He's describing a Dismissive Avoidant and they just aren't worth the stress. If you have to play these games to get his attention, you will always have to play these games and that's exhausting and a waste of time. Find an emotionally available and mature man who's ready to love you fully. Seriously, ladies.
Exactly. I know these types. All these rules and games get you nowhere. If a man is really into you, he naturally will want to spend all of his free time with you. You having boundaries (and liking him too) isn’t about strategically making yourself unavailable (games). It’s about accepting the balance in life. Like my parents would say "You don’t want to wear out your welcome." You can do this by being too available (balance). And the only thing absence does is give you clarity on whether you like the individual or not. If you like them, then their absence increases your longing and desire for them. If you aren’t feeling them like that, their absence only confirms this for you (and life will go on as usual).
We dont contact the men we like a lot because we are worried they will forget us... we do it because we are falling in love with them, so the contact with them feels really good to us, and so we want more and more of it. Women are simple... we like to feel good, we like to look good, and we like to have fun. We fall in love with men who make us feel good, who make us feel beautiful, and who we have a lot of fun around.
Yep. I don't understand why they think we are complicated? Not at all. We don't usually fall in and out of love. If we love you? We love you. Unless you push us.
Sisters, Just don’t deal with these fearful & dismissive avoidants. Problem solved. Attract a secure man instead :))) AVOIDANTS will only make you ugly & sick due to stress😂😂
100%! I am getting my looks back after getting away from that toxic man. I was in shape with clear skin and shiny hair before we met. I had just flown in from Hawaii living my best life when we hooked up thinking this was gonna be a forever relationship. Now I’m spraying rosemary water on my scalp trying to get it to not fall out because of all the stress, it’s working. Taking apple cider vinegar with distilled water to fix my skin. Working out adding protein to my diet to get my body back after losing too much weight. Eww to all my mistakes. Yess to my opened eyes. Oh yeah I found out he likes to have threesomes with men, that set me straight!!!!
I broke up with him. He was extremely appreciative of me when I left. He was very heartfelt. Godspeed. I’m 5-6 months no contact and feeling like myself again. Happy to have left a huge void in his life.
I had the most angering frustrating experience with a dismissive avoidant no matter what I did absolutely nothing worked. Two years later he still chases me now and again but his behaviour won't ever change..I'm glad I managed to break free and feel nothing now
I detached from this person after knowing him for only a few months. No game playing. I was seeious. He still tries to get me to see him again. Telling me i just dropped him, and that I am something else. I have no energy for games and immature entities. There is no going back or second chance. If you did not show up correctly the first time, you won't show up correctly any other time.
@zuzannamakowiecka6666 I pretended like he wasn't there. I only cooked and cleaned for myself, when I felt like going out, I went to dinner or breakfast without him. I have a lot of hobbies, so my mind stayed busy all the time: watering the plants, working out, planting my fall balcony garden, practicing self care/skin care. When he saw that I didn't really need him, he said he was sorry and that he didn't want to leave. Then he asked how he could make the relationship better. It's important not to cry or overreact in the midst of problems or conflict. I think my lack of reaction played a big part in all this.
Im a fearful avoidant woman. Dismissive avoidant men bring out my clingy anxious side while at the same time being terrified to keep trying. The lesson is... No avoidant men
Sounds totally exhausting. If a person a male or female really only like you when they miss you - then there is something missing in their emotional functions - not really healthy for play, trust and connection - unless you really like self punishment and games - then not worth it.
@ what a stupid question😂 I’m here simply bc I can be for one. And two it’s directed to use against men… so unless you’re a lesbian this video is clearly free knowledge for anyone who deals with MEN sweetheart.. but some of y’all lack the skill of comprehension💀.
