In-laws Gave Us a House, Now They're Homeless!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
- In-laws Gave Us a House, Now They're Homeless
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I would never let my parents be homeless
Weird he needs a second opinion
pharmer 2020 greed has been since the start times.
pharmer 2020 Nonsense dogma. You could become the greediest person by tomorrow - that will not increase your income or wealth by one penny.
Depends upon the parents. Parents are also people. I have a narcissistic one. As a result and after discarding me, I know she CANNOT POSSIBLY think to ask me for help as, that would, indeed, be a manipulation. As I mentioned above, these people could not have known there’d be a pandemic. But, there are also people who will “give” you a house and you don’t know they’re just “lending” it to you. That they may have known, ahead of time, that they didn’t want to lose the house while they were away so, the best way to get it back - is to “give” it to someone in the family.
I don’t want to vilify these people, in particular, as I don’t know them personally. But, this is a possibility and I know, looking at my own mother and some of the other stories Dave Ramsey has had about predatory parents and grandparents. Many many people don’t know about this, fortunately for them. But, more people are learning. They’re learning that, sometimes, the worst criminal you’ll ever meet, might be grandma.
@@privateprivate8366 We don't know the whole story but I don't they think they were hinting to have the house back. After a decade of not asking for help, I doubt they were being malicious about their generosity. I think they were hinting because how come a kind and generous friend helped them with shelter and yet a relative who was given a house for free did not even lift a finger to help them out? The caller was actually nickling and diming them by mentioning about renovations. He either wants to help them or not. No need to call a show to help him decide. I suspect he got the answer he was waiting for. No need to be grateful for getting a house for free. Don't be manipulated into helping them. But it is up to you if you want to help them.
And I thought part of Dave's plan is to be generous to others when you have enough money (if we need to take out the gratitude part). And the gall of comparing missionary work to having a business that failed.
Dude, give them a hand. This shouldn’t even have to be a question. Just help them.
Agreed. I literally can’t believe this caller. I love this program but today’s response wasn’t good.
Yeah it’s sad that he’s even questioning.
Agreed. How ungrateful.
The point is that he was considering giving back the house which is just wrong, there are other ways he can help them.
@@Executor009 Well, they did not sell the house to them but also gave them the house. One good turn deserves another if you ask me. Of course, if he prefers to let them stay with them instead of giving back the house, that is also up to him. Just try to help out. It is a good thing the old folks know someone who allows them to stay at their second house. This relative is not and all I hear is just talk of generosity with some sly attacks. He got the answer he was waiting for anyway.
I would either buy them the RV they want, rent them an apartment/home, or at least provide them with shelter in the home they gave you all...If you’re on baby step 7 “build wealth and give”...then why not give to the in laws who gave to you?
Agreed--how there be any question about helping...
With no mortgage all that time, I would give them a down payment on a similar valued home
Yes! Totally agree. Although I think they are too old to be living in an RV.
I completely agree!!!
EXACTLY
You gained most of your wealth because you got free house. Buy another home and let them live rent free. Then when they get on their feet, you have a rental property
You have the best answer. However a 65 mom and her 80+ parents will not be getting on their feet.
herbielina I didn’t want to say die. I’m assuming they will go back to China someday
mxer b yes you have the best answer. If they can’t afford another home, they can at least build an accessory dwelling unit or basement or something to let them move in. If they don’t have money now, this guy might be supporting them forever so he better not spend too much on another home
Or let the inlaws move in
Exactly ..not that complicated
Life is so short. They gave you the best gift ever, shelter.
To let them go without during their most vulnerable years would be unimaginable... sigh.
Dude's a monster if he doesnt give them a room to stay in immediately.
I agree. In my culture, taking care of aging parents is consider the moral right thing to do, but I get that American culture does have a different perspective on that matter.
These ppl gave you a home. You could at least offer them a temporary place to stay..
It was a gift. They should not expect anything in return. In-laws are way in their retirement years with no savings? They should've sold the house and sat the money in investments. Poor planning on their part.
untouchable360x even if they didn't give him a house he should still be willing to help his family.
@@mattpalmq The in-laws are acting like they owe them something.
@@untouchable360x The pandemic wiped out multi million corporations. Therefore, a setback could happen to anyone regular person. The great grand parents have to be in their 80s. It would be hard for them to find jobs at their age...
@@lb8853 No excuse. Pandemic would not have affected anyone if they had an emergency fund. If the grandparents saved and invested $100 a month since they started working, they would be millionaires now. This is on them. You reap what you sow.
