2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer | Ep. 02

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ธ.ค. 2024

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  • @dbridge416
    @dbridge416 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2355

    I'm so excited for another episode of Tom enabling Bert

    • @arrw
      @arrw 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Was thinking the same exact thing

    • @Calilou52
      @Calilou52 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      And no Christina 😀

    • @ruggerosmith1167
      @ruggerosmith1167 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      It's all part of Tom's master plan to destroy Bort's life, body, mind and ultimately flay his mortal soul!

    • @foatie
      @foatie 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      💀💀💀💀

    • @22.NUU.DRU.22
      @22.NUU.DRU.22 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @Vino what do you believe Christina brings to the table? Just wondering because I particularly dont care for YMH podcast to begin with. Although I like bert, rogan, segura, callen, stanhope even shaub etc. In their own element, but the wife and husband podcast just doesnt work. Everyone knows that there is a different dynamic with relationships with people, which will/can change personalities etc.

  • @Jawgasmokes
    @Jawgasmokes 5 ปีที่แล้ว +694

    I literally was just thinking to myself I would love another episode of two bears one cave thanks mommy

    • @unknownbeard8843
      @unknownbeard8843 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Trust, I was going for a shit an saw it up on my feeds 😂

    • @deafbardjenkins1001
      @deafbardjenkins1001 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same same , as a proud member of the cool guys club , we gotta keep them jeans high and tight

    • @TivoYourEbay_0
      @TivoYourEbay_0 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Deafbard Jenkins I really like that

    • @mrGAMEINFORMATION
      @mrGAMEINFORMATION 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I just wanna be raw i like that

  • @HeatherAlicia9109
    @HeatherAlicia9109 5 ปีที่แล้ว +751

    I was yelling “BILL BURR” when they were trying to pick a camp counselor.

    • @rumham7631
      @rumham7631 5 ปีที่แล้ว +108

      Bill Burr is literally that dad that screamed "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" at a bunch of 10 year olds, he would be perfect

    • @non-binaryeugene733
      @non-binaryeugene733 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Don Rickles

    • @annalouiseregan1181
      @annalouiseregan1181 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      HeatherAlicia9109 this needs to be a comedy sketch now

    • @chrisgates5739
      @chrisgates5739 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Seinfeld

    • @bryanparish8046
      @bryanparish8046 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Haha he was the first to come to my mind too. Could u imagine?! Haha

  • @derekhudson3415
    @derekhudson3415 5 ปีที่แล้ว +153

    Bert's relentless ability to think of random topics is astounding. "Whats one thing you'd change about me" *dosnt let him answer* "ever think about hair transplants" 😂 Tom cant keep up

  • @mokodo_
    @mokodo_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +598

    I'm just gonna say it, a Tom and Bert podcast is the best podcast we didn't know we needed.

    • @dustingarn1768
      @dustingarn1768 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Its like a blessing in the skies 🤣🤣🤣

    • @conordaly9993
      @conordaly9993 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Your

    • @sirweebs2914
      @sirweebs2914 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@dustingarn1768 Is that how you say it?

    • @BirdOfHermes83
      @BirdOfHermes83 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@conordaly9993 what now?

    • @CuteAngel22930
      @CuteAngel22930 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Dustin Garn It’s “a blessing in disguise” lmaoooo

  • @MarcusSchott
    @MarcusSchott 5 ปีที่แล้ว +372

    Bert: “Me around the house is a nightmare”
    Tom: “I could see that”

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yeah, and Bert is genuinely confused as to why his wife won't fuck him any more ...

    • @AnnaZombi
      @AnnaZombi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ...."and do so every night as I gaze somberly at Christina."

  • @ArJayDM
    @ArJayDM 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1157

    Tom is like an emotionless psychopath and Bert is like his innocent little brother who will do anything he says. Name a better duo.

  • @skengdaddy
    @skengdaddy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +307

    Bert Kreischer "I know I'm telling this wrong, but I am telling this better"
    That explains sooooo much.

    • @johnmcmanus7809
      @johnmcmanus7809 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Never let the truth get in the way of a good Yarn.

    • @Daniel-wv7lj
      @Daniel-wv7lj 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Definitely told it wrong and also did not tell it better 🤣

  • @MNewsTime
    @MNewsTime 3 ปีที่แล้ว +218

    I’ve seen every single episode and can confirm Bert has not biked once to the show

  • @Alex-et2ek
    @Alex-et2ek 5 ปีที่แล้ว +489

    Tom and Bert should have to loose weight and Joe and Ari should have to Gain weight. If Bert and Tom loose more than ari and Joe gain then they win

    • @johnking7535
      @johnking7535 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Genius

    • @chadgrov
      @chadgrov 5 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      That Jew has that Auschwitz gene he isn’t gaining weight

    • @aaronlockyer9715
      @aaronlockyer9715 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@chadgrov lmfao

    • @Gasinduced
      @Gasinduced 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That’s a fucking great idea!

