Hi guys for all my exclusive content, and the ability to ask me any question see my patreon www.patreon.com/Sadiapsychology One to one sessions see link in bio
NOPE. You're speaking from the perspective of ONE country and a very Westernized country at that. Phillipines, Colombia, US, China, Japan, and more have WILDY different perspectives on what is attractive and desirable. You have a Myopic Westernized Muslim traditional view of the world.
Choose a person who chooses you because there's an underlying element of respect. And with respect, there's peace, there's loyalty. 😊🎉 It's that simple. 😊
But what about your respect to him/her depending on your gender ofc.... If you have to change your type to get with who choose you.. cuz you didn't choose them in the first place... Choice paradox.. isn't it ??
Here's a bold suggestion - try to prioritise connection over pure looks and the attraction will follow. All I hear about is looks and this is why people's relationships are not working
Discern character, disposition and behavior. Romance attraction and chemistry does not create relationship success. When you meet some one that you feel, comfort ease and safe with its a good sign. Appearance and chemistry is greatly overvalued. Common sense before emotions. Chemistry is basically lust and limerance. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record When you choose someone with NONE of the dealbreakers you'll have peace and stability There is no unicorn or perfect person. Healthy relationships are based on equality mutuality and reciprocity. Partnership. Team Players. Compatibility is shared core values emotional maturity and a blendable lifestyle. Chemistry is the tip of the iceberg. People are either focused on the external, superficiality or totality, substance and depth. The complete package.
Or up your game. Improve yourself. That is also a way to attract your type if your type hasn't been showing interest. Improvement can come in many forms: physically, relationship skills, getting more financially healthy like out of debt. There is also education and career advancement. Or just becoming a more interesting and fun person to be with.
In college I joined a Fraternity. I learned lessons in social skills and etiquette. In addition I had a group of brothers who backed me up thus giving me confidence. I learned teamwork and how to achieve common goals. Great stuff which made me more marketable socially.
I love this woman... she's so practical and intelligent. Finally, someone I can resonate with. Her energy is much needed. Can definitely, feel her Taurus energy.
saying "choose someone who chooses you" that is correct.. but that doesn't mean you need to go after the people you dont like or aren't attracted to, but are attracted to you. its about investing in people who also invest back.
In the real world (at least in my area) most people get married bc they feel it's time (i.e. pressure, bio clock ticking, they know nobody else wants them, they know the type of men/women they really want will never go for them) and get with whoever is in their vicinity that says yes to them. Gotta be careful with who you end up marrying bc they may actually not be that into you. I say watch out for those with rap sheets, low self esteem, narcissists, divorcees & those with kids. These types usually know that it will be hard to find someone that'll entertain them with all that baggage (much less an attractive, smart, single, never married, etc man/woman) so they hold on for dear life to anyone that shows interest.... whether they're into them or not.
i was getting mixed signals on what defines a person's "type". it started out sounding like a list of physical attributes, but ended on sounding more like a list of personality traits. in my experience, (and i assume the real message here) is that it has to be a combination of both. physical attraction opens the door. personality (and alignment) determines how long you'll stay inside.
I like that she called him out on "men just want peace". She's so wise, peace is something that's created. It doesn't just happen. Your behaviour & actions must be conducive to peace.
This is good advice. I don't think people ever love equally. There is always someone who loves a bit more. What is most important in any relationship is a sense of humor and a solid friendship. The ability to forgive is up there, too.
My way to pick the ideal partner, was to make a list of the ideal characteristics of a partner, no restrictions. What I want and what I do not want in a partner. After making that list, since we meet people who are like us, I had to compare myself to that list. I was surprised about not passing some items in my own list. So I improved that and amazingly, I met my wife, she wanted something serious, she passed all the items in the list because I met someone like me when I passed the list too. And here we are almost 20 years later. Happily married. She is the best decision I ever made. People talk about compatibility. It only matters during the first contact. But I do not think it is about how compatible you are. It is about the characteristics you bring with you, and how two people use these characteristics to BUILD a relationship. A relationship is built with daily interactions. Part of these characteristics are the values we bring with us and the ability to be true to these values.
@@elaineen1 I am sorry about your loss. One day I will have to face that too. The day when my father in law died, he was very sick. I told him not to worry because I would take good care of his daughter. A few hours later he died. And here I am honoring the promise I made to him. If one day she passes away, the only thing I will be able to say is "mission accomplished" by honoring that promise to the last moment. There are people who wasted their life doing stupid or bad things. You spent your life doing your best, and that matters a lot. Not everyone can say they were married for a long time.
Amen!! This right here has been me for the last 10 years, yet my hope and joy continue to grow. Love every season of your podcast. Looking forward to more. Bless you!
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: PICKING THE IDEAL PARTNER 00:01 🚶♂️ Women's preferences can be specific, while men's preferences often vary. 00:30 🔄 Adapt your type based on those genuinely interested in you. 02:08 🤝 Mutual interest indicates a realistic expectation. 04:13 🙅♂️ Pursuing those not genuinely interested leads to disrespect. 06:04 ☮️ Peace is a product of wise selection and respectful behavior.
This really helped me. My ex broke up with me after 9 months essentially over deal breakers. I was her first bf. She didnt know what her deal breakers were and woke up one day and decided something she knew about me from the start was a deal breaker. It was hard to accept and I tried to get back and make it work because I was trying to cling on and force change in either her or me or both to find a compromise that would satisfy her and to some extent me because it turned out there were things I wanted that she didnt. I accepted her for who she was (before I fully understood what was her deal breakers) but she didn't accept me for who I was. I think this info at the end of the video has made me see that maybe she was right to breakup with me. Just a shame we didn't save ourselves the trouble before dating. Not sure the pain was worth it.
A lot of us have been there buddy, don't beat yourself up. You didn't say one word in your comment that made me think you aren't a nice, caring guy. You sound like you are a lot wiser at your age than I was, I was stuck in a decade long relationship with my high school sweetheart. I never felt she was the one but we loved each other very much. I moved 12 hours away to give her space to be happy in the end. It sounds like you've been thinking and learning from your ex, that's good. If I can pass on any advice to you, if it's appropriate, don't leave on bad terms. If you've said something you may not have meant when you were really hurting, apologize for it. Be sincere. Neither one of you will benefit if you leave on poor terms when it's not necessary. I was pretty disappointed in the complete loser my ex married...the last thing I said to her before I blocked her was "please don't ever ask me for any help again." My regret is not telling her I'd always love her and the best of luck, I'm a lot better man than the last words I said.
I feel that the advice to compare the type of people you are currently already attracting vis-à-vis your ideal partner, to test your personal level of delusion (or trauma) is great advice. However, there is something to be said about using your "ideal partner" as motivation to improve yourself.