I think there's something to this. With my family, I "WAS" always around, ready to help them with whatever. They started to get "crabby" and tried to throw all teh stuff they didn't want to do unto me. And then I would get yelled at. I was like okay, the kids are older now step back. Now, they notice all the stuff I DID for them because I"M not there. Weird. I will now get a call "I miss you" while I'm out somewhere else. So when I did all this stuff they didn't notice. But now that I"m not there, they notice. But yes, be careful with this because there's other people out there who could take your place. But the new strategy is, Set boundaries, be there when you want, NOT when they want. This has become a powerful tool I wish I would have learned LONG AGO.
SO AMAZING....I am thinking about becoming a lone wolf again...BUT you are awesome in giving me understanding of a completely out of nowhere "almost" connection...who is "madly in love" with me.."obsessed"..."will aways want" me ... I did not know whether to laugh or cry...I did both...and am tired of crying....Thanks I at least am starting to "get" it.
I actually think all of this about absence is so cool and it's an advantage. I don't want to feel pressured to be perfect while I'm with him or beg him to look at me and breadcrumb me. I just want to be myself and live my life, enjoying my solitude with stuff I love. If it makes him like/love me more, well, that's a win. I don't really wanna try hard. :)
Quality time is my love language but you’re saying to spend less time with a man. So for him to feel more love for me I have to sacrifice feeling loved. What? How does that make sense? How is that fair?
@@danilaroche1156 I said nothing about being married or unable to keep a man on his toes. I dont think you understood my question and it wasnt directed at you anyway. 🙃
Exactly! All these strategies apart from the hypocrisy, they will take someone nowhere. Even if you become the fantasy or anything else how can you really enjoy a real connection or a healthy relationship? Strategies like this are only to boost people's ego temporarily and have nothing to do with real meaningful connections or generally happiness and sense of fulfillment
One person cannot meet all our needs . Maybe find many ways to fill your “emotional cup” :) if your spouse was sick or unavailable you would need to be able to cope anyway :) idk good luck
I know, right! I’m so tired of all this😂 I mean, I love his channel, but at the end of the day, it’s like just be you whoever is for you is for you I’ve seen some of the ugliest and the worst people find their person!
Why are you here watching his channel then?! 😂 This man is right, I’m a magnet with all his tips. So speak for yourself and go watch a female channel because trust me only a man can explain how men operate smh
Its not a mind game, personally myself as a lady if i happen to date a guy and suddenly he's not giving me my space i get bored easily, I'd prefer he keeps himself busy out there and not suffocate my space...I have my life to live so as he..
Toxic and codependent men become dopamine dependent on you and as many others as possible. There. Fixed the title. Love starts inside of you. Keep listening to these toxic folks or schedule therapy. Only one inevitable outcome.
He’s basically describing a “create value through scarcity.” sorta speak. For example, for those aware of the Guernsey Milk. It provides the same nutrients as the leading brand but since they only produce 5 gallons a day (less than their competitors) it cost more. Hope this helps! 😊
I'm learning that im wired like a guy in this arena..but I am definitely a woman...good to know.😅 maybe it's why I attract such feminine and emotionally clingy and unstable men...dangit
The saying" never chase a man! Is 💯 accurate! Don't do it! And dont ve always available either. If they tell you ih you are my peace! Dump him he is just passing time with you! End of story💯💥🤘
Who would want to do all these mental gymnastics for a fricking man? One should be focused on actually having a good life, not male-centred. Then these “tactics” will come naturally. Why not just be ourselves and attract a healthy, secure man who you get along with as your authentic self? Why play so many games?
So that is why in all the Hallmark and Rom Com movies a girl has to be on her way out of town for man to run after her. So make him turn into a darn athlete. I got it.
My 30 year old was smashing & getting drunk all the time. He had a complete nervous breakdown. Deep depression. Then he got inoperable brain cancer! Smashing is sin. Its fornication & Satan WILL attack. Pray for him.
