How Does Money Get Divided in a Divorce
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 พ.ค. 2024
- In most cases, money and other assets, that are acquired during the marriage, are divided somewhere in the neighborhood of 50%/50%. In a minority of states, called “community property states”, 50/50 is the law. Even if you are not in one of those states, and you live in a what is called an “equitable distribution” state, you still need to be prepared for a 50%/50% division. It is very common.
If you want a division other than 50/50 for your marital property (assets acquired during the marriage) you need to be prepared with some very specific and compelling arguments.
Here are the steps that we go through, in divorce mediation, when settling the division and distribution of your money and other assets:
STEP 1: CLASSIFICATION OF MONEY AND ASSETS. We label the assets -- which we call “property” (even if it is not real estate) as either belonging to the marriage or to an individual spouse. Some assets have characteristics of both. Those are called “hybrid assets” or “hybrid property”.
Here are the most common examples of how assets are classified. Be aware, however, that different states have different ways of viewing classification. You need to consult with a professional in your state to get up-to-date legal information. The information below is applicable to my Virginia clients:
• Marital Property = Acquired during marriage (with exceptions noted in bullet points below)
• Separate (Non-marital) Property = Inheritances (whether acquired before or during the marriage)
• Separate Property = Gifts to individual spouses (whether acquired before or during the marriage)
• Separate Property = Acquired before the marriage (unless commingled with marital property, which often changes it to hybrid property, which means part marital and part separate property)
• Separate property in SOME states (including VA) = Acquired after date of separation
STEP 2: DIVISION AND DISTRIBUTION OF MONEY & ASSETS. The classification of an asset has a great deal of influence over how it is divided and distributed in a divorce. In Virginia, and other “equitable distribution” states (not the mandatory 50%/50% states, called “community property” states), the classification of an asset as “marital property” often results in a 50/50 division; but that is more a result of “legal culture” and not the law, per se.
Here are the most common examples of how assets are divided and distributed in a divorce based on their classifications:
• Marital Assets = 50/50 is the norm
• Marital Assets = In “equitable distribution” states, the division of assets can be other than 50/50. This sometimes happens when there are extreme circumstances that would make an equal distribution very unfair. Factors considered are:
1. Did one of the spouses make a far greater financial contribution to the marriage?
2. Did one of the spouses make far greater non-financial contributions to the marriage?
3. What kind of lifestyle did the couple have?
4. How old are the spouses and are they healthy in body/mind?
5. What are the circumstances that led to deterioration of the marriage?
Note: At the end of the day, bad behavior must be extreme to have an impact on the division of assets. This is particularly true if the biggest jerk makes the most money.
6. What will the tax consequences be related to various settlement options?
7. Did either spouse waste money knowing that a divorce was coming?
• Separate Assets = Unless otherwise agreed in mediation, assets which are classified as separate (belonging to only one spouse, not the marriage), stay with that spouse. They are not divided up in a divorce. That is why you must be clear on the classification of assets before you start dividing them up.
IMPORTANT: Always remember that, just because your name is on an asset DOES NOT make it yours! and … Just because you earned the money DOES NOT make it yours! Remember: Assets acquired during the marriage (by other than inheritance or gift), and money earned during the marriage, are marital assets subject to division and distribution by the court.
Always check with an attorney in your jurisdiction. This video and description include general legal principals based on Virginia law. This video and description are not intended to be legal advice and they are not intended to take the place of legal advice.
Helpful Blogs:
How are Assets Divided in Divorce: www.grainemediation.com/2020/...
Date Of Separation - Effect on Property Distribution - Virginia: www.grainemediation.com/2020/...
Mine, yours, and Ours in a Virginia Divorce: www.grainemediation.com/2018/...
What is “Equitable distribution of property”? www.grainemediation.com/2018/...
Is Everything Split 50/50? www.grainemediation.com/2021/...
Read the info in the SHOW MORE section. Great reference with links to great blogs.
Thanks!
None of this is EVER discussed prior to a marriage. No one tells you anything before the wedding. Not family, not friends, not even divorced co-workers. Everyone finds out the hard way how marriage and divorce works. Marriage is like a seriously consequential contract. You'd think at least your parents would tell you, but they don't! It's crazy!!! We all just hope for the best. Insane!!!
I think no one tells you how it works for two reasons: (1) They don't want to taint your in-love-ness with bad mojo about the legal side of marriage; and (2) They don't really understand how the rules work, either. Everyone should know what they are getting into when they get married. It is the most impactful contract you will probably ever enter into. Essentially, when you get married, you are entering into a "prenuptial agreement". But, if you don't have your attorney write up that pre-nuptial agreement specifically for your situation, the agreement that you have when you get married is based on a messy state law system that is old fashioned (many people think) and unfair (many people think this, too). If you don't want to draft up a prenuptial agreement (which is, I agree, very unromantic), at least learn the default laws and rules that will govern your life if you end up getting to divorced.
@@GraineMediation Yes, you're exactly right. As a divorce lawyer, I would bet that you've made these things crystal clear to YOUR kids. Perhaps you even try to talk them out of getting married. But most young people don't have the benefit of this advice and guidance. I will do my part when my kids start talking about marriage.
@@americanflyer4126 My kids know the score. But, I don't see the situation as all bad. When two people get married there should be an clear understanding that the following things are SHARED in a deep way: (1) children (if you have them); (2) assets and debts - even if only one of the spouse's names are on the asset/debt (real estate, money, retirement assets, cars, credit card debt, etc); and (3) your body. If you have a problem sharing any of those three things with your spouse, you will have trouble. A good way to look at the asset side of the marriage contract is that the law essentially views your marriage as a sort of "mini business". That means that the upward financial trajectory of one spouse lifts the other up, too. Same for a downward trajectory. You are no longer individuals, exactly, when you get married... and I guess this is not well understood by a lot of people.
Great video! Very informative, factual with just the right personal touch. Just goes to show how such a complicated mess divorce can be and the need to simplify it with mediation.
