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'Unbelieving Mates' Dishonest Intent, Horrifying Counsel & more!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 มี.ค. 2024
- Nothing is off limits to the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses... and that includes your unbaptized mate. What does that look like for the Witness and their unknowing spouse? Both parties suffer. We take a look at decades of counsel from the 'faithful & discreet slave' that ranges from dishonest... to deadly.
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The difference between how witnesses treat those with a pre-existing "unbelieving mate", and those who choose an "unbelieving mate", led to me ceasing going to meetings.
I'm so glad you stopped going. It takes very little observation to see the difference. Horrible.
Always an awesome time when Surviving Paradise drops a video!
Agreed, love it when Stacy has a new Podcast 😊
Awww thanks Queen!!
Thanks Darth....I want to be you when I grow up my fellow Sith Lord!@@DarthMagog
Yep, all true. They convinced me to stick with an ab*sive husband, eventhough I was maintaining him, I was financialy independent, had a car and all. Just 'prayyy Jehovahhhh' and 'go in field service'. I was idiot enough to listen to them. In the end, I kicked his behind, and watchtower too, but I'll never have back 13 years of my life 🤷🏻♀️
I'm SO glad you got out of that!!! For anyone reading NEVER listen to the elders on this issue, it's dangerous and a horrible way to live your life
My mum was a JW and my dad wasn't. But he was never against it and the congregation I was in as a child was very nice to my dad and my dad was always invited to functions and he invited JWs to his etc. We were lucky as that congregation were more human than some. My dad did eventually become one. I guess all that love bombing. He told me he did it for my mum. Bless him.....
I think that speaks to how much he loved your mother and I love that! They really go after the kind men and women
@@survivingparadisepodcast agree.
My dad was studying and well liked by our congregation before he passed. I'm heartbroken that he wasn't here to meet my kids but I would also be heartbroken if he was here and shunning his offspring 😢
Stacy, as a mathematician, let me say how much I appreciated this podcast. As powerful, beautiful and wonderful as mathematics is--and I'm sorry your experiences with it have been unhappy ones--I appreciate how you highlighted the abuse of mathematics as practiced by the WTBTS. The passage you quoted from Luke 12:6, 7 is a wonderful one because it can help keep the vital science of mathematics in the proper perspective. While mathematics enabled the Universe we inhabit to be created and inhabited, it is LOVE that has sustained it. The WTBTS has forgotten this in its pursuit of power over others. The rest of us must always remember that each of us is greater than the sum of our individual parts.
Oh wow, I feel terrible! I never contemplated my mathematician friends here! LOL, forgive me! I TRULY admire people like you, I'm so terrible with numbers! I lean on people like you to keep me in line, thanks for being here!!! Your application here: amazing, spot on...it's all love!
Thank you so much for this topic as a husband whose wife is an "unbeliever", before waking up I overlooked my wife's loving qualities and just looked at the fact she's not a baptised witness which created alot of arguments etc and feeling under pressure when some days she didn't come to the meetings or assemblies and being asked "where's your wife?" During those occasions. Fast forward to waking up marrying my wife was one of the best decisions I made after feeling regrets for getting baptized. I'm so happy I woke up before having kids to experience birthdays and Christmas and not having them sit at a Kingdom Hall bring indoctrinated. I always show how much I love my non JW wife for putting up with my indoctrination cause she could of easy just walk out. Thank you for this love your podcast
Wow, thanks Jay, that is a HUGE win....and I can only imagine how much happier you and your wife are today!!!
If the unbelieving mate needs help with his fence after baptism he can go whistle! Love your demonstration of the elder talking to the guy who's just lost a kidney ... comedy gold!!!
LOL, thanks Merrill! Oh yeah, help someone with an ulterior motive......so much love right?
I knew a few, "unbelieving" husband's. They would drop their wives off at the kingdom hall and scurry off. Their work ethic and desire to earn an income superceded their love for jehovah. Besides, Sunday was time and a half pay. I learned work was an exceptable excuse for not attending meetings, and a weekend job was salvation for a lot of men. Beats sitting in a kingdom hall listening to some elder droning on some mind numbing topic.