I knew a school teacher who all suddenly had mental problems, and years later, they found out the reasons why was that she had a tumor in her brain, which was actually causing her behaviors. Once the tumor was removed she was fine
Your channel is so entertaining haha ..I don't agree with everything because it sounds like we are talking about boys here rather than mature men with good intentions.. however your descriptions are hilarious
Ifs actually easier and more logical to be urself smf if thr guy starts retreating and ghosting then cut him off I dont need to spend evrtyday with a guy expdcring a decent ount of effort in early stages based on interest and respect not too much to ask for If a guy is not constent then cut him off the guy thats truely ready anf intersted will be consistent cos he wants to not cos of games
All of this stuff applies to unhealed men and women. I highly recommend we all take responsibility for our personal healing and then we will naturally attract healed people
this is too much because one size doesnt fit all with men. i feel like if a women has to play all these games to keep a man more than likely the relationship will be toxic because its too many games and manipulation tactics involved. anything rooted in that is not the basis for healthy love.
You can’t worry about that because honestly all types of women are everywhere, whether you are together or not. Your only power is understanding that no one is you. No one can recreate the energy you carry. When you fully own and embody your unique energy and honor it you become a Top Tier woman who doesn’t shrink in the presence of other women. There is no “better” than Top Tier…and if a man mistreats you who is Top Tier, why would you think that he would treat the next Top Tier women better? He won’t…he is the problem so who cares if he finds “better”…he’ll sabotage that too cause he’s a trashcan of man.
He's describing a Dismissive Avoidant and they just aren't worth the stress. If you have to play these games to get his attention, you will always have to play these games and that's exhausting and a waste of time. Find an emotionally available and mature man who's ready to love you fully. Seriously, ladies.
THIS IS IT. 💯💯💯💯💯💯
Basically find yourself a unicorn ladies
Exactly. I know these types. All these rules and games get you nowhere. If a man is really into you, he naturally will want to spend all of his free time with you. You having boundaries (and liking him too) isn’t about strategically making yourself unavailable (games). It’s about accepting the balance in life. Like my parents would say "You don’t want to wear out your welcome." You can do this by being too available (balance). And the only thing absence does is give you clarity on whether you like the individual or not. If you like them, then their absence increases your longing and desire for them. If you aren’t feeling them like that, their absence only confirms this for you (and life will go on as usual).
If you’re attracted to avoidants and narcissists, the key is to address your own codependency.
Exactly. This crap is exhausting!
We dont contact the men we like a lot because we are worried they will forget us... we do it because we are falling in love with them, so the contact with them feels really good to us, and so we want more and more of it. Women are simple... we like to feel good, we like to look good, and we like to have fun. We fall in love with men who make us feel good, who make us feel beautiful, and who we have a lot of fun around.
Yes but that’s not how you get them to stay addicted
Yep. I don't understand why they think we are complicated? Not at all. We don't usually fall in and out of love. If we love you? We love you. Unless you push us.
Sisters, Just don’t deal with these fearful & dismissive avoidants. Problem solved. Attract a secure man instead :)))
AVOIDANTS will only make you ugly & sick due to stress😂😂
I Agree...
Yes I fell sick
That part! You're going to stop sleeping, start stressing, losing your hair. Crying and worrying and creating wrinkles. Don't do it!
100%! I am getting my looks back after getting away from that toxic man. I was in shape with clear skin and shiny hair before we met. I had just flown in from Hawaii living my best life when we hooked up thinking this was gonna be a forever relationship. Now I’m spraying rosemary water on my scalp trying to get it to not fall out because of all the stress, it’s working. Taking apple cider vinegar with distilled water to fix my skin. Working out adding protein to my diet to get my body back after losing too much weight. Eww to all my mistakes. Yess to my opened eyes. Oh yeah I found out he likes to have threesomes with men, that set me straight!!!!
So true. ❤. And avoid narcs at all costs
I broke up with him. He was extremely appreciative of me when I left. He was very heartfelt. Godspeed. I’m 5-6 months no contact and feeling like myself again. Happy to have left a huge void in his life.
