6 Signs Someone Grew Up with Depression

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ธ.ค. 2024

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  • @MedCircle
    @MedCircle  3 ปีที่แล้ว +256

    -
    *Get access to our FREE depression video series: **bit.ly/3wcjoz3*
    -

    • @havenbastion
      @havenbastion 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I have had all those age range descriptions so far... but i didn't think of it as depression but not being compatible with bullshit. That's still the case.

    • @user-ld1om4qp7j
      @user-ld1om4qp7j 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Competo Solutions are subjective ... one solution doesn't apply to everyone ....

    • @yasarachny3768
      @yasarachny3768 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I was growing up like that,,,,,
      Im nit finishing my college because of burn out...now im 34 and still have those symptom. I tried to talk to psycologist here in indonesia. But she's not helping at all. I became thinking that even psycologist didn't think it seriously like my parents,,,,and just though it just my True nature😭😭😭😭😭😭

    • @nebulastar7159
      @nebulastar7159 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@yasarachny3768 did you try to change your psychologist/ counsellor?
      Im not a pro but i know different psychologists may have different opinion/treatment towards the same problem.
      And if you encounter one bad psychologist does not means other all are bad.....
      So yea, try to change psychologists / counsellor if you are able to.
      Bless you for your future

    • @yashvardhanjain875
      @yashvardhanjain875 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Well I am 17 yrs old and severely DEPRESSED. I have taken a million depression tests on youtube idk what to do or say orwhere the hell to gooo and i am aware of my depression and idk just dont KNOWW plz plz plz i need help plz plz help I am dying I dont have a choice idk PLZ HELP 😭 🙏

  • @RAINYDAYS00505
    @RAINYDAYS00505 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10870

    Some parents love depressed kids....they are quiet, withdrawn and want to be alone. At least mine did, I was the "easy" child. No acknowledgment of being alive.

    • @trashoclock9339
      @trashoclock9339 3 ปีที่แล้ว +377

      my oldest brother was the most difficult to my mom, and seeing her deal with him and them having so many issues made me quiet and withdrawn... she didnt acknowledge it until it had gotten to where i was truant at school bc i couldn't leave bed 😬

    • @lovestay8176
      @lovestay8176 3 ปีที่แล้ว +501

      My mom feels happy that I don't hang out with friends & go for outing like my elder sister but at the same time She insults me for not being able to socialize with their relatives.

    • @krisinnn
      @krisinnn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Same!!!

    • @sophiakrishnan2053
      @sophiakrishnan2053 3 ปีที่แล้ว +155

      Omg same! My younger brother was the “difficult child”. He was sick a lot, he was rebellious, he was not as academically gifted. Seeing my mother deal with that AND extended family drama made me the quiet withdrawn one. I couldn’t get myself out of bed, took forever to get ready (not that I was dolling myself up) for any gathering. Was minimally involved in school extra curriculars . My parents were happy I never went out with friends and shut myself in my room reading. Because I was the easy one.

    • @PaulinhaCardoso88
      @PaulinhaCardoso88 3 ปีที่แล้ว +92

      Oh god... THIS! I was paraded as "the perfect" one to my family bc I basically didn't live and stayed in the whole time. I didn't have summer jobs or went out with friends, or had boyfriends or even friends. My cousins did all of that and they were the difficult ones. NO, THEY WERE NORMAL, and the expected of a teen. My parent hid my school difficulties and I was shamed into keeping quiet. All to satisfy my Narc Parent.

  • @TheGeekMonster
    @TheGeekMonster 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9765

    Be careful in becoming too comfortable with labels or "we *tend* to see". I was an incredibly depressed, anxious, abused child. But I was absolutely obedient to authority figures, I was never in trouble, I was quiet and well-behaved. I turned everything inward. Whereas my brother presented more like what Dr. Dom is describing here; acting out, outbursts, getting in trouble a lot, etc.

    • @enbykenz
      @enbykenz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +808

      Me too!!! This is so important. I could’ve understood my problems way sooner if other presentations than “acting out” were more commonly talked about.

    • @Happy_Bnzo_Puppy
      @Happy_Bnzo_Puppy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Same

    • @wolfladee5674
      @wolfladee5674 3 ปีที่แล้ว +66

      Yes, that would have helped so much .

    • @davinamcm6435
      @davinamcm6435 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Agree

    • @kailani1138
      @kailani1138 3 ปีที่แล้ว +419

      Same here with me, extremely sensitive and introverted, mostly scared of authority due to the abuses. My mother would have said it was me trying to feel sorry for myself, me I thought I was just trying to survive...

  • @8bitKatwalk
    @8bitKatwalk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3365

    i never knew i was depressed until i wasnt depressed, school was tough because i just thought it was how life was.

    • @clairec577
      @clairec577 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@patriciawalker851 bruh stop spreading misinformation about psychedelics they aren’t for everyone

    • @KryssLaBryn
      @KryssLaBryn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +112

      Doesn't help when everyone you reached out to as a kid just tells you that "that's just how life is," either, hah.
      "What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Everyone goes through it. You just need to pick yourself up and get over it."
      Well, no; ends up that *not* everyone goes through it, and if you're thinking that, then it's a good bet that it's because *you* went through it too, and may I remind you that *your* childhood was in Europe during WWII, and *mine* was in Canada in the Seventies and Eighties. And feeling like that during *your* childhood was a pretty reasonable reaction to your experiences!! And feeling like this was a pretty reasonable reaction to *my* experiences; but, you know, as I wasn't actually literally *living through the middle of WWII, my* experiences shouldn't have been provoking anything *nearly* the same.
      But they were, because I had undiagnosed ADHD (and possibly autism; still trying to get in for assessment), and was being bullied, and misunderstood, and unsupported, and alienated, and *alone,* and was constantly being gaslit that I *wasn't* struggling, or *really* upset; I was just too sensitive. And too lazy. And too inconsiderate. And too stubborn. And a disappointment, and not living up to my potential.
      But feeling worthless and depressed? *Everyone* felt that. That was just *life.*
      Honestly have no idea how I managed to not kill myself before I graduated. Friend of mine did.
      But hey, guess that's just *life.*

    • @S_H9260
      @S_H9260 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Same here. If being depressed is your baseline then even if it's not "normal" it's normal for you. I remember having that realization one day when walking to school. The same is true for physical health.

    • @serpentina3758
      @serpentina3758 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      🖤

    • @nimishabansal6
      @nimishabansal6 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      You described it perfectly. I got to understand true happiness only when I wasn't suicidal anymore. That is what I have known for most of my life.

  • @CamilaFuentes0227
    @CamilaFuentes0227 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4621

    I used to sleep soooo much. As soon as I arrived home from school I went to sleep and even on weekends I spent most of my time sleeping. My family used to mock me and say that I was just lazy. Only as an adult could I realise that actually I've been depressed since I was a child.

    • @user-mf7eb5he6y
      @user-mf7eb5he6y 3 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      I’ve been through this too

    • @dmn4747
      @dmn4747 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Yep

    • @Arcanenigma
      @Arcanenigma 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Sigh 😔 same.

    • @xiaoramyun
      @xiaoramyun 3 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      i relate to this alot....still do even as a 20 year old and idk hw to heal from this ...i juz dk hw

    • @NaraOfCambodia
      @NaraOfCambodia 3 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      For me, either that or mostly lose myself in gaming.

  • @sundhiaslarashati9821
    @sundhiaslarashati9821 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2427

    For me, it was the lack of interest/ numbness I guess. I remember the most difficult essay that I needed to write was an essay about the most memorable/happiest moment in your life. I just couldn't think of any.

    • @phoenixmoon5580
      @phoenixmoon5580 3 ปีที่แล้ว +188

      Those essays or 'get to know your class' type comments with: "What is a strength you have?", "Tell us something interesting about you..." etc. Eugh, those were horrible moments. I had and have none, or at least nothing I felt applied was appropriate to say aloud to the class apparently. I'd either say "I have none" (after experiencing the response of that several times, I realised that it was not something that the teacher wanted to hear!), or I'd sit in silence and pretend that I thought the teacher asked someone near or behind me (I'm sure many teachers questionned if I had oppositional defiance disorder at this point!). I found the 'pretending the question was asked to the [person next to/behind/in front of me]' was the most appropriate response. I got around the 'write what is the best part of your life' by writing about my parents. I was and am still blessed with AMAZING parents. So, my essay about 'MY life' ends up being about MY parents'. I don't think the teacher noticed or cared very much because despite not actually answering the question, they don't seem too good if they punish kids who write positive things about their parents...

    • @sundhiaslarashati9821
      @sundhiaslarashati9821 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @FlyingMonkies325 "unrealistic bubble.." Precisely! I was the smart, diligent, super obedient, goody-two-shoes student who would do everything in her power to obey the rules and be the best student. Just so my mother (who was also my high school teacher) could keep her social status/dignity whatsoever. I was once severely berated, blamed, without a chance of defending myself for being the object of a boy's puppy love. I wasn't interested! We weren't even dating. But my parents wouldn't let me have any say because apparently their 'mighty' colleagues said that we were!! Sorry for rambling. Best of luck for you to find a job that you're passionate about! That you care about. That would give value to your life and people around you.

    • @vindric8330
      @vindric8330 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I've experience this. I just wrote something generic.

    • @julielumsden5184
      @julielumsden5184 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I hated the back to school one where we had to write about our holidays. What holiday I used to make it up. Came from a big poor family. We were fortunate to have enough food a a mom who could magic with used clothing.

    • @PcCAvioN
      @PcCAvioN 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      When you don't have any memories because your brain has blocked out the vast majority of your time as a child

  • @slurpydurp7242
    @slurpydurp7242 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4214

    I was so dissociated that I didn’t hear people talk to me and just sat there like a rock until my teacher touched my shoulder. I’ve cried very easily and was often distressed. The thought of dying calmed me down and made me happy. I also loved sleeping time because it meant the day was finally over.
    I definitely had childhood depression

    • @violet9853
      @violet9853 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      how are you now? 🙂❤

    • @heatherfeather2621
      @heatherfeather2621 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Might watch their bpd videos then.

    • @Jay-pl3wk
      @Jay-pl3wk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +178

      Buddy, I relate. Sleeping felt so comforting because it was a way of escaping everything that happened while my eyes were open.

    • @Jay-pl3wk
      @Jay-pl3wk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      @@TheLategates shit. I understand. I internalised a lot to avoid conflict at home and be the perfect kid. I'm in therapy now and trust me, you deserve to express yourself. You are worthy of patience and acceptance. And when you remind yourself of this every time you have a self-hate thought, I'm sure you'll become kinder to yourself. I'm wishing you lots of love and luck and peace. 💙

    • @Jay-pl3wk
      @Jay-pl3wk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@TheLategates super proud.