Hi guys, thank you for watching. Please make sure you subscribe to my Patreon for the full version of this clip plus load more content and a question and answer❤🎉
Nice Convos here, I’ve never had a type, thats been my type, luckily i’ve organically chosen the girls that have chosen me but i’ve luckily had a blessed and gratitude amount of choosers to pick from, its simple like breath-work and no expectations and just strengthening my own temple always, I’m 47 & idk whyTF ppl are stuck in their heads so much these days, overthink more than ever, it’s amusing & random to me, thinking theres some algorithm to hooking up, just plain logic & intuition and willing to not have it all is what then drops it all in ur lap, letting go for timing to hug you, I’ve never gotten the “most pull” whatever that is, but definitely plenty of pull to make my wildest dreams feel always possible & will happen
You are correct you try to get them to not change but what they presented themselves as, at times ; they do this to get you. Then hit a 360 degree on you.
I'm surprised that she calls herself a psychologist but she never mentions any research data. I can feel comfortable with her answers, but are they realistic and researched or just her opinions or her bad experiences.
Sadia, love your content. Finally someone who’s actually practical in advice and not just “manifest” this and “don’t settle, you’re a queen/king!”. Also, if you’re attracted to a type and the type doesn’t like you back. Maybe try some self improvement to become someone your type would actually date. If you want a high value woman/man, then become a person of high value too.
Wow! Sadia I like a lot of topics you speak on you make great points! But this opening opinion on what types not being interested in a person has me on the fence with your solution and your suggestion that the person of interest are delusional about their types of interests in female or male gender socializing. Life is all about energy and you could be in a place in the universe or season, where that energy for what type of person you’re into is very negative like a virus taking over a computer and infecting the whole system. Like a vampire infecting a victim to only come out a night, when at first they were the nicest persons or lovable types around. I believe sometimes when you’re in an unfavorable environment for your social life, you might have to take into consideration a more suitable place in the universe or season that you’re in and change your environment or even wait for a better season for your favorable out come. Move to a new city or plan to move to another location could be the best solution for what you are looking for cause if you settle for less than what you want, you’ll never be fully happy and it will be a fling not a flame 🔥 of true love. Never Settle! Just Believe! ❤️ But what I will say is that Sadia gave a great solution if you’re the desperate type of person. Then that’s a great solution for change real fast! And I do agree with one major point she makes when she says to “choose the one that chooses you!” If you can wait, your type will choose you in the right season. So be patient if not, Sadia’s solution will work! Happy trails!
But they need to work on themself - work out, eat healthy, have hobbies and etc. You need to be in a good place before looking for a partner. Your energy attracts people... I say this from experience.
That’s right… come correct. Peace is created. I’m a peaceful woman and I find the men that claim they want peace is full of drama. What they want is a sucker they can take advantage of. Life is peaceful in relationships with boundaries, mutual respect, and win-win agreements.
If I settle with someone who isn’t my type but I’m theirs, wouldn’t I end up disrespecting & having resentment towards them?? As much as I want to be chosen I would also like to choose. The type that is often attracted to me are insecure and think I’m meek because I’m an introvert, but passive is not what I am, so I don’t know about this…
Have you taken the time to get to know these people you are calling insecure? Her advice is look within that pool for the ones you ARE attracted to. Your question isn't the same. We all have assumptions about the other person. Getting to know them can change how we see them or are seen ourselves. So they may be assuming you are meek. They don't know you yet. Their assumption (or your assumption they think this) has nothing to do with whether they can deal with and like the real you. Just because someone is interested in a person who seems to have a certain trait doesn't mean they are looking for that trait in a person. Likewise, just because you assume someone is insecure doesn't mean they are insecure. They could be going through something at the moment. This includes the environment you see them in not being conducive to them. It could be because you are in the room and they are interested, they are simply nervous. It could very well be that this thing you are seeing is a weakness in people who are better suited for you but one that can change or you can accept if you actually gave those people a chance. So often we are attracted elsewhere because we working through things. We miss and make up excuses because we are more concentrated on our trauma than we are on building good things for us. Plus type is nothing more than preference. So you prefer peanuts to almonds but you have a peanut allergy. You don't have to give up nuts but you really should give up peanuts. You can continue to take the risk with the excuse that you have an EpiPen cause you just love your peanuts. Or you can try not just almonds but other nuts. Extra points for realizing that peanuts aren't even a nut just like "my type" may be masquerading as a possibility when it isn't.
@@siluogompah4463 Thank you for your perspective. I hear you loud and clear. I’ll have another listen, and maybe not come from a place of being defensive.🫣
This truly is the best advice ❤ when you’re truly ready to listen without prejudice and understand what she’s saying and live it - you’ll find it makes so much sense and you’ll naturally prioritise true connection over superficiality
Interesting points here Sadia. I heard a psychology professor ( back in my Uni days ) say about selection: women PICK men first, then the man can decide to pick back. Therefore, men need to see who selects them, then they can go with that woman who likes them, or the man can move on.
Yea absolutely true. Women within 5 seconds of you entering a room, know if they want you or not. Then she'll maneuver herself into position to communicate. She just picked you, without you knowing it. If everything goes well, she chooses to either have sex with you or not. That's your confirmation she likes you. If she continues to communicate with you after sex, does extra little things for you, like sending cute little emojis, setting up dates etc. Then she wants a relationship. This is where the man turn comes in. Now it's the man's turn to choose If he wants her in his life. A serious relationship. Women control access to sex, men control access to long term relationships. Women picks the man, the man then picks the woman. And time is a woman's worst enemy.
Actually, men pick first, and women can only pick from who approaches. I could want a man any how I want but if he doesn't approach, I wouldn't stand a chance.
@@TheQueenIsWithinHm, exactly. At the first encounter you already feel whether he is attracted to you or not. If not, he'll never really and fully choose you. You might be useful, might become the wife even, but you'll always be reminded of this somehow. Wise men who change their type and deeply and they're no users or overly rational? I should still meet one😂.
@factswise-psychologicalfac84 she really isn't though what are you talking about half her pint are completely opposite from red pill, red pill says go for the tall man where as she isn't, they say oh yeah well you're having a problem well sucks for you, but she doesn't say that she says change your type because you don't deserve it, lol,, lmfao,,. what are you talking about what are you not listening, why are you not listening, lol,, lmfao,,.
common sense but most women do not think with common sense, she has all the options in the world and it telling other women to lower their standards for the man they wanted but cannot get, she would not settle herself but is advising other women to do so and it is not realistic based on how women think, but closer to rational thinking like a man.