LOL, so true......they may have stayed if they got paid to listen to mostly poor speakers!! :)
Thank you so much! I once had an “unbelieving mate”. His sisters who are JW’s urged him to study. So finally he said , I will, but first I research on the internet about JW’s. That was it. He told me “do you know what’s going on in your religion?” I didn’t want to hear it. But eventually I woke up on my own. He passed away 3 years ago, and I realized then, how much I neglected him, I worked fulltime, on my days off it was field service, meeting , study, preparation etc etc… you are so right!
Big hugs Beauty!! I'm sure you were an amazing partner, just one trapped by cult thinking. I love that he stayed with you!!
@@survivingparadisepodcast thank you. You are so kind. The last e mail he wrote from the hospital said”thanks for all you do” that gave me much comfort in my grieving and guilt process.
Going through that right now. I left faded officially the end of 2018. Same song she works nights have to sleep of course but watchtower takes the rest of the time. She would sometimes be face down on zoom sound asleep I beg her to go to bed but nope. I said God isn't going to kill you just because you're tired 😮. Drone mentality at its finest
Wow, I'm so sorry she's giving so much...you're a great person, stay the course, be patient and available.....glad you're out!!!@@blahblah2blahblah260
Wow interesting that a jw sister can save her unbelieving husband and children, even though he is the ‘head of the house’?
Wow Paula, FANTASTIC point!!! Thank you for posting this....
An elder told my wife that i was the head of the house but she was the "spiritual head" of the house
LOL, the stupidity! And he couldn't back it up with scripture....they never can
Did she have to wear a hankie on her head? 🤔🤦♀️🤣
LOL@@TallKulWmn1
My Dad was not in, but after his siblings died,, he got baptized to please my mother. He was a good JW for last 10 years of his life. Love is a funny and precious emotion, right? Ah I heard now you cannot marry a non JW or get kicked out. And JW are encourage to get divorce if one mate leaves JW...that is crazy control!! And do JW celebrate birthdays now? This cult is trying to save itself due to money coming in and members leaving trying to stop. I heard trying to convert Muslim too; they made special tract. What!!! Thank you again...your data is so good plus you make me smile.
Amazing people like your dad!!! So much sacrifice for LOVE! They don't celebrate birthdays.....yet. But I have a feeling it will soon be a 'conscience decision'.... they're giving back where they can in order to keep people
An unbelieving mate” gave me a tip that the railroad he worked for was looking for rate clerks. That resulted in a 29 year railroad career with a great retirement. I’m a big fan of unbelieving mates. My wife and I both became unbelievers aka unbelieving mates of each other in 1999 and don’t think we’re so bad.
That is TRUE friendship! Love it....and thank goodness you're both now OUT!
Yet another gem exposed!!! Thank you Stacey 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you!!!
Always blowing watchtower out of the water. Thanks again for what you do and for the laughs
:) ....I laugh or I'll cry, thank you!!!
Another great discussion, Stacy! I can relate to just about everything that you discussed in this particular podcast! And then you cracked me up with” teaching a monkey Hebrew”that was epic!
LOL, I'm crazy.....thanks for getting it!!! :)
Powerful! Outstanding material as always. It's definitely triggering but needed. The experiences left me speechless and angry. I wonder if the Borg could be sued for encouraging members to stay in abusing relationships? Extremely powerful episode... thank you!
Thank you!!! I appreciate your thoughts! I'm truly blown away that this stuff is still accessible to people. They're glorifying violence and abuse ...and mostly toward women. Shocking!!
Big Hugs Stacey !
Big hugs back Digi!
As a worldly spouse, I really appreciate this video...
Thank you so much for being here!!!
This hit home. I grew up in a divided household, with my mom a witness and my dad an "unbelieving mate." It's an emotional tug of war all the time, on some level. The compromises that aren't really compromises, when the JW-side can't give in, without being in violation of "God's rules" and the nonJW side just going without. My dad's side of the family regarded mom and me a bit weird. Though I only knew of that through my mom telling me -- they didn't let it show to me, to their credit.