I've never understood why people end up homeless when they have family but this caller makes me realise how. Why would you NOT help them and let them live in that house until they can make some money and maybe move out later? Even if they never gave you a house surely thats common sense.
Yeah and they are in their 80’s. The grandparents anyway.
True. But in another sense, we know they wouldn’t be there for a short stint. It would probably be a couple years or forever.
@@DewTime they have 20 years max to live though
@@prncessbaby16 So you'll have to take care of them for 20 years, while at the same time trying to take care of your own children. Sounds like a huge burden.
ur family must hate you
Treat elderly people the way you want to be treated when you become old especially your family. It’s not about obligation or whatever happened in the past. It’s about love and compassion. It’s a blessing to be wealthy and able to help.
My mother is elderly. She told me 2 years ago that she’d just always used me. Don’t know what she’s going to do now, other than the fact that she’s trapping and using my sister. I decided that the using was simply over.
@@privateprivate8366 I can see that you have been hurt but that was your mother. These 85 yr old missionaries are not like your mother, though. I doubt these old folks are manipulative and using this man when for a decade they did not bother him. And why would the first person to help them is a kind and generous friend? It is either he wants to help or not. He called to get the answer he was waiting for.
Dude, if you're doing well enough that you're considering selling the house or giving it back, just buy them the RV so they don't finance it and let them do what they want to do! That's how I would help them.
Agreed
I wanna agree, but when you bump the cost of the RV to the home and they show up again with their hand out.
@@williambencher2466 I'm not understanding what you mean.
I wouldn't want that relationship with my parents. Would you? I am not saying they dont have the ability to get the RV. The precedent it causes is where the problem is. @@mrsdv
@@williambencher2466 Well, in the end, he is still dealing with adults, who make their own decisions. Getting the RV doesn't mean they HAVE to drive it all over, he can find a way for them to park it somewhere, or maybe get a mobile home or some other option for them. What I am saying is to assist them so they don't have to finance something as that seems to be what they are hinting at. I don't feel like his options were the best ones he could consider.
The fact that the in-laws gave them the house is besides the point. The question should be: why wouldn't you help family?
Good point
In reality every family situation is diff. It’s a choice not obligation.
@@jmc8076 That may be true. I am blessed to have a great family who looks out for each other, but that's not the case for everyone.
j mc imo, it is not a legal choice, it’s a moral obligation. Unless drugs or abuse
Greeds... it never ends. Christ does not teach us to be this way.
Build a guest cottage in the back yard. Or, buy them the RV. they are family and they gave you a great financial head start!
Another comment said they probably going to ask for handouts the rest of their life. So buying them anything wouldn’t help. I like the cottage idea.
@@betruetoyourself7162 Well, the old folks are 85 and have not much time left. They got a free house for a decade so as the OP said it was a head start. So now that they have enough, they can share some of it to those relatives who will soon die. Yes, they were kinda stupid thinking that their generosity will be easily returned without dropping hints but they are missionaries who have a different mindset about how people should behave. Look at what a kind friend offered? There is a reason why this man had to call when he could have decided if he wants to help or not.
Dave always has the best answers. Many times the other co-hosts don't ask the right questions.
Well it’s call the Dave Ramsey show right
What are you talking about? These guys gave some really solid ideas. This scenario was a mess!
Jimmy Smith Dave would’ve cut to the heart of the matter. These two are all over the place and lack the discernment to distinguish the difference between this situation and other callers in the past with manipulative in laws. This is different. They got to Baby Step 7 because of the generosity of the in laws. Part of step 7 is being in a position to give back. Dave would’ve challenged him to step up and “be a man”.
Option 3 is the way to go; help them get back up on their feet. Your cup is full; theirs is empty. It’s simple
They poured their cup into his to make it full.
In laws gave you a free house? They’re homeless due to the pandemic.... why not help them out and let them stay at your place until they get themselves situated?? Offer help.
They’re not homeless. They’re staying at their friends second house right now.
they have no income they will never be situated. this is why i never take any help from family, returning the favor can be very costly
They have a 2000 sq foot house and didn't invite them to come stay with them? Sheesh. 🤨
Becca Pitts 2000sf is nothing when you have your own family. My MIL has stayed with us during the pandemic and 2000sf is not enough.
@@quonsetthehutt3105 One kid is 18 not living with them while the other "kid" who is 20 years old is staying with them. So I think they have enough room for the time being. Plus how long will those 85-yr-old folks live anyway? It is not as if this man is struggling financially. It will help to be generous once in a while as Dave said.
