OP Realized She Didn't Like Motherhood After Having Three Children, So She Abandoned Them and Div...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ส.ค. 2024
- 00:00 1st story:
I ran away Christmas morning (u/Crowninggoh in r/regretfulparents)
11:12 2nd story:
My spouse came out to me as asexual a few months ago. Tomorrow I am handing them divorce papers. They are going to be devastated (u/Cold-Cake-8698 in r/offmychest & r/cats)
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When a guy abandons his family, he's a lowlife, but when a woman leaves, she's a queen. You can't be a queen without a throne.
thats why shes a deadbeat mom at best
Realizes she doesn't want another kid......
Has two more.
Does she not have a mind of her own?
Wonder if down the line she gets married again then has another kid.
But one thing is that her kids will resent her later in life.
And she will be alone.
Hope she doesn't regret it.
She was hoping another kid would fix it, and make her a “normal mother”…she tried to fake it until she felt something and that something never came. her husband and in-laws are also very old school so that probably has something to do with it and they wouldn’t let her get mental health counseling…. So the only way to get help for herself and save her self and those children was to leave… Some reason I have a feeling these people are Asian sorry not sorry
My mother dipped too - I knew kids weren’t for me so I did the smart thing and chose to not have any
Is that self hate/blame you carried into adulthood the reason you dislike the idea of children lol I’m just yappin.
No worries
I look at the cesspool of 2 walking gametes that are people and think.
Maybe not having kids is a good thing after all
@@cloudyboy1756 is that hate? Or simply being realistic?
@@cloudyboy1756 I had to take care of my 6 youngest siblings and experienced motherhood with that from birth to adulthood as the youngest 3 were born when I was 13 and 14 years old. I know what it takes and have zero desire to take care of them
ST1
“I’m a great mother, proceeds to say she then hates her kids just because the youngest opened the presents and she drove away for a bit.”
There were other ways of dealing with this, how can anyone defend what op did is beyond me.
She’s the type to come back when the kid/kids are doing well, they win awards, they graduate, they get an amazing job that pays well, they get a promotion at work, and then try to claim that she was instrumental in their achievements, that she deserves to be applauded etc.
She’ll come back and complain that the kids never invited her to their weddings, and never told her they were having their own kids and that as their mother she has the right to see her grand babies.
lmao op is so lame nobody gon watch after her when shes old the kids aint ask to be in the world and she said she hated motherhood so she had 2 more??!!?!?!
Story 1: So let me get this straight. She regretted having one kid, but then had two more because she thought it would fix things, let it fester for years, and then went and nuked her family and her kids' lives. PPD at its finest, from the looks of it. At least at first.
I get how tough depression can be. But that's something you work on, not let fester until you can't handle it anymore. She went straight to family therapy. That was the wrong move. She should've had IC first to see what the problem was, THEN family therapy, if necessary. And the part about the husband not believing in mental health treatments? You don't need anyone's permission to seek help, you know?
I predict a future post about how her kids don't love her and she's miserable. Or about how she has a do-over family and her first kids resent her.
If the people around you are tearing you down on top of PPD what do you want her to do
@@diivaiinthehouse1 Be an adult? Seek help? SPEAK FFS? You don't need anyone's permission to seek help. "I thought having another one would fix things" is one of the stupidest arguments ever. And people are congratulating her for destroying her family? Reverse the genders? Double standards much?
@@diivaiinthehouse1 Keep going from thread to thread trying to defend a deadbeat parent.
That makes you look oh so good...
This is the classic definition of a dead beat mother. Selfish. I hope she doesn't come back later in life wanting to be part of those kids life
@@diivaiinthehouse1they literally weren't
Story 1: You are NOT a victim. All these were YOUR choices and you are NEVER a victim of your own choices.
It is absolutely disgusting how happy redditors get to see a dead beat mother.
Bet money when she sees a Facebook post of the husband with a woman, and the kids are calling her mom, she will ready to be a mother again.