The entire MGTOW pick up culture and neo feminism is to destroy true genuine love and connection if you've noticed the single epidemic has grown massive 50.01% of pop Is single and childless in western world (Jordan Peterson).........every man needs to listen to RC Blake's
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
@@BonnieSetliff its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
Choose someone who is a reflection of you. You can't be with someone who's not a reflection of you. If you want a good wife then you should be a good husband and vice versa
a person who lives a strong value system & morals, and who doesn't make things all about themself = a high quality person. be are a high quality person (NOT a self-centered one), and make sure it shows. put yourself in lots of situations with similar high quality people. yes as she says there are many dealbreakers - don't get romantically close to anyone self-centered or other dealbreakers including a massively different value system
One doesn't pick a partner. One invests time and energy in a person that might be potentially a good partner (ideally the partner) and then you see if it works out.
They both nailed it in the first few minutes. Seems most people are sweetly deluded as to what they bring to the table. People want the 8's,9's,10's expecting them to lift them and fail to grasp that these folks don't hv to compromise nor lift anyone. Biology is harsh so keep it realistic as to what you bring to the table. She made a good point about resentment and resulting quiet disrespectful ways you treat those who are not your type where you make changes to be with them.
I think it's dangerous to generalize, unless you have a very specific type of man. For example, I used to be attracted to direct and dominant men, but after attracting only narcissists, I decided never to date a man like that again. I started studying and refining my style, realizing that I attract men I'm not physically attracted to and equally attractive men, and they reciprocate. HOWEVER, I'm now focusing on reciprocating only with those I can verify are functional and empathetic. I believe she is referring purely to physical appearance, when in reality, we see everyday 'unattractive' women with handsome men and vice versa. I think attracting a certain physical type is obviously not a challenge; the challenge is filtering and seeking out good people.
Selection & behavior - you create peace! So powerful! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! I’m in exceptionally good shape (short but super fit) and my BF is tall and overweight (hates to exercise) but it works for us.
@@DavidMatias79 yes it is. The full podcast should be there if you Google sadia Khan psychology. It was there when I saw the full podcast over a week ago. But the full version may have been taken down I am not too sure.
This doesn't work unfortunately. What someone is attracted to is what they are attracted to, and if they change that, there will always be a voice in the back of their mind telling them that they "settled" which can cause a lot of conflict in one way or another.
Exactly 💯 Her advice is logical and makes sense, but it's also contradictory because if you're not attracted to people who are choosing you but you pick from THAT pool, you will end up disrespecting THEM cuz you don't want them genuinely. At the end of the day, you have to MUTUALLY choose EACH OTHER. And that's what will always be the challenge: finding a partner with equal and mutual interest!
The problem is most of the time women that are compatible with men are not attracted to each other and People who are attracted the most to each other are the less compatible to live together that's my experience and how i see things around me🤔
I used to have this issue until I learned how attraction worked and met my husband. Did a lot of healling work, now I have zero interest in men who cause me any grief.
i really love the fact that you are speaking to men and having this kind of conversation or dialogue. You are doing a great job madam, continue what you are doing!
Make sure you’re the best version of yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually and sure, physically and/or financially to add to your best qualities or you will attract ones that choose you who aren’t good for you because you are not good to yourself.
This peace talk is real talk. I was peace when my man came into my life. He turned it into something sexually toxic and cheated. This disturbed my peace within. Then he complained why do i not bring him peace. Its a joke! I think you’re so cool, Sadia ❤
I agree choose a person who chooses you. However you do not especially need to change your type. I would rather say be flexible: cause a particular person may or may not be exactly your so-called type but she's into you. Mutual interest period. Ladies dictate attraction it is what it is! Ladies dictate how often you have sex with her! Men choose wisely!
She will go for people who want her rather than people she wants. That is her strategy. She gets turned on when people get turned on by her. Cool, but not everybody works that way.
It is fairly simple, but we make it complicated and dramatic by our lack of control. Two people that truly love each other should be able to be loyal, honest, respectful and supportive to each other. When any or all of these are difficult to do, I don't think it's genuine love....if this is the case be honest with yourself and get to the root of why being fully committed is so difficult. Then decide how to fix it...stay and change your actions or leave the relationship, for both parties sake.
This aligns with the book 'From Brokenhearted to Brave' and I def agree, if you aren't achieving the results you want you need to change what qualities you value in potential partners :)
“Change your type” is such bs. There are physical qualities both men and women are attracted to naturally. You cant change that. You end up settling and being unhappy if you don’t get it. Which will lead to infidelity eventually to fulfill that need
@@fungaifakaziyou’ll change ur type if it’s not working and ur desperately wants to be in a relationship ..it might end up working BTW and u end up seeing and loving things u didn’t see before If ur not in hurry ..then stick to ur type and good luck searching
Attraction though changes with time and is fed. We are attracted to more than one type and in different ways but we love to focus on the one that we feel will give us the most status because part of the journey in life is one of self worth. I've known guys that I know aren't good looking yet I appreciate the way they look and an open to them. And there are people it took me longer to truly see just because they hadn't found the right style or haircut. She is saying look at who you are attracted to only within the group who are also attracted to you. I've seen men obsess over women who don't want them who aren't even pretty. It's wonderful when people see us as so valuable so I'm not trying to say that much about looks here. Just that they are loving the person has figured out their best look but they are missing so many other people simply because the other girl is a thin blonde who has triggered a rejection response. This is one example. Women do it, too. No one is saying don't like blondes or thin women. Just realize where interest is not reciprocated is not a wait and see prospect. Look for interest and investigate attraction and compatibility from there.
Sadia makes a lot of sense. My Dad didn’t let me talk to guys. I didn’t really talk to men until I went to the university. Right away I saw I liked my husband (before he was my husband) rather than the college kids.
Everything you say is perfectly rational and logical. You are absolutely 100% right, but unfortunately we can't fake being attracted to someone that isn't attractive to us. I used to be athletic, but in the last 7-8 years I put on a lot of weight following injuries that forced me to stop practicing the sports that I loved. This means the women I find attractive are clearly not attracted to me anymore and I understand them perfectly. I can't and don't hold it against them. But the thing is, just because I'm overweight doesn't make me attracted to overweight women! Trust me I would really love to be madly attracted to women that are of a similar body type as I am currently, but I am not, and I can't force it or fake it... :(
Makes a lot of sense. I attract athletic types and I recently realised I naturally have an athletic type body. Going to create a short list of deal breakers, thank you 🙏
Lucky you. I'm on the tall side (just under 6ft), slim physique but seem to attract short guys-considerably shorter. With off putting qualities like control issues, big drinkers. So not my type 👎
She’s basically telling this guy what many of us men know as “Genuine Burning Desire” or “Choosing Signals”. In other words gentlemen, quit chasing women! Wait for the one that looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights or that is starry eyed. That my friends is genuine desire, and it will be crystal crystal clear when you see it!
