@@cultbender pretty much. Not sure if his doctor explained this to him but xanax works on the same receptors as alcohol and as such produces a similar effect. So while bert may be 10 (not 16) off alcohol he has not been 10 days sober
@@cultbender probably honestly. Xans fuck people up, and when you're in his situation you can get as much as you want from a doctor. I got addicted to xans right when I got to college, and I'm still missing months of memories. It's weird bc certain songs I listened to a lot during that time bring back memories. Honestly though, until bert starts slurring his words I think it's safe to say he's ok.
She was in Forgetting Sarah Marshall!? --- If only there was a way to remember what her character's name was in that movie. Goddammit, Bert, I wanna like you, but you're making it so hard these days...
@os terminal no rapper freestyles. The closest they get is doing what you said. If they try to actually freestyle they sound retarded. People that think famous rappers truly freestyle probably believe in magic.
@@eirik5568 nope that's an alcoholic in denial's definition. If you know alcohol is having a negative effect on your life and you continue to consume it despite this, you're an alcoholic
Kickasso wait? You literally just said what he did and told him his definition was wrong because he used less words. An alcoholic is an alcoholic. Bert is an alcoholic. He drinks every night in order to sleep... that’s enough there. And obviously he’ll lie about his amount of consumption, like an alcoholic. So like Bert, there’s the alcoholics that drink at some point everyday to get fucked up.. then you’ve got dependent alcoholics that need a drink to wake up. You can be an alcoholic, and not physically dependent. Lol
Okay so as soon as I heard the pool counts as a shower (& not the 1st time Bert has said it) I IMMEDIATELY went to the drinking game - *new rule* - if Bert says anything about how the pool is same as shower EVERYONE has to guzzle their drink, hit pause on podcast & refill the drink and guzzle another (or at least 1/2 depending)
I tapped out of the whole podcast after that, and I’m the type of listener that plays all podcasts straight through. The worst 12 mins of audio I’ve ever been subjected to ever.
He might seem less dumb if wasn't trying to be so deceptive. "SHE WAS IN VERONICA MARS?!" is a great example. He is pretending to be a fan of Kristen Bell while also pretending to be a fan of Veronica Mars, but not realizing that Kristen Bell is the fucking main character of the show. Or the constant fake laughing at everything anyone says. He's just kind of a phony and a suck-up.
mentioned it in another episode but he really is homer Simpson, tons of adventures getting more absurd, the turning point is when they're humiliating themselves with a bear for money, describes one of his kids as smart and one being just like him who doesn't do well in school, even has the high pitched teehee, tons of terrible life lessons from his dad, if burt started telling a story about having a crayon up his nose i'd believe him, has major life style changes that revert back to the status quo at the end of the episode/sober october.
So they could have definitely started this podcast two minutes later. Staring at Bert staring at his phone. What kind of inception hellscape of a podcast am I addicted to
I know this isn’t what we mean; but some history-Big Daddy Kane described that freestyles are any rap “free of style” so that can be written a as well.
Gracchus Babeuf thank you. My wife laughed at Bert’s special was snoozing through Tom’s special. My wife is a nitwit. But she is nice and beautiful. But Bert is a hack.
@@clintonleonard5187 it made me involuntarily twist my head around as if i was frantically looking around my room for something, as the embarrassment flowed through my entire being
Bert’s just like a HS teammate of mine, he didn’t believe in soap. He never used it, smelled bad, and had bad acne. He legit didn’t believe in soap. And no Bert, soap washes away microbes and stuff, because it’s the only thing that can trap lipids, fats, and any microbes with lipid bilayers, and washes them away. The gross stuff on your skin will stay there with water, because if you ever washed an oily pan, water doesn’t wash it off. Soap traps that grease and oil your skin produces, and the stuff trapped on it, and washes it all away.
Bear McHoneypots I’m itching at home, wanting to scream this at him. People; soap forms bonds with the oils on your skin that trap bacteria and washes them away. Antibacterial soap is unnecessary. God, Bert is a filthy pig
I've never seen a man who has so much confidence on subjects where he lacks any information or on things he's never done before. I can't tell if Bert was genuinely trying to sing or just having a stroke towards the end of the podcast xD
Bert has early onset dementia or something. Jesus Christ. He’s gonna be a mess when his ALS kicks in. He’s got that Lou Gehrig gene, not the Mickey Mantle gene.