I’ll bet even more that she has ppd and with no help
She’s literally being beaten
@@diivaiinthehouse1no she didn't
@@diivaiinthehouse1 Stop making stuff up... We can all see the video you know? We can all see you are lying to random strangers online...
“As women, we are born in pain and carry that pain throughout our whole lives.”
Oh, miss me with that bullshit. _Everyone_ is born in pain, and with few exceptions, life is hard for _everyone._ What matters is how you handle it, and she’s handled it abysmally.
Exactly, everyone is born with misfortune, we choose how we deal with it. She's over here blaming everyone, but herself
,,I'm a great mother"
Proceeds to explain how she is a horrible mother.
Ummm, how can OP say she isn't a bad mother but say she didn't love her children and said she hated her children? That makes you a bad mother on the spot
It does but i think she meant she did everything for them and made sure not to show them how much she hate well motherhood. Alot of parents dislike their kids and parenthood
First story. Op, you are not at all a victim. You had child, did not like it. And had another. You had three and get mad at the youngest for normal behavior for a child that young. and yes, YOU are the one who needs therapy. Your husband was correct.
And then you divorce and abandon the children. Leaving them without a mother? I pray for the kids and husband.
yeah no, she was a victim considering (if it's true) she was treated like trash, while what she did was bad, doesn't change that she is somewhat of a victim
@@engiturtle65 Defending someone who abandoned her kids 💀
@@engiturtle65 Yeah but she has a mind of her own. I appreciate your reply (seriously Im lonely) but I think she is not much of a victim honestly.
@@EmilyWalcerscreations which is not what im inplying, but id what she's saying is true then she literally was abused by her husband
@@engiturtle65 she willingly chose to bring three lives into this cold and cruel world and rejected all responsibility for it. That man and his entire family could have been beating her up every night and still with that it would be wrong of her to just leave the kids. Of course, it's not right for such an unstable and resentful excuse of a person to stay near them either. She already crushed and burned all ways out other than getting her brain fixed and try behaving like an adult.
*Children are not tools to fix marital problems*
OP sounds like a people pleaser, unable to advocate for herself, a trait which I'm guessing stems from a troubled childhood and external pressures. That being said, once she realised that she didn't like being a mother, that was the time to press the issue. Reddit tends to infantilise women in these situations, treat them as if they have no agency. OP *chose* to have her first child, *chose* to continue having children, and is now choosing to abandon her children. These were bad decisions, but her decisions all the same. She needs to own her shit.
true, however she was still treated really fucking badly according to her own post
She was in an abusive relationship tho and he did hit her.
There are women out there that can't have children but want them (like me), and those who don't deserve children, like this woman and many others who abuse them.
did she really say that she was a great mother?, lol great mothers dont up and leave their families.
OP is such a horrible person wtf...
PPD is very real and she should have gotten help when the first kid was born
@@unbidweevil25if only she had support from her husband
Wtf is with that first story. It it was a man not wanting to be w father he would be blasted. Yet everyone congratulated her for abandoning her children who will never have a mother. It’s just sick in all honesty. Although not ideal at least she could have got weekend custody so the kids could have a bit or a mother figure in their life.
Just admit shes a deadbeat mom. The majority of it came from other's dont make me happy which means she has never developed a cyclical love relationship in her life.
She should pay Child support
9:51
Assuming Spain is where this took place, I'll be looking at child support laws in Spain to see what she'll have to do. Be back soon.
Edit: In Spain, the expected cost for child support would be around 150 to 200 euros per month, per child. (162 to 216 dollars)
Or around 450 to 600 euros (486 to 648 dollars) per month total since she had 3 kids.
The total she'd have to pay for all three kids would be around the average an American would need to pay, per child.
@@mill2712its not spain she said shes going to spain to see a friend.
@@Kris-wo4pj
You're right. My error.
OP: *realizes she is not fitt to be a mother
Also OP: *has 2 more kids*
SMH.