Knowing that 2 85 years old people might go to live in an RV really hurt my heart, I would help not because of the house, but because they are family
LOL...we are on baby step 7, but you had a house gifted to you. You need to help them, period. Can't believe he called in asking for "advice".
I can't believe the advice these "Christian" guys gave them. What's that verse about honoring your parents?
Come on, they are your wife's parents. It's tough time, help them out as much as you can, even if they didn't give you a house. It's the right thing to do.
Exactly like people are struggling in this pandemic right now
Can't believe this guy had to call strangers to ask for advice when this is just easy.
You are wealthy today because the in laws were kind and generous to you when you needed it most.. You and your wife didn't have to pay rent for all these years or get into debt with a mortgage because they gifted you the house! And now when they need your kindness, you have to ask other people in public as to what to do? Not to mention they are your family, your wife's parents/grandparents.. and elderly!
Shocking. Just give them the house back and say thank you.. You are a millionaire now, go buy your own house!
I don't agree with any of the 'advice'. Sad helping your parents has to be this difficult.. I would never let my parents to be homeless!
And btw, you are on baby step 7 because of the fact that you had a house given to you..!
And if this is my husband even having such a question, I would get rid of him asap. No one is leaving my parents and grandparents out on the street.. thanks!
Amen to that!!! Thank you for saying this. If he decides to let the missionaries fend for themselves after they helped this guy’s family save money and build wealth, that would be shameful, ungrateful and greedy. This is a no-brainer, help those that need help, otherwise, karma may have a way of getting back at you when you need help from others. So sad to think that he actually is even weighing the other options of turning his back to them when in need. Yikes!! God forbid anyone of having such a son or daughter-in-law.
Haha just noticed your YT name- KarmaBites- matches this situation perfectly. Love it!
Real shocking stuff lol dude is looking for an excuse NOT TO help his wife's parents. Absolutely crazy lol
I don't understand why this is complicated. They gave you a 120k house. Why can't you just give them the 35k for the RV when you are a millionaire? This is your family......These people are cold.
No, not the point at all. There is an expiration date on gifts. Manipulating people who you have given a gift to is very evil. That is called a bribe. Yes, he can help them but not based on the reasons you are talking about.
J Williams what is the expiration date on a gift. How are they manipulating anyone? They are unemployed due to a pandemic, it’s not like they anticipated pulling their cards at a later date
@@candirockstar135 And they are 85 yr old missionaries. This caller made it out as if he was being manipulated because he is hesitant to help them out. For a decade, they did not ask for help and now that they needed help they had to make hints according to the caller. If true, then maybe it was because the one who gave them shelter first was a kind friend and not the relative who got a house for free. The caller had to mention the renovations just to nickle and dime what he wanted to actually give them (if he would do so since he either wanted to help them or not). No need to make a call to help him decide. Most probably he called to get the answer he was waiting for--No need to be grateful. It is their fault they are homeless but help them if you want. It doesn't matter if you are a millionaire now. That has nothing to do with being generous.
The gall of comparing being a missionary to having a failed business. And it is not even about the house. He is now in the position to be generous which is part of Dave's plan. And these people are not even bad ones.
This guy wasn't asking for advice, he just wanted confirmation for his selfishness
Yep, and that was why he called. He got the answer he was waiting for. What happened to being wealthy enough to be able to give?
Guy is so selfish. It didnt even cross his mind to atleast give them a room in the house temporarily. But to keep it or sell it.
Yeah, why was that never mentioned? It doesn't seem like it should be difficult
Living with your in laws is horrible. He legally owes them nothing. But in Asian cultures it is customary to take care of your parents forever. So I think he is asking his obligation duties. If he keeps the house, it might mean he would need to follow that custom, at least morally. If he gets rid of it, he can say he is free and clear. IMO either is a big choice especially when you didn’t grow up with that expectation
Sadly, this doesn't surprise me. Selfishness seems to be the new norm of our society.
It is not selfish not to like being forced to house and feed your in-laws under the same roof as yourself for the rest of their lives. That’s a huge imposition
@@quonsetthehutt3105 Well, the overly generous old folks are 85. Death is near so why not give them a lending hand? And if you have enough money like this caller, he is being selfish if he doesn't want to give because giving is part of Dave's plan.
This caller represents everything that's wrong with this country. They helped you and you're not sure if you should return the favor. He's a low life.