I seem to remember, when I was quite little, dad would sometimes hang with some of the brothers from the congregation. There was a common interest in nature photography there. But then after a while it just... stopped. I suspect he'd been included with hopes of 'reaching his heart' and when it became clear that it wasn't going to happen... 🤷♀
I'm grateful that I grew up with my dad's nonJW influence. I had at least SOME kind of "me" outside of the JW-me. The flipside of it is that I grew up feeling like I was split straight down the middle. Not fitting in either world.
You're NOT alone....so many people with a very similar story...and the scars!
I went to pioneer school lost my job when l arrived back home from it (because l took the time off for it) got disfellowshiped met my now husband 3 days latter all in under 3 months. Got reinstated after 1 year because my husband said "you seem depressed you should go back to being witness" Never did l want him to become a witness because l knew he would get disfellowshiped because he liked to smoke and loved horse races. I have been married 40 years and you are right he had to put up with lots of things normal husbands don't like me going to meetings not doing celebrations I feel l am a pretty balanced human though because lve seen both sides of things and was pretty lenient when it came to birthdays l figured l could give the kids presents but not a party. I never raised the kids as witnesses mostly because l never wanted them to go through being disfellowshiped. Since lve been mentally out lm not so down on myself and l have much more respect for my husband (as a witness woman l think its been ingrained into you that you are better than your non believing husband)
What a fantastic, loving man!!!! I love a good love story and here it is! He loved YOU and was willing to make insane sacrifices to be with you. You're a lucky lady Christine!!!!
Thought provoking video. And you said you love me, cos I'm bald, and that made my day 😅
LOL, thanks my friend....love my bald friends.....if it's any consolation, my hair is completely white and started that way just after 30....pick our poison, right? LOL
@@survivingparadisepodcast Hahaha, we've all got our upright stakes to bear 🤣
Hi Stacey, No1 fan here from the other side of the pond. Just thought I'd write you to say I've managed to fade over the last two years without any real consequences. Also I've reconnected with my brother who was df about 8 years ago. I was amazed that he still believed the crap the cult spewed out! Sent him a link to your podcast to listen to. Speaking to him the other day, he was so glad he listened and couldn't believe he lived in fear for so many years! So I just want to say thank you, not only for making Monday mornings something to look forward to, but for opening his eyes to their BS.
Hi Paul!!! WOW!!! I couldn't be happier for you and your brother!!! Thank you so much, it's these types of stories that mean a lot to me!!! I love it!!!!
53:01 hit me hard. My mom chose the organisation over our dad- the sole breadwinner and non-narcissistic parent.
These Governing Body members need to swap places with those living in fear of being murdered. How long would they last? Having said that. What hind of a mindless woman allows herself and her children go through this horror, just because the GB says so. Why do that to your children through their formative years. I was trapped in a situation like that, it was bad. I ended up moving to another State, I told no one except my mother.
I have 2 now grown sons now, both are in loving relationships. Goodness only knows what they would be like if i had of stayed, we could be dead, or they might have copied a monster.
I'm VERY happy to read that you left and protected you and your sons! Many women feel trapped inside JWs. They've been fed this counsel for years....and it's deadly!!!
Life totally sucks. Almost live in a tune out and shut down state. Before- trust in Jehovah and the organization. The statement is made that we must take on the responsibility of moving forward and redefining our lives. But know matter how I look at it or what effort I think I can make, there is no way to make the changes necessary. This fear and recognition is greater than the idea we had about Armageddon.
Big hugs my friend....life is beautiful and there are zillions of beautiful people. Please take care of yourself. Consider some therapy and make time EVERY day to do something you enjoy. That joy we had in childhood is something we need to nurture throughout every hour of the day.....give yourself time and be patient with yourself as you would a child!
@@survivingparadisepodcast Thanks
Then the kingdom of heaven will be like this. Ten bridesmaids took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. When the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them; but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. As the bridegroom was DELAYED, all of them became drowsy and slept. But at MIDNIGHT there was a shout, LOOK, HERE IS THE BRIDEGROOM ! COME OUT TO MEET HIM ! Then all those bridesmaids got up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish said to the wise, Give us some of your oil for our lamps are going out. But the wise replied, NO ! there will not be enough for you and us; you had better go to the dealers and buy some for yourselves.
