What gets me the most is this extreme "consciouness" of my unconsciouness. Meaning that I am often pretty aware of the effort it takes for me to do anything and this fact alone already makes me realize that I am not being honest with myself, that I'm trying to force a behavior or activity that I don't feel anything about, don't have any meaning for me. This tendence is so often and draining to say the least, it's almost as if I was frozen in my own skin and can't see anything
I’m reverse. My seasonal depression affects me every summer, and SAD in the summer is not as well researched. Also, I love cloudy and rainy days. The sun and I just aren’t compatible
Raising pressure before sunny days and falling pressure before "bad" weather. I don't have BPD, my mother has BPD and NPD. I have ADHD, Delayed sleep-wake phase disorder (DSWPD), also known as delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPS) and CPTCD and banch of other crap with multiple letters in it, migraines and it gets worse when seasons change, unstable weather. Your problems could be related to CPTCD not actual BPD.
It sounds like everyone avoids isolation. For me, I’ve been going through empty nest with my 2 sons. One has moved out and the other has been travelling a lot. It has been wonderful to have the house to myself and be able to self-regulate and acknowledge what is coming up for me. When I am super busy and distracted I tend to lose myself. I’ve been a single mother for 20 years and work as clinician at a county health facility. I had to reduce my hours because I realized I’d be so dysregulated after working during the week that 2 days was not enough to calm down. I also realized that I’m anxious around my own children and feel most comfortable alone. This doesn’t mean I totally isolate myself. I don’t but my work role is so intense and being a single parent is also intense so I need down time to be able function better and that’s totally ok. My son tells me I become a more loving warm mother when I have less demands. When I get really busy and go, go, I’ve learned it’s a warning sign that I’m going to break and it won’t be good for me or anyone within my radius so I pace myself and try to stay aware of my feelings and energy levels. And yea it’s ok to be just ok, to not perfect AND to say no.
I live in N central California. I attempt to keep myself on standard time even in the summer. I close the curtains and shutters at 6 pm when daylight savings starts and now that we are about to undergo turning our clocks back I’ve been going to bed at 8 and getting up at 4 to prepare for the change. I noticed I get sleepy earlier so feels very natural. I also am taking vitamin D3 and try to spend at least 30 minutes sitting in the sun during the day weather permitting. I so try to walk quite a bit. All these interventions seem to decrease the SAD symptoms. I do love rainy days but prolonged days of cloudy days can be a little difficult. Now that I’ve transitioned through menopause and have been off the SSRI for 4 years the SAD symptoms are almost imperceptible. Additionally, our culture has a plethora of demands and activities during the fall and winter which historically was a time of slowing down. I’ ve been enjoying slowing down, spending more time journaling and even gaining a bit more weight. It feels natural and seasonal AND it’s ok to make friends with it. Life isn’t always exciting.
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What gets me the most is this extreme "consciouness" of my unconsciouness. Meaning that I am often pretty aware of the effort it takes for me to do anything and this fact alone already makes me realize that I am not being honest with myself, that I'm trying to force a behavior or activity that I don't feel anything about, don't have any meaning for me. This tendence is so often and draining to say the least, it's almost as if I was frozen in my own skin and can't see anything
I’m reverse. My seasonal depression affects me every summer, and SAD in the summer is not as well researched. Also, I love cloudy and rainy days. The sun and I just aren’t compatible
Raising pressure before sunny days and falling pressure before "bad" weather. I don't have BPD, my mother has BPD and NPD. I have ADHD, Delayed sleep-wake phase disorder (DSWPD), also known as delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPS) and CPTCD and banch of other crap with multiple letters in it, migraines and it gets worse when seasons change, unstable weather. Your problems could be related to CPTCD not actual BPD.
It sounds like everyone avoids isolation. For me, I’ve been going through empty nest with my 2 sons. One has moved out and the other has been travelling a lot. It has been wonderful to have the house to myself and be able to self-regulate and acknowledge what is coming up for me. When I am super busy and distracted I tend to lose myself. I’ve been a single mother for 20 years and work as clinician at a county health facility. I had to reduce my hours because I realized I’d be so dysregulated after working during the week that 2 days was not enough to calm down. I also realized that I’m anxious around my own children and feel most comfortable alone. This doesn’t mean I totally isolate myself. I don’t but my work role is so intense and being a single parent is also intense so I need down time to be able function better and that’s totally ok. My son tells me I become a more loving warm mother when I have less demands. When I get really busy and go, go, I’ve learned it’s a warning sign that I’m going to break and it won’t be good for me or anyone within my radius so I pace myself and try to stay aware of my feelings and energy levels. And yea it’s ok to be just ok, to not perfect AND to say no.
I live in N central California. I attempt to keep myself on standard time even in the summer. I close the curtains and shutters at 6 pm when daylight savings starts and now that we are about to undergo turning our clocks back I’ve been going to bed at 8 and getting up at 4 to prepare for the change. I noticed I get sleepy earlier so feels very natural. I also am taking vitamin D3 and try to spend at least 30 minutes sitting in the sun during the day weather permitting. I so try to walk quite a bit. All these interventions seem to decrease the SAD symptoms. I do love rainy days but prolonged days of cloudy days can be a little difficult. Now that I’ve transitioned through menopause and have been off the SSRI for 4 years the SAD symptoms are almost imperceptible.
Additionally, our culture has a plethora of demands and activities during the fall and winter which historically was a time of slowing down. I’ ve been enjoying slowing down, spending more time journaling and even gaining a bit more weight. It feels natural and seasonal AND it’s ok to make friends with it. Life isn’t always exciting.
I put my mother BPD and NPD on D3 5000 UI plus K2 (MK7) and her SAD got much better.