Why Narcissists Try to Provoke You (and How to Deal With It the RIGHT WAY)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
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What to do when narcissists provoke you.
Have you ever wondered why narcissists try to provoke you and make you miserable? If you want to know why narcissists are so exhausting and so confusing, check this out. They love to bait you and wear you down. In this video, you'll learn how narcissists react when they can't control you and why they do things to make you react.
🎓What you’ll learn in the webinar:
The 3 empowering secrets you need to take back control when communicating with narcissists.
How to develop a winning, foolproof strategy to drive the outcome you want out of negotiations with narcissists.
How to be more powerful, persuasive and confident when negotiating with narcs.
What to say in negotiation and how to say it so that you can beat narcs at their own game!
How to anticipate what the narcissist will do and be two steps ahead of them at all times.
About Rebecca Zung:
✅Rebecca Zung is one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the nation, having been recognized by U.S. News & World Report as a “Best Lawyer in America”, as “Legal Elite” by Trend Magazine, and recognized by her peers and the judiciary as AV(c), preeminent rated in family law, the highest possible rating for an attorney by Martindale Hubbell.
✅But her journey wasn’t always easy. She got married at 19, had 3 children and divorced at the age of 23. She was a divorced single mom when she decided to go back to law school. She went from being a single mom, college dropout, to becoming one the most powerful lawyers in the country at the helm of a multi-million dollar practice. She is now committed to sharing her secrets and empowering others to live their lives at their optimum level of success, professionally and personally.
✅She is the author of the bestselling books, Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R.: The Sure Fire Method to Step Up and Win and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide for Achieving Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Freedom, and is a sought after major media contributor.
✅She has been featured in Extra, Forbes, Huffington Post, Newsweek, Time, Dr. Drew, NPR Talk Radio, Good Day New York and CBS Los Angeles among others. She is the host of the popular show Negotiate Your Best Life™ which is available on TH-cam and as a Top Podcast. She is also a frequent keynote speaker.
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🎓FREE WEBINAR: 🎓FREE WEBINAR: DISCOVER HOW TO TURN THE TABLES ON A NARCISSIST HERE:👉slay.rebeccazu...
#narcissistsupport #narcissistsreaction #rebeccazung
Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact an attorney in your state to obtain legal advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.
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📌Got a narcissist who’s trying to provoke you? Join me in this FREE webinar and discover how to crush them in 3 simple steps. Click here now:👉 www.rebeccazung.com/live
I will be there to answer all your questions!
@@RebeccaZungEsq My Mum is 92 and will NeverStop I
Until I am Dead or I Get to Retire to Vietnam if I Can Fly After Vaccination Rebecca My Heart has been Damaged by Her non Stop Narcissistic Behaviour Rebecca
@@brettweary8491 you need to disconnect someway somehow these demons will destroy you
Can you imagine mine is a doctor and those simptoms are typical for him , but I will mention and he is collecting a garbage 🗑️ at home
Complete truth
They want you to lose it, so they look sane. But we all know better.
Definitely agreed!
Wow - isn't that the best?!
I pinch my forefinger and thumb together, not hard but is distracts from my emotional response. Then we calm down. Thank you so much!!!!
@@pinkposey8134 interesting. I try and think 'hey, I know what they want, a reaction of emotions... Don't give it!'- but wow, it's difficult. Stay cool, everyone! Have a great day. 😎✔
Thank you for that. This is exactly where I am right now. I feel like I am loosing my mind. But this makes me feel a bit better. I'm not nuts. And yes he talks about his first memory was of pooping himself and not yet having the verbal skills to get help so he just screamed...he brings that up alot
They get SO ANGRY when you do not react. It’s crazy.
Because they are nuts
@@kellifrumento8992 😂 right
@@kanchanyadav1313 it’s not funny. They try to destroy another’s happiness, they wreck close ones lives!
@@kellifrumento8992 they’re not crazy, they know exactly what they’re doing. Any conversation with one is destructive to their victim
It’s so funny to be I laugh in the inside😂
You said it all, when you described them as toddlers in adult bodies. It’s absolutely it. Our mistake is looking at them as adults.
Exactly! That was an eye-opener. Great video indeed !!
