Why you Attract Clingy Friends | Setting Boundaries
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 มี.ค. 2022
- 4-Part Series: Spiritual Warfare
Why you Attract Clingy Friends | Setting Boundaries
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Many clingy friends are secretly harbouring feelings for you and try to use the friendship to remain close to you. It's more about manipulation and their selfish desires than a genuine friendship. They overstep boundaries and just impose themselves on you because it's all about them.
They suck the life from you, invite themselves to your home, ask why u didn't pick up the phone, just literally want u around them all the time!!!
Girl, if this ain't the same thing I say all the time.... 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I tell ppl quick "I don't owe nobody nothing!!!: no explanation, no time, no energy, etc..." clingy ppl arw codependent ppl that need therapy.... and I'm not fixing to be their therapist 💯👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾!!!! Great video mami. Subscribed.
Yesss! A lesson that Im still currently
Mastering and thought I’d share it! The girls that get it, GET IT! Thanks for the love ❤️
Exactly !!!!! Too dang entitled! That is what gets me !!!!!
It’s crazy cuz I’m a guy & have male friends that are codependent & that 1 female friend I’m close with acts like the guys Lmao. When I’m not around they act like the world is falling lol. I’m working on myself & this video helped me realize a lot thank you
LITERALLY me 😮💨 People are obsessed with me. People cling to my confidence and try to live through me. It’s cool that I’m
so well loved but it’s annoying because once I’m a low maintenance friend.
Especially older women , like they try to be u almost . Copy u , use up all your time . Just aggravating.
Yes, agree 100% - if people could stay in their lane, it would be cool, but if you attract the types I attract (which it sounds like you do), it’s like these people are attracted to your light, your uniqueness, etc., but because they haven’t generated their own/don’t know how to generate their own, they start consciously or unconsciously copying you. Sadly, a lot of them will even have the balls to start saying they did something first.
I just noticed last week that one of my friends is like this. She follows me on IG from 3 different accounts, and watches every single story from all 3 accounts. She also “likes” every story from all 3 accounts and leaves a “story reply”. Same thing with my posts. It started very gradually, but I noticed there was an issue when she asked if I muted one account because she couldn’t view my story from that account during one particular day. Then I was asked if we’re still friends. It turned out to be a minor glitch. But the fact that she was so distressed over being unable to view my story from one IG account (even though she saw it from the other 2) really opened my eyes. It’s such a trivial incident, and I realized that there were a lot of other signs that I had missed, so boundaries are in place now.
“Clinging on to your energy” a well put!
I relate to this. The more chill and passive you are they just get comfortable being weirder and invasive
I've always wondered why I attract such clingy people all my adult life! Now I know why... it's b coz I'm sincere, emphatic, a good listener and I'm not judgemental. Some of these friendships end up becoming unhealthy b coz they get too codependent and I become mentally drained and when I start to pull away they become resentful and spiteful which ends up with me cutting them off.
After a while it becomes draining to the point where I would rather not have any friends. The amount of people I've had to cut off for demanding way too much of my time is not normal and they get angry when they don't get to speak to me on a daily basis. Sometimes it's 2/3 times a day and a couple of them resort to love bombing when they see I'm not as keen as they are, which is overwhelming. I need breathing space... this is not normal I'm so tired of attracting these needy people.
Are we the same person? Cuz same! It can def be draining and overwhelming but nobody is entitled to your time and energy. I’ve experienced the same thing with numerous amounts of people.
i deal with this so much too !! they never end well n i have a hard time setting boundaries from the jump it’s tiring n i have to crest space and i know they’re going to be upset and not take it well
Wow this is exactly how I’ve been feeling lately
Same that’s why I don’t have any friends now. Can’t risk my peace again
Honestly this is my life too!! Received ten back to back missed calls so she could talk about her self !!!
