After 36 yrs of marriage, I only started hearing about narcissist abou two yrs ago, it answers alot of questions...especially the one "am I losing my mind"
Same here! My narc brothers horrid behaviour rattled me to my core...and I turned to the internet for answers! Discovered Dr Ramani, discovered Narcissim...and realised how my Mom is the biggest narc, my sis the golden child and possible covert narc, my father the big enabler and possibly a covert narc as well!!! Phew! I now realise it was okay to not feel okay about my family all these years! And I am 54!!!
@Sleetstorm Your response is completely dismissive of the fact that people are suffering everyday at the hands of narcissists. It’s not a “new fad.” It’s only newly publicized. It’s now being talked about because narcs seldom believe their behaviors are problematic and don’t seek professional help. They do everything behind closed doors to maintain their image publicly. These decades-old behaviors finally have a name. The type of emotional, mental, psychological abuse is most times worse than getting physically abused. Their behavior is so sneaky and manipulative, it’s hard for anyone to believe you; they don’t believe your spouse could do such a thing or be such a person. You’re completely isolated at that point, a shell of the person you used to be, and literally made out to look like you’re crazy…that’s how these demons operate. To say “it’s a new fad” mocks those suffering for decades and didn’t know how to explain their messed up relationship/life. Now this deranged disorder and the traits of these abusers are being brought to light. People are completely valid in now discovering that something is very wrong and get the help they need to work through it and heal.
Dr. Ramani , you are so understanding and so accurate. your mode of passing the information is as eloquent as can be. Thank you and bless you for the hope and understanding you offer.
Dr Ramani sorry to hear about your long history with narcissistic relationships. Your trauma channelled into helping others is commendable!!! You are a very rare gem!!! 💎
Much love to you as you work your way out & begin moving forward into the light.💖💖 I left a 7-yr marriage to a narcissist & my self doubt & his indifference (& sometimes cruelty) were painful & hard but I made it and SO WILL YOU! 💙 Every step of the way, try to remember you are not alone, & you deserve a medal for every step you make. Try to be kind to yourself & know life will eventually be much, much better, and much, much happier! You deserve to be loved and supported. 🙏🏼💖
@@bumblebee_ms if I may be honest, he still lives in my apartment …I don’t know how to get him out …he doesn’t speak to me for 2 months now 😭😭…I am afraid to confront him
This is a very fair statement but think about it if you truly learn what narcissism is how it’s here in the first place, and why people don’t notice it until it happens to them, well you pretty much are a mind reader. I’ve been able to help people going through it just by what I’ve learned from Dr. Ramani.
Dr. Ramani is so lovely! She is honest and wise and firm in what she knows! Whenever I listen to the video where Dr. Ramani is speaking, it feels like she is a personal therapist, as well as a parental figure who mirrors back to those of us who listen our experience, affirming our words, and understanding what we are going through. It is so vital to healing to have someone tell you they understand! I can’t say enough good things about her! Right now, I am reading her new book and loving it and highly recommend it to anyone who is in a relationship with a narcissist in any capacity. Thank you Lisa, and thank you, Dr. Ramani, for these informative, insightful and helpful videos! The Lord bless you both! 🙏🏻🕊️
Thank you again ladies for this. I have forever been changed by narcissism in my life. I’m consciously finding my grounding again. I’m in total shock and disbelief, dare I say traumatized by the situations I’ve been falsely brought into. Half of my life seems like just a lie. I’m recovering. Thank you ladies.
Thank you so much for your honesty, transparency and vulnerability my homie! You are not alone and we are here to help support you as you go on your recovery journey! This community is very near and dear to me and your voice here matters!
@@LisaBilyeu thank you so much. This is confusing and draining. Every choice I make has a consequence I’m fully aware of now. I’m trying to stay physically, mentally and emotionally safe. Thank you again. 🙏🏽
@@tracysnipes2144 I pray one day the pain we suffered will be so distant from our memory as if it was actually another lifetime ago. We are forever changed and new. Now we can be New and Great! Peace and Wellness to you. 🙏🏽✨🙏🏽
I'm really struggling and I was only in a relationship with a narcissist for 7 months, so I really feel for and can't imagine how difficult it is for those who were in years-long marriages. So sorry to everyone who's tried so hard to please, fix things, be strong, loyal and compassionate yet received abuse in return. It really messes with your sanity. May we all recover.
Even after 7 months you can come out of that relationship being seriously emotionally destabilized. Wish you the best and the strength to leave it all behind you. X
Yeah, it’s like walking on eggshells to minimize any abuse or wondering when again the abuse is going to start again. The ruminating is about the injustice of it. You go over and over the interaction because you don’t understand why you are bringing abused and how you are supposed to cope with it. There’s a ring leader too amongst my siblings orchestrating a hate campaign against me.
Dr. Ramani, your descriptions of yourself and the aftermath of narcissistic abuse had me nodding my head throughout When your used to accepting that most people won't understand or relate to my experiences, and some may even question my credibility, it can be such a relief and so grounding to spend a little time with people who do see us and understand our pain.
@@jenchristianrn1exactly what I was thinking, we need to be seen in our suffering ! Most of us don't have any Support group, friends left by the Time we realize ! why and how it happened over the long Years!
When my husband is around me i begin to be anxious and feel like something is going to happen... he is a narcisist who loves to abuse me mentaly, psysically, financially and all ways he can... and i can't do this anymore... i am done! My stress levels are high always when he comes around!
Are u ok? If ur stuck, mk a plan to leave, do something to move towards it every day, big or small and you’ll get there. Document the abuse. All of it. Get video or audio. Write dates and incidents in a notebook and HIDE IT. I hope ur ok. But you’ll need it for court. Document everything.
I agree. Don’t let the narc know you’re leaving. I made a huge mistake when he threatened me that he was leaving “in a month” (every month, but he wouldn’t). I was so mad and fed up and said “good, me and my (adult) son already talked, we are good with that.” And then all bets were off. Who knew he could get worse? But oh man did he. I never imagined he’d retaliate to that degree as crazy as he could be. Don’t underestimate a narcissist’s revenge. Dr. R is 100% correct.