I immediately block those kind of people without fail. Negotiating with a narcissist is like standing on a roof top and arguing with a severe thunderstorm.
Who wins? LOL
Lol good analogy
😅😅this was so good
Wow! That’s a wild description
Just pointless.
I notice when you ignore them for a while they would attempt to provoke you so they can get their high.
Yes mine had a nurse call from hospital he was in auto accident
Definitely
Yes, happens frequently.
All the time. It's exhausting.
Thats exactly what happened today..exactly !
If they can provoke you..they know they are in control of you and manipulating your emotions.
Don’t let emotion interfere no matter what they do or say. Expect bad behavior. Don’t react to it! Poker face!😱
If a narc tries to provoke me,
I "grey rock" or just dont respond w any emotion. A drama free response and they hate it.
Exactly!
@@leeboriack8054 good idea!
This is so hard to do especially living in a studio . My adult kid is narc. Cant take it anymore.
@@sofiaruby603 Kick him out, make him get a job and stand on his own two feet. No one deserves to be a prisoner in their own home. Especially when YOU pay the bills.
I moved out at 17 to escape my narc family. Now 10 years later I had a kid with a narc .
Yeah, agree with you. It's that little satisfied smile that they can't quite suppress that gives them away.
Or that feeling of relief you sense from them (empath here) once you react to their abuse and get “mean” with them. Like “Yes! She’s not the perfect, nice person I saw her as. She’s flawed like me!”
The narcissistic smirk.
@@tracysapp3069 absolutely the smirk gives them away
Yea i seen that smile it sickens me
Yea i seen that smile it sickens me
So true. Best protection is to pretend you don't care, even if you do. You are no longer injured by their abuse, worried that anyone will believe their lies, or intimidated by their threats. nothing to get here.
lucky you
@@tjd7964 yeah
I'm 98% effective at this, and I know it's right.
What should I do if I briefly lost it for a moment, snapped back briefly, then composed myself, but find my self ruminating over it days later? 😂
@@geoffgreenwood3243forgive yourself and move on in your beautiful life, learn the lesson and stay away from them.
They are bullies of the playground of life...period.
Truth plus after provoking you, they get to tell family and friends how horrible you are.
Exactly. Heinous.
Also landlords and co-workers
YES! Omgosh this is what I'm currently dealing with. It's so confusing. And now he tells me how everyone thinks he's crazy for talking to me.
Yes my ex would create drama once I was provoked and fought back he would tell friends, family, and all his flying monkeys what an awful person I was and he was always the victim. True
@@spicyphilly confusing is not of God
They get off on being able to control your feelings. Feelings are very important. Feelings are powerful.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Agreed. When we see it run. 🏃
The vulnerable type appear to provoke to get a reaction so that they can feel like the victim and tell people they are the abused one.
Yes exactly..😔
Ah, I see that you know my sister.
This was a particularly hurtful action by the narcs.
Totally!
My current situation
They want attention even if its bad attention. They can't handle being ignored and avoided. They get very angry, hostile, and aggressive.
True! They enjoy making others sad. The only problem these days is that narcissists are now the ones calling their victims and other people narcissists.
Totally!
This is so true.
BINGO!
It’s all about provoking, especially after they lost themselves. They desperately want you to lose too. If you finally had enough and be firm and emotionless, they would say this is your true face and you’re the evil one. My ex rotated in different methods so quickly, super calm and reasonable apologies and explanation, angry accusations, and sadness and depression as if his life was falling apart. The most horrible thing is the persistence.
Truth! My narcissist actually said he finds it fun to get me upset. What shocked me was his admission!
If it's new, it's mine, mine, mine.
When it's broken, it's yours.
Yup! Exactly!
Sounds familiar
And when it’s broke, it’s YOUR fault.
✨Sooooo true! No matter what it is! As long as it’s new!!
"Before you get too bothered about the narcissists, remember, they are figured out, they are not winning, they are in their own hell; so, set boundaries, don't gossip, walk away and let them get fixed and let them build the bridges they burned." - brian padrick drake
Don't gossip. Isn't gossiping itself a trait shown by narc(to inflate their egos)?
