Fun fact: because of the popularity of american movies in australia, many australians have called 911 instead of 000. So they had to make 911 redirect to 000.
It's the same in the UK: 911 redirects to 999. On a side note, I work in a quintessentially British establishment, and a little, very much English girl came in and said "can I get cotton candy?" when looking at a box that clearly said 'candy floss'. Americanisms are inescapable!
@@monkeygaming2841aside from just being inadvisable for select areas, pretty sure the it is set up to transfer 911 calls locally by GPS data. If you are using a phone from a foreign country that can use the existing networks it will probably work as any local phone. I don't know what would happen if you dialed 999 in the US. Given the amount of foreign tourists I'm sure they've thought of that. I just don't have the desire to find out. Emergency Dispatch clearly deals with enough issues.
Woman calling 911 after having a premonition of a murder only to be dismissed out of hand is definitely part of the plot of a movie about a woman with psychic powers who has to prevent a murder from happening
@sheatemyheartt I don't know the context tbf, it could be a mafia threat at the extreme end or just a cat at the lower end, but it would most certainly be jarring
I got one that doubles as heart warming. I was a police dispatcher, because I live in a town so small 911 dispatch is also done by us. Every single week the same elderly woman would call with one outlandish crisis after another. Hoodlums drove a car through her house and stole her measuring spoons. Aliens broke in and took her tv guide. Things like that. She was obviously mentally unwell. But she was alone and harmless. She also made homemade chocolate cookies for the cops every time they came by. As a result there were fights every week over who got to take the call so they got cookies and then spent 40 mins just chatting with her while eating cookies and milk or coffee. It got so bad the LT had to in state a clear rotation for them so no one was fighting over who got to go next.
As someone who works as a call taker for the scottish ambulance service you'd be surprised how much people stick things up their arse and get it stuck.
8:27 an elderly neighbor once called my mom saying “i swear im not crazy, and if i call my daughter she’ll send me to a home, but it looks like there’s a turkey on your garage.” there was a fucking turkey on our garage. turkeys didn’t even live their, i have no idea how it got there
Must've been a wild turkey that got lost or somethin'. Kinda sad to hear the neighbour was afraid of getting sent to a home, afraid of sounding crazy...
10:40 well... this has been the first time I have heard of the abbreviation "D&D" being used for a criminal charge, so... while reading ahead of Matt reading aloud I was a bit confused why the determined caller's lover was arrested for playing Dungeons and Dragons
My dad used to be a police officer. One time he got a call where all the person would say was “They’re killing them!” so naturally he hurried to the beach where the person called from expecting a murder or something awful of the sorts. Instead, it was a pod of orcas eating a sea lion. Someone called the police on a pod of orcas-
@@caram5222yeah, that's always what I'm thinking. What do people expect the police to do? Also, in this case (and several others tbh), that's just nature doing it's thing lol. I read the post of the manicure girl in the video and that made more sense than the orca one lol. The salon refused to let her talk to a manager or get a refund, so she felt like she was scammed. But like the officer said to her, it's a civil matter, not a criminal one. A lot of times, people call emergency when they wanna like, sue somebody or smth. That's not what it's for either 😅😅
There are a couple of forgivable ones in here, if only because the person calling had a legitimate reason to assume there was an emergency. Doesn't make them less funny.
I'm a 999 call handler for the ambulance service, and the most stupid one I've ever recieved was from someone who was complaining/moaning that there was an ambulance parked preventing him from getting into his garage. His neighbour had managed to simultaneously have both a stroke *and* an MI (heart attack), and all this self-absorbed walnut could think of was himself.
The hospital socks are the absolute best though! When I had my tubes tied and woke up a bit groggy, I asked a nurse if I could buy a pair and she told me no, and I tried to give her thd pair I was still wearing. I thought they were borrows. I nearly cried when she told me I could keep them and she called me a very "pleasant and polite" patient 😊
They are great socks. I had a few pairs from colonoscopies, cataract surgery, and having my gallbladder removed. My father had a similar collection, and when he passed away, my mother gave them to me. Thanks, Dad. 😢
Love those socks! I had a family friend who washed and gave me hers when she was in for surgery. They're the comfiest socks I own, I wear them all around the house
I called once because our bag of chips was full of ants. Hundreds of them. I was home alone and a hormonal teenager with anxiety who was terrified of bugs. They sent the officers right away, so it must’ve been a slow day
in case anyone’s curious about the XXXX hairbrush story, here it is copy and pasted from the archived copy of that reddit thread on the wayback machine: "What's your emergency?" "I just swallowed a hairbrush" there is no obvious respiratory distress since they are speaking fine and calmly so I move on to try to assess the situation "How did that happen?" "I was pissed off" "Ok ma'am what's the address you are at..." She was fine she just had, in fact, swallowed a hairbrush... It's actually pretty sad because this particular person was one of our frequent fliers for psych. I worked a second-level of dispatching that just dealt with medical emergencies and psych so I was insulated from a lot of the run-of-the-mill everyday dumb calls by the normal dispatchers and most of the "dumb" stuff that made it to me was actually genuine psych problems or people out of their minds on drugs. Of course, you still laugh at that kind of stuff because it's a change of pace from the ordinary and you tend to develop a really dark sense of humor in that line of work but you do always have to try to remember on some level that the person screaming that they need you to send the FBI to get the aliens off their roof does have a medical problem that they need help with. I'm not sure [how big it was] because I was stuck in dispatch but the crew who took her to the ER (who stuck around in case they needed to take her to a psych treatment place after) saw the x-rays and described it to me in medical terms as "an actual fucking hairbrush".
A few days ago I had a dream where they came out with a brand of gum called "Gump". They made a 90s style commercial with an extremely catchy theme song to promote it, and you couldn't get away from it. Within days the word "Gump" made it into everyday speech in infinite ways. You no longer hang out with your friends, you gump with your friends. When you think about something you "gump on it". Everything involving other people, thinking, or doing anything in general was now "gumping". I know this has nothing to do with this video but you were the first person I thought of when I woke up.
I had a dream last night where I (and two random people) were getting chased by the spider guy from Monsters Inc.....yeah, that's off topic, but.. thought you should know 👍
One of the best parts of having cancer was I ended up getting more of those wicked comfortable grippy socks than I could ever wear. 5 years in remission and still drowning in socks.
Lol- my family has a lot of random medical problems, I got epilepsy from my dad, the epilepsy causes RND or AMPS (as some call it) I have an asthma variant from my dad, PCOS (I think that's how its spelled? 😭) from my grandparents ig, (Idk if I have it or what my mom has been talking about getting me tested and stuff) and I have low blood pressure but high heart rate, so ive been to the hospital a, a lot.
The shamelessness in these kinds of people always amazes me. I could be bleeding out but still not call any emergency service in worry of bothering them.
A little over a year ago I sprained my ankle so bad that I could barely walk home. It probably took me like 30 minutes to walk back home, when it usually takes 5. I ended up going to the hospital... around 2 weeks after that happened.