When you go for somebody that is your type But you're not necessarily their type There's an element of disrespect, always. There's either I'll counsel you on last minute I will talk to other people There's an element of disrespect If you're causing that person to shift type to be with you, They'll start to disrespecting you because they don't want to be there So what happens is when you choose a person that chooses you There's an underlying respect Then you'll get some self respect & mutual respect Here's the thing That supermodel girl doesn't have to compromise So if you are super short, old, overweight She doesn't have to compromise Why would she choose you? Choose the girl that chooses you because then she's not resenting you for having to compromise . Selection & behavior . Peace is created, you create piece . You create that peace by your behavior, well firstly by your selection process You don't choose a woman that's chaotic & got too much chaos going on You choose someone who also likes peace But secondly you create peace in your home by acting in a way that's kind, considerate, respectful, loyal . But here's the problem People will find somebody that they really like who has a million deal brakers & then try and cling on to that person & get them to change And the relationship is a roller coaster Whereas if you just select people who have none of the deal breakers , even if they're slightly less great things, but none of the deal breakers, you are not forcing change You are forcing acceptance You're just accepting them And then the relationship is smooth
I never new this could change a type sadia u a powerful women my gosh u a gift to men an women an what I love the most about u is that u so equal to men and women
@@dm1795 Honestly, I think she is right on a lot of things. She is a million times better than manosphere. She's helping us to have realistic expectations rather than fight feminist/manosphere ideologies - she's the only woman preaching peace amidst this gender/sex war, reminding us that we need each other. She has my attention.
I never had a type . I always responded well to guys who liked me first. I used to like a guy who was a doctor which was never my type. He did not presue me so I left him as my friends. Never presue a guy who is not into you.
I know so many working relationships where you have a short girl with a really tall, stout man or the woman is taller than the man or one is physically beautiful, one is not so much and do on. People, forget this kind of advice that puts the focus on looks. It’s attitude that matters! If you’re a girl who wants over 6” and don’t get attention from them or a guy who wants a 10 but can’t get close…it doesn’t mean you won’t get it. It just mean you are less likely. Just picture this, Catherine Zeta Jones married a grandpa, Pierce Brosnan or Hugh Jackman married average women, Hugh Heffner, well, he wasn’t that good looking and we all know him. At the end of the day, it’s attitude that matters and having a good time with the other person.
Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas had a shotgun wedding. She was pregnant with her son when they wed, they also nearly divorced and were separated for quite some time a while ago. Hugh Jackman and Deborah Furness just announced their split. He was very young when he married her and she was quite a good bit older than him. Hollywood marriages aren't the best examples.
Im in the same situation, there is a guy iv been talking to and getting to know for a year now. I love his personality, our values and goals align... We in a very smooth and happy friendship, we talk daily and all the time I just dont find him attractive. I dont know what to do. We talked about it and told him this, we both decided to be friends.
@@melmel7011 Good that you got it sorted out. It's a little scary for me to bring this up to her. She is so madly into me that even a hint of it brings her to tears which breaks my heart.
@@melmel7011ou may feel on some subconscious level that you either don’t deserve someone that great for you or deserve the long term happiness being with him could bring. No hate just speaking from experience.
@@meenalpa I hear you, Iv not truly had crappy relationships. Iv been lucky to have been loved. You can be with someone who loves you but who has traits you do not like in a long term relationship. That is why my relationships did not work out. With this one, I love everything about him except for how he looks physically
Hi guys for all my exclusive content, and the ability to ask me any question see my patreon
www.patreon.com/Sadiapsychology
One to one sessions see link in bio
NOPE.
You're speaking from the perspective of ONE country and a very Westernized country at that.
Phillipines, Colombia, US, China, Japan, and more have WILDY different perspectives on what is attractive and desirable.
You have a Myopic Westernized Muslim traditional view of the world.
You are correct about delusion the. If people cannot attract what they want in a given area, like a Hunter, they should change their territory.
Choose a person who chooses you because there's an underlying element of respect. And with respect, there's peace, there's loyalty. 😊🎉 It's that simple. 😊
But what about your respect to him/her depending on your gender ofc.... If you have to change your type to get with who choose you.. cuz you didn't choose them in the first place...
Choice paradox.. isn't it ??
@@am1tk_tales agree
..someone who chooses *you.* All too often we get preoccupied with the one that doesn't.
I married someone who chose me…and after a while he told me I settled for him.
@@Doctor.DentistaI don’t understand…. Is what he said a good or a bad thing?
Here's a bold suggestion - try to prioritise connection over pure looks and the attraction will follow. All I hear about is looks and this is why people's relationships are not working
Bullshit
Discern character, disposition and behavior. Romance attraction and chemistry does not create relationship success. When you meet some one that you feel, comfort ease and safe with its a good sign. Appearance and chemistry is greatly overvalued. Common sense before emotions.
Chemistry is basically lust and limerance.
Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record
When you choose someone with NONE of the dealbreakers you'll have peace and stability
There is no unicorn or perfect person.
Healthy relationships are based on equality mutuality and reciprocity. Partnership. Team Players. Compatibility is shared core values emotional maturity and a blendable lifestyle. Chemistry is the tip of the iceberg.
People are either focused on the external, superficiality or totality, substance and depth. The complete package.
@@sherriflemming3218 I definitely agree!
@@rebeccaj7164 👍 These matter most of all. How someone will treat you.
Do not forget compatibility. 😃👍😃
Or up your game. Improve yourself. That is also a way to attract your type if your type hasn't been showing interest. Improvement can come in many forms: physically, relationship skills, getting more financially healthy like out of debt. There is also education and career advancement. Or just becoming a more interesting and fun person to be with.
Men want women to change their type but dont want to change their own type to someone more appropriate. Lmao the delusion is real.
In college I joined a Fraternity. I learned lessons in social skills and etiquette. In addition I had a group of brothers who backed me up thus giving me confidence. I learned teamwork and how to achieve common goals. Great stuff which made me more marketable socially.
I love this woman... she's so practical and intelligent. Finally, someone I can resonate with. Her energy is much needed. Can definitely, feel her Taurus energy.
I find Sadia's insights very attractive
I like the way she models relationships like a process analyst. Understanding the process is essential to obtain process outputs.
>Taurus energy
@@deprecated8036 Practical.
all good until the taurus BS
Good advice and very logical. We're so programmed for high romance and chemistry but rarely feel secure without mutual respect.
Perfectly stated. Yes!
saying "choose someone who chooses you" that is correct.. but that doesn't mean you need to go after the people you dont like or aren't attracted to, but are attracted to you. its about investing in people who also invest back.
And what if no one else ever invests?
@Vivacomunismo😂😂
@Vivacomunismo savage! 😂
In the real world (at least in my area) most people get married bc they feel it's time (i.e. pressure, bio clock ticking, they know nobody else wants them, they know the type of men/women they really want will never go for them) and get with whoever is in their vicinity that says yes to them.
Gotta be careful with who you end up marrying bc they may actually not be that into you.
