I just ctrl+V'd with no idea what it'd be and it was... nothing 💀 I had nothing copied. Please do not fabricate replies but do feel free to paste here, RIGHT NOW as you're reading this, and if anything appears, hit reply! 😊
@@Matt_Rose I hate this riddle, I looked it up to and somehow got Jenga, she was killed by the wood falling on her and landing on the handle of the scissors
@@osasunaitor I though that since it didn't say the age of Mrs. Faster she might have been on life support and the scissors cut the oxygen line. Makes more sense than the friggin' waterbed answer.
i was so annoyed when i saw this obviously stupid riddle that i just decided that the scissors were made out of a poisonous material and she tried to eat them
The waterbed thing sucks because the scissors weren't used to kill her. If the scissors count as what killed her than the socks where also used to kill her since they let the killer move quiet on the carpet that was also used to kill her.
@@Model3140digitalalarmclock. What he’s saying is the scissors weren’t the direct cause of death, the water was. The scissors were a tool just as important as anything else that helped commit the crime, including the carpet allowing the assailant to sneak up on Mrs Faster.
I am all of those and more ( I can turn female so I can be a girlboss). Low-key I'm a god. They call me Loki. I'm the one they want see low-key. I'm the god most wanted Loki and I love to love me.
I recently had to take a psychological evaluation, and apparently deciphering and speaking gibberish accurately was one of the tests in order to gauge intelligence. Based on this, Matt Rose must be one of the smartest beings to ever exist in this realm
I find this a common problem of the riddles I heard. I could just be a dumbass.. but it feels like they thrive on basically gotcha reveals you were literally supposed to pull out of your ass or by some throwaway comment in the beginning. The dumbass theory is still largely common as to why most riddles annoy me... maybe it's just what I heard!
Okay, "drowned in her own waterbed" seems way too convaluted of an answer. I was thinking she had an IV or ventilator of some kind & the murderer cut the tube.
Surely that's not even possible. Are waterbeds even deep enough to drown someone and would the water even stay in place? I'd be inclined to think most of the water would spill out with the weight of the person.
I nearly chocked on my fried mushroom at the associate's name part, lol. How you manage to read these with a straight face never ceases to amaze me, Matt Rose.
For the record, love the editing choice to cut back and forth between trying to solve the riddle and slogging through longest, most awkward post (the facebook marketplace one) in between all the rapid fire posts. It's my favorite kind of pacing for humor.
4:29 i started laughing in the middle of study hall and then I close the tab only to be greeted by a picture of Hitler and Stalin marrying each other that I found in World Studies.
the amount of weird shit ive copied from fanfictions or weird texts with friends and then accidentally pasted them into zoom or class documents is astounding. you'd think i'd have learned by now. have i? NOPE.
A Walter White image as a response to "What idea is the writer concerned about?" Actually works so well as a meta answer. Like ,the writer is concerned about the idea of a complex antihero protagonist.
I once copied some text in French to look it up on Google translate and found out it was quite nsfw. A bit later I tried to paste something else for a French-speaking friend and... you can guess what I accidentally sent them 💀
I've done that with Russian once. Was copy-pasting a thing in Russian I'd seen on a Q&A forum that turned out to be some rather creative insults. And you can guess what I happened to paste by mistake into a chat room full of people who speak Russian...
Did the same thing like two days ago but with a screenshot of some Mandarin text in a video. It said "damn, so handsome." I sent it to my friend. Help.
I think it would be funny if Matt did a video on “I stubbed my toe and accidentally said…” because I have seen some absolute brilliant ones on Twitter lmao
i once got into the habit of saying "fridge" instead of swearing, however i accidentally trained my brain into replacing ALL swear words or even mild exclamations with "fridge" halfway through the word which resulted in screaming "CRADGE" whenever i stubbed my toe
I once said "OW, MY KRIFFIN' TOE!!!!!" When I stubbed my toe on the leg of my dining table (I'm a fairly avid Star Wars fan and that's a mild expletive used in the cg animated clone wars series, for those who don't know what that means)
I was watching a twitch stream while writing fanfic and I accidentally copy pasted the ENTIRE FANFIC INTO THE CHAT. It was a slow chat too. So they definitely saw it. And it was a shippy fic too. Kinda steamy. I was so mortified I immediately deleted my entire twitch account.
Literally had to pause the video because I was laughing so hard at the scooter kid email signature. The way you deliver these lines sends me. Always makes my day when you post 🌷
this reminds me of college when we would write wacky lines buried in the middle of our mates' essays while they weren't looking and hope they wouldnt notice before submitting. man it was satisfying showing them what they just sent their professor. not fun being on the receiving end though
I almost sent the entire Yoshikage kira speech to my mom once. I was supposed to send her a link to the kaspersky website that was on my clipboard. The only reason that I noticed is because its so fuсking long, so glad that I didn't because I am not about to explain jojo part 4 to her. Edit: spelling error
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I’m 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don’t smoke, but I occasionally drink. I’m in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I’m trying to explain that I’m a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn’t lose to anyone.
I like my answer to the riddle better. You mentioned the puppet option and I thought, oh - -she's in a hospital bed and the scissors cut her life support.-
i was trying to advertise the merchandise ive collected for my collection to let go for some funds, and instead of one of the pictures, i accidentally sent the meme screenshot of lemongrab telling bubblegum to. “unmake him”
4:40 I feel you, Darcy. We've all done it. For anyone curious, that NaNoWriMo document is about 160,000 words, based on my 200,000 characters being about 57,000 words.