    • @chrism45
      @chrism45 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Tha'ts a great idea, maybe another year when it's been longer since the weight loss one.

  • @silenttoxic707
    @silenttoxic707 5 ปีที่แล้ว +186

    Bunz: "I need more vices"
    Bert: "I could pull back on a couple"
    Lmfao

  • @dus10htx
    @dus10htx 5 ปีที่แล้ว +230

    The best part of this podcast is the producers laughing in the background. So good.

    • @merfymac
      @merfymac 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@GenderSternchenInnen it is when it's part of your job description.

    • @Rushil69420
      @Rushil69420 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      i was sober for the first half of this and pretty much laughed throughout.

    • @aronheathcock
      @aronheathcock 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Dustin i beg to differ

    • @dus10htx
      @dus10htx 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Aron Heathcock cool man

    • @wyattrussell7496
      @wyattrussell7496 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I think they got the idea from Desus and Mero

  • @chuckallen4856
    @chuckallen4856 5 ปีที่แล้ว +243

    Don't give into Joe's demands. Hip Hop Sober October. Everyone would be on an equal level. Keep it up Tim and Brad.

    • @myusernameblows
      @myusernameblows 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Keanu Reeves Gun Range challenge. Then Joe can't complain about judges.

    • @RunningBlade2184
      @RunningBlade2184 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Brett that would honestly be a really fun idea. Just have them train hardcore with guns for a month and see who would do the best on the course. I think Joe would still have an advantage, but way less of an advantage than the fitness stuff.

    • @TheitaniofRome
      @TheitaniofRome 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah joe needs to not get his way and force it on others for once.

    • @TheitaniofRome
      @TheitaniofRome 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@RunningBlade2184 rogan has a hudge advantage. He has a very martial mind which 100% translates to a gun course. Dancing hip hop or nothing.

    • @SP-vo7ty
      @SP-vo7ty 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Pittsburgh is actually a great city to run through.

  • @tonyouimet1648
    @tonyouimet1648 5 ปีที่แล้ว +779

    Never get rid of the dude laughing in the background

    • @briggsb1
      @briggsb1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      I start laughing every time that guy starts laughing. That is the most genuine laugh.

    • @killazftw
      @killazftw 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      doesn't it kind of sound like joe rogan?

    • @gstrdms
      @gstrdms 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Reminds me of Phil Giroux from The Tom Green Show

    • @nicky_hashtag4264
      @nicky_hashtag4264 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      It's a Rogan byte. A producer is pushing a button. Not to ruin the magic.

    • @dannyhunt9311
      @dannyhunt9311 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@nicky_hashtag4264 😂😂

  • @gregyoung125
    @gregyoung125 5 ปีที่แล้ว +285

    I love hearing the guy in the background burst out laughing all the time

    • @Alien_Ian
      @Alien_Ian 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      its the chuckle fucks

    • @Boondire
      @Boondire 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It sounds exactly like Joe Rogen's laugh

    • @sappel1478
      @sappel1478 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Boondire YES! I was scrolling through the comments to see if I was crazy. It sounds spot on! Thank you! lol

    • @BirdOfHermes83
      @BirdOfHermes83 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hes on every video I've seen so far and its hilarious!

    • @brandonball5971
      @brandonball5971 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Boondire then you don't know anything about rogan because nadav sounds nothing like joe

  • @christianbennett776
    @christianbennett776 5 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    The lack of structure in this show makes it fun AF!

    • @JohnSmith-kw9yc
      @JohnSmith-kw9yc 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I would have to say just the opposite. The stupid beam of wood between and their struggle to face one another looks so uncomfortable and "structured" for no reason. The whole show comes across as as forced conversation, foolish.

  • @breazybear
    @breazybear 5 ปีที่แล้ว +906

    Half way through...where is the hot intern pouring the doubles?

    • @jaymacyjoo
      @jaymacyjoo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      *triples

    • @connorhudson422
      @connorhudson422 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @J R Beert won't let a lack of hot intern prevent him from slowly poisoning his liver and subsequently other organs.

