I knew a pastor and his wife that was like that. They always wanted you to cover the bill or "help" them financially. They used their office as a crutch and tried to guilt people into thinking that God would be mad if they didn't help.
Bridezilla planned a wedding that she can't afford and she now wants family and friends to pay for it? How about you plan a wedding that's within your budget. The fact that the caller makes 92k a year does not mean that bridezilla is entitled to her money.
Smart couple! My wedding was $1,200. It was nice. Didn't have to buy any church decorations, since it was in December and the place was already decorated. Made lovely background pics.
I remember having to pay for hotel, make up, hair, and clothes for my friend wedding and my income was very little. Now I know better but I would never put someone in that predicament when I get married. It’s not reasonable
My friend wanted me to spend between 4-6k for his wedding in a different country. I said I can't I'm overwhelmed with full time work and school. Needless to say, hes not my friend anymore lol oh well, a real friend would have understood the situation.
I wanted to elope but my mom asked if she could throw me a little last minute wedding. I said yes and she threw me the prettiest, most inexpensive back yard wedding with my friends and family and my favorite flowers, sunflowers everywhere. Our friend was the person who married us and we played back yard games afterwards and ate. It was amazing and I'm so glad she did it. I can't imagine a more expensive wedding would have made me happier.
My mom helped arrange a similar wedding in a friend’s backyard. They got friend chicken “catered” from a local grocery store, the mothers and grandmothers all made a salad for side dishes. I forget how they did the flowers but it was all planned within like a 2 month time span and everything turned out great.
ApplePie521 don’t need a backyard. People gave weddings in public parks. Many you can reserve a section for private events. No need to go into huge debt for a wedding. Keep it low cost and spend a little more for a even better honeymoon if you like.
It makes sense. A big wedding means that the couple starts their life together with massive debt. And putting more focus on having a "perfect" wedding than a good marriage is never a good idea.
MsBrendalina that’s not necessarily true. We’re having an expensive wedding but also have been saving since we got engaged and have a healthy savings outside of this wedding fund. But I get what you’re saying.
@@euenfheiejrj There's nothing wrong with having a lavish wedding if you can afford it. But I just think it's a bad omen when couples put themselves into debt just to have a fancy wedding party
Why do people expect others to finance their own wedding is beyond me. YOU chose to have a big or expensive wedding, YOU should make sure you have the funds to pay for it. People's sense of entitlement is quite awful. I'd be scared to marry a woman like this. Trouble down the road almost guaranteed.
I cannot believe I'm writing this. If you want to get married get out your own check book. What someone else makes is their business not yours. Why does everyone think they need to pitch in on a bill someone else generates? God, Dave called it right, she is "Bridezilla".
Tom Watson my husband was making over 6 figures when we got married we spent about 500.00 including on everything private wedding. We rather save and use our money for our dream vacation then on one day where the paper at the end is the same no matter what you paid for your wedding. This kind of stuff makes me glad I didn't have a traditional wedding.
8/22/20....AND the FUNNY thing is these ppl SHACK UP FOR YEARS & MANY EVEN HAVE KIDS---THEN decide to have a HUGE EXPENSIVE WEDDING! I really think THE BIGGER & MORE EXPENSIVE WEDDINGS END IN BIGGEST LEGAL FEES FOR DIVORCE! 😊
I could see Dave struggling to answer this wisely, because it is about boundaries and he is so right that not handling it well could have decades-long repercussions. I loved to see him take his time and think about it, and I found the answer was wise and helpful.
He needs to sit down with his brother and go, "Dude! Really? You want to marry HER?!?!?" Dave sees the red flags. Don't worry about being the Wicked Witch of the West. I doubt the marriage would last 15 years. Women like this are why MGTOW exists.
GamerNRetro Omg, I feel the same way. What man would marry a woman who makes such ridiculous requests? He is going to regret marrying such an entitled brat.
My daughter is in this phase of her life....being asked to participate in weddings. The behavior of this bride is standard bride behavior by today's norms. Destination bacchelorette parties, Multiple showers to attend or throw, rehearsal dinner and after party.... and the monetary cost doesnt include time off from work for travel or events. It makes it extra hard to decline when the new norm is to ask your bridesmaid via a postal delivered box filled with custom coffee cup, handmade chocolates and toiletries along with a note saying " will you be my bridesmaid?" My daughter ( who is newly married and getting out of debt) spent almost $1000 to participate in a wedding this past weekend. And it wasnt even what would be considered "flashy"! The wedding industry is alive and well and our young people are fueling it.
Janie Werner My wife tried this stuff with me before we got . I was in the military at the time and I wanted to wear my dress blues and since I was an no I could wear the sword. I planned on letting my brother have the free tux rental since he didn't have money at the time.when I told her that I was doing this I got the most demonic look I have ever seen on a person's face.she told me that was not happening. I looked at her and told her to her face in front of her family that if I can't wear my dress blues than the wedding won't happen end of discussion. Everyone looked at me like how dare you tell her no. I said you decide if what I wear is more important than I am to you. If so then marriage off.She was shocked when I stood my ground coupled with publicly putting it back on her influenced her decision. She finally relented I think more so because of bad she made herself look but her family still took her side which I understand. I told her that she better understand that I will not give in to your every whim and you will not get your way all the time. This set the tone from then and she knows that when I dig in on something that I will not give in. I have learned to pick my battles in this area and I have never lost my self respect.
I have never heard of such spoiled rich entitled wedding behavior. I dunno, even if I was asked to be apart of such an expensive wedding and contribute $1,000 .... I’d walk away.
Janie, you are absolutely right!!! My friends are all finally married off, lol, but the last few i participated in, cost in the 1000s. Brides do expect expensive showers, destination bachelorette parties and 300 dollar up-dos. Love ya Dave, but you are wrong with this one, times have changed. The last wedding I attended, best friend from college, insisted everyone stay at the same B & B, it was 320 dollars a night! Outrageous what money pits weddings have become for all involved.
I spent more being a bridesmaid for someone else’s wedding than my own wedding. NEVER again. Bride was ungrateful and I’m no longer friends with her. Also, my dog had an emergency $2500 surgery and her bridal party was upset I didn’t pay 150 to pitch in for a hotel I wasn’t even staying in because I was caring for my dog. The worst people. Lesson learned.
Same, my total wedding cost was $750 for a beautiful backyard get together. I had to foot the bill for everything as a bridesmaid and spent over $1200. Horrible.
Seems that some people want a party more than a marriage. My wedding was $79...$25 for a marriage license, $50 to justice of the peace and $4 for parking. Still married 25 years later.
Myself also. I don't remember the exact cost but it was 38 years ago, JP and then a very small reception in the backyard 3 days later on a Sunday afternoon. Subway sandwiches and cupcakes. No regrets.
My wife and I got married with $300.00 to our name and 56 years later we don’t owe anyone anything and have no debt. Excellent financial management on my spouses part has enabled us to have three different houses and no mortgages. Life is good when you are in this position. Main rule don’t buy anything unless you can afford it! Thanks Dave Ramsey, my wife was using your advise before you started giving it! And it’s good advise
My husband and I had a very inexpensive wedding. We honestly just wanted to go to the courthouse. My in-laws insisted we have a wedding. So we got married in a wedding chapel with a very small number of people in attendance. My entire wedding was $1,000 and $350 was my wedding dress. Actually, my in-laws paid for everything. Neither Ben or I wanted to start our lives together in debt or broke. We didn’t have a honeymoon. We have been married 18 years and we have worked hard to build the life that we have. We have zero debt. We just paid off our house.
Courthouse. $20. Married 26 years. Took the money we saved for the wedding and had an awesome Honeymoon and a down payment on a house instead. Spending huge on weddings is ridiculous. @uallspending5plusfiguresonweddings
K Yancy I’ve told my daughter from the start. I’ll help with college as I can, and please elope or just go to the courthouse and spend your money on a down payment on a house.
