@@metatechnologistI wish I could divorce my Narc family members I just don't come @ don't call just break free don't call them either & pray love I'm so sorry that its your Mom I'm praying for you Thank God my grandparents & my Mom was not one Thank you Jesus
When they realize that they don’t have any control over you they will try to lie to everyone around and make people around them think that you’re a bad person!
Yes thats right you are scapegoat they are called the flying monkeys. Its very biblical. Just imagine fallen angels want what we have. Kindness kills someone if they are evily intent upon you. 💃 Hope this helps. Up the light vibrations love out hard love those that act not fake act. X
That narcissist stare they give you when you "did" or "said something wrong" or something that angers them....... its like staring into the eyes of a demon....
The eyes are the window to the soul. How well I know the narcissist stare....no soul there....just dark emptiness while they plot how to get back at you.
I've seen this too many times. My ex was so good at pretending to be an angel while lying about everything. She seemed so amazing until the second she was caught in a lie...her eyes would do this thing where it was like the light behind them just flipped off like a switch. It was like all her empathy just turned off (cuz it was never real to begin with) it was so fucking disturbing. Almost like a real life nightmare
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Yeah but they like to play games even one word they will retaliate by doing something drastic for attention like assault even. In my experience you have to leave not play their game at all because the deck is stacked and you can't win.
I never knew what his was but I have had a narcissist mother all my life and my boss brought it to my attehow she was acting towards me and how she guilts me to get money or anything and now I’m wowed how well this actually works don’t feed into them that grinds the duck out of her gears but I wish me and her could have a good relationship but she said I don’t do anything for her I just re done every bit of electrical in her house from breaker box to plug ins to new fans and I work on her car I also mow her grass I mean there’s a lot but she wants money but she’ll buy drugs instead so I won’t directly give her money I buy what she needs
@@daltenmorris5072 I can relate sound like my daughter I do everything for her send her private schools she dropped now an adult still look after her and her son . She will say I never there for her never done nothing for her . I don’t give her money anymore because she does drugs with her boyfriend. So now I blocked her I’m done I’m tired
The best way to deal with them is to not give a toss... Thankfully it is possible. Takes time but one day we wke up to their shitiness... And God that feel great !!
the problem is that most of the time you can't tell someone has this psychopathy and by the time you realized, it's too late. and trying to cut ties with someone who has severe narcissistic disorder can prove to be very difficult. they will go out of their way to try and reel you in, provoke you, even do illegal or dangerous things in order to get what they want. they are not normal or rational people.
U G Official my parents were the ultimate narcissist. My father would ignore everyone unless he wanted something and my mother would just tear apart everyone especially if they do better . Both still alive and haven’t talk to them in 20 years . My older sisters are the same . Of course being the youngest I all their crap handed down . It’s tough but it’s a struggle every day
My narcissistic partner has abused me mentally and physically, emotionally as well but 2 days ago, he walked off the aeroplane after causing a scene because we weren’t seated next to each other, the stewardess took me to the back of the aeroplane and said she was away to ask him to disembark but he’d went anyway, I’ve ended up in Tenerife alone for my birthday, I’m so so thankful my daughter has organised a flight to come over and see me tomorrow
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Great! This works in your favour. While you're away, plan not to go back there and start working on the rest of your life. Write down what you want to our life to look like, then how to get this life. He's toast!
When the narcissist starts tearing you down and telling you everything that's wrong with you - which they always will - just nod & agree with everything. And when they're done, tell them you realize you're just not worthy of someone like them and you're going to do the decent thing and remove yourself from their life so they can find someone they deserve. And then wish them well & walk out.- and mean it. They don't come equipped to handle this kind of thing.
@@strangebutfunny7179 Good luck. You can do it. There's some comedy in this tactic, and this brand of humor is NOT in their repertoire. It disarms them and leaves them totally without ammunition. And you get to walk away empowered, with your head up. I tried this recently and it worked.
Yass!!..like me I'm not to play because I'm very spiritual and I'm a scorpio and will literally put him on this place. If I was to go that far I could with ease. But I hold back alot because I let the universe and karma get to him
Same here. I feel like I can remember books of shit, books that have helped me understand how fowl and intrepid these ppl really are. In fact I feel like I've shed pounds of bullshit and tumors from my mind that they tried so hard to repress.
My son is one of their flying monkeys . Difficult . He dismisses me lies threatens to keep my granddaughter from me. Took my inheritance from the Narcs. Denies it but I know.
@@suzannemorrow9987 So sad that even our own family members can be driven by greed. Let karma catch up with them whilst you enjoy living your life as a good person. Try to remember that all of the good things in life are free eg. scenic nature walks with the awe factor with true friends by your side xo
The only time I saw my ex panic was when he knew I was leaving for good and the hoover did not work..the biggest hurt for me was realizing that I knew absolutely nothing about the man I married, that he was a complete fake, a con artist liar who really did not have one drop of love or respect for me..
My stomach just turned reading this , I've been with mine for 8 years ,married 3 and living together for 1 1/2 years 😳.I don't know who this person is but it's not who I met , it's absolutely scarry what the difference is
@@BecomingFelicia Do it afraid, if you wait to be strong that moment might never come because strength usually comes after the action, not before. You’ll be surprised at how strong you are AFTER walking away.
#3 ALL THE WAY. I once played "psychic" by email, pointing out all that I "saw" in her "aura," etc. - "Something happened to you in adolescence that caused you to feel inferior to others, and you began to overcompensate." "Your aura is so thick with layers that you don't quite know who you are anymore." This was all under the guise of caring - and I never saw her or heard from her again. (They'll HIDE from you if you can pull this off!)
Its true. Please dont be and save yourself. It is not a good thing to become. You will never be fully satisfied with this caracter. I broke up with my ex 5 years ago didnt have any pity for him but i loved him. When i reached out last year , i was more mature and ready to fix things up , found out that he wasnt the same person and it was me who created this dark side of him .. then broke up with me and did everything i did to him. ( i have changed and i dont blame myself for what happened 5 years ago i was totally immature)
Roy Savage my history is different I was a person that grew up very poor, and because of that I gave everything to my daughters because I want them to have a better life, now my daughter has three kids and she had them late in her life she’ll be 48, I was there for her hand and foot gave her money gave him my time gave him my life in other words she grew up privileged, I am a senior citizen suffering so much, and because I have different opinion in the political issues both of them hate me with a passion, I thought I was allowed to think and use my brain, and if that is A crime I didn’t know I am very naïve person and I am very empath I care I’m religious and I love to help people I gave 3 gallons of blood since I was a young girl, now my daughter is torturing me mentally, I have many accidents because I was always running to help them with the babies I have five fractures in my body right now I need money to pay my rent because I had the virus and I had to get medication, I gave her all my savings naughty one time but little by little, I she won’t let me see my grandkids which they love me I don’t like to go to her house to watch them because she always has an angry face and I don’t like it, The kids love me because I play with them like I was five years old even though I have horrible arthritis and broken bones, she asked me to lend her my car, and because she ruined it the last time she used it cost me $1500, I said no I’ll drive you, she said to me she doesn’t wanna be next to me because I give her stress, she gives me stress I’m on medication right now I’m having therapy I think she’s bipolar she needs therapy and she talks to me horrible she did not Listen to me to me she made horrible choices she found a boyfriend that used her in abused her and that’s 43 she decided to have babies, and I think she hates me and she tell me I don’t exist and I need help now to pay my rent she said no and I have to sell my jewelry the little bit that I have because she took some it, it’s true I lost all my friends she told everybody that I was a bad mother that I used to beat them they believe her because she talks to them with honey, even my best friend she’s always reproaching me telling me she loves you, do you know why because she talks to her like oh how are you Kissy Kissy, so now the only person I can speak to is my sister because she knows my situation and because my daughter also rejected her, I never had grandparents because they stayed in the old country my grandkids have a grandmother who adore them she doesn’t want me to see them, please answer me, but don’t make it public because I’m afraid of her!!!
I don’t tell her what she says to everybody I’m a liar to her own father she brainwashed him and I’m Father’s Day she gave me a card saying happy Father’s Day mother because you were my mother and my father I love you, she forgot all the good things I did for them because I took the key from my apartment and I don’t give her the car anymore because she ruined it and now I don’t have money she hates me!!!
I exposed her and she told everybody my political view now they all run away from me like I’m a monster or I have leprosy it’s horrible you want or I can do that to a mother who grew up so poor so poor, when I came to this country at 16 was the first time I heard TV FrigidaireAnd a birthday cake I never heard that before that’s why I gave them everything I wanted to be a good mother I didn’t know I was doing something wrong in my heart I thought it was doing them a favor to have a piano in ballet and sweet 16 so many things I gave them no I’m all alone
Once you call them out and they realize they cannot manipulate you, control the narrative & lose their flying monkeys they will drop you like a hot potato. It's been 8 glorious years since the hubby, his brother & wife & I have had to deal with the mother-in-law. The rest of the family kept telling her to fix it but if she did then she would have to admit her actions and again, it's been 8 years. =)
I couldn’t agree more. I’ve been married to mine for 14 years and I have a kid with him but I’ve finally woken up after finally having the last piece of my inner self robbed from me and destroyed. I’ve filed for a divorce (first time taking it that far). But once I get out from his grip, I don’t ever want to see his face or even speak his name again. His son doesn’t even like him as a person, at all. And my boy is the sweetest and shyest kid if that tells you anything t about the quality of my hush band’s character. Unfortunately, my son was smart enough to figure out that his dad never wanted anything to do with him, he was only a tool to keep me at home and dependent on the narcissist who also refused to allow me to work and no access to the finances and was made to ask for money here and there. It was all how he so perfectly crafted my artificial world to keep me bottled up inside. I’ve had a couple black eyes along the way as well and I look at myself every day wondering how this could’ve happened to me. “Why am I here?” I ask because I was always a free spirit and I depended on no one before him. When me and my husband got together, he actually moved into my downtown Tulsa apartment. I used to be so proud of my work ethic and my ambition. I was going places for sure! Now I’m 40 and I feel like a useless failure in all but being a mother. I try not to ever let my boy know that I’m so broken inside and I always put on a smile for him and comfort him when his dad is yelling and saying awe full things about me in front of him. It’s no wonder he hates him I guess. I’ve made excuses for his dad long enough. I’m not religious for obvious reasons, but if you are and it works, please give a prayer for me and my boy as well as all the other moms and dads trapped in abusive relationships with psychotic narcissist spouses. We need a god to help us achieve what feels impossible, leaving in one piece.
Oh god, what if I have been honest abt my feeling while he was in denial and don't want to be blamed at all. I was willing to take the blame because I realized there is no good arguing with a fool or egoist. I just want to walk away. So how to fix this. Help me guys.
Oh God! They are always sick. It's the feeling sorry, victimhood. But only in front of people who tolerate it. It's really, really hard not to call them out on this.
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And some people also have chronic illnesses... This is a perfect example of why that was a terribly ableist trope to drag out. GQ public LOVES to hate on people with disabilities. Case in point.
This is both an annoying and entertaining thing to witness. They'll start rambling hoping to confuse you as they change the subject. Then they'll accuse you of changing the subject when you make it known that they're the ones drifting.
@@yoseflopez4897 wow! It's as if I wrote this comment!! I am EXHAUSTED from keeping up w/his lie, after lie, after lie--just to then listen to him weasel his was around trying to change the topic...ugh 😠😢
@@juliebeebe34 What I started doing is remembering the original topic and the first new topic they drifted off to. That way when they starting accusing I would just say "No, actually...", then they sometimes respond with the whole "Are you calling me a liar?" crap. Lol this is where I would just say "yes" so they could just ramble themselves out of the argument.
@@yoseflopez4897 oh? Very smart! Yesterday, during a "run-around argument", I call them, I spouted out, "I should grap a pen & paper, so I can keep track of the original argument starter", LOL
Never underestimate the fact that a narcissist will always destroy themselves in the long run it may not happen in your lifetime or in the time you know them but Mark my words they find their downfall downfall soon enough
Truer words never spoken. Especially if you know their life & how miserable they are it's best to let them wallow in their misery & move on so they don't take you under when you're in their fortress.