    • @timothy2935
      @timothy2935 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @J R for real tho 😆 In all reality we don't want to lose him early just so we can watch him guzzle booze

    • @benpatrick148
      @benpatrick148 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Mrs Kreischer said " Cut the shit, or half. Try me. "

    • @pauldelsandro8781
      @pauldelsandro8781 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      But is he really liveing if he's not morning drinking

  • @nounks6020
    @nounks6020 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    This 100% needs to be weekly if not more, love it guys!

  • @shanefoster333
    @shanefoster333 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This is my favorite pairing in podcast history. Keeping it at a quick hour is perfect. That last bit was what I'm here for. The way Tom is with Bert is hilarious. Let the enabling continue!

  • @Mikemikemike13579
    @Mikemikemike13579 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I forgot how much you gents got me through the insanity of Cov!d . Thank you

  • @drenewman4851
    @drenewman4851 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Bless the man that finally convinced these two to start doing podcasts regularly together. THANK YOU!..👍🏿

  • @ArJayDM
    @ArJayDM 5 ปีที่แล้ว +220

    They should prioritize this over bertcast and ymh. Not that those 2 are bad or anything but this is actually gold

    • @dominicg554
      @dominicg554 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Yeah for sure. This is way better than an hour of poop jokes (your aunts house) and C level comedians talking about traveling (bertcast).

    • @NateGUYYY
      @NateGUYYY 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Dominic G your aunts house 😂😂😂

    • @hunterstewart3928
      @hunterstewart3928 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Hopefully the views show them this what people want and they up it to weekly

    • @tacocatseven
      @tacocatseven 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      David Tolin There’s tons of hilarious female comedians who leave me dead... then there’s Christina... a total buzzkill and so fucking unfunny.
      It feels like people are too afraid to say it because she’s Tom’s wife. 🙄

    • @letsgotomarsman
      @letsgotomarsman 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      This needs tome to breathe, pumping these out to much will suck

  • @wobo44
    @wobo44 5 ปีที่แล้ว +140

    This is probably the best podcast now. Hilarious. Why’d it take so long?!?

    • @AH-yu2pi
      @AH-yu2pi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You should try MMPC, My Favorite Murder or YMH. Well YMH is hit or miss, depends if that fat serial killer looking guy talks less and let's the blonde lady shine.

    • @merfymac
      @merfymac 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      History Hyenas and Tuesdays with Stories are better imho

    • @AH-yu2pi
      @AH-yu2pi 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@merfymac I will give them a try. Thanks.

    • @wobo44
      @wobo44 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I watch YMH regularly. That’s great as well, I just love Berts lack of care. Chris DiStefano is hilarious and is going to be the next big comic I think, I like them a lot as well. Thanks so much for the recommendations tho!! Always appreciated.

    • @GK-qc5ry
      @GK-qc5ry 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mmpc was my main favourite and I'm a huge Bill Burr fan but it's got a little repetitive. He goes over the same topics, talks alot about going without a drink, controlling his anger and he has mellowed with time (not a bad thing at all). When I listen to an old podcast Bill is raw and more funnier.

  • @kowaxkowax
    @kowaxkowax 5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    the guy laughing behind the camera? ... i love him. i don't know who he is, i don't care who he is.. i'm just looking foward for his laugh every joke.

  • @jakek9684
    @jakek9684 5 ปีที่แล้ว +122

    Tom: "I need more vices"
    Bert: "I could cut a few"
    🤣🤣🤣

    • @dustinkunish377
      @dustinkunish377 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jake K I’m in the mind set where I think both these things on the same day

    • @mattmroc
      @mattmroc 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dustinkunish377 lw

  • @MeTriviSlipKlokDriva
    @MeTriviSlipKlokDriva 5 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    Bert really is everything that made Homer Simpson great from season 1-10

    • @Relb_Dee
      @Relb_Dee 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      (50th!)
      OMG... you're right! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @al4385
    @al4385 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Anyone: " Hey Bert."
    Bert: "OMG dude! Top ten people you've ever said hello to!"

    • @Jeremycook_
      @Jeremycook_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Who's Bert?

    • @al4385
      @al4385 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Jeremycook_ HAHAHAHAHA! GOOD ONE!

    • @peralesdavid
      @peralesdavid 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂

  • @caneface87
    @caneface87 5 ปีที่แล้ว +131

    The one thing I like about this new setup is listening to the dudes laughing in the background! Keep em high and Tight #TimandBart

    • @JB8-e8p
      @JB8-e8p 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      its a little more faint on the YMH podcast, but its my favorite part of every episode.