What I hate the most is allowing myself to be hoovered when I am at my most vulnerable. So true that "empathy is not something that you can turn off". My malignant narcissist parent just passed away. I found myself crying that he was suffering before he died. Then I got hoovered by a sibling. Even though I knew better, after 2 months straight of constant calling me for advice and support as our parent was ill, I about 90% believed that she had changed. Where I live we are at War. 2 nights ago there was a major potentially deathly attack on us. My sibling lives in another country, so I called for support. This was the first time in her over 50 years of life I allowed myself to show her that I was frightened. So I raised my voice, and while I was on video chat, and getting updated orders from our Home Front Command, I said "sh*t" at every update. I was accused of speaking in an "angry tone of voice" and "how dare I cuss in front of their teenager". I felt so hurt. I was under threat of possibly being killed, but my behavior was invalidated as inappropriate. I received many written messages attacking my behavior. Thank G-d our Defense systems shot down 99% of the missiles headed for us. But my sibling continued to write about my inappropriate behavior from her safe home in her country far away. I kept hearing Dr. Ramani saying, " No empathy, invalidating, gaslighting= narcissist." So, for the first time in my life I wrote back, knowing full well that it would make no difference, that I expected my sibling to show compassion for my situation and give support, not get a lecture that my actual panicked behavior was an attack on you from anger. I felt better saying what I felt, even knowing that my sibling enabled by the spouse of the sibling, who was used as proof that my tone was "angry". I was blessed that same night to receive very worried and supportive messages from friends and cousins who live in my sibling's country. I had to work really hard not to ruminate on my behavior that night, that I had called that sibling for support, and that sibling's response. Only a week before, and before our parent passed away, I was called because my sibling was extremely upset over a colleague's not nice post on a group chat. My sibling actually went from being really hurt to rage while on the call, screaming at me. And later wrote an apology to me, which I responded with that it was unnecessary, because I am probably a safe space. Here I was in what my whole country thought was an imminent existential threat, but attacked for raising my voice and saying "sh*t". I guess that I may actually be ruminating after all. Well, our parent's funeral was only a few days ago. I guess I need to be kinder to myself. Am I going to be vulnerable to being hoovered and then abused by a narcissist whenever I am stressed? No one has any idea how long this War will last so it is stressful. Up to my parents' passing, I have been able to somewhat find times to not feel stressed, and enjoy myself. But I am having flashbacks from my childhood, and feeling sad during this mourning phase, so am particularly vulnerable. By the way, I am the "Truth Teller or Truth seer child" of my family.😢
I swear to God, I've had the exact same conversations as Dr. Ramani, with other people, over the last 30 years. However, Dr. Ramani is the one who helped me understand, that, it wasn't normal.
Omg! This video. Came at the right time. I have been thinking all week, how can I be a fooled to believed him( covert/vulnerable narcissist) Gave him another chance but to be played again. Yes I get rid of him a week ago but I blamed myself for wasting another 7 months than I should've never gave him in my life again. After he wasted 7yrs before that. Thank you to both of you.
I experienced the following at the beginning of the relationship- We went out with a friend he hadn’t seen in a while. I was excited that I was being introduced to his friend. We had a good time. And the next day he said to me that his friend warned him about me because I gave out a negative energy. He felt that I was going to cause trouble for him in his life. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing him say. At the time, I thought I was in the hands of a special person but little did I know!
Dr. Ramani’s content has TRULY been life changing for me. When I was a little girl I was at the grocery store with my mom who was being difficult with workers or management as she usually was when we were out. I was embarrassed and kept my distance every time. I will NEVER forget a random lady passing by asking if that was my mom and then saying, “I’m sorry” in a truly compassionate way. Now that I know all these years later that my mom is in fact a grandiose narcissist, that lady at the grocery store’s comment makes so much sense. Content like this validates my experiences that were ALWAYS gaslighted.
The Bible says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick". I'm no longer feeling heartsick mode. I'm hoping in something way more positive with way better dividends.
That is how I felt in my relationship. Always hoping. I had an anxiety attack and made him move out. He then broke up with me. Now, I'm beating myself up for making him move out and therefore triggering the break up. I miss him so much even though he only gave me breadcrumbs.
Thank you for posting your video, it has given me so much information on how to deal with a narcissist. My story is I had a narcissist mother and she died. I put up with emotional abuse for years. I have a narcissist sister who would treat me just like my mother did. I have learned to walked away and I no longer have to put myself in the abuse. I am healing.
There’s nothing wrong with having a smaller circle of relationships. I’m a dozen years older than Dr. R. and I feel like we were twins separated at birth. So blessed to have lived long enough to UNDERSTAND what happened to me.
You lady's are hitting the nail on the head. This episode is completely compounding emotions. Understanding survival mode as humans or mama's if you will. Sincerely hits home
Oh my. I remember knowing 20 years ago that I should not care what other people want, not care about anyones expectations, but then I went and did it all anyway. It all feels so futile.
I was suicidal 20 years ago, after my narcissistic boyfriend discarded of me. Talking about that with him now, he called me a coward, because so many sick people who want to live don't get the chance. I shot back with 'well maybe these sick people have loving people around them, something I'm lacking!'
Wow, I feel so foolish for not recognizing the pattern. All these years, I thought she was unhappy because I failed her! You've opened my eyes, but now I'm deeply disappointed, realizing I was paying the highest price to fix something that was already broken.
When I started dating a love bombing narcissist I'd never even heard of a narcissist. Scariest, worst relationship I've ever had !!! For about a year I dated him. I can't imagine the damage it does to someone that's been in a LONG term relationship and has children with a narcissist my Lord 🙏🏽 I've been single and celibate since and that was 12 years ago!! I started listening to Dr R , also a couple other doctors and that's when I finally understood what I'd gotten myself involved in. I literally had to escape ✈️ then go to the police 🚓🚨 to make the sick narcissist stop stalking me !!! 3 years of healing from this crazy dude after a 1 year relationship!! He'd been talking about us moving in together and thank God I didn't agree on that , never wanted to live together with a man unless we were married since I bought my own home. So thankful I also turned down his marriage proposal twice!!
The hardest part of being in a narcissistic relationship is realizing that you don't have friends that you can turn to. They all see the narcissist as a swell, loving and successful person. You wind up being more alone in the relationship than when you were living by yourself.
Narcissist do shift.. If you say stop calling me these names.. They stop for a few months but, start again with different names to call you and instead of calling you stupid they now say do you hear yourself and how stupid you sound. Then they say I didn't call you stupid just the things that come out of your mouth. They just start their control, bulling you in a slight different way.
That’s still gaslighting and manipulative. That’s not a shift either . You can’t tell them what hurts bc it only gives them more ammunition and they will use sneakier tactics . It is more psychological abusive to hear “ do you see how dumb you sound “ opposed to just being called stupid . It is insidious bc they will gaslight the hell out of you “ I didn’t say that “ yet now they just have us gaslighting ourselves ! I am such an idiot was the main phrase of most my life yet I wasn’t CALLED ONE OUT RIGHT . they get us to abuse ourselves and act like they have nothing to do w it !
“Meaning out of suffering…” so true. Back then…you don’t know what you don’t know…speed forward 36 years clarity confidence conviction in your beliefs…it’s a journey; we live we learn if we’re smart. ❤
I learned too late, but now I have a word that describes the insanity I was in. It wasn't some grand delusion. I knew enough to know something was wrong.
Truly helped me save my mental health, I'm now 2 months out of a 4.5 year relationship with an extreme Narcissistic man. After my boss was one as well. I'm healing, getting healthier. It's slow but I've read your book once and now about to start it again ty ty ty. I now know" ITS NOT ME!"