And he dared to spell it out in public, which means he really did not not how low he was. Horrible!
Yeah it's so bizarre to me! I'd offer them a place to stay so fast! I'm so confused by this whole situation. And the son doesn't live with the mother, so that's also bizarre. Idk strange couple to me...
I think you are right and I am not even American or I do not live there either - I get the feeling America is not what it meant / used to be, at least sometimes by the looks of it at least.
I'm disappointed with the advice you two gave here.
The elderly parents in law are in dire need and deserve strong help. For Dr John to suggest the elderly parents in law look for work like they're 30 years of old, when they are in their 80s, is cold hearted and very strange to me. For Chris (?) to say the gift is over and forgotten is cold hearted as well. The parents in law are elderly, need help and aren't out of line looking to their daughter and son in law for strong help in their time of need.
The lesson here is don't give away your assets before your death. None of us know the future and we can all be in need due to unforeseen circumstances.
Yes I agree, you can help people because of your good heart, but the world is cruel. You can give and give, but when it's time for you to get some help, there's none to help you. That is the reality of life. What happed to paying kindness forward, do you have to?..No. paying kindness forward is not a legal thing, nor an obligation, but it sure makes the world a better place.
Real Talk Sis
I have agree with this
Seriously, i do not understand why they were so cut throat
The advice was to not sell the house. To offer them a place for a short term but they're already staying in another place. They just said ask the other ones what they needed and then if it's within your plan you can write a check, etc. get a plan, you don't owe them a house is an obvious point there.
I'm from the Caribbean and no family member of mine is gonna go homeless when we have a place. Family comes first, they gotta find a way to help. If they were kind enough to give you a house, it means they are well intentioned and good people. Helping them shouldn't even be a question.
Exactly. The American culture of treating the elderly with contempt is despicable.
Amen
I'm from the island too, and this is consider cruel in my culture.
This is not that hard. They were more than generous with you -if not for them you'd still owe 20 years on a home but instead you're building wealth. Give them a place to stay or give them money to live somewhere. It boggles my mind that you can be so selfish after having received such a gracious gift.
Hogan explained it perfectly, if you'd actually listen.
This is a Beauty and the Beast test from the in-laws. They are probably loaded, but before they let you inherit $300,000,000 they are testing you lol
Lol 😂 right!!!!!
He’s a millionaire? Give them the freaking house back! Why is this even a question? Sell it? Why? There has to be some compensation? Why?! They GAVE you a whole house and you were able to achieve wealth by living without a mortgage.
I would move them in temporarily while we look for another place and then move. If they really want an RV to travel I would buy them one. But I have a feeling they just threw that out there because they didn’t want to ask for the house back. This guy seems like he has a big head now because he’s rich. His whole attitude about this situation is disgusting.
Disgusting? That’s nonsense. If someone in your family ask you for your gift back after 10 or 20 years, don’t complain. That’s like you giving someone a car as a gift then 5 years later the car breaks down you don’t owe them another car. There MUST be boundaries on stuff like this. Gifts with strings is disgusting manipulation.
I don't think the guy should move out but he SHOULD somehow give them a lot of help to find a house. Maybe guy them an RV or bye them another house. Especially if the guy is a millionaire. For all we know he became a millionaire because he didn't have to worry about a mortgage.
Your sick
I don't think the old folks are asking for their house back. I believe they hinted about it because a kind friend gave them shelter and not a relative, especially those who got a free house. The least they could have done is to share a room for the 3 if they don't want to share two rooms since a 20 yr old child came back while the 18 year old lives elsewhere.
J Williams dude they didn’t plan on coming back, a pandemic hit! Do you not remember the world literally stopped... no one is trying to manipulate anyone. You’d rather let your own blood die on the street than to help
He is a millionaire . Buy them a cheap house in Midwest.
It's beyond sad that the in-laws huge generosity is repaid by leaving them homeless and about to be in debt smh
99 Sparkles yea and it’s the husband who isn’t related that’s determining what happens to the house
Can't believe they said that... leave the 85years old grandparents on the streets or house them until they find a job to pay the rent on an appartment... -_-" After they gave you a house for free and you save a fortune in rent costs in 10 years...
This situation really isn't THAT complicated, but OVERTHINKING it is.
Wise words. Life is as complicated as we make it. Too much focus on past and not actual problem. Ask in-laws what’s actually needed then how are you willing/able to help? Keep it simple. Life can always be worse. Always. Don’t make it harder. Cheers my friend!
