Ep. 42 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 2.9K

  • @NickWalkerWilliamson
    @NickWalkerWilliamson 4 ปีที่แล้ว +748

    “I’m eloquent” might be Bert’s funniest delusion yet

    • @Madagon367
      @Madagon367 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      True but then we can also be 100% sure that he only 'kind of' knows what it actually means. So who knows what he really means when he says he's eloquent.

    • @anthonybowman6594
      @anthonybowman6594 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Ahh hundred percent

    • @oo7799
      @oo7799 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@Madagon367 I think he means what it sounds like, he's a massively delusional narcissist

    • @cfrenchfrye
      @cfrenchfrye 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      i still can’t get over “the kool aid doesn’t affect my inability to lose weight”

    • @nicholasnixon1311
      @nicholasnixon1311 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      "very eloquent"

  • @HnTr_VDH
    @HnTr_VDH 4 ปีที่แล้ว +319

    Bret and Lee Ann truly have a Homer/Marge relationship

    • @jakebaker4066
      @jakebaker4066 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      “Oooohh Hommeey”

    • @SodaGG
      @SodaGG 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Well... Homer showers in the shower and even if he half asses it he does the things marge asks for instead of having an emotional breakdown like bert XD Also I'm pretty sure he flushes his shits instead of letting them sit in the toilet just cuz he's such a creative genius he doesn't have the time or mind space to flush...

    • @HnTr_VDH
      @HnTr_VDH 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Not Mick Blotters yes, but ultimately lacks the empathy to respect her or his kids lol

  • @Sujjin21
    @Sujjin21 4 ปีที่แล้ว +668

    I miss Tom's ridiculous intro lines.
    "You can't just say all Jews are weak"

    • @rayneweber7636
      @rayneweber7636 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Damn... Made me laugh

    • @McShane1996
      @McShane1996 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yeah I always looked forward to those 😞

    • @deanfranz
      @deanfranz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      "You said he was one of the sneaky ones that survived!"

    • @VideoNozoki
      @VideoNozoki 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      "Black History Month has already been decided, you can't vote on it!"

    • @MrAustyn88
      @MrAustyn88 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      When did Bert stop being racist exactly? I know he was worried about that gag hurting his reputation, but when/how was it changed to dog fucker?

  • @sadboijokes
    @sadboijokes 4 ปีที่แล้ว +703

    Watching Tom destabilize Burnt’s marriage is simply fascinating

    • @BeastFueled
      @BeastFueled 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      They’re both named Brett. Ask Warren Sapp.

    • @dreadedkitty980
      @dreadedkitty980 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Yeah. He must mean Brett and Brett.

    • @kylerashby1997
      @kylerashby1997 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Don’t you mean Bret?

    • @luketesoriero2338
      @luketesoriero2338 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      British character Lisle is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard Bert Say

    • @luketesoriero2338
      @luketesoriero2338 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Hahaha

  • @michellerivera7233
    @michellerivera7233 4 ปีที่แล้ว +352

    Pitch for new show: Send Bert to Europe with $100 to his name and he has to hustle and entertain people and get free stuff like he used to do. I'd subscribe to that!

    • @tj2726
      @tj2726 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      @thatguy 00 According to your recent comments on this channel, 2 weeks ago you said on an episode of Your Moms House, and I quote, "If I had $10 to spare I'd gladly use it to watch the live podcast 😩"... So I think you should probably let the lady know that Europe is definitely off the table. Wouldn't want to get her hopes up for nothing now, would we? It's okay though, we'll just keep this between us guys... and the entire TH-cam community. It's not like anything's permanent on the internet anyway, amirite? Hahahahahahahahahahaha

    • @dagingerdude
      @dagingerdude 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @thatguy 00 he put out a rod with bait on it and you bit. congrats, you lose.

    • @SodaGG
      @SodaGG 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@tj2726 god damn man you destroyed thatguy 00 XD

    • @lornekoch5301
      @lornekoch5301 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Flex Johnson reading you shut this man down was even funnier than this podcast 😂😂😂

    • @Warren517
      @Warren517 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is an AMAZING idea

  • @robertwright8306
    @robertwright8306 4 ปีที่แล้ว +460

    I love Tom's "Jim" moments when he looks at the camera after Bart says something interesting lol

    • @gavin3434
      @gavin3434 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Robert Wright his name is Brett

    • @shanestephens4728
      @shanestephens4728 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      We call those “Tim moments” 🎸🎸

    • @TheIgnorantAlecTani
      @TheIgnorantAlecTani 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I thought it was Brent?

    • @gavin3434
      @gavin3434 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@TheIgnorantAlecTani hahahahahahahahahahahaha

    • @gsommerfeldt
      @gsommerfeldt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Nonono. Its Brrrrkt Ksiiblr.