I say watch out for those with rap sheets, low self esteem, narcissists, divorcees & those with kids. These types usually know that it will be hard to find someone that'll entertain them with all that baggage (much less an attractive, smart, single, never married, etc man/woman) so they hold on for dear life to anyone that shows interest.... whether they're into them or not.
“Choose a person that chooses you” 💯
That’s how I met my wife
I am interloquating with all these different beauts on Facebook, and the fact is I feel exuberant and so motivated and def tranquil at mind. 😇
i was getting mixed signals on what defines a person's "type". it started out sounding like a list of physical attributes, but ended on sounding more like a list of personality traits. in my experience, (and i assume the real message here) is that it has to be a combination of both. physical attraction opens the door. personality (and alignment) determines how long you'll stay inside.
I like that she called him out on "men just want peace". She's so wise, peace is something that's created. It doesn't just happen. Your behaviour & actions must be conducive to peace.
No such thing as a 'Ideal Partner'; if you're wise and lucky you will find a SUITABLE partner.
This is good advice. I don't think people ever love equally. There is always someone who loves a bit more. What is most important in any relationship is a sense of humor and a solid friendship. The ability to forgive is up there, too.
My way to pick the ideal partner, was to make a list of the ideal characteristics of a partner, no restrictions. What I want and what I do not want in a partner. After making that list, since we meet people who are like us, I had to compare myself to that list. I was surprised about not passing some items in my own list. So I improved that and amazingly, I met my wife, she wanted something serious, she passed all the items in the list because I met someone like me when I passed the list too. And here we are almost 20 years later. Happily married. She is the best decision I ever made.
People talk about compatibility. It only matters during the first contact. But I do not think it is about how compatible you are. It is about the characteristics you bring with you, and how two people use these characteristics to BUILD a relationship. A relationship is built with daily interactions.
Part of these characteristics are the values we bring with us and the ability to be true to these values.
Well said. Sounds like my life. We were married 50 years until her passing.
@@elaineen1 I am sorry about your loss.
One day I will have to face that too. The day when my father in law died, he was very sick. I told him not to worry because I would take good care of his daughter. A few hours later he died. And here I am honoring the promise I made to him. If one day she passes away, the only thing I will be able to say is "mission accomplished" by honoring that promise to the last moment.
There are people who wasted their life doing stupid or bad things. You spent your life doing your best, and that matters a lot. Not everyone can say they were married for a long time.
Amen!! This right here has been me for the last 10 years, yet my hope and joy continue to grow. Love every season of your podcast. Looking forward to more. Bless you!
What a tough psychologist yet so pure sincere and conducive
😂 she's a women trying to make a living don't be fooled
The profoundness of 'peace is created' cannot be emphasized enough
A lot of people don’t want peace, they find it dull. Most want drama.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: PICKING THE IDEAL PARTNER
00:01 🚶♂️ Women's preferences can be specific, while men's preferences often vary.
00:30 🔄 Adapt your type based on those genuinely interested in you.
02:08 🤝 Mutual interest indicates a realistic expectation.
04:13 🙅♂️ Pursuing those not genuinely interested leads to disrespect.
06:04 ☮️ Peace is a product of wise selection and respectful behavior.
This really helped me.
My ex broke up with me after 9 months essentially over deal breakers. I was her first bf. She didnt know what her deal breakers were and woke up one day and decided something she knew about me from the start was a deal breaker. It was hard to accept and I tried to get back and make it work because I was trying to cling on and force change in either her or me or both to find a compromise that would satisfy her and to some extent me because it turned out there were things I wanted that she didnt. I accepted her for who she was (before I fully understood what was her deal breakers) but she didn't accept me for who I was.
I think this info at the end of the video has made me see that maybe she was right to breakup with me. Just a shame we didn't save ourselves the trouble before dating. Not sure the pain was worth it.
Bro, you got a real valuable lesson and learned from it. Blessings to you moving forward. Keep your head up and stay 💪🏽
A lot of us have been there buddy, don't beat yourself up.
You didn't say one word in your comment that made me think you aren't a nice, caring guy. You sound like you are a lot wiser at your age than I was, I was stuck in a decade long relationship with my high school sweetheart. I never felt she was the one but we loved each other very much.
I moved 12 hours away to give her space to be happy in the end.
It sounds like you've been thinking and learning from your ex, that's good.
If I can pass on any advice to you, if it's appropriate, don't leave on bad terms. If you've said something you may not have meant when you were really hurting, apologize for it. Be sincere.
Neither one of you will benefit if you leave on poor terms when it's not necessary. I was pretty disappointed in the complete loser my ex married...the last thing I said to her before I blocked her was "please don't ever ask me for any help again."
My regret is not telling her I'd always love her and the best of luck, I'm a lot better man than the last words I said.
she simply lost attraction and suddenly smth she didnt care about before was a deal breaker
I feel that the advice to compare the type of people you are currently already attracting vis-à-vis your ideal partner, to test your personal level of delusion (or trauma) is great advice. However, there is something to be said about using your "ideal partner" as motivation to improve yourself.
Unfortunately most people are just complaining and not doing the work..
Anima gonna anima
Hi guys, thank you for watching. Please make sure you subscribe to my Patreon for the full version of this clip plus load more content and a question and answer❤🎉
Nice Convos here, I’ve never had a type, thats been my type, luckily i’ve organically chosen the girls that have chosen me but i’ve luckily had a blessed and gratitude amount of choosers to pick from, its simple like breath-work and no expectations and just strengthening my own temple always, I’m 47 & idk whyTF ppl are stuck in their heads so much these days, overthink more than ever, it’s amusing & random to me, thinking theres some algorithm to hooking up, just plain logic & intuition and willing to not have it all is what then drops it all in ur lap, letting go for timing to hug you, I’ve never gotten the “most pull” whatever that is, but definitely plenty of pull to make my wildest dreams feel always possible & will happen
You have to be the most amazing person I have come across. Y are mY type smart and beautiful.
You are correct you try to get them to not change but what they presented themselves as, at times ; they do this to get you. Then hit a 360 degree on you.
I don't know, I don't think attraction is a choice. I'm not attracted to fat men. I never will be.
I'm surprised that she calls herself a psychologist but she never mentions any research data. I can feel comfortable with her answers, but are they realistic and researched or just her opinions or her bad experiences.
Sadia, love your content. Finally someone who’s actually practical in advice and not just “manifest” this and “don’t settle, you’re a queen/king!”.
Also, if you’re attracted to a type and the type doesn’t like you back. Maybe try some self improvement to become someone your type would actually date. If you want a high value woman/man, then become a person of high value too.