Thank you. Their #1 trait is gossip. Smear campaigns. In a nightmare of narc. stalker w/access to every phone. They used whomever possible for flying monkeys. Hoping we get out of this alive.
Narcissism is an extreme overcompensation for extreme insecurity...
Totally!
@@RebeccaZungEsq Tawny Kitaen was a prime example. Tender heart... but a tortured mind. I just exchanged DM's with her on Twitter when her dad died April 12th, and she was more concerned with the people who were worried about her rather than the other way around. I got a really sweet DM from Tawny on the 14th (my birthday) saying thank you for my kind words. I just heard that the police didn't find any evidence of drugs... so, if that's the case then I'm sure she just died of a broken heart having just lost her dad.
@@scottdunn2178 that doesn't sound like narcissistic behavior. Codependent maybe?
Heartbreaking - and after 3 years of being stalked and harassed do I feel empathy? FUCK 'EM AND EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTS AND COVERS UP FOR THEM.
In terms of insecurity from what I have seen these crudbuckets create their own insecurity in part through the damage they do to the people into which they thrust their fangs. No, the narcissist will get to sympathy from me.
They never apologize for anything that they say or do that hurts someone.There appears to be lack of empathy.
Truth! You agree with everything they think or do, don’t rock the boat by having autonomy. It is like dealing with a 3 year old that wants you to die a terrible death if the wrong word comes out of your mouth. It is inconceivable.
Totally!
Absolutely! This has been my life for the last two years and always knew there was something not quite right - and realised this week that he’s a covert narcissist to the letter.
They will seek out your weak spots and use these against you …they do things you asked them nicely not to and in the end sometimes sadly you do get upset and they seem happy when this happens and they seem to have no real emotions towards you
They can carry on the day like it was you not them
But what they don’t like is when they do not succeed especially if you stone wall them and carry on smiling
The narcissist's smear campaign may be a means of causing pain.
Sad truth is what really inflicts that pain is seeing everybody eat it up with a spoon. The narc could smear me to the moon and back I wouldn't care, but when I see the smear effectively working everywhere with (almost) everyone... The only silver lining is getting to know who really knows you and is immune, but jobs, social circles, schools, courts, even therapists (who oughta know better), then it's nearly impossible not to squirm.
Definitely
@@Haley497 I agree
@@Haley497 yep. It's surprising how many "believers" there are.
Truth. They provoke in order to upset, so then the narcissist has an excuse to punish their target with actions they would do anyway, but if the target looses their cool, the narcissistic will insist to themselves, the enablers, the flying monkeys, and the target, that it is all the fault of the target. They know it hurts. That, also, to them, is power.
This has been proven in brain studies. Their brains are different from normal brains. Pleasure centers light up when they view suffering.
So my narc’s brain should look like a fireworks 💥 factory explosion..
Thank you ever so much, Michele, for the corroboration.
EVIL PEOPLE....
TRUTH!!!
ya, i see people get happy when they see a person that is upset. seen it several times. stunned and shocked at humanity. people are disgraceful. joy when Jesus returns.
They provoke, argue, you argue back. They up the ante (toddler tantrum) by shouting at you until you break down so again they win! I have never heard these topics so well put. The epiphanies you provide are making it easier for me to deal with a narcissistic family member and forgive myself for standing up for myself.
My ex provoked me too much, I had stopped giving him his supply so he would do the silent treatment which he knew drove me mad, in the end I had enough and I walked away. They really are stupid, if they stopped doing these awful things people might not leave them.
A sense of control, power, and attention. All these are a part of their composition.
Satan
They like shaking the tree and see if they can get any fruit (narcissistic supply) to drop.
Such a great way to describe it!
TRUTH. No lie my ex wife narc during one talk she was having with me she kept interrupting her own conversation with me by asking "Are you crying? Are you crying?". She was looking to see if she was making me emotional. I've never heard or seen anything like that but that's how gross they are. And she was looking for it because she WAS GETTING SOMETHING OUT OF IT! Sick! 🤮
You know our civilisation is devolving fast when narcissism is so widespread.
