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Why romanticize abuse?

I found God through my religion as Muslim I feel numb I can feel God’s energy but then my feelings change

So I thought I was having some magical moment right now... But I was actually just being duped by the algorithm.🤦‍♀️ Good Lord Roxanne.😅 Okay. This is nuts! Just last night I came across a video about the vagus nerve and other medical tips. This came up!! He literally puts on heart monitors and dunks his face in ice water! In only 3 seconds, his heart rate dropped! (But he was calm, and in a moment of rage we won't be. So I understand why she says 15-20 seconds.) And now I see this! 😮 It must be a sign!! *** And this is when I finally realized... it's the freaking algorithm. 😮🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Lmao I need a nap! 🤣

I really wish my husband would agree to watch this.

LOL yes on the telling people "hey guys, I'm sorry, I'm not listening". Lets people know I care, I want to listen, but sets expectations. Then they don't get their feelings hurt when I have no idea what they said 5 minutes ago. And to work with me if they're trying to tell me something important.

Not being able to help my friends/find out how they are doing when they are ill is the worst for me. I literally end up curled up on the floor having anxiety attacks when they have colds cos im so sure they are going to die. and the absolute crushing worthlessness i feel at them not letting me help them. It kills me, but my therapists/other friends are just like "have u tried not worrying" 😢

Trust your instincts. And yes.. just ask them. ❤

I can definitelly relate to what you are writing: I felt an overwhelming love for my mom as a child, though she did not love me. Later, after ~ 12, I felt overwhelmingly in love with the reflection of my face - to the ppint I would cry. Just like with my mom. Or nature. I think, I had it years later with my daughter when she was little and would show affecrion to me. But mostly I wouks feel joy mised with sadness. Beauty always used to make sad - as if I had felt I wasnot worth it, or that my inner state was not matching it. I do bear some traits of BPD: very strong, alterating emotions, very deep level of connection to people, very deep emorional experiences. I live in my head, as one girl with BPD addmitted. I would get overwhelmed emorionally as a child. What I don't have is a fear of abandonment, and maybe it's because I was "blessed" to never truely be loved. By no one. I know I am better of alone than next to a false love. It's not that I never have enough - on opposit, I neede very luttle to be happy. A genuine gesture of care makes me very thankful! I was always in mentally abusive relationshios - because I was condituined as a child to love, and pity, and try to help and make happy someone who is not capable of a true love. So I never feared abandobment because I knew I would better off on my own. I do love my daughter (13) and want to make a happy person, though I know she does not love me when she was little, and I prepared myself that she will live separatelly when ahe grows up. It was hard to accept in the beginning, but now I am used to this thought. I also don't see any affection from her anymore, and she is often as a stranger to me. Her father , from whom I separated, is spoiling her tremendously, even after so much explainations from my part. She used to cry when we were verbally fighting, but now she feels jealous seeing how he is trying to be his best with me to win me back. It's bad, but I just accept it as truth and try to do a lot of explainarions with each if them. And I am trying to make sure there are never 3 of us at the same time to avoid triangularion my any of them. He used to compete with me for her love, when we were close. I wonder if I am subconsciously pushing her away to avoid separation trauma when she grows up and leaves. I have always had very dramatic relationshios with her. A lot of mother guilt, rage - when she did things to spite me, then guilt again. Those serm like BPD traits. Ialso felt a lot of affection towards her. But I never felt that her love is not enough for me. She told me she loves me many times when she was little. And sometimes her affection would even hurt me like a rare affection from my mother. She (mother) never kissed me, but would sometimes call me "sunshine", which would make me cry. I know now that my mom is uncapble of feeling love due to her own child trauma - but she thinks she is, because she does not know what true love is. I was wondering if I knew - but I know I do! Because my daughter's happiness makes me happy. And I am not talking about a consumer happiness (what her father gives her in abondense) - I am talking about a true, worth one! She just does what a "good" mother is supposed to do, but because she does not feel love, many of her actions do harm on a long run. Severe enabling, for example. Like my husband. My daughter's entering adulsence was very traumatizing for me. I could not accept she was growing up. Like for many moms. I came in terms with that. But she learned to lie. To lie to herself. Mayby under her dad's influence, maybe as a part of assimilation with peers. She admitted one day she wants me to talk to her like a child, not adult, but at the same time she tells me all the time that I pay too much attention to her which is a lie and must be a b.s. reversed psychology trick. She is never truthful with me - only when she talks about her consumnerist wants. I t's horrible, but I do not panic. I just keep talking to her and try to correct her father's behavior towards her. Maybe I am talking to her in a wrong way, because 99.9% of my words bounce off her. But I don't give up. I know I'll find the way to teach her to be a human - or the life will. We both are very dramatic - that's why it's hard for us to communicate. She is also a Scorpion, and I am a Lion. These signs always have power struggle. :)

I'm 51 for me it hasn't gone away. It's a part of my life since a child no matter the therapy, meds. I'm not saying others can't get better but it's a disservice to some of us who try so much for years and still struggle and hear people say you can "recover". I think it can be better but not cured in most.

