Switch from displaying confidence to embracing powerless communication to gain trust and respect. 4:14 Acknowledge your own vulnerabilities and weaknesses to build rapport with your audience. 4:50 Ask more questions and provide fewer answers to develop deeper engagement and understanding with others. 4:38 Use tentative speaking to show you are open to others' opinions and to enhance collaboration. 7:53 Flatter and empathize with others by asking for their advice to gain support and turn adversaries into advocates. 14:46
"Most of us find that communicating our thoughts to others is a supremely enjoyable learning experience." Very nicely put and great food for thought for fine-tuning your teaching approach.
I had an employee, who also was once sent out to start a church plant, and we often talked outside of work about ministry stuff, with the goal of reaching people. He shared with me, and a small group of others once, that his tactic when first meeting someone is to ask them questions about themselves, followed by saying their name over and over again to help him remembers the person. This all sounds well, until the day comes when he's talking to you...and asking you questions which I knew he could care less about, and listening to him constantly say someone else's name in a conversation which is not natural to the way we talk. So while the practice sounds good, the form of how it's used is all the more important--don't be fake like my friend was, fake, drives people away.
Adam Grant 's whole shtick is based on " fakeness " built on a foundation of management psychobabble . Proof that P T Barnum was right ! There's never any shortage of Rubes...! Remember : Sincerity is the thing. If you can fake that then you're half way there..
You know what, on the moment 9.11 (no reference intended, I swear!) it hit me, that this talk defines the difference between the British vs American way of communication. And please take into consideration that I am a foreigner in the UK, English language is not my native, and I speak as an outsider (more or less...)
This is old wine in a new bottle: Most of it is in the 80-year-old bestseller, "How to Win Friends and Influence People": Focus on others, ask questions, be humble, especially when dealing with average folks. He's a polished presenter but we must always seek the steak rather than get seduced by the sizzle.
Nice talk ,but what you call "powerless" communication is in fact culturally the way that women are socialized to communicate in many contexts. Your points are spot on and I appreciate that you were able to see the power of using other forms of communication besides "ascertive/power talk". You should call "powerless" speech something less pejorative. Perhaps you could call it " collaborative" speech or humble speech. My pet peeve is when using " powerless" speech as you call it. I sometimes asks questions to engage people in meetings and most ascertive/power talkers just answer the questions as if I am stupid for not knowing the answer and feel proud of themselves for having the answer as opposed to even understanding that what I'm trying to do it engage them and "play low" in order that they don't feel threatened.. It's annoying to no end. So if you're going to take some of this "powerless" communication on, one needs to be ready for some people to take is literally as they use your powerless speech as a moment to further their own power and take advanage of a collabortive way of communicating. Tag speech is usually not about not knowing or being unsure it's about giving others the chance to participate in the idea or coversation. Women are socialized to not use directive speech as often as men so when we have something to say we are told culturally that in order to do it we should use tagged speech, "powerless speech" as you call it in order that we do not make ascertive talkers feel threatened. . . this is "playig low" and speech is powerful. so please do think about trying this talk again with a gender lense and rebrand "powerless speech" As you point out in your talk this way of communicating is anythig but powerless.
I can see how using the word "powerless" to describe this form of communication can be associated with literally being powerless in a conversation. I hear that you and other woman can have a difficult time trying to communicate when the culture doesn't always support you in doing that. I can agree with you that ultimately this is not about being powerless, as the name suggests, it's about having power in a conversation.
Totally agree. To call this "powerless communication" does everyone a disservice. It's actually brain-friendly communication, helping everyone use their brain better.
In my experience this usually does work better, but the question I have is why? Why do people not take inventory of the reasons why they personally react differently to the same content? I think there might be a discussion to be had in that. Not letting first impressions derail you from seeing the content. It could make you a more versatile person, Maybe?
interesting speech and topic. Im thinking high school teaching scenarios might challenge his thesis though. Kids want to see confidence out the front don't they? What's your game plan teacher? Are you in charge or not?