This happened today. After a long day at work I get into a train station elevator to go up to a bus. There are 3 people in the elevator and a huge baby carriage. I scan my environment as I always do. There is a plain, white man with a very over-shaved face and very short hair standing against the wall with a baby strapped to his chest staring at me. Against the other wall is a plain, white woman. Both of them are looking at me continuously as if I'm an alien. When I glance at the woman, she has a sly smile of hatred on her face - as if she hates all women who are not herself. The other occupant, a European woman, is mysteriously plastered completely flat against the elevator control buttons. It's a strange scene right out of the "Twilight Zone."
I have to tell the European lady that she's against the buttons (literally hiding them), I push my floor, and she flattens back against the buttons. Weird. We get to the next level and I ask if she's getting off here. She seems confused, mutters something about where she's going, and scurries off the elevator. I realize the plain, supercilious, white man and woman (a couple) are getting off and I hold the elevator door open for them. Both keep looking at me as they walk off and never say "thank you."
Then, as the elevator is starting to move up I hear the woman say "WOWW" in a degrading tone as they walk through a turnstile and the man says "I KNOWWW" in a low voice and they both are looking at me, as the elevator moves upwards, with smirks on their faces. I'm standing in the elevator (secretly perplexed and a little amused) with one hand on the handrail and one hand on my hip as I watch their behaviour.
While on the bus I keep wondering why their behaviours and energies creeped me out and why they reacted to me that way. I'm a decent looking woman, who dresses modest and professional. I'm friendly to most people but assertive if someone tries to harm me. I have great colleagues from all backgrounds at all levels of my organization that appreciate and like me. I also have a wonderful man who appreciates me and we are mixed race - me being the European. Yet, this plain jane couple had made me feel almost like I'd done something wrong.
Was it because I assessed my environment? Was it because I had to ask someone to move so I could press an elevator button? Was it because I was wearing a mask on transit and due to all the pollution during wildfire season? Was it my natural observational body language because I work in a hospital and have officers in the family tree? And - why did the European woman who had been in the elevator with this couple plaster herself against the elevator control buttons with a terrified look on her face?
After about 15 minutes I had an "A-Haa" moment and I smiled to myself. It was the same energy I had experienced from narcs! Both people in this couple had that smug, supercilious, critical, provoking, selfish orientation, and their energies felt AWFUL.
Many more thoughts besieged me. This couple did not look like typical city folk. Were they visiting from a small town or country? Visions swirled in my mind - both intuitive and experiential. They were chronic, smug complainers at restaurants and businesses. The man was one of those white-bread small or medium sized business managers with an anal-retentive managing style, who feel superior to their employees, and especially like to put the women employees "in their place." They had serious marital fights in private behind their plain folk facade, and their were hints of potential domestic violence in the future. There were hints of criminal activities behind their smug "family" facade.
I felt sorry for their baby, and I knew that these 2 narc twats would face people in their lives who were not as nice or agreeable as myself and who would take exception to their attitudes.
This is what these people do - even in a short encounter. They make you question yourself, they prey on your insecurities, they give off a horrible, manipulative energy, they act like you are beneath them, and they show no human appreciation even if you are nice to them.
I was proud of myself that I stood in that elevator watching them unfazed by their smugness. The best way to deal with these people is HOLD your confidence. Don't let them faze you. Granted, they have a very disturbing and negative etheric energy that throws people off. If that happens, take a moment to reclaim your emotional and psychological balance. Remember that what these people enjoy is triggering, manipulating, and putting down others around them so that they can feel superior. And, keep in mind that many of these narcs present themselves as plain and upstanding people - so don't be fooled by these fools. 🙂
Crazy people they confuse the hell out of you
Definitely
As I watch this, I have just finished extricating myself from a narcissists life. I made the mistake of having this individual live with me and I chose to leave unannounced and cease all contact. Everything you’re saying is so true.
Truth. My ex husband narc once told me he enjoyed taunting people and then lay back and watch them respond! Jerk.
At least he's honest about his narcissism. :) LOL. In all seriousness, I send you light and support. They suck to deal with.
Sounds exactly like my Machiavellian brother Jerk
TRUTH 💯💯...MISARY LOVES COMPANY!!!
