but we will definitely feel horrible about it and probably apologize first. Just my thoughts! Great video. Keep making them!!!!
There are of course variations. A more stable INTJ will often be very happy to let you do your own thing, as that gives them their desired alone time. I encourage my ENFP fiance to live her own life apart from me, because it gives me time to recharge, and interesting things to talk about when we're home together. I could see why an INTJ could end up being controlling, but I think that's more of a personal issue with trust, as when we trust our partner, we have no reason to want to control anything. I'm not blaming you btw, just saying that your previous relationship with an INTJ was probably with someone who had underlying psychological issues with things like self esteem.
I am an ENFP. I'm 45, and I've been an ENFP forever. Thank you for uploading this. One of my best (and longest) friends is an INTJ. It gave me a perspective on him and our business/friendship interactions. He often calls me for advice or my intuition on something. I heard all of your post and I really liked it (esp. the positive stuff!). I'd like to give you my perspective on the revenge thing you mentioned (!)... My INTP husband (we've been together 25 years!) and my INTJ business colleague (we've known each other 25 years!) have noticed this, BUT, it's not revenge: It's hard core values being shown. So.... if someone ignores or disrespects a deep value -- it will be addressed. My husband said to me relatively recently: "I really like how you represent your values..." What he meant by this was that I represent them with good humour, jokes, back-handed compliments by way of introduction, but if someone really, really pushes the limit, my tone will change to: "OK! That's enough. We've reached the limit!" but I wouldn't call it mean-ness per se. It's more like: "You have to respect me as I respect you..." If they can't, having the friendship or relationship dissolve is actually devastating. None of it is calculated or revengeful. I think that, often, people think ENFPs are bubbly, inspiring, sparkly people -- which they are -- but they also adhere to some pretty important things... which makes them awesome life partners and business partners, and we are sooooo loyal, we LOVE you. You can trust us with your INTJ life. And they do. Thank you for reading :)
Rachel Morse ah this!!! Agreed that we can totally flip the switch when our values are on the line; I’ve been told that I turn into a completely different person in those cases, I.e. not my usual friendly self because I will engage in firmly arguing my point of view.
In response to the last point about being comfortable. I think that deep down, that is the light at the end of tunnel that ENFPs all work towards. If I had pure confidence in myself I think I'd be pretty unstoppable as I've had it for brief periods and it's truly amazing. Very rare for me though haha
U've strong Fi, you're really talking using ur Ni-Fi combination, that's why u seem not prepared in ur talking and can't explain clearly how u feel, I like it so much 💜💚🧡💛 It's a big evidence of real Love. It's just like my INTJ friend, when he talks with me, in so much sensitive discussion, he just block the Te parent-Ti critic, he would tell me, u're... Idk why it's like this, and I won't use logic here 🥺🥺🥺So cute guys, I love u 💚💚💚
Wow, I don't know that INTJ can be this CUTE! I'm an INFP and ENFP but more on the E side. I would say it's intriguing to know I think the love of my life is an INTJ too, and the way we attracted each other was like a magnet that took years to actually met one another and be lovers. I love him still, he loved me fully when he expressed I could feel it. We broke up because I hurt him emotionally sometimes without even realising my act. And it only made me so mad because of his logic cold attitude towards me that got me think he had something else in his mind or that criticism really didn't make sense to me why he would take on me like that. He thought the same way that I have a dark dark side, those are emotions and events that to me I didn't want to remember at all because I am a future-oriented person with full positivity, and it was a real frustration and depression that I could not talk it out to him which still it's haunting me. Wrong timing always makes us apart. He also thought I had a destructive personality which I really don't think it is that destructive. When he sees the emotion and showing emotion is weak, to us it's a strong act that took a lot of braveness to show. I think that's where the opposite doesn't meet. But I love him still very much, very very much. He has the most respect from me out of all the people I dated, with all of my heart. We are not with each other no more. I just hope he is happy now because he deserves to be happy even I'm not in the picrture anymore. He also gave me a lot of trips to the guilt island hahaha! But I don't mind, I love those trips, he made me grow up from those trips with him. I miss the time of us, but whatever passed by, it happened the way it happened, for a reason. We will just let it be.
I'm an ENFP, and I think you are absolutely adorable! Everything you said was so spot on! There is also something about the way INTJs talk, the delivery, hearing the cogs in the brain turning as you consider every word to describe your thoughts...none of which are wasted. You see us so well. We fall in love with you because deep down, we all want to be known. You understand us, and we are known and feel appreciated for being who we are. We sense you think we are wonderful. We are seen. Likewise, we are in awe of your mind. We have fallen in love with you as a person. You are unique, and we enjoy experiencing your thoughts. We understand you, yet we love to debate you. It drives you intellectually deeper into the conversation, and we love it. You have a beautiful mind. We know there is no one else like you. 😊
INTJ here. All of these are very true! My ENFP fiance is such a warm bubbly person to be around. I like my plans but she is very go with the flow. It has gotten to me sometimes, but we have worked together on it. Sometimes I need to just chill and not think about everything so much. I really like how we can just explore our thoughts and be open-minded when it comes to ideas. She wants the world to be a perfect place and when there is wrongdoing she will not let it slide(lol bad road rage). I have seen how she can be the most supportive person, but not see the value of herself.
Assuming you're still alive, I'd love to see another video. You're really eloquent and it's clear that you think deeply. I think the video wasn't completely scripted yet you delivered some pretty solid points. Also nice voice.😂❤
Honestly when I saw the thumbnail I thought this was going to be a really dramatic video but let me just say after two seconds of watching this you are the sweetest bean alive
I'm stressed, as an ENFP, by watching your stress and deep hurt/frustration about how ENFP's don't commit to plans. I'm not mean ^_^ I don't want revenge. Here comes the refusal to be boxed into a subtype. You seem super intuitive and this video was a joy to watch.
We love you too! Also, personally, my lack of self confidence comes from people not accepting me for who I am. Or I feel I come across as too weird so I always feel I have to downplay who I am as a person. My INTJ boyfriend has helped me so much in realizing other people’s opinions of me hold no weight, especially if they are trying to make me into something I’m not. INTJs are too precious for this world. I couldn’t believe how genuine you guys are and how fair. It’s beautiful really.
Thank you for being honest about us ENFP's. Yes we are carefree, we love deep and meaningful conversations about anything and everything. We naturally have people that usually don't open up, open up about things to us. We love it when people open up to us. With plans, we don't like to make plans, we like to go with the flow most times, but we actually do know how to make plans. You're right about our dark side, because of our 'F' we're sensitive and if someone really make us angry, we get angry to a point not for revenge, but we get angry and put our foot down so the other person won't do it again to us. We are not like this all the time, but we are emotionally sensitive. We are actually confident in ourselves and are resilient, by overcoming struggles quite quickly because we like to remain joyful. I have more INFJ friends than INTJ's but I would like to have INTJ friends ❤️
I'm an ENFP. I think that the ENFP type can become very narcissistic if we have too much self confidence. I think we tend to use our intuition to read others' through their body language and conversation, and we are incredible at making others feel at ease. Even when it may be a little harder for us to feel as comfortable. Also, I personally like to have things planned out more when I meet up with friends. I don't necessarily need to know everything we might do, because spontaneity is fun for me, but I want more details so that I know how to plan for it. That doesn't really sound very ENFP, but some of us prefer it. Personally, my judging and perceiving characteristics are almost 50/50, however, I dislike being judged by others, so I try to not judge others. I can be at work or somewhere, and out of nowhere, someone will start gossiping and talking about other people, and it usually bothers me ever so slightly, because I feel like it's nobody's place to judge others. I mean, you don't know their situations, and if you're talking about other people, what are you saying about me when I'm not around? I do try to judge certain situations so that I stay safe, and don't get into trouble. I think for me, that is the splitting boundary of my judging and perceiving. I know I said a lot. Thanks for this video!