Xanax is the mental date rape drug for all the millennials that can't seem to cope with "life".... as well as dude's in mid 40's that bodies are producing too much estrogen. Over weight titty men
Do you think it's actually getting worse? I honestly can't tell if he is getting worse or if my patience with him is getting worse because I have more exposure to him because of this podcast?
They always told me as a kid " shower before and after being in the pool" , I suspect a lot of his redness in the skin may actually come from not washing off pool chemicals and absorbing too much cleaner.
Working from home and listening to this podcast on my stereo instead of my earphones at my desk. Someone keeps banging something and my sub make me think car doors are being shut in my driveway giving me anxiety lol
Should've seen him when Adam Sandler popped into the live comedy stream from ATC... He said he couldn't wait to watch "Precious Gems" and his daughter loved "Happy Madison".
Bert: "I'm running a lot but not losing any weight Also Bert: "So im in my kitchen mixing a 5 gallon football team jug of Koolaid and Ill usually do it once or twice a day"
Never thought there could be anything worse than bert laughing, til I saw him watching and laughing at a recording of himself laughing. It's like podcasts with a bearded drunk 11 year old thats having micro-strokes constantly
Popothechinchilla yea this is about my 4th time tryna finish it. I think I’ve been overloaded, coz of him doing the podcast circuit for his special and watching them coz I like whatever podcasts he guested on. He seems super xanaxed up here
I periodically take Klonopin and it does have that weird forgetfulness state where you just absolutely don't remember yourself ever doing that. It's like weed also.
Damn Bert I set my alarms that exactt way and my gf will complain in the morning about how many I snooze then wake up on the dot like on the 5th one lmfao awesome shit love you guys
“I believe we’re providing a public service” YES YOU ARE and THANK YOU for it! I’m an army nurse doing covid response and let me just tell you; some dark times. THANK YOU for the podcast. Would be absolutely amazing to do more content because I’m burning through ALL of both of your content right now. Don’t know when I’ll see my kids again but at least I can watch you guys be hilarious.
Bert: "I hate it when celebrities get podcasts just to pay their mortgage" Conan: "I started this podcast to pay off the mortgage for my beach house" ...classic Conan
Conan is a good egg. A few years ago he started doing a podcast for TH-cam. It wasn’t a podcast, it was called “serious jibber jabber” the episode with jack white was ducking awesome.
@@tryitout-701 he should have given more opportunities to writers who didn't go to an Ivy or that were Jewish. Why is there so little diversity, and I say this as a Jew.
Ya know...I used to love Bert, I mean, I don't dislike him now but I would say that I'm just not as much of a fan as I used to be and that happened when I realized what an Alcoholic he really is. I lost my mother to alcoholism a couple years ago (liver/organ failure, and it way worse was than living through my father's death to a brain tumor a dozen years earlier). Knowing the behind the scenes of really gregarious alcoholics, knowing what Alcoholism really looks like at home, it just makes it hard for me to do anything but feel uncomfortable and sad when I watch him these days. Even the inability to get names right...that may not be dementia like some people think. People who drink all day do insane damage to their brains. My mother had the same problem, even with people she talk to and about daily (immediate family). My mother was also not convinced of her alcoholism until it was too late. Literally, one of the last things I remember her being able to say was something like "I guess I've really done it this time", as if the first few times in the hospital for related incidents weren't a clue. Watching someone in denial is painfully uncomfortable.
Bert “I think this has been one of the best episodes yet”
Everyone else: Did Bert have a stroke?
StarFoxN69 It’s from too much Xanax I think.
@@cultbender pretty much. Not sure if his doctor explained this to him but xanax works on the same receptors as alcohol and as such produces a similar effect. So while bert may be 10 (not 16) off alcohol he has not been 10 days sober
@@cultbender probably honestly. Xans fuck people up, and when you're in his situation you can get as much as you want from a doctor. I got addicted to xans right when I got to college, and I'm still missing months of memories. It's weird bc certain songs I listened to a lot during that time bring back memories. Honestly though, until bert starts slurring his words I think it's safe to say he's ok.