  • @Fireguy716
    @Fireguy716 4 ปีที่แล้ว +329

    Bert: I could move to nawlins. Tom: Flashes back to his opinion of swamp people "I can see you living there"

    • @madmonky
      @madmonky 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Brett should just continue bathing in his pool till it turns into his own swamp

    • @AmandaBurns14
      @AmandaBurns14 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Damn Cajuns 😆

    • @Gigachad45749
      @Gigachad45749 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'd love for brent to move to new Orleans, I'd have an actual reason to drive over there

    • @santadog9
      @santadog9 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bert would be found dead in a Canal within a year of moving there.

  • @ProxyAddress
    @ProxyAddress 4 ปีที่แล้ว +490

    Bert "crescending" Kreischer
    Bert "vunerable" Kreischer
    Bert "nightmere" Kreischer
    Bert the Eloquent

    • @jenniferdennis6465
      @jenniferdennis6465 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Crescending!! LOL Read this as it happened. Ohh, Bert.

    • @taLLdavidproduction
      @taLLdavidproduction 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Brent the Foul

    • @smashin
      @smashin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Don't you love watching a grown man learn how to speak every week?

    • @KrimsonApoLLo
      @KrimsonApoLLo 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@smashin LOL

    • @charlesridgway216
      @charlesridgway216 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Can't believe Tom didn't point out crescending

  • @MNewsTime
    @MNewsTime 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Bert is literally my favorite person to listen to, he makes me feel like I’m not a POS

    • @ItsWhatILike77
      @ItsWhatILike77 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Might need a better litmus test

  • @xironedgex77
    @xironedgex77 4 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    "She's not going anywhere, she's got nowhere to go" - Bernt Crystals flexing that Garth energy.

    • @mimigiggles4199
      @mimigiggles4199 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      How many divorced men said that before the papers showed up?

    • @LpJunior537
      @LpJunior537 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@mimigiggles4199 unless he got a pre nup, she has plenty of places to go after she gets all his money.

  • @0319T
    @0319T 4 ปีที่แล้ว +363

    Tom has a coffee and water next to him. Bert has a coffee, a Red Bull, a Diet Coke and a half gallon of kool-aid haha.

    • @iwanttoliveinthewoods
      @iwanttoliveinthewoods 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      🤣

    • @smoovegutierrez541
      @smoovegutierrez541 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Priorities terry!

    • @rutgerjansen
      @rutgerjansen 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hahaha came here to post this

    • @loawtf
      @loawtf 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I was just texting this to a friend lol

    • @masterdude420
      @masterdude420 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      That's what a real alcoholic does. Thinks his problems can be solved through the drink.

  • @alonsostange1
    @alonsostange1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +701

    If someone asked me what brent isn't, i would say eloquent.

    • @Cyxz666
      @Cyxz666 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      He is the literal antithesis of eloquent.

    • @supernovamimosa
      @supernovamimosa 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      fr hes getting more and more delusional

    • @hollowice999
      @hollowice999 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      If someone asked me what Bart isn’t, I would also say “nice smelling”

    • @dubie620
      @dubie620 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      2:50 he says the (not a)word “crescending”

    • @jonathon6756
      @jonathon6756 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Agenda In Mind dude what

  • @anthonyyyy2858
    @anthonyyyy2858 4 ปีที่แล้ว +748

    The show should be called "1 Bear watches another bear talk himself into a hole"

    • @glendohms9446
      @glendohms9446 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      it just never stops...

    • @Z-pizzle23
      @Z-pizzle23 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That's what this show has become about the most lol everyone watches to see what fucky stuff burt does in his day to day life 😂😂

    • @PillGillis
      @PillGillis 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      2 bears 1 speaker phone

    • @jtreid0907
      @jtreid0907 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Tommy knew what he was doing when he pitched this idea to Burnt Krystals, he knew all he had to do was just sit there and let Brett talk for an hour+ and say the most nightmeerish things

    • @Jr.BaconCheese
      @Jr.BaconCheese 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I think of it like fishing. Tom keeps casting the line and bert keeps eating the bait And it just repeats.

  • @jackjenkins5160
    @jackjenkins5160 4 ปีที่แล้ว +423

    So Bert has an Iced Coffee, Red Bull, Diet Coke, and half gallon of Kool-Aid.

    • @GoldenGod69
      @GoldenGod69 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Atleast its diet coke

    • @guywithalltheanswers6942
      @guywithalltheanswers6942 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Trying to get advertisers while they say faggot repeatedly

    • @iDunked
      @iDunked 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Oh my😂

    • @bradrock7540
      @bradrock7540 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      These are the things I used to miss just listening to the podcasts. While he says, I can probably do 40 pushups 🤣

    • @J.W.Brogan
      @J.W.Brogan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      No way, look at Bert. There's no way he looks like that and drinks a half gallon of Kool-Aid...it's gotta be a full gallon

  • @sirwhodison
    @sirwhodison 4 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    "Crescending by age" lmao burt needs to stop acting like he knows words

  • @gpina4886
    @gpina4886 4 ปีที่แล้ว +356

    Brent's British guy was born and raised in the Australian outback.