Wow! Sadia I like a lot of topics you speak on you make great points! But this opening opinion on what types not being interested in a person has me on the fence with your solution and your suggestion that the person of interest are delusional about their types of interests in female or male gender socializing. Life is all about energy and you could be in a place in the universe or season, where that energy for what type of person you’re into is very negative like a virus taking over a computer and infecting the whole system. Like a vampire infecting a victim to only come out a night, when at first they were the nicest persons or lovable types around. I believe sometimes when you’re in an unfavorable environment for your social life, you might have to take into consideration a more suitable place in the universe or season that you’re in and change your environment or even wait for a better season for your favorable out come. Move to a new city or plan to move to another location could be the best solution for what you are looking for cause if you settle for less than what you want, you’ll never be fully happy and it will be a fling not a flame 🔥 of true love. Never Settle! Just Believe! ❤️ But what I will say is that Sadia gave a great solution if you’re the desperate type of person. Then that’s a great solution for change real fast! And I do agree with one major point she makes when she says to “choose the one that chooses you!” If you can wait, your type will choose you in the right season. So be patient if not, Sadia’s solution will work! Happy trails!
But they need to work on themself - work out, eat healthy, have hobbies and etc. You need to be in a good place before looking for a partner. Your energy attracts people... I say this from experience.
Very true
Fact.
That’s right… come correct. Peace is created. I’m a peaceful woman and I find the men that claim they want peace is full of drama. What they want is a sucker they can take advantage of. Life is peaceful in relationships with boundaries, mutual respect, and win-win agreements.
I have been listening to this woman for 3 days, I am very impressed with her
If I settle with someone who isn’t my type but I’m theirs, wouldn’t I end up disrespecting & having resentment towards them?? As much as I want to be chosen I would also like to choose. The type that is often attracted to me are insecure and think I’m meek because I’m an introvert, but passive is not what I am, so I don’t know about this…
Have you taken the time to get to know these people you are calling insecure? Her advice is look within that pool for the ones you ARE attracted to. Your question isn't the same.
We all have assumptions about the other person. Getting to know them can change how we see them or are seen ourselves. So they may be assuming you are meek. They don't know you yet. Their assumption (or your assumption they think this) has nothing to do with whether they can deal with and like the real you. Just because someone is interested in a person who seems to have a certain trait doesn't mean they are looking for that trait in a person.
Likewise, just because you assume someone is insecure doesn't mean they are insecure. They could be going through something at the moment. This includes the environment you see them in not being conducive to them. It could be because you are in the room and they are interested, they are simply nervous. It could very well be that this thing you are seeing is a weakness in people who are better suited for you but one that can change or you can accept if you actually gave those people a chance.
So often we are attracted elsewhere because we working through things. We miss and make up excuses because we are more concentrated on our trauma than we are on building good things for us.
Plus type is nothing more than preference. So you prefer peanuts to almonds but you have a peanut allergy. You don't have to give up nuts but you really should give up peanuts. You can continue to take the risk with the excuse that you have an EpiPen cause you just love your peanuts. Or you can try not just almonds but other nuts. Extra points for realizing that peanuts aren't even a nut just like "my type" may be masquerading as a possibility when it isn't.
@@siluogompah4463 Thank you for your perspective. I hear you loud and clear. I’ll have another listen, and maybe not come from a place of being defensive.🫣
Yes you will
This truly is the best advice ❤ when you’re truly ready to listen without prejudice and understand what she’s saying and live it - you’ll find it makes so much sense and you’ll naturally prioritise true connection over superficiality
Interesting points here Sadia. I heard a psychology professor ( back in my Uni days ) say about selection: women PICK men first, then the man can decide to pick back. Therefore, men need to see who selects them, then they can go with that woman who likes them, or the man can move on.
Yea absolutely true. Women within 5 seconds of you entering a room, know if they want you or not. Then she'll maneuver herself into position to communicate.
She just picked you, without you knowing it. If everything goes well, she chooses to either have sex with you or not.
That's your confirmation she likes you.
If she continues to communicate with you after sex, does extra little things for you, like sending cute little emojis, setting up dates etc.
Then she wants a relationship.
This is where the man turn comes in.
Now it's the man's turn to choose If he wants her in his life. A serious relationship.
Women control access to sex, men control access to long term relationships.
Women picks the man, the man then picks the woman.
And time is a woman's worst enemy.
Actually, men pick first, and women can only pick from who approaches. I could want a man any how I want but if he doesn't approach, I wouldn't stand a chance.
@@TheQueenIsWithinHm, exactly. At the first encounter you already feel whether he is attracted to you or not. If not, he'll never really and fully choose you. You might be useful, might become the wife even, but you'll always be reminded of this somehow. Wise men who change their type and deeply and they're no users or overly rational? I should still meet one😂.
Sadia is so smart, finally speaks common sense here. All these red pills talks are nonsense
She's makin the same fuckin points in a nicer way..smh
@factswise-psychologicalfac84 she really isn't though what are you talking about half her pint are completely opposite from red pill, red pill says go for the tall man where as she isn't, they say oh yeah well you're having a problem well sucks for you, but she doesn't say that she says change your type because you don't deserve it, lol,, lmfao,,. what are you talking about what are you not listening, why are you not listening, lol,, lmfao,,.
common sense but most women do not think with common sense, she has all the options in the world and it telling other women to lower their standards for the man they wanted but cannot get, she would not settle herself but is advising other women to do so and it is not realistic based on how women think, but closer to rational thinking like a man.
She is incredible
The entire MGTOW pick up culture and neo feminism is to destroy true genuine love and connection if you've noticed the single epidemic has grown massive 50.01% of pop Is single and childless in western world (Jordan Peterson).........every man needs to listen to RC Blake's
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
@@BonnieSetliff its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
@@DarylSimpson58 this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.
I don't believe that she is in love with you and respect you. Am I right?
dude, she divorced you and you took her back?
Sadia deploy wisdom and knowledge how anybody that I've ever heard till now. Thank you so much.
I just love this woman... need more women like this❤
Choose someone who is a reflection of you. You can't be with someone who's not a reflection of you. If you want a good wife then you should be a good husband and vice versa
a person who lives a strong value system & morals, and who doesn't make things all about themself = a high quality person.
be are a high quality person (NOT a self-centered one), and make sure it shows.
put yourself in lots of situations with similar high quality people.
yes as she says there are many dealbreakers - don't get romantically close to anyone self-centered or other dealbreakers including a massively different value system
One doesn't pick a partner. One invests time and energy in a person that might be potentially a good partner (ideally the partner) and then you see if it works out.
We need more women to watch this. Sadia dropping truth bombs.
Sadia is a gift to this world, this content is a gold mine, amazing content
Best line I have heard about mate selection…
Get a fireplace not a firecracker
Jesús! I am so glad I found your channel! I love the way you break things down, Sadia! ❤
Slogan of the video : choose the person that chooses you
They both nailed it in the first few minutes. Seems most people are sweetly deluded as to what they bring to the table. People want the 8's,9's,10's expecting them to lift them and fail to grasp that these folks don't hv to compromise nor lift anyone. Biology is harsh so keep it realistic as to what you bring to the table.