Married two years ago the same way. Save your money for other things. Friends were upset, but hey, we see them on the fourth Thursday of every month for dinner.
I had something similar with my best mate when he got married. He'd asked me to be his best man which I would have loved to do. We live in the UK but he decided to have his wedding and honeymoon in Thailand and expected the guests to pay for not only their own flights but also their food and accommodation. At the time I'd just bought a new house with a large mortgage and had two young children. I couldn't afford to take my own family to Thailand and I wasn't prepared to get into debt to do it. I would have loved to go but had to decline to go. Unfortunately he took this badly and it damaged our relationship for many years afterwards. But I just didn't feel right going on my own when I couldn't afford to take my own family on holiday and I wasn't going to take out a loan or put it on a credit card.
You should pay for all of that. Its not the grooms responsibility to pay for that. However, they also have to understand when you do a destination wedding some people will not choose to go because of the finances.
@@staceystrukel1917 That is a terrible thing to make a best man pay for anything. If you can not have a wedding you can afford, then don't. Have a simple wedding in your backyard. What a stupid tradition. If I organize any party, I pay for all of it. I don't make people pay to come to the party I am organizing.
One of my very good friends did a destination wedding. He and his wife got married in Hawaii because that is where he proposed to her. He was actually thinking of other people. He understood that most of us could not afford to fly out to Hawaii as well as the other expenses we would end up incurring. They invited only their immediate family and actually paid their expenses. I would have loved to hav attended, but completely understand why they did what they did. They put together a second reception in our town when they got back, complete with video wedding footage. We all had a great time and still got to celebrate their union.
I could never understand expensive weddings. What's the point? I can't believe what some people go through just to have a wedding. My husband and I got married for a few bucks at the courthouse 11 years ago. Other people we know spent thousands of dollars only to get divorced a few years later. I really don't believe that spending a fortune on a wedding means anything about how your marriage is going to turn out. I know that is beside the point of this call but I'm just stating my opinion.
I hear you on that. My wife and I spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $1500 bucks on ours. We had an intimate wedding with a few family and friends in a little country church. This past November 15th, we hit 27 years. I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
This lady may be earning $92,000 but she owes $46,000, excluding their house. They are seriously in debt so should only spend an amount they are happy with.
They might not have any retirement savings either so they need to get out of debt. If she said they have 100k or so in retirement it may have been a little less painful. Student loans are the worst.
I got married in Aug 2018 and I told my bridesmaids (my two sisters and niece) that they can buy whatever dress as long as it was navy blue and I paid for their hair/makeup as a gift. Their dresses were absolutely beautiful and cost less than $40 from Amazon. Really irks me when I hear brides put so many demands on their bridal party.
The caller could be making $2 million/year. It still does not entitle this bridezilla to make the caller and other bridesmaids pay so much for a wedding. This marriage will end in divorce in a few years anyway.
emily anne yes she did. 23magneta was making the point that it doesn’t matter how much money the caller makes, meaning she could be even a millionaire, and it still wouldn’t give the bride the right to demand her bridesmaids pay for all these things. Hope that makes sense lol
I agree, I was confused as to why he asked what her income was, because it's irrelevant. She is not obligated to pay for all this stuff regardless of how much she makes. Bridezilla needs to get a clue and have a wedding she can afford to pay for herself. I would bow out of the wedding entirely- I do not take well to people telling me that they feel entitled to my money.
It doesn't matter if they make $92k a year. They're trying to get out of debt! Plus, requiring several hundred dollars per person to attend a wedding is ridiculous!
We spent $60 for our marriage license. We also spend a under $100 for my dress and tux and our family did a small cookout and I loved every second! It was so sweet and wonderful and you could really feel the love from everyone! So blessed to have married a humble, hardworking and honest man. His hard work and sacrifices are staring to make our dreams come true.
its not just about the money its the principle behind it. you don't ask people to spend that kind of money on your wedding without having a choice. He nailed it with Bridezilla.
I wanted a simple church wedding, but thanks to my MIL, it turned into something pricier than I intended. My fiancé and I are working super hard to save up for the party. We created a budget and I researched prices for the things I want to incorporate into the wedding. But my MIL is angry and wants us to charge $150/plate. I said to her no. We will pay for it ourselves, because we can. Sometimes, it’s not the bride who’s doing not so classy stuff. Family can also be a pain.
The thing that kills me is that some of these brides come from very ordinary families in terms of status and income and want everyone to suddenly act as if she is royalty! Ridiculous !!!
Traditionally, asking the bridesmaid to pay for her own dress is the only requirement to participate in the wedding party. I wouldn't be in a wedding if I were asked to pay anymore than that.
This is exactly why my husband and I had an extremely small wedding and only had our parents as guests. I wanted my friends to still be my friends after I got married! Weddings have become such a scam.
Dude. Being a bridesmaid these days can be a huge financial commitment. Expectations get raised all of the time. Showers, parties, gifts, make up, hair, nails, over priced dresses no one really wants, shoes, trips.. the list goes on..
I paid $70 to get married in SC. I laugh at people that get $25K weddings. I knew a guy...his bridezilla had a $50K wedding...then filed for divorce 6 months later...HAHA
My Aunt had 50k on rings then 80k on a wedding with a guy she got engaged to after knowing him 6 weeks. They were going to lawyers for a POST marital agreement when they got back from their honeymoon and filing for divorce 5 months after that
On the surface, this may not seem like a big deal, it is. Sure, we are talking about an amount of money that the caller could afford, it doesn't mean she should have to. It's ridiculous and disrespectful that the bride is demanding this. If she wants certain things a certain way, she should not only pay for it, she should compensate the wedding party in some small way for attending.
Richard Forester exactly!! entitlement mentality is becoming more and more extreme, people seem to want OTHERS to pay for their wedding, it's disgusting honestly
I asked my x2 bridesmaids to pick a dress they liked, they both wore black heels they already had. I didn’t care about accessories, nails etc. I paid for half the dress and makeup. One bridesmaid did her own hair the other used a hairdresser. We had the perfect wedding!
I recently got married and my bridesmaids paid for their dresses, shoes, mani/pedicures, and makeup. However, when I asked them to be a bridesmaid I didn't put a gun to their heads and forced them to. I was also mindful of their incomes. Dresses were $130 (they all agreed that it was doable), shoes were $20, hair was a $20 synthetic lacefront wig, and makeup was $60. I would never expect someone to pay $400 for a dress for my makeup. I purchased dancing shoes for all of them and their gifts. My girls looked lovely but it definitely was not super expensive. Agreeing to be in a bridal party is a financial obligation that people need to be honest about. If you can't afford it then just attend the wedding as a guest.
If it costs me money to go to a wedding, I'm not going. Why go into debt for someone else's big day? If they REALLY wanted you to come no matter what, they would pay for that stuff and incur the debt themselves. With this mind-set I don't get invited to weddings and I'm not missing a thing.
its a few hundred bucks lol you make it seem like it's a car they are buying. And if you treat your own brother or sister this way on their big day, I feel sorry for your family..
Some things are reasonably expected costs, the things presented here are not. While everyone must work within their own budget, the fact that you have no interest in sharing people's joy on their big day is rather sad.
I wouldn't want to go either. Why should I pay for every other person's wedding. They should pay for their own wedding within their own means. My whole extended family never makes us pay for their weddings. They pay for it, and you just show up with a gift. It's only friends and family friends that don't care about you're well being and only about themselves to make you pay for their wedding.
I had a sister-in-law (my late husband's sister) who, every birthday, anniversary, graduation, Chistmas, every gift-giving occasion, informed everyone in the family what they were expected to give to her children and step-children, right down to the make, model and color. When her eldest son got married (it was a very small wedding 2,000 miles away, and my husband was ill, so we weren't invited), we were informed that we were expected to give them a $3,000+ lawn mower/tractor. We sent a $500 Home Depot gift certificate. By the way, our daughter (my husband's step-daughter) never got anything from them. Ever.