    • @Le_Petomane
      @Le_Petomane 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Nah, its just brain damage.

    • @StephenKyle91
      @StephenKyle91 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Oi oi oi ‘ear ‘em out mate, ee’s got uh point

    • @Nick-ds6oc
      @Nick-ds6oc 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      I've heard Bert attempt hundreds of accents at this point and out of all of them this one actually wasn't that bad.

    • @brianstewart78
      @brianstewart78 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      you read my mind lol

    • @MarlowWhere
      @MarlowWhere 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Le_Petomane its a bit in and out. Definitely brain damage.

  • @ev3835
    @ev3835 4 ปีที่แล้ว +151

    Bert talks about his wife like someone talking about a neighbors dog that he sometimes pets...

    • @parkermacinnis3977
      @parkermacinnis3977 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Considering what he does to the neighbor dogs, that's saying something!

    • @shoonger001
      @shoonger001 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      "i like her mouth" bret

    • @NickenChuggetsX
      @NickenChuggetsX 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I bet that dog gets more love and affection though...

  • @hettel_visual
    @hettel_visual 4 ปีที่แล้ว +336

    Does Bert ever just "ask a question" without eagerly waiting to answer his own question in his ongoing interview of himself?

  • @For_The_Watch
    @For_The_Watch 4 ปีที่แล้ว +290

    It’s gonna be really cool to look back at this episode and say “this is when LeeAnn decided on the divorce”

    • @jeremiahthompson2621
      @jeremiahthompson2621 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      For real bro

    • @SuperHoneyOil
      @SuperHoneyOil 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      No she'll wait until the girls are older and done with school. Thats why they wouldn't move. She has friends locally, so do his daughters. Bert will drink himself to death. He'll stay on the road drinking a ton and neglecting himself, and he'll die at 65 with cirrhosis and she'll have he millions. She grew up without shoes. She invested in Bert. Bert is her mutual fund. She makes that boy a man. Without her controlling the finances, it wouldn't of worked. She's a poor rural kid, who is now a millionaire. She's in for the long haul, but I could see Bert living in a different area or on the bus bc of her adding conditionals like no drinking if he wants to stay with the kids at the house.

    • @rcannin
      @rcannin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@SuperHoneyOil godamn that was dark

    • @SuperHoneyOil
      @SuperHoneyOil 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@rcannin Berts brand is dark. I know he gets shit on, but he really is a decent stand up. His brand is justifying alcoholism to 20-30 overweight guys. He's the Jimmy Buffet of our generation. For some its a fun phase, but its really dark up close. Like when Tom asked Bert his dream life, and he didn't even consider his wife and kids, nor were they part of his life. He's incredibly narcissistic, his wife loosing weight is an attack on him. Everything is about Bert, and Bert's brand is alcohol/frat/oktobefat and it will kill him.

    • @For_The_Watch
      @For_The_Watch 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      TK 👿 well damn bro I was just kidding. Sorry if you read this Brett

  • @MrCDawggg
    @MrCDawggg 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    41:15 haha the way Brent calls for “Lyle” while Leanne rips him to shreds.

  • @ngfred77
    @ngfred77 4 ปีที่แล้ว +167

    I refreshed TH-cam at the perfect time

    • @johnqpublic2718
      @johnqpublic2718 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Me too, keep featherin it, Brother! Now where's my dog....

    • @selec2
      @selec2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Uhh a hundred percent

    • @mattnara4917
      @mattnara4917 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same here lol

    • @ellmuffin
      @ellmuffin 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      12 o’ clock exactly

    • @luisalejandrosierra5476
      @luisalejandrosierra5476 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Every Monday is a treat no matter what, when you hear these two

  • @Rezzito
    @Rezzito 4 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    Bert coming out the gate sounding like an absolute tok.

  • @TDOLLA
    @TDOLLA 4 ปีที่แล้ว +124

    I wish Bert would talk about himself more

    • @bobbylee3863
      @bobbylee3863 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Have you not listened to every podcast he's ever been on!?🤣

    • @jsilla2951
      @jsilla2951 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Can we get rid of idiots like this^

    • @jimbosliceatlanta
      @jimbosliceatlanta 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I love Bert’s episodes are label “(insert comic) & ME” - it’s proper grammar but FOH, Brent

    • @novacat6764
      @novacat6764 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Why do I feel like this is Bert..

  • @pimpin8216
    @pimpin8216 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Dude i love hearing stories about Tosh. I swear never get enough of his content and comedy. Great to get these little tid bits

    • @andodezi3643
      @andodezi3643 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I really want him to appear on YMH but he never does stuff like that :/

    • @LegacyFlash15
      @LegacyFlash15 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Maybe go watch clips of him then? Kind of weird to be hanging on him in a 2B1C episode..

  • @tannerc3223
    @tannerc3223 4 ปีที่แล้ว +161

    So bert ACTUALLY did 45 push-ups once in front of his friends, then told the story and it became 65.....then 80......then 120.....now it’s a comfortable 100.....