I had the most angering frustrating experience with a dismissive avoidant no matter what I did absolutely nothing worked. Two years later he still chases me now and again but his behaviour won't ever change..I'm glad I managed to break free and feel nothing now
Sounds like you're both playing out something maybe ❤
THIS MAN IS DOING THE LORDS WORK‼️🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
I detached from this person after knowing him for only a few months. No game playing. I was seeious. He still tries to get me to see him again. Telling me i just dropped him, and that I am something else. I have no energy for games and immature entities. There is no going back or second chance. If you did not show up correctly the first time, you won't show up correctly any other time.
Let me just say that this man SAVED MY MARRIAGE. Apply what he teaches!! Thanks Tomisin ❤️
How did you create absence living together?
@zuzannamakowiecka6666 I pretended like he wasn't there. I only cooked and cleaned for myself, when I felt like going out, I went to dinner or breakfast without him. I have a lot of hobbies, so my mind stayed busy all the time: watering the plants, working out, planting my fall balcony garden, practicing self care/skin care. When he saw that I didn't really need him, he said he was sorry and that he didn't want to leave. Then he asked how he could make the relationship better. It's important not to cry or overreact in the midst of problems or conflict. I think my lack of reaction played a big part in all this.
@@kristalc.2809good job!
@@zuzannamakowiecka6666he's saying be you make yourself a priority ❤
Men are exhausting 😂
This channel has been a game changer for me! No lie!
Same!!
He is doing THE LAWDS WORK you hear me!!!!!❤️
@ lol loud and clear sis🙌🏾
@@TheeCynic 🤣🤣🤣🙌🏾
Im a fearful avoidant woman. Dismissive avoidant men bring out my clingy anxious side while at the same time being terrified to keep trying. The lesson is... No avoidant men
Not just MEN it works on everyone, Friends, Family, and Relationships
Stop chasing and getting men. They are not the prize. You are.
Correct!
Congratulations you convinced me! I decided 4 days ago😊 to cut off my feelings and withdraw emotionally what a nice surprise he will have soon
That awkward feeling when you strategically pull away and he literally dgaf 😂 Womp-womp
Then you have your answer and can move on
It happened to me and I didn’t feel awkward.
I feel a twinge of heartburn at best, but I know where I stand.
@@cateyes2103 exactly.
As Tomisin says; “only men who are pursuers will have access to you” !!! 💖💖💖
It may be not enough time has passed.. sometimes it takes months but in that case forget about him
Sounds totally exhausting. If a person a male or female really only like you when they miss you - then there is something missing in their emotional functions - not really healthy for play, trust and connection - unless you really like self punishment and games - then not worth it.
Y’all literally mad in the comments complaining when YOU clicked on the video.. now check that.
If I'm not mistaken, he's speaking to women, right?!!🧐 Why are you here,?? 😂
@ what a stupid question😂 I’m here simply bc I can be for one. And two it’s directed to use against men… so unless you’re a lesbian this video is clearly free knowledge for anyone who deals with MEN sweetheart.. but some of y’all lack the skill of comprehension💀.
Just here for the drawings! 🍿
The drawings ARE awesome.❤
😂😂😂
😝Looking for this comment!!!
This is just a recipe of how to trap a toxic emotionally immature man with a Peterpan syndrome.
I think there's something to this. With my family, I "WAS" always around, ready to help them with whatever. They started to get "crabby" and tried to throw all teh stuff they didn't want to do unto me. And then I would get yelled at. I was like okay, the kids are older now step back. Now, they notice all the stuff I DID for them because I"M not there. Weird. I will now get a call "I miss you" while I'm out somewhere else. So when I did all this stuff they didn't notice. But now that I"m not there, they notice. But yes, be careful with this because there's other people out there who could take your place. But the new strategy is, Set boundaries, be there when you want, NOT when they want. This has become a powerful tool I wish I would have learned LONG AGO.
SO AMAZING....I am thinking about becoming a lone wolf again...BUT you are awesome in giving me understanding of a completely out of nowhere "almost" connection...who is "madly in love" with me.."obsessed"..."will aways want" me ...