Tbh i really didn't like this episode and it is 100% Bert's fault
Not just a stroke, 4 strokes.
“I’m a huge Kirsten Bell fan”
*seconds later*
“SHE WAS IN VERONICA MARS?!?!?”
Bert's such an unbelievable idiot sometimes, it's hard to listen to him...probably the best podcast on the internet though.
She was in Forgetting Sarah Marshall!? --- If only there was a way to remember what her character's name was in that movie. Goddammit, Bert, I wanna like you, but you're making it so hard these days...
seriously? you and over 110 people couldn't see he was clearly joking?
i scroll down just to post this!!! how fucking good is Bert!
@@donmega2642 nope
i thoroughly love hearing the crew in the back ground laughing hysterically.
That's literally my favorite part of every episode +
Seems like they’re forcing it to me
I love when bert says something ridiculous and tom looks at folks off camera, smirks and shakes his head
I thought it was a laugh track my first time
Its the jew you're hearing
*Bert kills someone*
"It doesn't count it was with Rogan"
Are we sure this isn't the episodes where Ari drugged Bert
"Zach. Zaxh Zaxt Daxt Dax."
I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed he was off his rocker today
I wish the molly actually exploded his heart like LeeAnn pretends it did.
Looks like someone who took a ton of Xanax and did a line of blow to wake back up
Yeah too much Xanax will turn you into a Bert.
Bert should call the Guinness Book. This has got to be the longest stroke of all time.
Burnt should throw in the preverbial wet towel at this point & count the stacked cash he's burned so many out of... 🐈
Genuinely coughed so hard laughing I almost shit my pants.
I guarantee you would crack under the pressure of that dude's work ethic alone. Keep talking all your shit in comment sections.
@@sleepingninjaquiettime right homeless cats? he's got a killer work ethic, B. just come by the cawlmedy store to see it in akshun
@@Frostbitten. Talk ur shit guy, it's all you got.
Tom: "Have you ever had an STD"
Bert: "Of course"😂🤣
“I pre-wrote some freestyles.”
Ahhh cool so that’s how those work.
No rapper just makes it up on the spot. Only a few are that good.
Tay “no rapper” “only a few”
@@westropptay7388 Actually, a ton of rappers can freestyle
@@medotata5356 fool
@os terminal no rapper freestyles. The closest they get is doing what you said. If they try to actually freestyle they sound retarded. People that think famous rappers truly freestyle probably believe in magic.
“That’s why I’m not an alcoholic.”
-Bert Kreischer
Lmao an alcoholic is anyone who alcohol affects negatively but continues to drink.
@@eirik5568 nope that's an alcoholic in denial's definition. If you know alcohol is having a negative effect on your life and you continue to consume it despite this, you're an alcoholic
wisterV that doesn’t even make sense
Eirik Surname Yes. That’s Bert.
Kickasso wait? You literally just said what he did and told him his definition was wrong because he used less words. An alcoholic is an alcoholic. Bert is an alcoholic. He drinks every night in order to sleep... that’s enough there. And obviously he’ll lie about his amount of consumption, like an alcoholic. So like Bert, there’s the alcoholics that drink at some point everyday to get fucked up.. then you’ve got dependent alcoholics that need a drink to wake up. You can be an alcoholic, and not physically dependent. Lol
I haven’t watched this episode yet. But I bet Bert talks about himself a lot in it.
Uh-hundred percent
I cant wait!
How did you know!
Na
Andrew Reynolds does he talk about anything else ?!?! 😂 😂
Berts rapper name should be “Machine Gun Belly” 🤣
🤣🤣🤣lmaoo good one
I laugh literally every time Bert is talking in typical Bert fashion and Tom just kinda glances around with that smirk.
That Bert drinking game is going to kill someone
Probably bert
i feel like he has been playing the drinking game competitively since collage
It's already killing him. His brain is boring holes from his alcoholism.
@@MrSatyaloka to burnt reality Is the game.
My grandma says she watches this show for bert because he reminds her of the overt racism in her youth.