Understandable but please do call emergency services if you're bleeding out (or any other emergency). 😂 Even if you don't want to bother them, you'd bother them more by like, dying, right? ~:~
Fr like a while ago I was having waves of crippling pain and just went 'if it happens again I'll call the NHS advise line, and if they say go to hospital then okay' but then you get people who call 999 for a cracked fingernail or some shit and I can't imagine the mindset behind that.
I was a good kid but when my sister who was left in charge denied me the cookie jar I said "I'll call 911 on you!" and she made the mistake of mockingly saying "no, you won't. lol" so you see I had no choice but to call 911 on her.
3:50 reminded me of an episode of The Amazing World of Gumball where the duo was working at the mall and a lady came up to them to ask them to help find her son and the lady said she last saw him in 1987 in New Jersey.
In Brazil, we have separate numbers for police, ambulance, firefighters etc. Wish we had a system like 911, so I wouldn't have to remember a lot of emergency numbers
Italy had a bunch of numbers too 113 for police 115 for firefighters and 1515 for forest fires 118 for medical emergencies 112 was for road assistance IIRC We have now moved to an unified system where you dial 112 and they mobilize the appropriate service. The move took a long time since every region had to do it (there are 20 regions)
In England, we have 999 for emergencies. (Police/Fire/Ambulance/Coastguard) 101 for non-emergency police, I think. 111 for non-emergency medical advice/help. I am sure there are more...
True. Since we see police cars fairly often on the streets I was able to memorize 190 as it's written on their cars, but I can never remember the other ones I've just checked SAMU, which is equivalent to EMT, and that's 192. BTW, I've just found out that if you call 911 in Brazil it's apparently also redirected to the military police (the main police force in Brazil), but this number only works from mobile calls which is virtually everyone nowadays. All the main numbers: 190 - Military Police 191 - Federal highway police 192 - Medical service 193 - Fire brigade 194 - Federal police 197 - Civilian police 198 - State highway police There are some other emergency services for unusual stuff like human rights abuse and such. There is one specific for women who feel threatened by men... Yeah there are too many to remember
As a firefighter, the dumbest thing I ever got called out for was a "gas leak" at a grocery store where a customer dialed 911 complaining it smelled bad inside the store. Noot even "it smells like a gas leak", just "it smells bad".
My mother once called 999 for suspected sepsis (30/40% mortality rate, if you're curious) because she had a 'ragged dark rash' on the side of her face that didn't go away when she rolled a glass over it. For about 5 minutes I hovered over her shoulder, panicking that she would die. They were about to dispatch an ambulance before she realised it was chocolate.
30/40% mortality rate is for septic shock (basically very severe sepsis that causes dangerously low blood pressure). Mortality rate can be much less than that if it is treated early and doesn’t get to that point
@@FirstnameLastname-jd4uqmy younger brother went into septic shock a couple of weeks after a major surgery when he was 12. Mom drove him to the hospital where he’d had the surgery and they were able to save him but it was terrifying. I guess it makes sense that earlier stages of sepsis look different, but in my head, that word is synonymous with turning grey, running a high fever, vomiting, and feeling faint. None of that can be caused by chocolate, unless you are severely allergic to it.
That person who was scared of the frog definitely had an EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION!! Edit: Amazing content!! This is why I’m subscribed to Matt Rose lol!
9:48 reminded me of a story from someone who worked in Parliament House. They found and pressed a mystery button under an MP's desk. They thought nothing happened, until armed security guards burst in
@@hughcaldwell1034 for real though. once i was home alone when our power went out. we were one of the lucky folks with an electric generator, but for some godforsaken reason it decided to not work SPECIFICALLY when my dad was on a trip and couldn't come home to fix it. it was daytime & the summer so my main concern was the fridge & freezers and also WiFi because internet-addicted teenager. at one point i started to hear this mysterious beeping sound in the house... i'm partially deaf so it was hard as hell to track down the source, wandering aimlessly room-to-room. eventually i realized it was coming from the basement. some device plugged into the wall next to the fuse box, mysteriously receiving power in a pitch-black, powerless basement, beeping and flashing red numbers on its display. it felt like a horror movie. once dad could look at the pictures i sent him, he was able to let me know it was a gas detector running on backup power that probably got errored when the electricity went out. once i got the generator working (also a terrifying experience) it shut up.
Legitimately buttdialed 911, I was talking to my brother about Skyrim's Dark Brotherhood. All they heard was 2 men talking about assassinating the Emperor. When I heard chatter on the phone all I could say was "Oh SHIT" and put the phone down. I had police come visit to find one what the heck was happening. The call was about 15 minutes long. For context, I'm autistic, so I kinda panicked lol
@@andrew_might_community_post Depending where he is, he’d be breaking the law by killing an endangered species. Apparently the state of Washington had to pass some laws because of the amount of heavily armed wingnuts coming into the state to look for/hunt Bigfoot (aka: hunting for something human shaped)
Redhaus post said "What's your emergency?" "I just swallowed a hairbrush" there is no obvious respiratory distress since they are speaking fine and calmly so I move on to try to assess the situation "How did that happen?" "I was рissed off" "Ok ma'am what's the address you are at..."
I have had to call before for medical reasons (a surprise seizure on a hard floor was NOT fun!) and it’s absolute hell, I felt so much like I was wasting their time. Can’t imagine having the confidence(? ignorance??) of calling for silly reasons like these
I don't think I've ever had to call emergency services (I'm only 21, give it time) but I have had to speak to the police non-emergency number about my credit card being used by someone that wasn't me. I'm a student, I can't afford to be robbed so I was absolutely in tears and the officer was so lovely and kind.
I once called the police because I got lost. Fine, right? The location I was meant to go was, according to my map, a minute away from where I was, and I still couldn't figure out the directions. Moral of the story? Don't let me do directions.
craziest 911 call I've heard was one quite a few years ago where the man said "time is going by really, really slowly" because he and his wife ate weed brownies and then he asked the operator what the score for the Red Wings game was. I truly love Michigan
This brought to mind my days as a tour director. The best complaint I heard was from one woman on a Madagascar tour. I would take the group out for a walk one evening and show them all the constellations in the southern sky, which I personally thought was really cool. She complained that "the night sky was not as interesting as I told her it would be."
Well she's crazy because I've been to Madagascar and it was the best place ever to see the night ski. They have the lowest level of light pollution on the planet. Seeing the night sky there was amazing beyond words.
Suddenly reminded of the poignancy of the George Carlin quote "think of how dumb the average person is, now realize half of all people are stupider than that"
We had a deactivated flip phone as kids and my mom used it to teach us how to call 911. Except she didn’t realize that 911 still works on a deactivated phone. This lead to my brother walking up to mom with a (as far as she knows) non-functional phone saying “mom they want to talk to you.” My mom thought he was playing pretend and picked it up only to realize it was actually 911.
My husband works for a rural county fire department. The number of times people will call about a house being on fire when all they saw was smoke as they drove by, not bothering to stop and make sure the owners aren't grilling or burning trash, is amazing.