He is overthinking because he doesn't want to help no matter what he is saying. Actions speak louder than words. Look at who gave shelter to the octogenarians first? Not this caller.
I’m so disappointed in the Dave Ramsay crew. No family values at all.
Why is he talking on behalf of the wife? Her parents gave her a house. Now they are in a hard time he doesn’t want to help them out? Super selfish. Help your Inlaws. So selfish, they even go to China to spread english and he still doesn’t help them. It’s not complicated. Americans really don’t love their in laws.
Loving is very different than sharing a roof with.
Most.of us do
Kimberly Meffert it seems like most callers and Dave complain about their in laws living with them. Like they position the conversation as they don’t owe them anything. Like where’s the love lol
@@robellyosief8820 well the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Robell Yosief it’s your in-laws lol. In a family of four they only raised one of them. So no they are probably not owed anything, especially the broke moochers who raised the kid in a falling apart shack and now that the kid has gone to college and paid off his own student loans and bought a house they come a knockin for some free stuff cause “You owe me” it’s not that I’m an adult who can’t pay my bills/doesn’t want to work in my late 50s early 60s it’s that you owe me.
I can't even stand to listen to this after 5:30. I would divorce a guy like this in two seconds flat. I couldn't live with a man that cleaned up on my parents gift and then had the slightest question of what he should do...putting my 80 year old grandparents out on the street during a GLOBAL PANDEMIC!!!!! Dave would not answer like this. Dave would rip him a new one.
Unscripted - He definitely sounds like a scumb bag. The kind that comes to party with a 6pk and leaves with case and the leftovers.
Unfortunately, American culture is not as open to family as Asian, African and Latin cultures. If this was any other culture the family would be already living with you and they wouldn't have to figure out where to go and what to do.
Seriously, in my culture we keep our parents with us as we upgrade and when we marry we bring in the in laws
I lived in a multi generational house. Aunts uncles cousins grandparents on both my mom and dads side this is what we do. I have kids and they and their friends are not like that. My daughter has an African friend who bought a home and her mother father and sister are not homeless and want to move in and she said NO.
This is what’s wrong with America. As an Asian American, we would never ever let our family live in the street, especially if they already helped us in the past. Money is important, but it will not help you sleep better at night knowing the people who helped you get wealthy, are now living in the street.
Amen!
Exactly I'm asian too and the white culture of cutting of ties with family once 18 is weird. Both ways they dont feel obligated to automatically help each other.
Privacy is also important. My job as a parent is to take care of myself. Not bank on my child to house and feed me when I’m old.
Quonset TheHutt I agree with privacy and taking care of yourself so you don’t rely on your children. However, life happens, just like the caller’s Grandparents-in-law. When the hosts said that the caller isn’t obligated to help out, I am not sure if that’s even a Christian way to live. Sure legally he doesn’t have to help out but morally, he has to. You do not turn your back on family that previously helped you out.
Tan Pham a smarter person wouldn’t have taken the gift to begin with. He should give it back to them and move out.
I’d love to see Dave’s feedback on their answers
Dave would say GET TO THE POINT
@@olivewoo522 Haha
The least they can do is help by providing some temporary support, especially if they are millionnaires........It's called Karma......
Baby step 7 doesn't mean millionaire. I am in baby step 7 and not a millionaire.
@@lovitac i didn’t listen in great detail but i did hear the part where Dr.JohnD said that as a millionaire, he still has options as to what his family will decide to do or not do for his in-laws
The advice to this call was very disappointing. My mom gave me an interest free loan to buy my 1st house. When she got sick, I stopped working and was her caretaker. I had 3 kids at the time but still managed to afford it and pay for small things she needed. BECAUSE I DID OWE HER!
And even if we take gratitude out of the picture, this man is in the position to be generous to good people who happen to be family members who happen to be too generous to a fault who happen to be 85 years old and who don't have many years left to live.
Be a decent human being and have some compassion. Let them stay with you or give it back.
Really? You're a millionaire and you're going to let the family who have you a house live in a RV? Why is this even a question?
I agree 100%
Doesn't Dave say to "live like no one else so you can GIVE like no one else"? They have family members who lived a life of service and now are suffering...how is this even a discussion? What selfish people.
100% agree
The real question is What would Jesus Do? If they are millionaires why can’t they give the house back? They’ve had free rent for 10 years.
I completely disagree. They are a young enough and should have enough in savings to purchase a small home for just the two of them. The grandparents are in their eighties. They can have the house back as inheritance later. That’s what I would do in this situation
@@googleuser8660 The adult children can share a room or a basement. I wouldn't buy a house based on giving them a ton of space
It sounds like they don't have any money. :/ They're going to need more than just a place to stay.