She made a good point about resentment and resulting quiet disrespectful ways you treat those who are not your type where you make changes to be with them.
I think it's dangerous to generalize, unless you have a very specific type of man. For example, I used to be attracted to direct and dominant men, but after attracting only narcissists, I decided never to date a man like that again. I started studying and refining my style, realizing that I attract men I'm not physically attracted to and equally attractive men, and they reciprocate. HOWEVER, I'm now focusing on reciprocating only with those I can verify are functional and empathetic. I believe she is referring purely to physical appearance, when in reality, we see everyday 'unattractive' women with handsome men and vice versa. I think attracting a certain physical type is obviously not a challenge; the challenge is filtering and seeking out good people.
Selection & behavior - you create peace! So powerful! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!
I’m in exceptionally good shape (short but super fit) and my BF is tall and overweight (hates to exercise) but it works for us.
Need more women like you in this world. Glad it's working out for you. Thanks for sharing 👌🏽
Submitting to weakness is often a bad choice, so improve yourself and the circle of people who find you attractive will change.
Very simple and precise ideas/explanation from her.
Can we get to have the full podcast cause i like the subject and how Sadia make it easier to understand
It is on her channel on TH-cam.
@@andrewgora3672 isn't this her TH-cam channel?
@@DavidMatias79 yes it is. The full podcast should be there if you Google sadia Khan psychology. It was there when I saw the full podcast over a week ago. But the full version may have been taken down I am not too sure.
This doesn't work unfortunately. What someone is attracted to is what they are attracted to, and if they change that, there will always be a voice in the back of their mind telling them that they "settled" which can cause a lot of conflict in one way or another.
Exactly 💯 Her advice is logical and makes sense, but it's also contradictory because if you're not attracted to people who are choosing you but you pick from THAT pool, you will end up disrespecting THEM cuz you don't want them genuinely. At the end of the day, you have to MUTUALLY choose EACH OTHER. And that's what will always be the challenge: finding a partner with equal and mutual interest!
amazing. My lightbulb just clicked on
I love Sadie Khan. In fact I’m in love with her intelligence. Wow!!
Sadia speaks and brilliance flows out
The problem is most of the time women that are compatible with men are not attracted to each other and People who are attracted the most to each other are the less compatible to live together that's my experience and how i see things around me🤔
There’s no such thing as relationship or sexual compatibility if the attraction isn’t mutual.
I used to have this issue until I learned how attraction worked and met my husband. Did a lot of healling work, now I have zero interest in men who cause me any grief.
@@sophien5416but are you sexually attracted to him
Great conversation thank you! where is the rest of the recording?
It was hilarious when she said ' what's your type babe show me on paper'. Quite flirty😂😂🎉🎉
i really love the fact that you are speaking to men and having this kind of conversation or dialogue. You are doing a great job madam, continue what you are doing!
Sadia is so right about achieving peace
Make sure you’re the best version of yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually and sure, physically and/or financially to add to your best qualities or you will attract ones that choose you who aren’t good for you because you are not good to yourself.
I love when she said …’ you have respect!’ Beautiful ❤❤
This peace talk is real talk. I was peace when my man came into my life. He turned it into something sexually toxic and cheated. This disturbed my peace within. Then he complained why do i not bring him peace. Its a joke! I think you’re so cool, Sadia ❤
I agree choose a person who chooses you. However you do not especially need to change your type. I would rather say be flexible: cause a particular person may or may not be exactly your so-called type but she's into you. Mutual interest period. Ladies dictate attraction it is what it is! Ladies dictate how often you have sex with her! Men choose wisely!
The only way to achieve this kind of balance is being honest with yourself first.
Goes both ways...no relationship will work with out love...period...
women do not love men.
Do not look for partner. Find hobby with people, find best friend among them, who might become your partner.
DAMN!!!! ITS JUST THAT DAMN SIMPLE!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS EVEN NEEDS TO BE SAID!!!
She will go for people who want her rather than people she wants. That is her strategy. She gets turned on when people get turned on by her. Cool, but not everybody works that way.
It is fairly simple, but we make it complicated and dramatic by our lack of control.
Two people that truly love each other should be able to be loyal, honest, respectful and supportive to each other. When any or all of these are difficult to do, I don't think it's genuine love....if this is the case be honest with yourself and get to the root of why being fully committed is so difficult. Then decide how to fix it...stay and change your actions or leave the relationship, for both parties sake.
This is very true. Wanting the type that doesn't want you will give you headaches
This aligns with the book 'From Brokenhearted to Brave' and I def agree, if you aren't achieving the results you want you need to change what qualities you value in potential partners :)
OMG love Sadia's impression of a Essex girl. She never fails to surprise me.
What Sadia is saying here is that women should try dating within their friend zone. That's never going to happen. Anymore great advice?
😂
“Change your type” is such bs. There are physical qualities both men and women are attracted to naturally. You cant change that. You end up settling and being unhappy if you don’t get it. Which will lead to infidelity eventually to fulfill that need
MAYBE CHANGING RESIDENTIAL LOCATION MIGHT WORK IF YOU ARE IN A HURRY OF GETTING IN A RELATIONSHIP .frankly Changing your type is a big mistake
@@fungaifakaziyou’ll change ur type if it’s not working and ur desperately wants to be in a relationship ..it might end up working BTW and u end up seeing and loving things u didn’t see before
If ur not in hurry ..then stick to ur type and good luck searching
I learned long ago, “Attraction is not a choice “
Attraction though changes with time and is fed. We are attracted to more than one type and in different ways but we love to focus on the one that we feel will give us the most status because part of the journey in life is one of self worth.
I've known guys that I know aren't good looking yet I appreciate the way they look and an open to them. And there are people it took me longer to truly see just because they hadn't found the right style or haircut.
She is saying look at who you are attracted to only within the group who are also attracted to you.
I've seen men obsess over women who don't want them who aren't even pretty. It's wonderful when people see us as so valuable so I'm not trying to say that much about looks here. Just that they are loving the person has figured out their best look but they are missing so many other people simply because the other girl is a thin blonde who has triggered a rejection response. This is one example. Women do it, too. No one is saying don't like blondes or thin women. Just realize where interest is not reciprocated is not a wait and see prospect. Look for interest and investigate attraction and compatibility from there.
Sadia makes a lot of sense. My Dad didn’t let me talk to guys. I didn’t really talk to men until
I went to the university. Right away I saw I liked my husband (before he was my husband) rather than the college kids.
You have a great father
@@CA1567-v8p yes I hated it growing up but now I see he was doing it all for my good.