OP in story 1 is going to regret her choices when she sees her husband with a new wife ( she'll most likely be an upgrade from OP), and she'll lose her crap when they see how much "her" kids love their new stepmom and how much stepmom loves the kids in return.
She was clearly egged on by feminists in the comments ensuring she was within her rights to abandon her kids. Misery loves company
i really want to have a word with OP from 1st story with my fists and those redditors who were like "omg queen youre suffering, leave those deadweights behind and go live free"
Couldn’t have said it better, as it takes a real piece of sh*t to not take one ounce of responsibility in this whole matter and she instead shifts the blame onto her husband for “making” her have kids.
It is a double standard. If it was a man, they would be blasted in the comments.
Those same people will call OP evil and disgusting once the kids are older and post how she abandoned them. It's the Reddit double standard and hypocrisy at it's finest.
She was already hit by her ex husband.
If it was a man you'd be cheering him on and bitching about him being "baby trapped"@@kiwi4035
Then why have kids in the first place like no one was forcing you and if so you should have just left at the word children
@@steve31lives68 yea but is still sad how it played out
Society, culture, and pressure to fulfill gender roles. I can't tell you how many women are asked, "When are you going to start a family?" Girls are groomed in childhood to want a husband and kids. Childfree women are looked down on and talked about. Made to feel like failures.
Easy to blame others , but when you are put on the spot well see how you react
@@jpv4253 what an hollow comment.
@@VRDejaVu Life is a proability , no one knows what events will happen
To be a good mother, you need actually like your kids first.
I'm calling it right now. Those same people saying how proud they are for OOP and that she's doing the right thing will vilify her and call her an evil, cruel mother once her kids are older and post on here how she abandoned them when they were little.
Story one -lady you are a monster imo
Story two- sue them for injuring an innocent cat please!
Horrible mother
Horrible father
@@diivaiinthehouse1she is a horrible mother
@@diivaiinthehouse1 This is the 8th comment i see from you here defending a deadbeat mother... do you see yourself in her or something?
kitty story, OP YES, DO VISIT KITTY WHILE SHE RECOVERS!, she will associate you with comfort, itll build a bond between you, and make her time in recovery less stressful and scary for her, helping her heal better.
Toon in next time on, "im old now, and my kids won't take care of me. BuT Im THeIr MoTHeR! Waaaahh."
The neglectful parents subreddit. I forgot that one existed. I'm not shocked that the clowns on that subreddit cheered her for that one.
Woah. Hate? Yeah, leave! Not for your sake, for the children's. Nothing's worse than having someone you love unconditionally saying to you that they hate you.
Lady, you're not a bit selfish. You're a big selfish. Everything is I I I, me me me, angry with husband and family for giving children attention. Using the internet as an excuse to divorce is a major cop out.
A selfish person like that who admitted to hating her children will embellish any stop to make themselves look like the victim.
If he's such an abusive person, why leave the children there.
I can't get over how she said she hates her children. That just rubs me the wrong way.
Burn that bridge for everyone's sake and don't look back... EVER!
yes, this.
s1- OP comes back ten years later - Why don't my children talk to me? They don't include me in any of their big milestones.
She just abandonned her kid, so she just could live her life, thinking that they will be safe and loved by her ex and his family. How does she knows, since from what she wrote the ex got violent or did something disturbing when she talked about therapy. She just left her kid in an unsure environment. Their lifestyle shifted and she certainly don´t know if this was for the better since she was only focused on leaving.
S1: I do feel like OP did one good thing with leaving, she won't be one of those mothers who murders their children. Because the longer I listened, the more I worried that it would end with someone having found her reddit and posting for her. Just the feeling I get when I listen to these stories about burnt out parents starting to hate their kids.
Exactly my thoughts. Everyone would rather chain a woman to a situation and be “shocked” something psychotic happens. Like would you rather she drowns her kids in the bathtub like that chick in Texas???
Story 1: While I’m glad OP got away from her husband and that toxic culture/environment, that doesn’t excuse her being an awful parent.