I'm very glad to know that. Honestly, as an American, I only know of 999 from British TV (the IT Crowd mainly), so I imagine it's fairly uncommonly known. 911 is not only the US - so tons and tons of tourists might not know 999 when they have an emergency while visiting the UK.
When my neighbor was 5 they called 911 because she lost her Barbie in the backyard. When her mom took the phone away from her and apologized, she screamed "BARBIES GOING TO DIE AND ITS ALL YOUR FAULT."
My dad is a county sheriff and I wish I could tell you about all of the insane calls he's responded to, but I'll just tell you my favorite one. New employee at a mine driving a double wide dump truck up a hill puts the transmission in the wrong gear. Engine stalls, truck rolls back down the hill. Twists and breaks drive shaft, truck rolls backwards into a house. Truck had so much inertia that it knocked the entire house off the foundation. Nobody was home, nobody was injured, but they stood around for hours trying to figure out what the heck they should do.
My Dad works as a paramedic and I was chatting with him when he got a call for "80 year old male lost his keys and wallet". He also once had a person who threatened to jump out the window... on the ground floor.
My aunt has a book about stupid reasons people called 911 called "what's the number for 911" so when I saw this video I thought of that immediately and it made me happy.
I was the manager of a car wash in high school. A woman called 9/11 around midnight and complained to them about our car wash being closed (open 8am-7pm). The arresting officer (yes she was arrested) was a frequent customer of our car wash and he gave me the story that dispatch told him. She was arrested for 'DWLR Not Impaired'.
I've called 911 and been put ON HOLD. It happened to my parents once as well. The fact that we've been put on hold for actual emergencies (and I'm sure others have as well) because of these people is infuriating.
When I was little I called 911 on the chuck e cheese mascot because "he was too creepy for little kids". I saw police officers in the parking lot on the way out. But they weren't here for Chuck e cheese lol.
4:40 gives intense doctor who vibes, just the lady and the little girl over the phone about something innocent like a snowman missing, just gives that weird, almost creepy but not quite, vibe
I grew up in government housing, and we got regular drama shows. One mirrored the meth incident you mentioned, but with a further twist. Guy calls the police to report that a neighbour had stolen a massive bag of marijuana (this was well before legalization). The police showed up, asked the alleged thief if he stole Guy 1's weed. Guy 2 stated that he had, but only because Guy 1 owed him a bunch of money, and he was seeking compensation. The police told Guy 2 to go get the weed and give it back. He did so, and they arrested both of them - one for petty theft, the other for possession. Could have been worse; the amount was enough that both of them could have been nailed with trafficking.
I don't know if this is a thing but... strangest thoughts people have had as they're falling asleep? Last night around 12:30 pm the phrase "I love you... 11 inch pie" repeated in my head until I fell asleep and I thought it was the funniest thing ever
I used to work in the emergency department of a local hospital and this just brought back a tooonnnn of memories. Objectively typing triage notes about butt removal stuff is such a learned skill. Seeing “Rectal trauma” was so cryptic lol. A massive zucchini, unbroken lightbulb, pink still vibrating marital aid (that one had to be surgically removed), and a small electric toy hamster were all during my watch. And all grown men. 🎉
How many of them claimed they fell on them? Honestly, I'd be more surprised if anyone admitted they were exploring their inner world when asked why they have a large object in their rectum.
Matt, I can’t help but notice that you’re approaching 1 million subscribers. You know you can get emojis on play buttons now? isn’t there a certain human head bone emoji you’re especially fond of?
I went to elementary school with a girl who would call 911 to get attention / revenge on her parents if throwing a tantrum didn't work. She called 911 because they didn't let her pick the movie for family movie night once. She was really proud of this too
Reminds me of a line from The X-Files episode "Humbug": "We're exhuming your... uh, potato?" Context: They thought someone had been burying a body, but he was just burying a potato by moonlight to... cure warts, alright- that sounds weirder even IN context...
1:30 As someone with a severe peanut allergy I must say that packing peanuts are a major threat, and could possibly trigger an EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION!!!
0:52 Fun Fact: I once had an officer come to my house because someone had supposedly "reported" that someone was pouring paint down the gutter and the officer had "tracked it down" to my house. I informed him that my neighbors have a bazillion pine trees and that it had rained recently, making the pollen look like thick yellow liquid.
I’m glad you read out "drunk and disorderly" tbh because it would’ve absolutely taken me a full minute to realize the D&D in this context is not, in fact, Dungeons and Dragons. I may be stupid… end of sentence :’)
When I was in 1st grade, I mistook ordinary vans for kidnappers a lot, so I almost called the police because I saw a van parked across the street from my school, but my parents took the phone out of my hand before I could call 911. It was an Amazon delivery van and it was parked outside of a house to deliver things to them.
Fun fact: in Sweden it's obligatory for children to attend school, and as such you can actually call the cops to have them transport the child to school. They don't appreciate it, and it probably doesn't happen very often at all, but technically possible.
There was this fake phone at a Chuck e Cheese location I visited when I was young. One of the numbers was for the "Chuck E. Cheese emergency hotline" or something like that so I called that, and thinking I actually called the police, I hung up. I'm so stupid.
someone once called 911 on me and my cousin for sitting in my uncle's car while eating cheesecake. before calling 911, they asked us what we were eating and got angry when we said cheesecake because they were allergic
Wow, that person sounds extremely self-centered. They think that just because they can’t have cheesecake, no one else should be allowed to? Mega yikes. My sister has a dairy intolerance, and I distinctly recall a time when someone brought our family cheesecake, which she obviously couldn’t have, but instead of making a fuss about the rest of us eating it, she just went and got herself a doughnut instead. She was, at this point, under the age of ten.
I remember when I was 6 years old, I called 911 on our landline phone because my sister and cousin said I couldn’t play with them. After my parents found out and chewed my ass for it, I somehow got it in my head I had to CALL BACK to apologize. I vaguely remember it being the same responder and that they cussed at me over the line before my parents found me calling them again
…you know, I don’t know if I’d want someone who cusses out a six-year-old for apologizing to be my lifeline in a emergency. Doesn’t exactly scream ‘can keep a level head’.
"Police, fire or ambulance?"
"All three, I've set a burglar on fire."
🗿
😂😂😂 don’t know why
@@YoungMrBlue I think you mean 💀
@@gdeproductions1225🗿
*I have not been able to stop WHEEZE laughing for a solid ten minutes, call ME an ambulance!*
Fun fact: because of the popularity of american movies in australia, many australians have called 911 instead of 000. So they had to make 911 redirect to 000.
wow!
a similar thing happens in Europe, except it's 999/112 instead of 000
It's the same in the UK: 911 redirects to 999.
On a side note, I work in a quintessentially British establishment, and a little, very much English girl came in and said "can I get cotton candy?" when looking at a box that clearly said 'candy floss'. Americanisms are inescapable!
What if you went to america on holiday
@@monkeygaming2841aside from just being inadvisable for select areas, pretty sure the it is set up to transfer 911 calls locally by GPS data. If you are using a phone from a foreign country that can use the existing networks it will probably work as any local phone. I don't know what would happen if you dialed 999 in the US. Given the amount of foreign tourists I'm sure they've thought of that. I just don't have the desire to find out. Emergency Dispatch clearly deals with enough issues.