This brought me to tears, she described everything I have gone through and the confusion i have been facing trying to put the pieces together... WOW Wish i can get therapy from her
You are so so right. It’s absolutely disgraceful the minimizing of this. I got so angry during my recovery, I’m like these people are walking around, accepted by society, I might be served by one.. how is this OKAY? it should be super criminal xx
I admire and respect you Dr. Ramani! I love all of your smart and informative videos! You remind me of my fathers sister, my aunt, who was a math teacher, guidance counselor, and worked for an attorney when she retired, she was smart, intelligent , and kind, just like my father was! I was so blessed to have them in my life. I encouraged my daughter to get an education, she has just graduated from a university with a bachelor's degree! Such a wonderful accomplishment for her, I am so proud of her! I hope to go back to school eventually too, to get a degree myself! Thank you Dr. Ramani I appreciate you so very much for all of your help on this topic!❣️
I'm done done done with a toxic person still thinking about all the awful things she said although some indirect in front of other people it's quite an involved situation but I don't want to interact at all with her anymore because of a hell of a lot of reasons , thank you your podcasts help me stay strong
I can relate to not regretting leaving the relationship I never thought I could of given myself more and now knowing what I do I'm glad I went through it to know and experience and not make the same mistake I now no longer care or wonder what happened to my ex who was an abusive narcissist.
For me it took being a cancer survivor to get to the point of not caring what other people think and doing what makes me happy. Of course it’s a daily process because people pleasing tendencies are so ingrained in us, especially as a woman. I did date a narcissist for three years and I’m still healing from the emotional abuse I endured from him. Love this interview thanks ❤
Lisa, every time you do a segment, I feel the world becoming stronger, better. Love Dr. Rahmani. She has opened up my eyes. My brother is a miserable narc, with my mother being the enabler. Just because they’re family, it doesn’t mean you’re stuck. There’s no such thing as a Hallmark Family. Love yourself, go find safety,
Brilliant. I get told off by friends - you should leave you should run away but I am me and I give people chances . ( and I don’t regret them ) But I do believe when it’s the end it’s the end . AND You feel it coming ( so weird there’s a feeling of knowing or of growing boredom or something that seems to happen ) and then it’s done . Thank you Dr Ramani as always . You have helped me so much
In the past 12 years things have changed so much! Twelve years ago I was seeking high & low for help but couldn't find it. Now there are so many resources and a comprehensive understanding of narcissism.
Amazing. I felt this hard. I have been in therapy for 20 years. Was married to a narcissist who did these things. And only after I left him, people came out with "he didn't seem rjght" "he acted controlling" " we didn't trust him"... but my therapist kept telling me I needed to take blame for HIS BEHAVIOR. She even knew he was being physically abusive ontop of emotionally abusive. But she told me I needed to take responsibility for my part in the things he did to me. And would tell me I need to apologize for upsetting him (resulting in a beating or a gun to my head). So therapists I've seen didn't report it, and told me I WAS THE REASON he did these terrible things. Even when he got in a bunch of legal issues, the judge and DA who had 10 years of abuse given to her, BLAMED ME! And said I was unhealthy for him. And now I question if I'm a bad person and all my relationships are gone now. No friends or family and the therapist dropped me, and then I even got a letter stating I wasn't taking responsibility for things and they would no longer see me in the entire clinic, hospital, ER...etc.
It is messed up, we put up all this Year's turns us to a diff. person! Even many years we don't know what's going on and address it, how can you expect the others to understand you! Most people wouldn't imagine how messed up person can get true many years of abuse 😔
Dr Ramani, thank you so much! Saying that when you are out in tge rain, you didn't create the wet. I have been for so long saying that so many therapists & psychiatrists treat people in a vacuum, as if everything is generated internally & outside interacts & abuse & neglect & gaslighting & confusing demands don't have anything to do with anxiety, depression, nightmares, & so much more. It is time for the medical worldto ask questions about home life, work life, & relationships. Thank you so, so much!
Listening to you ladies always helps me realize I am not crazy n’ that I can overcome these aspects of my life. Thank you so much for all this content, literally saving my life*
much 💛 love to Dr. Ramani, and to you too, Lisa. And yes it can for sure be a very different depth and empathy when you have gone through that stuff AND studied it for your whole life... I do think there might be excellent therapists with depth and empathy that have not gone through all that dirt, but i think they are exceptions. Really, it's hard to find excellent therapists when you have a high level of trauma.
If narcissists become your “forever stalkers” when you leave or they “discard” you it really gives you a sense of hopelessness in life. For the rest of your life you have to look over your shoulder. And they could come at you with any kind of attack, and ones you don’t see you just find your life is starting to fall apart around you for some reason. There is no therapist or psychologist that can help you with this. What is the point if you have to spend your life as a the target of a “hit man” that you never know when or where they will appear. But you KNOW they are out there planning your downfall. Where does the joy in life ever come back from something like that? You can spend all the time in the world healing from abuse but on the end the “hit man” is going to get you. There are no words that can help console this kind of existence. Existing becomes pointless and dark with no hope, just the dread of living and knowing that you could be taken out at any time. Can have as many therapy sessions as you want, it will not change the fact that they are coming for you.
My mother is a narcissist. More than my brother or dad. It was hard to tell if my brother or dad are narcissistic but they have some traits of narcissism. But my mom is a full blown narcissist. And an alcoholic too
It always need not be sexual abuse always.. Some people are born without the empathy part in the brain and some don't develop it due to varied reasons and become narcissists like these. It always need not be any abuse always.. I have so many in my expended family, that it seems hereditary and surely not all of them were abused because there is one in each nuclear family on every generation. @@ms.liszz.9206
Because people who don't really know what Narcissistic is and use it.. It really does harm real victims of it. Going through a divorce with one and I know when I first met my lawyer it was important to me he understands what I am fighting. I know when I told him, I felt that silent eye roll. We'll my lawyer is finding it out on his own.
Did your lawyer started a relationship with your ex now? Because you are saying that he is finding out. I could easily see I happen actually. Wouldn't surprise me at all..
Thank you, I do need to listen to you daily, because you confirmed what I’m going through right now when you spoke about confusion and feeling like things are not right one moment and the next that things feel right like the relationship is going to be okay.
I’m 48, single daughter of a profoundly narcissistic mother and a dad who went from doormat to narcissist (don’t even know what you call this)… years later, meet the narc ex who was simply familiar, ‘more of the same’. Luckily, after 3 years of marriage, my son was born and all I new is that I had to get out. There’s no way I was going to allow him to be treated like that or, even worse model that type of behaviour. He was 10 months when I left, twelve years later I haven’t regret it for a single day. There might be self doubt but, deep down inside, I know it was simply too toxic!
That was when I realized it too. When I started having kids, and realized the things my parents did, I would NEVER do to my kids. :( Someone has to break the cycle of generational abuse. Let it be us.