Good observations of enfps. 😊 I am one and my boyfriend is intj. We do tend to get more balanced and confident with age. It’s a great match for long term.
I love hearing your insights. Yes, ENFPs are hardest on themselves AND give limitless opportunities to people. So the dark side exists on a deep level, an alter ego of sorts who is prepared to fight for self-preservation, defend against perceived enemies of the future, and sometimes ... if the wound is great enough ... punish to restore balance (but we can take a lot upon ourselves and we have the ability to completely destroy but choose the begging for mercy option for frenemies). Self-confidence takes a long time for ENFPs to master, so you’ll see us mature later than other types in that way. And yes, we adore INTJs! The way you think and operate is refreshing and comforting. You are like us - outside in! I know when I’m in the presence of an INTJ because usually within five or so minutes of meeting you, I’m laughing!! Like genuinely tickled (no other type can do this for us). And I think our intuitions immediately recognize one another, our extroverted version drawing your masterminded genius out of its shell. When an INTJ and an ENFP join forces, a formidable team is formed (just need to keep a sensor somewhere in the general vicinity to break any analysis paralysis and to point out the obvious simple missed solution or detail).
This is such a great video! 😄 I'm an enfp and married to an intj, and it's such a great match! We definitely have our differences, but we learn from each other and help each other which makes a person grow:) I'm so bad at follow through when I begin a project, so my husband is so helpful for that. You guys are truly wonderful people, too! We do have a dark side, yes🙈. I have a frightful temper because it's hard to supress our feelings (always working on that😋). Anyways! Great video and God bless!
My boyfriend's an INTJ; INTJs are adorable people, they're just like us. Super Creative, wants to be carefree too, wants to be able to express themselves normally and openly; and to be understood. It's very similar traits as we ENFPs are. Most ENFPs are very Ambivert---and people think we're high and have cracked ADHD problems lmao.. The only difference that does causes issues, INTJ works better with a plan. While ENFP works better when going with flow. And if we were to switch routines it causes us to become overwhelmed and stressed haha xD Edit: i do have a dark side. I am easily manipulated and hurt by people quite frequently. I always see and want to see the best of all people i come across. Unfortunately no one's completely a great person.. my INTJ boyfriend usually goes on protective mode whenever i do actually get hurt and betrayed; even though he and i usually argue a lot- he doesn't like it when i get into chaotic arguments with other suspicious people. I'm ngl INTJs are scary when they're on protective mode o _o but we do very much appreciate feeling safe and protected. 🥺 But there is a time if someone disrespects me ir my friends or underestimate my mental intelligence. They're absolutely gonna have it coming for them in a split second lol.
Spot on! Some insight on the Dark side… We make decisions based on a very strong set of internal morals. In addition, we want to be champions for others, especially those who have stood by us. If you violate my sense of morality or if you threaten the people I love, I will tear you apart. That’s when logic overcomes my emotion, the hippie side goes away, and the empathy turns into x-ray vision to see people’s weaknesses. Others don’t usually see this side, but once they do they understand me a little bit better. While it can be petty, think of it as protectiveness rather than vengefulness. Also, I see harmony between this and the friendliness. Justice and fairness matter, and standing up for what’s right when necessary helps me to stay open and optimistic the rest of the time. Helpful?
Self-confident ENFP right here, my best friend is too, life is good. Our personality allows us to influence people, so us being confident allows us to make all those around us more confident. We learned to be confident, it was hard but now it’s awesome and we can make people awesome too 😊🥳
I'm not an ENFP but, I love the way you pause to really reflect and collect your thoughts before speaking. It's such an endearing quality! Really wish I knew an INTJ irl - I feel like we'd have amazing conversation! -from a fellow INFP :)
ENFP here. I really enjoyed your assessment. Just to let you know it is possible to be confident and still an ENFP. You're absolutely right about us being very happy and charismatic while also having a "dark side". My self-confidence is typically kept in check because of my introspective nature. I'm not vengeful or malicious but I'm very matter-of-fact when something is unacceptable. I have no problems putting up boundaries. Also, I like solid plans. Mostly, because I'm confident in my ability to communicate if things change or what plans I'm wrestling with in my head, so as to never surprise the people I have plans with. To me, that's just being considerate but I don't believe that trait is specific to ENFPs. Thanks for your insights. Keep up the videos!
The lack of planning thing pisses me off too, even though I am ENFP. I loose interest when I can't set with someone the exact date, hour, place of our meeting. I take it as a respect thing, since I also have different things going on/planned.
Great job on you first video. I love your honesty and kindness. As an ENFP I can definitely say INTJs are lovely and imaginative companions! I hadn’t really thought of the dark side of revenge but going wasaaay back to my teenage years, I did imagine and unpleasant fate to someone who had been extremely hurtful. It was cartoony and not realistic, but I remember feeling just AWFUL in my body. I kinda shook myself out of it, and resolved to not be that way again. I attribute mindfulness and meditation to healing the shadow side of being a deep feeling being. Thanks for the sharing.
Omg the thing about ENFP's having a dark side- SO TRUE, and i didn't even recognize it until he said it, just shows how compatible ENFP's are with INTJs OMG even the confidence thing- SPOT ON
When you said that we make "half-plans" I laughed out loud. I am terribly guilty of the "half-plan" lol. & for me personally it is not because I am holding out for a "better plan" to come along per say, but more so because I don't know how I will be feeling internally that day or in the future. If that day comes along & I am feeling terribly introverted, I may want to back out. I am no fun to be around when I am internally conflicted. I would never try to make someone feel like they are my second option. I guess it just comes off that way. & absolutely we have a dark side! Why do you think that Robin Williams killed himself? (bad example, I know) I am a firm believer in an eye for an eye. I would *NOT* wrong someone until they have wronged me first. At which point I feel like I am free to wrong them in the same way they wronged me. I'd say that fair is fair. I think it is because we feel such a strong connection to certain people, "betrayal" in a sense is unacceptable to us. BTW I loved listening to you describe me almost perfectly! You do know your ENFP's! Edit: As an ENFP, I would say that I am overly confident. So maybe it was just my upbringing or life experiences caused me to be that way. No lack of self confidence here! ;)
Yo, I liked this! I have had conversations about my perspective on ENFPs and totally agreed with this. I am an INFJ and I was raised by an ENFP and my sister is, I have many in my life as friends as well. And it’s good to list negatives and positives from your perspective, I like hearing it and I think other types might like to hear it. Hopefully ENFP peeps won’t be offended and can just find it interesting to hear perspective. You seem very sweet and carful with your words and I loved that.
I’m an ENFP and I agree with your video! Just an FYI: I keep my plans open not because I think I might cancel on the person but because I like to keep our day’s activities open. I’m very loyal to my loved ones and I will miss out on a once in a life time event because I already have plans with someone. But if someone tells me the day, time and place. I don’t mind really. Feel free to exercise your planning needs because we’re pretty easy going. I think the dark side of revenge your talking about lessens as we get older and more mature. When I was younger I was more sensitive to hurtful people but now that I’m older I’m too busy to deal with other people’s mistakes and I’m very comfortable with myself to understand that if someone makes a mistake towards me it’s on them, not me. They’ll have a tough road ahead because of their own faults and I just need to be aware of their negatives and move forward with my life. The self esteem thing I’m still working on lol but your video is very sweet and honest so thanks for sharing!