Woman calling 911 after having a premonition of a murder only to be dismissed out of hand is definitely part of the plot of a movie about a woman with psychic powers who has to prevent a murder from happening
It reminds me of the plot of the Final Destination films. 😂
Minority Report
Literally the premise of Death in Paradise, Season 1 Episode 3
She has to prevent *her* murder from happening, but she doesn't know it's hers.
That's literally the plot to the show Medium
To be fair, worrying about a kid peeing in the air vents is a valid concern especially if they have done it before.
How many times til you just get used to it I wonder?
@@Matt_Rose roughly, 3 to 5
@@Matt_Rose I pee in my own vents, it's nice.
@@lumieas Experience or?
@@Matt_Rose had it happen to me 9 times-
To be fair finding a dead squirrel in your bed randomly must be pretty terrifying
That's revolting! How did it get there? Did a family dog or cat put it there as a "gift"?
@Paulafan5 this woman was terrified, so even if it wasn't a literal corpse there could be reason for her to be distressed right?
Sounds a bit like what happens in The Godfather.
@sheatemyheartt I don't know the context tbf, it could be a mafia threat at the extreme end or just a cat at the lower end, but it would most certainly be jarring
My guess is the squirrel entered the house and then randomly died.
Or she had a cat
I got one that doubles as heart warming. I was a police dispatcher, because I live in a town so small 911 dispatch is also done by us. Every single week the same elderly woman would call with one outlandish crisis after another. Hoodlums drove a car through her house and stole her measuring spoons. Aliens broke in and took her tv guide. Things like that. She was obviously mentally unwell. But she was alone and harmless. She also made homemade chocolate cookies for the cops every time they came by. As a result there were fights every week over who got to take the call so they got cookies and then spent 40 mins just chatting with her while eating cookies and milk or coffee. It got so bad the LT had to in state a clear rotation for them so no one was fighting over who got to go next.
Awe
As someone who works as a call taker for the scottish ambulance service you'd be surprised how much people stick things up their arse and get it stuck.
Broomstick handle
I've heard a story about a soap bottle
@@Revalopod MARGARET THATCHER
Always remind people to make sure that the next thing they slip and fall onto has a flared base.
i heard a guy who used a toilet brush
i seen “arrested for D&D” and thought “what the hell did she do, roll a nat 1?”
What happened
My brain instantly went the same way as yours.
@@dontaskme3648 drunk and disorderly
Some people comit violet acts because of dnd (crimes)
"So, you have commited multiple crimes, lets do a laywer roll check"
8:27 an elderly neighbor once called my mom saying “i swear im not crazy, and if i call my daughter she’ll send me to a home, but it looks like there’s a turkey on your garage.” there was a fucking turkey on our garage. turkeys didn’t even live their, i have no idea how it got there
Must've been a wild turkey that got lost or somethin'.
Kinda sad to hear the neighbour was afraid of getting sent to a home, afraid of sounding crazy...
@@0_dearghealach_083
I'm pretty sure the "they'll send me to a home" comment was a joke.
ON your garage, or IN your garage? Either way; that poor guy.
@@irenemiller9958 on, like on top of
"I've just about had it, Dad! You're one non-native fowl hallucination away from the nursing home!" 😂
10:40 well... this has been the first time I have heard of the abbreviation "D&D" being used for a criminal charge, so... while reading ahead of Matt reading aloud I was a bit confused why the determined caller's lover was arrested for playing Dungeons and Dragons
I had the same thought lol. Maybe it was during the satanic panic 😂
same
It seemed like such a plausible scenario too!
Same
Chaotic evil moment
My dad used to be a police officer. One time he got a call where all the person would say was “They’re killing them!” so naturally he hurried to the beach where the person called from expecting a murder or something awful of the sorts. Instead, it was a pod of orcas eating a sea lion. Someone called the police on a pod of orcas-
That must be why a lot of operators advise the caller to stay on the line for as long as they can while the drive is being made.
“Can you describe the perpetrator?”
“He’s black, white and red all over!”
I want to know what they think the police was going to do? Like a stern warnning or did ghey want them to jump in?
@@caram5222yeah, that's always what I'm thinking. What do people expect the police to do? Also, in this case (and several others tbh), that's just nature doing it's thing lol.
I read the post of the manicure girl in the video and that made more sense than the orca one lol. The salon refused to let her talk to a manager or get a refund, so she felt like she was scammed. But like the officer said to her, it's a civil matter, not a criminal one. A lot of times, people call emergency when they wanna like, sue somebody or smth. That's not what it's for either 😅😅
Yes but the place I live we should call 112 if any sea lions are harmed.
The mother worried her kid would get an allergic reaction to packing peanuts is really sweet. stupid, but sweet
Okay, it might sound silly because the guy was dying his pubes, but an allergic reaction to the genitals actually IS an emergency.
Hmm...good point.
However, the "packing peanuts" one is bluddy stupid!
There are a couple of forgivable ones in here, if only because the person calling had a legitimate reason to assume there was an emergency. Doesn't make them less funny.
@@Crawfishnessthe deer one was dumb but sweet
@@electricay Yeah, it kinda makes me think of a story I once heard about a drunk guy ordering an Uber for a baby bird that had fallen out of its nest
Completely valid reason to call 911, but still a monumentally stupid thing to do.
When I saw someone had included a link to an article, I half expected Matt to read the link instead of the actual article.
Ha! 😅 Next time!
@@Matt_Roseplease do it’d be funny
@@Matt_RoseI double dog dare you to read the actual link next time
@@Matt_Rose "frqtubskalfjsoo/jealous+idk+love/jeuaornsuaj"
Turn Down For What playing right after the lady said to turn down the music sounds like the funniest coincidence in the history of the universe
lol i dont think it was a coincidence 😂
I'm a 999 call handler for the ambulance service, and the most stupid one I've ever recieved was from someone who was complaining/moaning that there was an ambulance parked preventing him from getting into his garage.
His neighbour had managed to simultaneously have both a stroke *and* an MI (heart attack), and all this self-absorbed walnut could think of was himself.
Sounds about right for this country, unfortunately.
Was he an entitled twonk, by any chance? Rich family?
"Self absorbed walnut" LOL
@@annie_the_little_fishBest insult ever
@@annie_the_little_fish im using that
And his garage, evidently.
0:52 I can’t believe our law enforcement doesn’t account for cold deer, quite shameful to be honest
would be fish & game if anything
HeII are we even paying taxes for?
Reminds me of the woman who called into a radio show to complain that deer crossings were in dangerous spots and should be moved.
I thought there is at least a separate number to call animal emergency care to take them to the vet or zoo hospitals. 🤷♀️
Oh deer
My sister called the cops when she was about 4 because she "Couldn't find Dad". He was on the back porch grilling hamburgers for dinner.
at least she knew how to do it!
My father once called 911 because his dealer upped the price...
😂 hey! My angel dust was 5.00 before!!! Why is it 7!? 😂
Here in Australia it’s 000
@@Silver_wind_1987_ damn inflation
@@BO-OH-O-WA-ER.145that cheap?