I resurrected a thirty person outlook group chat from sixth grade three years after it was abandoned because of drama. I meant to send a link to a survey I needed for school to get it to as many random people as possible. I accidentally sent the link to a Taylor Swift music video and everyone in the chat was confused about why I brought back the most cursed chat for a music video.
"For example, in all known cases of sexual signal mimicry it is always the male sex that is deceived." As it turns out, this is one of the few things in my clipboard that isn't about snakes bleeding from their eyes.
I have a screenshot of an anime I haven't seen that I found on Images. I also keep forgetting I have my keyboard set to Finnish (I'm learning) and seeing leikepöytä there startled me
As a detective I I’m sure I’d have clearance to know she slept on a waterbed smh. I doubt that would even work realistically. The bed would lose water really fast, her struggle would make it faster, along with the weight of the murderer on the bed trying to hold her down. Just using the scissors against her neck as a brace could choke her out, much more effective. Trust me, I’d know
@@Bubblegum-Cupcake If I was being drowned I’m sure I’d wake up pretty quick into it. But I didn’t know mrs faster so I can’t say for sure if she was capable of sleeping through her own murder
Once, when I was trying to paste a response to someone in virtual classes, I accidentally pasted 5 pages of my fanfiction that I had copied. Note that it was 5 pages from google docs, with the letters being at size 11. Worst part? There were spaces between paragraphs, so I couldn't just click twice and then backspace it.
I don’t know what OS you were using, but ctrl+a will select all content within a text box. You can then use backspace. If you were on iOS, you can gently shake your phone to find the undo button, or double tap a word to find the select all button
Sometimes my high school social studies teacher would give us those weird riddles where you’d have to think like an alien to solve. They did make us think outside the box and some of the answers we’d give were hilarious.
i just ctrl v'd and got "The star is seen as a “guide on the path of progress and honour,” while the blue stands for the sky. The white stripe corresponds to the snow of the Andes Mountains, the red stripe below reminding citizens of the blood of those who sacrificed themselves for the fatherland."
One time was sending a friend some artwork. I sent them the artwork- but I also sent them a screenshot of someone’s tumblr blog explaining why the kaiju Otachi from the film _Pacific Rim_ is a lesbian. (For the record, we have no canon indication of Otachi’s or any other kaiju’s sexuality, but the word otachi is Japanese slang for a masculine lesbian, so the fandom naturally has thoughts on that. The meaning behind the name in the film is it sounds similar to odachi, or _big sword_ which is relevant to the film for a reason that’s a spoiler).
@@Geospasmic Well, not canonically, but yeah, I like it too. Although a fair portion of the fandom is against "Otachi as lesbian" because it falls into bury your gays and queer-coded villain stuff, etc, and also it's a relatively new headcanon that hasn't spread far yet. These days it's also becoming popular to make Biollante from the Heisei Godzilla movies lesbian as well. _She_ tends to get paired with Mothra in a Butch x Femme setup, as well as for the aesthetic of "genetically-engineered abomination x goddess of nature", and the obligatory jokes about flowers and butterflies.
Yeah, I also thought the IV was the best answer, but there are others. Maybe the scissors were used to cut a bag to get a big enough piece of plastic to suffocate her? Maybe she choked on the scissors? Maybe the scissors were waved back and forth to hypnotize her into dying from sheer force of will? Maybe the scissors were used to cut all her clothes off and it was winter in russia and the room was unheated? Maybe the scissors were just held menacingly and used to threaten her into taking too many pills? I could keep going for hours...
i have the lyrics to the big bang theory theme song in my clipboard, here you go Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools We built a wall (we built the pyramids) Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries That all started with the big bang (bang) Since the dawn of man is really not that long As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song A fraction of a second and the elements were made The bipeds stood up straight, the dinosaurs all met their fate They tried to leap but they were late And they all died (they froze their asses off) The oceans and Pangea, see ya wouldn't wanna be ya Set in motion by the same big bang It all started with the big bang It's expanding ever outward but one day It will pause and start to go the other way Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it won't be heard Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang Australopithecus would really have been sick of us Debating how we're here, they're catching deer (we're catching viruses) Religion or astronomy (Descartes or Deuteronomy) It all started with the big bang Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology It all started with the big bang It all started with the big bang
I have these lyrics: In my life, I was Noel Gruber who worked at Taco Bell in Uranium City, Saskatchewan But, in my dreams, I played a different role I was Monique Gibeau in post-war France A hooker with a heart of black charcoal I write poems to burn by firelight Drink champagne and guzzle gin Good girls call me "the town bicycle" Don't knock it 'til you've tried my life of sin Oh, Claude, my pimp, knows never mess with me Last prick did that faded quick to black I have no idea where to find him, officers But if you do, please mention that I'd like to have returned The pretty knife That I stuck ten times in his back For I sing songs until the break of dawn I embrace a new man every night My life's one never-ending carnival A world of boozy-floozy flashing light I want to be that fucked-up girl He said, "I think I am in love with you" I've heard that lie a million times before Oh, tonight I give in to the fantasy Take love when you can, when you're a whore For I sing songs until the break of dawn I embrace a new man every night My life's one never-ending carnival A world of boozy-floozy flashing light I want to be that fucked-up girl So now I sell my love for opium In some rat-infested Chinese dive At night I burn myself with cigarettes Just to somehow prove I'm still alive Eight months later, I catch typhoid flu Kicked out, I see the ugly light of day Dying in an alley, a priest kneels down to me "My child, do you have any final words to the Lord you'd like to say?" "Oui. Tell him that, like him, I choose to burn out rather than fade away" For I sing songs until the break of dawn I embrace a new man every night My life's one never-ending carnival A world of boozy-floozy flashing light For I sing songs until the break of dawn I embrace a new man every night My life's one never ending carnival A world of boozy-floozy flashing light I want to be that fucked-up girl I wanna be that fucked-up (girl) Broken heart, a flask of gin Tattooed with a safety pin Teeth all stained with nicotine Running nylons, shattered dreams Super crusty, holy terror Wild eyes and black mascara Broken heart, a flask of gin Tattooed with a safety pin Teeth all stained with nicotine Running nylons, shattered dreams Super crusty, holy terror Wild eyes and black mascara If I could have just one dream (ahh) (If he could have just one dream) I'd be that fucked-up girl! Hey!