I think my brother will kill me , so I wont see that happening (he tried doing that when I was a baby... He is not only a narcissist, but and insane and very agressive + childish one)
@@mightyseagoat6874 smh the worst combination. I've recently discovered some people are aware something is off with my narcissist but don't exactly know but a few people are skeptical of them despite being cordial and the narc being super friendly with them. I had no clue people were suspect of her. I'm glad they are and I hope she gets exposed and gets help she desperately needs it.
@@Respect2theFallen you mean your sister? (You said "her") My brother for example pretends to be super friendly with people , so does my mothwr , but when they are together they talk sh*t about everyone, the worst. They are very aggresive at home and abusive. Making drama about everything. Caring a lot about appearances etc
Dusti- I was married for 31 years to a covert- narrisst. He committed perjury in court on 3 accounts. I got almost nothing!!! I'm disabled from his abuse and he lied about the amount of home and used a tax asserors amount instead oil f the true amount of 195,400. Please be careful they will use adult children against you!!! Narrisst always play the victim!!!
If you provide enough documented evidences, they will be stunned. It helped tremendously in my case. And Do not listen to their denials. After showing the evidences, leave them for good.
I might need to add that I face da group of narc fam, buat some of them are normal. So, the evidences stunned the narc, make them panicked because they were exposed, and let the normals contemplated of what the narcs have done to my family. For individual narc, this might not be very effective. I agree...
yeah I hate when they do that. Like lying about something as benign as what type of bread they ate in the morning. It serves no purpose to lie about, but they get so giddy when you were silly enough to "believe" that they ate rye bread instead of whole grain! They then call you so gullible and stupid for falling for it. lol. they're like 5 year olds
yep, remember mine waving an engraved keyring at me, telling me his daughter got him it. No prompting. It was a really odd engraved message, not appropriate between father and daughter. I began to think he had some weird relationship with her but didn't question it. Can't believe I didn't cotton on that he was married but I didn't. He was smarter than me I guess. If smart is being a lying psycho and dumb is being trusting.
OMG, Right!?!?!?! I am juuuuust about to lose my crap, due to mostly just the lying alone! How on Earth can he look me right in the eyes, so effortlessly, and lie and lie and lie....even after being caught in such a small, stupid lie?!?!? 🙃 😢
I feel the same. I just wonder if he believed his narrative. But I know he doesn’t. Bc, if he told me that this person or that person was there & heard it his way, I would be like, oh wow. I’m sorry. But he just says they’re crazy or liars. If I have a recording to prove I didn’t say something, he hears that he was wrong, I didn’t.. He will switch to telling me how I pushed his buttons to make him sound bad on the recording & there we go arguing about me defending myself
Brutal Honesty. I was born that way... 😆 Pushing back. Exposing them.... all good. But you have to be very careful when exposing a narcissist. There will always be a come back. Losing control, exactly! Isn't it simply the best thing to just ignore them, avoid them, and go no contact as far as possible? If it is family or friends, it might be a bit easier than a spouse!
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natalie fox after 32 years with my husband since age of 18, I have validation too. I never knew about this stuff back then and I am now educating myself and hopefully move on and far away.
Mine exhusband, father to my kids. Together 30 yrs. Still living w him because I got screwed in divorce and homeless and co. Parenting 17 and 12 yr old .he is so abusive because he doesn't want me living w him. But my 12 yr old daughter needs me
Having no reaction anymore...that works, you know they're gaslighting so answering with one word like K or , sorry you feel that way ect. They really know you know by then.
@ lil winged i have noticed this in the comments quite often so thought i might clarify, etc is the abbreviation for etcetera not ect. Are you from the US?
Used to go toe to toe with my ex wife who’s also a narcissist. It just ended in me getting cussed out and alienated in the process. Ended up trying the grey rock method and it worked much better. We have kids together so it’s a lot harder to navigate the dynamics but not making myself so accessible and workings on myself, mentally physically and spiritually helped empower me to stand firm in my beliefs
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me-me Adams yes and that made me start to cry reading what I already tell myself all the time. That’s the hardest part...they punish love that it what I call evil
I dated a covert narcissist for 6 years. Covert narcissist are the worse. They lie for everything, they make you believe a whole different new story, they manipulate you, they act like the victim around others, they give you the silent treatment, they leave you once they have another supply, they blame you for everything that happened in the relationship. They don't love anybody they just love themselves. They hate being exposed on social media because its like taking their real mask off.
Thank you unfortunately he's still my daughter's Dad and she avoids him as much as politely possible. I haven't seen him in a year now and am grateful for the peace.
Mine had a full-blown panic attack on the stand during cross-examination. The lies he told were presented to him & it was a beautiful thing. It was 3 days. I refused to look at him & I had zero reaction to him. Drove him crazy. LOL!
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AliensAnonymous Talk about your accomplishments, every friend that you have who they don't know, what a great yesterday you had, how well you slept, & how great today is going to be because "I'm not going to let anything or anyone mess with MY great day." The narcissist can't handle it. They'll immediately react. Their wheels will start turning immediately as they quickly attempt of something to say, something, anything negative. As soon as the first negative word comes out & long before they can finish, bluntly & boldly interrupt them with a smile, the biggest smile you've ever smiled, & say, Oh no, I'm not letting anything or anyone sour my day. Love you, but gotta go enjoy my day & love life. Smile even greater, then turn & walk away. And if they try to interrupt with another negative. Cover your ears & remember walk away. They can't handle not being in control of the conversation. They can't handle you being happy. And they can't handle be dismissed or ignored. And if you want to rub it in, just before you go through the exit door or are out of earshot, turn once again toward them with, again, your very biggest smile & boldly wave saying "I hope your day is just as great as mine. They will just about lose it once you are gone. They'll be sad, mad, aggravated, confused, enraged, & they'll even feel abused. And in the onslaught of all of these emotions, they'll panic, because have no current control & can't figure you out to regain the control they had thought that they had approached the conversation with.
If that's the case you need to start self-analyzing to see why you haven't start to acknowledge to yourself when you see the signs and haven't learned to drop them right them and there the minute you see the signs. Stop being so optomistic. If someone seems like a bad person, trust your instinct. They are.
@@quickseevee3509 Who says I haven’t? They are energy vampires who zone in to anyone who has an empathetic personality and are compassionate. They are the gum on the shoe of life.
There might have been a time where I wanted to take the wind out of my narcissist's sails, but that isn't my desire any more. Continuing to engage and play all the games isn't what I want to do. I'd rather exit stage left and get on with my life. Difficult for sure as this person is a family member. I'm done with all this nonsense. Seriously, no one is worth your inner peace, no one!
Unfortunately, for some, such as myself, there remains legal connections that must be dealt with. The narcissist continues to try to manipulate, control, and intimidate in connection to those situations and people. For me, once our youngest turns 18 in a few months and whenever this dang house is sold, I will no longer need or want to "take the wind out of my narcissist's sails". Until then I must protect myself by using cold, hard numbers as facts to prevent a judge from forcing me to pay the narcissist lots of money I don't have. I engage only when forced, and at least for me, this is not playing any sort of game but instead protecting myself and my assets, small may they be, from being unjustly confiscated. I look forward to the day there is no more reason, (other than to collect on the court ordered life insurance policy I have on him), to engage with him in any manner.
@@redlover5088 use Clarity and come out smiling. Bless you on your journey of self discovery. Use everything even the worst, as a learning experience. Try as much not to take things these Demons do personally. This is the aspect that keeps us stuck to their negativity. We are all meant to live safe & happily, some just can't see this in their life.
Yup. I had to let my son and grandchildren go. His narc wife has kept us in an uproar for 13 years. I told him she's a narcissist. He knows but he stays so I'm done!!
Work on yourself, don't work on others. Emotionally mature people walk away from abusive people, that includes narcissists. Enlightened people have no desire to make another person panic, or to control them, in any way.
HEY! You have been in a 12 step program! I am powerless against ................. There is a higher power greater than your self that can change YOU while taking care of the other person. Wow, thank goodness for healthy People in delightful comments on TH-cam. Cheers to healthyness. 👍
@Marc this describes my personality when I've dealt with a narc. Leave them lost and confused thinking why didn't their evil games work on me. I've actually become a professional narc detective from dealing with so many.
They are kind of people that accuse you of what they themselves are guilty of doing. The best way to get them out of your life is to block all contacts with them. They are not worth your time nor energy.
I know and get what ur saying. So weird when they do all the certain things and then accuse you of it. This happens all the time with the Narc in my pleasantly divorced life. Yahoo so glad to be divorced only 5 more years till my daughter is 18. Counting down!! Then no more anything.
I’m so happy that my ex is gone!!! He took all the gifts from my daughter just because he wanted to take control of our happy Christmas!!! He chocked me while my daughter watched!! Almost killing me!!! All because I kept it real with him!!! Let’s just say he is no longer with me because I stopped giving him supply!!! Yes my ex from hell!!! Thank god he’s gone lord and I’m finally free from the narcissist after 3 years of hell!!!💯💯
Totally! 1. Gaslighting .2. They lie about trivial issues. 3. Intimidation tactics; they make threats. 4. Triangulation. They make you think that everyone is against you and for them. They are the most scaredy-cats on the planet. They need attention and are super afraid. What causes panic in narc? 1. Honesty stuns them. 2. Pushback. 3. Exposing them. 4. Losing control in anyway.
You are exactly right! Had a supervisor love bomb me and then then discard me when she realized she could not control me and manipulate me. She attempted to triangulate coworkers including her supervisor.
Making a narc panic will result in the narc displaying a higher level of heinousness toward you. You'll be astounded when you witness how depraved they really are.
I think that too, they get their kicks off of one upping you, and they're really good at it!! they've had alot of experience and practice. Best tactic is to cut ties, and stand firm with the decision. You'll be at risk of turning into a monster yourself if you play the game with them.
Totally! I was married to a true master manipulator. It took me many years to figure him out, and I finally stopped participating in the myriad head games. It crushed him, and our 27-year marriage ended. My life has been completely happy since then!
Lynda Barritt Congratulations! You were smart to not give him “fuel” or narcissistic supply...that’s why he wanted to end the marriage. You were no longer useful! Enjoy your freedoms and stay happy! ❤️
I was love-bombed by a narcissist last night. It was the empties hug I have ever received. You were right. All my ducks will be in a row the next time I see her and her flying monkey. Thank you for your help!!
Totally!My elder brother & his wife are narcissists . Have been bullying & gaslighting mesince I was 12 years old. I’m now 61 years old now. Finally I realizec I can’t be wrong all thetime.
@@Always0110 we were 17 and 18 so it's been 45 years. We got married 5 months after we met and I wasn't pregnant just stupid. I had wonderful parents and a big loving family. He grew up with the abused parents from abused parents and so on.
I've dealt w/many narcissists in my life. I'm an empath so they flock to me as if i'm a magnet. I will eventually feel very uneasy & i will leave. I've been learning since how to recognize a narcassist....thank gawd!
@Vitelotte Perhaps you can help them heal themselves, but only through being stern to them, bluntly telling them the truth about themselves, exposing them to others deliberately, showing them that you don't care the least about their gaslighting, lies and tantrums, that you don't need them in any way, but that you *still* care about them as people. Teach them what is worthy of respect and what is only worthy of contempt. Flip their sick worldview and mentality by force. If it doesn't work, then just give up on them, and don't feel bad about it. They are responsible for their own miserable state, while you are not, this is true even though they shy away from their responsibility.
Totally! I got manipulated into buying a home, having a child and getting married all so she could return to not working, not helping and physically beating me until it hurt less to leave than stay. Only connected the dots in last two weeks and trying to know how to cope
This is very common for women. They get married have kids buy a house then they kick the husband out and get custody of the kids so they get to keep the house. Men need to call this out so women know we know.
Many women want a divorce because they dont get any help from the husband with raising the kids. They are exhausted and desperate and the husband is like another child that they have to take care off. Than they figure that they might as well just raise them by themselves because they are already doing it alone anyway. Many men still see women as a their maid, nanny, sextoy and mother. Wheres the respect.Ofcourse there will also be women who are really bad and manipulative but the majority of women just dont accept this treatment anymore.@@NoName-zb1gm
Taking care of children and the house is also work. Im worried about the child if shes this agressive. I hope shell not use the child to hurt you. Good that you got away.
the only way to deal with a narcissist is to cut all contact with them.and everyone else involved. Do not get sucked into playing their game it will just become an endless cycle.