And while they went to buy it,
THE BRIDEGROOM CAME,
And those who were READY
Went with Him into the wedding banquet : AND THE DOOR WAS SHUT.
Later, the other bridesmaids came also, saying, LORD , LORD
OPEN TO US !
But He replied, TRULY I TELL YOU,
I DO NOT KNOW YOU !!
JESUS
The DOOR of SALVATION
Will BE SHUT
At THE COMING OF THE LORD.
Don't be LEFT BEHIND at
THE RAPTURE OF THE SAINTS
When They GO ASCENDING in
To THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN .
1 Thessalonians 4. 17 .
My grandpa isn't a witness, it breaks my heart to know what he has put up with the last 50+ years.. I could've been celebrating holidays with him all along..😢🤬
SOooooo sorry you've been through this!
In a world where faith is a fortress,
Where numbers are the measure of worth,
There exists a group, silent and voiceless,
Unbelieving mates, scattered across the earth.
Raised in the light of the Witness,
In a paradise, so they claim,
Yet for those who stand on the outskirts,
Life is a different game.
A label, a tag, an outsider,
In a community bound by belief,
The pressure to convert is a constant reminder,
Of a love that comes with grief.
They navigate a path of solitude,
In the shadow of the faithful's glow,
Their identity, constantly misconstrued,
In a world they're yet to know.
Yet, they stand strong, resilient,
In the face of subtle disdain,
Their journey, though silent, is brilliant,
A testament to enduring the strain.
So here's to the unbelieving mates,
Who live in the margins, yet thrive,
In a world that often alienates,
They find the strength to survive.
I am horrible at math too. If you ask me a math question, I feel like I’m going to faint.
I'm so bad Debra....glad I'm not alone ;)
AWESOME VIEWPOINTS!!!!
Thank you!!
Awwww Yeeaaahhh my guy Stacy let's do this 🎉🎉🎉
Thanks Munch!!
Hi Stacey! Great Monday to You!
Thanks Michelle!!
I love when you say, “Quote …”
Thanks! I'm just a guy.... need to land that point
Definitions to help navigate through this video:
*"unbelieving mate":* a person that has eyes, ears and a functioning brain.
*"adventure":* 1. Receiving a good old fashioned ass-whoopin' for Watchtower.
2. _"Hit me again, Ike, and put some steak on it."_
3. Totally worth it if seven people eventually get suckered into a
Doomsday cult.
*"lost consciousness":* _see_ baptized Jehovah's Witness.
*"spiritual food":* empty calories
*"Elder":* _see_ angry, gun-toting police officer that joins a cult and gets a title.
*"experience":* a fictional story created by a prisoner in the Watchtower Writing Dept. counting the days until their release.
*"fanatical, weird religion":* a totally accurate assessment, the only true statement in the story.
I LOVE THIS!!!! Haha, I want to cut an paste this for a post.....well done!!!
👋true, true, true!!!🙄 Thanks, Stacey!❤️👍
Thanks DY!!!
Hello 👋
hey Randy!
Stacy: "I suck at math."
Don't fret, Stacy. WT sucks even more at math. Examples,
Odds that any of us have of even being born: 1 in 400 trillion
Odds that WT is "God's organization": also 1 in 400 trillion
Odds that God has an organization: 1 in a bajillion gazillion
1914 + 3.5 years = we're the only true religion.
607 + 2,520 = yet another date Armageddon didn't happen
1,260 x 2 = bullsh*t
9 GB members x 1 rational thought = 0
Did you forget to add: "Being free . . . priceless. ?" :)
LOL, you're on fire today!!!! HILARIOUSLY TRUE!!!!!
TRUTH!!@@evilbuddha7819
Bout time man 😂😂😂😂😂
I'm dragging ass! :)
@@survivingparadisepodcast 😂😂😂
I might add that they even enjoy reporting on these domestic violence situations as a warning to women of what happens when you marry out aka well deserved! absolutely no compassion! down right sadistic bordering psychopathy!
Disgusting in SO many ways!!!! And it's passed off as 'food' to JWs!!!
30:01 Wow! An adventure, huh? It's extreme physical and emotional abuse; not a fucking hike up the mountains. Jesus wept!