i have this copy and pasted (don’t ask why): Two trains, Train A and Train B, simultaneously depart Station A and Station B. Station A and Station B are 252.5 miles apart from each other. Train A is moving at 124.7mph towards Station B, and Train B is moving at 253.5mph towards station A. If both trains departed at 10:00AM and it is now 10:08, how much longer until both trains pass each other? (if you get the reference you get the reference)
6:05 Surely a better answer was that Mrs. Faster was on life support and someone cut the cord with scissors I now realise I am not the first to make this comment
In college, I spilled tea on my laptop and the "n" key never worked again. Every morning I would Google something, and find an "n" to copy and paste for the day. I got so fluent in pasting every "n" while I typed that I would do it on every computer I used out of habit. Such an odd skill, resulting in many, many messed up MSN chats.
my best experience was in computer class in 10th grade, me and the boys were doing anything other than work on the pc as usual (i showed them how to replace their mouse cursor png so we made them images like Juan and wet owl) and my friend had the wet owl image in his clipboard. When 2 teachers went over to check on his work in excel, he accidentally pasted the gigantic wet owl image into the excel right infront of the 2 serious teachers behind him, and frantically tried deleting it. Me and 2 others on the table were hysterical. I was looking over at his screen when it happened. He was laughing himself. The teachers were not amused. I was still wheezing for minutes after. I had so many good memories from there.
I accidentally sent a screen recording of something on my phone to my friend without realizing it was playing one of those audios in the background💀 Thank fuck he didn’t watch it with audio
My guess for the riddle was that someone used the scissors to cut a piece of fabric and smother her with it, and honestly that sounds more plausible than drowning in a water bed.
I thought the answer to the riddle was that she had an anvil over her bed and cut the rope holding it up like a Looney tunes cartoon, and it crushed Her.
0:33 Imagine asking for a menu and you got this. Disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions, and identity.😂
The only thing I had copy-pasted at the time of upload was a USPS tracking number, but when I was younger (and stupider) I would CONSTANTLY copy-paste the lyrics to 'Happiness is Not a Warm Scalpel' from Repo! The Genetic Opera (complete with character parts), and I would always have to brace myself when I went to copy-paste something just in case I had it up 💀💀💀 And look, I copypasted some skull emojis and nothing happened! I think I'm safe IVE NEVER BEEN SO SURGICALLY MAIMED!
I used to do that all the time but it reminds me of the phrase [Amber:] I've never been so surgically maimed! [Rotti:] Amber, please, it's not that bad. [Amber:] I'll be the laughingstock of the stage! [Rotti:] Daughter, please, it's not so bad. [Amber:] This is your fault! I asked you to help me! [Rotti:] Now, amber, please. I warned you about this. Happiness is not a warm scalpel. [Amber:] I don't care! it's not fair! [Rotti:] Baby, baby, baby, don't do this. [Amber:] I will never sing again! [Rotti:] I gave you the life I wished I'd had. [Amber:] I look like a crime scene, dad. [Rotti:] All you ever do is take, take, take. all I ever do is give. I said nothing when you came to me Asking, "can I be asian?" [Amber:] That surgery was only $90 grand! [Rotti:] I did not complain When you changed your name From largo to sweet. [Amber:] I need a stage name! [Rotti:] You are a disgrace! Your genes are not worthy of mine!
![[UNCUT] “บอสณวัฒน์” ลากไส้!! ใครหนุนหลัง "แม่ตั๊ก ป๋าเบียร์" I คนดังนั่งเคลียร์ I 30 ก.ย. 67](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QlD7mU2KKRk/mqdefault.jpg)
I just ctrl+V'd with no idea what it'd be and it was... nothing 💀 I had nothing copied. Please do not fabricate replies but do feel free to paste here, RIGHT NOW as you're reading this, and if anything appears, hit reply! 😊
Hi matt 🤭
th-cam.com/video/CYM8zvXS-pI/w-d-xo.html
my fave song at the moment
o
ass
Hello Matthew
Somebody naturally used the scissors to cut Mrs. Faster's life support
THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT
Maybe Mrs. Faster swallowed the scissors?
@@Matt_Rose I hate this riddle, I looked it up to and somehow got Jenga, she was killed by the wood falling on her and landing on the handle of the scissors
@@Matt_Rose really? I thought she swallowed the scissors
@@scruffythejanitor1969omg I did not see this reply before writing my own
“She’s a puppet” is a much better answer to the riddle, well done Matt
It's actually very clever.