Same here. I got pregnant and all I kept thinking is… I can’t let my daughter think men act like this. I can’t let her think this is a “relationship”. I can’t let her hear the things he calls me. The list went on and on. I worked 2 jobs while pregnant. Did the whole pregnancy thing alone. Raising a newborn by myself. It’s so hard. But, she’s 3 months old and she hasn’t known one abusive moment in her short life… I am so happy knowing her heart, mind, and soul are safe.
Moral injury.. invalidatition is cutting into an wound. It's so unreal that each time it takes you aback and then find yourself costantantly on guard... you anticipate madness every single day & when it went alright that moment you never too sure... it needs to take you to the cliff & opt jumping off .. cause it makes sense
For me the worst part of being in such a horrible relationship, more than the insults and screaming, was after the gaslighting, the self-doubt of me being a bad person, being mean and cold, I began to get dressed, isolated, angry, I really hated myself! The shame I felt towards my kids was so painful.
Thank you Lisa and Dr Ramani ❤ It makes it so much more relatable when people that seem like they have got everything together let us know they are going through the same and they have the same self doubt. So insightful as usual. Thank you xxx
❤The speed talking is symptomatic. And so what? Brilliant psychologist, loving woman. Has shared her knowledge and wisdom and helped many! Lisa, absolutely 💯 admire you and your interviewing style!
Thanks for the work but I especially appreciate Dr. R’s willingness to share her inner world about her interactions and pain dealing with narcissists. Acknowledging her own painful interactions. Meaning out of our suffering! Well said. ❤
This is hands down, the most eye opening, spot on podcast I have EVER heard in my life. Absolutely brilliant. So matter of fact, easy to connect to, and build off of. Dr. Ramani and Lisa, WOW! Thank you for your work and vocalization of experiences, rawness, and vulnerability to share. So incredibly helpful.
Love you Dr. Ramani. I soak in all your words. I feel I stayed too long in a narcisistic marriage. Been divorced 14 years now and I'm still like your car...very careful and cannot trust. Thank you immensely for what you do!. ❤
1:43:50 " Thank you so much for this invitation, I am so flattered/honoured that you reached out to me. I just want to know that I am going to politely decline, and it is not in anyway a reflection of you or your ideas nor your invitation. It is only a reflection of me living out my values. If I say yes to you, I am saying no to what matters the most to me or what I say matters the most to me. I just want you to know that I am cheering you on, and I wish you the best. I hope in doing this, it invites you to live out your values in a stronger way." POWERFUL and THANK YOU!
The last bid of Dr Ramani was the most important for me. Because that is exactly what I did - started to question my whole history and it is very destabilizing.
Thank you all in the community. I'm just a happy person loving life as a surviving American man. Thanks to this ability for us to share and true love the right way
I really identify with w.hat you said the effects were on you and how hard you tried to constantly please....I still do but I finally at 76 have boundaries. My tormentor died 7 tears ago, despite us separating many years before, and I finally felt free to live my life. There was profound damage over the years but like you I feel that I learnt so much that has been beneficial, about myself, him, and assessing my other relationships. I have profound admiration for you....ypu knowledge, how articulate you are in expressing that knowledge, as well as your beauty and warmth. Also thank ypu Lisa for your obvious intelligence and ability to ask questions that elicit meaningful answers from Dr Ramani. Oh, how I wish I could meet you both!!! Please come to New Zealand on a talking tour 😊
I’m so grateful for Dr. Ramani💜 Finding her videos saved my life emotionally and now I’m thriving. I continue to use her videos to remind me of where I come from to make sure I don’t forget. It helps me feel safe when our paths cross.
It is hard already seeing that you go through the emotional abuse! For some reason I don't like to hear that Dr Amani gone through and still carrying scars from it! Is it because of the character we are and it will always be with us, even after knowing 😢😢😢
I am just now working on a very similar path as Dr Ramani. I wish she was practicing near me because I would love to pick her brain and get some advice from her 😢 I feel like she was telling MY story when she was talking about her life
I am watching your videos from France, thank you so much for this content, these videos are so interesting and helping so much to understand what we, ''victims'' of narcissist abuse, went through. Dr Ramani is really the best. And you Lisa are a great Host. Merci beaucoup ! ❤
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
Makes Sense Lisa !
hey, we are with you, homie, not those who did not invite you back on their show, LH and all....
Someone keeps doing that to me claiming to be Dr. Ramani.....
Thank you for all you do. ❤️
¾@@Whispering-q2j😢
After 36 yrs of marriage, I only started hearing about narcissist abou two yrs ago, it answers alot of questions...especially the one "am I losing my mind"
Same here! My narc brothers horrid behaviour rattled me to my core...and I turned to the internet for answers! Discovered Dr Ramani, discovered Narcissim...and realised how my Mom is the biggest narc, my sis the golden child and possible covert narc, my father the big enabler and possibly a covert narc as well!!!
Phew! I now realise it was okay to not feel okay about my family all these years! And I am 54!!!
No you're not losing your mind
@Sleetstorm Your response is completely dismissive of the fact that people are suffering everyday at the hands of narcissists. It’s not a “new fad.” It’s only newly publicized. It’s now being talked about because narcs seldom believe their behaviors are problematic and don’t seek professional help. They do everything behind closed doors to maintain their image publicly. These decades-old behaviors finally have a name. The type of emotional, mental, psychological abuse is most times worse than getting physically abused. Their behavior is so sneaky and manipulative, it’s hard for anyone to believe you; they don’t believe your spouse could do such a thing or be such a person. You’re completely isolated at that point, a shell of the person you used to be, and literally made out to look like you’re crazy…that’s how these demons operate. To say “it’s a new fad” mocks those suffering for decades and didn’t know how to explain their messed up relationship/life. Now this deranged disorder and the traits of these abusers are being brought to light. People are completely valid in now discovering that something is very wrong and get the help they need to work through it and heal.
40 years in September and I just discovered it and realize that my father and husband are narcissists. 🤦♀️
Dr. Ramani , you are so understanding and so accurate. your mode of passing the information is as eloquent as can be. Thank you and bless you for the hope and understanding you offer.
Dr Ramani sorry to hear about your long history with narcissistic relationships. Your trauma channelled into helping others is commendable!!! You are a very rare gem!!! 💎
She is a true Gem 💞
I am getting out of a 12 year relationship with a neglectful narcissist…it was the hell 😢you both are helping me sooo much, thank you 😭
I 've been married to a malignant narcissist husband for 28years. I finally have the courage to get out of this relationship.
Much love to you as you work your way out & begin moving forward into the light.💖💖 I left a 7-yr marriage to a narcissist & my self doubt & his indifference (& sometimes cruelty) were painful & hard but I made it and SO WILL YOU! 💙 Every step of the way, try to remember you are not alone, & you deserve a medal for every step you make. Try to be kind to yourself & know life will eventually be much, much better, and much, much happier! You deserve to be loved and supported. 🙏🏼💖
I did too and now I'm left with broken pieces holding the bag.
@athenarushThank you. It's been a really rough road for me, with no help.