I got the sense the caller's problem was less about the dollar amount for all the extra stuff, and more about how it was presented as mandatory to participate in the wedding. If the bride had shown some regard for their financial situation in presenting it, the dollar amount would be the same, but there'd be less resentment.
Would love to see follow up episodes on some of these calls. Normally I'd say skip the wedding but since this is family you might not want to rock the boat. I had so many friends getting married that kept asking me to be in weddings at $200-300 a pop here and there plus airfare and hotel half the time, I finally just had to start saying no. Some understand, some get pissy and never talk to you again, but then you realize they were never your friend to begin with. Hilariously 90% of them are now divorced and their marriage after their fancy expensive wedding only lasted 2-3 years if that. My two best friends who have had the most success with their marriages, one got married at the courthouse with a judge for under $100 and the other had a very small low key wedding with only family and a few friends.
She's not an exception by any means. Almost all women who plan expensive weddings think they are "Queen for A Day", so yes, it's all about them. This is quite the norm. But then there are women such as myself...who don't want or need the spotlight. A small intimate ceremony with just a handful of family--in a little country church was fine for me. Less than $100 BTW.
This is why you hear stories of grooms and braidmaids suddenly going ghost, and no one hears or speaks to them. Ive seen this happen a couple of times with weddings like this.
It's almost always a BURDEN to be in a wedding!!! Get off your high horse and pay for everything Ms. Bridezilla. Otherwise YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT. There's a reason I ran off to Vegas to get married. I didn't want to put anyone through the dreadful wedding experience. They are completely overrated and half these people end up divorced anyway.
In the UK the bridesmaids don't have any costs other than to pay for themselves on the hen do (bachelorette). That's why we typically only have between 1 and 4. I however had what we would consider alot at 6 plus 3 little flower girls so I asked the bridesmaids if they would pay for their hair to be done if they wanted it doing, I felt quite uncomfortable with asking but no one seemed to mind. Total cost to the bridesmaids with the hen do and hair less than $200. Total cost to me and my groom for the bridesmaids = $4,500 (My wedding, my expenses)
Should I go to an expensive wedding - NOPE. If they want their family there, expect that not all of them can pay TOWARD YOUR WEDDING. So many families have fallen out big style over this entitlement and then end up losing out on the company and support of their families in the future. If you put money over family, you deserve everything you get. NO ONE of meaning at your wedding. Ridiculous ask.
My husband and I spent $100 - dress, cake, minister, flowers, reception - and we’re still married after 47 years. It’s the person you marry that’s important, not the ceremony. We saved our money for a house.
Large weddings are a HUGE waste of money. I've been married twice; the first one I had "the big wedding" in a big church, hired expensive vendors, and bought the fancy dress. The second marriage, we got married at my in-laws home; talented family members took care of the cake, food, video, and photos; and friend who is a DJ provided music as our wedding gift. Guess which wedding was more beautiful AND more enjoyable? Spending tens of thousands of dollars on a party is completely absurd. Put that money in your reserve fund and get married at the house.
My parents don't get along at all. So when my husband and I eloped everyone in the family (mine and his) totally understood. I just can't stand family drama.
Maegan Byerley yea I’m not going to be able to have a party because no one on my mom’s side gets along. But hey, we get to save money so their drama is helping us
I had a friend who didn't have much for a wedding, they didn't spend anything out of pocket themselves. But there friends and family managed to put together a nice wedding for them for about $600.00 all total. Here's some of what was done, A friend made the wedding cake, and the grooms cake (which they insisted on). She had a beautiful dress for less than $250.00, The flowers and church decorations was taken care of by another friend (who was getting annoyed with there zero budget) in other words when ever asked what they had for a budget they would laugh about it and say they didn't have a budget. They were going to do sandwiches instead of food, but dropped that idea. Which turned out to be fine, they gave out these little dollar store bubble things from the dollar store as favors (came in packs of 6 for $1.00) which were totally exceptable, I don't even think everyone received one and nobody cared. Another friend took care of doing the photo's, and they came out fine. The bride did her own hair and makeup with a little help from family. They did pay the minister something for his services, but it was a token amount, and I know him he was fine with it. They wanted to have it under an arch outside, that was scrapped because it wasn't built quite right with one of her relatives having built it. To be honest with you, all her friends and family were starting to get a little fed up with the whole thing and wanted it over with at the end. The reason, the whole bridezilla thing was getting old fast. The bride would pout and such if she wasn't getting her way on all the details. The problem with that is changes in the details would end up costing other people money, and the laughing off of the zero budget wedding was getting old fast. She changed how she wanted her cake done, which meant that new decorating supplies had to be purchased. She bought a cake topper that would only look good on a very large cake. Which had to be baked along with the groom cake. They took a photo of a grooms cake at a bakery and wanted there's to look like that one. That meant that more specialty items needed to be purchased for that, on top of all the supplies which had been purchased for the actual wedding cake, which now had to be larger than normal because of the topper they bought. A similar thing happened with the flowers and such. I know one thing I will think twice about getting involved with a wedding again, and if I ever offer to make or bring something whether cake, flowers, or whatever, I will be very specific and limiting in what I would volunteer for or agree to. I now understand why professionals take deposits on all these things before hand because I know the bride would think twice about making changes (sometimes at the last minute) if the cost of those changes was going to come out of her pocket. I think friends and family are very understanding when trying to put together a wedding for a loved one or close friend. But things in the wedding industry have made expectations sky high for that one special day. The whole fairy tale princess thing around a wedding is way too much, and unless you have thousands of dollars to spend its hard for friends and family to match. And the professional wedding industry is going to push for these affairs to be more and more elaborate, because frankly they are going to make a profit every step of the way. So they push the bride and her family to just spend a little more,then a little more. A simple 3 tier wedding cake, oh no, not on your special day it only comes once in a lifetime. Flowers, a few simple arrangements, oh no, each pew in the church must have a decoration, fresh flowers all around, and a wedding ,Boocay for the bride, buttoners for the groom and his whole party. With parasols all decorated with elaborate arraignments. Thank you for allowing me this rant, I never complained about any of this at the time, and my loving husband was very understanding of all this nonsense.
Wow, that was an outrageous demand from bridezilla. I wonder if the bridezilla's husband has later called into the Ramsey Show "my wife is spending all our money"? The whole bridal industry these days is nuts.
My wife and I kept it small, we had a nice gathering with 22 people total. Arranged with a local restaurant for drinks and food even had a professional photographer and flowers we spent less than 4k for everything clothes included and kept the rest for our future together. I've talked to people who've spent 20k plus and that's crazy. That's a fine start for a down payment on a life long home. Not just throwing cash away.
My best friend asked me to be in his wedding. I said sure. Then later on he told me that the suit was going to cost $500. At the time I was making minimum wage. I had to politely decline. I told him you're my friend but I just can't afford that. He must have had a conversation with his fiance because a few days later he called me back with a different suit priced at $120.
When I got married I was very conscious about how much my bridal party had to spend. I went the cheaper route for them!!! Plus the jewelry set makes a great bridal gift.
Was just in a wedding this past weekend, as well as in 2017. It’s certainly not cheap and they’re exhausting! I told my husband that I don’t care whose getting married I won’t be participating in any for years. Extended family can get expensive with their events, birthdays, holidays, funerals, barbecues ugh especially mine. Thousands each and every year to hangout with these people.
If it were me, I would say sorry we cant attend. Hope its beautiful. Send a card and/or crystal like vase (Walmart sells some nice looking ones) and be done with it.