They can't grasp the fact that there are really kind hearted people in the world who would actually help them out of the kindness of their heart. They see pthers as potential enemies or competitors who must be defeated.
or exploited
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Along with the abuse Im rebuilding my trust for myself so THIS RIGHT HERE is a HUGE confirmation 🙌🏼🙏
Truth!
The narcissist may stare you down, do a face scan, to see if the provocation is working. It can double as intimidation. If they do it in your peripheral line of sight, it'll feel like you've got a velociraptor hunting you. They may even do the more ridiculous head tilt or head bob, when they're doing a gotcha scan.
Totally!
You're spot on with this one.
My narcissist ex did that face scan thing. Anytime she detected a whiff of happiness crossing my face the abuse would begin. To deal with it I would grey rock her but I ended up suppressing my normally vibrant personality and that also negatively affected my career.
This is why you go grey rock. Don’t show emotions, good or bad. I also turn my face away to roll my eyes or smirk at their drama to make sure they do not see my facial expressions, which is all supply for them.
My narcissistic mother in law does it.🥺
They’re sick human beings. That’s all I can say after dealing with an entire family of them. There are many different types of narcs, different characteristics but all have the SAME foundational beliefs. THEMSELVES. Everything is about them. Their needs. Their wants. Their demands. Their respect. They will project all their characteristics onto you and put all their flaws onto you. The most important advice I have is to educate yourself!!! Videos like this and others are incredibly valuable to and pertinent to interacting with them in this world. And trust me, they really are everywhere. Don’t let yourself be burned by them.
Narcs have the mindset of "the haves and the have nots". If you are happy w out the narc, the narc becomes a have not. The narc breaks your happiness so they can raise themselves up.
Definitely true.
Whenever my arc and I are arguing, he will always say, "see, this is why everybody is always mad at you.". He always brings others into it that have nothing to do with what we're arguing about.
Never JADE a narcissist. Justify, argue defend or explain. It is a waste of time. You are just giving them what they want, which is narcissistic supply.
@@shebakali6 You are absolutely right. Thank you!
@@brendaleverick3655 your welcome. I have many techniques bc I am temporarily stuck living with one. #1. Grey rock. Don’t show positive or negative emotions. #2, keep a daily journal for insights on dealing with them and your feelings. 3. Reprogram your subconscious with positive affirmations (“ I only connect with normal and healthy people, I please myself first, I invest in my own self first, I love myself unconditionally, etc). 4. Quantify the time you spend with them. For ex, if you have to spend 3 hours in one day, try to have very minimal contact for the next 3 days. 5. Develop the spiritual practice of mouna. (Silence). So that means you don’t have to listen or speak for a certain time or on certain days. 6. Earplugs. Cover your ears with hair if you can. Their drama making is almost comical when you hear it muffled. 6. Develop meditation practice to neutralize negativity. I put mine gently into a dumpster and the dumpster dumps her into the dump and I say, god deal with her bc I can’t. Then I replace that scene with a nice visual and add sounds, colours etc. 7. When they start their drama, Say you have to urgently go to the washroom. Use any technique that you can to stop thinking of them. In a month you will notice a big difference. Hope this helps 🙏🏾
@@shebakali6 Yes, thanks!
Just say, no I don't see, and tell him to take an online logic course because it's impossible for "everyone" to think the same about you.
I wonder whether any narcissist has ever prompted so much supply that they got put in the hospital. AFAF
Combustion 💥🤬🤬☠️💥⚠️
Awful!
Yes I was dealing with one financially and we broke communication for about 2 to 3 weeks and when we connected again he told me he was in the hospital some thing to do with his heart ❤ and he couldn't take it any longer he still owes me money to this day I think he said he's getting out of that kind of work capital one figured it out with me there was fraud going on and there was another this one was a woman this was a similar situation she also couldn't take it any longer and she turned her self into a retreat for a couple of weeks she came back but I stopped dealing with her she still owes me a lot of money
@@RebeccaZungEsq To be clear, I was being facetious
Truth, and facts. "What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine." And "I'm gonna move things around and make you think you are going crazy." Watch out for these code words!
I’ve been rinsed by my gf and her kid and when I needed their help they ran to the hills…. It’s what narcs do, use you and when they can’t use you no more they get rid of you.