Totally agree
Dave should have a segment where he reacts to the people hosting the show when he's not there
Yes. These two got this call wrong.
Why wouldn’t you help them out when they helped you is what I’m thinking 🤔
Really bad advice by these folks on the call. At least Dave had a ♥. So disappointed in John and Chris.
Yeah, like looking for work at 85. Plus comparing missionary work to a failed business. And I doubt these octogenarians are being manipulative as the caller portrayed them to be. If the hint is true then I suppose they had to do it because the first person who helped them with shelter was a kind friend and not the relative who received a house for free and whose children are grown with one staying somewhere else.
i would give it back and consider myself living rent free for 10 years.
This caller was horrible they just need to help them period!! Idk why he needs to ask strangers what to do
Easy peasy, hi in-laws! Thanks for the 10 year free home! I’m a millionaire now can you let us help you get back on your feet?? Ok, here’s your home back we gonna go buy one since we are not free loaders!
As an Asian this is so confusing. I can't fathom how hard could it be for in laws and extended family members to be living together in one house...
I would love to live with my in laws. More the merrier.
It’s not about giving the house back. What happened to scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. I would say let them move in but it is hard living with old people. Find them a cheap place for seniors and pay for it! They don’t need an RV at that age. Selfish! You wouldn’t be were you are if it wasn’t for them!
He needs to give them a good chunk of money to help them get on their feet, why is he even thinking about this?
Just give the darn house back to them and buy another one for yourself like normal people have to. Having a house mortgage/rent free for 10 years is enough of a gift already. Thank them for their incredible generosity and move out. There is a lesson in this story for parents, do not gift your house to your children while you're still living. They can get it when you die. If you're moving out of the country, you can let family live in the house rent free or at low rent, but keep ownership of the property. You never know what the future holds!
It’s really frustrating to me when people who call just can’t get to the point, and question. What does the back story really have to do with anything...just say “I was gifted a house years ago, person who gifted me is now in financial hardship who happens to be my in-laws, what should I do?
- no matter what they advise, you know your own heart and situation better than anyone listening, for me if they gifted me a home , I’m financially set and not even living in this home, I see no reason why I can’t be a good man and let them live in it rent free for the time being til they figure out their work situation, as they did for you for 10 years, no one said it has to be forever, for god sakes their 85 years old. If they were kind enough to gift you a home from their heart there’s no reason I’d believe they have bad intent to ruin any current situation you have built, otherwise you wouldn’t even be calling.
Exactly!!!!! To all of this!
Exactly what does her bring adopted have to do with anything.
He called because of the answer he was waiting for and he got it. No need to call to decide on whether you need to help the old folks out or not. It is either you want to help them or not. I am glad to know, though, that these octogenarians are missionaries and that is why I call BS on how he portrayed them--as being manipulative. They have a missionary mindset so they are generous to a fault. And at that age, we know that they only have a few more years. He might not even need to help them for a decade.
I hope these awful people never have to find out what it’s like to depend on a grown child in their 80’s. Chris and John are a HOT MESS on this one.
Disagree on this one
Same
Me three.
So if young adults need to move back in temporarily with their parents that is socially acceptable, but if the parents fall on hard times, it’s not acceptable for them to temporarily move back in with their children. The owners are, of course, free to do what they will, but morally, it seems wrong to turn them out in a mobile home given the details presented.
They got the benefit of 10 years free rent/mortgage that allowed them to get ahead financially. I don’t think the in laws planned to move back but under the circumstances they should repay them financially in some way, I feel it’s the moral thing to do. This isn’t like gifting a tv set.
Personally I would give the house back.
Tan Tran seriously he’s so selfish. It’s not even his it’s his wife’s. He’s a inconsiderate husband
How rich would you be without them, Nick ?
So YT removes my comments again. I guess it was not right to talk about the terrible American culture and how they treat their elders.
What did you comment? It seems Americans culture is the nursing home
I wouldn’t even think about what to do. I would have them live with me. Done
I would give the house back.
Very noble and generous. In reality all family situations are diff and that may not be the healthy or best choice or even necessary.
j mc
I would do it because in the big picture it is the best decision overall. This is the wife's parents who gave a no-strings-attached gift to their newly wedded daughter. Financial details can be worked out in a fair manner.
Same. He seems to be in good financial situation so they can get another place.