    • @humanindica962
      @humanindica962 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It is the best part of the show. It feels very authentic.

    • @WoWAholics101
      @WoWAholics101 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Can't stand the laughing in the back. They laugh at nearly everything and it's like it's the funniest thing they have ever heard. It's a funny show, but not "Hi. LMFAO!!!!!" funny.

    • @NateGUYYY
      @NateGUYYY 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      WoWAholics101 you’re a lotta fun, aren’t ya?? I’d love to hang out with you at a party!

    • @nicksummers814
      @nicksummers814 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@WoWAholics101 your jeans must be low and loose

  • @captain26
    @captain26 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Bert's mind is like a freaking squirrel on cocaine. But it's on a long leash so he's never completely lost.

  • @calthornley2339
    @calthornley2339 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    the guy laughing in the back ground is gold, he provides the best laugh track.

    • @delithunder1
      @delithunder1 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Cal Thornley that’s the production booth

  • @oliviaoverboard
    @oliviaoverboard 5 ปีที่แล้ว +245

    "i do believe i will be skinny one day" -bert, 2019.

    • @avaonline2499
      @avaonline2499 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Bert's tombstone: "Here Lies Bert Kreischer, Still No Thinner."

    • @HorizonHipHop
      @HorizonHipHop 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I too have that delusion.. "next year for sure" I always say in my head... lol

    • @Derek_Keenan
      @Derek_Keenan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He’ll be thinner when he’s diabetic

    • @sisyr5615
      @sisyr5615 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Live long enough and we all die skinny. If he manages to push on until his 80's, I could see Burnt getting skinny. :D

    • @SuperReviews4you
      @SuperReviews4you 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@avaonline2499 Bert 1000 years later will still be no skinner than today.

  • @kingslurpee6849
    @kingslurpee6849 5 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    "Yeah I'm gonna be shredded pretty soon" LOL

  • @quantanamusquattlebaum8680
    @quantanamusquattlebaum8680 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    This is now my favorite podcast. Keep em comin. That ending killed me.

  • @14SlayerFan88
    @14SlayerFan88 5 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    I love the laughter in the background 🤣🤣 it just adds to it all in the perfect way

  • @justinendicott2048
    @justinendicott2048 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    "I got back from the Sober October podcast and I was high." -Burnt Christian.

  • @kevin7206
    @kevin7206 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Bill Burr is the camp counselor who just yells at the campers while they harass him.

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Billy Bitch-Tits would be awesome as the 3rd maniac in this 'cast. And he has an addictive personality, he loves to booze it up and smoke cigars and go nuts ... the only thing keeping him on track now is his kid. Put him in a room with these two guys for an hour, let the booze flow, whip out the cigars, and he'd be out on that after-cast bender for a whole weekend. Tracking THAT bender with some people with Go-Pros would be hilarious! Especially the bits at the end of the bender, when all 3 of them go crawling back to their wives and kids, just total burnt-out wrecks ...

  • @petegianopoulos1077
    @petegianopoulos1077 5 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    This has the potential to do joe Rogan numbers imo. Love these guys together

    • @gtrriffs
      @gtrriffs 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Not a chance.

    • @jasonwawryk3821
      @jasonwawryk3821 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      not possible

    • @merfymac
      @merfymac 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Won't even have YMH numbers by month 2 or 3.
      Like the podcast myself though obv.

    • @machamanos7466
      @machamanos7466 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I hope not. Don't get me wrong they deserve the views but, from what I've noticed, when channels get those big numbers they start selling out.

    • @Bittamin
      @Bittamin 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Its brilliant. It's intimate too though. It doesn't need to go JRE to be fantastic. The group that love these people together will always be happy and stick around forever though. JRE has a big following but also a lot of viewers that just pop in for certain episodes or don't stick around. This is for the boys. Ferda

  • @RRRRobbbb
    @RRRRobbbb 5 ปีที่แล้ว +380

    Mostly here for what's-her-face with the drinks and donuts.

    • @ObnoxiousBlightbringer
      @ObnoxiousBlightbringer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I hope it's Hannah or I'm gonna feel like a real dick.

    • @chimpy1961
      @chimpy1961 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      I heard Hannah is a real Tik Tok freak.

    • @qnty6779
      @qnty6779 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    • @kozmicflush980
      @kozmicflush980 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Like it matters 😏

    • @dariogacia4166
      @dariogacia4166 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Rob time to do some digging again

  • @ObidiahGoldshekelsteinovitz
    @ObidiahGoldshekelsteinovitz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    3:47 Love those hard core laughs in the background to Burt's jokes.