I called Ms Graine, very informative and very helpful.
Thank you, Ms Graine
Thank you. I always try to get people pointed in the right direction and answer their questions to the best of my ability. I became a lawyer to help people solve problems. Mediation is the best way to do that, in my opinion. Thank you for your nice compliment!
The bottom line here is, don't get married.
Yes. If you do not want to view all assets acquired during the marriage as belonging to the marriage, you should stay single. If you see marriage as a partnership -- which also includes the money -- that is a different story. Marriage is a big deal. Not for everyone.
@@GraineMediation it's not really even so much about the division of property but just legal ramifications and it's one great big hassle of a headache. Also the financial part of attorneys.
@@MichaelBrown-zp1sf I hear you. On the flip side, though, it is very expensive to be single and also a lot of work. If you have a good partner, you share the expenses and the labor. I think people can be happy both ways (married or single). Everyone needs to decide for themselves.
@@GraineMediation of course the divorce attorney wants people to get married when more than half of all marriages today end in divorce today
Exactly. The message in nut shell
Thanks for all the tips :)
You are welcome!
As a divorce mediator, I find that the more information my clients have, the easier it is to settle their divorce case (as long as that information is correct an up-to-date). I began making videos as a way to give my clients accurate information, before and during the mediation, when they were considering various settlement options. It worked so well, I decided to go public with the videos. Glad you got something out of this one 🙂
Very informative and Eloquent!
Thank you!
The capital gains considerations were very helpful for me.
Good. Many divorcing people either don't consider the capital gains tax implications or they factor for it incorrectly.
Very informative 👏
Thank you!
Great information! Thank you!
How about if a couple is separated already and they are in the process of filing a divorce. Will future Retirement plan ( purchase an Annuity in near future) be affected by divorce?
Thank You very good video.
You are welcome. Glad you liked it.
Thanks so much 🙏
You are welcome!
Great work very informative..in 2021 my wife an her wanted to refinance the house...the loan officer needed me to sign as a witness..i was apprehensive because i need contracts looked at..my wife was pleading with. Me so i signed..flash forward to a few weeks ago she made a comment saying that she told her brother that i signed over everything so im like a light bulb lit in my brain..i did my research im hoping i didn't sign a interspousal deed transfer..i got fooled if thats the case..we live in California..sadly her mom died in April 2022..im thinking her mom gave her the house in inheritance..my wife a teacher with pension benefits and she makes so much more than me.. divorce is coming
Better to take house or IRA if both are about equal amount?
Great video! I wish you were my mediator!!
Thank you, Jessica. That is a nice compliment.
You same sincere and honest, the information was extremely useful. Do these points apply for Maryland residents as well
Thank you. Some of the point apply to Maryland. You definitely need to check with a Maryland mediator or lawyer.
Best video on asset distribution, this helps a lot . Thank God I’m not married
Thank you!
Hi,
I am from california. i had a house before getting married. Taxes on my house have always been paid by me. My wife lived with me for a for a few year and paid rent. Then we got our house and those taxes have been paid by both of us.
Does she have any right to my house.
What about property in a different country in which a formal prenuptial agreement was made? In Colombia called a capitalization, which is wrote into the properties deed directly. Can you tell me a little about that? Thank you
When divorcing people own real estate in another country it makes settling very difficult. The issue is enforcement. A couple can agree on anything, put that agreement in the settlement document, and then incorporate that agreement into their divorce decree. But, if there is a problem related to the real estate in Columbia, as in your example, the state courts really can't do much about it. Their hands are tied. I'm sure there are lawyers who have tricks up their sleeves for this type of problem, but I'm sure the success rate is low, but the price is high. Specific to your question, I do not know what a "capitalization" is in the context of your comment. I also note that there is prenuptial agreement in this case. I think a first good step would be to take the prenuptial agreement to a divorce attorney in your state to see if it is solid, or if there are holes in it. Best of luck to you!
Thank you for your information. I am wondering how to divide the retirement assets like 401k, pension and social security benefits? Thank you once again!
It all depends on where you live. The laws are different in different states.
PENSION. Generally, the marital portion of a pension (factoring for contributions made after the date of marriage to the date of separation/divorce, depending on your state's laws) is usually divided somewhere near 50/50. The calculation to get there is called the "coverture fraction". Easy to find online. Usually, the pension is paid to the non-employee spouse when the employee spouse begins receiving his/her pension. Most people do not have the cash to do a lump sum buy-out. You need specialized court documents to make this happen, usually in the form of a QDRO, a COAP (Fed Gov't), Military Retirement Pay Division Order (aka Qualified Benefits Order)+ Form 2293 + 2656-10 Deemed Election, and/or other court documents required by State/County/City Governments.
401(k) ACCOUNTS. 401(k) assets are also often divided 50/50, but not always (except in community property states). The marital portion is determined same as with a pension. The actual asset is usually divided like this: look at the balance at the date of separation (or at whatever time your state laws declare an asset to still belong to the marriage), and ask the 401(k) admin to add gains/losses to the spouse's share (the 50%, usually). They have the software to figure this out. If the 401(k) money is transferred directly from the employee spouse's 401(k) account to the non-employee spouse's retirement account, there will be no taxes. You need a specialized court document to make this happen (usually in the form of a QDRO, a RBCO (Fed Gov't TSPs), or other court documents required by State/County/City Governments.
SOCIAL SECURITY is usually not divided and distributed in a divorce. The law simply allows for a former spouse, if the marriage lasted greater than 10 years and the spouse who is seeking to collect SS is 62 years old (the the ex-spouse is also eligible for SS), to collect the value of 50% of the ex-spouse's social security. This does not affect the ex-spouse's share. He or she still gets their 100% social security check. In thesesituations, the government is paying out 150%. There are some other criteria: the spouse looking to get 50% of the ex-spouse's social security check (the value of it) must not be married to another person. Also, that spouse's own social security check (the one he or she is eligible for) must be less than the 50% of his or her ex-spouse's social security payment).