Even with pressure, she had those children. Being upset that the children you chose to have are being children and require more attention than you is wild ngl.
I ultimately think OP would’ve been worse if she stayed. However, abandoning them? That’s so cruel in a way I can’t even fathom. If the husband was that quick to degrade her, I can only imagine the potential damage he may cause the kids after she left ‘because of them’.
Reddit cheering this doesn’t surprise me.
I am in no way surprised that you in your comment where you label the husband "Toxic" and pay a minute amount of criticism of her being an absolutely abhorrent person and horrendous parent you then immediately then tried to use this to then try and blast the husband while ignoring that she most likely tried to twist the truth to paint everyone but her in a worse light yet pumped up her self to look better. In her own retelling she is a massive piece of shit yet very conveniently presents herself as this brave individual whose overcoming all this adversity while demonizing everyone from her kids to her husband and all her friends and family as she spews this feminist horse shit >_>
"My husband spends time with the kids instead of me..."
Yeah like a man should.
Story1 is literally op showing how unbelievably selfish she is, while trying to explain to us how much of a victim she is🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
S1: Sounds like a late-blooming feminist who made a series of bad decisions.
I haven't even reached the 5 min mark and can already say this woman sucks
1st story op is a monster.
Story 1 - What the hell is going on with redditors that they would encourage this behavior?
I feel like the violent abusive ex in the second story is a man lmaooooo
Story 1: The kids have no fault, it was your decision to have them. And also don't be mad if they won't like to have you in their lifes, you wasn't happy but these kids had nothing to do with that, they didn't chose anything, they never asked to be born, you had them because you chose. Couldn't you at least keep a little bit of contact with them? I hope you at least make some funds for their college, as this is at least what you could do after you left them behind.
Story 2: Seriously, i would be so scared and uncomfortable if i was OP, as OP accepted the fact that their ex is assexual, but OP didn't want to have a relationship this way. The ex is crazy, the cat didn't deserve what happened and this makes ne really sad. I think OP's ex was desperate and didn't want the relationship to end not because they love OP, but because of what OP can provide them. So i don't feel really bad for the ex, and after what they did to the cat i even despise them, i don't like when peoples harm animals.
My husband and I call each of our cats “My cat” and “His cat” bc he had his cat since he was 12 and I had mine since before he moved in. His cat was more like my cat while she lived with me.
Story 1: it’s obvious the woman is suffering from postpartum depression & she needs to seek help ASAP. Abandoning her kids isn’t gonna make the postpartum just go away. People need to understand that when some women get postpartum depression, most of the time, they want nothing to do with the kid(s) & they tend to have a distain towards them (& end up loathing them). It has nothing to do with the kid(s) or liking motherhood, but rather it’s the postpartum that makes them want to abandon them, or even end up, m*rdering them. Postpartum depression is a serious thing that no one really seems to acknowledge, but it’s an actual thing. Women shouldn’t feel shameful for having postpartum depression & if you feel like you have it, you need to seek help. There’s no shame in that. Her leaving is the best thing she could’ve done for her mental health whether people want to acknowledge that or not. She technically didn’t abandon the kids seeing as she is able to see them once a month, which is good enough for her. Yeah, she’s the one who decided to give birth to 3 kids, but at least she’s taking steps to make sure they’re loved & care for by someone.
S1 OP is garbage. Sounds like that woman who abandoned her husband to find herself and assumed her husband would be waiting for her when she got back.
Story 1: So after reading the comments, OP is a trashy mother but it seemingly isn't her fault. She's been feeling unappreciated in her family and at the end there was implied to be abused by her husband (maybe he hit her, maybe he called her names, who knows). Whatever the case, she is definitely a bad mother, and should take her kids with her rather than leaving them with her husband.
Yeah, because if you hated having one kid, the perfect response is to have two more. 🙄🙄
Such a queen move to abandon your kids. /s If OP was a man, well...we all know how that'd play out. F double standards.