Aww you're so sweet! One thing though, and maybe it's just me, but I'm an ENFP and totally recognise the not making whole plans thing. But I promise it's NOT because maybe something else comes along. That's actually kinda what people have been doing to me, cancelling last moment because something 'better' comes along, and that really, really hurts. I would never do that. It's just that planning's hard as fuck. xD Never considered that it might come across like that. Thanks for posting this video!
I love this, you actually had me crying at the end there, my hearttttt, when you said you value us more than we value ourselves I lost it that is so sweet. As an ENFP I do tend to not be as confident as I make myself out to be, I can get self conscious about many things and I there are many things that contribute to that but sometimes I don't understand it myself lol, but you just made my day, I love you INTJs, y'all literally the best. Thank you for this video.
Idk about you guys im an intj ok and i feel so home and myself and just like normal and natural when im around an enfp 🙈 and i feel like u guys are so trust worthy and i really really appreciate this also the way ur taking care about other peoples feelings this is heaven for me .
This is really sweet. And accurate. Nobody talks about our dark side. I have an INTJ brother. I dont really know how he feels about me ever. His response to all my i love yous is "no". So i really enjoyed this. 💕
As an ENFP... this is very true. I would also like to keep this comments section alive! About the making plans thing, I am awful at making plans and I agree with the "leaving details to the last second" thing. However, if a group of people are planning to meet up and there are no details, I will get everyone together and organize everything. The confidence thing really hits hard. I even find birthdays awkward because I am meant to be the special person and there is a cake for me... I have even now asked for a reduced price M&S pound cake each year. I am yet to find an INTJ counterpart but fingers crossed! This is extremely long, sorry!
Including myself (ENFP) and my ENFP friends, The thing you talked about keeping the options open for planning is such an ENFP trait. Dilemma is my biggest obstacle.
Your manner of speech reminds me so much of my INTJ boyfriend. I found myself leaning in just internally going "come onnnn" because I really wanna know what you have to say but INTJs take so much time express thoughts and feelings outloud. No matter what though I would never intterupt because I love my introverts so much and would never want to discourage their expression or miss out on something they're trying to say. (I'm ENxP by the way)
I'm an ENFP-A and I agree with what you said, both positive and negative. I think our empathy for others grounds us more than anything else. I definitely feel confident some days and not others and maybe because we see the 'big picture', that can also keep us from being too confident in ourselves and our abilities.
For the confident ENFP thing : I became confident mostly because of my supportive family but I still take it /extremely/ bad if someone belittles me and can get violent to hide that I'm hurt since being a "tough warrior" is part of what makes me confident. I compliment myself daily and try to look good for ME to feel good when I know I won't be in a situation I can fully control.
It's been a long time since i felt that someone was speaking for me lol I'm INTJ, my sister's ENFP and it's really similar how i feel 😄 Lol, i always used to find it frustrating when she would say she's not upset while look clearly botherd..😶
Very accurate video. You should make more, it's nice hearing your perspective on MBTIs (ENFPs in particular because I am one lol). But I LOVE INTJS, I mesh with them really well and you guys and INFJs are the only types I have met that I can just talk about anything with where it is an equal balance of talking in the conversation. I love your guys' insight and you guys' help keep my emotions in check and veer more into my logical side. And everything you said about ENFPs, don't worry you got it exactly right lol (even the lack of self appreciation or self confidence), it's interesting how aware you are of us. Make more, I'll definitely subscribe, I love MBTI videos !!!
This was So ..Good!! I wanted more :) Hello, I'm a mature ENFP :) You were right on!! Funny & Precious..❤❤❤ I love hearing your "Young, Beautful, INTJ perspective. So cute, so funny, so real! This was your First & perfect, video on the subject!!❤❤❤❤❤❤ I love studying MBI, also. Totally addicted
"You guys are not good at hiding feeling." Nope! Not at all. My former boss once told me, "I know when you forgot to do something. I can always read it in your face!" 😁
Fuck yeah! So glad I found your channel. Finally an INTJ in about the same age as myself that I can take part with/from, and learn and evolve. Thank you for being intelligent!
I think the reason why we don't like people crossing us is because we don't necessarily think about harming or becoming an inconvenience to others. So being taken advantage of or being mistreated really puts me off. Like, why would you do that?
You say, your more confident in Us..than we are if our selves.. It's also true, we see your beauty, more than you see it in ur self. That's a whole an other "why" we compliment each other❤
Your precious, genuine way of speaking touched me deeply. I agree with everything especially about the confidence part. I've been aware I'm very confident outside, but not so much confident being with myself. You seem to be a sweet heart. Take care and thanks for this awesome thought sharing, both in the sense of content and the way it was delivered in. Cheers //ENFP 2W3
The revenge part is spot on. I used to have revenge thoughts because I wanted to show the person what kind of suffering they were doing. No one deserves to be screwed over or cheated on
Speaking for myself as an ENFP I feel quite empathic of people's feelings, especially their insecurities. It helps me put them at ease and hopefully allow them to feel like themselves and accepted in for such. I want nothing more than for everyone to feel accepted and understood for who they are and be happy. TRULY happy. The dark side you're referring to is when something deeply offending has happened. Usually if someone is being unremorsefully unkind to others. Like a superpower used for purposes of evil, all those insecurities I've observed can be turned on them. Definitely takes a lot to get to that stage. More often than not things wash over me.
I'm an ENFP and you were right about the positives and the negatives!!! Hahaha. It's kinda sad what u said about our self-esteem but ur right. Good insights!
Do you think it is also a common trait in us to get overexcited about new people/places/situations? I love that you don't want to cut or edit your videos, it feels much more like the community TH-cam used to be, rather than the new form of TV that it has become. I hope you keep it up :)
The only thing I have to say about ENFP's is that....I can be rude and devilishly sarcastic they'll still consider that as a part of my charm, its annoying but I like that about them ♡
Omg you're sooooo adorable! I could notice that you were nervous recording this video but it's sooooo cute hahahha Everything you said was true!!! You really know ENFPs haha For me what really speaks louder is about not seeing our positives in ourselves.. yes.. sometimes I know I'm full of good qualities but I'm too insecure to believe in them, kinda? But it makes me soooo happy to know that such a smart person as an INTJ see us as intelligent makes me go woooohhh 😎 I value intelligence very very much and I love NTs for that, cause I think they are sooo intelligente aaa 🥰 I met an INTJ and since I met him I just felt comfortable, it's s so crazy. It was like I already met him '-' HAHAHA Thanks for loving us ^^ ❤️
No problem, I don't think what type you are defines intelligence, I just think ENFP and INTJ have a good mental connection which makes me percieve them as intelligent. Thanks for the comment :)
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Personally, as an ENFP, I think the whole lack of self confidence thing could partly come from a fear of becoming arrogant, cocky or condescending. Because I hate those type of people.
Same!
YES! Can 100% confirm!
yup
Yup
Completely agree
All the comments are extremely long... classic ENFPs! 😂
Lol I'm INFJ but that is so true
Lol
😂😂😂😂 Classic indeed.
Heyyyyy 💪😑❤
We just need to get it all out, or we might implode
Is it terribly ENFP of me to be totally charmed by the negative descriptions of my personality traits?! 😅
Accurate.
Well I feel the same so I guess it's okay😂
Same tho 😂, it's just the way he describes the negative traits is like he is saying "hey, we are human and humans aren't meant to be perfect" is really nice. 😁
Same here, ENFP.