@@GraineMediation thank you so much for spending time to answer on my questions. Really appreciate it! I live in Virginia though.
@@amygan5774 You are welcome. My mediation practice is in Virginia. Let me know if you need my help.
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
Anyone who feels their physical safety is in jeopardy should seek the assistance of an attorney, the courts, and the police, as necessary.
@@GraineMediation while I do not disagree with you, I am specifically advocating for men taking the initiative to protect themselves within a societal stigma that often inhibits men, for various reasons, from placing court ordered restraining orders upon their partners.
Men, be safe!
Hi. Great video. Question. My soon to be ex bought a property a couple weeks before we got married and then put it in a revocable trust where he is the sole trustee and settlor a week AFTER we got married. He sold the property a few years ago and used some of the money to buy a new property using that same trust. Does the new property qualify as material asset? What about the profit he got after selling the first property?
This is a question very dependent on your state's laws. I cannot weigh in this.
Any specific tips for no fault states?
Most states have some form of no fault divorce (although it may be termed differently). Whether your state has fault grounds or not, everyone should attempt to settle their case before moving forward with a contested, fault-based divorce. My advice is the same for all 50 states: if there is no suspicion that a spouse is hiding money, and if there is no domestic violence, mediate your case to settlement. Focus on settlement. Not litigation.
If you happens to be maned on someone else's RE as legal owner only, am I right in saying this particular asset does not form part of communal asset pot for division?
If the answer is yes, should it still be declaire on financial disclosure list?
If your name is on the deed for a piece of real estate, you cannot really say that you are not the owner. You ARE an owner. You will need to be able to explain clearly, and with documentation, preferably, why your name is on the deed for real estate that you do not actually own. That will be a tough one. However, if that asset was not acquired during the marriage, and there was no money or labor put into that real estate during the marriage, it will probably not be classified as marital property. In other words, it will not go into the pot for division and distribution. However, if one spouse has a lot of non-marital assets, that is sometimes considered for the purpose of determining an alimony award and in the dividing up of the marital property. I cannot speak to what assets are required to go on your financial list. Those rules are state-by-state. You would need a lawyer, from your state, to answer that question. You will also probably need a lawyer to help you prove that the real estate, upon which your name appears, is not really your real estate.
Love the video !
Question: I have passive rental income before getting married, (Not earned income)….will the court see this, as money earned while married?
Thank you for reading my comment and hope my question helps others!
Every state has their own laws related to what is considered "income" for the purpose of calculating child support. Many places, such as my state (Virginia) have a very broad definition of income for this purpose. Income from a rental property -- even if owned prior to the marriage -- is fair game, minus "reasonable expenses". Reasonable is often defined as necessary repairs (a roof, not a hot tub), essential maintenance, and that portion of the mortgage payments going to the interest, real estate taxes, and insurance (but NOT the principal).
Which state considers separate assets after separation date ? What does Michigan consider?
Sorry. I am not an expert in Michigan law. If you mediate, though, you can do as you please. Many of my mediation clients, in Virginia, do not apply the rules of when assets are considered "marital" or "separate". They just divide up the assets and debts in a manner that seems fair to them. This is especially true since most people do not even know this law and live as if all assets and debts acquired until they come into mediation belong to the marriage ... and they are OK with that. If you want to know Michigan law, you will need to see a Michigan attorney. Best of luck to you.
This is very hard to take for men like me who are the bread winner but the wife is a deadbeat "homemaker" who sleeps all day, watches TV and not much else.
Good luck if spouse is a owner of a scorp and they take early withdrawals and use llc and their untaxed dividends to use as silent partners in investments hide money in multiple banks. And what if you never seen a tax return because your name was forged on them for many years
Then you have cash outs from insurance annuity’s . And on and on . How about if they use their exwife from previous marriage to hide money ?
If one spouse was controlling all the money good luck !
That would be a rough situation. I would hire an attorney and forensic accountant immediately.
This woman should have her own tv show.
That is such a nice compliment. Thank you, Dan!
Hi, love your demeanor! We live in California. Can you help in California and how much can you do? Can you help achieve separation? Divorce? Can you help the couple together or only the one that makes contact? Thank you
Oh, we generally agree with idea of 50/50, no real financial arguments, so far
HI Michael. I just saw this. I cannot mediate in California. Sorry. I hope you found the help you need. And, mediators always help the couple (not just the person who contacted the mediator).
I feel like a hostage here! He controls ALL the money. Spends freely on himself, (even at casino!), while I have to beg for food I like, $ for medication, and even has $.
If I'm “good”, or perform tasks that he demands, he'll throw me a $20. If I refuse, I get nothing!!!
He has taken all my cc’s, and even debit card to joint account.
Year's of psychological, verbal, emotional abuse has affected my health -physical and mental.
He even had my paychecks, (when I was working), direct deposited to the account I had no access to. If I went into the bank to get a few bucks, is be punished ruthlessly. Then he opened account at new bank, and promptly transferred $ there, so I could not get my hands on it.
I need documentation, but have no $ to order copies, not gas to go get any.
What are my options, if any!
Desperate and deep, deep in despair.
If we have decided on the divorce already but not yet divorced, and one of us finds a high-paying job (higher than the other. currently lets say our income is at the same level) since then, are we still supposed to pay alimony? That's because if we work at the same place and find it awkward continuing in the same common workplace and decide to find another job... How does our change in income from the time we decided on our divorce affect alimony? The state would be Florida.
Usually, spousal support is decided based on the current incomes. Once you have spousal support written down in a signed settlement agreement and/or divorce decree, its openness for modification depends on the terms of that document.
i have been seperated for 9 months now. My 44-year-old husband refuses to leave the house and works just enough to pay his food and gas. He refuses to contribute to the household expenses like a roomate would do because he says he has no money but he wont get a job. he says. he cant. Our mediator encouraged him to work but understood why he would not work, essentially validating him. He made several charges to the credit card for car expenses. I have since stopped working with this mediator and we are arguing over the next step. This is hell. he is financially taking advantage of me and the house is an intollerable space for me. What can I do.