  • @UK-PeasantD23679E
    @UK-PeasantD23679E 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    Love the podcast guys!
    FOR SOBER OCTOBER YOU GUYS SHOULD DO ROWING 🚣‍♂️
    Joe is short so you guys are in with a shot for the win!

  • @JDunnPainter
    @JDunnPainter 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Bert talks NON stop. Its amazing how he can go on and on.

  • @flyingstump2938
    @flyingstump2938 5 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    Great episode, yet one comment: where the hell was Hannah and the over-poured drinks?!

    • @jpaldanius
      @jpaldanius 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Tom said She was just outside, it was a onetime thing

  • @arrw
    @arrw 5 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    love to hear bert talk about how unhinged he is

    • @2014Alm
      @2014Alm 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Zah Hall of course!

    • @kozmicflush980
      @kozmicflush980 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @J R Noooo sobriety sucks balls!

  • @Jaydoggy531
    @Jaydoggy531 5 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    To whomever needs to see this: I earnestly hope the next time you reheat your leftovers in the microwave, it comes out perfectly the first try.

    • @jk33121
      @jk33121 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Jaydoggy531 this is the kind of love and positivity the world needs

    • @JakeKyuukaga
      @JakeKyuukaga 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you

  • @Jay-mk2ef
    @Jay-mk2ef 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    I want someone to look at me the way Tom Segura looks at Bert Kreischer

  • @fernandograffiti25
    @fernandograffiti25 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Dude a show with comedians as camp counselors sounds like the best show!!

    • @nicksurfs1
      @nicksurfs1 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      fernandograffiti25 there is one called “camp takota” it’s alright. Kind of a teen movie.

    • @nicksurfs1
      @nicksurfs1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Oh shit or wet hot American summer! The movie is great! It’s on Netflix

    • @fernandograffiti25
      @fernandograffiti25 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nicksurfs1 but imagine one with all the comedians that have podcast.. It will be dope

    • @nicksurfs1
      @nicksurfs1 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      fernandograffiti25 4 sure

  • @letsgotomarsman
    @letsgotomarsman 5 ปีที่แล้ว +146

    So we just skipping over that story of your friend kidnapping a girl?

    • @shogunstarhero6795
      @shogunstarhero6795 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Oh yea I forgot about that. What did he say? "Another kidnapping story?" so with Joey's, that makes two kidnapping stories?

    • @InvictusRed1911
      @InvictusRed1911 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Honestly, Tom needs to stop interrupting 🤦🏾‍♂️

    • @JungleCrook
      @JungleCrook 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      like a smooth criminal

  • @emersonlake9302
    @emersonlake9302 5 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    So pumped to see these two men, one chiseled like a Greek God, one emphatically obese like the Pillsbury Dough Boy, bounce their respective confidences and insecurities back and forth!

    • @buslengths
      @buslengths 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Emerson Lake Bert has the body of a god don’t @me

    • @PatriotsOfWash
      @PatriotsOfWash 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Who in the fuck is chiseled?

    • @Donkeykongington
      @Donkeykongington 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@PatriotsOfWash Dee is the chiseled one!

  • @nickbezanson3549
    @nickbezanson3549 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I see these two in 25-30 years going on tour together like Steve Martin and Martin Short, and being fucking amazing!

  • @Tjlaidzz
    @Tjlaidzz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +151

    God damn that virtue signal ending had me dying. Keep pumping these out guys

    • @peterpoulson119
      @peterpoulson119 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Just re-watched these XD Fucking dying over here.

  • @Screamfancast
    @Screamfancast 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    2 Bears 1 Cave. Where we have Bert tell crazy stories and Tom is just as intrigued as all of us.

  • @MrHeroicDemon
    @MrHeroicDemon 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    "We are doing a bit?"
    "YEAH WE ARE DOING A BIT"
    lmfaoooooooooooo

  • @codyfrye2247
    @codyfrye2247 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Love you two together. Fun to see a real friendship and real conversation

  • @saraforney3940
    @saraforney3940 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Bert’s attitude about his daughter driving, & what vehicle she’ll get...perfectly aligned with what my father did. When I was 15 & about to start driving, he really hammered home the point I’d have to drive him around. I thought he was at least kind of kidding, which he was not, but to make matters worse be bought me a god damn hearse. I was mortified. He gifted it to me & let me drive just myself when I was 17 but my 16th year was something else

  • @nataliahellen6509
    @nataliahellen6509 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Is it their real friendship dynamic? Burt is talking and Tom is listening? 😂😂 I💜them both. Those tweets are priceless 😂😂

  • @jonnyA0112
    @jonnyA0112 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    2 bears 1 cave is going to hit that #1 podcast spot. I love this podcast! Thank you guys so much!