    • @ZChoate
      @ZChoate 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      he sounds just like Mencia when he talks about being called "The Punisher"

    • @Baram1950
      @Baram1950 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      No doubt about it.

    • @sydurgraham7760
      @sydurgraham7760 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I guarantee he can barely put up 135 let alone 225 lmao

    • @BXBZ88
      @BXBZ88 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Uhhhhh....... 100 percent.

    • @skybreed4494
      @skybreed4494 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Let's see your form Brent Christmas!

  • @randonolso
    @randonolso 4 ปีที่แล้ว +201

    Bert likes his dogs like he likes his kool aid, vulnerable.

    • @sailguns9332
      @sailguns9332 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      "Vunrable"*

    • @lowek7773
      @lowek7773 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      don't steal jokes bro

    • @boofert.washington2499
      @boofert.washington2499 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@lowek7773 what I don't understand is how Kool-Aid is vulnerable. What's vulnerable about it?

    • @VideoNozoki
      @VideoNozoki 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Bert likes his dogs like he likes his kool-aid, leaving a red ring around his mouth.

    • @lowek7773
      @lowek7773 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      he stole the good half

  • @kruger14
    @kruger14 4 ปีที่แล้ว +325

    Based off this podcast, I can't imagine how many people Bert must drunk dial when he's out drinking

    • @lukasek2311
      @lukasek2311 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      For real though 😂

    • @matguerra333
      @matguerra333 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      100 percent of people

    • @davidfordcooper
      @davidfordcooper 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Please go to key west and get a baller golf cart.

    • @crisisactor420
      @crisisactor420 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      It must take a lot of patience to be his friend

    • @For_The_Watch
      @For_The_Watch 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Mat Guerra do you mean “uh-hundred percent”? 😂😂

  • @michaelkok7574
    @michaelkok7574 4 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    “I’ve never been a big drinker and driver” an all-time burnt quote.

  • @britishcodfish1472
    @britishcodfish1472 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    “I’m very eloquent”
    *Proceeds to be an ineloquent buffoon*

    • @BXBZ88
      @BXBZ88 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He is the MAN.......The man who eats his own boogers

  • @ejcommons5993
    @ejcommons5993 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    I can’t believe this show started with Bert saying “I’m so eloquent”

  • @Revolution1117
    @Revolution1117 4 ปีที่แล้ว +137

    Tom: "I think Gervais would like you because you'd remind him of Karl Pilkington". Went right over Burnt's head. LOL!

    • @jawk2313
      @jawk2313 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Oh He's done ya there, PLAY A RECORD!

    • @nicholasnixon1311
      @nicholasnixon1311 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Over mine too, care to explain?

    • @canyoudothat2375
      @canyoudothat2375 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@nicholasnixon1311 hes one of gervais friend, did a tv show together called an idiot aborad. look up a few clips and youll understand

    • @Revolution1117
      @Revolution1117 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@nicholasnixon1311 Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington also had a radio show & have a ton of podcasts on YT. Karl's an "interesting" guy to say the least. Good laughs.

    • @McCandlessMike
      @McCandlessMike 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@Revolution1117 I know my favorite convos was when they talked about CV radios. "How many candles yah burnin'?"

  • @mattmccarthy8004
    @mattmccarthy8004 4 ปีที่แล้ว +156

    “It sounds like a Hate Crime but it’s really a recipe”

    • @sanchopanza9788
      @sanchopanza9788 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Aunt Myrna's recipe came to my mind at that moment

    • @givenchycode8439
      @givenchycode8439 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If Bert was still racist someone would probably use that soundbite

  • @StephenKyle91
    @StephenKyle91 4 ปีที่แล้ว +300

    I’m drowning like a Garth Brooks victim with all these ads

    • @youngAmills
      @youngAmills 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Gotta get that Chrome ad-block extension. It's free!

    • @yakuza73117
      @yakuza73117 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Damn. I made the same comment but it wasn’t funny like this. Need to pull my jeans up.

    • @hektordelarge1364
      @hektordelarge1364 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ha..........

    • @MannyAguilarJr
      @MannyAguilarJr 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      No kidding. RIP

    • @scottycarreiro9147
      @scottycarreiro9147 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Slide video to the end and hit the replay button problem solved only watch 1 AD

  • @nopenohandleforme
    @nopenohandleforme 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Remember when Dr Drew said that unless Bert goes completely sober, he will eventually spiral back into completely boozing up everyday (like all the other addicts he's treated)? Haven't heard him say he's "X days sober" in a while

  • @maltakthefirelord
    @maltakthefirelord 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    37:08 LeeAnn telling Tom that Bert needs to drink more water and he starts reaching towards his Kool-Aid as she calls him out on it is amazing.

