2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer | Ep. 02
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ก.ค. 2019
- Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back for Episode 2 of 2 BEARS 1 CAVE! The two best friends get right into the stories, discussing Ralphie May, Jo Koy, Greg Giraldo and Jim Norton. Plus, Tom recaps all of his TheoGate trolling from the past few months. Who would be at the ultimate comedian slumber party? Bert's daughter is starting to drive, which is getting dicey, and everything wraps up in a strip club.
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I was yelling “BILL BURR” when they were trying to pick a camp counselor.
Bill Burr is literally that dad that screamed "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" at a bunch of 10 year olds, he would be perfect
Don Rickles
HeatherAlicia9109 this needs to be a comedy sketch now
Seinfeld
Haha he was the first to come to my mind too. Could u imagine?! Haha
Tom is like an emotionless psychopath and Bert is like his innocent little brother who will do anything he says. Name a better duo.
Stan laurel and Oliver hardy
My balls your chin
Rogan and joey diaz
Theo and Brendan
DEEZ NUTS!!!
Bert's relentless ability to think of random topics is astounding. "Whats one thing you'd change about me" *dosnt let him answer* "ever think about hair transplants" 😂 Tom cant keep up
I’ve seen every single episode and can confirm Bert has not biked once to the show
Hahaha
Ajjajajajjajajajjajajaja
But how many dough nuts he have lol?
Bert: “Me around the house is a nightmare”
Tom: “I could see that”
Yeah, and Bert is genuinely confused as to why his wife won't fuck him any more ...
...."and do so every night as I gaze somberly at Christina."
I'm so excited for another episode of Tom enabling Bert
Was thinking the same exact thing
And no Christina 😀
It's all part of Tom's master plan to destroy Bort's life, body, mind and ultimately flay his mortal soul!
💀💀💀💀
@Vino what do you believe Christina brings to the table? Just wondering because I particularly dont care for YMH podcast to begin with. Although I like bert, rogan, segura, callen, stanhope even shaub etc. In their own element, but the wife and husband podcast just doesnt work. Everyone knows that there is a different dynamic with relationships with people, which will/can change personalities etc.
I'm just gonna say it, a Tom and Bert podcast is the best podcast we didn't know we needed.
Its like a blessing in the skies 🤣🤣🤣
Your
@@dustingarn1768 Is that how you say it?
@@conordaly9993 what now?
Dustin Garn It’s “a blessing in disguise” lmaoooo
Bert's mind is like a freaking squirrel on cocaine. But it's on a long leash so he's never completely lost.
I literally was just thinking to myself I would love another episode of two bears one cave thanks mommy
Trust, I was going for a shit an saw it up on my feeds 😂
Same same , as a proud member of the cool guys club , we gotta keep them jeans high and tight
Deafbard Jenkins I really like that
I just wanna be raw i like that
Bert Kreischer "I know I'm telling this wrong, but I am telling this better"
That explains sooooo much.
Never let the truth get in the way of a good Yarn.
Definitely told it wrong and also did not tell it better 🤣
I love hearing the guy in the background burst out laughing all the time
its the chuckle fucks
It sounds exactly like Joe Rogen's laugh
@@Boondire YES! I was scrolling through the comments to see if I was crazy. It sounds spot on! Thank you! lol
Hes on every video I've seen so far and its hilarious!
@@Boondire then you don't know anything about rogan because nadav sounds nothing like joe
the guy laughing behind the camera? ... i love him. i don't know who he is, i don't care who he is.. i'm just looking foward for his laugh every joke.
Bunz: "I need more vices"
Bert: "I could pull back on a couple"
Lmfao
The lack of structure in this show makes it fun AF!
I would have to say just the opposite. The stupid beam of wood between and their struggle to face one another looks so uncomfortable and "structured" for no reason. The whole show comes across as as forced conversation, foolish.