Truth they love provoking me for sure !
So totally true.
You totally described my husband, I call him a 2 year old toddler that has a tantrum when he doesn’t get his way. 😁
Same here
What's really fun is when they get older and this behavior becomes more revolting and obnoxious at the same time they gain weight, go bald and lose their good looks. In my case it was like going from being married to a young and handsome Burt Reynolds, to an old and ugly Uncle Fester. With the secondary mentality of a mean and comically malicicous 10 year old like Pugsly (Adams Family). He actually thinks its funny to fart over and over when in my company (a form of disrespect) and act obnoxiously silly in a childish way yet subtley mean at the same time, like a Jim Carey skit. I feel trapped and miserable at this stage in life when I have somewhat healed and grown (from childhood narc abuse from a covert narc mother). Been no contact with family of origin for 10 years, parents are now dead and the previously (intermittetly) hidden narc in husband is fully "blooming" now.
Narcissists are like impudent imps always looking for a thrill at someone elses' expense. When they get a new supply they are jolly dang gleeful due to the cruel damage caused by them of the discarded supply and the admiration of the new supply.
Yep. Awful.
I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that these people carry on like this
So glad I finally understand that they enjoy watching you squirm because I am totally grey rock and don't let them get to me anymore. They're sick and I'm so disgusted. Soo much needless suffering I've been through since childhood 😡. Grew up and married a covert. I'm being well educated and taking corrective action
Miss Ruth these people are more than sick they are demon possess .God is great put your trust in him.You be ok take care stay bless.shelly from trinidad Caribbean.
Sending you light
That wake up moment is so glorious. To know it has a name and you are not alone!
They are parasitic, very destructive. Walk away, and you will cut their supply, and they will self-destroyed through mental deterioration. Watch the show.
“YES!!!!”, you’re absolutely correct every time I cared less of what he would talk to me about the more he would blow up and I would just keep my posture calm cool collective.. I never allowed him to destroy my piece
peace: calm, happy
piece: a piece of cloth
I don't think Narcissists are highly skilled at figuring out your weaknesses.
They Watch, Listen and Study you for that purpose!
Yup!
100% they do enjoy it, and you can see it in their faces. I think they get off on people's anxiety and helplessness. Like a power-trip. Thank you
Truth, she tells me that no one will ever love me like she did.
My narc ex husband said the same thing when I escaped his clutches. He also said no man would be as good in bed as he was! Arrogant, pompous jerk.
All lies!
Thank God.
@@debrabostwick2250 , I am being told the same thing but I really believe he is right about that nobody will ever love me again I am very savaged person now but I'd rather be alone than keep going through this i think . Working on it now . Pray for me please I am a handicapped woman and that's constantly used against me now . Je broke me and plays the victim because of this now . Makes me sick to my stomach , honestly .
@@kiyokowilkinson158 you are more worthy of being loved again then he will ever be. I will keep you in my positive thoughts and prayers.
I think it stems from genetics. There are too many people who were treated wonderful throughout childhood and turn out to be narcissist/sociopath and vice versa. Nature vastly trumps nurture on this one. Just my observation and opinion.
Thank you Rebecca for the professional information 😊
Glad it was helpful!
Yes, he enjoys it when I cry. He laughs at the news of anyone suffering. He thinks they're dumb.
My narcissist was not only elated by making others "squirm," but he became ecstatic anytime anyone experienced a challenge. One guy was scammed by a counterfeiter, and my narcissist couldn't wait to tell everyone. Another guy endured a serious injury, and my narcissist thoroughly enjoyed his suffering.
I know many of these demons They actually salivate 🤬at others pain Its disgusting....
Horrible!
@@lovewhitey2027 true 💯
My ex narc laughs or giggles when someone sustains an injury. Now I know why. WTF
My sister loves when others squirm and brags about it to me. I sit there in shock time after time.
What i have learned as well is that they want you to be in the mood that they want you to be in..
This explains all my old employers.
That was a shocker to me ... did not recognize that I was crying and did not care.