@@bumblebee_ms if I may be honest, he still lives in my apartment …I don’t know how to get him out …he doesn’t speak to me for 2 months now 😭😭…I am afraid to confront him
What Dr Ramani says...'wanting to be a mind reader' just to please people and stay safe/feel safe...its painful, but so relate 🙏💝
This is a very fair statement but think about it if you truly learn what narcissism is how it’s here in the first place, and why people don’t notice it until it happens to them, well you pretty much are a mind reader. I’ve been able to help people going through it just by what I’ve learned from Dr. Ramani.
Dr. Ramani is so lovely! She is honest and wise and firm in what she knows! Whenever I listen to the video where Dr. Ramani is speaking, it feels like she is a personal therapist, as well as a parental figure who mirrors back to those of us who listen our experience, affirming our words, and understanding what we are going through. It is so vital to healing to have someone tell you they understand! I can’t say enough good things about her! Right now, I am reading her new book and loving it and highly recommend it to anyone who is in a relationship with a narcissist in any capacity. Thank you Lisa, and thank you, Dr. Ramani, for these informative, insightful and helpful videos! The Lord bless you both! 🙏🏻🕊️
narsist aunt and narsist uncle video exposition video
"True love in a relationship means that we are the custodians of each other's vulnerabilities and wounds."
Thank you again ladies for this. I have forever been changed by narcissism in my life. I’m consciously finding my grounding again. I’m in total shock and disbelief, dare I say traumatized by the situations I’ve been falsely brought into. Half of my life seems like just a lie. I’m recovering.
Thank you ladies.
Thank you so much for your honesty, transparency and vulnerability my homie! You are not alone and we are here to help support you as you go on your recovery journey! This community is very near and dear to me and your voice here matters!
@@LisaBilyeu thank you so much. This is confusing and draining. Every choice I make has a consequence I’m fully aware of now. I’m trying to stay physically, mentally and emotionally safe.
Thank you again. 🙏🏽
Are 😆🫡@@LisaBilyeu
@@tracysnipes2144 I pray one day the pain we suffered will be so distant from our memory as if it was actually another lifetime ago. We are forever changed and new. Now we can be New and Great!
Peace and Wellness to you.
🙏🏽✨🙏🏽
@@LiveandLove45Beaufuly said 💞💞🙏
I'm really struggling and I was only in a relationship with a narcissist for 7 months, so I really feel for and can't imagine how difficult it is for those who were in years-long marriages.
So sorry to everyone who's tried so hard to please, fix things, be strong, loyal and compassionate yet received abuse in return. It really messes with your sanity.
May we all recover.
Even after 7 months you can come out of that relationship being seriously emotionally destabilized.
Wish you the best and the strength to leave it all behind you. X
I love the comparison between a narcissism survivor and a cat testing whether a surface is safe to walk on.
Yeah, it’s like walking on eggshells to minimize any abuse or wondering when again the abuse is going to start again. The ruminating is about the injustice of it. You go over and over the interaction because you don’t understand why you are bringing abused and how you are supposed to cope with it. There’s a ring leader too amongst my siblings orchestrating a hate campaign against me.
I really like Lisa as a host. She is so empathetic. And Dr. Ramani is always worth hearing.
Lisa really listens and adds value to Dr. Ramani's comments when she responds to what Dr. Ramani has said.
Dr. Ramani, your descriptions of yourself and the aftermath of narcissistic abuse had me nodding my head throughout When your used to accepting that most people won't understand or relate to my experiences, and some may even question my credibility, it can be such a relief and so grounding to spend a little time with people who do see us and understand our pain.
🎉almost makes you want to have a group of survivors in your city.
@@jenchristianrn1exactly what I was thinking, we need to be seen in our suffering ! Most of us don't have any Support group, friends left by the Time we realize ! why and how it happened over the long Years!
@@ebrume3587 I’ll be your friend. We can make a new tribe.
When my husband is around me i begin to be anxious and feel like something is going to happen... he is a narcisist who loves to abuse me mentaly, psysically, financially and all ways he can... and i can't do this anymore... i am done! My stress levels are high always when he comes around!
You have to be careful and hide what you’re doing, but get out as soon as you can.
Are u ok? If ur stuck, mk a plan to leave, do something to move towards it every day, big or small and you’ll get there. Document the abuse. All of it. Get video or audio. Write dates and incidents in a notebook and HIDE IT. I hope ur ok. But you’ll need it for court. Document everything.
The challenge of despair is definitely a reality for many of us. 💔
The relief of not caring is such a powerful way to be my empathetic to myself
My malignant narc mother made my whole life extremely difficult as she chose me as the family scapegoat/punching bag.
My mama too, now i have third lunatic bf i cant break up with him...cheater
@@Nyc99 I'm so sorry. I went thru that too. I'm struggling alone big time.
Me too
@@Divine_healing Sorry to hear it.
Thank you, bumblebee and also to you
I am in a Narrcissict relationship now but I have started making a plan to leave after years of abuse. Because of her videos ❤🙏🙏🙏😘
Congratulations!!! Stay safe, don’t let them know you’re going to leave, and have a party once you’re free!!! ❤
I agree. Don’t let the narc know you’re leaving. I made a huge mistake when he threatened me that he was leaving “in a month” (every month, but he wouldn’t).
I was so mad and fed up and said “good, me and my (adult) son already talked, we are good with that.” And then all bets were off. Who knew he could get worse? But oh man did he. I never imagined he’d retaliate to that degree as crazy as he could be. Don’t underestimate a narcissist’s revenge. Dr. R is 100% correct.
What I hate the most is allowing myself to be hoovered when I am at my most vulnerable.
So true that "empathy is not something that you can turn off". My malignant narcissist parent just passed away. I found myself crying that he was suffering before he died.
Then I got hoovered by a sibling. Even though I knew better, after 2 months straight of constant calling me for advice and support as our parent was ill, I about 90% believed that she had changed.
Where I live we are at War. 2 nights ago there was a major potentially deathly attack on us.
My sibling lives in another country, so I called for support.
This was the first time in her over 50 years of life I allowed myself to show her that I was frightened.
So I raised my voice, and while I was on video chat, and getting updated orders from our Home Front Command, I said "sh*t" at every update.
I was accused of speaking in an "angry tone of voice" and "how dare I cuss in front of their teenager".
I felt so hurt. I was under threat of possibly being killed, but my behavior was invalidated as inappropriate.
I received many written messages attacking my behavior.
Thank G-d our Defense systems shot down 99% of the missiles headed for us.
But my sibling continued to write about my inappropriate behavior from her safe home in her country far away.
I kept hearing Dr. Ramani saying, " No empathy, invalidating, gaslighting= narcissist."
So, for the first time in my life I wrote back, knowing full well that it would make no difference, that I expected my sibling to show compassion for my situation and give support, not get a lecture that my actual panicked behavior was an attack on you from anger.
I felt better saying what I felt, even knowing that my sibling enabled by the spouse of the sibling, who was used as proof that my tone was "angry".