  • @aprildiamond3299
    @aprildiamond3299 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5397

    Depression wasn't discussed when I was growing up. This is very useful

    • @aprildiamond3299
      @aprildiamond3299 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@patriciawalker851 Thank you, I like to learn. Im from Australia where everything is illegal unfortunately but do get my hands on weed from time to time which is useful lol.

    • @lkm630y79
      @lkm630y79 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      @@aprildiamond3299 Just please be careful and do your research before trying anything. I had a friend who used weed for her depression/anxiety and became paranoid as a side-effect

    • @aprildiamond3299
      @aprildiamond3299 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@lkm630y79 Thank you I definitely do research, everyone should. Unfortunately everyone is different with depression/anxiety so what works for one may not work for another. I hope your friend finds some relief.

    • @claudinesteenberge4920
      @claudinesteenberge4920 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Absolutely..I recall praying to Jesus that I not wake up in the morning..before I knew suicide was even a thing. But there was no platform at 8-9 years old in to talk about depression

    • @BlueHazyDreams
      @BlueHazyDreams 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@patriciawalker851 Psilocybin therapy treatments are being tested and even in my neck of the woods legalized for treatment of various mental health issues. It has been, excitingly, very promising for treatment-resistant depression. However I would not advise you do so without the guidance of a trained professional who can walk you through the experience. I would love to try this treatment someday with my therapist when the semantics are figured out, but I have heard how such things can go wrong without a friendly face to guide you and I have too much anxiety to subject myself to a bad trip.

  • @thisisntallowed9560
    @thisisntallowed9560 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4469

    Some parents are also very apathetic and sort of don't see their children as humans

    • @rachaelrogers2104
      @rachaelrogers2104 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Wha wha ...?? What? More like what way do they see them? I thing every person should think of that child's future ....thats not too much to ask either. For parental protection ...not protection from a parent. I love watching these interviews for Kyle just as much as all the professionals...you can really tell Kyle is a tough one with the smooth and relatable questions in the most sincerest way. Thanks for helping us humbly.

    • @thisisntallowed9560
      @thisisntallowed9560 3 ปีที่แล้ว +279

      @@rachaelrogers2104 I didn't think I'd get many likes, I sort of just wrote my emotions out, but here's maybe what I meant from it.
      Children are capable to think and feel all sorts of complex emotions, but it seems like some parents have a hard time imagining children could feel such "adult emotions" like depression. Some parents make these emotions and behaviors all about them because they see the child more as an extension of themselves or live through their kids.
      Some parents don't understand that their child have a life of their own. They don't see their "child's problems" as important because they don't seem important to them.
      Some parents don't understand that their child have agency, and instead they try to control the child's behavior instead of trusting their child to make the right decisions for themselves from a certain age.
      There's sort of a deshumanizing aspect to it and it feels like you're not being seen.
      Like, some parents don't care about their child's boundaries and hit them, and punish them when they protest, like you would never do with an adult.

    • @jameswalker7459
      @jameswalker7459 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      My real parents must thought I was a snake!fed me once and never fed me again.i was taken into care from the age of 2 for malnutrition....my foster parents were great fed me up until my behaviour GT so bad.i was put into borstal then jail in later Life!my depression anxiety is tough.i struggle day and night..I am at the moment breathing so that's good until am not I will fight through life with my depression anxiety attacks.

    • @jameswalker7459
      @jameswalker7459 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      @@thisisntallowed9560 your comment doesn't deserve a like! It deserves a 💖.....I love it..well said..I agree.....with everything you said especially the remark of not understanding your child's feelings I think it's because it's kids having kids especially here in Devon the mums are so young there only kids themselves how do they expect to bring up children?The world is mixed up just like most of these young kids having children.they need to grow up out of there childhoods before they bring kids into the world no wonder kids are dragged up and not brought up....

    • @rachaelrogers2104
      @rachaelrogers2104 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It seems to perpetuate itself

  • @hunnybee_
    @hunnybee_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3727

    I grew up in a “you’ve got it good / someone always has it worse, so be grateful” household. so yeah... there’s always going to be someone else who has it better or worse, but that doesn’t mean that i’m not ever going to have issues and that i shouldn’t be allowed to express said issues. 😕 a very “sweep it under the rug” mentality. trying to work through it now tho.
    also, i’m more of an internalized sufferer, than an outwardly one. so that doesn’t really help when it comes to talking about myself and my feelings. 😶

    • @omni8568
      @omni8568 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Yeah same whenever I say that I’m sad my parents just say that we are privileged and I should be sad. Luckily they’ve been listening to me more

    • @mmommo-hx4dx
      @mmommo-hx4dx 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      "Get Over it" my ex used to say

    • @oliviamyers5466
      @oliviamyers5466 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I'm literally the exact same way. I wish I wasn't sometimes becasue maybe opening up about it would help me but I just can't.

    • @mourningst5r
      @mourningst5r 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️

    • @awiiator
      @awiiator 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Saying that to children is nothing different from the children saying to their parents that "i got an E in math but many other peers got Fs so you should be glad"

  • @devashrikulkarni1337
    @devashrikulkarni1337 3 ปีที่แล้ว +731

    Makes me realise that raising a kid the right way is a very difficult thing to do.

    • @sola9219
      @sola9219 3 ปีที่แล้ว +138

      Right? that's why i dont wanna have kids, i dont want them to suffer. My thoughts are unhealthy, i doubt i can even raise a healthy kid

    • @Ada-zm8dk
      @Ada-zm8dk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      I realised it some time ago that's why I don't wanna have kids

    • @devashrikulkarni1337
      @devashrikulkarni1337 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@sola9219 You're self aware about your thoughts, that's great! I hope for you to overcome this soon! 🙌🙌

    • @devashrikulkarni1337
      @devashrikulkarni1337 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Ada-zm8dk Yeah, even I feel the same. ://

    • @fullofhope6978
      @fullofhope6978 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Indeed it is. #understatementofthedecade

  • @kellykelly7747
    @kellykelly7747 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1858

    I was a quiet, shy, down, under active, isolating type of kid with depression.

    • @katejones2172
      @katejones2172 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Me too xxx

    • @kellykelly7747
      @kellykelly7747 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Omg. Me too. I know longer drink. It became a problem for me.

    • @elennevdogtraining3241
      @elennevdogtraining3241 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      I was just like that, and I couldn't see a way out, I even had harmful thoughts, I just decided not to act on them, and I am glad I didn't, but it would have made a huge difference to have someone who actually cared.

    • @randomsoul9970
      @randomsoul9970 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Me too

    • @randomsoul9970
      @randomsoul9970 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Living Soul no . What is it about

  • @wendyreiersen2875
    @wendyreiersen2875 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1329

    I thought that you would talk about signs of an adult who grew up with depression. You made some important points. We need to think about why kids are doing what they are doing, not just punish or try to change the behavior. But don’t forget quiet kids who might be isolating in their rooms or off to the side, maybe underperforming in school, maybe not speaking up in class, not making friends, ... maybe sleeping a lot, maybe with headaches or stomach aches, ... kids who say that they think that everyone hates them, ... These kids need help. They tend to be invisible, but they desperately need to be seen. This is how they fall through the cracks. This was me.
    And how does this play out as an adult? Vulnerability to abusive relationships, low self esteem, underachieving, hopelessness, continuing depression,...

    • @attheranch873
      @attheranch873 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Yes, this.

    • @KarenYoutubeTV
      @KarenYoutubeTV 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Yes

    • @lahamh
      @lahamh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +117

      The ‘oh don’t worry they’re just shy / quiet’ child.
      No one seems to ‘see’ these kids, they aren’t naughty or failing academically bad enough to warrant attention so they become background noise to everyone else.
      You feel like background noise roo

    • @jeanrewss
      @jeanrewss 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This!!!!!

    • @thatsdope9571
      @thatsdope9571 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Me too I clicked on the video because of that but It turned out to be informative too

  • @25beee
    @25beee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1386

    Have you ever considered that the kid can just hide their depression by showing driven attitude, still going to school, doing all kind of activities, but when there's no one watching s/he will go quiet, and thinking about death?
    Because that happens to me since elementary school up until now (now I'm already an adult), I can show a bubbly personality and straight just lay down thinking about how to stab myself or how hollow the life is.
    Some people even a kid can hide their true behavior just like that so no one would worry about her/him, and I think I'm one of them

    • @ThisIsShortStuff
      @ThisIsShortStuff 3 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      It's the same with me... I was always the quite, shy one with a very bad anxiety and depression, and up until now no one noticed that something is wrong. When I was younger I got seriously bullied at school, but I couldn't tell anyone. My home was really abusive. I grow up with a manipulative, alcoholic father and a narcissistic mother, my brother also had problems... so of course i was alone with my mind.
      Everybody thinks I'm happy and living my life,but honestly I'm always thinking of death/being dead and what's the point of living. The only person who hold me here is my best friend. I don't want to hurt her.

    • @25beee
      @25beee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@ThisIsShortStuff I can't imagine the hardship you get from your family, it must be hurt a lot.
      I do have close friends, if it's not because of them, maybe I already gone by now, but I think they don't know how important they are to me.
      I really hope you can hold on to something, because that something even a little thing can hold us from falling into a deeper hole

    • @mirellaalbert
      @mirellaalbert 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      There is also the high functioning depression (at least for adults), where it is hard to see that someone has depression... so that's why people around would tell, you don't have depression....right, because I don't show it?

    • @GoldenEmotions
      @GoldenEmotions 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@mirellaalbert As someone effected by HFDepression I can tell you that it definitely can apply during childhood already. It's just rare to be noticed as very few children are being psychologically treated when they are 12 or younger. Especially with HFDepression there is 'no reason' to treat a child's issues because they 'function so well'... ... ... :/

    • @25beee
      @25beee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@mirellaalbert agree

  • @2012jordie
    @2012jordie 3 ปีที่แล้ว +841

    "I don't care what [our] ego tells us." This is important. So many of our parents thought they were giving us "discipline" when they were actually giving us depression. We weren't allowed to criticise them, and they never stopped to think about how their behaviour made us feel. Negligent, egocentric parents are a child's first lesson in being powerless and unable to trust authority. They let us cry in our rooms alone or even punished us for withdrawing and only noticed our habits when they started affecting our grades, because having kids who failed in or washed out of school was embarrassing for them. The term "school refusal" was used on me never to explain or treat any problem but simply to make me feel shame for being a school refuser. Well, it worked. I felt so much shame I attempted suicide at 16. Then I dropped out of school and didn't go back until I was 29, and I felt shame for taking so long to do it.