So true. No empathy if you're crying. Wowwww. I forgot that one
💯 % Everything you said is on 🎯. He always acts like a toddler. Just happened on Mother’s Day any Holiday, they have to ruin the day. I have been putting up with his crap for over 30 years. He’s controlled my life to the point I have no confidence and he had kept me from working and I have no means to provide to live a life the same income as I do now if I leave him. My daughter can’t stand her father and has begged me to leave him and divorce.....nothing more that I would like to do then to get out but I can’t see a way how. Every day he abuses my children and me.
Sending you light. Come join me on my free webinar if you’d like too.
Welcome to my world ! 😔
Give yourself permission to set a goal for yourself and chase after it relentlessly. Don’t stay. Your daughter may continue the pattern. I did because I watched my mother ignore me begging her to leave since I was 3, and it ends with my daughter. Stop the pain cycle
I feel you. I’m going through this as well and feel regret for not leaving. I feel my children have been affected by this their whole life. He will berate, ignore and dismiss me right in front of them. Like I don’t even exist. So I was just told by my daughter why do I keep trying? You both don’t like each other. It hurts bc inside I’ll always love him and thought it could get better but 26 years of marriage later nothing has changed. The guilt feelings I have about how my kids have lived their life upsets me so much. We can never get those years back.
Could it be possible that people who display these narcissistic gaslighting behaviours may actually be demonically possesed or is it more probable that they have been harmed, caused trauma and damaged at an early age and this type of behaviour just sticks as learnt behaviour or defensive and coping behaviours, .. ?
Yes yes they love seeing us heartbroken and hurt 💔 I agree and ruining holidays and getting us jealous just to make us feel down 💔 it's so hard to live with them
This is spot on. I'm having a difficult time not feeling guilty about even knowing
Gina Spradlin,You don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
I actually celebrate my birthday and holidays on days other than the holiday because for the being ruined by the narc. No it's not the same but I feel like that way I say ok redo.
The truth here is that Rebecca has hit another cognitive dissonance obliterating, trauma bond ending, its not you, its them, game winning home run ! Great video !
Thank you! So glad it's working for you!
Oh yeah!!! It's a neighbor and since I won't let her in she keeps trying to get me upset lol she can't move me not even an inch lmao
Rebecca, you're smarter than me, but I'm sick of what sounds like a communal rationalization from MANY in the anti-narcissist community of "they're just trying to survive." Nah, it's pure sadism. Stop making excuses for these losers. I knew a few of them and their childhood was good enough. Curiosity did not only kill the cat, so did sympathy!
LOL. I'm definitely not saying it for that reason. Just more for understanding why they act the way that they do so that we can all plan and strategize accordingly. :)
This video helped calm me down from calling out my ex, and how he's handled bringing new people around our son. I know he's doing it to get a rise out of me, but it's heartbreaking that he's choosing others over spending time with his kid.
Describing my father again he acts just like your describing !
Ughh! Sending you light.
Truth 💯💯💯
Rebecca you don't know how you have saved my life. It's easy for you to just make a video and upload it but for someone like me to find this specific information makes all the difference in my life. Getting saved from trauma and domestic abuse is what I have achieved from your education. Thank you for this. God bless you.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Spot on , they need to have a supply and will create a situation, and find something that upsets or annoys you and they are like a person with a stick and they will keep poking you ,until you either ignore or until
they get a reaction from you,and I caught one out because of the smile afterwards.
Seems after upsetting anyone ,they seem happier and smiling while they know that you are now upset .
They can flirt , and wait for your reaction and then say you’re a lier ,they will always play the victim.
.
Narcissism best describes the world leaders and people in prominent positions of power_ and due to the endless thirst for control and admiration and in order to quench their greed for worship_ like mindless beast will destroy_ harm and hurt anyone that does not submit to their very ill will and will disregard any intent of peaceful process_ singer Carley Simon and her song : you're so vain ( 1971 ) is a very close discription of a Narcissist ....
Totally
Truth. They are really super sick people, who take pleasure in tormenting others. Its a game for them. My sister is one of them, and dealing with her is like talking to a pit viper.