Weddings in the U.S. are just crazy nobody in Europe is doing it like that. People have to rethink "entitlement" and make sound decisions for themselves. Important is to chose the right partner not the most expensive dress for example.
i hate when brides do this to their bridesmaids-i understand the hair and makeup but matching pedicures and a $400 dress? gimme a break. when i got married i had a maid of honor-i let her choose her own dress/shoes and i paid for her hair and makeup. don't financially burden people to fulfill your own fantasy
*I know it’s standard in this culture but I have **_never_** understood asking someone to be in your wedding party and expecting them to pay for the dress, tux, shoes, hair and makeup that THEY select. It seems so tacky. Just. Ugh...*
All that freaking money so a couple people can walk down the aisle of some building, then say a couple words that the preacher tells them to say, then kiss each other, and walk back out. Heck, I would do it in the garage if it wouldn't offend people.
Weddings are just a stupid way to blow money. It's bad enough for a couple starting out to blow all that cash, but asking friends and family to spend a significant sum as well is just silly.
In our family, its normal for the bridesmaids to pay for their own hair, makeup and dress, but I didnt force them to do it at mine. I gave them the option of doing it themselves or going to a place they felt comfortable with. I didnt want a party or anything and I would have paid for that, but to force the people you supposedly love to cough up money they don't necessarily have is insane and very self centered.
She should not have to pay for those things ...paying and participating should be voluntary...Even if the caller had no debt...and a million in the bank...the request seems inappropriate especially since it's not her "friend" or "relative"
When my daughter got married she paid for all the girls in the wedding party to have hair make up and manicure and pedicure. When my cousin's son got married a few years ago we bought a present from their wedding list which we thought was a fair amount for a couple we didn't know we just happened to be related to them. Two nights before the wedding my cousin's husband rang my mother (he did not have the nerve to face us) to complain that the present was not good enough. My mother rang me and pleaded with me to increase it. I said no way. My husband had to hire a tux and I had to buy an outfit and when we got to the posh venue, we had to pay by the hour for the car park. There was practically no food and we had to leave at 9.00 pm because we could no longer afford the car park and when my cousin and her husband did a round of the tables they completely ignored us. We should have backed out and left them with the caterer bill for people who did not turn up. That was nearly twenty years ago too.
Weddings just cost too much sometimes and should just be simple and easy. When I look back I am glad mine was not a mega fancy super expensive wedding.
At my wedding I only required the bridesmaids and maid of honor buy dress and shoes. As a gift I gave them each an evening bag. I left it optional for them to do their hair and makeup. I also did not expect a gift from any of them, and said their gift was being for me on that day.
Me too, I only do funerals-out of respect. Even enemy's funerals, we shared SOMETHING prior to the "falling out". Weddings NO! They are the same thing, but w/ cake & prizes
You decided to get married, you pay for it. If your lucky people will buy things of your registry or slip you a envelope at the reception. Don't ask or expect.
This ones simple, tell her that you are honored that she wants you to be a part of her most special day and that you would absolutely love to be a part of it but you just can’t afford to meet the her requirements so you will have to decline.
Lost my best friend of 15 years because I refused to pay for all the expenses of her bachelorette party. She wanted us in specific matching outfits each day that we had to buy, she wanted us to pay for her to have a private suite, pay for all of her food and drinks and then wanted a "shopping day" that we were expected to foot the bill on as well.
Some are afraid to say no... I think its tacky for people who do this & expect it just tacky! its a hard no for me....then they want a gift Aswell!? Imagine their gift registry...smh
wow. my husband and I a beautiful wedding for 500. and that includes my new dress (my mother sewed it). it was small an simple just like I wanted. I don't understand expensive weddings.
I know a bride that did this to her bridesmaids. in addition she had a destination wedding so it was very expensive for her guests as well. The bride was shocked when she received NO gifts! after the wedding she started calling all her guests asking where her gifts were.
I hate it when people make plans with my wallet in mind. It's not really about the money but the effrontery really bothers me.
Binh Nguyen me too
I knew a pastor and his wife that was like that. They always wanted you to cover the bill or "help" them financially. They used their office as a crutch and tried to guilt people into thinking that God would be mad if they didn't help.
Binh Nguyen I agree! I wouldn’t go.
Agreed.
actually its the money that bothers me
Bridezilla planned a wedding that she can't afford and she now wants family and friends to pay for it? How about you plan a wedding that's within your budget. The fact that the caller makes 92k a year does not mean that bridezilla is entitled to her money.
L228 YES!!! ITA 100%!
agreed!
my wedding will cost $500, my honeymoon will cost $5000
That's the household income that doesn't mean that's how much she makes on her own
@@sirennoir258 I would as a caveat that NO man should never under any circumstances ever get married. PERIOD!
Me and my wife got married for $600 and it's been 17 years still together
I bought my wife for $600 been together 3 years
800 here, 11 years ago, no regrets here!
My husband and I got married at the courthouse, didn’t cost us a thing. We just celebrated our 23rd anniversary.
Same here. We’ve been married 16 yrs.
Smart couple! My wedding was $1,200. It was nice. Didn't have to buy any church decorations, since it was in December and the place was already decorated. Made lovely background pics.
I'm not spending a thousand dollars on someone else's wedding that's not my child.
✋👏
Given how marriages are today, I don't even give a present. They'll get a 10th anniversary present, but not a wedding day present.
Children can pay there own way. They'll figure out how when the money stops rolling in from from anyone else.
I remember having to pay for hotel, make up, hair, and clothes for my friend wedding and my income was very little. Now I know better but I would never put someone in that predicament when I get married. It’s not reasonable
My friend wanted me to spend between 4-6k for his wedding in a different country. I said I can't I'm overwhelmed with full time work and school. Needless to say, hes not my friend anymore lol oh well, a real friend would have understood the situation.
Etiquette says if a bride wants a specific hair/ makeup look for her bridesmaids she needs to foot the bill.
👍👍👍
When expectation meets reality!
Not every brides parents can pay for a wedding, the bride should of saved up
I paid for everyone to have hair and makeup. I didn’t even ask for the wedding party to chip in
At least go half.
I wanted to elope but my mom asked if she could throw me a little last minute wedding. I said yes and she threw me the prettiest, most inexpensive back yard wedding with my friends and family and my favorite flowers, sunflowers everywhere. Our friend was the person who married us and we played back yard games afterwards and ate. It was amazing and I'm so glad she did it. I can't imagine a more expensive wedding would have made me happier.
yep. Right on! It's supposed to be about love for one another, not a performance. Good for you guys!
That sounds fun and y’all have amazing memories. Good job!
My mom helped arrange a similar wedding in a friend’s backyard. They got friend chicken “catered” from a local grocery store, the mothers and grandmothers all made a salad for side dishes. I forget how they did the flowers but it was all planned within like a 2 month time span and everything turned out great.
Alot of time less is more and more is less
ApplePie521 don’t need a backyard. People gave weddings in public parks. Many you can reserve a section for private events. No need to go into huge debt for a wedding. Keep it low cost and spend a little more for a even better honeymoon if you like.
"And it's HIS brother, so THAT'S already pissin' you off" Gold. GOOOLLLDDD
Dave is not just a financial coach…he’s a life coach!
When Dave is not sure what to say next ... "What is your household income ?" Saves the day EVERYTIME ! 😹😹😹
SingingBeeize lol
LOL
My thoughts exactly! Lol
Bro that was my thought exactly.
For real 😂😂😂
I've heard that the higher the cost of the wedding, the higher the odds of divorce.
Evolving Ben I read that too! Maybe they put too much planning on the wedding and not the marriage!
It makes sense. A big wedding means that the couple starts their life together with massive debt. And putting more focus on having a "perfect" wedding than a good marriage is never a good idea.
MsBrendalina that’s not necessarily true. We’re having an expensive wedding but also have been saving since we got engaged and have a healthy savings outside of this wedding fund. But I get what you’re saying.
@@euenfheiejrj
There's nothing wrong with having a lavish wedding if you can afford it. But I just think it's a bad omen when couples put themselves into debt just to have a fancy wedding party
That tells me they're marrying for the wedding and not the marriage.