I'm kidding. I'm an Aussie,
So how'd it go after that?
The hospital socks are the absolute best though! When I had my tubes tied and woke up a bit groggy, I asked a nurse if I could buy a pair and she told me no, and I tried to give her thd pair I was still wearing. I thought they were borrows. I nearly cried when she told me I could keep them and she called me a very "pleasant and polite" patient 😊
They are great socks. I had a few pairs from colonoscopies, cataract surgery, and having my gallbladder removed. My father had a similar collection, and when he passed away, my mother gave them to me. Thanks, Dad. 😢
Love those socks! I had a family friend who washed and gave me hers when she was in for surgery. They're the comfiest socks I own, I wear them all around the house
I wish I could enjoy them but I have trauma from my last hospital visit soooooo
I butt dialled 999 and they heard me talking about cheese on the side of the road
This works for two video sequels!
@@Vanta526 oh dam
Yes, but were you on the side of the road talking about cheese? Or were you talking about cheese that was on the side of the road?
@@bachynskylisa1 what
@@exuakema What was on the side of the road - you or the cheese?
I called once because our bag of chips was full of ants. Hundreds of them. I was home alone and a hormonal teenager with anxiety who was terrified of bugs. They sent the officers right away, so it must’ve been a slow day
If anyone’s wondering what the officers did to help, they literally just took the bag of chips outside LMAO 💀
@@枒 Legend
@枒 panic attacks ain't very fun and also are sort of an emergency as you can pass out 😮
Your chips had ANTS!🐜🐜🐜
What I want to know is why you thought that was a job for the police
in case anyone’s curious about the XXXX hairbrush story, here it is copy and pasted from the archived copy of that reddit thread on the wayback machine:
"What's your emergency?"
"I just swallowed a hairbrush"
there is no obvious respiratory distress since they are speaking fine and calmly so I move on to try to assess the situation
"How did that happen?"
"I was pissed off"
"Ok ma'am what's the address you are at..."
She was fine she just had, in fact, swallowed a hairbrush...
It's actually pretty sad because this particular person was one of our frequent fliers for psych.
I worked a second-level of dispatching that just dealt with medical emergencies and psych so I was insulated from a lot of the run-of-the-mill everyday dumb calls by the normal dispatchers and most of the "dumb" stuff that made it to me was actually genuine psych problems or people out of their minds on drugs.
Of course, you still laugh at that kind of stuff because it's a change of pace from the ordinary and you tend to develop a really dark sense of humor in that line of work but you do always have to try to remember on some level that the person screaming that they need you to send the FBI to get the aliens off their roof does have a medical problem that they need help with.
I'm not sure [how big it was] because I was stuck in dispatch but the crew who took her to the ER (who stuck around in case they needed to take her to a psych treatment place after) saw the x-rays and described it to me in medical terms as "an actual fucking hairbrush".
jesus christ. I hope it was a little kid's one or something, but even so how do you even do that
The lady who called 911 for the "hot cop" was charged with misuse of the 911 system. I think she was later sentenced in court.
That's what she gets for misusing the call
I remember reading about that. for irony, the "cutiepie deputy" she called for was the one who arrested her
@@KinCryos She got what she wanted.
@@KinCryosAnd an arresting officer legally has to give their badge number if asked, so at least she could say she got his number.
Horny jail
A few days ago I had a dream where they came out with a brand of gum called "Gump". They made a 90s style commercial with an extremely catchy theme song to promote it, and you couldn't get away from it. Within days the word "Gump" made it into everyday speech in infinite ways. You no longer hang out with your friends, you gump with your friends. When you think about something you "gump on it". Everything involving other people, thinking, or doing anything in general was now "gumping". I know this has nothing to do with this video but you were the first person I thought of when I woke up.
Forrest Gump syndrome
im gumping so hard rn
911/999 dispatch, what's the dumbest reason someone has gumped?
I had a dream last night where I (and two random people) were getting chased by the spider guy from Monsters Inc.....yeah, that's off topic, but.. thought you should know 👍
The smurf virus
One of the best parts of having cancer was I ended up getting more of those wicked comfortable grippy socks than I could ever wear. 5 years in remission and still drowning in socks.
Well-- are you okay now??
Please take care of yourself.
Lol- my family has a lot of random medical problems, I got epilepsy from my dad, the epilepsy causes RND or AMPS (as some call it) I have an asthma variant from my dad, PCOS (I think that's how its spelled? 😭) from my grandparents ig, (Idk if I have it or what my mom has been talking about getting me tested and stuff) and I have low blood pressure but high heart rate, so ive been to the hospital a, a lot.
I cant find you through the grippy socks. Help- all I see is yellow and blue
Sock baron
The shamelessness in these kinds of people always amazes me. I could be bleeding out but still not call any emergency service in worry of bothering them.
A little over a year ago I sprained my ankle so bad that I could barely walk home. It probably took me like 30 minutes to walk back home, when it usually takes 5. I ended up going to the hospital... around 2 weeks after that happened.
real
Understandable but please do call emergency services if you're bleeding out (or any other emergency). 😂 Even if you don't want to bother them, you'd bother them more by like, dying, right?
~:~
Fr like a while ago I was having waves of crippling pain and just went 'if it happens again I'll call the NHS advise line, and if they say go to hospital then okay' but then you get people who call 999 for a cracked fingernail or some shit and I can't imagine the mindset behind that.
I have avoided calling 999 due to the embarrassment of my injury.
Despite bleeding quite a bit.
If the sun seems brighter than normal that might be a medical thing
agreed
I think it’s astigmatism, not completely sure tho
@@Frilled.jellyfishcookiefan I have astigmatism, the sun is not brighter. Lights are just twinkly stars
@@britishbirdie9113wait lights arent supposed to be stars???
@@PinnePon nope! I thought this too before finding out what atsigmatism is lol I was like "This isn't normal?"
I was a good kid but when my sister who was left in charge denied me the cookie jar I said "I'll call 911 on you!" and she made the mistake of mockingly saying "no, you won't. lol" so you see I had no choice but to call 911 on her.
understandable
Your hands were tied. You warned her.
3:50 reminded me of an episode of The Amazing World of Gumball where the duo was working at the mall and a lady came up to them to ask them to help find her son and the lady said she last saw him in 1987 in New Jersey.
make me a cake and fill it with brisket
@@jjstarz7383 The taste of your hand always sweetens the biscuit.
@@b.m.933 mama’s proud boy his belly is swollen
@@jjstarz7383 Slathered in butter until it turns golden.
I REMEMBER THAT ONE OMG
In Brazil, we have separate numbers for police, ambulance, firefighters etc. Wish we had a system like 911, so I wouldn't have to remember a lot of emergency numbers
Italy had a bunch of numbers too
113 for police
115 for firefighters and 1515 for forest fires
118 for medical emergencies
112 was for road assistance IIRC
We have now moved to an unified system where you dial 112 and they mobilize the appropriate service. The move took a long time since every region had to do it (there are 20 regions)
This. Everytime I see a video like this I have to Google the numbers so I can remember them again.