Amen. Just walk away. The frustration is real. I highly question the state of those who may want to exact revenge on someone, even a narcissist. Just move on and heal yourself.
Narcissists don't have friends, they have token relationships, all based on manipulation, lies, and deception. I have a sister who is a Sociopath/Narcissist and, to listen to her speak, she's the sweetest most caring person you'll ever know. And therein lies the manipulation, because she'll never let you know who she truly is. On the surface, they're great actors, always spinning a story and developing their next opportunity to ride in on their white horse, saving the day or coming to the rescue of someone in need. That's how they gain your confidence and trust ...to be used against you at a later time when you recognize and threaten to expose the truth of who THEY are. Distancing yourself from these people is one option, but my preferred method is to burn the bridge after you're on the other side of the valley.
SAY IT!!!! 👍👍YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT - to a tee. I experienced all of what you just mentioned. My advise is: ALWAYS figure out how to run run run & not know these people once you discover they are Narcassist. Normal people OR other less tramatizing per- sonality disorders ,you can kind of dance around with their issues,but NEVER EVER a Narcassist (no matter what kind).View them as a quiet "fake-fun" undercurrent tsnumi Katrina LION SNAKE storm. If your peace of mind or comfort is not maintained at 75-80% at all times always keep a wedge & a " powerful threat" between you &L them,no matter who they are. In the long run they are the WORST people I've ever met.i have no time to describe all of what they do. It's very interesting when you know 7 of them at the same time& all of them are doing the same things at the same time,all the time, but don't know each other.???!!!🥴Peace & Best wishes.
I have a daughter who is a narcissist and I dont talk to her at all. I have to love her from a distance bc I dont like the way she treats me or everybody else.
Driving me crazy is right. I’ve been able to hold my peace more and more but I still erupt at times. I’m moving because this to a place I really can’t afford but as soon as I’m away from all this I’ll quickly thrive.
I am just coming out of 3 1/2 yrs with be a narcissist. Oh my God these people are so toxic. Everything you have mentioned ive been through. Now I'm left with picking up the pieces and healing
Narcissists hate sarcasm lol it’s like walking on thin ice all day everyday. They wake up in the morning sad and unhappy and blame you even if you’re nice to them all the time and supportive. It’s weird..
Wait... they hate Sarcasm? Cuz I am just now cutting ties with a narcissist... and he literally couldn't tell when I was being sarcastic,... he always thought I was being serious... and I had to literally tell him, "I"m totally joking, you can't tell by my sarcastic tone and cartoon like voice?" He literally couldn't tell at all... is this what you are talking about???
@@nikkikells8791 When I was 28 years old I asked my mother why she was so mean to me... she literally said "it was because I was good at everything I did... because I worked hard at everything I did... Because we couldn't stand to see your success... and on top of it, You were nice!!! We hated it!!" I've learned the super hard way, "Run from Narcassists!!! They will dEstroy you!!"
If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes! Woohoo! www.icanslay.com 🌀✨
Intimidation is a HUGE one with "mine". Here are his threats: I'll turn your bank card off. Dont touch MY money or ill slit your throat (meanwhile has NO problem spending any money i have contributed and conveniently forgets i ever have) If you leave i will destroy you to all your people You better hope your people (insert names) can protect you. Bet they can't. I'll go f*** any b**** and as many b****** as I want. I don't NEED you to cheat. (I always want to say duh...who does? Thats why it's called cheating) I'll punch you in your fat, ugly face. I'll beat your fat a** It goes on and on and on....it's a MISERABLE existence and only gets worse the more they take from you. And they WILL do anything to keep you from escaping once they have you. Yes they discard, but if they can keep you trapped they will...
I experienced everything of these. Then I had my first depression, lost myself and after a hard fight I realized it wasn’t me, it's not my fault. My narcissistic husband tried to destroy everything in me...he broke my spirit completly. Now I'm getting better, I'm working on myself everyday. Thank you with all of my heart for all videos and tips ❤🙏🏻 Everything is so true !
You took the words right out of my mouth. My family and friends tried to talk to me but I didn't see it or listen. 12 years later I finally saw it. They were SO right!
That was me too! I was very depressed before I left him. I've been free from him for almost 5 years now. Though, honestly, it took about a year, after I left, for me to truly feel like he held no power over me anymore. I have had an AMAZING man in my life for over 3 years now. He is so kind, affectionate, good with my daughters, a hard worker, and strong! I am extremely grateful!
36 yrs and now going through a divorce. The minute I called her out she was gone. Moved right in with her next victim. Total denial of cheating or even living with him as a relationship. She did me a hugh favor I now see!
Same here...24 years together called him out he tries to make it all about him, and I keep bringing him back to reality...so he moves in with the origin of the lie
Don’t stop fighting for the child! My ex gf is totally a narc and always made me go insane. It’s been 3 years since we broke up and I ended up winning our custody battle and I have the kids 75% of the time and rightfully so because she is not a good mother and even worse as a partner. It costs me roughly $40k in legal and I have been a stay at hole dad for 3 years now as she moved out of state, smh. I used to have a high profile job and owned my own business but I’m glad I sacrificed it all for my kids. I’ll bounce back easily because my new GF is awesome and extremely supportive.
D C no worries I will never stop fighting. She has and always be number one forever. I have no problems going without to hive her what she needs. More and more people are seeing. I’m not the crazy ones the stories are true? Imagine that I just told them all 10 min ago I told you.
So sorry that you are going through this. when it comes to legalities they can be dangerous. Listen to your inner voice and you will know what to do. My sister-in-law had to get therapy after she divorced him. Try to ignore him and choose your battles. You have a child to take care of. They will not get any better. On the bright side they will always be alone for they are not capable of loving or being loved. It's really sad actually. Count yourself lucky that you realized it now. Peace be with you😍
I made sure my yuck could hear my every word while on the phone. I was informing a trusted friend how my hatred for it had turned into something so dark, it scared me. That I had bad thoughts and dreams of doing something to him. That I once snapped awake to find myself on the way to his place and I had a weapon I couldn't recall getting. LOFLMAO. I told her I thought my mind was going to leave me and I was scared for it to be alone with me. Said my good byes. FYI. I was pretending someone was on the phone. In reality I hadn't called anyone. About 10 minutes after ending the call. He came to me and said his mom needed him. I made no reply. His eyes were filled with terror and doubt. When its car left the driveway. I swear I fell off my chair onto the floor. Laughed so hard so long, I broke a rib!!! One of the best moments of my life. Talk about Chicken Little! Still funny
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They will tell you that you're too stupid to understand what they wrote when you present them with what they wrote, as Trump did the other day with Yamiche. All she did was quote back what he said at a recorded press conference and he went straight for her throat.
TOTALLY, ABSOLUTELY! I'm an empath that wanted to help my ex reach his goal (big mistake). I think I was basically feeling sorry for him. After 15 years of insanity, I learned to feel sorry for myself and walked away. Now after more than 30 years free, I get more done for myself on a daily basis. I find more joy while amazing myself with my efforts to improve myself and spend time with my true friends (people he had declared were not worth my time). Aah! Life is good.
Attempting to help your narc bf/gf or family member with their goals is the worst thing you can do. Their egos are the biggest and at their peak when you do so. They will use you or worst... reject your help but get mad you're not helping them even though they rejected that help and make you feel like crap.
I just broke up with mine a month ago hes never called back or anything I blocked him I don't want no part of him I'm actually hating him only because he was using me for 5 years and stole money for me I bought so much a truck about all his Equipment for work when he get the grass I bought his father stuff and I did not see that they were both using me because I was a giver. I do not understand what happened to me he knew I was a giver aninsensitive so he robbed me He was having an affair that was obviously I don't know how many times and he wanted me to sleep with Him... I am emotioning upset that I gave this man all those 5 years. Rebecca will this man ever regret what hes done to me I don't think so hes not normal and he has no empathy. What a piece of s*** hes not intelligent hes an idiot. When I met him I was very low down on myself. He pretended to be my hero and said to himself this lady has mone He owes me $7000 My brother in law wants me to cut my losses He is driving that nice truck with his new girlfriend. That is the reason why I do not want to cut my losses... His brother committed suicide and he went to the funeral only because he needed attention he never paid attention to him and I never met him. He said to me why are you crying you don't know that man. I had more feelings for that poor kid than he did. This guy is definitely a double and I was with one for so long. Please can somebody give me advice. I sent him a Gmail about narcissist and what they do to people Was that OK that I did that I did not talk to him when I threw him out and I Need some kind of closure. All the things that I did for him trying to help him he never even considered any of that and I know this is what Narcissist do.I don't want 2 c him. Every 5th month I need to collect my money I don't know what to do about this I'm afraid if he comes next to me I will hurt him this is what this man's done to me I was never a violent person but I feel so totally violated. As I'm giving him money hes f****** somebody else.. I know that there's a God theyeah that will take care of him because he has a mean soul for everybody I on the other hand care about people and I'm a giver. He just used me and I was so stupid. His father that too. His home It's all about the stuff that I bought they had a very dirty house and I did not like staying there I have my own room. He is a drunk he will find thismatch and there's going to be a bad one. I expoled them And I told him that hes a pathological liar and he was having a multiple interference He told me I was crazy I did not want to sleep with him because he was dirty. I've never told him how I felt but I did before I left him. What a sick mental person I listen to somebody's women and they don't date they're still hung up on their husbands or boyfriend b******* I'm already dating. I need to To be very careful I am doing this I do not want to be this angry inside. I love the gym because it makes me feel better. Him and his father are bad people
I forgot I also bought him a boat oh my God what was I doing. I have to go there to get my money can somebody advise me on what to do Payments for the truck that I bought. Which is supposed to be a 1000 however I'm only getting 500 so it's gonna take twice the time to pay it back I don't want him to drop me so I will continue to get my money MF I don't want to see him I'm afraid and I would not stoop down to his level I will probably send somebody over there to get my money maybe a date What do you think about that
I did this once and he became super angry then he start defending himself. At first he explains everything and make it look that you are important to them but when the devaluing phase comes he just don't give a fck and blame you for everything instead , and he will call u crazy paranoid etc then discard u then later on contact u as if nothing happens and try to lure you again to feed their ego. I'm glad i don't beg him to comeback and start to realize that he's a narcissist
That’s why my ex calls me and doesn’t want to text things regarding custody, unless it’s to incriminate me or make me look bad. I SWEAR... But that’s fine, I’m already three steps ahead and emotionally ready for what’s under his sleeves.
Giiiirl! What you said.. I have saved text messages from 2009 i still refuse to get rid of with mine.. and was able to use 179 pages of over 250 screen shots of text messages from him to win an Order of Protection.. i was the only one who needed to testify and my response was only yes sir that’s correct, yes sir that was for him... as my attorney read text after text after text from him to me to the judge and a court room full of people... it was HUMILIATING but i knew it had to be done in order to STOP the daily harassment, threats and sexual requests... My ran is def not over as we are gearing up to go back to court regarding the parenting plan i want changed.. idk if i will ever be rid of this evil man.. but I’ll be damn sure emotional ready for him.. and I’ll ensure my son is able to survive it as well! Stay strong Ladies and Gents..
I just started reading your book yesterday. It's a fascinating read and I look forward to learning some new skills. I have an ex wife who I co-grandparent four children. I left her years ago, and have had very little interaction with her for about eight years, but since we've had to look after our grandchildren, I am forced to have to deal with her again. Long story short, she is still a nightmare and is causing all sorts of tension and anxiety between my wife and the grandchildren. Believe me, she has no bounds and will make EVERYTHING as difficult as possible. Anyway, your book and it's strategies will be tested to the limit with this one. Thanks for writing it.
Totally! Having spent almost 10 years of my life with a narcissist, I can tell you this lady knows what she is talking about. I only wish I knew this information back then.
I agree, I stayed married for 30 years to my abuser. That was really stupid of me. I let him destroy half my life and my youth is gone.😔 I am in therapy to learn how to love myself cause I don't know how to live a normal life without questioning if I'm doing right or wrong. It's so sad.
I’m in a similar timeline. We’re still together, but I totally relate to the whole constant questioning yourself. Been in a heavy devaluing of me stage right now, we usually bounce back. Just remember you’re free now. You don’t have to question yourself. I wish you all the best!