I'm glad I came across this video. My roomate moved out because she felt some type of way because I just been chillen in my own zone for a few days and I just needed some peace ( life stuff).. never disrespected her just needed space and she didn't understand that and so she took it to heart. She's the type that wants to do everything together work, gym, shopping and outings ect. I am a type of person that doesn't want to hangout everyday I need my alone time to recharge and on top of it we didn't have our own rooms ( studio with 2 beds and a kitchnett). I just never experienced someone get so offened for a person needing space. But I must admit I'm glad she's gone I feel like I have more peace now
I know exactly what you mean! It’s really crazy, but like you said, the peace is so worth it!🙌🏾
No fr ….. When I say as soon as I try to be friendly with females they literally become so fucking clingy & its ANNOYINGGGGGGG to the point where I have to separate from them or they will literally try to talk to me ALL DAY EVERY DAY & no matter how much I explain to them that I am an introvert who likes my SPACE …. They will completely disregard what I said just to be inside of my energy. It’s draining asf 😢 to the point where I don’t even want to have friends and don’t even get me started on the men 😭😭😭😭 just leave me alone fr
I felt this truly
Same . It’s horrible . Ima just start blocking everyone from now on 😂
SAME! It is ridiculous!!!
ong kay, literally on a call with 1 rn. its constant bro
you preaching. i’m realizing i attract clingy people then ruin the friendship by not setting boundaries out of fear of upsetting them or trying to be to nice. trying to work on communicating better this year
Yessssss! An acquaintance started calling me bestie and saying I love you after hanging out a couple of times… and I said it back… and felt an ego boost being called bestie… but those were just manipulative tactics. To create a closeness that wasn’t there. And to ultimately be an ear to talk at and not a full person who needs to be seen in the “friendship” as well.
The emotional intelligence you have. You’re amazing!
Some people are annoying. I recently recommended a doctor to an acquaintance and they get back to me wanting a drive with me than take the public transport
Oh, I know what you mean! I had to learn the hard way to stop giving recommendations or telling anything about myself, no matter how simple it is ( like, the hair lotion I use, the sales I get at stores, if I cooked something, etc.), because you can rest assured, they’re going to try and involve me somehow. Ridiculousness!!!
@@1LovedbyHim seriously I don't have a problem recommending a product but asking someone to buy it or use someone when you don't know them well enough is where boundaries and discernment come into place
@@GD-cr5um Exactly!!
My goodness, I had no idea so many people were going through what I go through! A lot of these comments sound like I wrote them myself. Thank you for this video. I have become a lot bolder in telling people how I get drained, but guess what…they still either DON’T get it or DON’T care, so I’m seriously considering starting my life over- something I’ve never thought of doing before- new number, new state, new beginning, so I can work on me!
Edit- I meant to add, along with telling people how I get drained from calls, texts, and just overall social engagement, I also tell them upfront that “I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE DROP OUT OF MY LIFE” in hopes they would have moderation in their communications with me. Does it work? NOPE! The leeches just keep on LEECHING!
Just found your channel and immediately subscribed! I have to work on boundaries with clingy friendships and don’t know how to approach the conversation without ghosting them. But this helped me learn (plus many of the comments) that I don’t owe them an explanation as to why but can still disconnect myself without ghosting them.
I would say 90% of my friends I stopped talking to because they became extremely clingy. Im just like you.fun, confident, ect but I prefer to do things alone. Love your video
Make a plan with them one month ahead in the future - that stops clingy people from getting anxious!
Ugh I do this, but my clingy person will STILL try to hang out every week before the plan anyway. It’s like ants in the pants
Tell them “NO you’re too swamped,” but you’re looking forward to seeing them later!
Thank you! this is one strategy I haven’t tried, but knowing me, I will get anxiety during the weeks that lead up to us getting together. 🤦🏾♀️
You can do it! Stay busy so you can tell them what you’ve been up to. Keep telling them you’re looking forward to catching up next month!
Never works. Over the course of that month you’ll hear from them daily while they try and perfect your hang out and by the time the hangout comes you def don’t want to be there. I’ve had this advice before and it wildly backfired where I was giving them way more of my time and attention because now there was lead time and they had too much time to sit around and think about what it was gonna be like. Anxious people be anxious either way.
can u make a video on signs of a clingy friend? some girls come off really strong fast
Oooo good idea I gotchu!
I blocked 🚫 a needy friend as he kept messaging me late ⏰ often even when I asked him not to
really good insight!
This was so on point!!!thank you
Needed to hear this thank you
Loved this ‼️
Absolutely wonderful video :) I loved it to bits my friend :)
Thank you!!✨
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 preach!!!
At 4 mins I hollered lol
I like this gal
😭🙏🙏
How do I break it off with this person if they’re suicidal? I’m not responsible for their life but I don’t wanna be rude cause I know they’re fragile. Dis tew much
That’s scary tbh but you’re right it’s not your responsibility. And honestly not saying they’re lying but sometimes I think people use suicide as a manipulation tactic to garner sympathy. But that’s a delicate subject because you never know and for sure don’t want to take it lightly. I’d suggest they seek help.