Perfectionism holds us back. Here’s why | Charly Haversat | TED Institute
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ม.ค. 2016
- If you can’t do it perfectly, why do it at all? Recovering perfectionist Charly Haversat challenges our obsession with perfection in our personal lives, workplaces and beyond. Can we fight the crippling fear of failure and the unwillingness to compromise that it creates?
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I'm thinking about how much I procrastinate due to perfectionism and simultaneously the CDC's response to the virus throughout this talk, and then she She said pandemic at the end. I would vote for you Ms. Haversat
Same
yeah, we are on the same page, but I have come to the conclusion that perfectionism is really not perfect, we have to work on one factor and that is the "congitive plasticity" which enables us to be flexible and open to new situations. hard but possible to be executed. it's a matter of practice over time.
This hit home, gave me more insight on how and why the world is how it is. Thanks
Fellow Perfectionists!!
Let's come back here 5 years later, to celebrate our victory over perfectionism.
You will see me come back in five years. I will work on my Perfectionism!!
Yes, 24 years old and my life has been in stagnation for the past 8 years since i left secondary school, I'm taking risks from now on to grow in life
Yes, we surely will win.
Thanks dear for this video, really from the bottom of my heart. I achieved 90+ in my exams many times but this time I didnt and was feeling low and angry but ur video helped me to relax
A single word is good enough:"THANKS!"
This was one hell of a presentation for perfectionists.
you can tell shes a bit like that too xD
I have been stuck for 24 years. I cant do anything without over thinking
Very informative. I definitely have to take this on board. Although, it's difficult when that voice in your head keeps saying 'good enough isn't good enough.'
I love this - it captures beautifully the struggle...as well as what's possible on the other side. I've struggled with perfectionism my whole now, and now my life's work is dedicated to helping others fight the battles everyday with a shift in perspective and mindset. Great talk Charly!
Just focus on your health first anything else then becomes superficial
I'm with you, just be you and the rest will fall into place
Beautifully stated and beautifully delivered! More than good enough! Thank you!
Perfection must come only from the decision of the person, never from the torment of others.
Perfectionism is good; to some certain degrees. It tells you to not send in a half-assed work. But it sucks once it takes over. What first started as "make sure all the roses are white" turns into "if it's not the same shade of white; throw it out". It makes you question why you bother going to the top floor if you're not going to reach there in one step. It ignores all the efforts and focuses on the end result. Who gives a fuck if you spent the whole week drawing this? Nobody's going to see that. All they're going to see is your artwork, and if it's not perfect, you might as well just showcase a shit sketch you did in 3 minutes. Extreme perfectionism sucks out the fun out of creating. It leads to mental breakdowns and anxiety. It's a blessing and a curse to be a perfectionist. Sometimes you're the winner and the next you're a quitter.
Soooo much this. What an eloquent way to phrase this.
Perfectionism is judging your self the same way people judge you is judging by result
On the other side you should judge your self by the same way god judge yoy by your efforts and intentions ( for sure you cant judge yoyr self exactly like good but u can judge the big picture)
Thank you for this comment and also the example was too good to understand.
What a powerful message! I thankyou so much, marion
So poignant and beautiful.
Thanks, i will remember: Perfect is the enemy of good is an aphorism, an English variant of the older better is the enemy of good, which was popularized by Voltaire in French form.
Remember that perfectionism is just a learned behavior. A thought pattern. So you can unlearn it again. It's not easy, but YOU CAN DO IT.
Perfect is the enemy of good
Thanks for your insights on overcoming perfectionism. Such an important topic!
So true. She's a fantastic speaker.
Excellent. Making a light-hearted joke, if I were your professor, 'I'd give you an A+. Thank you for your sharing.
Like that, you emphasized "light-hearted". Good play.
I started to play tennis when I was 12 and quit playing 1 year later... back then I was like "what is the point of playing if I cant compete at Australian Open?" Now I am 29 and when I think about this it hurts that I tortured myself when I was a kid and didnt let myself just enjoy it... and if I enjoyed it and played tennis just good enough I would have been playing it like for 17 years.
I wish I would’ve been able to know this sooner. I have wasted so much time trying to be perfect, and still need some time…. This is so true 😢
Watching this with a whole new perspective in 2021.
I finally found the perfect TED talk!
hahahahahahaha
How do you define "good enough". Good enough for "WHO"?
Perfectionism is judging your self the same way people judge you
( judging by result)
On the other side you should judge your self by the same way god judge yoy by your efforts and intentions ( for sure you cant judge yoyr self exactly like good but u can judge the big picture)
There is another side to that coin: Don't let half-assed results satisfy you when you can do better..... "perfection is not a skill, it's a habit."