Edward Black WAVE they make you feel like you’re going crazy? And they’re the only one that has enough guts/“heart” (haha gag) that’s being honest with you?
I was diagnosed with BPD and ended up with a narcissist. With my condition I have problems with abandonment and rejection, and my goodness did she play on those insecurities. It took a mountain of courage to finally leave . Thank you for these great videos. Narcissistic people are fascinating but so very dangerous and destructive
Good job. Mine is trying to figure out what will break me. He’s trying to control everything. Literally… the food I eat, to my spending. I’m doing all I can to not be dependent on him. He keeps saying that I have some brain problems etc.. which isn’t true. And big time gaslighter.
I have bpd. Have a very hard time with some women in golfclub. One in particular. Its tough. I expect she is smearing me and has her foot soldiers in on the act. I am miserable.
my ex is a narcissist and i exposed him. he really didn’t see it coming. from the moment i realised he was a narcissist i never let him manipulate and mistreat me and his son. i’ve manage to outsmart him. he’s out of my life and get what i need from him
Best way is no1-ignore them,2-not sharing any single personal information with them,3-not sharing inner feeling with them,4-dont hit their fragile ego anytime just ignore all things they do and say
I don’t see the point on fighting fire with fire with a narcissist. It’s hard enough to be in a relationship with a narcissist when you want peace, I can’t even imagine the emotional wear and tear of making it even more conflictive.
this is the most sensible thing I have heard and read here. I can almost guarantee that you'll come out as the (heavily injured) loser when trying to go against a narcissist especially in the ways suggested in this video...
It must have been a constant battle for my covert narcissist husband. He couldn't guilt me into doing things. He couldn't intimidate me. He could never make me afraid of him. But he sure tried all of that. I did end up deathly ill because I held so much in and had no good energy supply. And he was draining the life out of me. He had turned my girls against me. So I had no support. I was all alone with my abuser, until I wasn't. I packed and saved for 3 years to be able to leave. And now I am finally able to physically and emotionally heal.
Adult child living with a narrissic I was and still iam the scapgoat thank you God Bless you healing little by little I no longer feel suicidal and hopeless, worthless gaining strength every day with these videos Again God Bless You and Thank You
Hi Kendall, God loves you and All of us that is and has been going through this understand what you are going through. We love you and you are worth everything to us in this world. Hugs and prayers.
Me too for 23 yrs and in the last 18 months it has taken me to become ME again, not his robot. I quit being silent I will not live like that again it wasn't easy I wanted to die at first when I left then one day I said hell nobthis is what he wants. I lifted my ass up and kept goin. Homeless with nothing but I stayed away finally it is worth it it's like being reborn....
Theramintrees uses the anololgy of a star and a black hole. The star being the empath and the black hole being the narc. You can outshine a black hole it will eat you up.
Thank you! Lie, cheat, steal, divert, deflect, project, smear, retaliate and then play the victim. Pushing back and exposing and taking control solved a lot of problems. Better late than never.
Georgina D Long but Is the hacked material admissible in court? In some states I believe it’s considered an invasion of privacy & all of that information will just be thrown out & then you get in trouble- not the narc 🤦♀️🙄
In all of these advise videos, no has commented, ‘I love what the narc is doing to me. This is the life I want.’ Thank you for these videos, however, the best thing to do is RUUUNNNNN!!! Don’t walk, just Runnnnn
What's funny is that when she describes these symptoms, it reminds me of Republicans.. so in reality you can't run away because they are everywhere and can be anyone at work, school, family, friends.. wow.. of course narcs can be any political side. Brian Laundrie's parents are Democrats.. but, I'm just basing it on what I see a lot in the comments, the media, how people conduct themselves on their YT channels, on social media, and the political arena
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Can you help me divorce my mother??
Great video, thank you!
Ive been with a narcissistwife for 10 years.
TOTALLY.... Yes Lord now my 11yr old who lives with him is afraid & I don't have help with saving my son
@@metatechnologistI wish I could divorce my Narc family members I just don't come @ don't call just break free don't call them either & pray love I'm so sorry that its your Mom I'm praying for you Thank God my grandparents & my Mom was not one Thank you Jesus
When they realize that they don’t have any control over you they will try to lie to everyone around and make people around them think that you’re a bad person!
Yes Emmy Lee,...so true..."Divide and conquer' that's one of their main ploys
Yes thats right you are scapegoat they are called the flying monkeys. Its very biblical. Just imagine fallen angels want what we have. Kindness kills someone if they are evily intent upon you. 💃 Hope this helps. Up the light vibrations love out hard love those that act not fake act. X
I’m married to one. I need help getting rid of him
@@lisamidgett664 leave him no excuses
@@yourboiD he is a walking excuse
That narcissist stare they give you when you "did" or "said something wrong" or something that angers them....... its like staring into the eyes of a demon....
The eyes are the window to the soul. How well I know the narcissist stare....no soul there....just dark emptiness while they plot how to get back at you.
I totally agree
I've seen this too many times. My ex was so good at pretending to be an angel while lying about everything. She seemed so amazing until the second she was caught in a lie...her eyes would do this thing where it was like the light behind them just flipped off like a switch. It was like all her empathy just turned off (cuz it was never real to begin with) it was so fucking disturbing. Almost like a real life nightmare
Been there, done that. Didn't know what I was seeing at the time, like looking at two dark holes where her eyes used to be.
Omg yes! I told him once, “you should look at yourself in the mirror” look at you-yourself. He walked away. 1st time I ever saw this on him.
My advise is dont play games with a narcissist. Just walk out the door and say a permanent good bye.
@@RebeccaZungEsq unfortunately easier said than done if you have little kids with them! :(
@@jessy1554 exactly.. The more I watch these videos, the more I see why my mother suffered so much in her marriage. Even though I respect my father.
Yes.
You can play a little but be smart .. it's good to give them a taste of their own medicine before that permanent goodbye 😉
Dean Weston Amen to that!!!
1. BRUTAL HONESTY
2. PUSH BACK
3. EXPOSING THEM
4. LOSING CONTROL
Big time your right
If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes! Woohoo! www.icanslay.com 🌀✨
I heard one expert say.....the magic word is "whatever". There is nothing a narcissist hates more than being dismissed or ignored.
Yeah but they like to play games even one word they will retaliate by doing something drastic for attention like assault even. In my experience you have to leave not play their game at all because the deck is stacked and you can't win.
@@AnnaLVajda sad huh
@@AnnaLVajda you just really can't win with them it's tragic
I never knew what his was but I have had a narcissist mother all my life and my boss brought it to my attehow she was acting towards me and how she guilts me to get money or anything and now I’m wowed how well this actually works don’t feed into them that grinds the duck out of her gears but I wish me and her could have a good relationship but she said I don’t do anything for her I just re done every bit of electrical in her house from breaker box to plug ins to new fans and I work on her car I also mow her grass I mean there’s a lot but she wants money but she’ll buy drugs instead so I won’t directly give her money I buy what she needs
@@daltenmorris5072 I can relate sound like my daughter I do everything for her send her private schools she dropped now an adult still look after her and her son . She will say I never there for her never done nothing for her . I don’t give her money anymore because she does drugs with her boyfriend. So now I blocked her I’m done I’m tired
Best way to deal with them
Its to not deal with them
True accept they stalk which is called Hoovering
The best way to deal with them is to not give a toss... Thankfully it is possible. Takes time but one day we wke up to their shitiness... And God that feel great !!
@@facelesspsycho8252 male disabled noticed she was a narcicist after my disability gott worst. Then I stoped being.a.narcisist also
the problem is that most of the time you can't tell someone has this psychopathy and by the time you realized, it's too late. and trying to cut ties with someone who has severe narcissistic disorder can prove to be very difficult. they will go out of their way to try and reel you in, provoke you, even do illegal or dangerous things in order to get what they want. they are not normal or rational people.
michael morgan Totally!
Having self confidence I've found is very upsetting to the narcissist
Amen...!!!
100% yes
I’m a narcissist and I hate it . We want to keep them down and not better than us
@@stevec3892 lol. Is human born narcissism or they become one? Can they heal?
U G Official my parents were the ultimate narcissist. My father would ignore everyone unless he wanted something and my mother would just tear apart everyone especially if they do better . Both still alive and haven’t talk to them in 20 years . My older sisters are the same . Of course being the youngest I all their crap handed down . It’s tough but it’s a struggle every day
My narcissistic partner has abused me mentally and physically, emotionally as well but 2 days ago, he walked off the aeroplane after causing a scene because we weren’t seated next to each other, the stewardess took me to the back of the aeroplane and said she was away to ask him to disembark but he’d went anyway, I’ve ended up in Tenerife alone for my birthday, I’m so so thankful my daughter has organised a flight to come over and see me tomorrow
If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes! Woohoo! www.icanslay.com 🌀✨
Great! This works in your favour. While you're away, plan not to go back there and start working on the rest of your life. Write down what you want to our life to look like, then how to get this life. He's toast!
Oh l am really sorry you went through that. I am glad your daughter came over.
When the narcissist starts tearing you down and telling you everything that's wrong with you - which they always will - just nod & agree with everything. And when they're done, tell them you realize you're just not worthy of someone like them and you're going to do the decent thing and remove yourself from their life so they can find someone they deserve. And then wish them well & walk out.- and mean it. They don't come equipped to handle this kind of thing.
I have a friend in high school who is a narcissist and I need help with him this has helped
😂😂😂
@@strangebutfunny7179 Good luck. You can do it. There's some comedy in this tactic, and this brand of humor is NOT in their repertoire. It disarms them and leaves them totally without ammunition. And you get to walk away empowered, with your head up. I tried this recently and it worked.
@@DivineSimply Great advice!
What a great idea...never considered that before...it does sound good.
Some empaths really do have the ability to destroy the narcissists if they wanted to, but they're just holding it back.
This is very true, especially when you have child with them. You hold back so they don't hurt your child.
YES
yep
Not this empath.... Empathy mixed with basic humane common sense....and humility... I can't hold shyt back calm cool n collected too
Yass!!..like me I'm not to play because I'm very spiritual and I'm a scorpio and will literally put him on this place. If I was to go that far I could with ease. But I hold back alot because I let the universe and karma get to him
My Narc would get mad at me for being upset about something he did.
My husband constantly does this
They can't be held accountable for their bad behavior. They have to be innocent at all times.
Thats not narssissism totally
@@nabinvlogs4989 It's an aspect
@@nabinvlogs4989 wat do u mean?
1) Brutal honesty.
2)Pushing back.
3)Exposing them.
This might help you better >>> www.icanslay.com
It's funny how much my memory has improved since I left my ex
So soo true. I left a five year relationship with one and suddenly I feel so liberated and can remember al their bs more clearly now lol
Thats crazy lol
Yes u probably have CPTSD
Same here. I feel like I can remember books of shit, books that have helped me understand how fowl and intrepid these ppl really are. In fact I feel like I've shed pounds of bullshit and tumors from my mind that they tried so hard to repress.
Do it: LOL - absolutely! And I'm not emotionally "crazy" or "exploding" anymore either. Who knew?
Brutal honesty makes them go to silent treatment
I am on silent treatment with a narcissist but believe they won't care..
Nothing can ever be good enough!
So true Amanda!
Priya Jain 🤷🏾♀️ Welcome to the club, it’s every other day or week on silent treatment.
Amanda Causey something I’m dealing with now my bf shuts down whenever I hit him with brutal honesty
YES IT DOES!!
It’s ok they can think I’m insane... as long as they stay away from me
Thanks so much so helpful. I just found out my Narcissist husband of 21 years led a double life
Gail Waxman,You deserves better
Nothing can fix them, why waste your energy instead care for those who really care for you.
Its a very fine line between psychopaths and narcissist...
You're so right..! 💖🙏😇
Like my own biologic "psycho dad", i forgave him but i never ever want him back in my life.!
My son is one of their flying monkeys . Difficult . He dismisses me lies threatens to keep my granddaughter from me. Took my inheritance from the Narcs. Denies it but I know.