    • @aparajitadas9745
      @aparajitadas9745 3 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      Hi, there. Don't know you but still have to say it. You don't have to feel shame for doing something that didn't bring harm to another person. Your parents should be ashamed for harming you, not that you should be ashamed to drop out from school. You at least showed the guts and perseverance to go back and start it all again. Most people don't have that courage or strength. So carry on and all the very best 👍🙌

    • @lilydragoneel4170
      @lilydragoneel4170 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you for working up the strength to go back to school, especially with the difficulties you've faced in the past relating to it. And there's no shame in going at your own pace with things and within what you're capable of doing. Everyone is different and as long as you're trying your best for you and you're living your life, that's all you need to do!! It's obviously a lot easier said than done, but I hope that you can work more and more towards feeling proud of yourself for enduring and taking big steps for yourself like going back to school. Pat yourself on the back for that :) And don't forget that this is YOUR life at the end of the day, not anyone else's, and as long as you're not hurting others, including yourself, you can do whatever you want and at whatever pace you need to. *hugs*

    • @userm180
      @userm180 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      im sorry dear. are you ok now?

    • @zaphantom3181
      @zaphantom3181 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      \ʕ •3• ʔ/ Hug!!

    • @taradonelson9242
      @taradonelson9242 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      As someone with a Narcissistic mother and enabling father, your story is mine almost word for word, though I didn't attempt suicide or drop out, myself. I'm glad you're here. We made it through, didn't we?

  • @sumeyrateke
    @sumeyrateke 3 ปีที่แล้ว +325

    Back in college, a professor of mine observed how I was and asked if I was depressed. That was the first time someone finally said what I’ve been avoiding to accept to myself for YEARS. I told my mom a few weeks after, and she laughed at me and said that “you haven’t lived a life to even know what depression is like! I had depression, and you will never know how it was!”.
    I pray I will never be like her with my own future kids.

    • @voodoodolll
      @voodoodolll 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      That hits home... The sad truth is *every* parent fucks up their kids in one way or another. If you truly want to avoid all that, you have a real choice; don't have kids. If you wanting a kid is about saving a life, then adopt.
      But most people have kids to tape up their messed up life, like your mum did. It's always "me, me, me", never a thought for the kid. Seriously. Ask literally any parent why they had kids and see how long it takes them to say "I want" or "me". It's a cycle of selfish degradation.

    • @RobinFlysHigh
      @RobinFlysHigh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      That's kind of my mom has become. I try to explain to her why things were difficult for me growing up and she'll tell me I hade a great childhood and what am I talking abour

    • @userm180
      @userm180 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      dear im so sorry. i hope youre ok now

    • @thunderblossom8114
      @thunderblossom8114 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@voodoodolll My fiancé and I want kids. We both also want to raise them differently then how our parents did. I want to provide them with a safe environment to talk to us about stuff. I know you have to be careful not to be their friend though. And he wants to be able to sit down as a family and eat together and do stuff together. He didn’t have that really growing up. It took him a long time just to get used to sitting and eating with me when we’d hang out/be on a date. I also try hard to provide a safe space for him to vent since his mom is similar with just get over it and will make him get pissed off then be all confused and say he’s overreacting and shouldn’t be when he is pissed

    • @Galactea101
      @Galactea101 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      My mom always says "you haven't suffered enough, wait until you're my age then you'll know suffering"

  • @chelseagirl278
    @chelseagirl278 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1218

    When I was 15, I remember giving away all my belongings and saying goodbye to people. My mother took me to the doctor, I explained I was tired all the time. He replied “you are just being a teenager”. That is the mid-80s.

    • @stevec404
      @stevec404 3 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      k hanna - It was also the mid 60's! Not much progress, huh.

    • @chelseagirl278
      @chelseagirl278 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @@stevec404 sadly

    • @GoldenOwlEvents
      @GoldenOwlEvents 3 ปีที่แล้ว +115

      I am so sorry you were suffering and nobody around understood that. That is totally awful to go through.

    • @chelseagirl278
      @chelseagirl278 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@GoldenOwlEvents thank you that means so much! ❤️

    • @marzsyarqowy6933
      @marzsyarqowy6933 3 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      I didn't even know I was not okay most of the time. I thought crying myself to sleep is normal since I've been doing that since I was three. I thought my stomach was just telling me it needs food or more water. I thought creating inaginary worlds is just a normal way to pass the time. The dreadful feeling I had was just me being "dramatic" again, they'd say.
      I always feel like it's okay to slip away and disappear, because no one would notice it anyway. I always felt abandoned but they taught me that it was normal. _wtf_

  • @StarlitLilies
    @StarlitLilies 3 ปีที่แล้ว +478

    My phases of depression growing up:
    Early Childhood- quiet; disengaged
    Middle Childhood- aggressive; violent
    Adolescence- melancholic
    Adulthood- apathetic

    • @vallentinaoliveira5013
      @vallentinaoliveira5013 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It's the same for me

    • @HonkTheMusic
      @HonkTheMusic 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Honestly same. I prefer the apathy, I see it as an advantage in my life. Nothing tying me down

    • @jamesyanga9325
      @jamesyanga9325 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      O sht thats me

    • @real_potatohead1970
      @real_potatohead1970 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah...I am in that adolescence age...

    • @jsansdream6860
      @jsansdream6860 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      This a little to accurate I’m in melancholic part

  • @jinx17
    @jinx17 3 ปีที่แล้ว +543

    I had real anxiety and depression as a child. I remember telling my mom I was sick with a stomach ache all the time and she thought I was faking. I told her it felt like a rock in the bottom of my stomach, I felt nauseted. But nothing was wrong they could tell, even regular doctors (of course not psychiatrists). Obviously looking back that was a symptom of childhood anxiety. Because it makes them tummy sick, and they don't know how to explain it, especially when they immediately are fine when they don't have to go thru with whatever is causing them distress. When children felt wrong about something a lot of times they'll say their tummy hurts. I know when I was sexually abused I always could feel it in my gut as a kid thinking about it. And in those cases I've heard a lot of kids will say their tummy hurt when it happened. Our guts are very sensitive.

    • @bangbutton8322
      @bangbutton8322 3 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      This so extremely relatable. I hope you don’t mind me tagging on. I had severe, unexplained childhood constipation and doctors could not figure it out. I was the “most constipated they had ever seen”. I also had unexplained bladder pain daily. I would urinate one time a day to avoid the pain. I never drank water, and I didn’t have parents in my life that could protect or care for me. I fell between the cracks. I was suffering from severe childhood abuse. Now as a 26 year old woman I force myself out of learned helplessness daily. I have gone to pelvic floor therapy for the bladder pain I suffered from for 14 years. The first thing the physical therapist asked me was about my history of childhood sexual abuse. I do my best to drink water. I attempt to eat healthy. I go to mental health treatments. It’s like I have a child inside of me and I have to tend to her because no one else did, and it’s my responsibility as an adult. I can finally be the adult that I needed in my life. We all deserve that.

    • @kathymagnus5681
      @kathymagnus5681 3 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      I’m so sorry about your struggles, but also impressed with how far you’ve come. You should be proud of yourself.

    • @dianacrow7509
      @dianacrow7509 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Solar plexus? Train running through your gut? I empathize, but that be the core center in which healing begins, Im learning. Mind-body connection? Prayers all...♡

    • @clake8931
      @clake8931 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Exactly ! I had a lot of stomach aches due to child abuse by a male relative,anxiety, severely depressed, but we didn’t talk about it. Kids aren’t supposed to be depressed. 😕

    • @heyalexiajanee
      @heyalexiajanee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Wow! I had stomach issues. I would wake up for school with knots in my stomach. Sometimes I had to force myself to eat breakfast. I just thought everyone felt that way in the morning. I hated school and I started having depression in college. I was later diagnosed as bipolar after a suicide attempt. I questioned God, like why would you make someone like this. My mind was all I had, I was the weird funny girl. I started seeing a therapist but the after a year of depression I couldnt take it and got hospitalized. My mom was always there for me, if it wasnt for her I would be unmedicated living in the street like so many others. I hope me sharing this makes someone feel less alone. 🧡

  • @colourfulmind4664
    @colourfulmind4664 3 ปีที่แล้ว +172

    My family was messed up and that’s what drove me into getting an eating disorder, anxiety and depression. My parents literally told me I am „tearing the family apart with my problems“ etc, even though they were the reason for all of this.

    • @amateruss
      @amateruss 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Looks like you are in a narc home.

    • @femaleskater1185
      @femaleskater1185 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      My dad has also told me that I’m “breaking the family apart” a few times… it’s the worst feeling. I’m sorry

    • @doublev4409
      @doublev4409 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Yep. My stepdad used to tell my mom that she was the reason her first husband was dead...and now that she's passed away, he says she died because of me. Because I didn't take care of her or some sh*t like that. Took me 5 years to convince myself that it wasn't my fault. Everyone in my family is shitty, so I don't call them my family anymore. It's better to call myself an orphan, no offense to anyone. Wonder when I'll heal from the lava of resentment burning inside me. One thing's certain tho...I ain't ever forgiving any of them.

    • @pastelskiesz1277
      @pastelskiesz1277 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm sorry that you went through that. 🥺 Please know that you are strong, you are worthy, you are capable and you are loved 💗 💛 I'm so proud of you. 😊 You have come so far. ⭐ ☺✨ Focus on your health and love yourself and definitely do not let anyone tear you down.

    • @butterflytiffany
      @butterflytiffany 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This comment section 💖 home for the scapegoats. I felt really horrible today but i see I’m not alone and it’s not my fault. I get really angry at God for putting me here. I wish us scapegoats could live on a peaceful safe island together

  • @kaishaman7144
    @kaishaman7144 3 ปีที่แล้ว +121

    For many parents, a depressed teenager is an ideal child. They (the teenager) are more often quiet, reserved, do not party with friends, do not get in trouble... "A child should be seen and not heard" -- a depressed kid is often neither seen nor heard (having locked themself in their room). This child often does not defend their boundaries, interests and desires, which means for the parents that they are not "rebellious" (because, let's face it, parents call their child "rebellious" when that child finally gathers the courage to speak up and defend their personal boundaries -- and nobody in power likes that). A perfect, obedient, convenient child. Until one day they become a dead child, or, sometimes years later, a dead adult.
    My parents were certainly happy that I was depressed from 12 to 25 years old. It's not their fault, they did not know any better. But today's parents have a duty to learn and do better than our parents could.

    • @oswaldrabbit1409
      @oswaldrabbit1409 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I disagree with the concept that it's almost always kids defending boundaries when they're rebellious, as a 16 year old myself.

    • @userm180
      @userm180 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      are u alright now?

    • @kaishaman7144
      @kaishaman7144 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@oswaldrabbit1409 You are right, people (including teenagers) are different. I did not mean that "a rebellious teenager" is ALWAYS just defending their boundaries, I meant that it is OFTEN the case (in my experience). Perhaps I should have stated it more clearly

    • @kaishaman7144
      @kaishaman7144 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@teemun3979 I am sorry to hear that. I hope reactions of people around you are better now

    • @kaishaman7144
      @kaishaman7144 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@userm180 Yes, thank you for asking. It took a lot of work to change my life to the better, some support from other people around me, some psychotherapy, but I am very happy with my life right now (just a few years ago I would not have believed that something like that is possible). So, for anybody out there who needs to hear it: it does get better, so you might want to stick around

  • @CreativeSelfTherapy
    @CreativeSelfTherapy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +711

    I remember going to elementary school feeling depressed. It was awful, but I didn’t know what was happening. I can so relate. I hate depression.