  • @SRNF
    @SRNF 5 ปีที่แล้ว +120

    How is it possible to beat Joe when he gets the final say on the challenge and he is boosting testosterone back to peak range. He is competing against 3 males in their 40s who will have hormone crashes from being over worked. I feel like its 3 friends + a rich dude trying to cheat and fit in.

    • @merfymac
      @merfymac 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I still say the challenge should be something like become mayor of Oxnard.

    • @squidvicious8727
      @squidvicious8727 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      yea joe only wants to do challenges that he will win for shit he already does, then plus he is on TrT while they aren't. him winning at sober october is a joke.

    • @Fryed_Bryce
      @Fryed_Bryce 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      man you guys are thinking about this way more than they are. relax. year 3 will be much more fair...or they'll go back to the year 1 theme which was more about just dedication and completing something together. have some faith in our boys here

    • @lycanthrope6644
      @lycanthrope6644 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sooo, whts the problem?

    • @magnetopenguino
      @magnetopenguino 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      he could stop the TRT and still have a huge advantage due to the fact that he works out to a higher degree year-long than the rest of them. you could argue that the TRT brings him into the ranges that the others should be since he's ~10 years older, but not everyone is at peak/ideal ranges naturally anyway. but yeah, it's clear that he just wants the challenge to be pure physical output with cold numbers, which he knows he's going to win every time. ari has a good chance of coming in second due to having a thin, tall build good for running, and then it comes down to tom vs. bert. The thing is that Joe genuinely enjoys pushing himself to the limit with things like pure mileage running, nobody else does - So the others are all killing themselves, stressed as fuck the whole month while Joe is more or less doing his normal routine.

  • @zerogravity2020
    @zerogravity2020 5 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    Bert: " the hardest I've ever laughed..."
    Bert 7 minutes later telling an entirely different story: "the hardest I've ever laughed..."

    • @drewlovely2668
      @drewlovely2668 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ok?

    • @zerogravity2020
      @zerogravity2020 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Log Splitta hahahah that's an accurate statement. Maybe you should practice it?

    • @TheSneakyDingus
      @TheSneakyDingus 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Log Splitta true that

    • @Cavs191
      @Cavs191 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Log Splitta repeating yourself isn’t a very valuable skill either. Bert says that shit way too often.

    • @sabbathjackal
      @sabbathjackal 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      mabey he laughed... just as hard

  • @alijahtucker4673
    @alijahtucker4673 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    “he ends the day with a cigar, a glass of wine and an edible” 😂

  • @812tompark
    @812tompark 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    "They weren't bad enough to go to jail but they weren't good enough to go to summer school". Fine lines.

  • @maynard-1776
    @maynard-1776 5 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    Lewis Black would make the best camp counselor

    • @vhscopyofseinfeld
      @vhscopyofseinfeld 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      MAYNARD -1 fucking spot on hahaa

    • @__Hyde__
      @__Hyde__ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      MAYNARD -1 I’ve thought that since the movie accepted.

    • @undergroundtrainone
      @undergroundtrainone 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I would love to see patrice O'Neill as a camp counselor

    • @NunzioBustacucci
      @NunzioBustacucci 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@undergroundtrainone he dead

    • @undergroundtrainone
      @undergroundtrainone 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@NunzioBustacucci no shit

  • @VintagedMillennial
    @VintagedMillennial 5 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    "the energy of wanting to put art out but having no artistic insight..."
    Goddamn, I feel attacked

  • @blkntanta
    @blkntanta 5 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    I like your 'N' word hat Bert. Keep being you brother.

    • @GM-rs2fv
      @GM-rs2fv 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      🤣

  • @rosspape4190
    @rosspape4190 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Bert is a great inspiration for someone like me. I never miss an AA meeting for at least a week after I hear anything that comes out of his face hole. Thank you Bert, you are truly what will make this beautiful country great again!

  • @landgrebea
    @landgrebea 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I oddly think the best of these podcasts thus far is the muted laughs from the control studio

  • @MeticulousTechTV
    @MeticulousTechTV 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    "I just did the fighter and the kid" - damn this has been on the can for AWHILE

    • @MisterTeckT
      @MisterTeckT 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah what's up with the slow turnaround?