I have often had men approach me, ask me out and then tell me that I’m not the type they usually go for. What is up with that?
You must have a bomb personality 💯👌
He said it right - “it’s fucking mental!”
Everything you say is perfectly rational and logical. You are absolutely 100% right, but unfortunately we can't fake being attracted to someone that isn't attractive to us.
I used to be athletic, but in the last 7-8 years I put on a lot of weight following injuries that forced me to stop practicing the sports that I loved. This means the women I find attractive are clearly not attracted to me anymore and I understand them perfectly. I can't and don't hold it against them.
But the thing is, just because I'm overweight doesn't make me attracted to overweight women! Trust me I would really love to be madly attracted to women that are of a similar body type as I am currently, but I am not, and I can't force it or fake it... :(
Tricky one. Easier said than done, if you pick the ones you arent attracted me, overtime it becomes a problem
I love her! Genius insight which for women makes perfect sense to us too ✨🖤
It's weird how dumb society has gotten. Sadia is talking wisdom and common sense and he's mind boggled...
Makes sense but deep, true love is rare in our dystopia.
Makes a lot of sense. I attract athletic types and I recently realised I naturally have an athletic type body. Going to create a short list of deal breakers, thank you 🙏
Lucky you. I'm on the tall side (just under 6ft), slim physique but seem to attract short guys-considerably shorter. With off putting qualities like control issues, big drinkers. So not my type 👎
@@britjj5126 move to Scandinavia/NL/Baltics lol lots of tall people there
@@britjj5126 lol, I'm 6'3 and it seems that I attract small girls, but i know that is some common selection in our nature
@@britjj5126you don’t attract short guys, you just taller than majority of men.
She’s basically telling this guy what many of us men know as “Genuine Burning Desire” or “Choosing Signals”. In other words gentlemen, quit chasing women! Wait for the one that looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights or that is starry eyed. That my friends is genuine desire, and it will be crystal crystal clear when you see it!
Only works if you are attractive
When you go for somebody that is your type
But you're not necessarily their type
There's an element of disrespect, always.
There's either
I'll counsel you on last minute
I will talk to other people
There's an element of disrespect
If you're causing that person to shift type to be with you,
They'll start to disrespecting you because they don't want to be there
So what happens is when you choose a person that chooses you
There's an underlying respect
Then you'll get some self respect & mutual respect
Here's the thing
That supermodel girl doesn't have to compromise
So if you are super short, old, overweight
She doesn't have to compromise
Why would she choose you?
Choose the girl that chooses you because then she's not resenting you for having to compromise
.
Selection & behavior
.
Peace is created, you create piece
.
You create that peace by your behavior, well firstly by your selection process
You don't choose a woman that's chaotic & got too much chaos going on
You choose someone who also likes peace
But secondly you create peace in your home by acting in a way that's kind, considerate, respectful, loyal
.
But here's the problem
People will find somebody that they really like who has a million deal brakers
& then try and cling on to that person
& get them to change
And the relationship is a roller coaster
Whereas if you just select people who have none of the deal breakers , even if they're slightly less great things, but none of the deal breakers, you are not forcing change
You are forcing acceptance
You're just accepting them
And then the relationship is smooth
I agree. She's on point, in this video.
I never new this could change a type sadia u a powerful women my gosh u a gift to men an women an what I love the most about u is that u so equal to men and women
I think it's better to change your self to what you want to be to attract your type
This is called facing reality, otherwise you eat the shit of unrealistic expectations (social standards are our worst enemy). Also, first.
she knows nothing about reality bro. she think the dating world is the same for men and women.
@@dm1795 Honestly, I think she is right on a lot of things. She is a million times better than manosphere. She's helping us to have realistic expectations rather than fight feminist/manosphere ideologies - she's the only woman preaching peace amidst this gender/sex war, reminding us that we need each other. She has my attention.
She is so well versed and intelligent; blows those like Pearl and Fresh/Fit out of the water.
I never had a type . I always responded well to guys who liked me first.
I used to like a guy who was a doctor which was never my type.
He did not presue me so I left him as my friends. Never presue a guy who is not into you.
This is gold 🔥🔥🔥👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 But where's the full podcast?? 😩😩😩
I know so many working relationships where you have a short girl with a really tall, stout man or the woman is taller than the man or one is physically beautiful, one is not so much and do on.
People, forget this kind of advice that puts the focus on looks. It’s attitude that matters!
If you’re a girl who wants over 6” and don’t get attention from them or a guy who wants a 10 but can’t get close…it doesn’t mean you won’t get it. It just mean you are less likely. Just picture this, Catherine Zeta Jones married a grandpa, Pierce Brosnan or Hugh Jackman married average women, Hugh Heffner, well, he wasn’t that good looking and we all know him.
At the end of the day, it’s attitude that matters and having a good time with the other person.
Yes very true. Well said.
Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas had a shotgun wedding. She was pregnant with her son when they wed, they also nearly divorced and were separated for quite some time a while ago.
Hugh Jackman and Deborah Furness just announced their split. He was very young when he married her and she was quite a good bit older than him. Hollywood marriages aren't the best examples.
What if you just aren't attracted to the person that chooses you despite them not having any deal-breakers ?
Then don't pick back...you may have to move into other social circles, get selected again and hopefully you'll be attracted to her.
Im in the same situation, there is a guy iv been talking to and getting to know for a year now.
I love his personality, our values and goals align... We in a very smooth and happy friendship, we talk daily and all the time
I just dont find him attractive. I dont know what to do. We talked about it and told him this, we both decided to be friends.
@@melmel7011 Good that you got it sorted out. It's a little scary for me to bring this up to her. She is so madly into me that even a hint of it brings her to tears which breaks my heart.
@@melmel7011ou may feel on some subconscious level that you either don’t deserve someone that great for you or deserve the long term happiness being with him could bring. No hate just speaking from experience.
@@meenalpa I hear you, Iv not truly had crappy relationships. Iv been lucky to have been loved. You can be with someone who loves you but who has traits you do not like in a long term relationship. That is why my relationships did not work out.
With this one, I love everything about him except for how he looks physically
How to find a partner? For men - build yourself up so get what you want, when you broke you get what you can. That’s what Ma pops always said
Ideal partner is who respect and care for us regardless our flaws... sign me up, when can we find such a person?
The funniest thing I noticed is that the shorter gals tend to attract the very tall men. Then the tall girls feel to cheated 😂
To be honest the shorter girls are more fun and fertile. Research it.
Feel free to date short men.
Great video very informative. Thank you.
what I understand is men desire peace, women create chaos.Good point
Unattractive/Out of shape girls can attract good-looking men, For sex only. The problem is most of these women will see that as genuine attraction
“ you’re indulging in behaviours that aren’t conducive to peace”🎉
The perfect Partner is the Man who makes you feel Special. Does what he says he's going to do.