I'm gonna tell my kids that this was the real answer
@@osasunaitor I though that since it didn't say the age of Mrs. Faster she might have been on life support and the scissors cut the oxygen line. Makes more sense than the friggin' waterbed answer.
That was my thought too @@dragonmage372
I thought she was a robot and they cut her wires
i thought she ate it
That riddle was thrash tho, can't blame Matt for not solving it
My answer was that the person choked her with the part of the scissors you hold.
mine was they cut off a part of the curtains and suffocated her to death
My answer was that she was on a hospital bed and the scissors cut off her life support
@@ImaginaryAlchemist This answer is better than the actual one
I was, for some reason, thinking she ran with the scissors and that she just died from doing that
The actual answer to that riddle makes my suggestion: „She stuck the scissors into an Outlet“ seem much more plausible.
But wouldn't that leave burns?
@@andrewshouse9840 no signs of cuts or bruises, not burns
I'm just impressed at how you managed to fit a B and C plot into a TH-cam video shorter than 10 minutes
I genuinely hate riddles that purpousfully leave vital details out and say "GOTCHA! Bet you didn't get that one!"
it's not the leaving out of details, I just don't think cutting a water bed would drown someone
@@m310grass Yeah, seriously
@@m310grassI thought they cut the life support lol
i was so annoyed when i saw this obviously stupid riddle that i just decided that the scissors were made out of a poisonous material and she tried to eat them
@@kdesikdosi5900i think swallowing scissors of any type would be leathal
I can’t express how fluent you are in gibberish it’s amazing
gibberish is his home language
LEAVE
@@theoldpea1 he will only leave if you fight him in a duel
@@theoldpea1 hehehe
*you can never rid me*
@@CoolLookinPea fight to see which pea is better
The waterbed thing sucks because the scissors weren't used to kill her. If the scissors count as what killed her than the socks where also used to kill her since they let the killer move quiet on the carpet that was also used to kill her.
Maybe the fabric on the waterbed was cut
@@Model3140digitalalarmclock. What he’s saying is the scissors weren’t the direct cause of death, the water was. The scissors were a tool just as important as anything else that helped commit the crime, including the carpet allowing the assailant to sneak up on Mrs Faster.
That's most riddles tbh, how would anyone get to that answer on their own
@@TheEvilTH-cam That's most bad riddle, not good riddles or even mediocre riddles.
not only that, it says that she is lying dead ON a bed, not IN a bed. therefore, that cannot be the answer
“i am a girlboss i am a war criminal i am a lunatic. i am clinically insane” made me laugh way harder than it should have
Sounds like some unimaginably cheap imitation of the opening lines of Fyodor's "Notes from Underground".
serbianski gorlboss
It continues "I am the next virgin Mary and I am never going to die
i found this comment just as that moment you are talking about played
I am all of those and more ( I can turn female so I can be a girlboss). Low-key I'm a god. They call me Loki. I'm the one they want see low-key. I'm the god most wanted Loki and I love to love me.
Matt has a special ability to completely understand and say gibberish
And I thought that was just called being British 😂
He speaks the ancient language of the prehistoric Martians
Yes and it’s wonderful
the sixth sense
Fr
I told the riddle to my dad, and he immediately said “they cut her iv drip.” And I immediately realized how much of a better answer that is
OBJECTION! *slams desk*
IVs can bruise the patient
Therefore, it's more likely it was a ventilator!
@@dumb214 OBJECTION! *slams desk* I didn’t know that!
Injections! I didn’t know that either
How do you edit
@@ethancampbell245 you press the three dots at the end of your comment, and then an option for edit should come up
The one email with the boy on the scooter brought me to that point of laughter where your lungs are completely empty and you're just convulsing
I recently had to take a psychological evaluation, and apparently deciphering and speaking gibberish accurately was one of the tests in order to gauge intelligence.
Based on this, Matt Rose must be one of the smartest beings to ever exist in this realm
bro not dapz
you know it's a good video when a being of infinite power comments
@@ziya4426yep
English is gibberish
58S2CHJGK2JR2PB5
I feel betrayed by the answer to the riddle. We weren't informed she slept on a waterbed, so how were we supposed to figure it out?
I find this a common problem of the riddles I heard. I could just be a dumbass.. but it feels like they thrive on basically gotcha reveals you were literally supposed to pull out of your ass or by some throwaway comment in the beginning. The dumbass theory is still largely common as to why most riddles annoy me... maybe it's just what I heard!
And wouldn’t she be *inside* the bed
Yeah, and there's better explanations. The best one I can think of is someone cut off her life support.
I thought someone stabbed her in the heart with the scissors then stitched up the cut and cleaned the scissors to get rid of the evidence
It's supposed to be a black stories thing where you play with someone else that has to guess it by asking Yes/No questions
Okay, "drowned in her own waterbed" seems way too convaluted of an answer. I was thinking she had an IV or ventilator of some kind & the murderer cut the tube.
And I thought she swallowed the scissors😊
technically she wouldnt even be on the bed anymore, but in it
+
Surely that's not even possible. Are waterbeds even deep enough to drown someone and would the water even stay in place? I'd be inclined to think most of the water would spill out with the weight of the person.
I was thinking strips cut off the bedsheets used to strangle.
I nearly chocked on my fried mushroom at the associate's name part, lol. How you manage to read these with a straight face never ceases to amaze me, Matt Rose.
*C H O C K E D*
For the record, love the editing choice to cut back and forth between trying to solve the riddle and slogging through longest, most awkward post (the facebook marketplace one) in between all the rapid fire posts. It's my favorite kind of pacing for humor.