Mike love it👉🏻👉🏻👉🏻👉🏻👉🏻✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽🌮🌮🌮🌮
🤣
My Granny is into racism, too. It's pretty funny.
"I don't think any rapper talks about the travel channel" has me dying every time
It’s immensely frustrating to listen to bert denounce soap and actual showers. 😂
Debate over by simply asking to search the purpose of soap rather than the ingredients. wtf
I love him and he's hilarious , but hes the dumbest person in Hollywood "one hunnnnndred percent"
Okay so as soon as I heard the pool counts as a shower (& not the 1st time Bert has said it) I IMMEDIATELY went to the drinking game -
*new rule* - if Bert says anything about how the pool is same as shower EVERYONE has to guzzle their drink, hit pause on podcast & refill the drink and guzzle another (or at least 1/2 depending)
Bert trying to get Dax Shepard's name right is the most stressed out I've been since the shit went down
I had to smoke weed to not get angry
Berry Opener lucky. I had to strangle my dad’s new girlfriend’s dog
I tapped out of the whole podcast after that, and I’m the type of listener that plays all podcasts straight through. The worst 12 mins of audio I’ve ever been subjected to ever.
Ive never even heard of him and im amazed how much people care about this xD
Dan Anderson when he said Zax my soul left my body
Ep. 1 “Everyone is gonna hate us”
Ep. 24 “Is James Franco gonna hate us?”
DubsBrown so tru. They are like Howard stern. Trying to be corp funny now
@@grinch9817 oh okay thanks for letting us know
Rolling on the floor laughing so hard my whole body hurts watching tom’s face watching Burt sing
this is gonna be a tough round of Bertus Interruptus
Bert is like that sitcom character that starts to be written dumber and dumber as the show goes on, except it's his real life.
This is low key funny. Sorry Bert. You’re still the funniest personality.
Definitely. If he was acting they’d be like dial it back bud it’s not believable that anyone is this childish and dumb
Robert that’s what happens when you take Xanax! Haha
He might seem less dumb if wasn't trying to be so deceptive. "SHE WAS IN VERONICA MARS?!" is a great example. He is pretending to be a fan of Kristen Bell while also pretending to be a fan of Veronica Mars, but not realizing that Kristen Bell is the fucking main character of the show. Or the constant fake laughing at everything anyone says. He's just kind of a phony and a suck-up.
mentioned it in another episode but he really is homer Simpson, tons of adventures getting more absurd, the turning point is when they're humiliating themselves with a bear for money, describes one of his kids as smart and one being just like him who doesn't do well in school, even has the high pitched teehee, tons of terrible life lessons from his dad, if burt started telling a story about having a crayon up his nose i'd believe him,
has major life style changes that revert back to the status quo at the end of the episode/sober october.
"Who's Kristina?"
"And who's Zach?
LMAOO
No
He messes names up a lot. Just this past weekend he was livestreaming with adam Sandler and said he loved the movie happy Madison.
It took legit 3 minutes before he said their names right.
@@boboso4705 I think happy madison is the name of his movie company
@@alexanderjeromewhite2380 I think you're right, good point.
I picked the wrong episode to play after dropping acid this is wild
EDIT: I survived but totally forgot about this comment until now
Good vibes bro 🤙🤙
safe travels m8
Hope it went well man. Stay safe
Hope you went to the supermarket.
Gregg Wilding lmao this is the perfect episode bert is a mess
49:41
Tom: "Do we have to go yet?"
Even Tom doesn't want to be there
For being a professional public speaker, Bert's command over the english language is tenuous at best.
Filibuster
@@about99ninjas56 I bet he knows fuck all about bird law though
Tenuous even...
You should check out Brendan Schaub.
Well..... filibuster
So they could have definitely started this podcast two minutes later. Staring at Bert staring at his phone. What kind of inception hellscape of a podcast am I addicted to
Exactly why I like this podcast haha
He was watching a start of another podcast when he was also on the phone. 2 levels deep
Couldn’t agree more. This ep might be my last. Bert is such a fucking tiktok i can’t take it
Yeah, if it wasn’t for Tom I wouldn’t like this so much
Lucas McComb when
I really want to finish this, but I'm 5 minutes in and idk how much bert I can take.
dude, its not worth it. don't continue watching
Bail
Yup. It's rough
It's taken me days ngl
Yeah I give up too. 20 in and it’s getting worse. Tom has said like 3 words
"I pre wrote some freestyles.."