It's absolutely INCREDIBLE that they called that 'an adventure'......WHAT?????
I hate math too Stacey. 🤮
Calculators on cell phones is the best thing ever
LOL, if you only knew how much I used me phone calculator!
@@survivingparadisepodcast same! my brain refuses to math the most simple calculations. I think about all those times as a kid (80s-90s) when my math teachers would tell me I won’t always have a calculator on me …. *holds up cell phone and laughs hysterically 😂
Glad I'm not alone!!! @@pearlytiger564
I was the unbelieving mate even though I was born and raised a JW. I was married at age 16 to a JW guy. Funny thing is he didn't try to make me believe any of it. I guess if my parents and the congregation couldn't get me to believe it for the first 16 years of my life then he had no points to add that could sway me. If he believed any of it himself then why did he not even try to come up with a great point? 🤷
WOW, very interesting perspective!! Isn't it something? You were the most important person in the world to him, but he wasn't trying to save your life daily??? The irony!!!
This apocalyptic cult is now running out of steam. The more time passes, the more this will become obvious to everyone. I'm not even talking about the date of 1914 which will itself disintegrate over time, but I want to talk about the last "lights" supposed to cover the old "lights".
The “light” regarding Joel’s prophecy is edifying. This is not a question of an interpretative refinement like a growing “light” which would further support a teaching by making it more and more clear. No, here it is rather a question of abandoning one “light” in favor of another diametrically opposed to the previous one.
The good locusts now become the bad locusts. The only argument put forward by the Watchtower for changing the "light" can be summed up in a single sentence: "However, when we examine the prophecy in its context, we see that it must be understood in another way" (Watchtower 14 April 2020 paragraph 4).
For decades under the cover of holy spirit the WT will have taught a false teaching by supporting it with various biblical texts and plethora of explanations as for each new "light".
Since 2020, the Watchtower has affirmed that this text MUST now be understood in another way. The Watchtower does not leave the followers the choice of conscience, it expects them to absorb this new “food” as they had absorbed the previous one. The follower is not there for thought, but to obey and swallow the new "lights" without blinking.
A JW who in the 1980s would have dared to put Joel's text in context would have been considered an apostate towards the Watchtower.
As time passes all these "lights" which were perfectly supported by biblical texts will end up over time with tarnish and disappear in favor of a new “light” just as accompanied by biblical texts.
The latest “light” to undergo a complete turnaround is found in the May 2024 Watchtower study article #19.
Paragraph 3: "In the past we said that after the great tribulation began, no one would be able to stand for Jehovah and thus survive Armageddon. We came to this conclusion because we believed that the Flood was a prophetic type.”
Here of course the WT will not dwell on all the Biblical texts presented at the time on which it relied to support this “light”.
Paragraph 4: "But is the Flood really a prophetic type? The answer is no. Why? Because there is nothing in the Bible that indicates that is the case."
No church makes the slightest prophetic connection between the Flood and the end times. The WT and a few other Christian sects (Mormonism, Davidians, Chtundists, international churches of Christ, etc.) are the only ones to have dared to teach an idea that is not found in the Bible.
This watchtower study was the first meeting l zoomed into l hadn't been to a regular meeting for a few years only memorials and conventions l thought that since l was home because of pandemic l might as well do a meeting (l have worked weekends for years) So the main talk was blood fractions l was pretty horrified listening to that change they had made. Then by the time they got thur this watchtower study l basically went from POMI to POMO.
yes it only took that 1 meeting to completely change my view of the org
@@Christine-we8np You were faster than Flash. Me, I was as "fast" as a snail. It took me 2 years to be completely weaned from this slavery.
I delivered my letter in April 2019. My act was a political act. I am very proud of my decision. My positivity and joy that followed this withdrawal destabilized those around me. My joyful emancipation only made their subjugation more evident. I showed my family that fear ossifies thinking and stifles true personality. This family electroshock helped save my two darling children. My wife will follow soon. My withdrawal must become an opportunity for everyone around me and not a shame.