Never get rid of the dude laughing in the background
I start laughing every time that guy starts laughing. That is the most genuine laugh.
doesn't it kind of sound like joe rogan?
Reminds me of Phil Giroux from The Tom Green Show
It's a Rogan byte. A producer is pushing a button. Not to ruin the magic.
@@nicky_hashtag4264 😂😂
"I got back from the Sober October podcast and I was high." -Burnt Christian.
"i do believe i will be skinny one day" -bert, 2019.
Bert's tombstone: "Here Lies Bert Kreischer, Still No Thinner."
I too have that delusion.. "next year for sure" I always say in my head... lol
He’ll be thinner when he’s diabetic
Live long enough and we all die skinny. If he manages to push on until his 80's, I could see Burnt getting skinny. :D
@@avaonline2499 Bert 1000 years later will still be no skinner than today.
The best part of this podcast is the producers laughing in the background. So good.
@@GenderSternchenInnen it is when it's part of your job description.
i was sober for the first half of this and pretty much laughed throughout.
Dustin i beg to differ
Aron Heathcock cool man
I think they got the idea from Desus and Mero
Tom: "I need more vices"
Bert: "I could cut a few"
🤣🤣🤣
Jake K I’m in the mind set where I think both these things on the same day
@@dustinkunish377 lw
the guy laughing in the back ground is gold, he provides the best laugh track.
Cal Thornley that’s the production booth
Anyone: " Hey Bert."
Bert: "OMG dude! Top ten people you've ever said hello to!"
Who's Bert?
@@Jeremycook_ HAHAHAHAHA! GOOD ONE!
😂
Half way through...where is the hot intern pouring the doubles?
*triples
@J R Beert won't let a lack of hot intern prevent him from slowly poisoning his liver and subsequently other organs.
@J R for real tho 😆 In all reality we don't want to lose him early just so we can watch him guzzle booze
Mrs Kreischer said " Cut the shit, or half. Try me. "
But is he really liveing if he's not morning drinking
This is my favorite pairing in podcast history. Keeping it at a quick hour is perfect. That last bit was what I'm here for. The way Tom is with Bert is hilarious. Let the enabling continue!
To whomever needs to see this: I earnestly hope the next time you reheat your leftovers in the microwave, it comes out perfectly the first try.
Jaydoggy531 this is the kind of love and positivity the world needs
Thank you
"Yeah I'm gonna be shredded pretty soon" LOL
This is probably the best podcast now. Hilarious. Why’d it take so long?!?
You should try MMPC, My Favorite Murder or YMH. Well YMH is hit or miss, depends if that fat serial killer looking guy talks less and let's the blonde lady shine.
History Hyenas and Tuesdays with Stories are better imho
@@merfymac I will give them a try. Thanks.
I watch YMH regularly. That’s great as well, I just love Berts lack of care. Chris DiStefano is hilarious and is going to be the next big comic I think, I like them a lot as well. Thanks so much for the recommendations tho!! Always appreciated.
Mmpc was my main favourite and I'm a huge Bill Burr fan but it's got a little repetitive. He goes over the same topics, talks alot about going without a drink, controlling his anger and he has mellowed with time (not a bad thing at all). When I listen to an old podcast Bill is raw and more funnier.
3:47 Love those hard core laughs in the background to Burt's jokes.
I was wondering who it was.
Tom and Bert should have to loose weight and Joe and Ari should have to Gain weight. If Bert and Tom loose more than ari and Joe gain then they win
Genius
That Jew has that Auschwitz gene he isn’t gaining weight
@@chadgrov lmfao
That’s a fucking great idea!
Tha'ts a great idea, maybe another year when it's been longer since the weight loss one.
This 100% needs to be weekly if not more, love it guys!
U need less time on your hands
Bert really is everything that made Homer Simpson great from season 1-10
(50th!)
OMG... you're right! 🤣🤣🤣
I want someone to look at me the way Tom Segura looks at Bert Kreischer
🤣🤣🤣
You want to be seen as fat and racist?