  • @hiderrsupbrah23
    @hiderrsupbrah23 4 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    Bert started crying for Lyle when his wife was roasting him and I started dying

  • @seandugan4184
    @seandugan4184 4 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    Jennifer Aniston watching from witness protection “for safety”

  • @josephlittlefield2313
    @josephlittlefield2313 4 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    $100 Christina diagnoses Bert with multiple personality disorder after she sees Lyle

    • @dustygaming2127
      @dustygaming2127 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      She does have a therapist and by having that therapist makes her a therapist

    • @josephlittlefield2313
      @josephlittlefield2313 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Dustygaming a therapist learns from their patients through experience. So, if you think about it, she’s basically a professor of psychology.

    • @hay7501
      @hay7501 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      She knows a therapist and a tv doctor, she’s qualified.

    • @johnherring450
      @johnherring450 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      And he's on the spectrum like she is 🙄 she went on a run where that's all she said on podcasts. Got sick of hearing that shit.

    • @josephlittlefield2313
      @josephlittlefield2313 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      John Herring it seemed like Tom was annoyed with it too.

  • @snubsnab8022
    @snubsnab8022 4 ปีที่แล้ว +102

    This should be renamed to “Tom listens to Bert for an hour - podcast”

    • @katie4680
      @katie4680 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Lmaooo he hypes Bert up. I feel like he just wants to see how far he can get Bert to talk about stupid shit every podcast

    • @Bigsloppy17
      @Bigsloppy17 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      katie yuuuup, you can see the excitement in his eyes when he gets Bret rilled up on something

    • @BXBZ88
      @BXBZ88 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Tom ...... The crazy enabler.

  • @loaditz
    @loaditz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Them calling Cam'ron reminds me of being a teen in the 90s and calling girls I liked and trying to act cool over the phone

  • @caseyhelton8772
    @caseyhelton8772 4 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    New 2 bears drinking game rule: count how many times Bert says “I” in the first five minutes and that’s how many beers you have to drink before the podcast ends.

    • @samhoffrichter5072
      @samhoffrichter5072 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Are you trying to murder people with alcohol poisoning?

    • @Slimeq
      @Slimeq 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      353 Beers 1 Cave

    • @caseyhelton8772
      @caseyhelton8772 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Alright let’s say first 2 minutes lmao

  • @HarrisonNevel
    @HarrisonNevel 4 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    The best part of Mondays

    • @LilSnooze
      @LilSnooze 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sup bro🌎

    • @cosmicXreptile
      @cosmicXreptile 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Idk man I fucking can't stand Bert Kreischer anymore.

    • @tobyscustoms4813
      @tobyscustoms4813 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Storror

    • @jeremewilson4690
      @jeremewilson4690 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I have my moments. Bret can be to much at times.

    • @senoritaquack
      @senoritaquack 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      It really is. Listening to them has helped my depression so much.

  • @shardhoney
    @shardhoney 4 ปีที่แล้ว +101

    Bert not being able to spell 'vulnerable' is about what I expect from someone who drinks a gallon of Kool Aid everyday.
    Vulnerable is also how Bert likes his dogs.

    • @vincenthucknall7175
      @vincenthucknall7175 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Goddamn I love these

    • @JR-rz1br
      @JR-rz1br 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      It's a real nightmere.

    • @shardhoney
      @shardhoney 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@JR-rz1br Uhh-hundred percent lmao

    • @jakeballou5147
      @jakeballou5147 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      What ??

    • @shardhoney
      @shardhoney 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@jakeballou5147 you must be from Louisiana

  • @jrbickers
    @jrbickers 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    bret wants a fit body. but he also doesn't want to control his diet. with a current diagnosis of fatty liver. I see nothing wrong with this.

  • @lyledeporiss5937
    @lyledeporiss5937 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Man Bert's fucking awesome. No matter how much his success can go to his head sometimes as he puts it, he's still a kid at heart and he get's giddy like any of us would over someone who we're fans of

  • @thosearepinklemons
    @thosearepinklemons 4 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    Bert is pissed at his wife for LOSING weight and throwing away clothes that don't fit because he GAINED weight and kept his skinny clothes. That's Bert logic for ya.

  • @GymAndSun
    @GymAndSun 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    "Hulk Hogan shows up, he's like, hey, The Machine! I'm like hey how it's going, Hulkster" 😂
    Bert is every 10 year old boy

    • @MrKilligan
      @MrKilligan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He's definitely a 50 year old in the mind of a 10 year old. Otherwise, would he care so much about smelling his own shit and running faster than all of the other kids.

    • @imuncomfbecuzihavsubsandno4371
      @imuncomfbecuzihavsubsandno4371 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hulk became bert’s hero after the sex tape

    • @stephenspieker9433
      @stephenspieker9433 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I met Hulk Hogan during the height of Hulkamania. I was on a BMX bike on Ocean Avenue in Venice. His bicep was the same size as my head. I was 6'5" 220 lbs., but he was legit huge. To this day the only guy to ever call me "lil hulkster".He told me to keep drinking milk and to take my vitamins.