Well, there goes the whole freestyle aspect of it Bert.
let's be real, true freestyles are few and far between. People think of stuff beforehand
Burt should slay the five fingers of death lol
@@Karl_Marksman yea, I know man. I always thought Slug was legit, same with Del Tha Funky Hompsapien. It was just a face palm moment when I heard it.
I know this isn’t what we mean; but some history-Big Daddy Kane described that freestyles are any rap “free of style” so that can be written a as well.
Steve Fink freestyles can be written bro
Bert: Do you have a chest cold?
Tom: I have allergies and -
Bert: My allergies are so bad right now.
0j
Time for another drink lol: Bert interrupts someone
Poor Tom with allergies, geeE ze, Bert lay off.
7 mins in and Tom has COVID and Bert's having a stroke. Jesus lol.
Saka souffle
Andre Ibarra that basically sums up everyone of these podcasts.
And by 13:00 i wanted to punch bert
Bert’s lost his gawt damn mind
I love the person laughing their ass off in the distance
New drinking game: Drink every time Bert says "I", "Me", or "My
MrStardat people will be dead in the first 10 minutes
Might as well call an ambulance ahead of time.
The Kristina Bell and Zach Shepherd story was extremely painful and frustrating to hear.
He's a "huge fan" lol
I bet it's the latter
I understand cringe porn after that
He's been spending too much time with Larry King.
what's the time stamp i just started
You can almost hear Bert's synapses miss firing , he is a treasure.
He's funny because he's a clown, he's not a comedian.
@@rworded cool.
Gracchus Babeuf thank you. My wife laughed at Bert’s special was snoozing through Tom’s special. My wife is a nitwit. But she is nice and beautiful. But Bert is a hack.
Misfiring
Dr. Remulack your old
Dr. Drew really needs to intervene with Bert’s addiction problems... it’s gotten so bad
Zach Shepard
Kristina Bell
Ashton Coocher
John Wayne Scott
Pol Pat
Adolph Hitson
Jordan Stalin
Aston coocher
Massauge
Nightmere
Ben a-fleck
I'm pretty sure he called Dax, Zaxed
Did berts tongue get caught in his teeth? Jesus it’s like this guy couldn’t see what he was saying
Saka souffle!
To be fair he does have real shitty teeth 🤷🏽♂️
He went full Cajun this episode!
Xanax is a hell of a drug...
Does he drive himself to podcasts or does somebody drop him off? ;) y’know what I mean?
Wow, someone should've monitored Bert's alcohol detox, his brain is short wiring
Short wiring eh?
No the Xanax taking it’s place is far worse than alcohol
Holy fuck he's lost it hahaha
#BertHasTheDTs
@@titoortiz168 Yup exactly, he's been hard to watch.
The look on Tom’s face when Bert says he thinks this is the best episode they’ve ever had lmfao
Bert trying to gatekeep podcasting is the most Bert thing ever
I bet Bert's deleted tweets were reaaaaaal racist, also Tom telling Bert he's good at singing and rapping might be my new favorite thing.
😂 bert is definitely going to release an EP
“Arbeit macht frei!” -Bert Kresicher in his Hey Big Boy special
Xavier Cook he reminds me a bit of eichmann
More of a Göring vibe
I always thought of him in the same lane as Goebbels with his fanatical devotion to Adolf and being in “media.”
king G He‘s a mix of Görings look (fat) and Goebbels devotion
“I think it’s the latterrrr”
“you mean former”
Straight out of a Will Ferrell comedy 😂😂😂
“The black community is systematically destroying this country” - Bert Krunchwrap
Is Bert having a Stroke? This man's brain is short circuiting..
Withdrawals
too much xanax
Alcohol works as a preservative.
It's the xanax
What do you mean? Zack and Christina Bell are a great couple.
Bert's the guy that goes on American Idol and thinks he's amazing and doesn't understand why the judges shot him down.
Seriously, this singing bit is hard to watch.