HAHA SAME
Yes, we do have a dark side. We are very open emotionally. If someone takes advantage of that and hurts us...its on.
Not with me. I don't care what someone does to me I'm going to treat them as nicely as possible
I try to rope that in. I don't like going to that dark side. Yes we are quick, but it's a drain for us and brings me to a dark place. I like to maintain my carefree demeanor by shutting that down.
Everyone has a dark side, nothing to be ashamed of hun.
I totally agree to u
I agree on this. I would take on a bullet for others BEFORE but if they did something too much to me, it will be really bad. When I started to focus and love myself I dont let others take advantage on me anymore.
you know that you’re a really ENFP when watch this video and cant stop thinking “OMG he is just so cute trying to explain myself” hahaha but yeah, i love INTJ, its like a “mind click” that i cant explain too.
But also, this video is so accurate!
I bursted out laughing SOOOOO hard at the accuracy of this 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
cant agree nomore xDDDD
Exactly what I was saying the entire time he was trying to explain himself!!
Definitely 😂
hhahah yes, he is so cute when he does dat en he is kind o akward and thar sp cute
Even the negatives made me smile, because it feels like I’m being understood, and as an ENFP being understood is a rare experience. Love this video!
THIS. Enfps never feel that they are understood. So of course we love these types of videos.
Yes omgg
as an ENFP, i think this comment is so sad, but true lol...thanks for video btw
🫶🏽
I just wanna hug him 🤗.
Same with me
me tooo!
I want to eat him👩
@@asmamohammed1542 What do you mean? like literally eat him??? 🤔
Sometimes too confident
Sometime too doubtful
I know, right?
You hit the nail
Same here.
Nailed it
As an enfp female, i feel like when im too confident its beacuse i have adhd and when i get hyperfixated on something i learn a lot about it so i i get confident, but after that rush, theres a drop beacuse i think im too arrogant so i become doubtful
You definitely know us. ENFPs DO have a dark side because we have found that people will take advantage of us. We seem to be an easy mark because of our outgoing nature. But we are underestimated by those people. If pushed too far, yes, I want revenge. I think we are very good with words, love to laugh, love to see our friends reach their full potential, but I don't really think about reaching my own. Also, I don't feel that others want me to reach my potential and sometimes feel like I don't get the love back that I give to others, even though I probably do.
Tim Pulley I feel like this too man
😢😢😢
I relate so much, my past relationships were usually toxic but for some reason I still stayed, (until I put my foot down) my mom says I need to be more of a bitch, but I don’t have the heart to be like that..
I'm not a person who premeditates revenge.
I studied myself in this regard.
I forgive and pursue peace when someone screws me once. Twice. Then the third time they screw me I confront them hard and in their face and make the whole room blow up. Then I walk off. Like "so now do you want peace or what?"
They usually leave me alone after that and gain a bunch of respect for me. I've been through that cycle with people dozens of times.
But no way in hell do I get alone by myself and plot revenge. I cant occupy my mind with such things. My revenge will be impulsive and immediate depending on how far I've been pushed.
As far as others worrying about me as much as I do them. I feel you. But I've come to just expect that the only one who's gonna be there for me at the end of the day is myself. So I just live with that mindset. So then no hard feelings towards others. I understand that they dont understand.. but it did hurt more in my younger years before I came into that mindset.
Also I think one way that can help you deal with it. Is instead of waiting for them to call you or see you. Just go see them. If they love you they will greet you warmly and you'll feel better. You know? Maybe we were just ment to be the pursuers not the ones being perused and we should accept that it's just the way it is. Whatever helps.
sometimes I think like that, but sometimes I also think that the cause is also me. If only I gave sincere love and support, I wouldn't ask other people to do the same. and in the end I do good just for myself, but sometimes I also feel it's unfair not to expect to be treated better. :(
What you said about ENFPs caring more about others than themselves, or not seeing themselves as special, I think that really hit the nail on the head. I'm an INTJ with an ENFP friend, and she'd take a bullet for others, but doesn't care about her own happiness sometimes, and it's frustrating.
It's frustrating for us too, but I dunno we just do it and it's hard to understand why we do it sometimes but we still do it. I don't know It's weird
Personally, I don't fuss about myself cos I know life moves on and it doesn't really matter, but when you protect your friends and hold out for them, defending them, I feel like my life has a positive contribution to it and that my existence is justified by the fact it's not just about me, but it's about the greater picture as a whole.
I want my life to be for others as it's what I value. I think people that can focus on what they're doing are great too, it's just maybe I want to be a little part of their success? Even if I don't get any credit, I'd like to know that they've done well with my help, with or without praise to me. What I get doesn't matter, I get out of others.
Dunno if any of that makes sense 😂😅
ENFP here. I tried a thought experiment some time ago that maybe you can try on your ENFP friend which she will probably love because it involves imagination and it's hypothetical. The question is this: If a complete same age duplicate of yourself was made with all memories intact. Basically another you. Would you treat it better, equal or worse than yourself?
Remind her that she can't help anyone if she is depressed and that it starts with herself and then others. Remind her that she is a good person even if it doesn't seem like she believes you. Especially if she doesn't believe you
@@mikeespain Yea I don't understand it either but it just feels uncomfortable knowing that there's someone who needs your help and you know it can do them good so this small inconvenience on our part is nothing compared to the growth and/or positivity they would receive
@@olasundahl6130 the idea which helped me best for now was: treat yourself as a friend and with the same respect and love as for anyone else, at least 😅
OMFG the being a hippie part without looking like one is SPOT SPOT ON
The reason that we don't make the whole plan is that we have such a poor sense of timing. You are conscious of time passing. We don't. Some of us were raised by cruel parents who didn't care that we were even born. Thats why we may not be completely confident. Just keep encouraging us. It means the world to us when you do. !!
I mean that an hour can seem like 15 minutes. Getting older and wiser doesn't seem to help either. If I am to get to work on time, I set alarms and tell myself that I need to be there 30 minutes before I actually do. I must trick myself. For you it comes naturally
Victorious Joy wow 😮 🤚
It's not necessarily our parents but just people in general. I was bullied non stop for years and now I'm nice to people. What a world we live in
As an ENFP, I can totally relate to the poor sense of timing. I have to set alarms to remind me to do things and at times if I'm not feeling it, I can rationalize that I'll have time later to do it..OMG, it's painful...lol...But I'm getting better at understanding how time and energy works. I think it's because our minds are up there in the abstract and our bodies need to be taken care of but we aren't great at introverted sensing :/
As for the cruel parents, I can relate as well. But..the great thing about being an ENFP is that we can see both the dark and light side of the issues and question things. I watched this video like 4 years ago and am just beginning to have the authentic self confidence. th-cam.com/video/w-HYZv6HzAs/w-d-xo.html There is still hope! What I do practice more often is Self compassion because it's annoying to me that I get sidetracked so easily and being kind to myself isn't natural given the upbringing.
Victorious Joy THE WORST sense of time. Even with effort I feel like I need a 20/30 minute buffer for everything. 😂
ENFP male here. The part where you said you see us as intelligent, funny, amazing, awesome but we don’t necessarily see that in ourselves was spot on. We need someone to tell us what our positives are because we’re not very good at recognizing or seeing our own strengths. Great video and great perspective brotha.
We question ourselves so much . Even if the world sees how amazing we are, we continue to doubt ourselves
It’s not revenge, it’s justice :)
as an INTJ i would fully support that an provide you with a perfect plan to get back at them as much as you need :D you are probably right in your judgment anyway!