    • @NunzioBustacucci
      @NunzioBustacucci 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      They put them in the banks for when there not putting out alot of content. Smart really.

    • @MisterTeckT
      @MisterTeckT 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@NunzioBustacucci I get that but at points it's obvious this was awhile go if u follow them. I dont need 1 a week just good ones when they do come out

    • @NunzioBustacucci
      @NunzioBustacucci 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@MisterTeckT its this or no tom and bert podcast. They are both on world tours. Im going to see tom next week and i live in Wisconsin. I met burt at a local bar after work after his show here cuz i had to work. Couldnt make his show but still got a pic w burt and told him i love him. Be a real fan bro. I like that they went thru w making the pod in general.

    • @MisterTeckT
      @MisterTeckT 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@NunzioBustacucci 😑 you've obv missed the point. 🤷‍♂️

  • @GavinJ06
    @GavinJ06 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Vegan October! I just love how much Ari would hate it haha.

  • @dk_pixels7849
    @dk_pixels7849 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Swimming would be the even playing field for sober October. Hands down!

  • @Sven3ST
    @Sven3ST 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I haven't laughed so hard in years. The ending was so perfect. It's nice that some people still have a sense of humour. +1 podcast follower from here.

    • @Sven3ST
      @Sven3ST 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I actually got light headed from this podcast.

  • @evergreensceptre
    @evergreensceptre 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    The Laughter in the background is what makes me smile the most when listening to this. He really feels the comedy

  • @PickleRick849
    @PickleRick849 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you for pulling Monday out of the shitter with this episode. You are the heros we need!

  • @RcDriftIN
    @RcDriftIN 5 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    2 bears 1 cave, I like that. You’re doing good.

  • @MrM-fd8hr
    @MrM-fd8hr 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    SoberOctober aka whatever joe wants to win at.

  • @unofficialsweatt
    @unofficialsweatt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    literally the only podcast ive listened too beginning to end

  • @MattDel907
    @MattDel907 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Been refreshing for this upload since last week. Thank you!

  • @waywardson911
    @waywardson911 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    10x better than the normal podcast. Please add Bill Burr to this mix.
    3 bears 1 honey pot!

    • @Donkeykongington
      @Donkeykongington 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      What the fuck is the normal podcast?

    • @seanbean4682
      @seanbean4682 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I just want to know why adding one bald ginger ups the bear count.

    • @Exalted_Example
      @Exalted_Example 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Burr got too much money for this shit

    • @waywardson911
      @waywardson911 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@seanbean4682 Touche' Sir. You have a great point.

    • @pravkdey
      @pravkdey 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      2bears and a beaver

  • @salutations8705
    @salutations8705 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Bert: "you dont have to finish that sentence"
    Tom: *finishes sentence*

  • @mmariffraff1689
    @mmariffraff1689 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    This was the first time I could tolerate Bert in a LOOOOOOONNNNGGG time...thank you! Good on ya guys! Tom, as always, kills it...

  • @tommcloughlin16
    @tommcloughlin16 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The bloke laughing hysterically in the background is the best.

  • @cricket12ish
    @cricket12ish 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    Tom: when's the last time you were at a strip club
    Bert: last night.....

    • @Derek_Keenan
      @Derek_Keenan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      No, he said “the other night”

  • @mollymartin9274
    @mollymartin9274 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    “If you could change one thing about me what would it be?” 🤣🤣

    • @Donkeykongington
      @Donkeykongington 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      At least now we know for sure who the chick is in this relationship.

  • @bryancallen213
    @bryancallen213 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    1:07:45 Can you please have a defibrillator on set.

    • @xCOVINGTONx
      @xCOVINGTONx 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Agreed fake Bryan Callen

    • @SteveCossaboom
      @SteveCossaboom 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah good plan. Anyone who maxes out his crazy over-intake of stuff like Bert is 100% going to collapse one day, either with a stroke, heart attack, or aneurism. There was a great punk-cowboy-rock band called The Beat Farmers, and the drummer/singer's schtick (Country Dick Montana) was massively overkilling every night on crazy amounts of tequila, other booze, probably several kinds of drugs, and huge amounts of fatty food. He cakked it on stage with a massive heart attack in Whistler, BC, Canada in 1995 (every performer who went to that bar, "The Longhorn", afterwards called it "The Haunted Stage") ... just a completely blown out mess of a dude who went way too far. Bert's gonna go that way, and there's a good chance it'll happen on stage, or in a podcast like this.