@@christhomas1708 , You are right.
@@jmc8076 Yep every situation is different but this one is so easy to address. The caller has grown children. He is on step 7 which allows him to give back. The generous grandparents are already 85 and most probably will croak soon. He can either let them live with them or buy another house and let them live in that old house rent-free until they croak or help them with another small place. The house stays in his and his wife's name. But he called and depicted these old missionaries as manipulative (but for a decade he was not bothered by them) because he was waiting for the response he wanted and he got it.
This is the worst caller I’ve ever heard on this channel.
Agreed
I wouldn't even call. I would def let them stay until they can get back on there feet.
I think Dave would have been more specific about their moral obligation to help the people that helped them in the past...
His In-laws gave him a house.
I don’t understand.
Heartless.
The reason you save live like no one else is for you to be able to live and give like no one else. They need your help and you’re able help so why not rent them an apartment or something. They seem very giving when they had the money
I think there’s more to the story than he’s telling. It seems He and his wife are in a position to help the parents financially. Also, I wonder how the wife is feeling about the situation. He sounds as though he’s a little put off with her parents now needing help. He was perfectly happy to accept such a gift.
So disappointed in both of your advice not to mention heartless caller and his wife. This is not a manipulation situation and they gave you a generous gift and and now that they actually need help during this vulnerable time, you don’t even help the family who helped you guys? I’ve been a longtime listener to Dave Ramsey and really not enjoying his show anymore even since these guys stepped in. You guys should have your own show, not hide under Dave Ramsey show. Not professional, cocky, not wise counseling at all.
I agree. They gave the caller the answer he was waiting for. He does not need a show to decide whether to help the old folks or not. He either wants to help them or he does not. He insinuated that the old folks were manipulative by hinting about the house but I am guessing that they had to do that because the first person who gave them shelter was a kind and generous friend and not the relative who got a house for free and whose kids are already grown, one being in another household and one returning to live with them. And the gall comparing missionary work and having a failed business. The only reason this man and his wife were gifted a house was because the giver has a missionary mindset and they are used to living out the kindness and generosity of others (like that kind friend who offered a second house to them). They may have made a stupid decision with their generosity to the wrong person and their line of work, but there is no reason to blame them so much when they are already 85 and nearing their death anyway.
I couldn't agree more!
He's in baby step 7! I would let them have the house until they die they are 85 already. Seems like he might need/want another home anyways at this point. So let them live there and get another home and once they are gone just sell or rent out the old home.
@@googleuser8660 True technically you're right I just figured they might want more square footage or just their "dream" home. Most people don't stay in one home forever. 120K home is very cheap thought maybe they might be thinking of something a little bigger as well. But hey never know.
Kevin B I agree with you 100%. They don’t have much time on this earth. Help them to have a quality life while they are here. The Bible says to honor thy parents. God will reward them in the end.
Exactly
The grandparents are in their 80s, the mother is probably in her 60s....so it could be a while before she's gone
@@dec1slh This what I'm thinking more so the grandparents not the mom, the mom can get her own stuff after she gets back on her feet but the grandparents might have like 5-10 yrs left.
None of these co-hosts ever have a good answer. Not like Dave does.
FatMenace - I agree. Something missing without Dave.
Amen.
Spot on
Because there is no perfect answer to this particular situation.
@@chookchack not just this call dude
Caller: “ I thought we were on Baby Step 7 for awhile..”
Baby Step 7: “Build Wealth and Give”
He’s got the wealth just needs to Give.. help the family out.. SMH..
Give them the house back. No brainer
This is a time families to stick together
Nothing is free in life. Everything comes with strings attached
That's really strange to not help those who have helped you. I don't know how you can psychologically even do that. Just let them move in.
How about have them move in with you till they get back in there feet... people these days are heartless. A decade of rent free and you can’t even help
This is why I don't take or accept "gifts" that tie me to someone forever.
The gift was also to his wife, they are her parents. This is a more complicated than it appears. The house should be returned in this particular situation.
Dee A - I agree. But it really depends on the gift for me. A house? No, I don't think so. A piece of strawberry cake, vanilla frosting. I'll take it in a minute.
@@jdstep97 you wouldn't be indebted to someone for a piece of cake lol
he is already tied to them forever because when you marry their family becomes your family too !!!
So true.