I did not know whether to laugh or cry...I did both...and am tired of crying....Thanks
I at least am starting to "get" it.
I actually think all of this about absence is so cool and it's an advantage. I don't want to feel pressured to be perfect while I'm with him or beg him to look at me and breadcrumb me. I just want to be myself and live my life, enjoying my solitude with stuff I love. If it makes him like/love me more, well, that's a win. I don't really wanna try hard. :)
Quality time is my love language but you’re saying to spend less time with a man. So for him to feel more love for me I have to sacrifice feeling loved. What? How does that make sense? How is that fair?
Your not getting it. Even if your MARRIED you STILL have to keep him on his toes. Don't be naive, dear.
@@danilaroche1156 I said nothing about being married or unable to keep a man on his toes. I dont think you understood my question and it wasnt directed at you anyway. 🙃
Exactly! All these strategies apart from the hypocrisy, they will take someone nowhere. Even if you become the fantasy or anything else how can you really enjoy a real connection or a healthy relationship? Strategies like this are only to boost people's ego temporarily and have nothing to do with real meaningful connections or generally happiness and sense of fulfillment
One person cannot meet all our needs . Maybe find many ways to fill your “emotional cup” :) if your spouse was sick or unavailable you would need to be able to cope anyway :) idk good luck
Blah blah blah men want this men want that.who wants a man especially a confused one.
Definitely sounds confused 😂😂😂
This is all so pointless. At what point do these games stop and you get to just simply enjoy being in a relationship? Or just date? SMH
I know, right! I’m so tired of all this😂 I mean, I love his channel, but at the end of the day, it’s like just be you whoever is for you is for you I’ve seen some of the ugliest and the worst people find their person!
My god all it’s saying to me be single or lesbian geesh 😂
@ 🤣😂🤣 Well, let it say that then
Why are you here watching his channel then?! 😂
This man is right, I’m a magnet with all his tips. So speak for yourself and go watch a female channel because trust me only a man can explain how men operate smh
Its not a mind game, personally myself as a lady if i happen to date a guy and suddenly he's not giving me my space i get bored easily, I'd prefer he keeps himself busy out there and not suffocate my space...I have my life to live so as he..
I rather just be alone. I have 0 en energy. Giving myself everything I want!
But then again the mimic parts get me every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Don’t fall for it ladies!!
Has anyone ever dated a guy that was just too nice but had a shadow side that he refused to acknowledge🧐🧐
My, is that girl in the sketch drawing “built different” ☺️
This makes a lot of sense
Toxic and codependent men become dopamine dependent on you and as many others as possible. There. Fixed the title. Love starts inside of you. Keep listening to these toxic folks or schedule therapy. Only one inevitable outcome.
He’s basically describing a “create value through scarcity.” sorta speak. For example, for those aware of the Guernsey Milk. It provides the same nutrients as the leading brand but since they only produce 5 gallons a day (less than their competitors) it cost more. Hope this helps! 😊
I'm learning that im wired like a guy in this arena..but I am definitely a woman...good to know.😅 maybe it's why I attract such feminine and emotionally clingy and unstable men...dangit
Great advice thanks 😊
Men think so differently lol! Awesome info
I looooovveee ur videos ❤️
The saying" never chase a man! Is 💯 accurate! Don't do it! And dont ve always available either. If they tell you ih you are my peace! Dump him he is just passing time with you! End of story💯💥🤘
I needed this. Thank you.
Absence makes the heart grow stronger. 🎉❤
if you're seeing this comment, it might be a sign to read 'Magnetic Aura' from Talesio ❤️
Bot
Go away bot. U r everywhere
Your cameroon follower here am taking notes o your on point
This is so on point
Thank you for the video and subtitles 🖖🏻
Who would want to do all these mental gymnastics for a fricking man? One should be focused on actually having a good life, not male-centred. Then these “tactics” will come naturally. Why not just be ourselves and attract a healthy, secure man who you get along with as your authentic self? Why play so many games?