Wait until she needs help later on and goes crawling back to her kids. They'll abandon her like she abandoned them, and rightfully so. Such a queen.
don't have more kids then???
op is stupid. give the kids the already opened presents and talk to the youngest later, maybe no desert for a week or something like that.
like not that the husband is good either but like. what.
don't lie??? don't say 'yah babe I will stay with you' then go behind their back and start a divorce
uhhhh I think we skipped a lot of context? whys the cat injured? wdym charges??? did I just not hear it somehow?
why'd the stbx fuckin kill the plant? that's mean. but okay yah we did skip context.
glad the cat is doing better tho
Story 2: NTA, sexual compatibility is important to.
Kitty no.
S1: with the mention of the husband doing something horrible to her (hitting her? SA?), and the offhand comment at the end about her visiting a friend she was never *allowed* to see, I definitely believe he was severely isolating her and/or mentally abusing her. Good on her for leaving.
Really? Good on her for abandoning her kids? And with an abuser?
@@Tuco_Salamanca3this, if the husband is abusive to her, he’s most likely going to be abusive to the kids.
you are a bad mother
5:58 IS THIS NOT HER DOING EVERYTHING IN HER POWER TO GET HELP. Sounds like she was hit. Now please tell me we don’t except mother to be perfect.
"Sounds like she was hit." stop making stuff up to justify your misandry. Disgusting...
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
So you mean to tell me....OP didn't have a conversation before bringing kids into the world? That would saved a lot of time and heartbreak. (Sighs) Modern feminism at it's finest.
She definitely was an idiot for not talking about it first but how is that modern feminism? Genuine question not trying to be attacking
@@lunaeclipse7717 It is an accountability issue. 3rd wave feminism's flag is painted with a complete lack of accountability for women.
@@lunaeclipse7717Modern day feminism teaches women to forsake family to "live their best life" while doing everything in their power to avoid accountability & responsibility by blaming everything on men.
@@lunaeclipse7717 according to modern feminism ideas the woman must put herself first in everything, even in the expense of motherhood (like OP).
@@Negrocortador but if a man did it what it would be?
Why do people support thosw who "come out" . Why are you supporting a behaviour that is rooted in solipsism .
Hell this channel is filled with stories of how these individuals are the definition of self centrism.
Am i only one that feels pity for her?
more than likely.. lol
I feel bad for her, she still pathetic tough
yes.
Yes, woman in story 1 is a total POS
yeah.
S1: wow the people in the comment section here just blaming OP, do they all prefer the kids to be resented by their mother for the rest of their lives or be free and find another motherly figure? And did they not listen to the part where how the OP's husband did not even love OP and basically sprung all the house work on her and how he manipulated her to have 2 more kids and how abusive he was??
Nobody is voting for OP to be in her married life or being a mother, but also nobody forced her to be a mother for 3 children in the first place
So, instead, you’re happy she abandoned them with an abuser?
So apparently you think defending a woman who was planning to murder her children is a good thing, speaks volumes about you and I hope you don’t mind serving prison time for assisting in a premeditated murder.
But where was the abuse?
...Get a man and have kids even if you (as woman) don't won't to or else...The OP in the story probably had this told to her from an early age.
Doesn’t excuse her trying to plan a murder on her children, you can tell it to the judge.
Story 1 is just incompatibility at its finest. She didn't want kids, and she was never cut out to be a mother emotionally at that stage in her life; she was an emotional person who required a spouse with emotional intelligence to be able to address things. Married a "traditional" man who clearly had little emotional intelligence, wanted lots of kids, wasn't the type to try and address problems by talking it out, and was dismissive of things that didn't align with his individual views. All compounded by the fact that she clearly lives in a patriarchal country, given the views that more children are better and about women being the homemakers & glue that holds a family together. It is pretty sad that she never got the help she needed. Still, it's even more unfortunate that she never got the chance to become an adult emotionally because every problem in this story revolves around the fact that, as an individual, she was too weak-minded and spineless to get herself the help she needed or to leave that relationship the moment all that incompatibility started showing it's head. At the end of it all, she is a deadbeat mother; however, she is the type of deadbeat that the children are better off not having in their lives; given her emotional state, however, the children are really and truly no better off with a father that is capable of hitting his wife in anger. Also, let's be honest....it is pretty darn clear that that marriage was very toxic with the way that the husband reacted to being told No by op, and given when u combine the fact he actually managed to miss all the signs over the years that Op is clearly not a good mother and pushed for more children....well the situation is just messed up all around. The only victims here are the children.