I see these two in 25-30 years going on tour together like Steve Martin and Martin Short, and being fucking amazing!
They should prioritize this over bertcast and ymh. Not that those 2 are bad or anything but this is actually gold
Yeah for sure. This is way better than an hour of poop jokes (your aunts house) and C level comedians talking about traveling (bertcast).
Dominic G your aunts house 😂😂😂
Hopefully the views show them this what people want and they up it to weekly
David Tolin There’s tons of hilarious female comedians who leave me dead... then there’s Christina... a total buzzkill and so fucking unfunny.
It feels like people are too afraid to say it because she’s Tom’s wife. 🙄
This needs tome to breathe, pumping these out to much will suck
Don't give into Joe's demands. Hip Hop Sober October. Everyone would be on an equal level. Keep it up Tim and Brad.
Keanu Reeves Gun Range challenge. Then Joe can't complain about judges.
Brett that would honestly be a really fun idea. Just have them train hardcore with guns for a month and see who would do the best on the course. I think Joe would still have an advantage, but way less of an advantage than the fitness stuff.
Yeah joe needs to not get his way and force it on others for once.
@@RussianDeathstroke rogan has a hudge advantage. He has a very martial mind which 100% translates to a gun course. Dancing hip hop or nothing.
Pittsburgh is actually a great city to run through.
“he ends the day with a cigar, a glass of wine and an edible” 😂
I love the laughter in the background 🤣🤣 it just adds to it all in the perfect way
FUCKIN SLAYER! Yes!!!
"We are doing a bit?"
"YEAH WE ARE DOING A BIT"
lmfaoooooooooooo
love to hear bert talk about how unhinged he is
@Zah Hall of course!
@J R Noooo sobriety sucks balls!
"We got into a fight over Turmeric"
"Did she not know about the r"
hahahah
🤣🤣
"They weren't bad enough to go to jail but they weren't good enough to go to summer school". Fine lines.
So we just skipping over that story of your friend kidnapping a girl?
Oh yea I forgot about that. What did he say? "Another kidnapping story?" so with Joey's, that makes two kidnapping stories?
Honestly, Tom needs to stop interrupting 🤦🏾♂️
like a smooth criminal
Bill Burr is the camp counselor who just yells at the campers while they harass him.
Billy Bitch-Tits would be awesome as the 3rd maniac in this 'cast. And he has an addictive personality, he loves to booze it up and smoke cigars and go nuts ... the only thing keeping him on track now is his kid. Put him in a room with these two guys for an hour, let the booze flow, whip out the cigars, and he'd be out on that after-cast bender for a whole weekend. Tracking THAT bender with some people with Go-Pros would be hilarious! Especially the bits at the end of the bender, when all 3 of them go crawling back to their wives and kids, just total burnt-out wrecks ...
Love the podcast guys!
FOR SOBER OCTOBER YOU GUYS SHOULD DO ROWING 🚣♂️
Joe is short so you guys are in with a shot for the win!
Still no chance
Is it their real friendship dynamic? Burt is talking and Tom is listening? 😂😂 I💜them both. Those tweets are priceless 😂😂
Bless the man that finally convinced these two to start doing podcasts regularly together. THANK YOU!..👍🏿
The one thing I like about this new setup is listening to the dudes laughing in the background! Keep em high and Tight #TimandBart
its a little more faint on the YMH podcast, but its my favorite part of every episode.
It is the best part of the show. It feels very authentic.
Can't stand the laughing in the back. They laugh at nearly everything and it's like it's the funniest thing they have ever heard. It's a funny show, but not "Hi. LMFAO!!!!!" funny.
WoWAholics101 you’re a lotta fun, aren’t ya?? I’d love to hang out with you at a party!
@@WoWAholics101 your jeans must be low and loose
God damn that virtue signal ending had me dying. Keep pumping these out guys
Just re-watched these XD Fucking dying over here.