  • @Red98
    @Red98 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Every week is Tom interviewing Bert

  • @springfieldhockey07
    @springfieldhockey07 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Bart 100% got so hurt when Fazon said "Who?" right after he got done telling Tom how amazing him and Christina are on YMH

  • @IllaSooks
    @IllaSooks 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Did Bert just break the record for most Lies told in a podcast ?????

  • @ARKHAMxMaverick
    @ARKHAMxMaverick 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I love how Tom just sits back quietly and lets Bert talk himself into a corner.

  • @Nick-ds6oc
    @Nick-ds6oc 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    If Bert and Tom go to Wyoming, I'll feel really bad for Bert's horse.

  • @LoserGuy69
    @LoserGuy69 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    Burt literally captured exactly what Portland is. Too accurate.

    • @elijahownsall
      @elijahownsall 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@KyleBGanger splinter cell?

    • @neillum936
      @neillum936 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      q

    • @neillum936
      @neillum936 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      q

    • @neillum936
      @neillum936 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@elijahownsall q+Qq

    • @jimothyj2638
      @jimothyj2638 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You look like a Portland-style feminized leftist beta male

  • @SparkySINN
    @SparkySINN 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The ambition of Bert and Tom is slowly making this the best podcast... the way they spin big ideas and make big phone calls... so great... so fun.

  • @JoseDiaz-rt7du
    @JoseDiaz-rt7du 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    When Bert laughs it makes my day. Seeing a grown man who sounds like a little girl Laughing is pure comedy.

  • @hectorguerrerotigerteeth3525
    @hectorguerrerotigerteeth3525 4 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    We can all smell Bert through the screen. The pool chlorine & red kool-aid is strong

    • @timjohnson6353
      @timjohnson6353 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      And the shit on his finger tips....

    • @DNYGdj
      @DNYGdj 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I was wondering what that smell was..

    • @paulcarmi8130
      @paulcarmi8130 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@timjohnson6353 HAHAHA

    • @SpacersChoice
      @SpacersChoice 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      yup. plus booze sweat

  • @silverg9540
    @silverg9540 4 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    It's episode 42 but the thumbnail says 41... Nadav is gonna pay.

    • @danielab3278
      @danielab3278 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Guess Tom is going to get to crack Nadav's back after all.

    • @jamesanderson1930
      @jamesanderson1930 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The bumper fell off. Good job, Nadav!

    • @tatatheretiktok6031
      @tatatheretiktok6031 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Please take this down, Tom could see this. Let's just hope it goes unnoticed and unpunished.

    • @michaelmcgrath7042
      @michaelmcgrath7042 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Nadav did bad

    • @MrDALE-jy8tu
      @MrDALE-jy8tu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      All fixed now....

  • @phill8008
    @phill8008 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Bert: Say the word vulnerable
    V-U-N-E-R-A-B-L-E

  • @Cdv360
    @Cdv360 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    They must've sprinkled some coke on Bert's coffee this episode lol.

  • @amandapanda4918
    @amandapanda4918 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    The dynamic between these two is priceless. Tom sits back and nods while Bert rambles on and I love them so much omggg

    • @shanefoster333
      @shanefoster333 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I hate watch at this point. I love Tom, but I cannot stand a single thing about Bert. It's the same episode every time. "Dude we should totally do...." with zero intention of ever doing said thing. IDK how Tom can be around this guy.

  • @snapees
    @snapees 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Brent misspelling vulnerable after calling himself eloquent. . The bar just continues to drop.

  • @17Codiferus
    @17Codiferus 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    The genuine _terror_ on Brets face when Tom queues the clip of Leanne is so good.

  • @arishaffir
    @arishaffir 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Vote Shaffir/Gillis for Legion of Skanks president and vice president. The choice is clear; Shaffir (please leave an absurdly negative reply if you agree that Ari Shaffir always brings the most mayhem)

    • @chilliLRK
      @chilliLRK 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Love u ari

    • @HeavyShowsNYC
      @HeavyShowsNYC 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      MayHAM

    • @OldSchoolExplained
      @OldSchoolExplained 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ari I want to, what’s the email address?

    • @iAmRob0
      @iAmRob0 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jeeeeeewwww

    • @yeroschenko
      @yeroschenko 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Shaffir/Gillis is exactly the campaign to distrust as leaders and that's best for ratings and engagement. See current news cycle for further evidence.

  • @TeeheeFr0g2
    @TeeheeFr0g2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Everyone always says "oh what about wyoming?" without thinking about living in a Wyoming winter and you're stuck on I-80 with a gallon of water and some clif bars in a snowstorm

    • @SuperHoneyOil
      @SuperHoneyOil 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thats for people who don't have Trucks or 4WD. I like in the great north, and people just stay home or make sure they have the means to get out. Seems like only out of state people who get in those situations.

    • @TeeheeFr0g2
      @TeeheeFr0g2 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @morgan For the record that never happened to me but I heard stories lol.