@@suzannemorrow9987 So sad that even our own family members can be driven by greed. Let karma catch up with them whilst you enjoy living your life as a good person. Try to remember that all of the good things in life are free eg. scenic nature walks with the awe factor with true friends by your side xo
Who wants to make a bet that all the thumbs down people are pissed off narcissist. LOL
Yep
Lol
Haha I bet youre 100% correct.
LOL 4 sure !!
I was thinking the same thing!!
The only time I saw my ex panic was when he knew I was leaving for good and the hoover did not work..the biggest hurt for me was realizing that I knew absolutely nothing about the man I married, that he was a complete fake, a con artist liar who really did not have one drop of love or respect for me..
@@mypups7626 so true.
My stomach just turned reading this , I've been with mine for 8 years ,married 3 and living together for 1 1/2 years 😳.I don't know who this person is but it's not who I met , it's absolutely scarry what the difference is
I relate to you 100%. Im trying to leave my narc husband now. I need to be strong.
Yep. Not a drop.
@@BecomingFelicia Do it afraid, if you wait to be strong that moment might never come because strength usually comes after the action, not before. You’ll be surprised at how strong you are AFTER walking away.
#3 ALL THE WAY. I once played "psychic" by email, pointing out all that I "saw" in her "aura," etc. - "Something happened to you in adolescence that caused you to feel inferior to others, and you began to overcompensate." "Your aura is so thick with layers that you don't quite know who you are anymore." This was all under the guise of caring - and I never saw her or heard from her again. (They'll HIDE from you if you can pull this off!)
how ironic, us empath feels we're becoming more of a narcisist when were stading out to fight the narcisist.
Its true. Please dont be and save yourself. It is not a good thing to become. You will never be fully satisfied with this caracter. I broke up with my ex 5 years ago didnt have any pity for him but i loved him. When i reached out last year , i was more mature and ready to fix things up , found out that he wasnt the same person and it was me who created this dark side of him .. then broke up with me and did everything i did to him. ( i have changed and i dont blame myself for what happened 5 years ago i was totally immature)
Roy Savage my history is different I was a person that grew up very poor, and because of that I gave everything to my daughters because I want them to have a better life, now my daughter has three kids and she had them late in her life she’ll be 48, I was there for her hand and foot gave her money gave him my time gave him my life in other words she grew up privileged, I am a senior citizen suffering so much, and because I have different opinion in the political issues both of them hate me with a passion, I thought I was allowed to think and use my brain, and if that is A crime I didn’t know I am very naïve person and I am very empath I care I’m religious and I love to help people I gave 3 gallons of blood since I was a young girl, now my daughter is torturing me mentally, I have many accidents because I was always running to help them with the babies I have five fractures in my body right now I need money to pay my rent because I had the virus and I had to get medication, I gave her all my savings naughty one time but little by little, I she won’t let me see my grandkids which they love me I don’t like to go to her house to watch them because she always has an angry face and I don’t like it, The kids love me because I play with them like I was five years old even though I have horrible arthritis and broken bones, she asked me to lend her my car, and because she ruined it the last time she used it cost me $1500, I said no I’ll drive you, she said to me she doesn’t wanna be next to me because I give her stress, she gives me stress I’m on medication right now I’m having therapy I think she’s bipolar she needs therapy and she talks to me horrible she did not Listen to me to me she made horrible choices she found a boyfriend that used her in abused her and that’s 43 she decided to have babies, and I think she hates me and she tell me I don’t exist and I need help now to pay my rent she said no and I have to sell my jewelry the little bit that I have because she took some it, it’s true I lost all my friends she told everybody that I was a bad mother that I used to beat them they believe her because she talks to them with honey, even my best friend she’s always reproaching me telling me she loves you, do you know why because she talks to her like oh how are you Kissy Kissy, so now the only person I can speak to is my sister because she knows my situation and because my daughter also rejected her, I never had grandparents because they stayed in the old country my grandkids have a grandmother who adore them she doesn’t want me to see them, please answer me, but don’t make it public because I’m afraid of her!!!
I don’t tell her what she says to everybody I’m a liar to her own father she brainwashed him and I’m Father’s Day she gave me a card saying happy Father’s Day mother because you were my mother and my father I love you, she forgot all the good things I did for them because I took the key from my apartment and I don’t give her the car anymore because she ruined it and now I don’t have money she hates me!!!
I exposed her and she told everybody my political view now they all run away from me like I’m a monster or I have leprosy it’s horrible you want or I can do that to a mother who grew up so poor so poor, when I came to this country at 16 was the first time I heard TV FrigidaireAnd a birthday cake I never heard that before that’s why I gave them everything I wanted to be a good mother I didn’t know I was doing something wrong in my heart I thought it was doing them a favor to have a piano in ballet and sweet 16 so many things I gave them no I’m all alone
Thank you so much for saying this
The only way to deal with a narcissistic person is have no contact forever if that's possible! 🤔
Once you call them out and they realize they cannot manipulate you, control the narrative & lose their flying monkeys they will drop you like a hot potato. It's been 8 glorious years since the hubby, his brother & wife & I have had to deal with the mother-in-law. The rest of the family kept telling her to fix it but if she did then she would have to admit her actions and again, it's been 8 years. =)
It’s not. Trying to figure out how to avoid him tomorrow...
And what if they're your parent? 😂
I couldn’t agree more. I’ve been married to mine for 14 years and I have a kid with him but I’ve finally woken up after finally having the last piece of my inner self robbed from me and destroyed. I’ve filed for a divorce (first time taking it that far). But once I get out from his grip, I don’t ever want to see his face or even speak his name again. His son doesn’t even like him as a person, at all. And my boy is the sweetest and shyest kid if that tells you anything t about the quality of my hush band’s character. Unfortunately, my son was smart enough to figure out that his dad never wanted anything to do with him, he was only a tool to keep me at home and dependent on the narcissist who also refused to allow me to work and no access to the finances and was made to ask for money here and there. It was all how he so perfectly crafted my artificial world to keep me bottled up inside. I’ve had a couple black eyes along the way as well and I look at myself every day wondering how this could’ve happened to me. “Why am I here?” I ask because I was always a free spirit and I depended on no one before him. When me and my husband got together, he actually moved into my downtown Tulsa apartment. I used to be so proud of my work ethic and my ambition. I was going places for sure! Now I’m 40 and I feel like a useless failure in all but being a mother. I try not to ever let my boy know that I’m so broken inside and I always put on a smile for him and comfort him when his dad is yelling and saying awe full things about me in front of him. It’s no wonder he hates him I guess. I’ve made excuses for his dad long enough. I’m not religious for obvious reasons, but if you are and it works, please give a prayer for me and my boy as well as all the other moms and dads trapped in abusive relationships with psychotic narcissist spouses. We need a god to help us achieve what feels impossible, leaving in one piece.
Yes! It's the best. It sucks that they continue to smear your name, but true friends and smart family know the truth
When you are brutally honest with them,
They know exactly what to do with that.
They use it against you or they turn the truth into lies.
True.. happened to me while married to a narc. They don't respect truth. Better to lie to them...smh
Omg this exactly how my grandma is ....
Yes
So true! Damn it !
Oh god, what if I have been honest abt my feeling while he was in denial and don't want to be blamed at all. I was willing to take the blame because I realized there is no good arguing with a fool or egoist. I just want to walk away. So how to fix this. Help me guys.
Oh God! They are always sick. It's the feeling sorry, victimhood. But only in front of people who tolerate it. It's really, really hard not to call them out on this.
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And some people also have chronic illnesses... This is a perfect example of why that was a terribly ableist trope to drag out. GQ public LOVES to hate on people with disabilities. Case in point.
And then they STICK to that lie even when they're caught in the lie! NUTS!
This is both an annoying and entertaining thing to witness. They'll start rambling hoping to confuse you as they change the subject. Then they'll accuse you of changing the subject when you make it known that they're the ones drifting.
@@yoseflopez4897 wow! It's as if I wrote this comment!! I am EXHAUSTED from keeping up w/his lie, after lie, after lie--just to then listen to him weasel his was around trying to change the topic...ugh 😠😢
@@juliebeebe34 What I started doing is remembering the original topic and the first new topic they drifted off to. That way when they starting accusing I would just say "No, actually...", then they sometimes respond with the whole "Are you calling me a liar?" crap. Lol this is where I would just say "yes" so they could just ramble themselves out of the argument.
@@yoseflopez4897 oh? Very smart! Yesterday, during a "run-around argument", I call them, I spouted out, "I should grap a pen & paper, so I can keep track of the original argument starter", LOL
@@juliebeebe34 If you can try to avoid engaging in the first place with one word responses like "k". It's hard to argue when it's just you.
Never underestimate the fact that a narcissist will always destroy themselves in the long run it may not happen in your lifetime or in the time you know them but Mark my words they find their downfall downfall soon enough
Truer words never spoken. Especially if you know their life & how miserable they are it's best to let them wallow in their misery & move on so they don't take you under when you're in their fortress.
I think my brother will kill me , so I wont see that happening (he tried doing that when I was a baby... He is not only a narcissist, but and insane and very agressive + childish one)
@@mightyseagoat6874 smh the worst combination. I've recently discovered some people are aware something is off with my narcissist but don't exactly know but a few people are skeptical of them despite being cordial and the narc being super friendly with them. I had no clue people were suspect of her. I'm glad they are and I hope she gets exposed and gets help she desperately needs it.
@@Respect2theFallen you mean your sister? (You said "her")
My brother for example pretends to be super friendly with people , so does my mothwr , but when they are together they talk sh*t about everyone, the worst. They are very aggresive at home and abusive. Making drama about everything. Caring a lot about appearances etc
@@mightyseagoat6874 Nah not sister I dont have one. It's just a her in general they seem like easier people to play victims that's why it's annoying.
Number 5: when the “target” starts having a satisfying Life and the narc realizes that the victims didnt give up of themselves.
YES!!! THIS!!! My sister and I have both done this, and it drives the narcissists insane!
Living my best life has destroyed them. 🥰😁🙃
They freak out and go find another victim in order to “regulate” their emotions. They cant stand peace and stability...
I better pray for my narcissist. He was rejected as a child, poor little one.x
Totally!! Divorcing a covert narcissist of 27 years, and WINNING!!!
Well done!!
Dusti..pl share your email
Dusti- I was married for 31 years to a covert- narrisst. He committed perjury in court on 3 accounts. I got almost nothing!!! I'm disabled from his abuse and he lied about the amount of home and used a tax asserors amount instead oil f the true amount of 195,400. Please be careful they will use adult children against you!!! Narrisst always play the victim!!!
Meeeee tooooooo!!!! :)
Best of luck!!!!!!!
1. Brutal honesty @7:20
2. Pushing back
3. Exposing them
Signed, your ADHD friend.
4. Losing Control
Signed, another ADHD friend. 🙂
Amazing thank you
Thank you.
I lived with a covert narcissist for nine years. I’m now nine months free. 💃🏼
Congratulations x
Honestly, congratulations💕
@@cheryallenjenkins9800 Thank you 🙏. It’s been the hardest time of my life but I will get through this.
@@sarahkelsey4287 Thank you! 😊
@@Ginjajoos Thank you...only people who have lived with narcissists truly understand.
Totally! Anything you say can and will be held against you. I don't tell my husband how I feel, what I think, or share anything personal anymore.
@@JP-ur9ie I do the same too
Brutal honesty is pointless in my situation because the denial mechanism is constant.
You're right and actually a waste of precious energy.
If you provide enough documented evidences, they will be stunned. It helped tremendously in my case. And Do not listen to their denials. After showing the evidences, leave them for good.
Same with mine
Same with mine as well. Despite overwhelming evidence she still just denies denies denies. It's just stupid at this point.
I might need to add that I face da group of narc fam, buat some of them are normal. So, the evidences stunned the narc, make them panicked because they were exposed, and let the normals contemplated of what the narcs have done to my family.
For individual narc, this might not be very effective. I agree...
They lie about dumb things, just because they feel like they're "smarter" than you if they get away with it. Its an ego booster for them too.
yeah I hate when they do that. Like lying about something as benign as what type of bread they ate in the morning. It serves no purpose to lie about, but they get so giddy when you were silly enough to "believe" that they ate rye bread instead of whole grain! They then call you so gullible and stupid for falling for it. lol. they're like 5 year olds
Then get all butt hurt when you call them out and go into a fit of rage for recognizing that they're lying.....
yep, remember mine waving an engraved keyring at me, telling me his daughter got him it. No prompting. It was a really odd engraved message, not appropriate between father and daughter. I began to think he had some weird relationship with her but didn't question it. Can't believe I didn't cotton on that he was married but I didn't. He was smarter than me I guess. If smart is being a lying psycho and dumb is being trusting.
lol. what a weak ass they are.