I was blessed that same night to receive very worried and supportive messages from friends and cousins who live in my sibling's country.
I had to work really hard not to ruminate on my behavior that night, that I had called that sibling for support, and that sibling's response.
Only a week before, and before our parent passed away, I was called because my sibling was extremely upset over a colleague's not nice post on a group chat. My sibling actually went from being really hurt to rage while on the call, screaming at me. And later wrote an apology to me, which I responded with that it was unnecessary, because I am probably a safe space.
Here I was in what my whole country thought was an imminent existential threat, but attacked for raising my voice and saying "sh*t".
I guess that I may actually be ruminating after all.
Well, our parent's funeral was only a few days ago. I guess I need to be kinder to myself.
Am I going to be vulnerable to being hoovered and then abused by a narcissist whenever I am stressed?
No one has any idea how long this War will last so it is stressful.
Up to my parents' passing, I have been able to somewhat find times to not feel stressed, and enjoy myself.
But I am having flashbacks from my childhood, and feeling sad during this mourning phase, so am particularly vulnerable.
By the way, I am the "Truth Teller or Truth seer child" of my family.😢
We regret staying too long, but it takes what it takes to wake up and finally be done with the relationship!
Well Said !
God bless you Dr Ramani, you've been light for thousands of people
I swear to God, I've had the exact same conversations as Dr. Ramani, with other people, over the last 30 years. However, Dr. Ramani is the one who helped me understand, that, it wasn't normal.
Now my body can recognize narcissism, even my heart doesn’t, and in order to protect me I becoming sick. Thank you
Omg! This video. Came at the right time. I have been thinking all week, how can I be a fooled to believed him( covert/vulnerable narcissist) Gave him another chance but to be played again. Yes I get rid of him a week ago but I blamed myself for wasting another 7 months than I should've never gave him in my life again. After he wasted 7yrs before that. Thank you to both of you.
I’m blown away. Description of yourself is so much the same as how I feel. 💔
I experienced the following at the beginning of the relationship- We went out with a friend he hadn’t seen in a while. I was excited that I was being introduced to his friend. We had a good time. And the next day he said to me that his friend warned him about me because I gave out a negative energy. He felt that I was going to cause trouble for him in his life. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing him say. At the time, I thought I was in the hands of a special person but little did I know!
Your special to God anyway ❤
I wish we all had angels to protect us. You got closure without being harmed.
@@Hatbox948 I should have done that but I thought there was a problem with his friend, not him. I came to find out what a compulsive liar he is.
Oh, with me was the same, he started to say that all of his friends didn't like me, that I am too flirty, too much, too talkative, too quiet, etc
Dr. Ramani’s content has TRULY been life changing for me. When I was a little girl I was at the grocery store with my mom who was being difficult with workers or management as she usually was when we were out. I was embarrassed and kept my distance every time. I will NEVER forget a random lady passing by asking if that was my mom and then saying, “I’m sorry” in a truly compassionate way. Now that I know all these years later that my mom is in fact a grandiose narcissist, that lady at the grocery store’s comment makes so much sense. Content like this validates my experiences that were ALWAYS gaslighted.
The Bible says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick". I'm no longer feeling heartsick mode. I'm hoping in something way more positive with way better dividends.
Amen sis
Thank you for this verse! Wow!
❤ beautiful said!! 💯
That is how I felt in my relationship. Always hoping. I had an anxiety attack and made him move out. He then broke up with me. Now, I'm beating myself up for making him move out and therefore triggering the break up. I miss him so much even though he only gave me breadcrumbs.
Amen.❤❤❤❤
Thank you for posting your video, it has given me so much information on how to deal with a narcissist. My story is I had a narcissist mother and she died. I put up with emotional abuse for years. I have a narcissist sister who would treat me just like my mother did. I have learned to walked away and I no longer have to put myself in the abuse. I am healing.
There’s nothing wrong with having a smaller circle of relationships.
I’m a dozen years older than Dr. R. and I feel like we were twins separated at birth.
So blessed to have lived long enough to UNDERSTAND what happened to me.
You lady's are hitting the nail on the head. This episode is completely compounding emotions. Understanding survival mode as humans or mama's if you will. Sincerely hits home
Dear doctor is survivor , i love her❤
Oh my. I remember knowing 20 years ago that I should not care what other people want, not care about anyones expectations, but then I went and did it all anyway. It all feels so futile.
I was suicidal 20 years ago, after my narcissistic boyfriend discarded of me. Talking about that with him now, he called me a coward, because so many sick people who want to live don't get the chance. I shot back with 'well maybe these sick people have loving people around them, something I'm lacking!'
Thank goodness you’re not with him. Your life will be infinitely better. He will be garbage forever.
It is useless to talk to them. The best thing we can do to protect ourselves is to walk away once and for all. ☮️
Im sorry you went through that. I really hope you are thriving now 🌟
Wow, I feel so foolish for not recognizing the pattern. All these years, I thought she was unhappy because I failed her! You've opened my eyes, but now I'm deeply disappointed, realizing I was paying the highest price to fix something that was already broken.
When I started dating a love bombing narcissist I'd never even heard of a narcissist. Scariest, worst relationship I've ever had !!! For about a year I dated him. I can't imagine the damage it does to someone that's been in a LONG term relationship and has children with a narcissist my Lord 🙏🏽 I've been single and celibate since and that was 12 years ago!! I started listening to Dr R , also a couple other doctors and that's when I finally understood what I'd gotten myself involved in. I literally had to escape ✈️ then go to the police 🚓🚨 to make the sick narcissist stop stalking me !!! 3 years of healing from this crazy dude after a 1 year relationship!! He'd been talking about us moving in together and thank God I didn't agree on that , never wanted to live together with a man unless we were married since I bought my own home. So thankful I also turned down his marriage proposal twice!!
U dodged the bullet there lady.
The hardest part of being in a narcissistic relationship is realizing that you don't have friends that you can turn to. They all see the narcissist as a swell, loving and successful person. You wind up being more alone in the relationship than when you were living by yourself.
Oh my goodness the despair & depression is so real
Narcissist do shift.. If you say stop calling me these names.. They stop for a few months but, start again with different names to call you and instead of calling you stupid they now say do you hear yourself and how stupid you sound. Then they say I didn't call you stupid just the things that come out of your mouth. They just start their control, bulling you in a slight different way.
That’s still gaslighting and manipulative. That’s not a shift either . You can’t tell them what hurts bc it only gives them more ammunition and they will use sneakier tactics . It is more psychological abusive to hear “ do you see how dumb you sound “ opposed to just being called stupid . It is insidious bc they will gaslight the hell out of you “ I didn’t say that “ yet now they just have us gaslighting ourselves ! I am such an idiot was the main phrase of most my life yet I wasn’t CALLED ONE OUT RIGHT . they get us to abuse ourselves and act like they have nothing to do w it !