    • @Alwaysherethere
      @Alwaysherethere 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Growing up I don't remember not being depressed. I thought everyone felt the same way . I know now that that's not true. But as I move forward I'm still fighting Bipolar depression .

    • @tashastarling870
      @tashastarling870 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Depression did shape my childhood. Children didn't understand, I couldn't understand them, the adults either treated me like a friend or scoffed at me for having a bad attitude and not participating. No one could speak to me directly about, and I grew up thinking my depression wasn't like other peoples'. And I didnt exactly grow out of it - it is part of my temperament and it's still taking time to get to know myself, as there aren't many like me who can be themselves publicly.

    • @rosemariekury9186
      @rosemariekury9186 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I remember that too. In fact I wanted to run away when I was about 8 or 9 but don’t remember why. I had a horrible teacher who picked on me in school and illness which probably didn’t help. My mother also suffered from it and wasn’t treated for it in the 50s so I think may be genetic. My daughter also suffers from it and both of us are on meds.

    • @radioactive_sunflowerz2450
      @radioactive_sunflowerz2450 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Same, I was an irritable child, for some reason almost anything could annoy me. I always hated school and would go out of my way to fake being sick to avoid school. Then as I grew older my behavior changed around middle school just like how they explained in the video, I switched from irritable to being passive and tired all the time, my interest in things diminishing until nothing made me happy anymore.

    • @elennevdogtraining3241
      @elennevdogtraining3241 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Me too, but it hit me when I started middle school, it was very hard and I felt utterly alone

  • @robindabreu34
    @robindabreu34 3 ปีที่แล้ว +285

    I've had anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember.

    • @freespirit7450
      @freespirit7450 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same here.

    • @E_MZ_
      @E_MZ_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      So have I. My mom just always called me sensitive.

    • @mahdis9316
      @mahdis9316 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same man. I feel so bad right now that i wanna die

    • @Bella-ux4yz
      @Bella-ux4yz 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too and I don't even know why

  • @pinstripesuitandheels
    @pinstripesuitandheels 3 ปีที่แล้ว +288

    My neighbour has a grandchild that she takes care of after school. She's a little girl of about five or six. This girl has multiple tantrums a day. She's incredibly defiant and she screams and wails so loudly, I can hear it through my noise cancelling headphones. I hate it when she does it, it gives me a headache, but my instincts say there is something wrong. This child is trying to tell something. Last summer they were having a barbecue in the evening and I could hear Lizzy (fake name) wailing while her parents, grandparents, aunties and uncles were having a grand 'ole time. She was screaming " I want to sleep, I want to sleep!" Everybody just ignored her. It took me every cell in my being not to explode all over those adults and shout they should take their tired child to bed. It was about ten p.m.
    I might be projecting because I wasn't getting my needs met as a little child, but I truly believe that girl needs better parenting and even a therapist. It just breaks my heart.

    • @cm-yu6gu
      @cm-yu6gu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      Don't be afraid to speak up
      I know it seems brash and not your place, but don't give a fuck
      We're all humans and we all deserve love

    • @KryssLaBryn
      @KryssLaBryn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      Even if the parents etc ignore you, just knowing that an adult *did* hear her and *did* try to help her might help her, if not now, then some day.

    • @allana6960
      @allana6960 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Please do something!

    • @Demi.d3mi
      @Demi.d3mi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Do something! Maybe the social pressure and the thought of being gossiped about will make them step up?

    • @allana6960
      @allana6960 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@Demi.d3mi " the thought of being gossip" would only make it worse to the next level,truly. She needs to know what's happening while talk to the girl without them knowing it and if it's needed talk to the authorities, it does look shady tho...

  • @camillac.s.279
    @camillac.s.279 3 ปีที่แล้ว +371

    I pray for all the people in this commentary who came here to portray their pain , their experience.
    I feel your pain and so sorry for anyone whose life has been affected by difficult - dysfunctional families , whose life-choices have been done under the shadow of what you were going throught in your life because of your parents or caregiver . ❤️🙏

  • @manijike
    @manijike 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I can't believe my family was laughing at me when I used to talk about dying every single day my whole childhood. And now they take credit for my life achievements that I was only able to reach when I moved out of town. I really struggle to forgive.

    • @freddy4603
      @freddy4603 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      We have really a fucked up perception of forgiveness and forgiving. Mostly because christianity tells us that's what we should always do and that's the only way to move on, but there is a different option.
      People deserve forgiveness only when they've _themselves_ have proven to not only want forgiveness, acknowledge what they've done and have changed how they act to not do that again. (I'm gonna assume your parents haven't done that).
      But if they haven't done those things, then the way to move on is to accept how they are. Don't forgive those who don't even see what they did wrong, accept that they're just like that and adapt to the reality of the situation.
      It's a shame christianity doesn't teach the alternative to forgiveness, or that forgiving someone is actually a cooperative task that can't be done only from onse side, because that leads a lot of people to come back to toxic and unhealthy relantionships.

  • @r.1599
    @r.1599 3 ปีที่แล้ว +400

    Interesting that the reasons given for why the child might possibly not want to go to school didn't include being bullied. That would be my first guess.

    • @elennevdogtraining3241
      @elennevdogtraining3241 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      My mother was a teacher for many years, my aunts my cousins and sisters are teachers and that is not always the case, although it is common, we can generalize that most kids with depression are being bullied

    • @NothingE1se
      @NothingE1se 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      I was just looking for this comment. Thanks for pointing it out! Also, a toxic school culture that doesn’t promote students’ wellbeing may have the same effect on some without explicit bullying episodes.

    • @amateruss
      @amateruss 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      No, I was like this in HS. I was never bullied, but I felt like life was meaningless. Well, now that I am out of depression I just realize that it really is meaningless. I just hope I die in my sleep.

    • @elennevdogtraining3241
      @elennevdogtraining3241 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@amateruss I know how that feels, I was never bullied and I had anxiety and depression all the way through HS as well, is not like there was no reason, but the signs were all there and my parents missed them all. Once I became an adult and started working, I found help and got better.

    • @marzsyarqowy6933
      @marzsyarqowy6933 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I was bullied way before I even entered school. One of my first memories ever stored is either me crying myself to sleep every other afternoon, or me berserking due to stress overload, that was at the age of three or four.
      Primary school was hell, filled with bullies and backstabbers. I remembered refusing to go to school for half a year at times.
      In middle school I was not bullied at all but the extreme discomfort I felt back in Primary was brought forward. I was becoming my own antagonist.
      Support system is definitely crucial when it comes to fighting against bully. But in my case, colleagues and families were both the bullies, it broke me more than I care to admit.

  • @Jade-ui5ml
    @Jade-ui5ml 3 ปีที่แล้ว +178

    I relate with many comments here. I've had depression and social anxiety almost my whole life but my parents never gave me attention, for them I was just the perfect daughter who was always at home, quiet and 'shy', I even had a suicide attempt, things are calmer now but I still have social anxiety and depression comes and goes from time to time but I'm trying to keep myself out of it... It sucks that they never notice it before....

    • @userm180
      @userm180 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      im sorry love. are u seeking help?

    • @mrsfaye9398
      @mrsfaye9398 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I can relate absolutely. Trying to maintain my therapist sessions with the VA now has been a challenge.

  • @kaylaworley6109
    @kaylaworley6109 3 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    The content here is so great, but I feel like the title is a little misleading. This isn’t about adults who grew up with depression, but about the signs of depression IN kids

    • @kohljackal
      @kohljackal 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Very unclear. I thought it was either adults who were depressed as kids or adults who grew up with depressed parents. I never thought this was actually about how kids present.

    • @katejones2172
      @katejones2172 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I agree bit disappoointed tbh

    • @katejones2172
      @katejones2172 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Start with Starch OK cheers love!!

  • @foggymeadows4018
    @foggymeadows4018 3 ปีที่แล้ว +362

    Wish i can send this to my mom without her saying "it's all in our minds" and " Just pray to God and everything will be better" :)

    • @Kjj17
      @Kjj17 3 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      Or even worse "your anxiety and depression is sin because you're not trusting god. Pray more about it and it'll go away."

    • @kriti_30
      @kriti_30 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Bruuuh this shit hit too close to home

    • @carinicole3767
      @carinicole3767 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Wow, yes.

    • @totzirger5125
      @totzirger5125 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Your mom most likely does not know God. If she did, you would have learned through her, and truly found salvation. You are simply the blind following the blind.

    • @xolomonvazquez8204
      @xolomonvazquez8204 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This was a little bit too realistic for me

  • @karleymurphy
    @karleymurphy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +153

    I remember going to my parents at the age of 10 and telling them I felt that I had been dealing with depression for a lot of my life and mom basically said we'll you're too young to have depression and when I finally got diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety after my dad died and my doctor validated that yes I had been dealing with it for most of my life, and dealing with my dad's death (I was 16 or 17) was what sent me into an almost psychotic break , she shut up real quick.

    • @Demi.d3mi
      @Demi.d3mi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I’m so happy for you to finally be validated

    • @meagenberstecher2713
      @meagenberstecher2713 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I relate so much to your comment. In my case it was my dad getting a prison sentence that sent me over the edge and made me have a good excuse to seek help. Even though it was a tragic event, sometimes I feel like I would be worse off if it didn't happen. Granted, I never did find the "perfect" medication and stopped seeing my therapist years ago because it was so emotionally draining.

    • @userm180
      @userm180 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      im so sorry. are u alright now

  • @happyhighlighter2726
    @happyhighlighter2726 3 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    I actually dont really remember my childhood. But what I remember is feeling desperate, sad, anxious, alienated and hurt. Now at 24, I know that I suffered from anxiety and depression almost my entire Life.

    • @gemdumet3125
      @gemdumet3125 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Actually, a sign of childhood trauma is not remembering most of it. Trauma changes the way your brain develops and how you store memories

    • @coreyroberts47
      @coreyroberts47 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Dude same. I live in a mental hospital now. I was texting my mom about memory issues and she blew it off. Some things never change lol

    • @userm180
      @userm180 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      im sorry. are u ok now?

  • @kellykelly7747
    @kellykelly7747 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Can completely identify with the hopeless, helpless feeling. Also the feeling of "something is wrong, something is going to go wrong, or I have done something wrong, feeling all the time.

  • @REChronic54
    @REChronic54 3 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    I remember having a lot of sad days, feeling like there was a separation between me and classmates, wondering about life...but I can't fully say I was depressed. I had to deal with it all myself. Point is, even if kids aren't depressed, kids go through a lot of hormonal changes, changes in their views, independence and many times there are no outlets to talk about these feelings.

  • @ourhumblecommode
    @ourhumblecommode 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    I was overly quiet, throughly compliant, and withdrawn.

