0:26 Blowing up her phone. 3:00 Always worried about what she’s doing. 4:38 You’re rushing things. 5:28 Your life revolves around her. 6:58 Your mood depends on her.
Nice summary - Raghav7657! Great tips - by Courtney! If a girl is into you, she’ll drop everything for the opportunity to be with you - she’ll even cancel her plans. Having said that. If she’s not into you - watch out! She’ll find every excuse in the book - in order to avoid seeing you, or texting you back! So learn to become the type of guy, women can’t resist, and can’t wait to hear from! (I know, that’s easy for me to say…) Lol - but it’s possible! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
@@carlosverde-datingtips7001 i know where you coming from , looks are subjective in many cases and if she really finds you sexually attractive, you basically got her and just don’t screw it up and period
Shout out for this great woman. She is always delivering great advice and sound wisdom. Thank you Courtney for your great service to society. Rock on.🌟🙂
She really is. I heeded a lot of her advice about becoming more confident, taking better care of myself, and how to talk to women and now I have an amazing girlfriend. Courtney is a gift from God. 🙏🏼
This is one of the craziest things I've learned about women. I understand not liking clingy. It smells of desperation, which is very unattractive in men. Totally get it. But then I heard about how person who cares the least in a relationship controls the relationship. And I learned the hard way that it's true. The nicer I treat my wife, the more distant she gets. Come home, give her a hug and kiss, tell her I love her, she withdraws overtime. I come home and act like she's not really there, she starts treating me nice again. And you wonder why us men give up.
Scarcity = value. If you're always nice, being nice has no value anymore. Don't be nice and give away your attention for free, reward her when she deserves it and treats you well. On the flip side, no more being nice and pull back your attention when she is treating you like crap.
@@dtho8542 I understand these principles. It's just frustrating to see these psychological games playing out with people you've been with for years. You would think at some point you could just be yourself, and be honest. Instead we still have to play psychological games with people to get them to treat us good and with respect. Again, makes you just want to walk away from all the bull crap.
Even at my age (57) I’ve learn so much from Courtney. Sadly, there wasn’t any advice like this when I grew up. I’m only now discovering all my past mistakes and I am looking forward to never repeating them... - Guys, hit that “Like” button, and help Courtney help us and others more; It only takes second.
I'm 51 and agree 100%. However, and maybe you might agree, since you were also dating in the 80s and 90s and early 2000s, I'm guessing, I think that people (including men, from what I hear from my older female friends) had better dating ethics and played less games decades ago. Personally, I am dating a lot more the past 15 years since my divorce, largely due to online dating, but most of it is very short lived, and I had much longer relationships prior to getting married in the early 2000s. I blame a lot of this on social media and the swipe right/swipe left smorgasbord of dating sites giving us a "bigger, better deal out there at the touch of a button" mentality
@@Lonstermash Good to see that I’m not the only older man enjoying Courtney’s help.
I do agree that Social Media and Dating Apps are responsible, and has destroyed more relationships then it has successfully created. I think Courtney and Teddy are sadly a rare success story.
I do think there were less games back in our younger years, but they still existed; just in a different forms. I think it helped that our life rolls were more defined back then and less short term and the instant gratification from today’s hook-ups culture…
For anyone exhibiting these signs, you should read into attachment theory, as these are acts that an anxious-preoccupied person would do. And anxious-preoccupied tend to attract avoidant partners - a very toxic relationship dynamic. Reading more into it and actually working on myself to become more secure really helped me act less clingy!
This is why self respect > self esteem. One relies on you looking at yourself and making decisions based of that. The other seeks outside approval and acceptance through consensus of your peers, all who just might be idiots.
The stuff she was mentioning in this video is what I used to do. I had a friend who was a female who told me what I was doing and it woke me up a little bit. This channel is about improving yourself. But you have to be honest with yourself as well. Another great video.
Definitely have been guilty of checking my phone constantly. I've only ever sent a few texts about why they haven't responded. It never goes well. It's good to live your own life and not worry about when she texts back. I think this gets to a point though. I don't want to have every reply be three days later or really late at night waking me up. There has to be a moment when you become more of a priority to them. If not, then I just lose interest in that person.
I agree with what Courtney is saying. Love at first sight, or even first text or first meeting doesn't and shouldn't exist. If you can't wait to text someone or see them again and you can't concentrate on work, didn't those things used to be signs of love? Aren't those natural human emotions? I know, I get annoyed too when a girl texts me constantly and I sense she is desperate. But...when it goes both ways its a good sign. Maybe this is why dating apps don't work. Maybe we should stick to phone calls and meeting people through friends or at book stores and night clubs.
You're right but I think a lot of her advice will lead to a point where. If a woman's rude you can easily walk away from her. A man of high value shows it through his actions and a woman that wants him will feel like she can't afford to act up.
You just can’t handle it that’s all. Learn how to handle it. Women can be emotional af like a tidal wave but you need to be a strong rock and stand on business.
If a female be rude to you but showing signs of she like you she is testing you because she trying to get a reaction out of you and it's your job to not give her a reaction but if she being rude just because and not showing no signs move on because she doesn't like you
On the whole not messaging you back or taking multiple days to message you back, I've just gotten in the habit of ignoring them at this point. I get if you're busy etc, but if it's been multiple days the interest isn't there, or you're not her first choice. If they were interested they would take the time/effort to message back. Don't put in more effort than you're getting back.