"You will never get into any trouble by admitting that you are wrong. that will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just as fair and open and broad-minded as you are. It will make him want to admit that he, too, may be wrong." - D.C.
And this is a problem because.... why? Also, I have never read that book because the title puts me off. I don;t want to win friends. I don't want to "influence" people. I'd say we need that new bottle.
Nice subject, well started at the beginning...However, the unnatural body language of the speaker was so strong, that I couldn't focus on the content...it does not look authentic. All in all, No value added.
The so - called " content " was basically vacuous , clicheed pseudo psychological drivel . So , you didn't miss anything.! Unless you're planning a career selling 2 nd hand cars.?
It's not only what Adam Grant says, but also how he says what he wants to say.
Absolutely brilliant.
Switch from displaying confidence to embracing powerless communication to gain trust and respect. 4:14
Acknowledge your own vulnerabilities and weaknesses to build rapport with your audience. 4:50
Ask more questions and provide fewer answers to develop deeper engagement and understanding with others. 4:38
Use tentative speaking to show you are open to others' opinions and to enhance collaboration. 7:53
Flatter and empathize with others by asking for their advice to gain support and turn adversaries into advocates. 14:46
"Most of us find that communicating our thoughts to others is a supremely enjoyable learning experience." Very nicely put and great food for thought for fine-tuning your teaching approach.
Adam speaks to the most effective 21st Century style of leadership. the bad old days were full of powerful people who were excellent at demotivation
People love to talk about themselves much more than listening to others. If you respect their need to talk, you'll get respect in turn.
it's called humility when its appropriate for certain situations
Great talk! And what a refreshing POV on communicating like a real person.
Being your self is enough. It's about adapting to the situation, and the personality type that you are dealing with. Pleaser, Dominant, Logical...
I agree :)!
Leadership can be confident and yet show its vulnerability
Fabulous talk - very thought provoking & helpful - thank you Adam Grant
I had an employee, who also was once sent out to start a church plant, and we often talked outside of work about ministry stuff, with the goal of reaching people. He shared with me, and a small group of others once, that his tactic when first meeting someone is to ask them questions about themselves, followed by saying their name over and over again to help him remembers the person. This all sounds well, until the day comes when he's talking to you...and asking you questions which I knew he could care less about, and listening to him constantly say someone else's name in a conversation which is not natural to the way we talk. So while the practice sounds good, the form of how it's used is all the more important--don't be fake like my friend was, fake, drives people away.
Adam Grant 's whole shtick is
based on " fakeness " built on a
foundation of management psychobabble . Proof that P T
Barnum was right ! There's never
any shortage of Rubes...!
Remember : Sincerity is the thing.
If you can fake that then you're
half way there..
Old-timey Dale Carnegie sales practices...none of it works unless backed with a genuine care for others.
You know what, on the moment 9.11 (no reference intended, I swear!) it hit me, that this talk defines the difference between the British vs American way of communication. And please take into consideration that I am a foreigner in the UK, English language is not my native, and I speak as an outsider (more or less...)
I'm finding these talks very useful in my practice.
What a fun and engaging TEDx Talk! Surprising, enlightening, and funny. I loved it!
Great talk. Very engaging and informative.
I try to do this everywhere I go.
Adam is one of the smartest persons on the planet.
Enjoyed this TALK Immensely.
This leadership style has become even more important as we have to somehow make a skyscraper out of mud these days.
Here's the brief summary: See definition of humble and self deprecating.
This is old wine in a new bottle: Most of it is in the 80-year-old bestseller, "How to Win Friends and Influence People": Focus on others, ask questions, be humble, especially when dealing with average folks. He's a polished presenter but we must always seek the steak rather than get seduced by the sizzle.
Yeah, maybe you should reread that book, you seem like you can really benefit from it.