  • @LenaDoesTarot
    @LenaDoesTarot 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    As someone who has grown up with depression and a narcissistic mother, this has helped me to not feel like I was such a bad kid. I think we hold on to the idea that we aren’t lovable because we thought we were so difficult in the past, I know I still struggle with it. Thanks medcircle for another great video.

    • @LenaDoesTarot
      @LenaDoesTarot 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Wang Dong Gaming News these are your limitations, not mine

  • @dianacrow7509
    @dianacrow7509 3 ปีที่แล้ว +142

    Grateful you're addressing this issue...I am 68 now. As a Bipolar child, blended with C-PTSD. My dear Mother (RIP) would say, "Snap out of it!" which unfortunately sent me deeper into a dark hole. Leaving it virtually impossible for me to reach out, or others to pull me out. I commend you, thank you.

    • @phoenixmoon5580
      @phoenixmoon5580 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I remember having this understanding about me far sooner than I had the words for it. I still struggle explaining it. I felt there was two versions of my life running next to each other. One was an actual life and I remember things from it with a brightness you only can see in film effects. It contained time spent with one or both of my parents (they were and are happily married), my home life, my relatives, and oddly enough school, but just the lesson parts (as I liked the experience of gaining knowledge!). The other was this place where I was mostly either heavily dissociating, or thinking of how not to exist or be noticed by my childminder. When I dissociated I heavily dissociated. I also began to dissociate at home too out of habit. My Mum could be so close to my ear she might touch it and yell my name, whilst clicking, and/or clapping, and/or waving infront of my open eyes... sometimes it would take her 15mins of this. Then when she asked what I was doing, I'd usually reply 'watching TV', then I'd look at the TV and see that it was off (and was properly off at the plug off!), and if I touched it soon afterwards it would have been cool (so it wasn't Mum playing games!). I'd actually beg to try and go to school even if I was ill because not going meant it was harder (walking to and from school twice as much as I would have otherwise, if I had a headache the childminder would hoover, I'd have to deal with the childminder, and I generally was more miserable). So, as I got older I realised that these two versions of reality were getting further and further apart (a bit like an upside down 'V' shape). At the time, I felt I was both straddling the void, and jumping to and fro. Then it got too far for me to handle very well. However, due to the implied (and I bet direct) threats from the childminder causing my parents problems, I knew which version would be parroted. "How was your childhood?" "I really liked spending time with my parents. They both said they planned to have me, and always wanted a daughter that is [description of me]. My Mum got off work sooner than Dad did, and tended to help me with doing more learning. I really like school. Look at my latest report, it says that I am a good student. The sun always shines in my life...". But no Psychiatrist or Therapist ever asked the question: "If everything is so amazing, why is your earliest memory your thoughts about not wanting to exist?". When I was 10 or 11 years old, I stopped attending the childminder. However, the seeds the childminder has planted in my parents and myself have never stopped growing. I now refer to what was my life as my 'existance' because I'm not living any more. I have a lounge, not a living room. I know I will need intense therapy to solve the entrenched issues I have. I query having PTSD, and a friend I have online with CPTSD heard some of my background and heard what I experienced, and said that it would be very very likely (maybe even more likely) that I have CPTSD. Just current health issues and ability to contact relevant health professionals due to the current circumstances, have caused quite a long delay in getting diagnosed. I'd really appreciate seeing a 'how do you know you were abused (mentally/psychologically, emotionally, verbally) as a child' episode.

    • @dianacrow7509
      @dianacrow7509 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for sharing...embracing our darkside can be seemingly treacherous, but very rewarding ~ in order to complete our journey to wholeness. I, often felt guilt, seeing the disdain and dismay in other's eyes... when I couldn't break the grip of my depression. Which only throttled yet more emotional mood swings. They only mean well, I wasn't "average", "normal" no matter how hard I try. (Only place I've ever found "NORMAL" was on a dishwasher or a washing machine...no lie! Lmao!!!)
      HugZz ALL, (namaste)

    • @dianacrow7509
      @dianacrow7509 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      There is a book..."The Black Dogs"; the author John...? I do not believe it to be the real, true author though. I think I know whom could not allow his true identity to be known. Describes in an eloquent, fluidly poignant presentation of how deep moods can penetrate our very souls. I had to digest it in doses, tho. Peace Out!
      ~♡~

    • @phoenixmoon5580
      @phoenixmoon5580 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dianacrow7509 Only in the dark can the stars seem so bright! With depression, I found that hormones (particularly menstrual flow time) can cause something managed and functional to become something that made me question if I should go to a psych inpatient because something bad's gunna happen if I don't! I never went inpatient, but instead asked my doc (who accidentally has a specialty in 'women's health' and 'reproductive health'). I'm now on a treatment plan to prevent me having menstrual flows and manage my hormones. It made a tremendous difference, and I'm not exhausted from however many months build up blood loss. (Mine were heavy, and irregular. Also, it seemed that I would bleed the amount of however many months I didn't bleed for in the same 5 to 7 days! And weirdly enough I never had anemia, probably to spite this!).
      I have a lot of identity problems. (I'm lucky enough to be a biological female with parts that match, and feel 'I should be born female'. So I'm not talking about that aspect of identity!). It is almost like I haven't properly met myself. I've been trying to find it through various ways. During this journey I found I had repressed memories. A fist sized specific part of what I imagine to be my brain actually felt numb. I did a test to check it wasn't just my scalp. (I did various things to that specific area: fingertip massage, comb/brush, jabbed at it with my fingernails etc). I could feel the different sensations on my scalp, but the part lower down still felt numb. (I heard that there isn't any pain/pressure type sensors in layers beneath the scalp, unsure if true or not!). Over time (and repeated non epileptic seizures lasting anywhere from 10mins to over 4hrs, a handy symptom from my Functional Neurological Disorder!), I rediscovered more memories. I had to be careful, as pushing to discover more could and would trigger seizures. During this journey I also found out that there might be others in here, as in I think I have undiagnosed (well partly diagnosed) DID. So, that could contribute more to the identity issues, but I still don't know myself. I've been annoying my parents to tell me the truth about their perceptions/experiences (as well as what was said by whom when!) about my childhood. When they asked me 'why', I told them because I want to know who I am. I think a paraphrased quote from a cdrama makes sense here: 'I want to live clearly than to exist with my vision obscured'. Essentially it was several long emails back and forth to explain that concept. They understood and said they would think about it and discuss. (I think past memories regarding my childhood are a bit painful from them as it was around that time that their employment was a huge causal factor in a long period of painful difficult experiences. So them remembering my childhood may connect or trigger their recollection of the painful/difficult experiences, if that makes sense!). It was only when I dropped so many truthbombs on an issue I refuse to let go on (on a specific circumstance involving a specific person, but calling 'that' a person would offend persons!), that they got my point. Maybe it was lots of things adding up. Or maybe it was me finally not turning my feelings inwards but turning it outwards, and that emotion was clearly anger, after 20yrs of not even experiencing it. (I kinda programmed myself not to feel anger when I was about 12yrsish. Whilst I knew it could have some benefits, I also knew that it was most likely the emotion that would get out of control the easiest, and then the behaviours would also give me legal trouble. Essentially I was a 12yr old that didn't want to go to jail/prison for violent acts because my emotions got the best of me!). For about 20yrs, if there was anything externally (be a person, an object etc) that I'd feel anger or even just mild frustration at, my parents would see me turn inwards and I'd experience that as disappointment in myself, self hatred/self loathing/self blame and other similar things. I might also take it out on myself in various unhealthy ways including self violence. I gotta admit, stopping 'hiding the truth' (or in my mind 'protecting my parents'), and opening up about how unwell I currently am in many ways was terrifying and embarrassing. (I was always told I was 'over dramatising' things, or that I was 'over sensitive'. It was the specific person's words which were planted as a seed in my parents' minds without them realising). Also, saying certain things about the specific person was terrifying incase my parents didn't think I was over dramatising things and realised it was actually the truth. Eugh. Anyway, parents' have agreed to tell me, and have begun to send me small steps through emails (currently it's just a bit of an intro, and feels very therapyish. However I can tell my parents have put a lot of thought, time, and effort into what they have been doing thus far. My Mum was a teacher, so I bet this feels a bit like her summer holiday curriculum overhauls. I hope this isn't causing too much negativity for her. I worry about her, but I know she has my Dad (the other half of her team!) there to tell her to stop or whatever if issues arise. She also has the independant power to choose what she does and how she does it!). Fingers crossed our hard work pays off.

  • @陳查理-c2c
    @陳查理-c2c 3 ปีที่แล้ว +265

    I started skipping school when I was 10. All I did every day was just locking myself inside my room and sleep for the whole day. People said I was just lazy.

    • @jesmasa1
      @jesmasa1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I was 10 when I skipped too. That was the same year i started feeling sad and I hated my teacher. Everyone treated me like I was just a bad kid they didnt question why I skipped

    • @rhondabitler2461
      @rhondabitler2461 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I can trace mine back to 10. Prior to that I have good memories.

    • @abiri7309
      @abiri7309 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I had similar experience until college..

    • @abiri7309
      @abiri7309 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@extrashotofespresso_ I too had suicidal thoughts.. my mum stood by me and that helped me a lot..

    • @陳查理-c2c
      @陳查理-c2c 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@extrashotofespresso_ I'm sorry for you and your sister's situation, and I appreciate your effort for helping her. I guess that was my sister's feeling when she thinks about me, too.
      I don't know the situation in your family, but people also always view my family as a good one, even though my parents divorced when I was very young. My mom had tried her best to provide me any material she could. But I still underwent severe neglect and domestic violence. My sister was depressed too when she was 13, and since then she has turned her focus to the outside world instead of our family. I will get to her issues later.
      I grew up seeing my parents shout at each other, and being bullied by my sister and her friends. My mom runs a private tutoring institution and she was always too busy to take care of the family. I had experience of not being fed for meals, and had to poop in front of everyone (I was 2 or 3 as I can remember) so that somebody (the parents or the older students or the teachers) could notice me and clean me up. My mom asked my sister to do all the jobs to take care of me, and she was a kid too. So she asked all her friends to bully me ever since I was 3 (that's the earliest memory I could recall). By the time I was six, I witnessed my father beating my mother, and soon they got divorced. I was asked in the court to choose which side I wanna follow. You can imagine how traumatic that experience is for a 6-year-old.
      For some reason I had always been a very sensitive kid. At that time, I somehow sensed that people took divorce as a shame, but everyone knows. I could feel that my mom wanted to appear ok in front of other people. So I pretended I didn't know anything. I think it made a huge difference between me and my sister, since she could cry out loud and she had her friends and teachers, and I didn't have no one (my mom didn't send me to kindergarten, and everyone thought I was too young to understand what happened).
      After my parents got divorced, my mom asked me to take care of the family - remember that I was a 7-year-old, but because my mom was always malfunctioning and absent, I soon learned to cook food and take care of myself around 5 or 6, and she asked me if it was ok to leave me alone and take care of myself - it was until I became an adult that I realized how inappropriate that question is. A side note is that my mother is very manipulative - both she and my father have narcissistic personality. But at that moment as a 7-year-old kid, and when your mother told you that she had no other choice but to leave you alone, the only answer you could have was yes. My sister was 13 years old back then, and she became very spoiled - she was always the one got more attention from my mother. As aforementioned, my mom runs a private tutoring center, she needs someone for her to promote her business. At that time the only person she could use is my sister, but she's not that smart. So my mom decided that my sister should use her every minute on studying, and she has to work, so that the only person who could take care of the family was me, even though I was only 7.