Every wedding I've been in, involved a bride who worked hard to keep dress prices low. NEVER expected us to pay for hair, makeup, or mani/pedis.
These requests are insane!
Why do people expect others to finance their own wedding is beyond me. YOU chose to have a big or expensive wedding, YOU should make sure you have the funds to pay for it. People's sense of entitlement is quite awful. I'd be scared to marry a woman like this. Trouble down the road almost guaranteed.
Exactly!
Socialism...
@Brad Smith funny because liberals stop republicans from cutting entitlements.
@Brad Smith taxation is theft.
I always wonder why men are attracted to entitled women.
I cannot believe I'm writing this. If you want to get married get out your own check book. What someone else makes is their business not yours. Why does everyone think they need to pitch in on a bill someone else generates? God, Dave called it right, she is "Bridezilla".
Tom Watson my husband was making over 6 figures when we got married we spent about 500.00 including on everything private wedding. We rather save and use our money for our dream vacation then on one day where the paper at the end is the same no matter what you paid for your wedding. This kind of stuff makes me glad I didn't have a traditional wedding.
+Rosalynn Weaver that is amazing.. good for you, really.. you two were raised right
I can’t believe you’re writing it either Tom, but by G-d, you’re right
8/22/20....AND the FUNNY thing is these ppl SHACK UP FOR YEARS & MANY EVEN HAVE KIDS---THEN decide to have a HUGE EXPENSIVE WEDDING!
I really think THE BIGGER & MORE EXPENSIVE WEDDINGS
END IN BIGGEST LEGAL FEES FOR DIVORCE! 😊
That’s very spot on ! & your 110% right what someone makes is there own business !
plan a wedding you can afford
Exactly.
SupremeVision... Yep! The wedding is one day. The family will be there until death.
Yes!! Couldn't agree more!
SupremeVision Right! You can have a beautiful affordable wedding within your means.
My wedding cost $2,000us, but I got my wife rings worth $50,000 because they last far longer than 1 day.
I could see Dave struggling to answer this wisely, because it is about boundaries and he is so right that not handling it well could have decades-long repercussions. I loved to see him take his time and think about it, and I found the answer was wise and helpful.
I feel terrible for the poor sap this woman is marrying.
GamerNRetro beta bucks Will feel the wrath of this harpy
He needs to sit down with his brother and go, "Dude! Really? You want to marry HER?!?!?" Dave sees the red flags. Don't worry about being the Wicked Witch of the West. I doubt the marriage would last 15 years.
Women like this are why MGTOW exists.
I doubt it will last that long. I'm saying 3-7
GamerNRetro Omg, I feel the same way. What man would marry a woman who makes such ridiculous requests? He is going to regret marrying such an entitled brat.
My guess is she's the one pushing for me marriage and in a few years she will be the one pushing for a divorce.
My daughter is in this phase of her life....being asked to participate in weddings. The behavior of this bride is standard bride behavior by today's norms. Destination bacchelorette parties, Multiple showers to attend or throw, rehearsal dinner and after party.... and the monetary cost doesnt include time off from work for travel or events.
It makes it extra hard to decline when the new norm is to ask your bridesmaid via a postal delivered box filled with custom coffee cup, handmade chocolates and toiletries along with a note saying " will you be my bridesmaid?"
My daughter ( who is newly married and getting out of debt) spent almost $1000 to participate in a wedding this past weekend. And it wasnt even what would be considered "flashy"!
The wedding industry is alive and well and our young people are fueling it.
Janie Werner
My wife tried this stuff with me before we got . I was in the military at the time and I wanted to wear my dress blues and since I was an no I could wear the sword. I planned on letting my brother have the free tux rental since he didn't have money at the time.when I told her that I was doing this I got the most demonic look I have ever seen on a person's face.she told me that was not happening. I looked at her and told her to her face in front of her family that if I can't wear my dress blues than the wedding won't happen end of discussion. Everyone looked at me like how dare you tell her no. I said you decide if what I wear is more important than I am to you. If so then marriage off.She was shocked when I stood my ground coupled with publicly putting it back on her influenced her decision. She finally relented I think more so because of bad she made herself look but her family still took her side which I understand. I told her that she better understand that I will not give in to your every whim and you will not get your way all the time. This set the tone from then and she knows that when I dig in on something that I will not give in. I have learned to pick my battles in this area and I have never lost my self respect.
Janie Werner this is the truth
I have not hadf the blessign to find Mr. Compatible. But if I was even ore blessed to marry a military guy, I would LOVE to have him wear the uniform.
I have never heard of such spoiled rich entitled wedding behavior. I dunno, even if I was asked to be apart of such an expensive wedding and contribute $1,000 .... I’d walk away.
Janie, you are absolutely right!!! My friends are all finally married off, lol, but the last few i participated in, cost in the 1000s. Brides do expect expensive showers, destination bachelorette parties and 300 dollar up-dos. Love ya Dave, but you are wrong with this one, times have changed. The last wedding I attended, best friend from college, insisted everyone stay at the same B & B, it was 320 dollars a night! Outrageous what money pits weddings have become for all involved.
I spent more being a bridesmaid for someone else’s wedding than my own wedding. NEVER again. Bride was ungrateful and I’m no longer friends with her. Also, my dog had an emergency $2500 surgery and her bridal party was upset I didn’t pay 150 to pitch in for a hotel I wasn’t even staying in because I was caring for my dog. The worst people. Lesson learned.
WHAT!! Oh Lord!
Same, my total wedding cost was $750 for a beautiful backyard get together. I had to foot the bill for everything as a bridesmaid and spent over $1200. Horrible.
I feel your pain
same experience
Just say, no thanks
Seems that some people want a party more than a marriage.
My wedding was $79...$25 for a marriage license, $50 to justice of the peace and $4 for parking. Still married 25 years later.
Myself also. I don't remember the exact cost but it was 38 years ago, JP and then a very small reception in the backyard 3 days later on a Sunday afternoon. Subway sandwiches and cupcakes. No regrets.
My wife and I got married with $300.00 to our name and 56 years later we don’t owe anyone anything and have no debt. Excellent financial management on my spouses part has enabled us to have three different houses and no mortgages. Life is good when you are in this position. Main rule don’t buy anything unless you can afford it! Thanks Dave Ramsey, my wife was using your advise before you started giving it! And it’s good advise
My husband and I had a very inexpensive wedding. We honestly just wanted to go to the courthouse. My in-laws insisted we have a wedding. So we got married in a wedding chapel with a very small number of people in attendance. My entire wedding was $1,000 and $350 was my wedding dress. Actually, my in-laws paid for everything. Neither Ben or I wanted to start our lives together in debt or broke. We didn’t have a honeymoon. We have been married 18 years and we have worked hard to build the life that we have. We have zero debt. We just paid off our house.
This is what it’s all about - congratulations! 🙌🏼
Courthouse. $20. Married 26 years. Took the money we saved for the wedding and had an awesome Honeymoon and a down payment on a house instead.
Spending huge on weddings is ridiculous. @uallspending5plusfiguresonweddings
K Yancy I’ve told my daughter from the start. I’ll help with college as I can, and please elope or just go to the courthouse and spend your money on a down payment on a house.
Smart
Married two years ago the same way. Save your money for other things. Friends were upset, but hey, we see them on the fourth Thursday of every month for dinner.
That's the way to do it.
We did the same thing. Used $ to pay off house.
I had something similar with my best mate when he got married. He'd asked me to be his best man which I would have loved to do. We live in the UK but he decided to have his wedding and honeymoon in Thailand and expected the guests to pay for not only their own flights but also their food and accommodation. At the time I'd just bought a new house with a large mortgage and had two young children. I couldn't afford to take my own family to Thailand and I wasn't prepared to get into debt to do it. I would have loved to go but had to decline to go. Unfortunately he took this badly and it damaged our relationship for many years afterwards. But I just didn't feel right going on my own when I couldn't afford to take my own family on holiday and I wasn't going to take out a loan or put it on a credit card.