OMG, Right!?!?!?! I am juuuuust about to lose my crap, due to mostly just the lying alone! How on Earth can he look me right in the eyes, so effortlessly, and lie and lie and lie....even after being caught in such a small, stupid lie?!?!? 🙃 😢
This is exactly what happened to me, actually thought I was mentally insane.
Gaslightning
I felt this way for years
I feel the same. I just wonder if he believed his narrative. But I know he doesn’t. Bc, if he told me that this person or that person was there & heard it his way, I would be like, oh wow. I’m sorry. But he just says they’re crazy or liars. If I have a recording to prove I didn’t say something, he hears that he was wrong, I didn’t.. He will switch to telling me how I pushed his buttons to make him sound bad on the recording & there we go arguing about me defending myself
Kerryn 56,You are beautiful 🌹🌷,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
Me too 🥺
Brutal Honesty. I was born that way... 😆
Pushing back. Exposing them.... all good. But you have to be very careful when exposing a narcissist. There will always be a come back. Losing control, exactly! Isn't it simply the best thing to just ignore them, avoid them, and go no contact as far as possible? If it is family or friends, it might be a bit easier than a spouse!
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Just found out my mom is one....I never even knew the definition before. My whole life is validated now!
Same! Except that it is my dad.
Try two mum's and two dad's 🤣🙄🤷♀️
natalie fox after 32 years with my husband since age of 18, I have validation too. I never knew about this stuff back then and I am now educating myself and hopefully move on and far away.
Mine exhusband, father to my kids. Together 30 yrs. Still living w him because I got screwed in divorce and homeless and co. Parenting 17 and 12 yr old .he is so abusive because he doesn't want me living w him. But my 12 yr old daughter needs me
I hope you can get away from the abuse, and build who you are as a person.
Having no reaction anymore...that works, you know they're gaslighting so answering with one word like K or , sorry you feel that way ect. They really know you know by then.
I agree 👍
@ lil winged i have noticed this in the comments quite often so thought i might clarify, etc is the abbreviation for etcetera not ect. Are you from the US?
@@charzemc It's not an American thing, just an error .
Deploy the “K”!!! 😂🤣
@@Pace8260 hello how are you doing? My name is Greg
It’s like they are all the same person, they’re so text-book predictable. Mine is an escalating nightmare of gaslighting, lies and manipulation.
It's a personality disorder....
Im ,so worn out!!!😭...God help me,is my prayers.
My God, you’re right! They aren’t even real people. Just cardboard cutouts!
@@stephaniea1185 they are people..!!
Funny I just left a comment about how predictable they are. I think it’s their top true quality over all, only being a mammal comes in second.
Used to go toe to toe with my ex wife who’s also a narcissist. It just ended in me getting cussed out and alienated in the process. Ended up trying the grey rock method and it worked much better. We have kids together so it’s a lot harder to navigate the dynamics but not making myself so accessible and workings on myself, mentally physically and spiritually helped empower me to stand firm in my beliefs
Right on brother. Five months into the process so far
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“Love bombing and then devalue” -yep! The never ending cycle. My only solution was to stop communication
yea it was almost like not only were they trying to manipulate you but also punishing you for showing you some type of love.
@@fomoorplaylist488 then you end up chasing their validation even if you don't want them. A terrible cycle.
Totally!!
KARINA Renee I cannot seem to get that concept down even though it’s killing me
me-me Adams yes and that made me start to cry reading what I already tell myself all the time. That’s the hardest part...they punish love that it what I call evil
His lies were so nuts I wondered if he had multiple personalities and didn't even remember the insanity we just went through
Girl I feel this...
I dated a covert narcissist for 6 years. Covert narcissist are the worse.
They lie for everything, they make you believe a whole different new story, they manipulate you, they act like the victim around others, they give you the silent treatment, they leave you once they have another supply, they blame you for everything that happened in the relationship. They don't love anybody they just love themselves.
They hate being exposed on social media because its like taking their real mask off.
Kick em "into the wild". See what i did there, ahh? eh??
Maggie McCandless,you are too precious 🌹🌹🥀🥀🥀 to be with a narc 🙄!
Thank you unfortunately he's still my daughter's Dad and she avoids him as much as politely possible. I haven't seen him in a year now and am grateful for the peace.
Every time I catch him in a lie, suddenly he's having a heart attack!
Mine had a full-blown panic attack on the stand during cross-examination. The lies he told were presented to him & it was a beautiful thing. It was 3 days. I refused to look at him & I had zero reaction to him. Drove him crazy. LOL!
@@alexisgonzales2958 Awesome!!!
Mine vomited when I forced him to let me drive...
😂😂😂😂😂 it’s not funny.. but aren’t narcs so much fun ...
@@ThePriam3 😭😭😭😭 no! Lol
Thank you for fighting the good fight - these parasitic creatures are everywhere and need to be brought under control like rats and wasps
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Best way to send them into a panic: Start talking about yourself.
😂
Oh they want to know all your fears and flaws, so they can use them against you later.
AliensAnonymous Talk about your accomplishments, every friend that you have who they don't know, what a great yesterday you had, how well you slept, & how great today is going to be because "I'm not going to let anything or anyone mess with MY great day."
The narcissist can't handle it. They'll immediately react. Their wheels will start turning immediately as they quickly attempt of something to say, something, anything negative.
As soon as the first negative word comes out & long before they can finish, bluntly & boldly interrupt them with a smile, the biggest smile you've ever smiled, & say, Oh no, I'm not letting anything or anyone sour my day. Love you, but gotta go enjoy my day & love life. Smile even greater, then turn & walk away.
And if they try to interrupt with another negative. Cover your ears & remember walk away.
They can't handle not being in control of the conversation. They can't handle you being happy. And they can't handle be dismissed or ignored.
And if you want to rub it in, just before you go through the exit door or are out of earshot, turn once again toward them with, again, your very biggest smile & boldly wave saying "I hope your day is just as great as mine.
They will just about lose it once you are gone. They'll be sad, mad, aggravated, confused, enraged, & they'll even feel abused. And in the onslaught of all of these emotions, they'll panic, because have no current control & can't figure you out to regain the control they had thought that they had approached the conversation with.
@@WatchingMyLifeFlashB "And they'll even feel abused"😂😂😂
I died!!!
They won’t listen
Been dealing with people like these all my life. Absolutely exhausting and draining to be around them.
My mother. 😕
My ex referred to our bed as his "lair". Now I see that he was a con artist/narc/wolf in sheep's clothing.
If that's the case you need to start self-analyzing to see why you haven't start to acknowledge to yourself when you see the signs and haven't learned to drop them right them and there the minute you see the signs. Stop being so optomistic. If someone seems like a bad person, trust your instinct. They are.
@@quickseevee3509 Who says I haven’t? They are energy vampires who zone in to anyone who has an empathetic personality and are compassionate. They are the gum on the shoe of life.
Big time I hear you
There might have been a time where I wanted to take the wind out of my narcissist's sails, but that isn't my desire any more. Continuing to engage and play all the games isn't what I want to do. I'd rather exit stage left and get on with my life. Difficult for sure as this person is a family member. I'm done with all this nonsense. Seriously, no one is worth your inner peace, no one!
Couldn't have said that better. Enjoy a Blessed Life
Unfortunately, for some, such as myself, there remains legal connections that must be dealt with. The narcissist continues to try to manipulate, control, and intimidate in connection to those situations and people. For me, once our youngest turns 18 in a few months and whenever this dang house is sold, I will no longer need or want to "take the wind out of my narcissist's sails". Until then I must protect myself by using cold, hard numbers as facts to prevent a judge from forcing me to pay the narcissist lots of money I don't have. I engage only when forced, and at least for me, this is not playing any sort of game but instead protecting myself and my assets, small may they be, from being unjustly confiscated. I look forward to the day there is no more reason, (other than to collect on the court ordered life insurance policy I have on him), to engage with him in any manner.
@@redlover5088 use Clarity and come out smiling. Bless you on your journey of self discovery. Use everything even the worst, as a learning experience. Try as much not to take things these Demons do personally. This is the aspect that keeps us stuck to their negativity. We are all meant to live safe & happily, some just can't see this in their life.
Yup. I had to let my son and grandchildren go. His narc wife has kept us in an uproar for 13 years. I told him she's a narcissist. He knows but he stays so I'm done!!
Totally
TOTALLY!!! - I went totally NO CONTACT to get rid of her.
Work on yourself, don't work on others.
Emotionally mature people walk away from abusive people, that includes narcissists.
Enlightened people have no desire to make another person panic, or to control them, in any way.
Mark Thompson beautifully said
HEY! You have been in a 12 step program! I am powerless against ................. There is a higher power greater than your self that can change YOU while taking care of the other person. Wow, thank goodness for healthy People in delightful comments on TH-cam. Cheers to healthyness. 👍
@Marc this describes my personality when I've dealt with a narc. Leave them lost and confused thinking why didn't their evil games work on me. I've actually become a professional narc detective from dealing with so many.
Perfect comment!
@Harry Munker The best comment
They are kind of people that accuse you of what they themselves are guilty of doing. The best way to get them out of your life is to block all contacts with them. They are not worth your time nor energy.
I know and get what ur saying. So weird when they do all the certain things and then accuse you of it. This happens all the time with the Narc in my pleasantly divorced life. Yahoo so glad to be divorced only 5 more years till my daughter is 18. Counting down!! Then no more anything.
Summer; they project onto you.
summer what if that person is my sister? I also have been struggling with work and money during covid so her condescension really hurts.
Yes, narcissistic projection! I call it a truth serum in disguise if that makes sense.
what if it's your boss 🤷🏾♂️
I am so happy I finally got rid of him.
I'm taking control of my life.
No more living in hell
Happy happy big love n huggs xx
Well said.
Amen to that
Me too been there
I’m so happy that my ex is gone!!! He took all the gifts from my daughter just because he wanted to take control of our happy Christmas!!! He chocked me while my daughter watched!! Almost killing me!!! All because I kept it real with him!!! Let’s just say he is no longer with me because I stopped giving him supply!!! Yes my ex from hell!!! Thank god he’s gone lord and I’m finally free from the narcissist after 3 years of hell!!!💯💯
All these years I didn’t realize the closest people to me were narcissists until your presentations. Many thanks.
Same here ...4 yrs. of trauma therapy showed me who was who .. it took me awhile to process it . Heartbreaking .
Totally! 1. Gaslighting .2. They lie about trivial issues. 3. Intimidation tactics; they make threats. 4. Triangulation. They make you think that everyone is against you and for them. They are the most scaredy-cats on the planet. They need attention and are super afraid. What causes panic in narc? 1. Honesty stuns them. 2. Pushback. 3. Exposing them. 4. Losing control in anyway.
You are exactly right! Had a supervisor love bomb me and then then discard me when she realized she could not control me and manipulate me. She attempted to triangulate coworkers including her supervisor.
Told her supervisor to make me talk to her when I gray rocked her after she threatened me!
@@blugrn1999 - shocking aren't they! No apology I'm guessing!!
BAM
Making a narc panic will result in the narc displaying a higher level of heinousness toward you. You'll be astounded when you witness how depraved they really are.
I think that too, they get their kicks off of one upping you, and they're really good at it!! they've had alot of experience and practice. Best tactic is to cut ties, and stand firm with the decision. You'll be at risk of turning into a monster yourself if you play the game with them.
True
@@dalesmith4609 --So Correct Dale!🎯💪✌💖
Yep, the moment I stood up for myself, my ex started doing all kinds of stuff. He started being more obvious
Yep. Make certain you install a camera beforehand.
Totally! I was married to a true master manipulator. It took me many years to figure him out, and I finally stopped participating in the myriad head games. It crushed him, and our 27-year marriage ended. My life has been completely happy since then!