I agree!
It also works because in the context of the video you don't know whether it's over, like could've legitimately been the end but wait there's more
i love it anytime they do that
He did that in a recent one about kids taking something to school 3 separate times. When the punch line fell, I almost pissed myself.
4:29 i started laughing in the middle of study hall and then I close the tab only to be greeted by a picture of Hitler and Stalin marrying each other that I found in World Studies.
LMAOO
Bro got hit with that comedy combo
@@DaKingKaydenskuhull emoji
@@gamer_glenn5438💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Ah, was just about to search up your channel, Mr. Rose. Not only do you have the ability to comprehend nonsense, you have foresight and/or telepathy.
I knew you were gonna say that
@@Matt_Rose yes
@@Matt_Rose I JUST REMEMBERED THIS FOR NO REASON AND CAME BACK, FINALLY UNDERSTANDING THE JOKE JHJHJAJJDJAJSDJFA 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
@@pikmintopia My reaction to your reply: 4:18
the amount of weird shit ive copied from fanfictions or weird texts with friends and then accidentally pasted them into zoom or class documents is astounding. you'd think i'd have learned by now. have i? NOPE.
A Walter White image as a response to "What idea is the writer concerned about?" Actually works so well as a meta answer. Like ,the writer is concerned about the idea of a complex antihero protagonist.
“Waltuh….type in a different answer Waltuh. I’m not looking at memes with you right now Waltuh.
I'm dead the way he kept going back to the riddle and the guy who ctrl+V'd his desperate insufferable plea for romance had me rolling
I once copied some text in French to look it up on Google translate and found out it was quite nsfw. A bit later I tried to paste something else for a French-speaking friend and... you can guess what I accidentally sent them 💀
I've done that with Russian once. Was copy-pasting a thing in Russian I'd seen on a Q&A forum that turned out to be some rather creative insults. And you can guess what I happened to paste by mistake into a chat room full of people who speak Russian...
@@RyanTosh”suka” - that Russian guy
Did the same thing like two days ago but with a screenshot of some Mandarin text in a video. It said "damn, so handsome." I sent it to my friend. Help.
oh no
@@beek.4860Well? Is he?
That sounds like one of those riddles where you're required to ask questions to figure out more about the situation
Lateral thinking puzzles?
I think it would be funny if Matt did a video on “I stubbed my toe and accidentally said…” because I have seen some absolute brilliant ones on Twitter lmao
i once got into the habit of saying "fridge" instead of swearing, however i accidentally trained my brain into replacing ALL swear words or even mild exclamations with "fridge" halfway through the word which resulted in screaming "CRADGE" whenever i stubbed my toe
I just said “Ow”, yeah I’m so quirky.
I once said "OW, MY KRIFFIN' TOE!!!!!" When I stubbed my toe on the leg of my dining table
(I'm a fairly avid Star Wars fan and that's a mild expletive used in the cg animated clone wars series, for those who don't know what that means)
If that happens, I wouldn't say anything, but instead...
Internal screaming.
well, my brother once fell down the stairs and proceeded to swear so loudly and profusely in russian that our dad came down and smacked him for it
I thought the answer to the riddle was gonna be that they used the scissors to cut her life support
Best answer
i thought she choked on them
@@fritzneuer4347 why would you choke someone with a pair of scissors
@@Ashelybee it seems practical ya know
I’m German and I’m not nearly as good at speaking gibberish as Matt, isn’t that our whole thing?
the pfp just made it funnier
Only if it's in our language :D
Äöüß
@@robinrehlinghaus1944 what
No it's Poland's
5:00 ok wtf were they reading!? 😂🤨💀
Porn
maybe they were writing it
That killed me
Matt's James Acaster impression was surprisingly good
It’s so fucking great!
Yep came to see if anyone mentioned it. Had me in stiches
It was
plot twist: he *is* james acaster
@@Tumbleflop that would make a lot of sense
I was watching a twitch stream while writing fanfic and I accidentally copy pasted the ENTIRE FANFIC INTO THE CHAT.
It was a slow chat too. So they definitely saw it. And it was a shippy fic too. Kinda steamy. I was so mortified I immediately deleted my entire twitch account.
great god
can i read it
Can u link it?
Please link it
was the fanfic about the twitch streamers 😦
I really enjoy the fact you put a realistic cadence behind any phrase even if the situation does not call for it
6:12 yeah that's a terrible answer, I just went with her being on life support with an oxygen tank or something, and the tube/cables got cut.
That is way better of an answer than this piece of crap answer
She choked on the blunt end of the scissors, leaving no bruises or cuts to be found.
@@JakeTLTThat's what I was thinking
@JakeTLT she choke on a blunt? Damn
4:20 The fact that he voiced this old meme is proof we live in a society
Literally had to pause the video because I was laughing so hard at the scooter kid email signature. The way you deliver these lines sends me. Always makes my day when you post 🌷
Yeah, that one made me laugh the hardest for some reason
this reminds me of college when we would write wacky lines buried in the middle of our mates' essays while they weren't looking and hope they wouldnt notice before submitting. man it was satisfying showing them what they just sent their professor. not fun being on the receiving end though
4:06 Analog Horror jumpscares be like:
The Intruder vibes
Eye pain
The image maybe, but definitely not the sound. Heugh!
As an analog horror creator, yes.
Am i the only one who finds the drawing behind sus
5:55 im dying right now
gerry hamilton got caught in 4k
Roquan Smith visited THAT place?!