That was no loss of friendship, worth mentioning!
You should pay for all of that. Its not the grooms responsibility to pay for that. However, they also have to understand when you do a destination wedding some people will not choose to go because of the finances.
I love small destination weddings especially if I’m not invited!
@@staceystrukel1917 That is a terrible thing to make a best man pay for anything. If you can not have a wedding you can afford, then don't. Have a simple wedding in your backyard. What a stupid tradition. If I organize any party, I pay for all of it. I don't make people pay to come to the party I am organizing.
One of my very good friends did a destination wedding. He and his wife got married in Hawaii because that is where he proposed to her. He was actually thinking of other people. He understood that most of us could not afford to fly out to Hawaii as well as the other expenses we would end up incurring. They invited only their immediate family and actually paid their expenses. I would have loved to hav attended, but completely understand why they did what they did. They put together a second reception in our town when they got back, complete with video wedding footage. We all had a great time and still got to celebrate their union.
I could never understand expensive weddings. What's the point? I can't believe what some people go through just to have a wedding. My husband and I got married for a few bucks at the courthouse 11 years ago. Other people we know spent thousands of dollars only to get divorced a few years later. I really don't believe that spending a fortune on a wedding means anything about how your marriage is going to turn out. I know that is beside the point of this call but I'm just stating my opinion.
I hear you on that. My wife and I spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $1500 bucks on ours. We had an intimate wedding with a few family and friends in a little country church. This past November 15th, we hit 27 years. I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
Nikkole because some people just want to be princess for a day on someone else’s dime. Ick.
To show off how in love they are an that the “have money “
From my experience, expensive weddings outside what the bride and groom can afford are to cover huge insecurities and an unstable relationship.
This lady may be earning $92,000 but she owes $46,000, excluding their house. They are seriously in debt so should only spend an amount they are happy with.
46,000 NOT including their house.
$92,000 is combined household income. So she's probably making less than half that.
They might not have any retirement savings either so they need to get out of debt. If she said they have 100k or so in retirement it may have been a little less painful. Student loans are the worst.
I got married in Aug 2018 and I told my bridesmaids (my two sisters and niece) that they can buy whatever dress as long as it was navy blue and I paid for their hair/makeup as a gift. Their dresses were absolutely beautiful and cost less than $40 from Amazon. Really irks me when I hear brides put so many demands on their bridal party.
When in August 2018? Ours was August 3rd.
love this!
The caller could be making $2 million/year. It still does not entitle this bridezilla to make the caller and other bridesmaids pay so much for a wedding. This marriage will end in divorce in a few years anyway.
23magneta didn’t she say 92? As in $92k?
emily anne yes she did. 23magneta was making the point that it doesn’t matter how much money the caller makes, meaning she could be even a millionaire, and it still wouldn’t give the bride the right to demand her bridesmaids pay for all these things. Hope that makes sense lol
I agree, I was confused as to why he asked what her income was, because it's irrelevant. She is not obligated to pay for all this stuff regardless of how much she makes. Bridezilla needs to get a clue and have a wedding she can afford to pay for herself. I would bow out of the wedding entirely- I do not take well to people telling me that they feel entitled to my money.
He asked bc if they were only earning 30k , he might have told them to say they can't pay for the dress and the tux either.
Yes😮
It doesn't matter if they make $92k a year. They're trying to get out of debt! Plus, requiring several hundred dollars per person to attend a wedding is ridiculous!
Dustin Nelson I think that was his filler question to buy some time to think of the right response
We spent $60 for our marriage license. We also spend a under $100 for my dress and tux and our family did a small cookout and I loved every second! It was so sweet and wonderful and you could really feel the love from everyone! So blessed to have married a humble, hardworking and honest man. His hard work and sacrifices are staring to make our dreams come true.
its not just about the money its the principle behind it. you don't ask people to spend that kind of money on your wedding without having a choice. He nailed it with Bridezilla.
Also this is a big sign off how is she is going to act down the road.
I wanted a simple church wedding, but thanks to my MIL, it turned into something pricier than I intended. My fiancé and I are working super hard to save up for the party. We created a budget and I researched prices for the things I want to incorporate into the wedding. But my MIL is angry and wants us to charge $150/plate. I said to her no. We will pay for it ourselves, because we can. Sometimes, it’s not the bride who’s doing not so classy stuff. Family can also be a pain.
The thing that kills me is that some of these brides come from very ordinary families in terms of status and income and want everyone to suddenly act as if she is royalty! Ridiculous !!!
Traditionally, asking the bridesmaid to pay for her own dress is the only requirement to participate in the wedding party. I wouldn't be in a wedding if I were asked to pay anymore than that.
This is exactly why my husband and I had an extremely small wedding and only had our parents as guests. I wanted my friends to still be my friends after I got married! Weddings have become such a scam.
Dude. Being a bridesmaid these days can be a huge financial commitment. Expectations get raised all of the time. Showers, parties, gifts, make up, hair, nails, over priced dresses no one really wants, shoes, trips.. the list goes on..
Patricia Newton AGREE
Not worth it
I paid $70 to get married in SC. I laugh at people that get $25K weddings.
I knew a guy...his bridezilla had a $50K wedding...then filed for divorce 6 months later...HAHA
My Aunt had 50k on rings then 80k on a wedding with a guy she got engaged to after knowing him 6 weeks. They were going to lawyers for a POST marital agreement when they got back from their honeymoon and filing for divorce 5 months after that
Wow, maybe the expenses drive them apart.
Six months? WTC!
Spending 50k on a wedding is pathetic. However, spending $70 on a wedding is just as pathetic.
😂 “she Does her own hair and make up every day and no one shot at us yet ....so.,,”. 🤣🤣🤣
On the surface, this may not seem like a big deal, it is. Sure, we are talking about an amount of money that the caller could afford, it doesn't mean she should have to. It's ridiculous and disrespectful that the bride is demanding this. If she wants certain things a certain way, she should not only pay for it, she should compensate the wedding party in some small way for attending.
Richard Forester exactly!! entitlement mentality is becoming more and more extreme, people seem to want OTHERS to pay for their wedding, it's disgusting honestly
Why do people need permission to say "no"?
I asked my x2 bridesmaids to pick a dress they liked, they both wore black heels they already had. I didn’t care about accessories, nails etc. I paid for half the dress and makeup. One bridesmaid did her own hair the other used a hairdresser. We had the perfect wedding!
I recently got married and my bridesmaids paid for their dresses, shoes, mani/pedicures, and makeup. However, when I asked them to be a bridesmaid I didn't put a gun to their heads and forced them to. I was also mindful of their incomes. Dresses were $130 (they all agreed that it was doable), shoes were $20, hair was a $20 synthetic lacefront wig, and makeup was $60. I would never expect someone to pay $400 for a dress for my makeup. I purchased dancing shoes for all of them and their gifts. My girls looked lovely but it definitely was not super expensive. Agreeing to be in a bridal party is a financial obligation that people need to be honest about. If you can't afford it then just attend the wedding as a guest.
Wedding present for the bride ....Financial Peace University!!!
👏🏽
Great perspective
If it costs me money to go to a wedding, I'm not going. Why go into debt for someone else's big day? If they REALLY wanted you to come no matter what, they would pay for that stuff and incur the debt themselves. With this mind-set I don't get invited to weddings and I'm not missing a thing.
Agreed. I stopped going all together. Most of them end up in divorce later anyway, and it's not like you're going to get a refund.
its a few hundred bucks lol you make it seem like it's a car they are buying. And if you treat your own brother or sister this way on their big day, I feel sorry for your family..
Viet PopLove when you're in debt, you have no money to spend. even if its couple of hundred dollars!