Yep, my Narc was calling me Motherrr like in this Moovie😮😮😮
22 yrs blaming myself. It truly becomes exhausting mentally & emotionally.
“Meaning out of suffering…” so true.
Back then…you don’t know what you don’t know…speed forward 36 years clarity confidence conviction in your beliefs…it’s a journey; we live we learn if we’re smart. ❤
I learned too late, but now I have a word that describes the insanity I was in. It wasn't some grand delusion. I knew enough to know something was wrong.
Dr. Ramani. The insight when you look at your cat testing the waters or blankets and sen yourself that’s remarkable. I think you are awesome.
Truly helped me save my mental health, I'm now 2 months out of a 4.5 year relationship with an extreme Narcissistic man. After my boss was one as well. I'm healing, getting healthier. It's slow but I've read your book once and now about to start it again ty ty ty. I now know" ITS NOT ME!"
This brought me to tears, she described everything I have gone through and the confusion i have been facing trying to put the pieces together... WOW Wish i can get therapy from her
You are so so right. It’s absolutely disgraceful the minimizing of this. I got so angry during my recovery, I’m like these people are walking around, accepted by society, I might be served by one.. how is this OKAY? it should be super criminal xx
Thank you both for SEEING us
I admire and respect you Dr. Ramani! I love all of your smart and informative videos! You remind me of my fathers sister, my aunt, who was a math teacher, guidance counselor, and worked for an attorney when she retired, she was smart, intelligent , and kind, just like my father was! I was so blessed to have them in my life. I encouraged my daughter to get an education, she has just graduated from a university with a bachelor's degree! Such a wonderful accomplishment for her, I am so proud of her! I hope to go back to school eventually too, to get a degree myself! Thank you Dr. Ramani I appreciate you so very much for all of your help on this topic!❣️
I'm done done done with a toxic person still thinking about all the awful things she said although some indirect in front of other people it's quite an involved situation but I don't want to interact at all with her anymore because of a hell of a lot of reasons , thank you your podcasts help me stay strong
I can relate to not regretting leaving the relationship I never thought I could of given myself more and now knowing what I do I'm glad I went through it to know and experience and not make the same mistake I now no longer care or wonder what happened to my ex who was an abusive narcissist.
"Unless they could have swallowed me up whole", I felt that......
For me it took being a cancer survivor to get to the point of not caring what other people think and doing what makes me happy. Of course it’s a daily process because people pleasing tendencies are so ingrained in us, especially as a woman. I did date a narcissist for three years and I’m still healing from the emotional abuse I endured from him. Love this interview thanks ❤
Lisa, every time you do a segment, I feel the world becoming stronger, better. Love Dr. Rahmani. She has opened up my eyes. My brother is a miserable narc, with my mother being the enabler. Just because they’re family, it doesn’t mean you’re stuck. There’s no such thing as a Hallmark Family. Love yourself, go find safety,
Inspiration. The honesty and earnestness.
You're not trying to prove yourself YOURE MAKING SO MANY PEOPLE AWARE. #GRATEFUL
💪
Brilliant. I get told off by friends - you should leave you should run away but I am me and I give people chances . ( and I don’t regret them ) But I do believe when it’s the end it’s the end . AND You feel it coming ( so weird there’s a feeling of knowing or of growing boredom or something that seems to happen ) and then it’s done .
Thank you Dr Ramani as always . You have helped me so much
Sounds like an "I AM SO DONE!" moment.
In the past 12 years things have changed so much! Twelve years ago I was seeking high & low for help but couldn't find it. Now there are so many resources and a comprehensive understanding of narcissism.
I love Dr. Ramani ❤
right? such a beautiful human being
Amazing. I felt this hard. I have been in therapy for 20 years. Was married to a narcissist who did these things. And only after I left him, people came out with "he didn't seem rjght" "he acted controlling" " we didn't trust him"... but my therapist kept telling me I needed to take blame for HIS BEHAVIOR. She even knew he was being physically abusive ontop of emotionally abusive. But she told me I needed to take responsibility for my part in the things he did to me. And would tell me I need to apologize for upsetting him (resulting in a beating or a gun to my head). So therapists I've seen didn't report it, and told me I WAS THE REASON he did these terrible things. Even when he got in a bunch of legal issues, the judge and DA who had 10 years of abuse given to her, BLAMED ME! And said I was unhealthy for him. And now I question if I'm a bad person and all my relationships are gone now. No friends or family and the therapist dropped me, and then I even got a letter stating I wasn't taking responsibility for things and they would no longer see me in the entire clinic, hospital, ER...etc.
That’s so messed up. I’m sorry you went through that. Especially from those who were supposed to help.
It is messed up, we put up all this Year's turns us to a diff. person! Even many years we don't know what's going on and address it, how can you expect the others to understand you! Most people wouldn't imagine how messed up person can get true many years of abuse 😔
Dr Ramani, thank you so much! Saying that when you are out in tge rain, you didn't create the wet. I have been for so long saying that so many therapists & psychiatrists treat people in a vacuum, as if everything is generated internally & outside interacts & abuse & neglect & gaslighting & confusing demands don't have anything to do with anxiety, depression, nightmares, & so much more.
It is time for the medical worldto ask questions about home life, work life, & relationships.
Thank you so, so much!
Listening to you ladies always helps me realize I am not crazy n’ that I can overcome these aspects of my life. Thank you so much for all this content, literally saving my life*
much 💛 love to Dr. Ramani, and to you too, Lisa.
And yes it can for sure be a very different depth and empathy when you have gone through that stuff AND studied it for your whole life... I do think there might be excellent therapists with depth and empathy that have not gone through all that dirt, but i think they are exceptions. Really, it's hard to find excellent therapists when you have a high level of trauma.
I am so grateful for you!!!❤🎉 You have saved lives❤❤❤
You're our hero Dr Ramani. ❤
If narcissists become your “forever stalkers” when you leave or they “discard” you it really gives you a sense of hopelessness in life. For the rest of your life you have to look over your shoulder. And they could come at you with any kind of attack, and ones you don’t see you just find your life is starting to fall apart around you for some reason. There is no therapist or psychologist that can help you with this. What is the point if you have to spend your life as a the target of a “hit man” that you never know when or where they will appear. But you KNOW they are out there planning your downfall. Where does the joy in life ever come back from something like that? You can spend all the time in the world healing from abuse but on the end the “hit man” is going to get you. There are no words that can help console this kind of existence. Existing becomes pointless and dark with no hope, just the dread of living and knowing that you could be taken out at any time. Can have as many therapy sessions as you want, it will not change the fact that they are coming for you.
My mother is a narcissist. More than my brother or dad. It was hard to tell if my brother or dad are narcissistic but they have some traits of narcissism. But my mom is a full blown narcissist. And an alcoholic too
It always need not be sexual abuse always.. Some people are born without the empathy part in the brain and some don't develop it due to varied reasons and become narcissists like these. It always need not be any abuse always.. I have so many in my expended family, that it seems hereditary and surely not all of them were abused because there is one in each nuclear family on every generation. @@ms.liszz.9206
'What is it you see Holmes? 'Everything - it's my curse!' I enjoy all of your work - thank you!