That's sad... this shouldn't be a discussion... give them the house back! (period) ...10 yrs rent free! 😢
So these BS7 people can’t just buy a smaller property for them and let them stay there until the in laws are in a better place then rent out the property after they leave? If he’s truly on BS7 and he’s in his 30s, then he can easily afford this. None of the “3” options were to give them money for a set period of time, like a year. Instead he makes it seems like they are irresponsible “not on Dave Ramsey plan” and seems more upset that the gift had no strings attached. Jebus you got a $120,000 house. I guess he should be mad if his parents come back to him in an older age and ask him to take care of them because they physically can’t take care of themselves anymore because when they raised him as a child it shouldn’t have any strings attached.
Normally I say "Get to the point!" however, in this case the background story was totally relevant.
Two key points he stated:
1. They've done missionary work for the past 25 years. - There is a chance that they opted out of social security which explains why they're still working at 85. -
2. They're not good with their finances. - They put nothing away for savings. -
Even if he gives them the house it doesn't seem like they have an income for basic necessities. They will need financial support until the day they die.
He said he's in baby step 7.
Mmmm if it were me, I'd buy a bigger house and move them in. He doesn't owe them anything. That's what I'd do.
That’s a great answer. Sell the 2000 sq ft house and buy a 3000 sq ft house and put an extra kitchen in the basement with 2 bedrooms.
Google User yup it is a 2000 square foot house. They have room. Or build an adu unit. He owes them nothing, but I wouldn’t want my parents be homeless.
Mike L - Why not buy the bigger house and move into that house yourself? Give them back the old house.
The caller is so ungrateful smh
I would want to know how the deal was set up originally. Did grandma and grandpa have the intention of coming back to that house when they were no longer able to be missionaries, or did they expect to be in China until they died? Because at 85, you’d think they would be realistic that they wouldn’t be able to run a school much longer. Unless the mom was going to run the school and they were just going to live in China with her. So many details they didn’t mention.
But to look at these folks who have devoted their lives to mission work, and are now in their golden years, and gave you a very generous gift that has enabled you to become very financially secure a a young age, I would think he would be bending over backwards in gratitude and want to help them. Well I might not just give them the house back, as there’s all kinds of tax and other implications to a transaction like that, I think it makes sense to let them come back and live in the house, you keep the house in your name, but go buy another house with all the wealth that you have managed to save as a result of their generosity. That way they get to retire with dignity, you still keep the house in your name and later on when they have passed away, either you can move back in, sell it, or keep it as a rental property.
This is not a hard question. Get them into that house if you don’t want them living with you. They are family. If your family needs help and it is not due to irresponsibility, why wouldn’t you help them with the basics? I’m not saying finance everything but make sure they are stable. Especially at baby step 7.
They should give the house back, they’re old anyway
Why cant the live in a room in your house? Do not be ungrateful for they gift they gave you.
They Gave you FREE HOUSE 🏡 that YOU Didn’t DESERVE and NOW you are Looking for Someone to tell you DONT Need to HELP THEM 🤷♂️🙈
You Had Free LIFESTYLE for the PAST 10 YEARS only from that it’s Worth More than the HOUSE they Gave YOU.
Agree. He called to get the answer he was looking for. If we take out being grateful, he still needs to help family members, especially those who are not even bad people. He is now in the financial position to be able to give but the does not want to. So I guess he doesn't believe in Dave's plan about wealth.
Buy them the 30k rv they want and call it a day
This is such a weird one. If my mom gave me a house and then 10 years later was homeless and I was financially wealthy...she wouldn't have even gotten to the point of staying at a friend's house, because there's no way I'm letting my mother be homeless. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Even right now I'm not a millionaire but I would 100% rent my mom an apartment and pay it till the day she dies if need be. This was such a weird call.
option 4: if you can build a small house or garage apartment on the property.
Wow! I would not leave them out in the cold after they gave you a whole house.
Buy them a small house if you can afford it or help them rent for a while till they get back on their feet. You don't have to feel like anyone is manipulating you. A 100k+ house is too rich a gift to not feel some responsibility towards them in their time of need. Unless you cannot afford it and the house is already too full to make room for them.
I love the combination of these two. Great dynamic
They helped you. You help them. Simple. However that may look like. Write them a check, pay their rent for a few months, get them a plane ticket back to the US and temporarily let them stay there... so many other options he's not even considered.
They response to this call was perfect. Basically do what you want you BOTH think is right as a married couple.
I really need Dave to chime in, this guy OMG.
Best thing to do is sell the house, and spilt the profits . Buy your own home
Or
Finance your house at 80000, give them that money.
They are going to hold this over your head until they get something