Yessssss
@@michellematsuoka1738 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love that
I heard this comment in the Batman voice. 🤣🤣🤣 ok i will c myself out
Agree, my friend. ENFP
ENFP's amuse me, they're all highly intelligent, open minded, memelords and funny, and I can feel free to express my thoughts and emotions with them around (I'm an INTJ).
Aww I LOVE THIS! Thaaaaaaanx 🎉
Idk why but this made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Even the negatives. I feel like I can relate to everything you’re saying. About the revenge though, I’m very impulsive, and in the heat of the moment, I want to hurt someone for what they did to me, bad, but if you let me calm down and give me space, it will be healed in a short amount of time, and I’ll forgive you. (Anywhere from several minutes, haha, to a week.) So I guess I’m quick to get angry, but I also forgive easily. Btw I'm an ENFP
Yes! That’s exactly what it’s like
I'm an ENFP and couldn't agree more. And I'll even go further: I'd say it's impossible for me not to forgive. Also people often say that I'm scary when I get angry but it's been ages since I last felt any type of anger, in fact I never get mad, I just feel disappointment or sadness instead.
TRUE
Spot on
I feel like whenever I'm angry, in the heat of the moment I'm gonna be really mad at that person and mean to almost anyone that annoyed me. But after that, I feel so bad afterwards because I hurt their feelings too
You look like a very healthy INTJ, but with a well-developed Fi. You have a strong Fi, i can see that from your gestures. What a perfect combination. It’s sweet. And cute. Lol
I noticed that too he has such a calm nature
As an ENFP, we are very conscious of what people think of us. We do tend to do more for others and it can be frustrating for our friends if we divulge insecure feelings because no one can convince us otherwise. If someone insults us or hurts us we take it to heart. The dark side that we have is more angled to ourselves however, we hate that we cant really feel malice towards those who hurt us and inherently feel the need to overcompensate when returning fire. We dont like being told we're weak. Maybe its different for some but my biggest faults are my insecurity
^and my fear of being wrong
Cristiana Kovacs that’s also my fear
I disagree on caring about what people think. I'm aware of what they might think but I learned not to care.
Everything else is so spot on. Overcompensating can be like you said a defense mechanism when we find out that we are being exploited by others and this is a violation of our values of friendship.
"There's never a full plan with an ENFP"
SO TRUE!😂I just love being spontaneous I usually leave the boring stuff like planning and caring to my best friend 😂 Sometimes I feel like we're all just being babysat 😂😂
only an INTx would make a video about what's wrong w/ his gf...
Rho Heta haha yep lol .
lol I can't argue with this
That’s an unfair slant on a balanced analysis of a personality type.
Rho Heta 😂
Lmfaoooo
Gaww, you're precious!
Thank you, I checked out your channel, you're adorable, love ENTP's.. until you get into a debate with them xD
intj is a lifestyle I think that's exactly when you'll learn to love us even more 😈
Intj is a great partner for entp...
You guys should explore that.
Just saying 😏
-enfp wingwoman
Appreciate the perspective. I appreciate what you’re saying about the self confidence. It’s taken people like you that value our traits and point them out that make a difference. Over time I’ve become more confident because of that. Thanks.
Felt the same way. That tender heart-full voice makes me wanna take you under my arm and protect you from any of the harm the world might ever toss at you. Hope that doesn't sound condescending and I'm sure you wouldn't need protection to begin with. I Feel the same with my little brother which I suspect is a INTJ as well. Thanks for all the compliments by the way. I have a hard time accepting compliments irl
The revenge thing is so true 😅 but we'd only imagine 1000 ways of exacting it and never follow through
I’m ENFP & my friend is INTJ , i like your video it’s truly accurate, and idk why but i see all the intj as cute creatures even you idk if its the way of u guys talking or actions but i can see that all of you have a lil child inside and thats so adorable
Yes my friend described me the same way before, thank you so much for the feedback :D
Aww 😊
Sameeee
INTJ = adorable
I'm an ENFP and I approve this message
Aaaaaaannnnnddddd........ Thats’s why my INTJ friend plans things for me!
You have a good friend
I wish I had an intj or a thinker in my life. Just cause I feel like they could help me pull my life together.... (it’s a hurricane of emotions and problems.)
My infp best friend just goes along with my outgoing flow hahahaha
ENFP here. This made me giggle so much! Dark side is very accurate...lol
I am an INTJ and you described ENFPs exactly as I would. I never use the word magical, other than describing an intimate relationship with an ENFP girl. ENFPs are a perfect match with INTJs, but I think both need to be mature for the relationship to last. The pitfalls are few, but they can be deadly to the relationship if both are very young and immature. Excellent analysis. Yet again I am amazed watching other INTJs come to the exact same conclusions that I did. I knew where you were going before you said it.
I am an ENFP male and I would say the part about not wanting to hammer down plans comes from the fear of having to break those plans and hurting the feelings of the other person or our own. If i made a date next week, and something comes up, not better per se, but just unexpected (a flat tire, got the flu, got called into work) etc., then i would have to cancel and that would make me feel super guilty. The future for us is too wide open to possibility and i think we evaluate possibilities on a constant basis. So constant, in fact, that until the very moment something happens, we aren't sure it will happen the way we think it will or have planned it, or it could result in something even outside of our perceived possibilities. i genuinely think this is why ENFPs are starters and not finishers. We see so much potentiality that it's hard to narrow that down into the result we desire.
I do agree with the dark side about being hurt and wanting to hurt them back. The saddest part of this is that when we choose to hurt someone back, it hurts us even more, because we care so much about other people, hurting them feels deeply wrong. We aren't a type that can live with compromising our own moral compass just to get even. We may do it out of sheer emotional surrender, but we will definitely feel horrible about it and probably apologize first. Just my thoughts!
Great video. Keep making them!!!!
You're such a cute creature!! My last INTJ was very reserved and a bit controlling, I am beginning to think there are other variations of the type :D
There are of course variations. A more stable INTJ will often be very happy to let you do your own thing, as that gives them their desired alone time. I encourage my ENFP fiance to live her own life apart from me, because it gives me time to recharge, and interesting things to talk about when we're home together.
I could see why an INTJ could end up being controlling, but I think that's more of a personal issue with trust, as when we trust our partner, we have no reason to want to control anything.
I'm not blaming you btw, just saying that your previous relationship with an INTJ was probably with someone who had underlying psychological issues with things like self esteem.
Yeah they are really annoying indeed...
your verbage sounds like intjs are pets. interesting
I am an ENFP. I'm 45, and I've been an ENFP forever. Thank you for uploading this. One of my best (and longest) friends is an INTJ. It gave me a perspective on him and our business/friendship interactions. He often calls me for advice or my intuition on something. I heard all of your post and I really liked it (esp. the positive stuff!). I'd like to give you my perspective on the revenge thing you mentioned (!)... My INTP husband (we've been together 25 years!) and my INTJ business colleague (we've known each other 25 years!) have noticed this, BUT, it's not revenge: It's hard core values being shown. So.... if someone ignores or disrespects a deep value -- it will be addressed. My husband said to me relatively recently: "I really like how you represent your values..." What he meant by this was that I represent them with good humour, jokes, back-handed compliments by way of introduction, but if someone really, really pushes the limit, my tone will change to: "OK! That's enough. We've reached the limit!" but I wouldn't call it mean-ness per se. It's more like: "You have to respect me as I respect you..." If they can't, having the friendship or relationship dissolve is actually devastating. None of it is calculated or revengeful. I think that, often, people think ENFPs are bubbly, inspiring, sparkly people -- which they are -- but they also adhere to some pretty important things... which makes them awesome life partners and business partners, and we are sooooo loyal, we LOVE you. You can trust us with your INTJ life. And they do. Thank you for reading :)
Rachel Morse ah this!!! Agreed that we can totally flip the switch when our values are on the line; I’ve been told that I turn into a completely different person in those cases, I.e. not my usual friendly self because I will engage in firmly arguing my point of view.