@@clintonleonard5187 it made me involuntarily twist my head around as if i was frantically looking around my room for something, as the embarrassment flowed through my entire being
I've never wanted to hold a pillow on someone as much Bert during this episode. Zakks, Zack, Dash, Zaxx, Dazx, Dass, Zach right?! Damnit Bert!
I love how uncomfortable Tom is when Bert tries to get him to sing and rap
Bert’s just like a HS teammate of mine, he didn’t believe in soap. He never used it, smelled bad, and had bad acne. He legit didn’t believe in soap.
And no Bert, soap washes away microbes and stuff, because it’s the only thing that can trap lipids, fats, and any microbes with lipid bilayers, and washes them away. The gross stuff on your skin will stay there with water, because if you ever washed an oily pan, water doesn’t wash it off. Soap traps that grease and oil your skin produces, and the stuff trapped on it, and washes it all away.
#soapscience
Bear McHoneypots I’m itching at home, wanting to scream this at him. People; soap forms bonds with the oils on your skin that trap bacteria and washes them away. Antibacterial soap is unnecessary. God, Bert is a filthy pig
I feel personally attacked by this post but it’s so true.
Bert is fully Cajun.
Nobody can be this famous and not say something stupid...
Bert literally interrupts every chance he gets. Someone’s gonna get shitfaced !
Sammy Hernandez I don’t drink so I improvised the job I’ve been taking a .05 dab every time Burt interrupts. I’m about to pass out.
Andy Alcauter HOLY Fck loosen your pants they are to high and tight ! 😂
@@cia834 that's like...30grams of dabby doo.
You wanna get shitfaced ? Drink everytime he says "by the way..", good luck.
N H D Y Z for real every time he forgot what he was talking about I would just be like 😒🍺
I really missed Tom during this episode.
I've never seen a man who has so much confidence on subjects where he lacks any information or on things he's never done before. I can't tell if Bert was genuinely trying to sing or just having a stroke towards the end of the podcast xD
Reminds me of my father, if my father was an alcoholic
"thats why I'm not an alcoholic" THATS EXACTLY WHY ARE YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC
Yeah it kinda defeats the point if you have to say your not.
Bert has early onset dementia or something. Jesus Christ. He’s gonna be a mess when his ALS kicks in. He’s got that Lou Gehrig gene, not the Mickey Mantle gene.
Dr. Remulack It’s from too much Xanax.
Colt Bender good to know, I was thinking of trying Xanax hearing them describe it.
I’m fucking dying at the Lou Gehrig gene. Holy shit.
Xanax is the mental date rape drug for all the millennials that can't seem to cope with "life"....
as well as dude's in mid 40's that bodies are producing too much estrogen. Over weight titty men
someone needs to show him the studies that show gum disease can lead to alzheimers
Nobody:
Not a single soul:
Bart: “I got fired from the travel channel”
Stale meme bro
Tyler Lemm Burnt doesn’t care if it’s stale, he’ll eat it anyway
“What’s the girl that dated Pete Davidson”
That is the first time anyone has ever said that lmao
I love that Bert has the most blind confidence ive ever seen.
Cad Chamberlain xans.
SHE WAS IN VERONICA MARS?!?!?!
Bert she was Veronica Mars
Does anyone honestly get legitimately annoyed when Bert tries to defend not showering with soap
Nick Wheeler nah nick we don’t have anger issues
How about watching bert try to figure out Twitter for 3 minutes on the open? Fuck me lol
nope cuz im here as a fan and if i wasnt enjoying it then i would just leave and not spend my time writing a comment about being annoyed
First story in and I'm already drunk, "Zak, Zaks, Daks ...what story are you telling?"
It was kinda hard getting through the 7 strokes Burnt Krishna had
I think Bert might reach full cool guy status within a year if someone doesn’t intervene.
you mean if he keeps suckling his famous buddies nut sacks...
Feel sorry story of the year
Yeah, it's all starting to get too real and not funny at all... This man needs help.
I'm worried
Do you think it's actually getting worse? I honestly can't tell if he is getting worse or if my patience with him is getting worse because I have more exposure to him because of this podcast?