Lynda Barritt Congratulations! You were smart to not give him “fuel” or narcissistic supply...that’s why he wanted to end the marriage. You were no longer useful! Enjoy your freedoms and stay happy! ❤️
I was love-bombed by a narcissist last night. It was the empties hug I have ever received. You were right. All my ducks will be in a row the next time I see her and her flying monkey. Thank you for your help!!
YES: They are sick people; imposters posing as 'nice' people except to the target.
Yes. That is the incidious evilness that I find. You feel like you are the only one that can see. Evil.
Totally!My elder brother & his wife are narcissists . Have been bullying & gaslighting mesince I was 12 years old. I’m now 61 years old now. Finally I realizec I can’t be wrong all thetime.
@@happyme3556Aaaaa???..story of my life.
You describe it perfectly,
Stfu
When hes caught in a lie, it quickly goes from him being in the hot seat, to me in the fire... i hate it.
I'm in the same boat
So am I and at 63, disabled I'm trying to find a way out.
@@jessicarinehart6294 if you have any way out, run!!
@@nana820able im 53..been with him since I was 15... its all ive ever known.
@@Always0110 we were 17 and 18 so it's been 45 years. We got married 5 months after we met and I wasn't pregnant just stupid. I had wonderful parents and a big loving family. He grew up with the abused parents from abused parents and so on.
I've dealt w/many narcissists in my life. I'm an empath so they flock to me as if i'm a magnet. I will eventually feel very uneasy & i will leave. I've been learning since how to recognize a narcassist....thank gawd!
You also attract them, not intentionally that's just how it is.
@Vitelotte no. You can't heal them but they will let you try and suck you dry as a result.
Me too 😭 😭
@Vitelotte no you'll die inside, don't ever do that. Learn to put up boundaries.
@Vitelotte Perhaps you can help them heal themselves, but only through being stern to them, bluntly telling them the truth about themselves, exposing them to others deliberately, showing them that you don't care the least about their gaslighting, lies and tantrums, that you don't need them in any way, but that you *still* care about them as people. Teach them what is worthy of respect and what is only worthy of contempt. Flip their sick worldview and mentality by force. If it doesn't work, then just give up on them, and don't feel bad about it. They are responsible for their own miserable state, while you are not, this is true even though they shy away from their responsibility.
Totally! I got manipulated into buying a home, having a child and getting married all so she could return to not working, not helping and physically beating me until it hurt less to leave than stay. Only connected the dots in last two weeks and trying to know how to cope
Counselling in abundance
Sorry to hear & wishing you strength and health to heal yourself and deal with the narcissistic asswipe & put them in their place..
This is very common for women. They get married have kids buy a house then they kick the husband out and get custody of the kids so they get to keep the house. Men need to call this out so women know we know.
Many women want a divorce because they dont get any help from the husband with raising the kids. They are exhausted and desperate and the husband is like another child that they have to take care off. Than they figure that they might as well just raise them by themselves because they are already doing it alone anyway. Many men still see women as a their maid, nanny, sextoy and mother. Wheres the respect.Ofcourse there will also be women who are really bad and manipulative but the majority of women just dont accept this treatment anymore.@@NoName-zb1gm
Taking care of children and the house is also work. Im worried about the child if shes this agressive. I hope shell not use the child to hurt you. Good that you got away.
Absolutely...simply cut off all communications with them
It’s hard when it’s your 44 yr old daughter . But 25 yrs of misery
@Kevin Kennett yes she was
Definitely, they are relentless. Keep away.
the only way to deal with a narcissist is to cut all contact with them.and everyone else involved.
Do not get sucked into playing their game it will just become an endless cycle.
Amen. Just walk away. The frustration is real. I highly question the state of those who may want to exact revenge on someone, even a narcissist. Just move on and heal yourself.
It’s not easy when it’s a family member, they are the worst !!!!
My daughter it's sad. I learned the darn hard way. I stay pray UP.
Very true. Its an endless cycle of toxicity
Yes, I've wasted 15 years..never knew what I was dealing with until this past year.
Narcissists don't have friends, they have token relationships, all based on manipulation, lies, and deception. I have a sister who is a Sociopath/Narcissist and, to listen to her speak, she's the sweetest most caring person you'll ever know. And therein lies the manipulation, because she'll never let you know who she truly is. On the surface, they're great actors, always spinning a story and developing their next opportunity to ride in on their white horse, saving the day or coming to the rescue of someone in need. That's how they gain your confidence and trust ...to be used against you at a later time when you recognize and threaten to expose the truth of who THEY are. Distancing yourself from these people is one option, but my preferred method is to burn the bridge after you're on the other side of the valley.
Robert L (n(
Mine is a repeat offender
Burn the bridges is saver
SAY IT!!!! 👍👍YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT - to a tee. I experienced all of what you just mentioned. My advise is: ALWAYS figure out how to run run run & not know these people once you discover they are Narcassist. Normal people OR other less tramatizing per- sonality disorders ,you can kind of dance around with their issues,but NEVER EVER a Narcassist (no matter what kind).View them as a quiet "fake-fun" undercurrent tsnumi Katrina LION SNAKE storm. If your peace of mind or comfort is not maintained at 75-80% at all times always keep a wedge & a " powerful threat" between you &L them,no matter who they are. In the long run they are the WORST people I've ever met.i have no time to describe all of what they do. It's very interesting when you know 7 of them at the same time& all of them are doing the same things at the same time,all the time, but don't know each other.???!!!🥴Peace & Best wishes.
I have a daughter who is a narcissist and I dont talk to her at all. I have to love her from a distance bc I dont like the way she treats me or everybody else.
Driving me crazy is right. I’ve been able to hold my peace more and more but I still erupt at times. I’m moving because this to a place I really can’t afford but as soon as I’m away from all this I’ll quickly thrive.
I am just coming out of 3 1/2 yrs with be a narcissist. Oh my God these people are so toxic. Everything you have mentioned ive been through. Now I'm left with picking up the pieces and healing
Wow well said... " chocolate bunnies that are hollow inside" I will definitely remember that!! So true😂
I loved that too!
Yes! Perfect analogy!
YES. I won't forget that either... So we'll said.
Narcissists hate sarcasm lol it’s like walking on thin ice all day everyday. They wake up in the morning sad and unhappy and blame you even if you’re nice to them all the time and supportive. It’s weird..
Your so right I'm with one 😞
Wait... they hate Sarcasm? Cuz I am just now cutting ties with a narcissist... and he literally couldn't tell when I was being sarcastic,... he always thought I was being serious... and I had to literally tell him, "I"m totally joking, you can't tell by my sarcastic tone and cartoon like voice?" He literally couldn't tell at all... is this what you are talking about???
Very true. My mother is one.
Mike Kollin Conscious Power I think you said it how I was attempting to say it. You’re absolutely right!
@@nikkikells8791 When I was 28 years old I asked my mother why she was so mean to me... she literally said "it was because I was good at everything I did... because I worked hard at everything I did... Because we couldn't stand to see your success... and on top of it, You were nice!!! We hated it!!" I've learned the super hard way, "Run from Narcassists!!! They will dEstroy you!!"
Dont let them intimate you! You have to stand up
If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes! Woohoo! www.icanslay.com 🌀✨
Totally identify. Gaslighting, lying, exaggerating the truth, and intimidation are all things that I have experienced in my situation.
Me too😊 good luck to you!
Intimidation is a HUGE one with "mine". Here are his threats:
I'll turn your bank card off.
Dont touch MY money or ill slit your throat (meanwhile has NO problem spending any money i have contributed and conveniently forgets i ever have)
If you leave i will destroy you to all your people
You better hope your people (insert names) can protect you. Bet they can't.
I'll go f*** any b**** and as many b****** as I want.
I don't NEED you to cheat. (I always want to say duh...who does? Thats why it's called cheating)
I'll punch you in your fat, ugly face.
I'll beat your fat a**
It goes on and on and on....it's a MISERABLE existence and only gets worse the more they take from you. And they WILL do anything to keep you from escaping once they have you. Yes they discard, but if they can keep you trapped they will...
The Mighty Miss M OMG! LEAVE ASAP!!!
I’ve lived it!!!
I don’t want anyone to panic I just want them to forgot about me and move on... over it
I experienced everything of these. Then I had my first depression, lost myself and after a hard fight I realized it wasn’t me, it's not my fault. My narcissistic husband tried to destroy everything in me...he broke my spirit completly. Now I'm getting better, I'm working on myself everyday. Thank you with all of my heart for all videos and tips ❤🙏🏻 Everything is so true !
You took the words right out of my mouth. My family and friends tried to talk to me but I didn't see it or listen. 12 years later I finally saw it. They were SO right!
That was me too!
I was very depressed before I left him.
I've been free from him for almost 5 years now. Though, honestly, it took about a year, after I left, for me to truly feel like he held no power over me anymore.
I have had an AMAZING man in my life for over 3 years now.
He is so kind, affectionate, good with my daughters, a hard worker, and strong!
I am extremely grateful!
@@beansoup6799 Thank you so much for sharing 🙏🏻❤
I thought I was alone that was destroyed by a narcissist 🤔‼
@@jamcastle6797 I thought the same...
TOTALLY. Yes they are empty on the inside. And yes, they are bullies.
36 yrs and now going through a divorce. The minute I called her out she was gone. Moved right in with her next victim. Total denial of cheating or even living with him as a relationship. She did me a hugh favor I now see!
Same here...24 years together called him out he tries to make it all about him, and I keep bringing him back to reality...so he moves in with the origin of the lie
Congrats....THE TRASH TOOK ITS SELF OUT🥰🥰🥰
I’m dealing with the dangerous one. Fighting to protect my 6 year old. Spent thousand I don’t have but I will not stop fighting.
Don’t stop fighting for the child! My ex gf is totally a narc and always made me go insane. It’s been 3 years since we broke up and I ended up winning our custody battle and I have the kids 75% of the time and rightfully so because she is not a good mother and even worse as a partner. It costs me roughly $40k in legal and I have been a stay at hole dad for 3 years now as she moved out of state, smh. I used to have a high profile job and owned my own business but I’m glad I sacrificed it all for my kids. I’ll bounce back easily because my new GF is awesome and extremely supportive.
D C no worries I will never stop fighting. She has and always be number one forever. I have no problems going without to hive her what she needs. More and more people are seeing. I’m not the crazy ones the stories are true? Imagine that I just told them all 10 min ago I told you.
So sorry that you are going through this. when it comes to legalities they can be dangerous. Listen to your inner voice and you will know what to do. My sister-in-law had to get therapy after she divorced him. Try to ignore him and choose your battles. You have a child to take care of. They will not get any better. On the bright side they will always be alone for they are not capable of loving or being loved. It's really sad actually. Count yourself lucky that you realized it now. Peace be with you😍
Anna Moore was thing is I realized it for years but I thought he would kill me then I knew he would and had to face the fear.
Interesting, it's funny how you instantly accept a rando on the internet's armchair diagnosis.
Seems legit.
“You’re the one that must be insane.” That’s exactly how they make you feel.
Thesy Surface... They will actually say it !!! " No you are Mad". Or they'll say ," Yes I'm mad, I'm mad , I'm mad" !!
I made sure my yuck could hear my every word while on the phone. I was informing a trusted friend how my hatred for it had turned into something so dark, it scared me. That I had bad thoughts and dreams of doing something to him. That I once snapped awake to find myself on the way to his place and I had a weapon I couldn't recall getting. LOFLMAO. I told her I thought my mind was going to leave me and I was scared for it to be alone with me. Said my good byes. FYI. I was pretending someone was on the phone. In reality I hadn't called anyone. About 10 minutes after ending the call. He came to me and said his mom needed him. I made no reply. His eyes were filled with terror and doubt. When its car left the driveway. I swear I fell off my chair onto the floor. Laughed so hard so long, I broke a rib!!! One of the best moments of my life. Talk about Chicken Little! Still funny
O, NO. The LIAR lacking the capacity to notice truth from liars sewage MAY distract the audience of their toxic whirl with pretty poo, it's poo
He is trying to make the judge believe that to get sole custody of my son!
Narcissists have a real personality disorder,insane indeed.
Thank you so much. I have gone No Contact. I feel like I am losing my mind. Everything you talk about makes me feel I am not alone in this fight.
If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes! Woohoo! www.icanslay.com 🌀✨
Documentation is their kryptonite! And yet, they will Still lie!