When you are dealing with nonsense you have to hire an attorney.
@@robin-personal2039 Thank you for the response. We just switched mediators and that made a world of difference.
If I have money on my personal account that I earned that doesn’t get divided right?
In all states, with minor exceptions, income earned during the marriage, and put away into a savings account, is a marital asset. That means that is it on the table for division and distribution. The law looks at it this way: it was the marriage's efforts that made that money. Not just you. You may think that is stupid, unfair, old fashioned, or backwards, but that is how it works. If you want to argue for getting more/all of that money in your savings account, that is in the category of you making a "greater financial contribution to the marriage". That is an argument for the division and distribution of the money (versus the classification of that money as belonging to the marriage or not). 50/50 on marital money and all assets -- including savings accounts stuffed with money earned during the marriage -- is normal. Although, as my clients get younger and younger, I have more and more cases that settle with the spouses keeping the bank accounts upon which their name appears, even if the values are not the same. Marriage is a sharing of your money, real estate, bodies, and children. The government should do a better job educating people on what marriage mean in their state in terms of money and real estate. The body and kid-part is easily understood by most people.
Hi. If a spouse has a separate bank account, & he withdraws the money from the account. As a way to try & hide it. Is that money apart of the marriage?
The law in most states is that assets (including money) acquired during the marriage (sometimes meaning from date of marriage to date of separation; but sometimes up until the date of divorce) belongs to the marriage. It is marital property and is on the table for division in the divorce. If you think your spouse is actively trying to hide money, you need to get on that right away with a lawyer. In my experience, even if you can prove that someone has hidden marital assets, once it is gone it is often just that: GONE! All the court orders in the world cannot produce money that has disappeared. The spouse who hid the money could be ordered by a court to pay the other spouse back over time ... but the type of people that hide marital assets are often the same type of people that don't follow court orders!
We tried a Mediator hoping to have a quick resolution, however, if both parties have a completly different perspective if 'Fair', it makes it impossible. My husband has a business which makes things more difficult to see what he actually made. He just stood his ground that we made the same. So how does a mediator work in that case. She just took our money and ended up spending more with an attorney. 😕
A better perspective might be to target "mutual agreement". What spouses can mutually agree on in a divorce is not always what is "fair". Life is not fair. Why would a divorce be any different? Search for compromises that you can live with and that give each of you a starting point in your new lives that is close to fair (but not necessary on the target of what you and your spouse feel is perfectly fair). I encourage you to keep your target close to what you would probably get if you ended up in court. That is not a perfect target, but there is usually a range of outcomes that an experienced lawyer/mediator in your area can tell you is reasonable to expect.
As for a small business, the best way to determine an owner's income is to hire a financial expert (CPA, usually, or a CDFA, in some cases) to get a handle on what the gross revenue is for about a 3-year period. You can always take an average of that, if that makes sense. Otherwise, take the most representative year's gross revenue and use that. You might even need to look at projection of gross revenue if that business's particular market has changed . Then, subtract reasonable business expenses from that gross revenue. "Reasonable" is a term that must be agreed between the spouses. If you cannot agree on what a reasonable business expense is, use few different numbers to start getting a feel for the income of the business owner. (Note: What the deductions are on the tax return is often not going to work in a divorce.) You will never get an accurate figure for what a business-owner spouse's income is. It is a moving target. The key is find a number that you can mutually agree upon.
If a spouse refuses to turn over company financials, you need an attorney to force him or her to turn over those documents. Your starting documents are usually a profit and loss statement and a tax returns (last 3 years). It will be up to your CPA/CDFA to let you now what he or she needs.
As for your spouse spouse "standing his ground", that is not language friendly to mediation. Mediation is about compromise and mutual agreement. If a spouse refuses to budge, get an attorney. Now. Your spouse does not have the personality to get through mediation. However, if you spouse is successful in business, he knows how to negotiate. He knows how to compromise. He knows how to make good financial decisions. If he is being super stubborn, that is a terrible business decision because he will spend all the money he makes and will have no time to run his business (because he will be spending it in his lawyers office and in court).
In Ohio I had premarital money I placed in joint account after marriage started and sold my prior house that I owned after marriage and he had a house he sold after marriage how does that work in Ohio getting a divorce and equity of home do they minus out . please advise Thank you so much
Watts app ???
BIG QUESTION: Do I have to share the debt for my step-daughter's college tuition??
Usually not. There might be factors, however, that make your case the exception. You might want to pay the tuition, though, if that gets you a better deal somewhere else. Everything is negotiable.
In Tennessee, home is newly built abd fully on His name but all purchased with a home we both previously sold in another state,etc....How will that be divided? Will is be based on what is the selling price of the home or Equity? And how does Equity division work? Does that mean he gets to just give me 50% of the Equity, he keeps keeps 50 and plus Home mortgage gets fully paid and he still keeps it?
This is a complicated situation. You didn't mention being married That makes a difference. Without marriage, and the laws related to that (in Tennessee), you are in the area of contract law and real estate law (not divorce law).
@@rgraine1196 yes we're married
@@merarirodriguez2127 Your best answer will be from a Tennessee divorce lawyer or mediator who understand Tennessee law. I am in Virginia. Usually, though, if one spouse is going to keep the marital residence, that spouse will need to buy out the other spouse's equity interest. That is often at 50%. The equity is usually determined by subtracting the amount owed on the mortgage from the agreed fair market value. But, it can get trickier than that depending on all of the facts and circumstances in your case ... especially if one spouse is claiming that any portion of the equity is due to his or her pre-marital money. If the house is sold, you do not need to agree on the fair market value. The sale price takes care of that. Usually, the buy-out happens soon after the separation. Some couples, however, choose to have the buy-out happen many months down the road; but that can be complicated if the paying spouse loses his or her job, the housing market takes a turn for the worse, etc. Good luck.