@@Sean-dp9pv I think it's both
Bert trying to sing, then rap is priceless😂😂😂
Poor man is suffering from severe drug addiction. I hope someone close to him realizes before its too late.
“I’m not an alcoholic” he says as withdrawals are making him Tik-Tarded, and has a timer of sober days on his phone.
But he definitely hasn't had a drink in 16 days, minus that one time 10 days ago.
Cringey episode.. Hey, Burns Krishner, you are your biggest fan, huh?
Brett is drunk and slurring on this pomcast mommy
He's on blood pressure medicine because he's an alcoholic. Trust me, whenever I quit drinking my bp drops to the floor after a few weeks.
Worst part about the lockdown is having to deal with Bert to get Tom content...
pocketrudeboy I was thinking the same thing the other day because I love bill burr but Jesus this dude is annoying.
They always told me as a kid " shower before and after being in the pool" , I suspect a lot of his redness in the skin may actually come from not washing off pool chemicals and absorbing too much cleaner.
Then Wouldn’t it be better not to shower before the pool to have a later of dirt and grease over your skin
Bert "I'm a huge fan of people whose names I can't remember" Kreischer
He's a fan of everyone more famous than he is.
Kiei Luahi oh everyone
Zaxt Shepherd...wait Daxt
Burnt "who?" Chrysler
You
Jesus, Bert is exhausting. I was hoping this episode would be a precious gem
Ended up being more like Happy Madison
That's what it is... I couldnt understand that I LITERALLY feel something different when Bert talks... You're right, he is so exhausting
^Pun game going unappreciated
Working from home and listening to this podcast on my stereo instead of my earphones at my desk. Someone keeps banging something and my sub make me think car doors are being shut in my driveway giving me anxiety lol
Bert tells the shaving Tom's chest yet again. 'Three stories Bert'.
After watching this episode, I’m convinced Larry King is more coherent than Bert.
sakkasouffle
kjcorder mark womp-wall-wowl-walhberg
Wandows95 his tongue got caught in his teeth he could not see what he was saying
I have never laughed harder than when Tom started rapping berts freestyle. That was absolutely amazing
With all the "I'm a huge fan!" stuff, Bert is like a fatter, almost as drunk version of Jimmy Fallon
Almost as drunk hahaha
He's definitely funnier, but that only means as much as you want it to mean
Should've seen him when Adam Sandler popped into the live comedy stream from ATC...
He said he couldn't wait to watch "Precious Gems" and his daughter loved "Happy Madison".
thelundquist I hope he lives to see his daughters get married.
Bert: "I'm running a lot but not losing any weight
Also Bert: "So im in my kitchen mixing a 5 gallon football team jug of Koolaid and Ill usually do it once or twice a day"
Never thought there could be anything worse than bert laughing, til I saw him watching and laughing at a recording of himself laughing. It's like podcasts with a bearded drunk 11 year old thats having micro-strokes constantly
Bert is so a bearded drunk 11 year old. Girl.
Bert says he's a huge Kristin Bell fan, but is surprised she was in Veronica Mars... She was literally the title character 🤦♂️😂😂😂😂😂
He LOOOVES everything but it’s just bullshit
He's such a big fan he doesn't even know her name...
Toms laugh at "I'm not an alcoholic" made me spit my food
Bert Franticly : "She Was In Veronica Mars"
Me: Dying! 🤣
Bert has his only Larry King moment trying to pronounce Dax Shepard’s name
Is this the first episode that didn't start right after Bert said something horribly offensive off-camera?
L3SSTH4NL33T they had to cut it out it was so bad. The racist bastard
He was to preoccupied w/his own (fake) penis, to say ANYTHING intelligible 😆
Tom did mention something about Bert saying Araaaab. 🤦🏻♂️
Nah, some of the early ones, Tom didnt do it to catch Bert by surprise. I think today is an exception cause Bert was talking to himself
I know fucking llllaaaammmmmeeee, shoulda followed proto BUD
bert: i'm a little bit of a podcast snob. *falls outta chair when someone says the r word*
It's funny that Brent thinks this is his podcast but really all the viewers are here for Tom. He seemed extra saka souffle this week
Popothechinchilla yea this is about my 4th time tryna finish it. I think I’ve been overloaded, coz of him doing the podcast circuit for his special and watching them coz I like whatever podcasts he guested on. He seems super xanaxed up here
Bert is what happens when a special needs kid gets his first phone... sheer excitement and confusion all at the same time
Really nice of Tom to edit out all of Brent's racist comments at the beginning this time...