Some things are reasonably expected costs, the things presented here are not. While everyone must work within their own budget, the fact that you have no interest in sharing people's joy on their big day is rather sad.
I wouldn't want to go either. Why should I pay for every other person's wedding. They should pay for their own wedding within their own means. My whole extended family never makes us pay for their weddings. They pay for it, and you just show up with a gift. It's only friends and family friends that don't care about you're well being and only about themselves to make you pay for their wedding.
I had a sister-in-law (my late husband's sister) who, every birthday, anniversary, graduation, Chistmas, every gift-giving occasion, informed everyone in the family what they were expected to give to her children and step-children, right down to the make, model and color. When her eldest son got married (it was a very small wedding 2,000 miles away, and my husband was ill, so we weren't invited), we were informed that we were expected to give them a $3,000+ lawn mower/tractor. We sent a $500 Home Depot gift certificate. By the way, our daughter (my husband's step-daughter) never got anything from them. Ever.
I wouldn't have even sent them a gift card, after a request like that.
So why did you EVER start putting up with that? That's a nonstarter for me. I'd just look at like she was crazy.
Looks like you’re the foolish one, they got the better deal.
😲
Shouldn't have even sent her a $500 gift card
I got the sense the caller's problem was less about the dollar amount for all the extra stuff, and more about how it was presented as mandatory to participate in the wedding. If the bride had shown some regard for their financial situation in presenting it, the dollar amount would be the same, but there'd be less resentment.
ASimoneau yep!!!
ASimoneau wrong!
ASimoneau bingo
I agree 100%. This bride is a greedy control freak
In what world would the money amount be anything less than ridiculous?
Would love to see follow up episodes on some of these calls. Normally I'd say skip the wedding but since this is family you might not want to rock the boat. I had so many friends getting married that kept asking me to be in weddings at $200-300 a pop here and there plus airfare and hotel half the time, I finally just had to start saying no. Some understand, some get pissy and never talk to you again, but then you realize they were never your friend to begin with. Hilariously 90% of them are now divorced and their marriage after their fancy expensive wedding only lasted 2-3 years if that. My two best friends who have had the most success with their marriages, one got married at the courthouse with a judge for under $100 and the other had a very small low key wedding with only family and a few friends.
“ And it’s his brother so that’s already pissing you off”
I love it when Dave just totally calls it!
I had a 1500 wedding. And saved up for a down payment on our house
i love you.
The way to do it!!!💪🙌
Now that is sensible. All the huge expense for a couple of hours is crazy.
To the groom.....run far and quickly. This is a marriage disaster in the making. She thinks it’s HER day. It’s all bout her. Run Forrest Run.
She's not an exception by any means. Almost all women who plan expensive weddings think they are "Queen for A Day", so yes, it's all about them. This is quite the norm. But then there are women such as myself...who don't
want or need the spotlight. A small intimate ceremony with just a handful of family--in a little country church was fine for me. Less than $100 BTW.
Who said the groom isn’t bad like this bride lol
It is all about her idiot.
Dave’s experience not only in financial but also familial matters is priceless 👍🏻
I asked my bridesmaids to do their own hair and makeup. We paid for their dresses which were under $100. Problem solved.
This is why you hear stories of grooms and braidmaids suddenly going ghost, and no one hears or speaks to them. Ive seen this happen a couple of times with weddings like this.
It's almost always a BURDEN to be in a wedding!!! Get off your high horse and pay for everything Ms. Bridezilla. Otherwise YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT. There's a reason I ran off to Vegas to get married. I didn't want to put anyone through the dreadful wedding experience. They are completely overrated and half these people end up divorced anyway.
I don't plan to have a wedding party even if I find someone, I am not exactly sociable in general 🤷♀️
Ridiculous weddings that they go in debt paying and then end up divorced.
In the UK the bridesmaids don't have any costs other than to pay for themselves on the hen do (bachelorette). That's why we typically only have between 1 and 4. I however had what we would consider alot at 6 plus 3 little flower girls so I asked the bridesmaids if they would pay for their hair to be done if they wanted it doing, I felt quite uncomfortable with asking but no one seemed to mind. Total cost to the bridesmaids with the hen do and hair less than $200. Total cost to me and my groom for the bridesmaids = $4,500
(My wedding, my expenses)
Laura Stinton same with our wedding (Filipino). I didn't want to burden anyone, we paid for dresses/makeup/suits. 😁
This was 6 yrs ago...i would love an update about the wedding.
You shouldn't have to jump thru hoops for other people to say "I Do".... ridiculous.
Should I go to an expensive wedding - NOPE. If they want their family there, expect that not all of them can pay TOWARD YOUR WEDDING. So many families have fallen out big style over this entitlement and then end up losing out on the company and support of their families in the future. If you put money over family, you deserve everything you get. NO ONE of meaning at your wedding. Ridiculous ask.
My husband and I spent $100 - dress, cake, minister, flowers, reception - and we’re still married after 47 years. It’s the person you marry that’s important, not the ceremony. We saved our money for a house.
Large weddings are a HUGE waste of money. I've been married twice; the first one I had "the big wedding" in a big church, hired expensive vendors, and bought the fancy dress. The second marriage, we got married at my in-laws home; talented family members took care of the cake, food, video, and photos; and friend who is a DJ provided music as our wedding gift. Guess which wedding was more beautiful AND more enjoyable? Spending tens of thousands of dollars on a party is completely absurd. Put that money in your reserve fund and get married at the house.
If someone doesn't like my hair the way it naturally falls, they shouldn't invite me to their wedding I guess
My parents don't get along at all. So when my husband and I eloped everyone in the family (mine and his) totally understood. I just can't stand family drama.
Maegan Byerley yea I’m not going to be able to have a party because no one on my mom’s side gets along. But hey, we get to save money so their drama is helping us
I had a friend who didn't have much for a wedding, they didn't spend anything out of pocket themselves. But there friends and family managed to put together a nice wedding for them for about $600.00 all total. Here's some of what was done, A friend made the wedding cake, and the grooms cake (which they insisted on). She had a beautiful dress for less than $250.00, The flowers and church decorations was taken care of by another friend (who was getting annoyed with there zero budget) in other words when ever asked what they had for a budget they would laugh about it and say they didn't have a budget. They were going to do sandwiches instead of food, but dropped that idea. Which turned out to be fine, they gave out these little dollar store bubble things from the dollar store as favors (came in packs of 6 for $1.00) which were totally exceptable, I don't even think everyone received one and nobody cared. Another friend took care of doing the photo's, and they came out fine. The bride did her own hair and makeup with a little help from family. They did pay the minister something for his services, but it was a token amount, and I know him he was fine with it. They wanted to have it under an arch outside, that was scrapped because it wasn't built quite right with one of her relatives having built it. To be honest with you, all her friends and family were starting to get a little fed up with the whole thing and wanted it over with at the end. The reason, the whole bridezilla thing was getting old fast. The bride would pout and such if she wasn't getting her way on all the details. The problem with that is changes in the details would end up costing other people money, and the laughing off of the zero budget wedding was getting old fast. She changed how she wanted her cake done, which meant that new decorating supplies had to be purchased. She bought a cake topper that would only look good on a very large cake. Which had to be baked along with the groom cake. They took a photo of a grooms cake at a bakery and wanted there's to look like that one. That meant that more specialty items needed to be purchased for that, on top of all the supplies which had been purchased for the actual wedding cake, which now had to be larger than normal because of the topper they bought. A similar thing happened with the flowers and such. I know one thing I will think twice about getting involved with a wedding again, and if I ever offer to make or bring something whether cake, flowers, or whatever, I will be very specific and limiting in what I would volunteer for or agree to. I now understand why professionals take deposits on all these things before hand because I know the bride would think twice about making changes (sometimes at the last minute) if the cost of those changes was going to come out of her pocket. I think friends and family are very understanding when trying to put together a wedding for a loved one or close friend. But things in the wedding industry have made expectations sky high for that one special day. The whole fairy tale princess thing around a wedding is way too much, and unless you have thousands of dollars to spend its hard for friends and family to match. And the professional wedding industry is going to push for these affairs to be more and more elaborate, because frankly they are going to make a profit every step of the way. So they push the bride and her family to just spend a little more,then a little more. A simple 3 tier wedding cake, oh no, not on your special day it only comes once in a lifetime. Flowers, a few simple arrangements, oh no, each pew in the church must have a decoration, fresh flowers all around, and a wedding ,Boocay for the bride, buttoners for the groom and his whole party. With parasols all decorated with elaborate arraignments. Thank you for allowing me this rant, I never complained about any of this at the time, and my loving husband was very understanding of all this nonsense.