In England, we have 999 for emergencies. (Police/Fire/Ambulance/Coastguard)
101 for non-emergency police, I think.
111 for non-emergency medical advice/help.
I am sure there are more...
in the usa we have both. generally the separate ones are for non emergencies with the idea you can just look them up.
True. Since we see police cars fairly often on the streets I was able to memorize 190 as it's written on their cars, but I can never remember the other ones
I've just checked SAMU, which is equivalent to EMT, and that's 192.
BTW, I've just found out that if you call 911 in Brazil it's apparently also redirected to the military police (the main police force in Brazil), but this number only works from mobile calls which is virtually everyone nowadays.
All the main numbers:
190 - Military Police
191 - Federal highway police
192 - Medical service
193 - Fire brigade
194 - Federal police
197 - Civilian police
198 - State highway police
There are some other emergency services for unusual stuff like human rights abuse and such. There is one specific for women who feel threatened by men...
Yeah there are too many to remember
As a firefighter, the dumbest thing I ever got called out for was a "gas leak" at a grocery store where a customer dialed 911 complaining it smelled bad inside the store. Noot even "it smells like a gas leak", just "it smells bad".
My mother once called 999 for suspected sepsis (30/40% mortality rate, if you're curious) because she had a 'ragged dark rash' on the side of her face that didn't go away when she rolled a glass over it. For about 5 minutes I hovered over her shoulder, panicking that she would die. They were about to dispatch an ambulance before she realised it was chocolate.
30/40% mortality rate is for septic shock (basically very severe sepsis that causes dangerously low blood pressure). Mortality rate can be much less than that if it is treated early and doesn’t get to that point
That’s why you always gotta lick and rub it. Saw a very melanoma looking mole on me once, turned out to be old barbecue sauce
@@zo6679 I probably found this way more funny than it is.
@@FirstnameLastname-jd4uqmy younger brother went into septic shock a couple of weeks after a major surgery when he was 12.
Mom drove him to the hospital where he’d had the surgery and they were able to save him but it was terrifying.
I guess it makes sense that earlier stages of sepsis look different, but in my head, that word is synonymous with turning grey, running a high fever, vomiting, and feeling faint.
None of that can be caused by chocolate, unless you are severely allergic to it.
@@elfiot and an allergy would cause anaphylactic shock, not septic shock
That person who was scared of the frog definitely had an EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION!!
Edit: Amazing content!! This is why I’m subscribed to Matt Rose lol!
That's right
Emergency Frog Situation!!!
‼️🚨🆘🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🆘🚨‼️
EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION 🐸
Also felt for the emergency cold deer situation
‼️🚨🆘🐸🆘🚨‼️
9:48 reminded me of a story from someone who worked in Parliament House. They found and pressed a mystery button under an MP's desk. They thought nothing happened, until armed security guards burst in
I called 911 when I was 5 or 6 years old because our DVD player was flashing the word "play".
it's haunts me to this day
To be fair, electronics flashing messages at me induced much anxiety when I's that age. Still do, to some extent.
the fact that you called 911 or the word "play" flashing?
@@boathesnake478 both
My microwave said "Child" one time and you don't see me calling 911 over it.
@@hughcaldwell1034 for real though. once i was home alone when our power went out. we were one of the lucky folks with an electric generator, but for some godforsaken reason it decided to not work SPECIFICALLY when my dad was on a trip and couldn't come home to fix it. it was daytime & the summer so my main concern was the fridge & freezers and also WiFi because internet-addicted teenager.
at one point i started to hear this mysterious beeping sound in the house... i'm partially deaf so it was hard as hell to track down the source, wandering aimlessly room-to-room. eventually i realized it was coming from the basement. some device plugged into the wall next to the fuse box, mysteriously receiving power in a pitch-black, powerless basement, beeping and flashing red numbers on its display. it felt like a horror movie.
once dad could look at the pictures i sent him, he was able to let me know it was a gas detector running on backup power that probably got errored when the electricity went out. once i got the generator working (also a terrifying experience) it shut up.
Legitimately buttdialed 911, I was talking to my brother about Skyrim's Dark Brotherhood. All they heard was 2 men talking about assassinating the Emperor. When I heard chatter on the phone all I could say was "Oh SHIT" and put the phone down. I had police come visit to find one what the heck was happening. The call was about 15 minutes long.
For context, I'm autistic, so I kinda panicked lol
That’s not autism that’s a pretty normal reaction to that situation
Out of the three times I have laugh cried in my life they where all while watching these videos, thank you Matt for making me happy
:D
2:41 You laugh when this man is the only thing standing between bigfoot and the whole town getting bigfooted
He’s gonna find him soon. He’ll kill Bigfoot and be a town hero after everyone doubted him. Just give him time and he’ll win.
Lmao you made it sound like Bigfoot makes everyone else’s feet big too.
@@andrew_might_community_post Depending where he is, he’d be breaking the law by killing an endangered species.
Apparently the state of Washington had to pass some laws because of the amount of heavily armed wingnuts coming into the state to look for/hunt Bigfoot (aka: hunting for something human shaped)
I laughed so I couldn't hit the like button for seconds😂🤣🤣
Redhaus post said
"What's your emergency?"
"I just swallowed a hairbrush"
there is no obvious respiratory distress since they are speaking fine and calmly so I move on to try to assess the situation
"How did that happen?"
"I was рissed off"
"Ok ma'am what's the address you are at..."
Thought it would be hairbrush as sex toy, this is a twist!
I mean that is actually an emergency. Having a large foreign object lodged in the esophagus can tear the inside of the digestive tract.
Did they ever explain why they redacted their comment?
@@IBathedKeanuReeves Sometimes, when people delete their accounts, they'll purge all former activity using a bot or some such for additional privacy
As someone who had to call emergency services for valid reasons, these operators have the patience of a saint.
I have had to call before for medical reasons (a surprise seizure on a hard floor was NOT fun!) and it’s absolute hell, I felt so much like I was wasting their time. Can’t imagine having the confidence(? ignorance??) of calling for silly reasons like these
I don't think I've ever had to call emergency services (I'm only 21, give it time) but I have had to speak to the police non-emergency number about my credit card being used by someone that wasn't me. I'm a student, I can't afford to be robbed so I was absolutely in tears and the officer was so lovely and kind.
I once called the police because I got lost. Fine, right? The location I was meant to go was, according to my map, a minute away from where I was, and I still couldn't figure out the directions.
Moral of the story? Don't let me do directions.
craziest 911 call I've heard was one quite a few years ago where the man said "time is going by really, really slowly" because he and his wife ate weed brownies and then he asked the operator what the score for the Red Wings game was. I truly love Michigan
At least he had a good excuse.
IIRC he was a cop, too!
Okay, if the pubes guy actually was having an allergic reaction to the dye, that COULD actually qualify as an emergency depending on how bad it was
This brought to mind my days as a tour director. The best complaint I heard was from one woman on a Madagascar tour. I would take the group out for a walk one evening and show them all the constellations in the southern sky, which I personally thought was really cool. She complained that "the night sky was not as interesting as I told her it would be."