Perfection is rewarded imperfection is criticized..
If you have low self esteem,unworthiness,feeling unecepted you are on the right way to be one day an big depressed perfectionist
Thanks
Thank you from a fellow perfectionist!
If you jumped over a chasm for a 99% of its width that means you were good enough but you also are dead now (since 99% is not enough to reach the other side).
Perfectionism is not came out of nothing, there are reason(s) for its existence.
Desperate cravity to keep up with those who are the most valuable for society "If I am valuable I will not be abandoned, and will not die"
This is too true because how are adult s expecting us to be top of our classes and school instead of focusing on us actually learning and being the best version of us . Perfection leaves no room for progress because its expected immediately of us and if we don't achieve it whats they point , unlike in progress we dont have a specific point to reach and yet with progress we get the most results because we continue moving foward
I’m a perfectionist when it comes to my music and it sucks but I’m trying to overcome
All of us could benefit from decision making that is good enough🌿
Ben & Bryce sent me! Great kids!!
I have insecurities too. Sometimes, i feel so conscious about my imperfections, but when in fact, people dont really give that much shit about my imperfections as they're so busy with their own lives
Before, im so scared to poop in public, but later on, whenever i poop,i just held my head high and walk proudly. Sometimes, we tend to get so ashamed of things that most people dont care about.
Just like you, people dont watch you and get shocked to find out that you're actually just a human who has a vulnerable side and has issues to deal with, because they are so busy with their own issues in life.. They're just like you, fighting their own issues within themselves.
Ive just realized when i was a kid that all people poop, so why i should be so ashamed of that thing of its a normal part of being a human
Philippines left the conversation...
Ben and Bryce sent me! :)
Sums up our world's culture in under 9 minuntes.
kid rock
Ben and Bryce sent me! This was actually really enjoyable
Perfect is the enemy of good. Today I am just thinking that it would make me feel better if I am able to record my experience every Saturday. Let's meet a better me but not perfect me the next Saturday.
A rational Perfectionism necessarily would preclude a Perfectionist's own irrational acceptance of an exclusively unsatisfying substitute for an ideal.
If I as a Perfectionist were to suddenly lose most of my hair, how should I respond?
By way of accepting a hairpiece?
OR
By way of rejecting a hairpiece precisely for the reason that it's an exclusively unsatisfying substitute for my own hair?
If all would-be substitutes for a given ideal are no better than exclusively unsatisfying substitutes, the Perfectionist is irrational if he does not reject all of them.
...
2:07
I was married to a perfectionist. It not only affects them but people around them . Marriage broke apart because it was not perfect. I was marriage # 3 of hers. That's Perfectionism.
chris Favorite Have compassion and wish her well though. I'm sure it's hard for her to push people away.
Im really going insane right now haha...
Wow. Even more true now with pandemic and BLM.
How To Overcome Perfectionism: 👉th-cam.com/video/kuUSJ8cDucY/w-d-xo.html
Kobe prolly dont like this cuz of how obsessed he was with perfection
3:30, the lady on the bottom left is giving a Keanu Reeves look
with a fucking....pencil.
Most people here dont have perfectionism, they are just under achievers
Bruh I'm watching this so I can become good at siege
its football...
But by striving for perfectio we become great
Minas Stars And you destroy yourself in the process...
No....by striving for perfection you will (1.) always fall short of your goal, (2.) you will be angry at yourself for being excellent instead of perfect, (3.) you will procrastinate because you are afraid of starting something that will not end up being perfect.
You missed a step
Wonderful. But when does perfectionism START for us?
Perhaps it starts in school, when teachers have RIGID STANDARDS, in order to grade many students, quickly.
Teachers may not be likely to change their rigid standards. But maybe students can adjust their sense of VALUE?
What do you think? THANKS Much Harry www.SavingSchools.org
According to the BBC the number of young adults who admit that they strive for perfection is on the rise, which will result in higher numbers of depression, isolation, shame, and numerous other mental health disorders. It starts YOUNG and it continues to occur if we don't change our behaviours and bring more attention to it.
Yes lets have a world that isn't good enough, pretend it is good enough, when in reality it is far from just good enough, that isn't perfectionism it's just accepting the facts. A world that is good enough would have no poor people. That isn't perfectionism. I think people who think the way the world is now is good enough, ignore how much better it could be for all.
Ben and Bryce send me
That's nirvana fallacy
Without Jesus we are all imperfect and sinful. He makes us whole.
Why give male names to women ?