🟧⬛
"And finally, PORNHUB"
fair play, that James Acaster impression was spot on lol
I'm definitely copying and pasting this great video's link to my friends! Doing great, Paul!
I almost sent the entire Yoshikage kira speech to my mom once. I was supposed to send her a link to the kaspersky website that was on my clipboard. The only reason that I noticed is because its so fuсking long, so glad that I didn't because I am not about to explain jojo part 4 to her.
Edit: spelling error
Yeah I've done that one
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I’m 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don’t smoke, but I occasionally drink. I’m in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning.
I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I’m trying to explain that I’m a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn’t lose to anyone.
I like my answer to the riddle better. You mentioned the puppet option and I thought, oh - -she's in a hospital bed and the scissors cut her life support.-
i was trying to advertise the merchandise ive collected for my collection to let go for some funds, and instead of one of the pictures, i accidentally sent the meme screenshot of lemongrab telling bubblegum to. “unmake him”
3:25
Writing a paper sleep deprived at 3:00am with a dozen other assignments due be like:
lol funny number
he was keeping three storylines going at once 🤣
4:40 I feel you, Darcy. We've all done it.
For anyone curious, that NaNoWriMo document is about 160,000 words, based on my 200,000 characters being about 57,000 words.
so based on that they tripled the expected word count before the month even ended
1:52 I can see someone making a beat out of this.
Y e s
I’ll try to make it maybe
i love how your channel always has the funniest video ideas
5:30
Unbelievable. You *subject name here* must be the pride and joy of *subject hometown here* !
Here are the results of the test: you are a horrible person.
Portal refrence🎉
One of the best lines in portal
matt saying “i am a girlboss” is the best thing i’ve ever heard
Mrs Faster was suffocated to death with the blunt end of the scissors, have an amazing day! :)
I resurrected a thirty person outlook group chat from sixth grade three years after it was abandoned because of drama. I meant to send a link to a survey I needed for school to get it to as many random people as possible.
I accidentally sent the link to a Taylor Swift music video and everyone in the chat was confused about why I brought back the most cursed chat for a music video.
"For example, in all known cases of sexual signal mimicry it is always the male sex that is deceived."
As it turns out, this is one of the few things in my clipboard that isn't about snakes bleeding from their eyes.
A bit concerning. All I have is “Don’t Lick that”
I have a screenshot of an anime I haven't seen that I found on Images. I also keep forgetting I have my keyboard set to Finnish (I'm learning) and seeing leikepöytä there startled me
@@NekoChanSenpai damm, another thing I have on my clipboard is “Have you been checking them out”
@@Jobi.i think that might be worse in this context.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digital_Light_Processing?wprov=sfla1
Well that's boring.
I emailed my friends the entire script of Pinocchio: a true story. It crashed when I pasted it in
2:39 That's a very short black man.
0:36 *to waiter* I'll have the disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions, and identity, thanks.
Ok you come with me to the surgeon room
As a detective I I’m sure I’d have clearance to know she slept on a waterbed smh. I doubt that would even work realistically. The bed would lose water really fast, her struggle would make it faster, along with the weight of the murderer on the bed trying to hold her down. Just using the scissors against her neck as a brace could choke her out, much more effective. Trust me, I’d know
Though it’s implied they drowned her in her sleep so she wouldn’t struggle or have to be held down. Still though, way unrealistic.
@@Bubblegum-Cupcake If I was being drowned I’m sure I’d wake up pretty quick into it. But I didn’t know mrs faster so I can’t say for sure if she was capable of sleeping through her own murder
Not to mention all the spilled water
that’s what i thought the answer would be because it was the only possible one without missing information
Once, when I was trying to paste a response to someone in virtual classes, I accidentally pasted 5 pages of my fanfiction that I had copied. Note that it was 5 pages from google docs, with the letters being at size 11. Worst part? There were spaces between paragraphs, so I couldn't just click twice and then backspace it.
I don’t know what OS you were using, but ctrl+a will select all content within a text box. You can then use backspace. If you were on iOS, you can gently shake your phone to find the undo button, or double tap a word to find the select all button
it'll work next time
just remember what rick astley said:
suck my pp daddy
ctrl-z for undo
1:35 well fuck me because i thought they cut her life support
they used the scissors handle and gave her blunt force trauma
2:52 the the thing it translated to was actually “kdslshjlhrtneyj” so i have no clue how it got “you have a nice meal” 😂
I got to the letter C and got “your submissiveness”
@@sophiebrown1847femboy king
@@PugnaciousProductions Lmaooo
@@PugnaciousProductions frr the femboy version of your highness
I got green, bold, bold
Sometimes my high school social studies teacher would give us those weird riddles where you’d have to think like an alien to solve. They did make us think outside the box and some of the answers we’d give were hilarious.
i just ctrl v'd and got
"The star is seen as a “guide on the path of progress and honour,” while the blue stands for the sky. The white stripe corresponds to the snow of the Andes Mountains, the red stripe below reminding citizens of the blood of those who sacrificed themselves for the fatherland."
One time was sending a friend some artwork.
I sent them the artwork- but I also sent them a screenshot of someone’s tumblr blog explaining why the kaiju Otachi from the film _Pacific Rim_ is a lesbian.
(For the record, we have no canon indication of Otachi’s or any other kaiju’s sexuality, but the word otachi is Japanese slang for a masculine lesbian, so the fandom naturally has thoughts on that. The meaning behind the name in the film is it sounds similar to odachi, or _big sword_ which is relevant to the film for a reason that’s a spoiler).