😂 Damn the entitlement of people
Well she's crazy because I've been to Madagascar and it was the best place ever to see the night ski. They have the lowest level of light pollution on the planet. Seeing the night sky there was amazing beyond words.
3:55
now thats what i call a
EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION
* *EMERGENCY TINY FROG SITUATION!!!!!!*
OH THANK GODDNESS SOMEONE CALLED THE EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION I WAS GOING TO BE BUT I HAD TO WORK
I HEARD FROG. ITS AUTOMATICALLY AN EMERGENCY SITUATION
This is truly a
𓆏
EMERGENCY
FROG SITUATION
🐸
Suddenly reminded of the poignancy of the George Carlin quote "think of how dumb the average person is, now realize half of all people are stupider than that"
We had a deactivated flip phone as kids and my mom used it to teach us how to call 911. Except she didn’t realize that 911 still works on a deactivated phone. This lead to my brother walking up to mom with a (as far as she knows) non-functional phone saying “mom they want to talk to you.” My mom thought he was playing pretend and picked it up only to realize it was actually 911.
2:15 i cannot blame her that potato looks uncannily like a toe
True
a potatoe
@@Mechstreme😂
Maybe that’s why they’re called potatoes 🤔
@@CiaraahahTime to eat some freshly boiled toes.
My husband works for a rural county fire department. The number of times people will call about a house being on fire when all they saw was smoke as they drove by, not bothering to stop and make sure the owners aren't grilling or burning trash, is amazing.
"Mrs Parsons stole my glitter water" 😭😭😭
I almost had to call emergency services myself, cos that one had me dying with laughter 🤣🤣🤣
"999 whats your emergency"
"The grass is green"
"Ok were coming in 2 seconds"
This joke is not intended for simple minded Americans like myself is it lol
@@YoungMrBlue please for the love of god, shut up about americans
@@YoungMrBlue how dare u
@@Noahiscool69 guys I’m an American it was supposed to be a self-deprecation joke because I didn’t get it
I'm Canadian
7:43 the caller either put an entire hairbrush in their mouth and it got stuck or it went somewhere else
My guinea pigs love your videos/voice. Anytime I play them they start wheeking (happy sounds) ❤
He's probably a Guinea pig
🐹 Heck yeah
THATS WHAT THATS CALLED
Mine died
I once dialed 911 in the UK to see if it would actually redirect to the emergency line.
It did. I apologised to the operator and hung up.
911 has become such a universal number most operators just say "fuck it, you go here now"
I'm very glad to know that.
Honestly, as an American, I only know of 999 from British TV (the IT Crowd mainly), so I imagine it's fairly uncommonly known.
911 is not only the US - so tons and tons of tourists might not know 999 when they have an emergency while visiting the UK.
@@nthgth the solution was the actual universal emergency number 112
@@Jordanisokatnth never heard of it. Seems like 911 works in many countries though, so maybe "universal" is a bit of a stretch
10:35 Not going to lie, i was trying to figure out how someone can get arrested for dungeons and dragons until Matt said it out loud.
8:17 "Yeah my roommates are suffering from a sudden attack of carcinization"
Turns out their choice of inebriants was so potent that it triggered rapid evolution. They got moon stoned.
When my neighbor was 5 they called 911 because she lost her Barbie in the backyard. When her mom took the phone away from her and apologized, she screamed "BARBIES GOING TO DIE AND ITS ALL YOUR FAULT."
LMFAO THIS MADE MY DAY
10:35 before you said it i was like "how would you get arrested for dungeons and dragons?"
That is EXACTLY what i was thinking
My dad is a county sheriff and I wish I could tell you about all of the insane calls he's responded to, but I'll just tell you my favorite one.
New employee at a mine driving a double wide dump truck up a hill puts the transmission in the wrong gear. Engine stalls, truck rolls back down the hill. Twists and breaks drive shaft, truck rolls backwards into a house. Truck had so much inertia that it knocked the entire house off the foundation. Nobody was home, nobody was injured, but they stood around for hours trying to figure out what the heck they should do.
... Wow. Impressive.
Not me reading ahead and wondering why would she get arrested for Dungeons & Dragons...
My Dad works as a paramedic and I was chatting with him when he got a call for "80 year old male lost his keys and wallet". He also once had a person who threatened to jump out the window... on the ground floor.
7:43 this was probably someone purging their comments before leaving reddit. (not because of the api protest, that was less than 8 years ago)
Well that’s lame as hell
yeah there are bots on reddit you can use to go back and edit all your posts to a random string of words because its very easy to see deleted posts
Wouldn't that mean it's more likely to be the API protest? (Whatever that is)
@@osheridan no because it was also edited 8 years ago
@@cheesycheese8451 thanks for answering for me
9:41 "911 whats your emergency"
"its my birthday"
"we'll be arriving shortly"
and then the police, firefighters and ambulances rushed to the scene
7:09
Allergic reactions can kill you, so that might in fact be a good reason to call 911.
Dyeing your pubes is weird though.
Me seeing 'arrested for D&D' and thinking Dungeons and Dragons. Very disappointed to learn that it means drunk and disorderly
oh so the d&d game didnt get extremely violent?? smh
my favorate TPRPG - "Drunk and Disorderly"
to be fair - drunk & disorderly is quite an accurate description of my party a lot of the time
i did too
@@Ensign_games TablePot RolePlaying Game.
The lady who thought her heart broke needs a hug 🫂!!!!
...or told to grow up?
My aunt has a book about stupid reasons people called 911 called "what's the number for 911" so when I saw this video I thought of that immediately and it made me happy.
i tamar
I was the manager of a car wash in high school. A woman called 9/11 around midnight and complained to them about our car wash being closed (open 8am-7pm). The arresting officer (yes she was arrested) was a frequent customer of our car wash and he gave me the story that dispatch told him. She was arrested for 'DWLR Not Impaired'.
I've called 911 and been put ON HOLD. It happened to my parents once as well. The fact that we've been put on hold for actual emergencies (and I'm sure others have as well) because of these people is infuriating.
1:19
Johnny Bravo: "Hello 911 emergency? There's a handsome guy in my house. Oh, heh. Wait a minute cancel that, it's only me." 😎
When I was little I called 911 on the chuck e cheese mascot because "he was too creepy for little kids".
I saw police officers in the parking lot on the way out. But they weren't here for Chuck e cheese lol.
5:29 This has to be the singular most suspicious thing any human being has ever done.
Could've been them showing someone how to call emergency services and accidentally putting the call through.
*Serial Designation V reveals a yellow and red flag with text that reads "LITERALLY SO INSANELY SUSPICIOUS"*
4:14
Caller (to the neighbors): Hey guys, can you turn it down?!
Lil Jon: Turn Down for What? [music for a few seconds] Turn Down for What?
In other words - said neighbor didn't care.
4:40 gives intense doctor who vibes, just the lady and the little girl over the phone about something innocent like a snowman missing, just gives that weird, almost creepy but not quite, vibe
WILD WHOVIAN! I was also thinking that
2:53 You're going to have to call Gru for that.
or hermitcraft s8
Ha!