Brad Rys lmao
Yeah I was expecting the usual, but the fact that Burnt was able to keep his seething racism simmering under the surface really surprised me
Bert is in that weird, foggy, forgetful state after being on Xanax too much.
Colt Bender called it. Xanover.
Exactly what I said. Xanax hangover gets kicked back in to full strength when you wake and bake
I periodically take Klonopin and it does have that weird forgetfulness state where you just absolutely don't remember yourself ever doing that. It's like weed also.
Damn Bert I set my alarms that exactt way and my gf will complain in the morning about how many I snooze then wake up on the dot like on the 5th one lmfao awesome shit love you guys
“I believe we’re providing a public service” YES YOU ARE and THANK YOU for it! I’m an army nurse doing covid response and let me just tell you; some dark times. THANK YOU for the podcast. Would be absolutely amazing to do more content because I’m burning through ALL of both of your content right now. Don’t know when I’ll see my kids again but at least I can watch you guys be hilarious.
“Would you rather be able to sing or dance?” Well Toms been dancing for 37 years
Tom "grown up talk, business talk" Burt " SQUIRREL" LMAO
I fuckn love you guys!
"She was in Veronica Mars??!!"
Yeah...she was in it...a few times.
"Oh yeah she was in Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
She was the titular character in 2 of the top "Known For" entries on iMDB and Bert was blown away..
Bert: "I hate it when celebrities get podcasts just to pay their mortgage"
Conan: "I started this podcast to pay off the mortgage for my beach house"
...classic Conan
Tito Liebowitz hahaha
Conan is a good egg. A few years ago he started doing a podcast for TH-cam. It wasn’t a podcast, it was called “serious jibber jabber” the episode with jack white was ducking awesome.
@@tryitout-701 I Wish he continued those. They were great. His first taste of a 'talking shop' show for him
@@tryitout-701 he should have given more opportunities to writers who didn't go to an Ivy or that were Jewish. Why is there so little diversity, and I say this as a Jew.
@@rsmith7195 You got a source for that? Also, you saying "I say this as Jew" means nothing. Give us evidence not your background history.
The fucking freestyles KILLED ME. Really needed this 🤣
24:53 Bert: I don't know if I would snitch. I would be super terrible at that
30 seconds later
Bert: I would snitch so fast...
Bert definitely has the bars, but I'm talking Benzos...
swear bros been barred out this whole quarantine
Yeah Zack. For sure.
@@solidtank7957 *Daxt
"Thats why im not an alcoholic cause" - instantaneous hilarious laughter
Ya know...I used to love Bert, I mean, I don't dislike him now but I would say that I'm just not as much of a fan as I used to be and that happened when I realized what an Alcoholic he really is. I lost my mother to alcoholism a couple years ago (liver/organ failure, and it way worse was than living through my father's death to a brain tumor a dozen years earlier). Knowing the behind the scenes of really gregarious alcoholics, knowing what Alcoholism really looks like at home, it just makes it hard for me to do anything but feel uncomfortable and sad when I watch him these days. Even the inability to get names right...that may not be dementia like some people think. People who drink all day do insane damage to their brains. My mother had the same problem, even with people she talk to and about daily (immediate family). My mother was also not convinced of her alcoholism until it was too late. Literally, one of the last things I remember her being able to say was something like "I guess I've really done it this time", as if the first few times in the hospital for related incidents weren't a clue. Watching someone in denial is painfully uncomfortable.
Bro I’m at the freestyles omg I can’t stop laughing 😭😭😭
tom's inner WUTANG is trying really hard to reach across and smack bert for disrespecting the craft
Watching Bart try to get names correct is giving me anxiety
Try to laugh sometime
Zaxt and Christina?
"That's why I'm not an alcoholic" Jesus Bert
Holy shit, seizures are a symptom of alcohol withdrawal! Bert's not having little strokes, he's gone 48 hours without a bottle of Vodka