Nice talk ,but what you call "powerless" communication is in fact culturally the way that women are socialized to communicate in many contexts. Your points are spot on and I appreciate that you were able to see the power of using other forms of communication besides "ascertive/power talk". You should call "powerless" speech something less pejorative. Perhaps you could call it " collaborative" speech or humble speech. My pet peeve is when using " powerless" speech as you call it. I sometimes asks questions to engage people in meetings and most ascertive/power talkers just answer the questions as if I am stupid for not knowing the answer and feel proud of themselves for having the answer as opposed to even understanding that what I'm trying to do it engage them and "play low" in order that they don't feel threatened.. It's annoying to no end. So if you're going to take some of this "powerless" communication on, one needs to be ready for some people to take is literally as they use your powerless speech as a moment to further their own power and take advanage of a collabortive way of communicating.
Tag speech is usually not about not knowing or being unsure it's about giving others the chance to participate in the idea or coversation. Women are socialized to not use directive speech as often as men so when we have something to say we are told culturally that in order to do it we should use tagged speech, "powerless speech" as you call it in order that we do not make ascertive talkers feel threatened. . . this is "playig low" and speech is powerful. so please do think about trying this talk again with a gender lense and rebrand "powerless speech"
As you point out in your talk this way of communicating is anythig but powerless.
I can see how using the word "powerless" to describe this form of communication can be associated with literally being powerless in a conversation. I hear that you and other woman can have a difficult time trying to communicate when the culture doesn't always support you in doing that. I can agree with you that ultimately this is not about being powerless, as the name suggests, it's about having power in a conversation.
Great comment. "Soft power communication" would better describe this form of communicating, I believe.
Dead on I used this and got fucked around with . I was assertive, and they got shit done.
Totally agree. To call this "powerless communication" does everyone a disservice. It's actually brain-friendly communication, helping everyone use their brain better.
"Powerless communication" is about stripping ego of its "I'm the best" attitude and giving power to the heart?
A transcript of this talk would be appreciated!
Very meaningful points
Adam, have you ever read Dale Carnegie's seminal work titled How to Win Friends and Influence People?
Lisa Davis oooobviously!
Why this query ,? Curious to know
Read it ?? He appears to have plagiarized it wholesale.!
FANTASTIC!!!!
Great talk Adam!
That was really enjoyable!
I appreciate you sir
In my experience this usually does work better, but the question I have is why? Why do people not take inventory of the reasons why they personally react differently to the same content? I think there might be a discussion to be had in that. Not letting first impressions derail you from seeing the content. It could make you a more versatile person, Maybe?
Not all people like to be questioned
This guy needs children to understand that his technique is actually natural to many parents.
Good insight
Wow.Just Wow!
interesting speech and topic. Im thinking high school teaching scenarios might challenge his thesis though. Kids want to see confidence out the front don't they? What's your game plan teacher? Are you in charge or not?
He just said 1 and 2
Im still waiting for 3
Adam silver?
"You will never get into any trouble by admitting that you are wrong. that will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just as fair and open and broad-minded as you are. It will make him want to admit that he, too, may be wrong." - D.C.
Great
And this is a problem because.... why?
Also, I have never read that book because the title puts me off. I don;t want to win friends. I don't want to "influence" people.
I'd say we need that new bottle.
Don't get angry ? Really ? Then we can accept all social inequities and NEVER QUESTION THEIR CAUSES.
Anyone else here for class
I had to like the video to raise your number from 666 :0
And non-chalantly states 'bombed a few countries along the way'....right where he lost me..that statement is taken way too lightly in passing.
This is exactly opposite to the advice women are given on being assertive and doing the power pose etc. What to follow what not to follow 🤷🏻♀️
Doland Trump should see this
I don't think he has an audience ha...ha..
Nice subject, well started at the beginning...However, the unnatural body language of the speaker was so strong, that I couldn't focus on the content...it does not look authentic. All in all, No value added.
The so - called " content " was
basically vacuous , clicheed
pseudo psychological drivel .
So , you didn't miss anything.!
Unless you're planning a career
selling 2 nd hand cars.?
Same intonation- makes me bored
Great
Great
Great
Great
Great