  • @JaimeeJam
    @JaimeeJam ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love that Bert thinks if he was single he'd be "slaying" 🤣

  • @Dirtbiker463
    @Dirtbiker463 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    “I am very eloquent.”
    Lol ok Brett

    • @danwerra7553
      @danwerra7553 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Guy is a dummy

    • @j.b.7133
      @j.b.7133 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      its this shit that actually really makes me dislike him. You know he seriously thinks this.

    • @danwerra7553
      @danwerra7553 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      J.B. this. Bert sucks more every week.

  • @toetoe5626
    @toetoe5626 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Hey that’s cool, I saw that guy with the hat with a bunch of peanut butter at my local dog park!

  • @susie7336
    @susie7336 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Burt- “Are you eloquent?”
    Tom- “Uhm, yea.”

  • @mybrainsondrums
    @mybrainsondrums 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    in this installment of Bret speaks words good, we cover vunrable and cresending

  • @tylerqualls4911
    @tylerqualls4911 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Please see this.. Burt’s mental capacity and dialogue is pretty similar to the character Ricky from Trailer Park Boys.

    • @zakkholguin3942
      @zakkholguin3942 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Except Ricky is funny and endearing.

  • @enriqueshockwave7632
    @enriqueshockwave7632 4 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    If only Bretts hygiene was as good as his false sense of confidence

    • @dj-savi1528
      @dj-savi1528 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lolol idk why when I see him think of that

    • @cmears76
      @cmears76 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Cold blooded Ricky

  • @willjuf37
    @willjuf37 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Things that I didn’t expect to hear today... “I like his giggle.”

  • @celebritywarship5658
    @celebritywarship5658 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Lolll Bert’s wife made him look like such a drip

  • @TropicaldiscoveryUk
    @TropicaldiscoveryUk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Bert: She ain't going no where.
    Everyone: Erm, ok...

  • @ExpatMarauder
    @ExpatMarauder 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The Greatest Podcast on Erth....Tom is a genius, he gets the best out of Bert!!!! Tom is loike the greatest sports players they pass the ball and let team mates score..Love you both !!!

  • @Howardjarnold
    @Howardjarnold 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Can we get a compilation of every time Burt says “LBGT”

    • @606danco
      @606danco 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nah these people allready have enough exposure

    • @Howardjarnold
      @Howardjarnold 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Alec Powers that’s gay

  • @raidenxp_13
    @raidenxp_13 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Christina P: I have an unlimited supply of Tik Toks
    Tom: I have a Burnt

  • @NvrLucky43
    @NvrLucky43 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Bert basically said he wants to be the Doc Antle of Comedy.

    • @kingjamestres
      @kingjamestres 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It took me a while but I got it LOL

    • @Ally.Cat.252
      @Ally.Cat.252 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Willz __ stoke from who? Also I’ve never found any of his material funny.

    • @Mr.Meeseeks.
      @Mr.Meeseeks. 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Ally.Cat.252 pajamas was a pretty funny bit

    • @Ally.Cat.252
      @Ally.Cat.252 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mr Meeseeks I made it thru 10mins OG secret time then turned it off. Just him squealing at himself.

  • @InspectahReese
    @InspectahReese 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    MF DOOM IS MY FAVORITE BUT THEY TOTALLY SCROLLED RIGHT PAST HIM

    • @JCrownMusic
      @JCrownMusic 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ik, I wanted to hear what they had to say about him 😂😭

    • @Tapwaterisgood
      @Tapwaterisgood 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Rip

    • @banksdiggy
      @banksdiggy 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank god. Tom might have a few footnotes but hearing Bort speaking anything on DOOMs name would be insufferable.

  • @mikeslade15
    @mikeslade15 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Tom’s Karl Pilkington reference 6:30 goes straight over Brett’s head

  • @agonz91
    @agonz91 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Tom: I'm here with Bert Kreischer
    Fazon: Who???

  • @RDSwords
    @RDSwords 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Burt doing an English accent sounds like the sparkling water guy

    • @samleejessop
      @samleejessop 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I’m just happy you said English accent instead of British 😅

  • @dubie620
    @dubie620 4 ปีที่แล้ว +174

    Burt thinks he’s eloquent then spells vulnerable wrong and says the word “crescending”

    • @TivoYourEbay_0
      @TivoYourEbay_0 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Bart is r-worded

    • @taylordial1231
      @taylordial1231 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It’s crazy. It’s almost like he’s a comedian making a joke, right? What a wild world we’re living in

    • @smashin
      @smashin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      eloquent but he can't read the ads and constantly stumbles over his words.

    • @quikxfl
      @quikxfl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You're mad about his mental descendo

    • @russiantothefridge
      @russiantothefridge 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      adaggio summoner!

  • @The-nz8ui
    @The-nz8ui 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    “LeAnne i- god bless, passed away 🙏🏻” 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @Adam__U
    @Adam__U 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This has turned into Tom interviewing Bert and I don't know if I can be arsed with listening to this every week. Let Tom tell a story Brent!!