Home Fix ✌ Yep! You can have proof in hand, they dont care, they'll still lie.
They will tell you that you're too stupid to understand what they wrote when you present them with what they wrote, as Trump did the other day with Yamiche. All she did was quote back what he said at a recorded press conference and he went straight for her throat.
@@MzShonuff123 He is daft
I know right! They can be caught red handed and still deny all the way to their grave. It’s insane behavior.
I record a lot! He tries to say that I'm yelling. I NEVER yell. So I've started recording every interaction/issue
TOTALLY, ABSOLUTELY!
I'm an empath that wanted to help my ex reach his goal (big mistake). I think I was basically feeling sorry for him. After 15 years of insanity, I learned to feel sorry for myself and walked away. Now after more than 30 years free, I get more done for myself on a daily basis. I find more joy while amazing myself with my efforts to improve myself and spend time with my true friends (people he had declared were not worth my time). Aah! Life is good.
Attempting to help your narc bf/gf or family member with their goals is the worst thing you can do. Their egos are the biggest and at their peak when you do so. They will use you or worst... reject your help but get mad you're not helping them even though they rejected that help and make you feel like crap.
Wow! 👏👏👏 inspiration
I'm happy for u . I lost my children in court to a narcissist . And I haven't heard from them in 3 years and Im really feeling it.
I just broke up with mine a month ago hes never called back or anything I blocked him I don't want no part of him I'm actually hating him only because he was using me for 5 years and stole money for me I bought so much a truck about all his Equipment for work when he get the grass I bought his father stuff and I did not see that they were both using me because I was a giver. I do not understand what happened to me he knew I was a giver aninsensitive so he robbed me He was having an affair that was obviously I don't know how many times and he wanted me to sleep with Him... I am emotioning upset that I gave this man all those 5 years. Rebecca will this man ever regret what hes done to me I don't think so hes not normal and he has no empathy. What a piece of s*** hes not intelligent hes an idiot. When I met him I was very low down on myself. He pretended to be my hero and said to himself this lady has mone He owes me $7000 My brother in law wants me to cut my losses He is driving that nice truck with his new girlfriend. That is the reason why I do not want to cut my losses... His brother committed suicide and he went to the funeral only because he needed attention he never paid attention to him and I never met him. He said to me why are you crying you don't know that man. I had more feelings for that poor kid than he did. This guy is definitely a double and I was with one for so long. Please can somebody give me advice. I sent him a Gmail about narcissist and what they do to people Was that OK that I did that I did not talk to him when I threw him out and I Need some kind of closure. All the things that I did for him trying to help him he never even considered any of that and I know this is what Narcissist do.I don't want 2 c him. Every 5th month I need to collect my money I don't know what to do about this I'm afraid if he comes next to me I will hurt him this is what this man's done to me I was never a violent person but I feel so totally violated. As I'm giving him money hes f****** somebody else.. I know that there's a God theyeah that will take care of him because he has a mean soul for everybody I on the other hand care about people and I'm a giver. He just used me and I was so stupid. His father that too. His home It's all about the stuff that I bought they had a very dirty house and I did not like staying there I have my own room. He is a drunk he will find thismatch and there's going to be a bad one. I expoled them And I told him that hes a pathological liar and he was having a multiple interference He told me I was crazy I did not want to sleep with him because he was dirty. I've never told him how I felt but I did before I left him. What a sick mental person I listen to somebody's women and they don't date they're still hung up on their husbands or boyfriend b******* I'm already dating. I need to To be very careful I am doing this I do not want to be this angry inside. I love the gym because it makes me feel better. Him and his father are bad people
I forgot I also bought him a boat oh my God what was I doing. I have to go there to get my money can somebody advise me on what to do Payments for the truck that I bought. Which is supposed to be a 1000 however I'm only getting 500 so it's gonna take twice the time to pay it back I don't want him to drop me so I will continue to get my money MF I don't want to see him I'm afraid and I would not stoop down to his level I will probably send somebody over there to get my money maybe a date What do you think about that
What makes them panic is when you can call them out on lies with screenshots or texts. They can't keep track of their own lies but you can.
😂🤣😂.....like u do remember you said that right?...🤦🏾♂️
I did this once and he became super angry then he start defending himself. At first he explains everything and make it look that you are important to them but when the devaluing phase comes he just don't give a fck and blame you for everything instead , and he will call u crazy paranoid etc then discard u then later on contact u as if nothing happens and try to lure you again to feed their ego. I'm glad i don't beg him to comeback and start to realize that he's a narcissist
That’s why my ex calls me and doesn’t want to text things regarding custody, unless it’s to incriminate me or make me look bad. I SWEAR... But that’s fine, I’m already three steps ahead and emotionally ready for what’s under his sleeves.
Giiiirl! What you said.. I have saved text messages from 2009 i still refuse to get rid of with mine.. and was able to use 179 pages of over 250 screen shots of text messages from him to win an Order of Protection.. i was the only one who needed to testify and my response was only yes sir that’s correct, yes sir that was for him... as my attorney read text after text after text from him to me to the judge and a court room full of people... it was HUMILIATING but i knew it had to be done in order to STOP the daily harassment, threats and sexual requests...
My ran is def not over as we are gearing up to go back to court regarding the parenting plan i want changed.. idk if i will ever be rid of this evil man.. but I’ll be damn sure emotional ready for him.. and I’ll ensure my son is able to survive it as well!
Stay strong Ladies and Gents..
I just started reading your book yesterday. It's a fascinating read and I look forward to learning some new skills. I have an ex wife who I co-grandparent four children. I left her years ago, and have had very little interaction with her for about eight years, but since we've had to look after our grandchildren, I am forced to have to deal with her again. Long story short, she is still a nightmare and is causing all sorts of tension and anxiety between my wife and the grandchildren. Believe me, she has no bounds and will make EVERYTHING as difficult as possible. Anyway, your book and it's strategies will be tested to the limit with this one. Thanks for writing it.
Pushing back and exposing my narcissist brother was some of the most satisfying moments of my healing journey.
U nailed it, it's healing.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Totally! Having spent almost 10 years of my life with a narcissist, I can tell you this lady knows what she is talking about. I only wish I knew this information back then.
I agree, I stayed married for 30 years to my abuser. That was really stupid of me. I let him destroy half my life and my youth is gone.😔 I am in therapy to learn how to love myself cause I don't know how to live a normal life without questioning if I'm doing right or wrong. It's so sad.
I’m in a similar timeline. We’re still together, but I totally relate to the whole constant questioning yourself.
Been in a heavy devaluing of me stage right now, we usually bounce back.
Just remember you’re free now. You don’t have to question yourself.
I wish you all the best!
@Norma thank you so much for lifting my spirits. That was the nicest thing anyone has ever told me. Your the best and please stay Blessed. 💓😊
@@gingertully3505 The Most Important Is to Know..It's Not Your Fault!! You Are the Beautiful One❣️The Light✨️ is Brightening on You 🌞
Fact
1:30 this is exactly how my narc acted.
Made me feel like I couldn’t trust my own memories! Like my brain was broken, “selective dementia”
I told mine that today
Edward Black WAVE they make you feel like you’re going crazy? And they’re the only one that has enough guts/“heart” (haha gag) that’s being honest with you?
I remember when I told my ex, you're a pathological liar. She just stood there in awe. Her stories constantly changed, it was so maddening.
I was diagnosed with BPD and ended up with a narcissist. With my condition I have problems with abandonment and rejection, and my goodness did she play on those insecurities. It took a mountain of courage to finally leave . Thank you for these great videos. Narcissistic people are fascinating but so very dangerous and destructive
Great job❣️
Did you find those qualities in yourself during your healing process
Good job.
Mine is trying to figure out what will break me.
He’s trying to control everything. Literally… the food I eat, to my spending.
I’m doing all I can to not be dependent on him. He keeps saying that I have some brain problems etc.. which isn’t true. And big time gaslighter.
I have bpd. Have a very hard time with some women in golfclub. One in particular. Its tough. I expect she is smearing me and has her foot soldiers in on the act. I am miserable.
Narcissists are intimidating day in and out,no security,no life with a narcissist,very bad people.
Absolutely, Ive learnt alot about narcasism and flying monkeys, they are empty shells with no soul or nothing better off being single and happy.
totally
Totally! Realizing I have a "friend" that does this repeatedly, but I keep letting it go because, "they're stressed."
Stay strong! ❤
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
Don't let it go
@@chriscogley7216 Happy to report that I'm not friends with that person anymore!
my ex is a narcissist and i exposed him. he really didn’t see it coming. from the moment i realised he was a narcissist i never let him manipulate and mistreat me and his son. i’ve manage to outsmart him. he’s out of my life and get what i need from him
Best way is no1-ignore them,2-not sharing any single personal information with them,3-not sharing inner feeling with them,4-dont hit their fragile ego anytime just ignore all things they do and say
I don’t see the point on fighting fire with fire with a narcissist. It’s hard enough to be in a relationship with a narcissist when you want peace, I can’t even imagine the emotional wear and tear of making it even more conflictive.
Yes to everything you said
this is the most sensible thing I have heard and read here. I can almost guarantee that you'll come out as the (heavily injured) loser when trying to go against a narcissist especially in the ways suggested in this video...
It must have been a constant battle for my covert narcissist husband.
He couldn't guilt me into doing things.
He couldn't intimidate me.
He could never make me afraid of him.
But he sure tried all of that.
I did end up deathly ill because I held so much in and had no good energy supply.
And he was draining the life out of me.
He had turned my girls against me. So I had no support.
I was all alone with my abuser, until I wasn't.
I packed and saved for 3 years to be able to leave.
And now I am finally able to physically and emotionally heal.
Adult child living with a narrissic I was and still iam the scapgoat thank you God Bless you healing little by little I no longer feel suicidal and hopeless, worthless gaining strength every day with these videos Again God Bless You and Thank You
Hi Kendall,
God loves you and All of us that is and has been going through this understand what you are going through.
We love you and you are worth everything to us in this world.
Hugs and prayers.
This narc TOTALLY drained me for years!!! OMG
He did the same thing to me ole dirty demon
Hello how are you doing? My name is Greg
@@fidelisgreg4978 hi Greg
Me too for 23 yrs and in the last 18 months it has taken me to become ME again, not his robot. I quit being silent I will not live like that again it wasn't easy I wanted to die at first when I left then one day I said hell nobthis is what he wants. I lifted my ass up and kept goin. Homeless with nothing but I stayed away finally it is worth it it's like being reborn....
I caught myself thinking "we shouldn't be so harsh on these people. I don't want to be mean" lol. -an empath
I think we all feel like that, but I am learning that it is not being harsh when you are protecting yourself from emotional rape.
Ikr lol
@@misstidoy i never thought of that word till now "EMOTIONAL RAPIST " spot on
Me too! But they find a way!! Especially when kids are involved!!
Theramintrees uses the anololgy of a star and a black hole. The star being the empath and the black hole being the narc. You can outshine a black hole it will eat you up.
I love how you delete all comments that disagree with you! It speaks wonders about you!!!
I am totally going through this with my husband of a year and a month
I'm done and I want him out of my place yesterday
Be safe. 💜
Thank you! Lie, cheat, steal, divert, deflect, project, smear, retaliate and then play the victim. Pushing back and exposing and taking control solved a lot of problems. Better late than never.
You couldn't have put this more succinctly.
Georgina D Long but Is the hacked material admissible in court? In some states I believe it’s considered an invasion of privacy & all of that information will just be thrown out & then you get in trouble- not the narc 🤦♀️🙄
They make terrible parents as well
In all of these advise videos, no has commented, ‘I love what the narc is doing to me. This is the life I want.’ Thank you for these videos, however, the best thing to do is RUUUNNNNN!!! Don’t walk, just Runnnnn
What's funny is that when she describes these symptoms, it reminds me of Republicans.. so in reality you can't run away because they are everywhere and can be anyone at work, school, family, friends.. wow.. of course narcs can be any political side. Brian Laundrie's parents are Democrats.. but, I'm just basing it on what I see a lot in the comments, the media, how people conduct themselves on their YT channels, on social media, and the political arena
Thank you so much for your advice it has helped me a lot. I was blind folded by him 😢
This might help you better > www.icanslay.com