  • @LForbesDeWild
    @LForbesDeWild 3 ปีที่แล้ว +146

    So what happens when a young kid grew up depressed & nothing was ever done about it?
    I grew up depressed. Beginning as a young child (but being very quiet & compliant, always doing what I was told, but also crying very easily anytime I was teased or something didn't go my way), going into my teens (still playing by the rules most of the time but starting to get angry, yet still depressed) & becoming an adult (usually angry, still depressed, my parents never figured me out but my mom loved to say "the world doesn't revolve around YOU!" but I honestly thought my requests for whatever it was were reasonable).
    My depression grew & grew, unchecked, while any healthy boundaries I tried to establish were continuously ignored. I never mattered to anyone else, my parents were screwed up but now they're dead, & I'm freaking 58 with multiple mental & physical health problems. My few attempts at therapy & meds didn't work. I suppose it was too little, too late. So what now?

    • @karararar
      @karararar 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Have you tried inner child work? Homecoming by John Bradshaw is a good book for that.

    • @keepthefaith6171
      @keepthefaith6171 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I dont know If those will work for you since I dont know you.But Im just gonna share things that has worked for me in case it might work for you too.
      1-When you start to have this awful sudden feeling that depression gives you when you’re alone at home,dont stay at home.Go take a walk in the nature,ride a bike etc.Just take some fresh air.
      2-Find a hobby.For me it was playing piano and drawing.Its never too late for a hobby.Find one and stick to it even if your depression makes you think you suck at it.Dont listen to it and continue.
      3-Dont avoid people.Sometimes depression just makes you wanna stay at home and stay away from social interactions.As someone who also has social anxiety I suffered from this a lot.But when I stopped avoiding people and had social interactions,I met a friend who has helped me with my depression.Not everyone is a bad person give people a chance.
      4-Help people or animals.Of course Its a choice I dont force you to anything.But one of the ways to feel good is to do good.You dont have to donate thousands of dollars to help someone in need.I started by feeding street animals and then I adopted a cat from a shelter.And my country suffered from forest fires and I did some help.It really is a great feeling.
      5-Eat healthy.Stop eating foods that makes you feel bad after like fast food.Plus stop eating more or less than your body needs.This one was hard for me because my depression caused me to eat a lot but once I got the control I felt healtier,happier and stronger.
      6-Sports.If you have deppression anyhting is better for your mental health than staying at home and doing nothing.But sports are also great for your physical help.It doesnt matter what kind of sport it is.Just keep your body active.
      7-Talk to your friends.I dont know about your friends and I know Its a hard topic to talk about especially If you have an abusive past.But this one definetly works.Sometimes we just need someone who listens.
      8-If none of this works get proffesional help.Try therapy again.The fact that you’ve come this far shows how strong you are.You matter to me.I wish you the best and I hope these will work for you.

    • @susanjohnston8973
      @susanjohnston8973 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I understand. I got, “ How can you be unhappy when you have so much to be thankful for?” Cue the guilt on top of depression. I just turned 60 and am still trying to find peace and balance in my life.

    • @ColorMeHoppy
      @ColorMeHoppy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Damn I'm a younger version of you

    • @akas.5458
      @akas.5458 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Living is suffering and no one can run from it. It will always stay. We just have to choose who to suffer for so that they suffer less. Also paint 1 big painting on canvas and pour whatever you feel into it. It doesn't matter if you are good or bad. Just paint it in such a way that you are transferring your feelings onto it. You will feel relaxed.

  • @sarawawa8984
    @sarawawa8984 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    I had anxiety growing up for sure. It seems so obvious now. Constant stomachaches and canker sores. Calling home from school because I felt sick or couldn’t eat. Tired a lot. I’d often lay down for a nap after school and then sleep through dinner and until the next morning. I was always a very tearful child, so quick to cry. Incredibly shy. Hated new things or changes.
    It of course seems so obvious now.

  • @Romanlegion1990
    @Romanlegion1990 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I suffered depression dating back to about seven years old. I always knew it was there but didn’t understand. When I was seventeenth my high school made my parents send me to a psychiatrist because I was sleeping in class. My mother took me to the psychiatrist and when it came time for me to talk I was so overwhelmed that someone was willing to listen to me that I just broke out in tears. He looked at me and said “I’m not here to feel sorry for you” and he was a major prick after that. Shortly after that appointment I started using heroin and continued for about three years and then got off it. I am 31 now with a family and now the feelings are just numb, I’m happy when I’m with my family but not throughout life. I wish someone would have helped me when I was younger, so if you are reading this just remember that nothing is wrong with you, you just haven’t found your way yet.

  • @ambbie2710
    @ambbie2710 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    I had this but my mom was so busy with work she didn't notice, it is not her fault. We had a rough childhood with my father being a violent alcoholic. She was constantly beat and constantly working to keep us afloat so when we left I guess she thought it was over. I did everything you mentioned, landed up not finishing highschool and felt worse because of the feeling of failure but I am going back to finish at 28. I see things more clearly as an adult, praying anyone with kids that go through that have someone that notices or at least sees this and tells their parents to counsellors that you need to talk to someone. Please don't waste time, you are not alone and worth it ❤ It is not normal and you are not lazy, you are hurt.

  • @perrystalsisworldofbiology767
    @perrystalsisworldofbiology767 3 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    i've been depressed since I was shat out in 1970. There was never a moment, as a child, of tip-toeing through the Tulips (as such). When you lack love and caring from any adult during childhood it is almost impossible to recover. Anyway, have nice day folks.

    • @fuqoff8583
      @fuqoff8583 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I feel the same way. Also, love the word choice “shat out”.

    • @petermautner7052
      @petermautner7052 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Without parental guidance and that includes love , caring nurturing. The child will suffer . That is family alienation.

    • @ozymandiaspbs
      @ozymandiaspbs 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I learned that the way around that is to learn to love one's self the way the 'parent' did not.

    • @missterious711
      @missterious711 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "shat out" lmaooo 💀💀💀

    • @petermautner7052
      @petermautner7052 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Perry, I personally know your predicament. The pain last a lifetime. My brother was golden child . However he married a narc and his marriage was mediocre. Thx

  • @khaalis9385
    @khaalis9385 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Like my damn! Where has this therapist been my whole life? Being 65, I was diagnosed with Major Severe Depressive Disorder, Recurrent some 30 years ago. This
    Monster has been living under my bed since I was in my youth as a traumatized child of a chronic alcoholic single parent....

    • @Progress234
      @Progress234 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How are you feeling now?

    • @khaalis9385
      @khaalis9385 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Progress234 Actually doing quite well! Over the years I’ve learned the signs and symptoms. And when “the Monster under my bed wants to come out and play,” I contact someone in my support system to get the level of appropriate care that I need. Also I’ve learned to tell the difference between sadness and Depression. In closing, the biggest thing that has helped is music: especially the the whole catalog of an artist who goes by NF! REAL MUSIC
      Very therapeutic!

  • @PatrickJB410
    @PatrickJB410 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Then- I remember being 4 hearing my mom beg my stepfather not to beat her. I dealt with that for another 8 years before he put me in the hospital, and was finally put in jail.
    Now- diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, with C-PTSD diagnosis.
    I hate my life but my son makes it worth living. I try my hardest everyday to be the best parent I can be.

  • @historianKelly
    @historianKelly 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I was lucky in that both my maternal grandmother and my father had depression diagnoses before me. So when I began exhibiting signs of chronic depression and general anxiety at 7yo, my mother recognized it and met it head-on. Despite the local, rural medical community 50 years ago *not* recognizing the correct diagnosis, she took correct mental health action. Despite experiencing ups & downs in my mental health all my life, I feel that my mother's initial response to my condition set me on a very good path for coping with it. Parental knowledge is key to the success of a pediatric depression patient. I just caution mental health professionals to stop overlooking the role that *anxiety* also plays in feeding depression. I could write a book on my anxiety alone. It was my first symptom, and remains my greatest challenge, 50 years later, and I've had mental health "professionals" do nothing but belittle its affect on my mental and physical well-being. If anxiety continues to be underappreciated as a feeder condition for depression, mental health care will never completely understand how to treat patients effectively.

  • @monaebreak561
    @monaebreak561 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I had horrible depression and anxiety as a kid. I also felt kids were supposed to be happy 🥳, just look at all the bright colors in things designed for kids. Great video!

  • @samonielly
    @samonielly 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I had depression growing up, started at 13 and now with 18 my mom force me to go to therapy because of some extreme panic attacks and suicide attempts and I wish I would had gone sooner, but I am glad that my whole family now understands the importance of seeking professional help and supports me no matter what.

  • @sjalvdestruktiv
    @sjalvdestruktiv 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Was depressed from age 11 to my adulthood. Being depressed at that age is such an awful thing and scars remain all your life. Somewhere inside me I was wishing for some help but I felt misunderstood and left behind.
    This is deeply sad reading comments of people who grew up being depressed. That is a real thing that needs to be addressed. I wish people would be more careful about children/teenagers well being.

  • @lifecloud2
    @lifecloud2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Both of my parents suffered from depression and dealt with it in various ways. I was the child who came home from school and would sit in a rocking chair until it was dark just feeling hopeless. I was a sad child and I have photos of me at two years old just quiet and withdrawn and sad. I remember when I was around 10 years old my mother saying to me, "we're going to take you to a doctor who will help you feel better with this" (something like that) but this never happened. I found solace with my dolls and stuffed animals. I wasn't an only child and I played with my three siblings who were around my age, but this cloud was with me always. And, as you mention here, I threw temper tantrums from feelings of sheer frustration that were dealt with by throwing cold water on me. I had trouble sleeping from a very young age, but there was a period of time when I would sleep 16 hours a day on the weekends.
    When I was around 15, I began to think of suicide constantly. I would plan it out, think of the easiest way, etc., and all just to end what seemed to be the worthlessness of my own life. When I was around 18, I had my own car. It was a clunker and began to leak exhaust into the inside of the car. I suddenly realized that this would likely take me out of this world. So I drove to a nearby strip mall, ran the car in idle, rolled up all the windows, and waited as the inside filled with smoke. People walked past the car without paying any attention to me. I used this as reinforcement for my decision to exit this world.
    Looking back on this now, I feel sad for this pitiful attempt. The exhaust only succeeded in making me sick. Just another failure, I thought. After a terribly painful few years in my 20s, I had to have a total hysterectomy. This resulted in estrogen replacement patches for years afterwards and this helped the depression a great deal. But this didn't last. Various experiences from that point to my late 50s allowed me to deal with the depression, but I seemed to carry around a weeping child inside me that was always there. At that point though, a doctor prescribed Wellbutrin for me and it was like a miracle! For the first time in my life that weeping child was quiet and I suddenly just had music in my head all the time. This has been a lifesaver for me! I still get sad sometimes ... I get the blues at times ... but the horrible depression is now manageable.
    I often tell people that I "learned" depression from my parents but maybe it was more about some chemical difference from other children that was in play. Maybe both. And the way we learn to deal with the world when we're children is VERY difficult to alter as adults.