@robin-personal2039 . After marriage my husband opened an LLC and bought a land on which he is building rental houses with a friend. I am not involved in any paperwork but I did transfer money to my husband to but the land. How is it treated? I am currently in Virginia.
What's the best way to divide the equity in a home purchased in 2018 (with all marital funds), when the separation was in 2020? Huband kept house and made payments after separation for 2 years and is buying wife out.. Opposing counsel applied Brandenburg and he gets a huge share of the money and wife has little payout even though the market skyrocketed and she had to pay on her own home she purchased after the separation.
You might want to try and value the marital share of the equity with a formula other than Brandenburg. Though very popular with the judges and attorneys in Virginia, determining the marital and separate (non-marital) portions of the net equity value of the marital residence is not required to be done using the Brandenburg formula. However, since Brandenburg only factors for equity (principal, not interest or real estate taxes), you could be better off using that formula if marital money was used for the down payment (principal). Note that your husband's post separation mortgage payments only count, when doing a Brandenburg calculation, in terms of the principal. All payments that he makes which went toward interest and real estate taxes do not count.
Watts app ????
He sold his house and took the money abroad what happens now?
We are in the middle of divorce. My wife only wants a realtor of her choice. I put the house on Zillow and received 2 offers above Zillow Zestimate. But now she got an ex parte order not to sell assets. How do I ask for a hearing and present the offers to the judge
The problem is that you need a lawyer. Once your case is in the courthouse, the system is rigged so that you need a professional to navigate that system. More specifically, the method with which a house is marketed and sold can be determined by a judge, if the spouses do not agree on the methodology. Neither party is ever permitted to do things their way -- without agreement or judicial determination -- for jointly owned property. I do not see a judge letting either of your choose your realtor/Zillow (whether there are offers or not).
How does adultery affect things if none of the states prosecute for it??
Depending on your state's laws, adultery comes into play as a "factor that led to the end of the marriage". Of course, that always gets turned around to "the marriage was already over when the adultery occurred". Bad behavior in a marriage, in many states, is a factor that can be considered when a judge is dividing and distributing the assets. The chance of getting more $ due to adultery, though, is much greater if that adultery also led to a waste of marital money (hotels, dinners, gifts, etc). Adultery can also put a stop to the adulterer receiving alimony, in some places, although judges usually do not put adulterers on the streets if they actually need alimony to survive. In Virginia, where I am a mediator, adultery is definitely on the books as a crime and as a factor that judges must consider when dividing and distributing assets and debts (if the adultery can be proven -- which is often difficult). However, it is usually the attorneys that win big in these matters. The attorneys fees rarely justify whatever more of the marital estate you get due to adultery.
Hello I'm 62 and I'm married 33, I'm in Florida andy husband was in the NAVY 26 years. He accused me to cheat on him ( no true) I'm pretty sure he did...and tomorrow we are going to Mediator to file. I wish i had find this video earlier...
Any suggestion on
Suggestion: Focus on the money. Not the adultery. You will probably get 50% of the marital portion of the military retirement (that portion acquired during the marriage). You will need to ask for survivor benefits or they will disappear upon divorce.
I am 100% disabled from an on the job injury as a police officer. My total income each year on disability is $17,000. My wife and I work at an airline where my income was $75,000 but now that I’m 100% disabled because of my on duty injury, my total income per year is $17,000. I am totally dependent upon her for just about everything as my mother is totally dependent upon me to pay all of her bills. All of my money pays my mother‘s bills my wife has to take care of me. I have become too much of a liability and my wife is threatening to get rid of me. I have difficulty walking. I can no longer cook. Looks like I’m going to have my drivers license taken away shortly. How do I deal with this?
I have absolutely no money to seek legal advice where she has already retained an attorney
You need to seek the advice of an attorney. Though you might not be able to afford a lawyer, your state or county may have programs where you can receive legal assistance. It is never a good idea to go against someone who has an attorney when you do not. You should also look into Legal Aid where you live. If you cannot find a lawyer to help you, you might want to try mediation with someone who knows the law (a lawyer-mediator) who will be able to tell you if the settlement proposals are in line with what would happen in court. Good luck to you. Sorry for your troubles.
For the most part, that is when the $250K/$500K capital gains tax exemptions kick in. However, that does not equate to a 100% tax exemption.
You're absolutely right; the $250,000/$500,000 capital gains tax exemptions for primary residences in the U.S. provide significant tax benefits. However, it's important to note that they don't offer a complete 100% tax exemption, meaning that some portion of the gains may still be subject to capital gains tax, depending on the specific circumstances.
Hi, if u r divorce, how do u get the ex off the house title
That should have been spelled out in your settlement agreement or divorce decree. It all depends on who is on the deed. What the timeline is. Whether there is a buy-out, etc. There are a lot of variables before that question can be answered.
Hi ,
I am in the process of divorce and kids stay with me but I have to take unpaid leave from work as I have become a patient of depression because of domestic violence.
How it will effect my divorce case?
Please help
There are many ways the fact pattern you have presented could affect your divorce situation. Perpetrators of domestic violence are sometimes punished by the divorce courts. How? They receive less of the assets and more of the debt. Also, a victim of domestic violence may be more likely to receive alimony because she or he might be found unable to work due to the resulting trauma. There could also be negative consequences to the abuse victim if she or he is found to be so psychologically compromised that she or he is not able to provide adequate care to the children. This usually only is seen, however, when the victim of domestic violence also has other serious mental health/addiction issues.
Do children not factor in the financial agreement? Whomever gets the custody, should they not get the majority of the shared funds?
That is not how it works. Child-related expenses are factored for in child support and, in many cases, in a payment ratio (such as for extracurricular activities, tutoring, childcare). The assets are a separate matter. The support of children is under the category of "income and expenses" (not "assets and debts").