I love that there's a butch Kaiju though
@@Geospasmic Well, not canonically, but yeah, I like it too. Although a fair portion of the fandom is against "Otachi as lesbian" because it falls into bury your gays and queer-coded villain stuff, etc, and also it's a relatively new headcanon that hasn't spread far yet. These days it's also becoming popular to make Biollante from the Heisei Godzilla movies lesbian as well. _She_ tends to get paired with Mothra in a Butch x Femme setup, as well as for the aesthetic of "genetically-engineered abomination x goddess of nature", and the obligatory jokes about flowers and butterflies.
Yeah, I also thought the IV was the best answer, but there are others. Maybe the scissors were used to cut a bag to get a big enough piece of plastic to suffocate her? Maybe she choked on the scissors? Maybe the scissors were waved back and forth to hypnotize her into dying from sheer force of will? Maybe the scissors were used to cut all her clothes off and it was winter in russia and the room was unheated? Maybe the scissors were just held menacingly and used to threaten her into taking too many pills? I could keep going for hours...
"In her room, at [OBESE BART SIMPSON] PM" made me laugh so much
0:56 The copy pasted lyrics were hilarious 😂
0:13 Oh Boy! A New Time: OBESE BART SIMPSON PM
My favorite time of day!
My favorite number
i usually sleep at simpson time
best time of the day for sure
I’ve had many of these
3:47 This one has to be my favorite
i have the lyrics to the big bang theory theme song in my clipboard, here you go
Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait
The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool
Neanderthals developed tools
We built a wall (we built the pyramids)
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries
That all started with the big bang (bang)
Since the dawn of man is really not that long
As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song
A fraction of a second and the elements were made
The bipeds stood up straight, the dinosaurs all met their fate
They tried to leap but they were late
And they all died (they froze their asses off)
The oceans and Pangea, see ya wouldn't wanna be ya
Set in motion by the same big bang
It all started with the big bang
It's expanding ever outward but one day
It will pause and start to go the other way
Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it won't be heard
Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang
Australopithecus would really have been sick of us
Debating how we're here, they're catching deer (we're catching viruses)
Religion or astronomy (Descartes or Deuteronomy)
It all started with the big bang
Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology
It all started with the big bang
It all started with the big bang
I have these lyrics:
In my life, I was Noel Gruber who worked at Taco Bell in Uranium City, Saskatchewan
But, in my dreams, I played a different role
I was Monique Gibeau in post-war France
A hooker with a heart of black charcoal
I write poems to burn by firelight
Drink champagne and guzzle gin
Good girls call me "the town bicycle"
Don't knock it 'til you've tried my life of sin
Oh, Claude, my pimp, knows never mess with me
Last prick did that faded quick to black
I have no idea where to find him, officers
But if you do, please mention that I'd like to have returned
The pretty knife
That I stuck ten times in his back
For I sing songs until the break of dawn
I embrace a new man every night
My life's one never-ending carnival
A world of boozy-floozy flashing light
I want to be that fucked-up girl
He said, "I think I am in love with you"
I've heard that lie a million times before
Oh, tonight I give in to the fantasy
Take love when you can, when you're a whore
For I sing songs until the break of dawn
I embrace a new man every night
My life's one never-ending carnival
A world of boozy-floozy flashing light
I want to be that fucked-up girl
So now I sell my love for opium
In some rat-infested Chinese dive
At night I burn myself with cigarettes
Just to somehow prove I'm still alive
Eight months later, I catch typhoid flu
Kicked out, I see the ugly light of day
Dying in an alley, a priest kneels down to me
"My child, do you have any final words to the Lord you'd like to say?"
"Oui. Tell him that, like him, I choose to burn out rather than fade away"
For I sing songs until the break of dawn
I embrace a new man every night
My life's one never-ending carnival
A world of boozy-floozy flashing light
For I sing songs until the break of dawn
I embrace a new man every night
My life's one never ending carnival
A world of boozy-floozy flashing light
I want to be that fucked-up girl
I wanna be that fucked-up (girl)
Broken heart, a flask of gin
Tattooed with a safety pin
Teeth all stained with nicotine
Running nylons, shattered dreams
Super crusty, holy terror
Wild eyes and black mascara
Broken heart, a flask of gin
Tattooed with a safety pin
Teeth all stained with nicotine
Running nylons, shattered dreams
Super crusty, holy terror
Wild eyes and black mascara
If I could have just one dream (ahh)
(If he could have just one dream)
I'd be that fucked-up girl!
Hey!
@@WallyWestObsession COMMON RIDE THE CYCLONE W‼️🎢
@@WallyWestObsession lol you have good taste in music
@@kierstinniles4927 thanks lol
i have this copy and pasted (don’t ask why):
Two trains, Train A and Train B, simultaneously depart Station A and Station B. Station A and Station B are 252.5 miles apart from each other. Train A is moving at 124.7mph towards Station B, and Train B is moving at 253.5mph towards station A. If both trains departed at 10:00AM and it is now 10:08, how much longer until both trains pass each other? (if you get the reference you get the reference)
found out the last thing in my clipboard was “HUGH
lemon demon, cat please references”
homestuck
The one with the kid on a scooter had my dying lol
yea!
🕺
🛴
Had your dying what
0:50 When characters just break into song and dance
3:33 I want someone to put a beat to this. Sounds like a good idea.