In response to the last point about being comfortable. I think that deep down, that is the light at the end of tunnel that ENFPs all work towards. If I had pure confidence in myself I think I'd be pretty unstoppable as I've had it for brief periods and it's truly amazing. Very rare for me though haha
sameeee
Trueee
I’m an ENFP and this offered me some pretty dope insight. I’ve always loved criticism and this video was presented in a respectful way. Well done 😸
Agreed!
Same.
I LOVE INTJs you guys have this quiet sexiness about you and its so sweet
U've strong Fi, you're really talking using ur Ni-Fi combination, that's why u seem not prepared in ur talking and can't explain clearly how u feel, I like it so much 💜💚🧡💛
It's a big evidence of real Love.
It's just like my INTJ friend, when he talks with me, in so much sensitive discussion, he just block the Te parent-Ti critic, he would tell me, u're... Idk why it's like this, and I won't use logic here 🥺🥺🥺So cute guys, I love u 💚💚💚
Wow, I don't know that INTJ can be this CUTE! I'm an INFP and ENFP but more on the E side. I would say it's intriguing to know I think the love of my life is an INTJ too, and the way we attracted each other was like a magnet that took years to actually met one another and be lovers. I love him still, he loved me fully when he expressed I could feel it.
We broke up because I hurt him emotionally sometimes without even realising my act. And it only made me so mad because of his logic cold attitude towards me that got me think he had something else in his mind or that criticism really didn't make sense to me why he would take on me like that. He thought the same way that I have a dark dark side, those are emotions and events that to me I didn't want to remember at all because I am a future-oriented person with full positivity, and it was a real frustration and depression that I could not talk it out to him which still it's haunting me. Wrong timing always makes us apart.
He also thought I had a destructive personality which I really don't think it is that destructive. When he sees the emotion and showing emotion is weak, to us it's a strong act that took a lot of braveness to show.
I think that's where the opposite doesn't meet. But I love him still very much, very very much. He has the most respect from me out of all the people I dated, with all of my heart.
We are not with each other no more. I just hope he is happy now because he deserves to be happy even I'm not in the picrture anymore. He also gave me a lot of trips to the guilt island hahaha! But I don't mind, I love those trips, he made me grow up from those trips with him.
I miss the time of us, but whatever passed by, it happened the way it happened, for a reason. We will just let it be.
do you still keep in contact with him as friends?
I'm an ENFP, and I think you are absolutely adorable! Everything you said was so spot on! There is also something about the way INTJs talk, the delivery, hearing the cogs in the brain turning as you consider every word to describe your thoughts...none of which are wasted. You see us so well. We fall in love with you because deep down, we all want to be known. You understand us, and we are known and feel appreciated for being who we are. We sense you think we are wonderful. We are seen. Likewise, we are in awe of your mind. We have fallen in love with you as a person. You are unique, and we enjoy experiencing your thoughts. We understand you, yet we love to debate you. It drives you intellectually deeper into the conversation, and we love it. You have a beautiful mind. We know there is no one else like you. 😊
I'd date an INTJ if I wasn't so forgetful and had the ability to focus.
INTJ here. All of these are very true! My ENFP fiance is such a warm bubbly person to be around. I like my plans but she is very go with the flow. It has gotten to me sometimes, but we have worked together on it. Sometimes I need to just chill and not think about everything so much. I really like how we can just explore our thoughts and be open-minded when it comes to ideas. She wants the world to be a perfect place and when there is wrongdoing she will not let it slide(lol bad road rage). I have seen how she can be the most supportive person, but not see the value of herself.
Assuming you're still alive, I'd love to see another video. You're really eloquent and it's clear that you think deeply. I think the video wasn't completely scripted yet you delivered some pretty solid points. Also nice voice.😂❤
Thanks for that, I'll make a new video soon!
ENFP, here. My boyfriend and best friend are INTJs and I LOVE them. They're the jam to my peanut butter. You fascinate me
Honestly when I saw the thumbnail I thought this was going to be a really dramatic video but let me just say after two seconds of watching this you are the sweetest bean alive
I'm stressed, as an ENFP, by watching your stress and deep hurt/frustration about how ENFP's don't commit to plans.
I'm not mean ^_^ I don't want revenge. Here comes the refusal to be boxed into a subtype.
You seem super intuitive and this video was a joy to watch.
We love you too! Also, personally, my lack of self confidence comes from people not accepting me for who I am. Or I feel I come across as too weird so I always feel I have to downplay who I am as a person. My INTJ boyfriend has helped me so much in realizing other people’s opinions of me hold no weight, especially if they are trying to make me into something I’m not. INTJs are too precious for this world. I couldn’t believe how genuine you guys are and how fair. It’s beautiful really.
Thank you for being honest about us ENFP's. Yes we are carefree, we love deep and meaningful conversations about anything and everything. We naturally have people that usually don't open up, open up about things to us. We love it when people open up to us.
With plans, we don't like to make plans, we like to go with the flow most times, but we actually do know how to make plans. You're right about our dark side, because of our 'F' we're sensitive and if someone really make us angry, we get angry to a point not for revenge, but we get angry and put our foot down so the other person won't do it again to us. We are not like this all the time, but we are emotionally sensitive. We are actually confident in ourselves and are resilient, by overcoming struggles quite quickly because we like to remain joyful. I have more INFJ friends than INTJ's but I would like to have INTJ friends ❤️
I'm an ENFP. I think that the ENFP type can become very narcissistic if we have too much self confidence. I think we tend to use our intuition to read others' through their body language and conversation, and we are incredible at making others feel at ease. Even when it may be a little harder for us to feel as comfortable.
Also, I personally like to have things planned out more when I meet up with friends. I don't necessarily need to know everything we might do, because spontaneity is fun for me, but I want more details so that I know how to plan for it. That doesn't really sound very ENFP, but some of us prefer it.
Personally, my judging and perceiving characteristics are almost 50/50, however, I dislike being judged by others, so I try to not judge others. I can be at work or somewhere, and out of nowhere, someone will start gossiping and talking about other people, and it usually bothers me ever so slightly, because I feel like it's nobody's place to judge others. I mean, you don't know their situations, and if you're talking about other people, what are you saying about me when I'm not around? I do try to judge certain situations so that I stay safe, and don't get into trouble. I think for me, that is the splitting boundary of my judging and perceiving.
I know I said a lot.
Thanks for this video!
Jennifer Hunton TY TY TY TY for relating enfp and narcissist! YES enfp can be EXTREMELY narcissistic!!!!!
Good observations of enfps. 😊 I am one and my boyfriend is intj. We do tend to get more balanced and confident with age. It’s a great match for long term.
And the long term is all INTJs care about 😂
There's something really sweet about you! I love hearing how other types perceive us ENFPs :)
I love hearing your insights. Yes, ENFPs are hardest on themselves AND give limitless opportunities to people. So the dark side exists on a deep level, an alter ego of sorts who is prepared to fight for self-preservation, defend against perceived enemies of the future, and sometimes ... if the wound is great enough ... punish to restore balance (but we can take a lot upon ourselves and we have the ability to completely destroy but choose the begging for mercy option for frenemies). Self-confidence takes a long time for ENFPs to master, so you’ll see us mature later than other types in that way.