What about uncontested Divorce
If you mean "how is money divided in an uncontested divorce", that is easy: any way that the divorcing couple chooses! It is up to them. As a mediator, one of my primary jobs is to make sure that my mediation clients understand what would probably happen in court ("probably", because you never really now what a judge might or might not do). Often times, clients also need to understand the tax and financial implications of various settlement options. However, if clients want to do the opposite of what a judge would probably do, they are free to do that. The same goes for if they chose to settle a matter that will cause a big tax bill to one or the other of them and if what they are thinking about doing is financially not in the best interest of one or the other of them. Hope that clears things up.
I’m a retired Navy officer and police officer, with pension from both. My wife plans to retire in December 2024. She has a hybrid retirement, a pension and a 401. If we divorce are we entitled to half of each other’s retirement?
It depends on where you live. There are a of myths about military retirement. Here is the truth: military retirement and other pensions are divided between spouses based on State law. Some states are automatic 50/50 states; but most are not. States that are not automatic 50/50 states, however, tend to go with that type of division (50/50) even though that is not required under the law. The same is true for all retirement assets. So, it is not as much a matter of "entitlement" (except in the 50/50 states, known as "community property" states) as it is the culture of the courthouse/precedent. In other words, judges don't tend to be super creative. If 50/50 is what everyone is doing, that is what they tend to do. In a state like mine (Virginia), judges are required to consider a long list of factors before they make a determination on asset distribution (such as a retirement asset); but the list is so long that it is easy, in almost all cases, for a judge to justify a 50/50 split ... and 50/50 usually keeps the judge out of hot water if there is an appeal. Here is an example: the spouse with the retirement asset makes the other spouse's life a living hell. That is a criteria that may make more than 50% to the nice spouse's asset division column a proper outcome. However, if the jerk spouse is also the spouse that made the majority of the money, the scales of justice shift and 50/50 becomes the likely outcome. It is kind of a mess. Not clear. But, there is your answer. I hope it helps.
My second reply: With several pensions, such as yours, you need to do the math. It would not usually make sense to each get 50% of the other's pension. You will want come up with a percentage split that your agree on (if you are not leaving it up to a judge), to start crunching numbers and try and come up with only one pension is shared. Why is that? Because the more organizations that you have fiddling with your retirement money, the greater the chance that something will go awry. You want to keep it simple, if you can. The numbers will probably never be exactly, but that is usually OK with people. Nothing else in life is exact, either. Get a professional (mediator, lawyer, certified divorce financial analyst) who is smart and understands all of the types of pensions that are on the table. No junior associates in a case like yours.
There is no 50/50 requirement in most states when it comes to pension, military or otherwise. 50/50 is only required in "community property" states (mostly in the western part of the USA). In non-community property states, however, 50/50 is the quite common. In my state (Virginia), for example, there is a long list of criteria that judges must consider before they divide and distribute assets (including retirement). However, with such a long list, it is easy for them to justify a 50/50 split. 50/50 often keeps judges out of hot water if one of the clients wants to appeal. For example, even if one spouse was horrible in one area of the marriage (such as making the other spouse's life a living hell); they may have been an excellent financial provider. It can get very long and complicated to go through and entire marriage weighting the negative and positive financial and non-financial contributions of both spouses. So, 50/50 is the default. As for your many pensions, you will want to try and avoid dividing them all up. See if you can get to where you want to get , in terms of the percentage share you want (e.g., 50/50), and divide up and, therefore, need to file paperwork for every single pension. Why is that? Because the more financial organizations that you involve in your divorce, the more exposure you will have to people messing up your paperwork. Skinny it up and see if you can get to what you and your spouse can mutually agree to. It will never be 100% accurate because that is just how these things go. You can also do a present value (an actuarial term) of your pension which will make them look like a 401(k). That way you can more easily compare apples to apples. You will probably need a certified divorce financial analyst or good wealth management advisor or CPA to help you with you. You can also play it like the majority of my millennial clients: if an retirement asset has your name one it, it is yours. That is not how the law is written most places, but that is the trend.
72 yo, husband social security is $2K more than mine per month, 22 year marriage. Can my husband pay spousal support to equalize that income so that it becomes 50/50?
Yes. If you agree or if a judge orders it.
18 years married 15. 4 kids
Currently cohabitation and coparenting.... im still responsible for all the bills as long as she holds up her end and continues to not hurt kids with her desire to see others. .I just yesterday finally got a 6figure settlement she wants half is she entitled to half?
That is a big question. There are only a handful of states where 50/50 on assets and debts is the law. Most other states do not have 50/50 as the law, but it is deeply imbedded in the legal culture. It takes some very bad behavior, in most cases, for there to be split of assets way different from 50/50. Your attorney or mediator should be able to lay out where your case might be "in the norm" (meaning that 50/50 on assets and debt division would be fairly standard) or if your case is unique (meaning more in your column would be the more likely outcome).
money in retirement account before marriage?...over 20 years ago, unknown/forgotten difference/amounts. One person has more in Retirement because the other supported the house/kids and other investments like metals/cars/collections etc.
Assets acquired before the marriage usually do not belong to the marriage. That means that a judge does not have the ability to transfer any of those assets to the other spouse. As for retirement assets acquired during the marriage, it usually doesn't matter whose name is on the account. What matters is WHEN it was acquired. The fact that one spouse has a bigger pile of retirement money does not mean that spouse gets to keep that pile all to him or herself. Assets are often divided 50/50 (always divided 50/50 in community property states, which are usually out West. There are only 9 of them) based on whether acquired during the marriage, not based on whose name is on the account. Some states (like Virginia) also designate assets acquired after separation as non-marital (non-divisible in court). The arguments are usually against doing a 50/50 split of marital assets is usually one of of "greater financial or non-financial contribution to the marriage", "negative financial contributions" (wasting money), and other positive and negative behaviors related to the family finances and, depending on your state, to the well-being of the marriage in general. So, bottom line, who gets the assets/money is not dependent on whose name appears on the account.
