The full description of resentment from her book: "Resentment is the feeling of frustration, judgement, anger, "better than", and/or hidden envy related to perceived unfairness or injustice. It's an emotion that we often experience when we fail to set boundaries or ask for what we need, or when expectations let us down because they were based on things we can't control, like what other people think, what they feel, or how they're going to react." - Atlas of the Heart Resentment has layers that need to be untangled. My resentment towards my abusers is bc enduring abuse *is* unfair and unjust. I wasn't allowed to set boundaries. And my expectations to not be abused weren't unrealistic or unreasonable. That's a very different flavor of resentment than being upset at a coworker resting bc I didn't set boundaries around my own rest.
"Resentment is the result of unmet needs" I'm not sure where I learned that but it makes sense even with the envy argument. I've become resentful with my partner at times due to feeling neglected or because I take on the bulk of parenting and household responsibilities and am always the one left caring for our child while he goes elsewhere. I think in part I do envy his ability to prioritize himself, I envy that he doesn't care what others think, that he has time to be creative and indulge in hobbies. I envy he has someone to rely on when I feel like I don't. And yes, I have clearly communicated my needs multiple times, which is what leaves me a lot to consider. But when she said envy is the root of resentment, it made a lot of sense to me. I feel like it fits many situations where resentment is involved. Although i do believe envy falls under the anger category...
Where can we find this whole talk?? I’m super interested in this and I actually found another video about trauma and transformation following betrayal and about post betrayal syndrome. Would absolutely love to hear more about that, especially from you! :)
Interesting! Watched another vid recently and the guy claimed resentment was from being belittled and shamed to the point of feeling like you’re not worthy of living any more ?
Not sure about that ... I have felt resentment when people I make effort for, are not making it back, and also towards my mother because of some things she denies did happen. Who was I envying? These things happen to everyone and I don't expect to be exception. Also, every feeling is 'self-made' and 'self-maintained' ...
not for me. You can be resentfull someone is holding you back..Its more anger then jealousy for me. You can resent your parents or an ex for treating You like shit and not willing to be honest. You need something, they dont give it.
Where can we find this whole talk?? I’m super interested in this and I actually found another video about trauma and transformation following betrayal and about post betrayal syndrome. Would absolutely love to hear more about that, especially from you! :)
![โอ้เธอช่าง... - บี้เดอะสกา ft. ต๋อง เทวัญ (Prod. by ป๋าเพชร) [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/zbWhiLFmVL0/mqdefault.jpg)
The full description of resentment from her book:
"Resentment is the feeling of frustration, judgement, anger, "better than", and/or hidden envy related to perceived unfairness or injustice. It's an emotion that we often experience when we fail to set boundaries or ask for what we need, or when expectations let us down because they were based on things we can't control, like what other people think, what they feel, or how they're going to react." - Atlas of the Heart
Resentment has layers that need to be untangled. My resentment towards my abusers is bc enduring abuse *is* unfair and unjust. I wasn't allowed to set boundaries. And my expectations to not be abused weren't unrealistic or unreasonable.
That's a very different flavor of resentment than being upset at a coworker resting bc I didn't set boundaries around my own rest.
Resentment is an unspoken expectation
My resentment is definitely not about envy. When a group torments, stalks and harms you, you are not envying them.
"Resentment is the result of unmet needs" I'm not sure where I learned that but it makes sense even with the envy argument. I've become resentful with my partner at times due to feeling neglected or because I take on the bulk of parenting and household responsibilities and am always the one left caring for our child while he goes elsewhere. I think in part I do envy his ability to prioritize himself, I envy that he doesn't care what others think, that he has time to be creative and indulge in hobbies. I envy he has someone to rely on when I feel like I don't. And yes, I have clearly communicated my needs multiple times, which is what leaves me a lot to consider. But when she said envy is the root of resentment, it made a lot of sense to me. I feel like it fits many situations where resentment is involved. Although i do believe envy falls under the anger category...
This helps me understand the difference between bitterness and resentment. Bitterness isn’t about envy.
Very powerful, thank you!
Woooooww!!! “…but I’m holding it.” 🤯😢 Need to seriously sit on that one for a minute.
Where can we find this whole talk?? I’m super interested in this and I actually found another video about trauma and transformation following betrayal and about post betrayal syndrome. Would absolutely love to hear more about that, especially from you! :)
This is from Atlas of the Heart on HBO. She turned her book into a 5 part series.
Does anyone have the full video of this??
Interesting! Watched another vid recently and the guy claimed resentment was from being belittled and shamed to the point of feeling like you’re not worthy of living any more ?
Watched him too
Not sure about that ... I have felt resentment when people I make effort for, are not making it back, and also towards my mother because of some things she denies did happen. Who was I envying? These things happen to everyone and I don't expect to be exception.
Also, every feeling is 'self-made' and 'self-maintained' ...
Envy is a really complex thing and it's not easy to acknowledge to oneself its presence.
th-cam.com/video/aPhrTOg1RUk/w-d-xo.html
not for me. You can be resentfull someone is holding you back..Its more anger then jealousy for me. You can resent your parents or an ex for treating You like shit and not willing to be honest. You need something, they dont give it.
I resent my mother because she doesn’t remember then guilty because she is sick
Where can we find this whole talk?? I’m super interested in this and I actually found another video about trauma and transformation following betrayal and about post betrayal syndrome. Would absolutely love to hear more about that, especially from you! :)
It's from her Atlas of the Heart series
Which video did you find with trauma after betrayal? I really want to know.