S2: Sounds like a lesbian drama in Texas.
Do you guys relish that op couldnt win the legal battle even if she wanted to. Also I think the husband physically abused her.shes seeing them once a month
I feel for Op it sounds like she had PPD as well as a non supportive relationship. The husband wanted kids and he was going to have them as much as the comment want to put the blame on OP being pressured by family is real. I’ll say this til I’m blue in the faces.
WOMEN AND MOTHERS ARE EXPECTED TO BE PERFECT AND KNOW ALL ANYTHING LESS IS CONSIDER ABUSE.
She asked for help but her husband told her no.
shs CHOSE to have those kids. if she didn't want kids STOP GAVIN THEM.
crazy how people aren't "forcing" her to go back.
op isn't a Victim. she shouldn't have had kids when she knew she wasn't fit to have them
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Yeah... Sorry, we in the developed world don't defend deadbeat parents. One day you may have the chance to visit and see for yourself. When that time arrives, i hope you have changed your disturbing ways.
@@HeoBaby24 look i don't agree with OP, but i think her relationship was abusive and when she asked her husband help, he didn't give her. If your wife have serial issue with the Kids, why did you not want to help her? She snapped at the Christmas and this needed to make him reflect. But no, he treated her worse. I think if her husband was more helpful, maybe she didn't Need to reach this point. But as i said before, for me she was in a abusive relationship.
@@Incubus_Gal okay I understand what you're saying and that the husband suck
but that's doesn't make her a victim and abandon her kids like that
Honestly I'm on opie's side in the first story
It is so obvious most of you don't live in a patriarchal society where options are very limited for women, it's also really hard having a partner who is not supportive and lastly the kids deserve parents who whole heartedly love them, opie's kids deserve a better mom than her
Edit: Alright this is badly worded as I came up with this very hungry and very sleepy. All I'm saying is piling on opie for not making different decisions is pointless and her abandoning her kids is probably the best thing for them, like I said her kids deserve a better parent
Youre a narcissist
Found the deadbeat mother's account on youtube!
🤮🤮🤮
Except she CHOSE to have 2 more kids after realizing she didn't like being a mother after the first one. I would have a lot more sympathy if she had realized after baby number 1 and bailed then.
Right why didn’t they get help when she told her husband.
dayumn...more reasons not to get married
Story 1: I think that she started to live her lifeto please others and because of this she had children without really knowing what really was her problem.
She needed to be more firm with her intention to go to family therapy because his husband pratically didn't want to and didn't help her psicologically. I think this was her error, i know of some parents that hated their kids after being born, but stayed with them with a lot of resentiment. When she snapped at the Christmas was one of the tipical flag of her hatred and the reaction of the husband and other family member didn't help. Why the husband didn't want to help her, i don't know. But at this point i don't know if she is TA for gosthing the family or did something good for gosthing them, and with this, make them happy without hatred toward them. 😅
The family didn't need therapy, she did.
@@georgeprchal3924 For? I'm not sarcastic, there are many context. Regarding the family, instead, i think the husband didn't help at all. She informed him of this issue and this situation is not therapy from One Person, but for the entire family because she needed to speak with them with someone can help. But we now know that husband was a toxic Person. He completely disregarded her problems and she didn't have someone who helped her in all the family. She was alone with her problems when others gaslight her
@@Incubus_Gal he said she key word she could go to therapy.