How do people that’s been married for almost 40 years divorce with owning farm land? Stay home wife who raised kids always with no other source of income?
You can’t sell land because that’s what was supposed to be retiring income. It’s so complicated
Sometimes what appeared to be the only plan (such as living off the income from farmland) must be changed. Maybe you could each take half of the land? Maybe you could sell the land and use the money to live off of? Maybe you could both keep the land and run it as a business, post-divorce? Get an attorney in your area who understands farming and divorce.
I’m going through a 22 month divorce and he and his teenager and his elderly mother lived with me free and when he started getting violent I made him leave. He sold a home that he kep fixing while we were married now since he spent some of that money I have to sell my house to pay him and my attorney said pay him. He didn’t even show me what I’m paying for I’ve lost everything and he says it was our mess
Sounds lie a mess. Do you have a specific question?
What about inherited money to one party?
Inherited money is not considered part of the marital estate in any state that I am aware of. However, if you commingle inherited money with marital money, that can create problems. How commingled assets are treated in a divorce varies from state to state.
@robin-personal2039 Yes ma'am, good to know thank you!
Are you still answering questions?
Yes. Actually, I can provide information. I cannot give legal advice. What is your question?
My wife stole a lot of money from our joint credit line. Finally I caught her.will the judge consider that when money is divided in my divorce.
If it can be proved that one spouse created unnecessary and unreasonable debt against the marital estate (you said this was a joint line of credit, not your individual line of credit, so there would not appear to be a theft), the spouse who caused that debt often is required to take on more of the financial burden.
How does Child support in an divorce get determine.
Child support is usually determined based on a state calculation. Lawyers, mediators, and judges have child support calculation software that they use to determine the minimum amount due (sometimes called the "presumed amount"). If you are in Virginia, I can run the calculation for you. Otherwise, you will need to have that calculation run by a lawyer or mediator in your state ... or, some states have good online calculators. Do some Googling and see what you come up with in your state. Make sure you have all the variables that the calculations requires (all the information that needs to be input to get a correct calculated amount). Also, some parents agree on a monthly child support amount. That is usually acceptable to the courts; but you will also want to run the official calculation to see how the number you agree on compares to the state calculation numbers. Courts always have "ultimate authority" (a legal term) over child suppose. That means that, if there is a big change in circumstances, the child support amount could change. So, you need to know what the state calculation looks like (in case you end up with that number down the road).
there's a legal, and I say fair, concept of "consideration." a person gets paid, but only after performing or trading something else in return. where is the "consideration" in marriage? my name is on the asset, I did earn the money, so where is the "consideration" to justify any division?
Marriage is a very different situation than a standard contract negotiation where consideration (an exchange of one thing of value for another thing of value) is required. But, to apply your analogy, the consideration would be the exchange of one's independence for being married and all of the rights and burdens of that status (being married versus being single). When people get married they are essentially agreeing to the following: (1) to share their bodies only with one another (in most cases); (2) to share the children that the woman births (or that they adopt); and (3) to share their assets & debts, income & expenses. I know that this "agreement" is not clear to most people until they are going through a divorce. Marriage is hugely serious with all the sharing that is, by legal default, part of the deal. That is why wealthy people and business owners often enter in prenuptial agreements before they get married. They want to be in charge of the marriage contract. Not the State.
My husband gifted me a house. And my husband filed a divorce case against me regarding this house and made many allegations against me. And I live in this house. Because of this house I am not getting legal help, I do not have a lawyer. I don't have any children. And I don't work. Because depression and anxiety, receiving universal credit. What should I do please help me.
You need legal advice by an attorney in your state. The facts you laid out do not make 100% sense ... which means you need a professional to explain to you the laws of your state and your particular facts fit into those laws (and vice versa). Find an attorney in your area who will provide a consultation. That attorney will probably charge by the hour. Be very prepared with specific questions and be prepared to listen. Do not pay the attorney for you talking about strictly emotional issues (this is common). Use the attorney for legal expertise and advice only. Just because you have a consultation with an attorney does not mean you are stuck with huge legal bills. Just pay for the consultation as you are getting started on this journey.
What happens if the actual divorce was 6 years ago but the couple is finally getting around to dividing the assets
I have no idea. I have never deal with that situation, but I have heard of it. Hire an attorney to help you through. As long as you and your wife can agree on everything, it should be smooth sailing. I a not even sure how you would file the paperwork, though, since your divorce is already done. Good luck.
I want only settled.
I got married on February 13th and when I got home in November the same year she was gone she abandoned me and the home I am sick she promised to take care of me and then on social media she degrades me she got a lawsuit within the marriage what could I do what should I do we're still married I want a divorce how do I go about it please help me
You need to get a professional in your state to explain the laws to you and guide you through the steps you need to take to get a divorce. It does not sound like a complicated case because the marriage was so short. It also sounds like your wife may have already started a suit for divorce? If so, you need an attorney right away to make sure that you do not miss paperwork and court deadlines.
I am in Virginia and I really need help I want to get divorced but I want to get treated fairly in the process I always hear it's worse in court for the men
Try mediation. That way, you will have more control over of all aspects of your case. I am not sure what you are referring to when you say that "it's worse in court for the men" in Virginia. This is the best time in history for a man to be treated fairly when it comes to custody decisions. As for support, that is not reliant on gender. It is reliant on which spouse is making the money and which is not. If one spouse has an income, and the other does not (or has a much lower income), child/spousal support is often the result. As for the division and distribution of assets, that is usually somewhere in the neighborhood of 50/50, with some wiggle-room for bad behavior during the marriage and in that period of time approaching the separation. Again, if you want to be more in control of your settlement, mediate. You still might not be happy with the results, though, depending on your definition of "fair". You can respond what "fair" means to you.
Do you still need to divide money if you divorce a cheating wife
I am in Mary's America please help
If the husband hides the money, the wife doesn't have any savings. What should the wife do?
Get an attorney. Immediately.
Capital gains dissipate after five years of living in the house.