What hurts me the most about having BPD is the fact that people around you want to be like you....except for you 😢.

Impulsivity is my favorite also. I surprise myself most times😂

So grateful for this, it truly gives me hope. Thank you! 💫

Every time i made suggestions to help i get accused of not caring , understanding and told I’m not validating her feelings. That would be after validation then the suggestion of what might help. Quickly followed up with bring up a past event to validate that I’m an insensitive and uncaring person and or bringing up my child hood to blame my upbringing for what a horrible person i am.

do you have regrets when you deeply hurt someone? what do you feel?

You guys are monsters and deserve to be treated as such.

Good to know others go through this aswell 😢

This may seem weird but would love to know each of your birthdays so I could do a birth chart on everyone with BPD. I was diagnosed 20 years ago with BPD but I find it very strange that a lot of my traits also show up in my astrological chart. Just wondering if this is a pattern? If anyone is willing to give me their birthdate so I can do their chart I need your date of birth time of birth and city and state you’re born in.

Then the mext scene she's locked herself in the bathroom with a knife threatening to kill herself because he said good morning in a funny way

Totally inappropriate comment from the first guest. Calling a woman old and smelling weird what an ageist comment.

🌻

I got accused of having bpd,is it normal to keep discussing something if you are hurt and in disbelief? Also I only said hurtful things when I couldnt take it anymore,the other person too The other person says that I live in my oen world in my own head but I dont know just because I am scared of beeing exremly hurtful too others on occasion where it could happen and I overreact by worrying about beeing bullied Is that Bpd,like I am mostöy calm and nice and well after Discussions or Fights I am me and I wanna be nice again after the other Person and I apologized Do I have BPD? Btw ask anything ok?

i relate hard and proud of you but is your dog okay?

For me it’s being replaced, as this was the most common form of abandonment I experienced growing up. It’s hard not to be viewed as controlling when anytime someone close to me has other people in their lives, I feel the primal urge to ensure they don’t get to close with my person…I’m working on it but it’s really really hard!

It is so good to be able to repair relationships with a parent. Still having time to do it while you can before it's too late.

Omg, so me. I always feel so alive but kinda paralized at the same time, happy but sad and confused when I'm with someone. I miss them while they're there. While we lay in bed like the guys in the video. At the same time I don't wanna be with them and I feel less attached emotion than them. For many reasons it's easiest to have platonic relationships. They make me longterm happy while romantically coded interaction/relationships are like getting drunk to feel good.

I have bpd but also treatment resistant depression since 8th grade so I literally cannot remember a time I was happy. I don’t even know what happiness feels like. My best mood is ambivalent so I’m jealous of ppl with bpd who get to experience this amount of joy. Only feeling amplified negative emotions is really tiring

May someone please explain why someone with BPD could feel this? ❤

I just found out about your channel, such a great discussion it really hits home with me. I can relate to it so much . Thank you

You're right. The feeling of being able to go through a day instead of thinking about the future is needed when everything is overwhelming. It's okay to take things slowly when you feel like sinking, once things get back on track, you'll feel much better. It's difficult, it is very difficult, it might occur for the whole week or month, but it's alright, you keep going makes you a strong person.

This is my thoughts everyday that I try to hide because it seems abnormal to a lot of peopel

5:55 Oh Lord thanks for talking about tips for how to take things slow. I was panicking when in the beginning of the video, you guys all talked about your nice slow start, starting as friends, not getting too attached. And I was like, wow, great advice, if only I could do that xD Your videos are all so great! I've seen like 20 so far on my BPD journey. Thanks for these amazing resources! It really helps to hear a lot of different people's journeys.

Whats BPD?

Ok this is for real

I expect the huge mood swings; I want to stop engaging in harmful behaviors

I thought I was the only one that did it!!! 😅

So true hahahahahahahah

Is it common for people with BPD to not tell their counsellor about certain traits or behaviours in order to avoid a BPD diagnosis? Are counsellors commonly good at spotting BPD or is that beyond the average counsellor and a psychiatrist a much better option?

Not finding a life worth living. Dying alone.

We seek perfection

True😅

That's me

WTF! You yelling hello gave me anxiety!

I have been waiting for my DBTtherapy for months and have not had a job during this time. I have started swearing out loud in public if I’m overwhelmed by something that feels unjust and I’m a bit embarrassed about this.. The rage just seems so endless and huge within me.

I can relate 🩷💕💜💞💯💯🫶

Hits too close:/

Letting symptoms take over my life, always keep my instincts, gut feeling in check. Being my own advocate.

Yeah... this is kind of terrifying 😳