Because people who don't really know what Narcissistic is and use it.. It really does harm real victims of it. Going through a divorce with one and I know when I first met my lawyer it was important to me he understands what I am fighting. I know when I told him, I felt that silent eye roll. We'll my lawyer is finding it out on his own.
I have this feeling most Lawyers are Narc itself .. They don't have no Emotions whatsoever !
Did your lawyer started a relationship with your ex now? Because you are saying that he is finding out.
I could easily see I happen actually. Wouldn't surprise me at all..
This is a 5 star podcast * * * * * ❤
Thank you, I do need to listen to you daily, because you confirmed what I’m going through right now when you spoke about confusion and feeling like things are not right one moment and the next that things feel right like the relationship is going to be okay.
Dr.Ramani, I truly appreciate your transparency and honesty in explaining the experiences in narcissistic behavior.
I’m 48, single daughter of a profoundly narcissistic mother and a dad who went from doormat to narcissist (don’t even know what you call this)… years later, meet the narc ex who was simply familiar, ‘more of the same’. Luckily, after 3 years of marriage, my son was born and all I new is that I had to get out. There’s no way I was going to allow him to be treated like that or, even worse model that type of behaviour. He was 10 months when I left, twelve years later I haven’t regret it for a single day. There might be self doubt but, deep down inside, I know it was simply too toxic!
That was when I realized it too. When I started having kids, and realized the things my parents did, I would NEVER do to my kids. :( Someone has to break the cycle of generational abuse. Let it be us.
Same here. I got pregnant and all I kept thinking is… I can’t let my daughter think men act like this. I can’t let her think this is a “relationship”. I can’t let her hear the things he calls me. The list went on and on.
I worked 2 jobs while pregnant. Did the whole pregnancy thing alone. Raising a newborn by myself. It’s so hard. But, she’s 3 months old and she hasn’t known one abusive moment in her short life… I am so happy knowing her heart, mind, and soul are safe.
Moral injury.. invalidatition is cutting into an wound. It's so unreal that each time it takes you aback and then find yourself costantantly on guard... you anticipate madness every single day & when it went alright that moment you never too sure... it needs to take you to the cliff & opt jumping off .. cause it makes sense
For me the worst part of being in such a horrible relationship, more than the insults and screaming, was after the gaslighting, the self-doubt of me being a bad person, being mean and cold, I began to get dressed, isolated, angry, I really hated myself! The shame I felt towards my kids was so painful.
Thank you Lisa and Dr Ramani ❤
It makes it so much more relatable when people that seem like they have got everything together let us know they are going through the same and they have the same self doubt.
So insightful as usual. Thank you xxx
So real and so relatable. ❤
❤The speed talking is symptomatic. And so what? Brilliant psychologist, loving woman. Has shared her knowledge and wisdom and helped many! Lisa, absolutely 💯 admire you and your interviewing style!
Thanks for the work but I especially appreciate Dr. R’s willingness to share her inner world about her interactions and pain dealing with narcissists. Acknowledging her own painful interactions. Meaning out of our suffering! Well said. ❤
This is hands down, the most eye opening, spot on podcast I have EVER heard in my life. Absolutely brilliant. So matter of fact, easy to connect to, and build off of. Dr. Ramani and Lisa, WOW! Thank you for your work and vocalization of experiences, rawness, and vulnerability to share. So incredibly helpful.
Breaches of trust Karma invalidation, lying and dishonesty not even knowing what's real the rumination is absolutely destroying me
Love you Dr. Ramani. I soak in all your words.
I feel I stayed too long in a narcisistic marriage. Been divorced 14 years now and I'm still like your car...very careful and cannot trust.
Thank you immensely for what you do!. ❤
I’m so glad we hav the doctor share her experiences
Loved this episode. Opened my eyes. Still reading Dr. Ramani's new book. I am finding it extremely insightful and healing❤
This is so helpful i could scream. Seeing progress in action , gives so much hope☺️🤩🤗🤗
1:43:50 " Thank you so much for this invitation, I am so flattered/honoured that you reached out to me. I just want to know that I am going to politely decline, and it is not in anyway a reflection of you or your ideas nor your invitation. It is only a reflection of me living out my values. If I say yes to you, I am saying no to what matters the most to me or what I say matters the most to me. I just want you to know that I am cheering you on, and I wish you the best. I hope in doing this, it invites you to live out your values in a stronger way."
POWERFUL and THANK YOU!
The last bid of Dr Ramani was the most important for me. Because that is exactly what I did - started to question my whole history and it is very destabilizing.
Dr.Ramany is a great blessing
Dr Ramani You are devine and your menages are great.Lisa you are outstanding !!!! Thank your all you broadcast !!!
Thank you Dr. Ramani for your openness.
I was ready to hear ALL for this conversation ❤ thank you both so much for this authentic calibration xxx
Thank you all in the community. I'm just a happy person loving life as a surviving American man. Thanks to this ability for us to share and true love the right way
I really identify with w.hat you said the effects were on you and how hard you tried to constantly please....I still do but I finally at 76 have boundaries. My tormentor died 7 tears ago, despite us separating many years before, and I finally felt free to live my life. There was profound damage over the years but like you I feel that I learnt so much that has been beneficial, about myself, him, and assessing my other relationships. I have profound admiration for you....ypu knowledge, how articulate you are in expressing that knowledge, as well as your beauty and warmth. Also thank ypu Lisa for your obvious intelligence and ability to ask questions that elicit meaningful answers from Dr Ramani. Oh, how I wish I could meet you both!!! Please come to New Zealand on a talking tour 😊
Thank you, Lisa and Dr. Ramani. This conversation was extremely cathartic. ❤
Excellent education. I love both of you amazing ppl! Thank you! So many thoughts..& “drop the mic” moments!
I’m so grateful for Dr. Ramani💜 Finding her videos saved my life emotionally and now I’m thriving. I continue to use her videos to remind me of where I come from to make sure I don’t forget. It helps me feel safe when our paths cross.
It is hard already seeing that you go through the emotional abuse! For some reason I don't like to hear that Dr Amani gone through and still carrying scars from it! Is it because of the character we are and it will always be with us, even after knowing 😢😢😢
Everything is so me!! Learned a Lot! Thank you ladies!! Lisa your voice is firm and confident, and gives me energy, I can listen to you all day!
I am just now working on a very similar path as Dr Ramani. I wish she was practicing near me because I would love to pick her brain and get some advice from her 😢 I feel like she was telling MY story when she was talking about her life
I am watching your videos from France, thank you so much for this content, these videos are so interesting and helping so much to understand what we, ''victims'' of narcissist abuse, went through. Dr Ramani is really the best. And you Lisa are a great Host. Merci beaucoup ! ❤
Dr.R you are awesome!