What if wife hidden money over sea ? Or she send money over sea hidden it
The first thing you have to prove is that money is missing. Then, whether you actually find the money or not, she might need to repay what she has taken from the marital estate. If she doesn't have access to a pile of cash, these payments might need to be made over time (like an alimony payment). The key is to have clear evidence that she has removed money from the marital estate without your knowledge or agreement.
How is it not all assets become one when you get married? If I had a million dollars in the bank when I got married how is it not also my wife's million dollars and vice versa? When you get married everything becomes one. If she owed a million dollars on a credit card, how would that not become my debt once we got married?
😢in my case the court took all my money
Do you mean your wages were garnished? Money goes to kids and spouses. I have never heard of the court taking your money!
hi, what about a marital froad? a young jypsie woman marrid an old man and stole 2 milion dollars in 2 years. and took addidinal mortgate on the house.
Fraud is sometimes dealt with in the criminal courts if it amounts to a theft under the criminal code for that state. If a case stays in the divorce courts, and one spouse fraudulently deprived the other spouse of assets, and it can be proven by a preponderance of the evidence (different from the criminal courts, where "beyond a reasonable doubt" is required"), the spouse who did the bad deed will either be ordered to return that money or, if it is unobtainable, he or she will probably get less of what is left and might even need to pay the innocent spouse a sum of money, over time (like a monthly amount), for a period of time.
@@rgraine1196 Thank you so much for the quick response.
What if its 8yrs after dissolution and you are still finding out things...like there was disapation, & that they were hiding an asset. I'm in CA.
I am not familiar with California law; but a California attorney might be able to help you if there was actrual fraud in the concealment of assets and the dissipation of assets.
America wants Davos
I am having an affair (no regrets) and my wife is getting suspicious of it so I figure that I should get my ducks in a row before that happens. How is the distribution of assets different in the case of a divorce where one partner is unfaithful? Would you be willing to make a video specifically advising cheaters about navigating divorce proceedings and the unique challenges their position comes with?
Bold question! Different states view this type of behavior differently in terms of the potential impact on asset distribution. I will not be doing a video on the unique challenges presented to adulterers in a divorce situation. That would giving strategic legal advice which is not permitted by mediators. Ask a litigation attorney. I hope your unique position with no regrets gets you to a happier place than your current marriage.
If a woman files for divorce or fails her marriage without the fault of the man, she should get nothing A man’s job in a marriage is to provide, protect and take care of the woman, if he doesn’t then that is the only way women should be able to have the man’s assets after a divorce. Women use marriage as a career and divorce as retirement. If women use a man’s love as a means to wealth then she should be punished, simple, no money for her. A woman swears love under oath during a marriage ceremony, how can violating that oath not be punishable?
Many people feel the way you to. It is not the way the law works, though. You have provided an intersting quote: "Women use marriage as a career and divorce as a retirement". Maybe you should start a podcast. This is a perspective and could start a lot of conversations. I hope you find (or that you have) a wife who is unable to provide for herself and who cannot protect herself or care for herself. Then, you can provide all of those things for her and the two of you can have a happy life together. I also would like to know: What do you consider the woman's job in a marriage?
Now I don’t know why rich people marry poor ones. Lol
Who keeps an eye on these attorneys to do their jobs
Attorneys are licensed by the State. They can lose their license if they violate their State's ethics (a written code of conduct). Attorney ethics, however, are not he same as morals. If you feel your attorney, or your spouse's attorney is not operating ethically, you can report that attorney to the State Bar Association. They hand out the license, censure attorneys (punish), and take away licenses. Also, judges are supposed to keep in attorneys in line; but only when they are actually in court. Just like with doctors, everyone has to be their own advocate. If you feel your attorneys is behaving badly, fire him or her. If you feel your spouse's attorney is behaving badly, let your attorney know. If you feel everything is jerking around, go to mediation.
why i keep all my money and assets overseas. you never know what crazy or gold digger you'll meet🙄
GET A PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT! Boom solved!
Hi Tom. Prenups can work great if there is full disclosure of all assets and debts prior to signing. Also, there needs to be a generous amount of time between the signing of the prenup and the wedding (to avoid running into a contractual disputes related to duress and/or coercion). Another handy tool, if you go into a marriage with significant assets, is to keep them segregated. Never commingle them with your spouses assets or the assets that are acquired during the marriage. However, if you spend your marriage protecting your money, you might not have such a great marriage. I think, if you are really worried about your spouse running away with your cash, that might not be the right spouse for you (even though I did this very thing in my second marriage --- which ended in divorce!)
@@rgraine1196 I agree… prenuptial agreement is what me and my wife completed. Spent a couple months drafting it and when ready and completely agreed on every element we notarized before getting married. We included a statement about coercion, intoxication and a few others to ensure the courts can’t determine the agreement null.
@@twoothemoon Sounds lie you are in top of what you need to be on top of.
What if the husband started liquidating asserts like his IRA, his insurances and even secretly withdrawing 😊money from joint accounts when he suspected the wife maybe planning a divorce , how will that affect the division of assets all acquired during the marriage? Also the husband cheated on the wife so many times after 57 years of marriage.
By Amelia
It is possible, when money disappears in a divorce situation, that the other spouse will receive a greater portion of the assets that are left. Also, the spouse who took the money may need to pay the other spouse over time (payments). If you end up in court, all of this will need to be proved. You will probably need an expert witness to help you with this. That type of professional is called a "forensic accountant". They can trace the money and see where it went (usually). The cheating may also be taken in account; but it does not usually amount to a whole lot in terms of its effect on the distribution of assets.
Madam, how can i contact you..? I want advise in divorce mediation... Pls give contact details
Hi Marry's Kitchen - Thanks for reaching out. If you are in Virginia, just google my firm: Graine Mediation. If you are not in Virginia, I cannot mediate your case.
@@robin-personal2039 ok. Thank you.. I am not in Virginia
@@robin-personal2039 hello how are you ???