And yes, we adore INTJs! The way you think and operate is refreshing and comforting. You are like us - outside in! I know when I’m in the presence of an INTJ because usually within five or so minutes of meeting you, I’m laughing!! Like genuinely tickled (no other type can do this for us). And I think our intuitions immediately recognize one another, our extroverted version drawing your masterminded genius out of its shell. When an INTJ and an ENFP join forces, a formidable team is formed (just need to keep a sensor somewhere in the general vicinity to break any analysis paralysis and to point out the obvious simple missed solution or detail).
This is such a great video! 😄 I'm an enfp and married to an intj, and it's such a great match! We definitely have our differences, but we learn from each other and help each other which makes a person grow:) I'm so bad at follow through when I begin a project, so my husband is so helpful for that. You guys are truly wonderful people, too! We do have a dark side, yes🙈. I have a frightful temper because it's hard to supress our feelings (always working on that😋). Anyways! Great video and God bless!
Aww thank you so much Kerry! I wish you happiness for you and your husband, show the world INTJ/ENFP is a powerhouse match ;)
My boyfriend's an INTJ; INTJs are adorable people, they're just like us. Super Creative, wants to be carefree too, wants to be able to express themselves normally and openly; and to be understood. It's very similar traits as we ENFPs are. Most ENFPs are very Ambivert---and people think we're high and have cracked ADHD problems lmao..
The only difference that does causes issues, INTJ works better with a plan. While ENFP works better when going with flow. And if we were to switch routines it causes us to become overwhelmed and stressed haha xD
Edit: i do have a dark side. I am easily manipulated and hurt by people quite frequently. I always see and want to see the best of all people i come across. Unfortunately no one's completely a great person.. my INTJ boyfriend usually goes on protective mode whenever i do actually get hurt and betrayed; even though he and i usually argue a lot- he doesn't like it when i get into chaotic arguments with other suspicious people. I'm ngl INTJs are scary when they're on protective mode o _o but we do very much appreciate feeling safe and protected. 🥺
But there is a time if someone disrespects me ir my friends or underestimate my mental intelligence. They're absolutely gonna have it coming for them in a split second lol.
Spot on! Some insight on the Dark side… We make decisions based on a very strong set of internal morals. In addition, we want to be champions for others, especially those who have stood by us. If you violate my sense of morality or if you threaten the people I love, I will tear you apart. That’s when logic overcomes my emotion, the hippie side goes away, and the empathy turns into x-ray vision to see people’s weaknesses. Others don’t usually see this side, but once they do they understand me a little bit better. While it can be petty, think of it as protectiveness rather than vengefulness.
Also, I see harmony between this and the friendliness. Justice and fairness matter, and standing up for what’s right when necessary helps me to stay open and optimistic the rest of the time.
Helpful?
Couldn't have been said better!
Self-confident ENFP right here, my best friend is too, life is good. Our personality allows us to influence people, so us being confident allows us to make all those around us more confident. We learned to be confident, it was hard but now it’s awesome and we can make people awesome too 😊🥳
literally the sweetest thing i've heard today
I love this being my first video of yours and watching it 4 years later. The comments are amazing.
Signed,
An ENFP who loves INTJs
The fact that this is more of a (-) video says something about how you feel about us: you really like us 😊. We like you too, Mr. INTJ.
I'm not an ENFP but, I love the way you pause to really reflect and collect your thoughts before speaking. It's such an endearing quality! Really wish I knew an INTJ irl - I feel like we'd have amazing conversation!
-from a fellow INFP :)
ENFP here. I really enjoyed your assessment. Just to let you know it is possible to be confident and still an ENFP. You're absolutely right about us being very happy and charismatic while also having a "dark side". My self-confidence is typically kept in check because of my introspective nature. I'm not vengeful or malicious but I'm very matter-of-fact when something is unacceptable. I have no problems putting up boundaries. Also, I like solid plans. Mostly, because I'm confident in my ability to communicate if things change or what plans I'm wrestling with in my head, so as to never surprise the people I have plans with. To me, that's just being considerate but I don't believe that trait is specific to ENFPs. Thanks for your insights. Keep up the videos!
The lack of planning thing pisses me off too, even though I am ENFP. I loose interest when I can't set with someone the exact date, hour, place of our meeting. I take it as a respect thing, since I also have different things going on/planned.
Great job on you first video. I love your honesty and kindness.
As an ENFP I can definitely say INTJs are lovely and imaginative companions!
I hadn’t really thought of the dark side of revenge but going wasaaay back to my teenage years, I did imagine and unpleasant fate to someone who had been extremely hurtful.
It was cartoony and not realistic, but I remember feeling just AWFUL in my body. I kinda shook myself out of it, and resolved to not be that way again.
I attribute mindfulness and meditation to healing the shadow side of being a deep feeling being.
Thanks for the sharing.
Omg the thing about ENFP's having a dark side- SO TRUE, and i didn't even recognize it until he said it, just shows how compatible ENFP's are with INTJs
OMG even the confidence thing- SPOT ON
When you said that we make "half-plans" I laughed out loud. I am terribly guilty of the "half-plan" lol. & for me personally it is not because I am holding out for a "better plan" to come along per say, but more so because I don't know how I will be feeling internally that day or in the future. If that day comes along & I am feeling terribly introverted, I may want to back out. I am no fun to be around when I am internally conflicted. I would never try to make someone feel like they are my second option. I guess it just comes off that way.
& absolutely we have a dark side! Why do you think that Robin Williams killed himself? (bad example, I know) I am a firm believer in an eye for an eye. I would *NOT* wrong someone until they have wronged me first. At which point I feel like I am free to wrong them in the same way they wronged me. I'd say that fair is fair. I think it is because we feel such a strong connection to certain people, "betrayal" in a sense is unacceptable to us.
BTW I loved listening to you describe me almost perfectly! You do know your ENFP's!
Edit: As an ENFP, I would say that I am overly confident. So maybe it was just my upbringing or life experiences caused me to be that way. No lack of self confidence here! ;)
Yes!!!! That is it!!!
Yo, I liked this! I have had conversations about my perspective on ENFPs and totally agreed with this. I am an INFJ and I was raised by an ENFP and my sister is, I have many in my life as friends as well. And it’s good to list negatives and positives from your perspective, I like hearing it and I think other types might like to hear it. Hopefully ENFP peeps won’t be offended and can just find it interesting to hear perspective. You seem very sweet and carful with your words and I loved that.
"i love talking about mbti" I FELT YA MAN
INTJ here and married to a ENFP. I can always tell what he is feeling and yes def has a dark side.
I’m an ENFP and I agree with your video! Just an FYI: I keep my plans open not because I think I might cancel on the person but because I like to keep our day’s activities open. I’m very loyal to my loved ones and I will miss out on a once in a life time event because I already have plans with someone. But if someone tells me the day, time and place. I don’t mind really. Feel free to exercise your planning needs because we’re pretty easy going.
I think the dark side of revenge your talking about lessens as we get older and more mature. When I was younger I was more sensitive to hurtful people but now that I’m older I’m too busy to deal with other people’s mistakes and I’m very comfortable with myself to understand that if someone makes a mistake towards me it’s on them, not me. They’ll have a tough road ahead because of their own faults and I just need to be aware of their negatives and move forward with my life. The self esteem thing I’m still working on lol but your video is very sweet and honest so thanks for sharing!
Aww you're so sweet!
One thing though, and maybe it's just me, but I'm an ENFP and totally recognise the not making whole plans thing. But I promise it's NOT because maybe something else comes along. That's actually kinda what people have been doing to me, cancelling last moment because something 'better' comes along, and that really, really hurts. I would never do that.