@@kathykirkham9656 narcissist hold the real title of the mask_ and because they are mind voided_ are very dangerous_ they feed off the suffering of others
Truth 100%
I don’t know I think mine did it because he want ed to provoke me to say I was crazy - he had an AGENDA ... and I would freak out because there were signs he was not who he pretended to be which he clearly hid - but he would gaslight me and say I was imagining things etc etc
you can always fix crazy....narcs can't be fixed sad to say.
TRUE , My Mom loves stirring up shit,. Talking smack about everyone behind there back ,. And yes you are correct about all of it !
They take jabs at you on fb. They'll post songs about f you one minute and 5 mins later they post a Pic of how sad they are and how their heart still remembers the past etc.
I have a Pic that I'd goto each year on the anniversary of our little one we lost during a MC in 2015. I left a heartfelt message on it in May 5th. And I was talking about how I'd go out I to the world and see other dads with their sons having fun, made me feel bad etc.
2 days later she posts a music video with this guy so going about love and moving their clothes into your closet and there's all these children running around him laughing and he's looking at the camera singing and smiling being happy etc. It legit felt like a jab at me. But I didn't know if I was just asking it personally or what. But it felt like a passive aggressive jab at me. Knowing I'd watch the yt video and see all that.
I went 24 hrs of not seeing her fb and definitely felt recovered and better. That burn of seeing that and her roller blading and swimming as if nothing happened hurt so bad that it's a reminder to not even open fb..
it’s definitely about you. Once you become a target, their whole life revolves around you. Once you get away they become depressed af because they have to find someone else to pick on.
Truth. Some of them treat you like a toddler because they're afraid you'll find out they're still a toddler.
TRUE! This soon to be ex-husband is such pain on my neck and arms. I literally feel physically sick from his abusive patterns. I hope this divorce process gets to be done soon. I am very emotionally overwhelmed with having to represent myself for my own divorce.
Thank you so much for all the information you provide.
TRUTH💯
"You're treating me like your enemy and I don't know why!" (as he wished harm on my dog, bring up my past traumas randomly, literally telling me I don't have the right to my own autonomy, ect)
Scariest time of my life (which says A LOT). It came into undeniable clarity when I heard my "man" talking about "beating" me and KILLING me when (I assume) he thought I was sleeping. (I was in the room, he was in the living room, and you could hear very easily.) "No, no. Babe, that's not me. You know it's not. It's a demon!" Yup sure was. Except they're one in the same.
Yes…. 🙌🏻 I don’t know why you hate me or teat me this way… after they kidnapped my newborn baby 😩
@@stephaniemathieson9910 so sorry. I can't imagine
TRUTH!
Sadly it does seem that way whether it is a parent or boss, it is like they never grew up from the child games.
Heike,You look gorgeous 🌷🌹,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
I’m married to one. I’m in a living hell. She is insane.
TRUTH! Thank you for all you share! Love your videos!💜🙏
Dee,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!!
Truth. Grey rock your way away from them. ASAP
I know one who sat his 3 year old son on the counter top and said I am not your daddy anymore. He was breaking up with his wife at the time and his son was just crying his eyes out and sure enough he triggered his wife watching in horror.
Yes and put you down make you feel like your not good enough
Yes you’re absolutely right about their wanting the Total Control!!
truth. Thanks again Rebecca.
They do remind me of toddlers now that you mention it. 😅
Yep. Exactly.
I actually witnessed my ex acting like a child with his 18 year old stepson, and I thought wtf is he doing, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. They truly are mad.
TRUTH! THANKS, REBECCA ZUNG😀
Yes they do love provoking me Rebecca !
Ugh! Sending you strength!
Truth!
Truth! I am so glad that you mentioned gift-giving! The narcissist that I know is the biggest gift giver ever, and sadly, this fools a few people in the family! Thank you your advice is priceless!
It's like their salary for the work they do to you, real mature, I've eaten cheese that was more mature
All about that reaction ☠️
Yup!
My mother did this to me for years. She would insult me or say something really hurtful and literally stare at my face to see a reaction. She would also complement my sister or brothers excessively (about some achievement that I had just accomplished) to purposely ignore that I had done anything impressive. It's really sadastic behavior. I cut off almost all contact 20 years ago because she started doing similar things to my daughter, who was 2 at the time.