I regularly wear my blue EXJW badge. All people who know these four letters have the opportunity to approach me to speak to me freely without the fear of being judged. I have noticed that for 3 years more and more JW PIMOs have approached me on public roads. They have a great need to talk about what they experience on a daily basis. My local activism (France) is a way for me to support global activism.
*"the date of 1914 which will itself disintegrate over time"*
1914 died years ago. WT just can't bring itself to bury the body.
Fantastic thoughts Phil!! They slip in 'new light' where they can, then point at it later, with many JWs not realizing it because they are checked out at the WT Study. NOTHING in the Bible has anything to do with them or the 21st century. It's insane and it doesn't work on the younger generations anymore. The Flood is one of my favorite subjects with JWs....comically bad and easy to trace throughout history and cultures.
I love that you woke up.....and Blood......ugh, where do we begin.....they've murdered people with a completely fabricated teaching.@@Christine-we8np
Great podcast, per usual.
Unfortunately, I was on a Body w/ a brother who had PTSD from handling any marital “Shepherding” Calls. Why? He expressed to me he was responsible for a sister getting m*rdered. As she came to the brothers, seeking counsel about possibly separating from her abusive husband, he said they asked her was there anything she could do better to win him over? He said they asked is she making his headship more difficult by not acquiescing to what he wants? Then they shared 1 Pet. 3:1-2, & began to share articles that u highlighted.
2 weeks later, tragedy took place. The brother told me from that point on, he didn’t feel qualified to handle any marital matters.
OMG!!!! My friend, I'm SO sorry.....I can't imagine what that poor man lives with!!! Counsel from a bunch of guys no one will ever meet.....changing a family for the worst!! I got goosebumps reading this post because I was that brother.......by far, my most time consuming efforts as an elder was endless, ENDLESS shepherding calls for unhappy marriages!!! It wrecked me....I was burned out and exhausted by the time I left!!
Same here; and quite frankly, I don’t think it made much difference in the long run. We weren’t qualified, certified counselors. Whatever we discussed helped (on the surface) for a couple of months, & 9/10 w/e issues that were prevalent came right back up.
It was exhausting & tiring, like u said. It was also invasive, as we now entered bedrooms, and intimacy. Smh
Anyone who served as an elder can relate to this grind!@@bygeorgehemayberite8385
jw's were just at my door yesterday. Probably marked me on a slip hbh. 😂 Trying to recruit me once again, yet I'm not having it!
I'm so grateful you know this..... they' then went on a coffee break. LOL
@@survivingparadisepodcast 😂
We went on Bagel breaks 😂😂😂😂. I can’t even eat a bagel now. Lmao. I shun them 😂😂😂😂. Well, unless they’re blueberry bagels with pineapple cream cheese. I make that exception. 🥯🥯🥯🥯🥯🥯🥯
Rachab brought her mates in the room with the cord with permission from the God of Israel
Yep, just a cord....while the walls went falling down. Interesting that archeologists have a lot to say about Jericho....it was barely a village much less a walled city!!!
Once the Baptism Candidate is brainwashed, he or she qualifies for baptism. ( signing your life over to the Watchtower not God)
Correct....it's not a cult right? ;)
I can say from experience, after i woke up my wife didnt like me anymore. She spent all of her time with ppl at the hall and i watched our marriage crumble for 3¹/² years until she eventually divorced me. Recently she sent her brother to beg me to sign a paper saying that she's scripurally free to remarry, but she's only free if i have sex with someone else (which I haven't)😂 what a cult! I aint signing shit! Best of luck to ya!
That's what she gets for being unloyal and unloving.
My god, so sorry Kevin!!! One of my closest friends went through the exact same thing. The most perfect couple.....but he woke up, she lost it. They got divorced, she remarried a guy, became a step parent.....but still loved him and is utterly miserable!!!! TRAGIC
Agree!@@violinfanatickamraz1403
@@survivingparadisepodcast its hard to know what to do when your spouse won't believe a word you say because you are now a mentally diseased apostate.
Stacey is 6 years older than Ann. In 2 years, he will be twice as old as Ann. Stacey is how old now? Yes, WT is as ridiculous as this math question. Who cares!!! Thank you Stacey, I hate math and WT too.
LOL, that alone confused me LOL! Thanks Estee!
❤