  • @RWNPOP
    @RWNPOP 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Was depressed since the age of 7. I'm currently 19.
    I have to agree with all the 6 signs mentioned.
    The worst thing is, I'm making myself even more depressed because I force myself to think that the reason I am depressed is stupid. It's mostly because of the boredom and the lack of anything to do. I didn't have access to many things in my childhood, barely had any friends and they lived far away.
    I probably have to thank my grandpa for making me still be here. I love him more than my entire family.

  • @petmom1967
    @petmom1967 3 ปีที่แล้ว +522

    I would expect girls and boys would present differently considering social expectations on each gender. Girls taught to keep things to themselves whereas boys were allowed to express anger. Gen X, anyway.

    • @attheranch873
      @attheranch873 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      It was the same in the 70’s.

    • @Indifferent12390
      @Indifferent12390 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Bingo. Born in the 90’s.

    • @TheJeremyKentBGross
      @TheJeremyKentBGross 3 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Allowed to express anger? What world did you grow up in? Men/boys being angry generally seems like it's not socially allowed in my experience. Or folks are framed as being the wrong and aggressive ones even if they have a legitimate reason to be angry.

    • @BlueHazyDreams
      @BlueHazyDreams 3 ปีที่แล้ว +121

      @@TheJeremyKentBGross Not "allowed," no, but the flip side is girls growing up even denying they feel anger, letting all their boundaries be crossed and trying to take up as little space as possible.

    • @mariafilip6731
      @mariafilip6731 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same what I grew with.

  • @rifatmir9353
    @rifatmir9353 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I didn't skip school. I just sat alone at school and slept as soon as I reached home or kept myself busy in books. I never liked to interact with my parents or siblings. I didn't hate them or anything but I just wanted to be alone. I was always considered a quiet and a good kid. I learnt to socialize, pretended to be cheerful, strong and normal and would become myself again at the end of the day. I just wanted to finish my studies and leave home and I finally started living on my own. The pretentious life I was living as a strong independent and cheerful girl just backfired two weeks ago when I no longer knew how to live life anymore. I am tired and I want to face myself. I stopped working, stopped pretending to be normal. I told everyone that I am hurting inside, I have anxiety issues and that all my energy has drained out. I am on medication for depression now and I don't know how long it is going to take.I don't blame my parents, they know nothing about depression. I wish world leaders did more to raise awareness about this.

    • @szehrar
      @szehrar 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thinking of you and hoping you are in a better place with your mental health ❤

  • @montserratrosalesandrade5022
    @montserratrosalesandrade5022 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    My parents were always proud that i had a "Really easy adolescence" i wasn't a rebel, i Always had The Best grades in school, i didn't went out every weekend, i never smoked, i never had a drop of alcohol, i never went to parties, never had boyfriend, i was the perfect Daughter to their and other parents eyes.
    Now i notice i was represed, i was si absorbed in not letting my parents down, i got used to hit myself every time i did something wrong, i cried every day and had insomnia, my father continously told me that he didn't quite understood why i have The friends i have because they are attractive, when i got into a severe depression and The school told them i needed profesional help they just ignored it, so, now i'm dealing with this by my own

  • @vm.a9294
    @vm.a9294 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'm glad Depression and other mental health disorders are being talked about more openly, it is slowly advancing to a place where people aren't being stigmatized anymore, which in turn makes people want to be transparent about their thoughts and feelings as opposed to wanting to hide and pretend. Also, it is great you are adressing depression in children, many don't think a child can grow up depressed or even being born in such condition, public awareness on these subjects plays a huge role. Thank you

  • @minajackson4634
    @minajackson4634 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I remembered 3 times in my life where I didn't want to be here anymore. And that was scary that I thought about those things before. I will say I am better now mentally than I was even 3 months ago, by talking on a lifeline. That lady on the phone really helped me 🥰. I am grateful for that.

  • @enriquevenegas9501
    @enriquevenegas9501 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Crazy to me that know matter how much I think that watching these videos gives me some sort of comfort to know that I am not alone in depression, still doesn’t help the fact that I feel like I’m suffering alone in silence and that I won’t ever feel like I can get real help that I deserve

    • @patriciawalker851
      @patriciawalker851 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Try some shroom,
      Shrooms, you see, are not just a bit of psychedelic fun, they can actually cure depression, anxiety, PTSD, and mental health issues in general are notoriously hard to treat, so why not try psychedelics and see if they worked?...they can help you If you don't mind,you can link up with my plug myco_logan1 on Instagram about how shrooms works on depression and anxiety.....
      .

    • @oliviajones5114
      @oliviajones5114 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi, try microdosing.
      I’ve microdosed mushrooms for about 3 years now and i have been worrying less. I’d recommend it for everyone, look up psilo_shrooms on Instagram.Their product helped me fight anxiety and depression. You can thank me later...

  • @Bananas.e
    @Bananas.e 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Love the energy he has in the beginning about how it was ‘back than’ & getting over the ego. Wish I could speak with this confidence towards my family

  • @midnightlilac4170
    @midnightlilac4170 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I grew up with a mom that when I opened up to, wouldn’t understand my feelings. I’m sure she means well, but now I understand that when I do open up to someone it’s like it all comes out at once, because the one person I wanted to listen just didn’t console or give me the love to help me through my feelings. I’m seeing professional help finally to work through what I’m continually feeling. There’s always help. ❤️

  • @ecrispolitm
    @ecrispolitm 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Some people learn how to hide, feelings. I did, my family even realize I was depressed and had anxiety, since I was 10, until 2020, I learned how to hide it, and they thought I just had bad temperament, just rude and like to be alone. My mom loves me, she always has, but she never saw any warnings from me, and I had a difficult childhood, I learned to do everything by my own, because they never knew how I was feeling. So Parents always reinforce that you care and you won't judge their feelings, you won't undermine their feelings

  • @allthingslexi6046
    @allthingslexi6046 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I have two younger cousins, 8 and 9, and I hope they don’t go through depression at this age. They’re very happy and hyper children and I hope nothing changes that but I will be looking out for these signs

  • @peterboyd7149
    @peterboyd7149 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    My Psychiatrist reckons my Depression started at about 14. I spent my teenage years protecting my Mum and sister from my violent alcoholic father. At 14 my father went to attack my Mum again I beat the crap out of him. My Mum sided with my Dad that messed with my head. I also had a school friend murdered. Out of fear of being like my dad I obsess about controlling my Angry.

    • @gheles
      @gheles 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      th-cam.com/video/-5RCmu-HuTg/w-d-xo.html,this is the jordan peterson 12 rules for life , as I've struggle too to control my anger,it was comforting what i learn from the video

    • @gillroygarlic3616
      @gillroygarlic3616 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      That would traumatize anybody. You’ve been betrayed by who were supposed to take care of you. Keep reading, and watching educative material to understand your grief better. Something will speak to you, then apply it to your life. You did not deserve that.

  • @chiramishuwu
    @chiramishuwu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    When I was still in school, I skipped classes a LOT until I got to the point of almost failing my grades not because of my scores are low BUT for my poor attendances. My homeroom teacher just mock me for being lazy, like saying "Oh so you decided to come today?" or "You will never become a successful person" and that really hurts me until now.
    10 years later I'm still depressed, started going to psychiatry around 4 years ago and still not doing good.

  • @nfvy8111
    @nfvy8111 3 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    These conversations are so important and nuanced. Thank you.

  • @smithieboy10
    @smithieboy10 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I was an anxious and depression teen but I had a terrible home, so I was essentially stuck with those ppl til I was 18. I hated going home, suffered from ulcers and stress. Leaving home was one of the most liberating things in my entire life

  • @thewatcher8368
    @thewatcher8368 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My parents were really liked that I was depressed were actually proud of it and boasted about it to others that they have a problem free kid..

  • @thekingsamar5781
    @thekingsamar5781 3 ปีที่แล้ว +118

    If i said to my parents that I'm depressed, they laugh at me. They don't give a shit of me.

    • @brigittemurphy879
      @brigittemurphy879 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@patriciawalker851 you are a dangerous person, trying to sell your drugs to kids and have them hooked and being worse off through addiction. Shame on you.

    • @mayapace6914
      @mayapace6914 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      My mom did too

    • @TheFlamingPiano
      @TheFlamingPiano 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      "iT's aLL iN tHe MiNd"
      "sToP bEiNg sO NeGaTivE"
      [more gaslighting]

    • @ARS-fn6px
      @ARS-fn6px 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Mine laughed too. Im 33 now burned out and depressed and now they are surprised and upset that I dont want anything to do with family. Best decision ever to distance myself from them for my peace of mind.

    • @ujjainimukherjee4328
      @ujjainimukherjee4328 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I can relate

  • @judithdooley6153
    @judithdooley6153 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    was told I had nothing to feel down about, that I should appreciate how good I had it and to get over it..

  • @cristinacastro3384
    @cristinacastro3384 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I lived with depression for many years of my life, I did not know that being angry, resentful is part of the depression. One event in my life, was the trigger for me to find Help.
    My first group was “ Parents in pain”.
    Many others followed. My church have those as part of their ministries. I began sessions with a counselor, later with other professionals in mental health. I thank the Lord for all of them. My treatment is going to be for life. But for a much better life.

    • @oliviajones5114
      @oliviajones5114 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi, try microdosing.
      I’ve microdosed mushrooms for about 3 years now and i have been worrying less. I’d recommend it for everyone, look up psilo_shrooms on Instagram.Their product helped me fight anxiety and depression. You can thank me later...

  • @hypers829
    @hypers829 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    So many sad, lonely and depressed people who go on for years without telling anyone and thinking something is wrong with them. Pretending they're ok to other people because they don't want to be called an attention seeker. It's heartbreaking. If people don't take you seriously when you tell them, keep in mind that you did the right thing by reaching out and they let you down.