The kid on the scooter combined with Matt’s “yeahh!” Will never not be funny to me
5:38 why do they look like pictures of cardboard cutouts lmao
3:10 Yo mister white what the fuck
The chad Jack:
I thought it was Vsauce
Matt reading keyboard smashing correctly is just ✨amazing✨
4:55
i'm a writer and even i write smut sometimes but there is nothing that could suffice to explain what the fuck is going on
I thought she died from fear of the scissors and had heart attack. 6:00
So I suppose she wasnt a lesbian
6:05 Surely a better answer was that Mrs. Faster was on life support and someone cut the cord with scissors
I now realise I am not the first to make this comment
5:23 lets all say a thanks to my local walmart for giving Matt some content, ill be looking for these people the next time I go grocery shopping
In college, I spilled tea on my laptop and the "n" key never worked again. Every morning I would Google something, and find an "n" to copy and paste for the day. I got so fluent in pasting every "n" while I typed that I would do it on every computer I used out of habit. Such an odd skill, resulting in many, many messed up MSN chats.
my best experience was in computer class in 10th grade, me and the boys were doing anything other than work on the pc as usual (i showed them how to replace their mouse cursor png so we made them images like Juan and wet owl) and my friend had the wet owl image in his clipboard. When 2 teachers went over to check on his work in excel, he accidentally pasted the gigantic wet owl image into the excel right infront of the 2 serious teachers behind him, and frantically tried deleting it. Me and 2 others on the table were hysterical. I was looking over at his screen when it happened. He was laughing himself. The teachers were not amused. I was still wheezing for minutes after. I had so many good memories from there.
4:20, HEY SHOUT OUT TO WHOLESOME GIRLFRIEND ASMR!
I accidentally sent a screen recording of something on my phone to my friend without realizing it was playing one of those audios in the background💀
Thank fuck he didn’t watch it with audio
4:24 Let's all pray for this poor soul, there is no way he made it out of there alive
That was actually a pretty good James Acaster impression
I don't know why and I don't know how but you're the only TH-camr nowadays that makes me laugh out loud unironically
1:41
I'm now curious to find out if he actually did
Not that i could find, but Fanta was created inside nazi Germany
1:25 .. i googled it and it said it was a water bed which had been sliced so theyd drown in it
How does that even make sense?
I like your pfp
@@chloskyskies4399it's a riddle, they never do
3:52 so no one’s going to say how good matts impression of James is
Thats what I thought
My guess for the riddle was that someone used the scissors to cut a piece of fabric and smother her with it, and honestly that sounds more plausible than drowning in a water bed.
mine was that she choked on the scissors-
I thought the answer to the riddle was that she had an anvil over her bed and cut the rope holding it up like a Looney tunes cartoon, and it crushed Her.
no blood
@@bry4n938there was never blood in the cartoons either 🤪
1:17 she swallowed the scissors.
NO CUTS OR BRUISES. It couldn’t have been used directly on her
@@lukiwei9468stomach impale?
@@capybara2515u stupid?
Mrs. Faster is lying on a water bed. The murderer cut open the bed using the scissors and drowned her in it.
how could she have shit it out in time??
ok but that james acaster impression was SPOT ON
1:09 I almost choked on a cracker
Yeaaaa
@@DaKingKayden🛴
Yehhhhh
yeghhhh🛴
yeahhh 🛴
1:31 cut life support i saw it in a vocaloid song once
Now I need to know what the song was
@@Eaten_squid_cake it’s called scissorloid
YESS I GUESS IT RIGHT
@@JayFromWalmark NICE
@@fia_ruka thank you :D
2:44
Kinda veering into Random Týpek's territory here, Matt
0:33 Imagine asking for a menu and you got this.
Disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions, and identity.😂
The only thing I had copy-pasted at the time of upload was a USPS tracking number, but when I was younger (and stupider) I would CONSTANTLY copy-paste the lyrics to 'Happiness is Not a Warm Scalpel' from Repo! The Genetic Opera (complete with character parts), and I would always have to brace myself when I went to copy-paste something just in case I had it up 💀💀💀
And look, I copypasted some skull emojis and nothing happened! I think I'm safe IVE NEVER BEEN SO SURGICALLY MAIMED!
Well, I'll be Repo'd, someone else remembers that movie! I had Zydrate Anatomy on repeat as a goth teen.
Why did you constantly have the same thing on your clipboard, especially if it's the entirety of a song's lyrics?
I used to do that all the time but it reminds me of the phrase
[Amber:]
I've never been so surgically maimed!
[Rotti:]
Amber, please, it's not that bad.
[Amber:]
I'll be the laughingstock of the stage!
[Rotti:]
Daughter, please, it's not so bad.
[Amber:]
This is your fault!
I asked you to help me!
[Rotti:]
Now, amber, please.
I warned you about this.
Happiness is not a warm scalpel.
[Amber:]
I don't care! it's not fair!
[Rotti:]
Baby, baby, baby, don't do this.
[Amber:]
I will never sing again!
[Rotti:]
I gave you the life I wished I'd had.
[Amber:]
I look like a crime scene, dad.
[Rotti:]
All you ever do is take, take, take. all I ever do is give.
I said nothing when you came to me
Asking, "can I be asian?"
[Amber:]
That surgery was only $90 grand!
[Rotti:]
I did not complain
When you changed your name
From largo to sweet.
[Amber:]
I need a stage name!
[Rotti:]
You are a disgrace!
Your genes are not worthy of mine!
I’m quite partial to ‘Let The Monster Rise’ myself.