  • @ShredHouseGaming
    @ShredHouseGaming 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Bart has lost so many IQ points throughout this quarantine its almost impressive

  • @_nosocial
    @_nosocial 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    “He needs to drink Water without koolaid mixed in”...😂🤣

  • @SuperZephyr11
    @SuperZephyr11 4 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    Tom Hardy for Lyle, Chris Tucker for black guy.

    • @TheShrekage
      @TheShrekage 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Michel Cain for Lyle. I would say Charlie Murphy for Tom's black guy hype man but he passed away, so I'm saying Eddie Murphy doing an impression of Charlie Murphy 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @lauracunningham8888
      @lauracunningham8888 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Fatman Scoop would also be great for Tom.

    • @lauracunningham8888
      @lauracunningham8888 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Fatman Scoop would be great for anybody.

    • @mikeyod1914
      @mikeyod1914 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      David Jason for Lyle even though im pretty sure there is no British person with that name at all

  • @VLVVida-
    @VLVVida- 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The guy laughing in the back always gets me lol. He must love his job so much, these two are just too much lol.

  • @alice5515
    @alice5515 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That Cam’ron bit 🤣🤣 We’re all a bit of Bert

  • @shermangraves6715
    @shermangraves6715 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Every time Burt spoke in his ‘cockney Brit’ voice, I almost shot myself in the mouth.

    • @Thunderer0872
      @Thunderer0872 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes 'in his' version of Cockney ... I was loading a gun also.

    • @shinigamitkd
      @shinigamitkd 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You both have me cry laughing😂😂😂😂

    • @MrDALE-jy8tu
      @MrDALE-jy8tu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      👈 I was offended.....
      and threw up in my mouth a lil bit

    • @FL.Cracker
      @FL.Cracker 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Root canal with a revolver

    • @chrisparrot2660
      @chrisparrot2660 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@MrDALE-jy8tu I was offended and I'm not even British! I don't really like doing impressions, but I've been told I'm good at it, to the point people have thought i was lying about being American when i went back to my regular American voice. Brett really butchered it.

  • @chasecastano3422
    @chasecastano3422 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Iced coffee, Red Bull, gallon of Kool Aid, DIET coke
    “I need a treat”

  • @viewfinderthis
    @viewfinderthis 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Bert is definitely the friend in the group who is tiktok'd and doesn't know it and his friends don't have the heart to tell him either

  • @bradyromero1706
    @bradyromero1706 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Bert doing ad reads is like watching Rocky II when Stallone is trying to do commercials, and the director realizes he can’t read.

  • @BIGGELATO
    @BIGGELATO 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bert having Cam'ron's number is words i never thought i'd hear in the same sentence 😂😂😂

  • @WinzGotBeats
    @WinzGotBeats 4 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    These Google searches are coming up super fast!! can't be nadav.

    • @joet3303
      @joet3303 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I pretty sure they cut it out of the video.. wasting to much time on nadav being bad at his job

    • @VideoNozoki
      @VideoNozoki 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@joet3303 : I hope so. It made me feel sorry for the guy, and it just brought down the mood.
      Never enjoyed and Bert/Nadav drama. Just want to enjoy the show.

    • @jamesl3426
      @jamesl3426 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      VideoNozoki I thought that was all staged

    • @charlesbirdsong6782
      @charlesbirdsong6782 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      James L it is, it went over his head lol.

    • @VideoNozoki
      @VideoNozoki 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Not Mick Blotters : Thanks.

  • @sharpe1128
    @sharpe1128 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Schaub was definitely the one that asked Bert about following Rogan to Austin.

    • @GK-qc5ry
      @GK-qc5ry 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes definitely knew it was Brendan when he said it.

    • @SauravKumar-st5rs
      @SauravKumar-st5rs 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      And he should because California is too toxic for him and Bryan... Librals trying to cancel everyone as always

    • @starman7679
      @starman7679 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Time stamp??? I do t want to sit through all of this.

    • @223DigitalArt
      @223DigitalArt 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Brendan isnt funny and needs that protection from&j Rogan. He wouldnt last if he stayed in LA

    • @Aztecsoviet
      @Aztecsoviet 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SauravKumar-st5rs an indian saying somewhere else is too toxic? bro focus on the rape pandemic there

  • @sagresnaw
    @sagresnaw 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    So basically Bert wants Karl Pilkington to be his hype man.

    • @chaddasterdly90
      @chaddasterdly90 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Carl will show him up to much! He's far more intelligent!

    • @sagresnaw
      @sagresnaw 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@chaddasterdly90 Nice try Karl

  • @justindelancey5217
    @justindelancey5217 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The guys laughing in the background are great. First time watching this and I love it.

  • @SanctuaryChurchOfGod
    @SanctuaryChurchOfGod 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I’m too distracted by Bert using a straw in his strawless Starbucks lid

    • @nancipelosi911
      @nancipelosi911 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      SAME 🤣🤣🤣

    • @matthewjswider
      @matthewjswider 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      There’s no such thing as a “straw less Starbucks” anything. Have you tried it? It’s purgatory. #savethestraws