  • @tamarapulley6291
    @tamarapulley6291 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I didn’t realize I needed the validation, but I’m glad I watched this video. Not only did I exhibit all 6 of those signs as a child, I still recognize some of them in myself today. Before going into therapy I used to think that I couldn’t have depression because I’ve always felt the way I felt and I couldn’t remember a time when I didn’t feel like way. And even as a teenager when I started questioning why I seemed to be struggling a lot more than my peers, my mother told me it’s just normal teenage hormones and it’ll go away as I get older.. it never did 🙃

  • @camillac.s.279
    @camillac.s.279 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    I had every kind of problem while growing up . I didn't eat from 2 years old , frequently fainting , I never felt good in the morning , my mother is a psycopath and my father totally neglect my needs and I spent all my life running away from them . I am 38 and had a nightmare-long-life even if made huge effort to take care of me and love myself in any level i was not loved before .

    • @dapperglu
      @dapperglu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Dude... I just want to give you a consenting hug.

    • @camillac.s.279
      @camillac.s.279 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@dapperglu 🙏thank you. Gives me hope that future parents will be different , because when I was little I could not figure out and believe it was all my fault .

  • @moniquehuchet3646
    @moniquehuchet3646 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I was trying to will myself out of my body, didn’t want to live my life, watching it from the outside, isolating, re-entering life by playing at being alive… and I was 8

  • @modipadikekana5919
    @modipadikekana5919 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I never really had no voice growing up which would always trigger me and I would cry for days.

  • @davidscribner1841
    @davidscribner1841 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    It’s weird to suddenly realize “oh, so I’ve been depressed since childhood, that makes so much sense”

  • @_kellymarianne_
    @_kellymarianne_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Even worse when "family" doesn't care at all, or even say "it's just pretending", or "you'are just lazy and rebel"... Been there with my mom, and just now, 31 years old I'm beggining to heal from the pain of not being help or seen by the person that should love me.

  • @elennevdogtraining3241
    @elennevdogtraining3241 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I had those symptoms when I was in high school, I didn't know what was happening to me and nobody did anything to help me, and the issue carried on to adulthood, but now as an adult I did seek help myself and I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety. Luckily I've worked very hard on myself and I've been able to get out of the hole, as I call it.

  • @jacquipotgieter5821
    @jacquipotgieter5821 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I could see when my son was a baby he had anxiety badly. At 7 he wanted to kill himself. I begged the psych to put him on meds. She did. He is 13 and doing so well. He is still on meds. He has High Functioning Autism. Meds saved his life.

  • @Chaimelo
    @Chaimelo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I think it's important to note that while sleep habits and fatigue are a sign, issues with them also result from school systems forcing kids to wake up at abysmally early hours just to sit in a classroom. It doesn't help the issue but also makes it harder to identify. It's easy to just say "they're tired because they wake up early and they don't want to do that"

  • @papascrumpeeh
    @papascrumpeeh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It's there and never leaves along with it's anxiety and pain

  • @NaBi_1307
    @NaBi_1307 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Such things need to be talked about more in schools. Mental health is as important as physical health.

  • @huffhuff4604
    @huffhuff4604 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The issue alot of us are having now that we have escaped our parents is that depression became a part of us. So as we figure out that there is more to life it seems like a change in behavior because we are creating our own happiness. So a small catch 22 but your spouse or significant other should understand your trauma and allow you to grow/change yourself. Either way, this was helpful. 10/10

  • @jiggymacable
    @jiggymacable 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I would personally love general advice on how to overcome an entire childhood, and even some early adulthood, of ignorance in this knowledge. Having known little most of my life and trying to learn as much as possible as a make up attempt is an entirely different struggle. Letting go of what was missed while simultaneously chasing it because its needed to grow still... its complicated at the least.

  • @rachaelrogers2104
    @rachaelrogers2104 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Perfect video Kyle you're bringing the relevancy on a topic thats basically difficult to really examine at any depth but its so helping me to keep reaching and struggling for closure and healing. Thank you so much!

    • @MedCircle
      @MedCircle  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you, we're so glad this helped 💙

  • @BlueHazyDreams
    @BlueHazyDreams 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for this. I was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder when I was 8 and I feel like that could have easily been a dangerous misdiagnosis or at least oversight of co-occuring disorders because I was already depressed and didn't end up getting help for depression for another 4-5 years. Then I was hospitalized with suicidal ideation and diagnosed with bipolar. It frustrates me that my parents were more focused on the idea that I was just defying them to defy them, not that there might be valid and addressable underlying mental health struggles to account for that. Children aren't just extensions of yourselves, they are human beings with their own feelings, thoughts, desires, and pains. Now I get to reparent myself in my 20s and attempt to repair the damage to my self-esteem on top of the pre-existing mental health issues when I'm supposed to be a functional adult by now climbing the career ladder and settling down or whatever.

  • @Lozard22
    @Lozard22 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This just makes me sad, coming to terms with the fact ive been depressed my whole life

  • @allthefandoms92
    @allthefandoms92 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    As others have said, I was didn't act out, everything was inward.
    I "escaped" my issues by reading.
    When I did become depressed, I was a very serious, jaded and distant teen. I couldn't make friends so I stopped trying, I was dead-pan sarcasm all the time to my peers. But I was always obedient

  • @tribalmuseum6490
    @tribalmuseum6490 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I think I have been depressed since I was 4... Right after my parents split.. Ive battled depression and anxiety my entire life... 42 yeare

    • @patriciawalker851
      @patriciawalker851 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Try some shroom,
      Shrooms, you see, are not just a bit of psychedelic fun, they can actually cure depression, anxiety, PTSD, and mental health issues in general are notoriously hard to treat, so why not try psychedelics and see if they worked?...they can help you If you don't mind,you can link up with my plug myco_logan1 on Instagram about how shrooms works on depression and anxiety..

    • @oliviajones5114
      @oliviajones5114 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi, try microdosing.
      I’ve microdosed mushrooms for about 3 years now and i have been worrying less. I’d recommend it for everyone, look up psilo_shrooms on Instagram.Their product helped me fight anxiety and depression. You can thank me later...

  • @thereal4113
    @thereal4113 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    When my youngest son was 5 years old he asked me "mom, if you could be any color what would you be?" I thought for a few moments. I told him I would be green or brown because those are the colors of the earth. I asked my son, " what color would you be?"
    He immediately answered " clear, because then I would be invisible and no one would see me"
    I wish I could rewind to that time.
    I now realized my sweet empathic son was bullied by his siblings, he was bullied on the school bus and at school and neglected by his NARCISSIST father. His dad refused to get him mental health counseling, but eventually conceded. My son started with a counselor and eventually saw a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with MDD ( Major depressive disorder) He estranged himself from me a year ago for reasons I do not know. All I can do is pray that he someday lives a life of well deserved joy.

    • @sweetmelodies2545
      @sweetmelodies2545 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks mom

    • @sweetmelodies2545
      @sweetmelodies2545 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The thing is he aint ready to forgive but give him time,i going through this as someone's son,but praying and hoping well things will be better

    • @thereal4113
      @thereal4113 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sweetmelodies2545 thank you for your positive response. I appreciate it.

  • @dustinsmith8074
    @dustinsmith8074 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I wish this is the kind of thing that got 500 million views. Thank you guys for having these conversations. It is so sad and scary that people don't even realize this I a problem. These feelings aren't "the way life is" people like you guys having these discussions and being a voice will literally change peoples lives. Thank you.

  • @moriamo6591
    @moriamo6591 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Having been an extremely depressed kid growing up, a lot of this perfectly describes what I was like. It's nice to hear there wasn't something horrible wrong with me

  • @sharoneicher4131
    @sharoneicher4131 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    There’s another aspect: my child deals with depression. My child is an only child. People “”explained”
    behaviors with “only child syndrome “. This is even true of our former pediatrician. It’s absolutely infuriating.

  • @traceyminx2504
    @traceyminx2504 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Depression really sucks!!! I had it through my childhood its only as i grew up it hit me hard... Too right ur motivation goes. Even getin a shower is hard on rough bad low days 👋

    • @patriciawalker851
      @patriciawalker851 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Try some shroom,
      Shrooms, you see, are not just a bit of psychedelic fun, they can actually cure depression, anxiety, PTSD, and mental health issues in general are notoriously hard to treat, so why not try psychedelics and see if they worked?...they can help you If you don't mind,you can link up with my plug myco_logan1 on Instagram about how shrooms works on depression and anxiety..

    • @traceyminx2504
      @traceyminx2504 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@patriciawalker851 wow u named all my disorders i have bpd too. But im over ptsd i had that 11yrs ago when i found someone i knew dead hung himself i didn realise i had it until my days wer gettin worse i ended on a psych ward. Neva heard of shrooms. Aint they mushrooms or sumin alike?? They mayb poisonous ?? If i had anything to help instead of pills every day id sure think wbout it an look stuff up. Tysm!!

    • @patriciawalker851
      @patriciawalker851 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@traceyminx2504 no..they are not poisonous

    • @patriciawalker851
      @patriciawalker851 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@traceyminx2504 link up myco_logan1 on IG for more on shrooms, and it's benefits

    • @traceyminx2504
      @traceyminx2504 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@patriciawalker851 u told me to take them.lol

  • @PookieNarc119
    @PookieNarc119 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I didn't realised I was going through depression since 2 years. Those years were hell, it's like I wasn't the same person I used to be. Then I learned about psychology, and I got to know about this problem and I seek help just 2 months and trust me, I never felt this better, I used to feel like this before those years. My whole personality changed now. I wonder how many people are going through the same shit without knowing what it is

  • @jannagleechavez1043
    @jannagleechavez1043 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hope I wasn't the only one who had a tear drop (turn to silent crying) while watching this. It just gets so hard sometimes, you feel alone and it gets too dark.

  • @axwhiameh
    @axwhiameh 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    As a teen who's been depressed for most of my life it's really nice to learn about depression because it helps me understand why i acted the way i did as a little kid. It really helps me understand that i was just misunderstood and didn't mean to hurt anyone

  • @blackhagalaz
    @blackhagalaz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The earliest memory of being depressed I recall from around 5 years old. It was new years eve and my mother gave us kids glow sticks. The ones you need to bend to make the chemicals work. She told us not to break it because the fluid inside is toxic. And we'll suddenly I started to get philosophical about my existence. Because toxic, in my mind automatically translated to death for some reason. At the time I believed every human could become a hundred years old. And I was suddenly sad that I only had so "little" of my life left and that I was "already" 5. Of course I couldn't possibly know how short 5 years are in comparison to a whole lifetime. But yeah there I stood, a 5 year old with a glows tick, crying about my own mortality

  • @cecesalas6216
    @cecesalas6216 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    This video should be titled Signs of Adolescent Depression.

  • @Studypharmaa
    @Studypharmaa 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    People should speak freely about mental health just like how we would about any physical injuries ,that way topics like depression won't be a taboo.

  • @TheOneWayDown
    @TheOneWayDown 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I had never realized how depressed I was as a kid until I started medicating my anxiety. The panic was gone, but the dread of the future, lack of motivation, and the doubt were still there and I realized that it's how I've felt for as long as I could remember