My phone died right before tom’s impression of a dolphin cumming. I’ve never scrambled for a charger so fast in my life.
This is now my favorite podcast. Keep em comin. That ending killed me.
So pumped to see these two men, one chiseled like a Greek God, one emphatically obese like the Pillsbury Dough Boy, bounce their respective confidences and insecurities back and forth!
Emerson Lake Bert has the body of a god don’t @me
Who in the fuck is chiseled?
@@Patriotsoftwash Dee is the chiseled one!
Bert’s attitude about his daughter driving, & what vehicle she’ll get...perfectly aligned with what my father did. When I was 15 & about to start driving, he really hammered home the point I’d have to drive him around. I thought he was at least kind of kidding, which he was not, but to make matters worse be bought me a god damn hearse. I was mortified. He gifted it to me & let me drive just myself when I was 17 but my 16th year was something else
The bloke laughing hysterically in the background is the best.
2 Bears 1 Cave. Where we have Bert tell crazy stories and Tom is just as intrigued as all of us.
Great episode, yet one comment: where the hell was Hannah and the over-poured drinks?!
Tom said She was just outside, it was a onetime thing
This is amazing I’m stoked for next episode
Well this just became my favorite podcast of all time haha, keep this going and put out more episodes!!!!
"I just did the fighter and the kid" - damn this has been on the can for AWHILE
Yeah what's up with the slow turnaround?
They put them in the banks for when there not putting out alot of content. Smart really.
@@Bhans920 I get that but at points it's obvious this was awhile go if u follow them. I dont need 1 a week just good ones when they do come out
@@MisterTeckT its this or no tom and bert podcast. They are both on world tours. Im going to see tom next week and i live in Wisconsin. I met burt at a local bar after work after his show here cuz i had to work. Couldnt make his show but still got a pic w burt and told him i love him. Be a real fan bro. I like that they went thru w making the pod in general.
@@Bhans920 😑 you've obv missed the point. 🤷♂️
Mostly here for what's-her-face with the drinks and donuts.
I hope it's Hannah or I'm gonna feel like a real dick.
I heard Hannah is a real Tik Tok freak.
Like it matters 😏
Rob time to do some digging again
Bert is a great inspiration for someone like me. I never miss an AA meeting for at least a week after I hear anything that comes out of his face hole. Thank you Bert, you are truly what will make this beautiful country great again!
This is so great. I can't wait for more.
This has the potential to do joe Rogan numbers imo. Love these guys together
Not a chance.
not possible
Won't even have YMH numbers by month 2 or 3.
Like the podcast myself though obv.
I hope not. Don't get me wrong they deserve the views but, from what I've noticed, when channels get those big numbers they start selling out.
Its brilliant. It's intimate too though. It doesn't need to go JRE to be fantastic. The group that love these people together will always be happy and stick around forever though. JRE has a big following but also a lot of viewers that just pop in for certain episodes or don't stick around. This is for the boys. Ferda
Dude a show with comedians as camp counselors sounds like the best show!!
fernandograffiti25 there is one called “camp takota” it’s alright. Kind of a teen movie.
Oh shit or wet hot American summer! The movie is great! It’s on Netflix
@@nicksurfs1 but imagine one with all the comedians that have podcast.. It will be dope
fernandograffiti25 4 sure
This is my favourite pod cast on the internet, thank you, Tom and Bert!!!
I haven't laughed so hard in years. The ending was so perfect. It's nice that some people still have a sense of humour. +1 podcast follower from here.
I actually got light headed from this podcast.
“If you could change one thing about me what would it be?” 🤣🤣
At least now we know for sure who the chick is in this relationship.
Swimming would be the even playing field for sober October. Hands down!
The Laughter in the background is what makes me smile the most when listening to this. He really feels the comedy
literally the only podcast ive listened too beginning to end
Lewis Black would make the best camp counselor
MAYNARD -1 fucking spot on hahaa
MAYNARD -1 I’ve thought that since the movie accepted.