It's just that planning's hard as fuck. xD Never considered that it might come across like that. Thanks for posting this video!
Every one has insecurities. And that's when other personalities come in picture that help enfp feel valued. Thanks for making Enfp feel confident.
I love this, you actually had me crying at the end there, my hearttttt, when you said you value us more than we value ourselves I lost it that is so sweet. As an ENFP I do tend to not be as confident as I make myself out to be, I can get self conscious about many things and I there are many things that contribute to that but sometimes I don't understand it myself lol, but you just made my day, I love you INTJs, y'all literally the best. Thank you for this video.
Hi! Enfp here, enjoyed your video and appreciated the candidness, thank you. 😊
Idk about you guys im an intj ok and i feel so home and myself and just like normal and natural when im around an enfp 🙈 and i feel like u guys are so trust worthy and i really really appreciate this also the way ur taking care about other peoples feelings this is heaven for me .
The struggle to talk about this was real but still accurate
This is really sweet. And accurate. Nobody talks about our dark side.
I have an INTJ brother. I dont really know how he feels about me ever. His response to all my i love yous is "no".
So i really enjoyed this. 💕
i'm a enfp en my dad is intj. growing up was hard for us to understand eachother
We do love it! Love to our INTJs!!
"if people hurts you you want to to hurt them back" well kinda feels like that, it feels terrible but sometimes, I feel that way, its quite confusing
As an ENFP... this is very true. I would also like to keep this comments section alive! About the making plans thing, I am awful at making plans and I agree with the "leaving details to the last second" thing. However, if a group of people are planning to meet up and there are no details, I will get everyone together and organize everything. The confidence thing really hits hard. I even find birthdays awkward because I am meant to be the special person and there is a cake for me... I have even now asked for a reduced price M&S pound cake each year. I am yet to find an INTJ counterpart but fingers crossed!
This is extremely long, sorry!
Including myself (ENFP) and my ENFP friends, The thing you talked about keeping the options open for planning is such an ENFP trait.
Dilemma is my biggest obstacle.
I do like me some revenge, but I'm not sure when. I don't make plans.
Your manner of speech reminds me so much of my INTJ boyfriend. I found myself leaning in just internally going "come onnnn" because I really wanna know what you have to say but INTJs take so much time express thoughts and feelings outloud. No matter what though I would never intterupt because I love my introverts so much and would never want to discourage their expression or miss out on something they're trying to say. (I'm ENxP by the way)
I'm an ENFP-A and I agree with what you said, both positive and negative. I think our empathy for others grounds us more than anything else. I definitely feel confident some days and not others and maybe because we see the 'big picture', that can also keep us from being too confident in ourselves and our abilities.
For the confident ENFP thing : I became confident mostly because of my supportive family but I still take it /extremely/ bad if someone belittles me and can get violent to hide that I'm hurt since being a "tough warrior" is part of what makes me confident. I compliment myself daily and try to look good for ME to feel good when I know I won't be in a situation I can fully control.
It's been a long time since i felt that someone was speaking for me lol
I'm INTJ, my sister's ENFP and it's really similar how i feel 😄
Lol, i always used to find it frustrating when she would say she's not upset while look clearly botherd..😶
Very accurate video. You should make more, it's nice hearing your perspective on MBTIs (ENFPs in particular because I am one lol). But I LOVE INTJS, I mesh with them really well and you guys and INFJs are the only types I have met that I can just talk about anything with where it is an equal balance of talking in the conversation. I love your guys' insight and you guys' help keep my emotions in check and veer more into my logical side. And everything you said about ENFPs, don't worry you got it exactly right lol (even the lack of self appreciation or self confidence), it's interesting how aware you are of us. Make more, I'll definitely subscribe, I love MBTI videos !!!
This was So ..Good!!
I wanted more :)
Hello, I'm a mature ENFP :)
You were right on!! Funny & Precious..❤❤❤
I love hearing your "Young, Beautful, INTJ perspective.
So cute, so funny, so real!
This was your First & perfect, video on the subject!!❤❤❤❤❤❤
I love studying MBI, also.
Totally addicted
"You guys are not good at hiding feeling."
Nope! Not at all.
My former boss once told me, "I know when you forgot to do something. I can always read it in your face!" 😁
As an INTJ engaged to an ENFP I laughed outloud multiple times watching this. Too relatable. That half plan thing can be so frustrating. Hahaha
This is the only legit video about ENFP's I've come across in a long time.
Fuck yeah! So glad I found your channel. Finally an INTJ in about the same age as myself that I can take part with/from, and learn and evolve. Thank you for being intelligent!
I think the reason why we don't like people crossing us is because we don't necessarily think about harming or becoming an inconvenience to others. So being taken advantage of or being mistreated really puts me off. Like, why would you do that?
You say, your more confident in Us..than we are if our selves..
It's also true, we see your beauty, more than you see it in ur self.
That's a whole an other "why" we compliment each other❤
Your precious, genuine way of speaking touched me deeply. I agree with everything especially about the confidence part. I've been aware I'm very confident outside, but not so much confident being with myself. You seem to be a sweet heart. Take care and thanks for this awesome thought sharing, both in the sense of content and the way it was delivered in. Cheers //ENFP 2W3
The revenge part is spot on. I used to have revenge thoughts because I wanted to show the person what kind of suffering they were doing. No one deserves to be screwed over or cheated on
this is a awesome video. I dont take revevne on people... but, once somone has crossed me its hard to uncross. everything else i totally agree with.
Speaking for myself as an ENFP I feel quite empathic of people's feelings, especially their insecurities. It helps me put them at ease and hopefully allow them to feel like themselves and accepted in for such. I want nothing more than for everyone to feel accepted and understood for who they are and be happy. TRULY happy.
The dark side you're referring to is when something deeply offending has happened. Usually if someone is being unremorsefully unkind to others. Like a superpower used for purposes of evil, all those insecurities I've observed can be turned on them.
Definitely takes a lot to get to that stage. More often than not things wash over me.
I'm an ENFP and you were right about the positives and the negatives!!! Hahaha. It's kinda sad what u said about our self-esteem but ur right. Good insights!
You are so perceptive! ENFP here - you got so much of it right and I am so appreciative of your honest critique! :)
Do you think it is also a common trait in us to get overexcited about new people/places/situations?
I love that you don't want to cut or edit your videos, it feels much more like the community TH-cam used to be, rather than the new form of TV that it has become. I hope you keep it up :)
The only thing I have to say about ENFP's is that....I can be rude and devilishly sarcastic they'll still consider that as a part of my charm, its annoying but I like that about them ♡
Omg you're sooooo adorable! I could notice that you were nervous recording this video but it's sooooo cute hahahha Everything you said was true!!! You really know ENFPs haha For me what really speaks louder is about not seeing our positives in ourselves.. yes.. sometimes I know I'm full of good qualities but I'm too insecure to believe in them, kinda? But it makes me soooo happy to know that such a smart person as an INTJ see us as intelligent makes me go woooohhh 😎 I value intelligence very very much and I love NTs for that, cause I think they are sooo intelligente aaa 🥰 I met an INTJ and since I met him I just felt comfortable, it's s so crazy. It was like I already met him '-' HAHAHA Thanks for loving us ^^ ❤️
No problem, I don't think what type you are defines intelligence, I just think ENFP and INTJ have a good mental connection which makes me percieve them as intelligent. Thanks for the comment :)
Litterally paused the video at 1:31 and started giggling at the fact that he shuddered after sharing his feelings 😂😂 I love this