Never be male centered. Have your life. Focus on God yet realize men ARE different. They just are!
@ y’all need therapy for high self esteem and self love tbh
So that is why in all the Hallmark and Rom Com movies a girl has to be on her way out of town for man to run after her. So make him turn into a darn athlete. I got it.
Yasssss baby…. You see the deep blue ocean in my deep brown eyes 😂
Guys are weird ☝🏽
We are ALL flawed.
THANK YOU.
My 30 year old was smashing & getting drunk all the time. He had a complete nervous breakdown. Deep depression. Then he got inoperable brain cancer! Smashing is sin. Its fornication & Satan WILL attack. Pray for him.
smashing? 😐 sex is not a sin shut up
Why did you call him “ my 30 year old “ lol. How old are u?
I knew a school teacher who all suddenly had mental problems, and years later, they found out the reasons why was that she had a tumor in her brain, which was actually causing her behaviors. Once the tumor was removed she was fine
I meant to say my 30 year old nephew.
Glad to hear but sleeping around is bad for you. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Hate to mention this Thompson but as a psychologist those drawings really mean something.
Your channel is so entertaining haha ..I don't agree with everything because it sounds like we are talking about boys here rather than mature men with good intentions.. however your descriptions are hilarious
You were pretty generous with how long you think we stay
"in pain"😂😂😂
You explain ir perfectly and also I must me a man
You’re an angel sent from God
This is some advanced sh*t Tomasin 🤣
My absence is permanent because I truly don't care. At all 😂
Ifs actually easier and more logical to be urself smf if thr guy starts retreating and ghosting then cut him off
I dont need to spend evrtyday with a guy expdcring a decent ount of effort in early stages based on interest and respect not too much to ask for
If a guy is not constent then cut him off the guy thats truely ready anf intersted will be consistent cos he wants to not cos of games
By cutting people off who are not consistent is cutting off time wasted and making space for a guy who's ready for a grownup relationship
All of this stuff applies to unhealed men and women. I highly recommend we all take responsibility for our personal healing and then we will naturally attract healed people
he knows it but he denies it to me to gain dominance. doesn't make sense i dont understand substance abuse and lack of will to thrive
What are your thoughts and analysis on the art of seduction by Robert Greene
Haha luv this guy 😂
this is too much because one size doesnt fit all with men. i feel like if a women has to play all these games to keep a man more than likely the relationship will be toxic because its too many games and manipulation tactics involved. anything rooted in that is not the basis for healthy love.
I wish I was lesbian.
😂😂😂😂😂
That's not a relationship, if you're gone .
It's called love bombing which means you throw your love life at a person at the start and it fizzles out over time.
But what if the guy finds a better girl during the breakup?
You can’t worry about that because honestly all types of women are everywhere, whether you are together or not. Your only power is understanding that no one is you. No one can recreate the energy you carry. When you fully own and embody your unique energy and honor it you become a Top Tier woman who doesn’t shrink in the presence of other women. There is no “better” than Top Tier…and if a man mistreats you who is Top Tier, why would you think that he would treat the next Top Tier women better? He won’t…he is the problem so who cares if he finds “better”…he’ll sabotage that too cause he’s a trashcan of man.
This is practice for marriage ladies. Men are just this confusing and frustrating. It's so aggravating.
Fodam-se os homens
I need your number for personal coach!
I want a mature man who is ready to love me fully. ❤
That's Not True
🚗🚙🏎️
Does this work on my exboyfriend who doesnt like me anymore and is looking for another woman?
No
No. Move on find someone that wants your presence.
Girly, just move on and give yourself all the love you deserve 🩷
Man's rejection is God's protection. Let the Lord heal your rejection issues.
Ihwar a lot of manipulation and game playing here.
Dont hound the guy but if they are avoiding you, pay attention to that
I must be a dude. Lol
U need to practice drawing people🤦🏻♀️
This channel is just continuing a perpetual cycle of trauma. You're not helping anyone.