Wow, that was an outrageous demand from bridezilla. I wonder if the bridezilla's husband has later called into the Ramsey Show "my wife is spending all our money"?
The whole bridal industry these days is nuts.
My wife and I kept it small, we had a nice gathering with 22 people total. Arranged with a local restaurant for drinks and food even had a professional photographer and flowers we spent less than 4k for everything clothes included and kept the rest for our future together. I've talked to people who've spent 20k plus and that's crazy. That's a fine start for a down payment on a life long home. Not just throwing cash away.
He has no debt. She has 30k+ in student loans and 11k on her car. We owe 250k on the house. There are bigger problems than this wedding.
I would write up a contract , if the marriage dissolves withing 15 years you get your money back....
Ha ha I like this idea. Except make it less years.
My best friend asked me to be in his wedding. I said sure. Then later on he told me that the suit was going to cost $500. At the time I was making minimum wage. I had to politely decline. I told him you're my friend but I just can't afford that. He must have had a conversation with his fiance because a few days later he called me back with a different suit priced at $120.
When I got married I was very conscious about how much my bridal party had to spend. I went the cheaper route for them!!! Plus the jewelry set makes a great bridal gift.
Was just in a wedding this past weekend, as well as in 2017. It’s certainly not cheap and they’re exhausting! I told my husband that I don’t care whose getting married I won’t be participating in any for years. Extended family can get expensive with their events, birthdays, holidays, funerals, barbecues ugh especially mine. Thousands each and every year to hangout with these people.
If it were me, I would say sorry we cant attend. Hope its beautiful. Send a card and/or crystal like vase (Walmart sells some nice looking ones) and be done with it.
charles0322mrsdani it’s his brother and I’m sure he wants to be there.
Refuse to attend your own brother's wedding and you are never going to live it down, as Dave said
And you’re the witch for the next 25 years 🤪
I've seen it happen more than once. The more extravagant the wedding the shorter the marriage.
I would hate to see the ring she is demanding. I hope the groom keeps a separate bank account.
Weddings in the U.S. are just crazy nobody in Europe is doing it like that. People have to rethink "entitlement" and make sound decisions for themselves. Important is to chose the right partner not the most expensive dress for example.
It's the women driving it. The whole thing is to "one up" their peers and post on their social media.
Sounds ridiculous to me. More like a status wedding.
A status wedding of choice. LOL!
i hate when brides do this to their bridesmaids-i understand the hair and makeup but matching pedicures and a $400 dress? gimme a break. when i got married i had a maid of honor-i let her choose her own dress/shoes and i paid for her hair and makeup. don't financially burden people to fulfill your own fantasy
*I know it’s standard in this culture but I have **_never_** understood asking someone to be in your wedding party and expecting them to pay for the dress, tux, shoes, hair and makeup that THEY select. It seems so tacky. Just. Ugh...*
Spent less than £250 to get married. I feel like it's a huge win in life. 🌟
All that freaking money so a couple people can walk down the aisle of some building, then say a couple words that the preacher tells them to say, then kiss each other, and walk back out. Heck, I would do it in the garage if it wouldn't offend people.
Can we say, "HIGH MAINTENANCE?" Run dude...
That guy is receiving so many red flags.
Weddings are just a stupid way to blow money. It's bad enough for a couple starting out to blow all that cash, but asking friends and family to spend a significant sum as well is just silly.
In our family, its normal for the bridesmaids to pay for their own hair, makeup and dress, but I didnt force them to do it at mine. I gave them the option of doing it themselves or going to a place they felt comfortable with. I didnt want a party or anything and I would have paid for that, but to force the people you supposedly love to cough up money they don't necessarily have is insane and very self centered.
“No one’s shot at us yet...” 😂🤣 I’m dying!
She should not have to pay for those things ...paying and participating should be voluntary...Even if the caller had no debt...and a million in the bank...the request seems inappropriate especially since it's not her "friend" or "relative"
When my daughter got married she paid for all the girls in the wedding party to have hair make up and manicure and pedicure. When my cousin's son got married a few years ago we bought a present from their wedding list which we thought was a fair amount for a couple we didn't know we just happened to be related to them. Two nights before the wedding my cousin's husband rang my mother (he did not have the nerve to face us) to complain that the present was not good enough. My mother rang me and pleaded with me to increase it. I said no way. My husband had to hire a tux and I had to buy an outfit and when we got to the posh venue, we had to pay by the hour for the car park. There was practically no food and we had to leave at 9.00 pm because we could no longer afford the car park and when my cousin and her husband did a round of the tables they completely ignored us. We should have backed out and left them with the caterer bill for people who did not turn up. That was nearly twenty years ago too.
I paid for my daughters wedding.
But I wouldn’t pay a penny to attend someone else’s wedding.
It's not right to put people in this position.
Use your brain ladies! (...the groom usually doesn't pull this crap)
Weddings just cost too much sometimes and should just be simple and easy. When I look back I am glad mine was not a mega fancy super expensive wedding.
This bride could do so many of these activities for less.
At my wedding I only required the bridesmaids and maid of honor buy dress and shoes. As a gift I gave them each an evening bag. I left it optional for them to do their hair and makeup. I also did not expect a gift from any of them, and said their gift was being for me on that day.
This is why I’m 36 years old and haven’t been to a wedding in more than a decade. I tear up the invites at this point.
Me too, I only do funerals-out of respect. Even enemy's funerals, we shared SOMETHING prior to the "falling out". Weddings NO! They are the same thing, but w/ cake & prizes
You decided to get married, you pay for it. If your lucky people will buy things of your registry or slip you a envelope at the reception. Don't ask or expect.
This ones simple, tell her that you are honored that she wants you to be a part of her most special day and that you would absolutely love to be a part of it but you just can’t afford to meet the her requirements so you will have to decline.
Dave from Houston here, big fan love your channel and your ability to help anyone indiscriminately is heart warming! :)
I remember how shocked i was when i was invited to a wedding but had to pay 100$. Did not go.
LOSER!
Lost my best friend of 15 years because I refused to pay for all the expenses of her bachelorette party. She wanted us in specific matching outfits each day that we had to buy, she wanted us to pay for her to have a private suite, pay for all of her food and drinks and then wanted a "shopping day" that we were expected to foot the bill on as well.
she was no friend...
That was over the top. Guessing her marriage didn’t last.
"She knows how to paint her own barn." ~Dave Ramsey, aka Rich Foghorn Leghorn.
Bridzilla marriages never last, or at least not happily
I am watching this in Oct. of 2019. I’m wondering if this marriage is still working.
relsba me too
Are people really this foolish and pay all this money toward other people's weddings?
Some are afraid to say no...
I think its tacky for people who do this & expect it just tacky!
its a hard no for me....then they want a gift Aswell!? Imagine their gift registry...smh
wow. my husband and I a beautiful wedding for 500. and that includes my new dress (my mother sewed it). it was small an simple just like I wanted. I don't understand expensive weddings.
I know a bride that did this to her bridesmaids. in addition she had a destination wedding so it was very expensive for her guests as well. The bride was shocked when she received NO gifts! after the wedding she started calling all her guests asking where her gifts were.