  • @shavedparmesanprosciuttoan4317
    @shavedparmesanprosciuttoan4317 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My phone died right before tom’s impression of a dolphin cumming. I’ve never scrambled for a charger so fast in my life.

  • @bananakc3983
    @bananakc3983 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Watching old podcasts during quarantine. I had the pleasure of watching Charlie Murphy and he was hilarious. It was the best show ever.

  • @victorsoldano1550
    @victorsoldano1550 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Ari and Tom vs Joe and Bert. Ari and Joe run, Tom and Bert dance, scores combine.

  • @sl33pi28
    @sl33pi28 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Crazy how i was just thinkin about this podcast in particular and then 3 minutes later its posted

  • @avaonline2499
    @avaonline2499 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Bert's tombstone: "Here Lies Bert Kreischer, Still No Thinner."

  • @TheScottGillies
    @TheScottGillies 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    The supersonic frequency that Bert's laugh gets to right here! Amazing. This is why we love Bert. His comedy comes in second to his general sense of humor @7:04

  • @DavidKing2012
    @DavidKing2012 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "I can take a shirt off so fucking quick" I look away and then right back and he's shirtless 🤣🤣🤣

  • @ModeratelyAmused
    @ModeratelyAmused 5 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    Lance Armstrong's coffee would have a completely different additive.

    • @Ironman829
      @Ironman829 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It'd keep you going and going.

    • @matthewarmistead7872
      @matthewarmistead7872 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      LIVEWRONG

    • @KnarBurger
      @KnarBurger 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@matthewarmistead7872 na, still livestrong

    • @waurbenyeger
      @waurbenyeger 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Well, we know it wouldn't have a nutty flavor.

    • @cowperm
      @cowperm 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Staying strong for halfsacks all day long.

  • @johnnie543
    @johnnie543 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    This Past Weekend and 2B1C dropping the same day? Gang Gang, Jean Jean!

    • @PAELofDI
      @PAELofDI 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      A hitter and a shitter!

    • @PedestrianBrand
      @PedestrianBrand 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bertberbert

  • @mikekane442
    @mikekane442 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Rogans the camp counselor. He knows the outdoors, is disciplined,and also cool to chill with and has lots of stories

    • @TheBornnaked
      @TheBornnaked 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mike kane Why is this comment so funny

    • @Dr.Unsteady
      @Dr.Unsteady 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Rich Well cause joe is a toe

    • @mikekane442
      @mikekane442 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Cause it's true! Think about it! In that situation with 10 comedian campers and one comedian camp counselor, Rogan makes the perfect camp counselor!!

  • @AgentDave34
    @AgentDave34 5 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    My favorite podcast featuring a serial killer and an 800 pound racist!

    • @PhillipNeal
      @PhillipNeal 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Is this the David Cassidy?!!!!

    • @AgentDave34
      @AgentDave34 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@PhillipNeal yep, back from the grave.

  • @anthonybyne2724
    @anthonybyne2724 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Burt is such a pro he puts his t shirt back on WITHOUT taking his cap off!!

  • @ryanseazon
    @ryanseazon 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    My favorite cavecasters: Tim Sugar and Bart Krystals.

  • @gauntlygamer2863
    @gauntlygamer2863 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Oh thank god. I've been checking spotify every day. The closing shift tonight got so much easier!
    I think it's very likely this podcast will surpass the popularity of both Bertcast and YMH.

  • @PowerHouse1987
    @PowerHouse1987 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Great last 5 min!! You can do that every week. Loved it. Hilarious

    • @readcastor2977
      @readcastor2977 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes plz so fucking funny!

    • @live4lies
      @live4lies 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hey, Muslins...
      😂

  • @ayylmao8562
    @ayylmao8562 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    33:56
    Tom derailed the kidnapping conversation completely, he seemingly did it on purpose too, weird.

    • @StromburlyRedux
      @StromburlyRedux 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I know I’m way too late here but I think that’s just their relationship lmao. They say what pops into their head, go off on a huge tangent, then come back to the original topic wayyy later.

    • @curtiscallahan7105
      @curtiscallahan7105 ปีที่แล้ว

      So did he or did he not kidnap a girl? I need to know what happened. Hahahaha

  • @mcgris1535
    @mcgris1535 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    The guy in the background has such a contagious laugh haha 😂

    • @juanpisukan
      @juanpisukan 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      This guy sounds like Joe Rogan

  • @robertfoglia1240
    @robertfoglia1240 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    "Let's start dipping again and commit to it for a month."
    What a great ploy to get Bert on 1 more addiction.