@@IGOTTRIXUPMYSLEEVE”Is the moon big?”
@@IGOTTRIXUPMYSLEEVE YES someone else referenced it :D
@@IGOTTRIXUPMYSLEEVEFINALLY SOMEONE SAID THIS-
8:51 emergency fog situation ☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
❤❤❤❤❤hi
Why did I read that as frog? I guess I’m just used to seeing “EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION”
We are number one
@@locamiGIh❤i
I grew up in government housing, and we got regular drama shows. One mirrored the meth incident you mentioned, but with a further twist.
Guy calls the police to report that a neighbour had stolen a massive bag of marijuana (this was well before legalization).
The police showed up, asked the alleged thief if he stole Guy 1's weed. Guy 2 stated that he had, but only because Guy 1 owed him a bunch of money, and he was seeking compensation.
The police told Guy 2 to go get the weed and give it back. He did so, and they arrested both of them - one for petty theft, the other for possession.
Could have been worse; the amount was enough that both of them could have been nailed with trafficking.
Emergency tiny frog situation🚨❗️‼️🐸❗️‼️🚨
3:56 sounds like an emergency frog situation
Emergency Frog Situation!!!
‼️🚨🆘🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🆘🚨‼️
Ok you win
*_Bonetrousle_*_ begins playing_
But is the cold deer opaque or clear?
@@valerielevasseur8674 turn that opaque deer clear
I don't know if this is a thing but... strangest thoughts people have had as they're falling asleep?
Last night around 12:30 pm the phrase "I love you... 11 inch pie" repeated in my head until I fell asleep and I thought it was the funniest thing ever
I used to work in the emergency department of a local hospital and this just brought back a tooonnnn of memories. Objectively typing triage notes about butt removal stuff is such a learned skill. Seeing “Rectal trauma” was so cryptic lol. A massive zucchini, unbroken lightbulb, pink still vibrating marital aid (that one had to be surgically removed), and a small electric toy hamster were all during my watch. And all grown men. 🎉
How many of them claimed they fell on them?
Honestly, I'd be more surprised if anyone admitted they were exploring their inner world when asked why they have a large object in their rectum.
Not the lightbulb! That's terrifying.
Matt, I can’t help but notice that you’re approaching 1 million subscribers. You know you can get emojis on play buttons now? isn’t there a certain human head bone emoji you’re especially fond of?
Please never call it that again.
HUMAN HEAD BONE EMOJIIIII
YAY HUMAN HEAD BONE EMOJIIIIIIIIIIIII
Matt gotta make a TH-cam comment video for it
You mean the cranium emoticon?
I went to elementary school with a girl who would call 911 to get attention / revenge on her parents if throwing a tantrum didn't work. She called 911 because they didn't let her pick the movie for family movie night once. She was really proud of this too
Bruh.💀
How did she enjoy the 2 month stay in jail & being hit with $2000 in fines that Mommy & Daddy took out of her allowance for the next 10 years?😂
I can just imagine this:
"Let's examine the scene"
**walks over to the body**
"Um...that's a potato" 😂😂
Reminds me of a line from The X-Files episode "Humbug":
"We're exhuming your... uh, potato?"
Context: They thought someone had been burying a body, but he was just burying a potato by moonlight to... cure warts, alright- that sounds weirder even IN context...
1:30 As someone with a severe peanut allergy I must say that packing peanuts are a major threat, and could possibly trigger an EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION!!!
*Throws packing peanuts at you*
@TheCreepyPastaArchives, *gottem*
E m e r g e n c y F r o g S i t u a t i o n ! ! !
*we are number one starts playing*
*E M E R G E N C Y F R O G S I T U A T I O N ! ! !*
0:52 Fun Fact: I once had an officer come to my house because someone had supposedly "reported" that someone was pouring paint down the gutter and the officer had "tracked it down" to my house. I informed him that my neighbors have a bazillion pine trees and that it had rained recently, making the pollen look like thick yellow liquid.
I forgot that the emergency number in america was 911 so for a split second I was like "how could you call 9/11?" 💀
(edit: im not even british)
Our British minds 💀💀💀
" Yeah hello, I think you illegally parked your plane in the fucking world trade center"
In Sweden the emergency number is 112
SKUHULL EMOJIIIIII
oh 9/11
I’m glad you read out "drunk and disorderly" tbh because it would’ve absolutely taken me a full minute to realize the D&D in this context is not, in fact, Dungeons and Dragons. I may be stupid… end of sentence :’)
When I was in 1st grade, I mistook ordinary vans for kidnappers a lot, so I almost called the police because I saw a van parked across the street from my school, but my parents took the phone out of my hand before I could call 911. It was an Amazon delivery van and it was parked outside of a house to deliver things to them.
To be fair, the potato at 2:14 looks exactly like a human toe.
Yeah and it makes sense they didn't want to touch it to confirm and mess up a crime scene just in case it actually was a body 🤣
4:35 sadly, the case remains cold.
☃️
Funny number on the likes has been incinerated
100th like, that's pretty cool!
104
Fun fact: in Sweden it's obligatory for children to attend school, and as such you can actually call the cops to have them transport the child to school. They don't appreciate it, and it probably doesn't happen very often at all, but technically possible.
My younger cousin once called 112 because he had trouble with an essay for English
"I shidded and farded" sounds particularly hilarious when said in a half-drunk british man voice
3:17 tbf, it's not uncommon to have a heart attack for taking viagra
There was this fake phone at a Chuck e Cheese location I visited when I was young. One of the numbers was for the "Chuck E. Cheese emergency hotline" or something like that so I called that, and thinking I actually called the police, I hung up. I'm so stupid.
someone once called 911 on me and my cousin for sitting in my uncle's car while eating cheesecake. before calling 911, they asked us what we were eating and got angry when we said cheesecake because they were allergic
Wow, that person sounds extremely self-centered. They think that just because they can’t have cheesecake, no one else should be allowed to? Mega yikes. My sister has a dairy intolerance, and I distinctly recall a time when someone brought our family cheesecake, which she obviously couldn’t have, but instead of making a fuss about the rest of us eating it, she just went and got herself a doughnut instead. She was, at this point, under the age of ten.
1:23 "just wanted to call you guys to make you aware I'm in possession of two *flexes* unregistered guns"
matt rice
Matt rice is my favourite TH-camr
Matt Rice??
Fax 🗣️🔥🥶
mattress rice
MATT RICE LOL
I remember when I was 6 years old, I called 911 on our landline phone because my sister and cousin said I couldn’t play with them.
After my parents found out and chewed my ass for it, I somehow got it in my head I had to CALL BACK to apologize. I vaguely remember it being the same responder and that they cussed at me over the line before my parents found me calling them again
…you know, I don’t know if I’d want someone who cusses out a six-year-old for apologizing to be my lifeline in a emergency. Doesn’t exactly scream ‘can keep a level head’.
😭 that responder was rude bro 😭
@@Engardiansame. That's what I'm saying.