I would love to see patrice O'Neill as a camp counselor
@@undergroundtrainone he dead
@@Bhans920 no shit
Bert talks NON stop. Its amazing how he can go on and on.
Had no idea this podcast existed. Immediately is one of my favourites. Thank you gentleman ~
I oddly think the best of these podcasts thus far is the muted laughs from the control studio
Tom: when's the last time you were at a strip club
Bert: last night.....
No, he said “the other night”
Bert: "you dont have to finish that sentence"
Tom: *finishes sentence*
Thoroughly glad I wstched all the way until the end. ABSOLUTELY FKN HILARIOUS!!
I don't think I've laughed this hard in ages.. keep it up guys!
Vegan October! I just love how much Ari would hate it haha.
"the energy of wanting to put art out but having no artistic insight..."
Goddamn, I feel attacked
The supersonic frequency that Bert's laugh gets to right here! Amazing. This is why we love Bert. His comedy comes in second to his general sense of humor @7:04
This was the first time I could tolerate Bert in a LOOOOOOONNNNGGG time...thank you! Good on ya guys! Tom, as always, kills it...
Bert: " the hardest I've ever laughed..."
Bert 7 minutes later telling an entirely different story: "the hardest I've ever laughed..."
Ok?
@Log Splitta hahahah that's an accurate statement. Maybe you should practice it?
Log Splitta true that
Log Splitta repeating yourself isn’t a very valuable skill either. Bert says that shit way too often.
mabey he laughed... just as hard
2 bears 1 cave, I like that. You’re doing good.
Burt is such a pro he puts his t shirt back on WITHOUT taking his cap off!!
2 bears 1 cave is going to hit that #1 podcast spot. I love this podcast! Thank you guys so much!
Love you two together. Fun to see a real friendship and real conversation
I am dying watching the end especially. I love it when these 2 bears are in the same cave. 🐻🐻
I really love these!! Please keep em going
The laughing in the background is the best 😂
Lance Armstrong's coffee would have a completely different additive.
It'd keep you going and going.
LIVEWRONG
@@matthewarmistead7872 na, still livestrong
Well, we know it wouldn't have a nutty flavor.
Staying strong for halfsacks all day long.
Some of Tom's expressions to Bert are GOLDEN!
Man I can't wait for when Tom bust out some heroin and is like "want some?"
..right, but just to help you better accept your very own heroin addiction by laughingly shrugging off what are the beginning stages of such a stigmatized disease. Hey, hopefully this may even loosen up the audiences outlook on opiates to the point where they come to believe jamming a needle into their arm with a syringe full of the neighborhood's finest black tar, might be a quirky thing to try!
@@lavishlavon ...what?
@@lavishlavon I feel like there is humor in your comment, but I can't find it
N. A. Attendee Lavish doesnt get the difference between being facetious and a circle of metal chairs. Coffee in the back. "Maybe next they will play with nukes?" Lavish: "was enjoying this. Nukes are not a joke Nagasaki etc... Bleh bleh bleh." Berts just a drug addled racist and thats ok. Dont judge and try it out.
Lol
Crazy how i was just thinkin about this podcast in particular and then 3 minutes later its posted
Haha do it again senpai
I like your 'N' word hat Bert. Keep being you brother.
🤣
*The background laughs make me laugh even harder ! I fkn love this shit!!!*
The last 5 minutes is comedy gold! Thanks you gays. Love it!
This Past Weekend and 2B1C dropping the same day? Gang Gang, Jean Jean!
A hitter and a shitter!
Bertberbert
Been refreshing for this upload since last week. Thank you!
Watching old podcasts during quarantine. I had the pleasure of watching Charlie Murphy and he was hilarious. It was the best show ever.
So glad you guys are doing a show together now! I love it!
Can these please be two or three hours long! I neeeeed more