Good one..its happening to me right now ..takes days and I just think it's important to match the same effort 👌 buy I will never ignore a text just pull back and do your own thing :)
Believe me... she is messaging back the guy she likes. Women give dating advice based on fantasy. The reality is do you think she goes days and never speaks to anyone? You know better. She has no interest or respect for you
I never text anyone with twenty messages…if she isn’t replying after the first or second one I stop. Then I might wait a few days and then see whats up. If its the same…NEXT!
Again... that makes no sense. If she wants you she won't wait 2 days. I guarantee you she doesn't make the tall hot guy wait. She is literally showing you how lil you matter to her
I am guilty of most of these and the best way I found to help curb the need to constantly check my phone for an answer or a text, not just from girls but from everyone, is to put your phone away and don't look it at it for the whole day. This behavior may be tied to desperate/clingy behavior but at the same time, it can also be tied to phone addiction and loneliness. If you are secure in yourself and have self-worth, confidence, and show it by taking care of yourself daily and building healthy habits, this behavior should improve. Something I'm currently working on is making more friends so that I feel less lonely and that has also halted this behavior. Phone addiction is real and detrimental to your overall physical and mental health. Put the phone away and you will feel so much better once you check it in 8 hours and see people blowing it up, the same people you thought were ignoring you.
I was like this in my teens. I was the chaser. No one was interested. So I taught myself if they don't show anything back, make any effort or initiate anything, then they are not worth it and that I should move on. You can learn a great deal over the years as you mature. To this day I wait to meet someone different who will show me signals I've not received before.
But y is it considered desperate or clingy and not having/showin genuine interest? What if we have great conversations and I just enjoy talkin 2 her? And if she's busy/goin 2 be busy, y not just say that? I'll admit, I've done sum of these things wit an ex. What annoyed/frustrated me was that she was always hot & cold, inconsistent, distant, here 2day gone for 2 weeks or recently, 9 months. But Ive never looked at it as desperate or clingy. All I've ever asked 4 was a heads up or let me know sumthin, but I guess that's too much 2 ask 4 or too difficult 2 do 4 sum1 that claims 2 love and care bout u nowadays 🤷♂️
I'm guilty of the last one although it's not something I'm dating but a crush at work. The days I don't get to talk to her I'm all sad and bummed out. The days where I have her full attention and can make her laugh is the highlight of my day
You guys need the 'attitude'. "The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays or prays. No matter what happens your toes are still tapping. When you've got that you've got the 'attitude'." Demone, Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
The differwnce between needy and desperate is how physically attractive the person is. A hot guy can be in a girls inbox hitting on her and pursuing her and she will consider it confidence and persistence. But if an ugly guy is ina girls inbox the same way, the girl will take his confidence and persistence as desperation and neediness. Everything comes down to looks
@Black Boy King TV how is that sad, I mind my business and don't bother anyone. I keep to myself because most people are looking to take advantage of you.
Growing up lot of things have happened to me. I was always alone , teachers and other kids including my cousins they all used to bully me. So whenever I find a friend I just clings on to that person and scare that person away. This video is very useful even if you are a girl
Its not being clingy, the reason a guy acts fast or first is becuase he don't want to loose the girl he loves, the odds of a girl making the first move are slim to none, so if a guy falls in love with a woman and makes a move, then the girl thinks it's clingy? Well let's say he don't do nothing at all and or waits for the girl, and nothing happens and in the end she says, why didn't you say anything.? Well get my point, so basically it's up to or the woman's decision to love and judge, make the move, because if the man does it , it's all messed up. In the end it's all about getting the girl you love, so it's like a rat race to impress .
The overthinking was a constant struggle in my past relationship. I was worried about "does she still love me", "does she still appreciate me?".... etc. In general I struggled to keep healthy distance from her and it was always a topic of arguments. Thank you Ms. Ryan for this helpful video on the "Anxious" Attachment.
Went on 2 dates with a girl I had tons of chemistry with and had a lot in common but I think trying to set up a date every week kinda turned her off and she slowly ghosted. Hurt a lot because I don't think I'm gonna find someone like her again
You’ll definitely find another one trust me. IMO the girl should try and setup dates (or at least give ideas) if she’s actually interested so if you were setting everything up, good riddance. Make room for the next.
Thanks again for giving advice that most men are not taught growing up, but should be. As someone who is 35 and married, I still listen for ways to improve my relationship with my wife. I can’t help but think, “this is everything I wish I knew when I was younger (teens to early twenties).” I’m glad you are making a great difference for the men who have been fortunate to find your channel.
As someone who’s struggled with anxious attachment for years, it was easy to think that I was the only one and that there was something wrong with me. Spot on about not having a passion or purpose. Once I got a job (I work in healthcare) and started working out I found something to look forward to everyday and invest in. Now I have a healthy relationship with dating and have no issues going on platonic coffee dates and I know I’ll be ok if things just don’t pan out how I thought they would in my head. You aren’t alone fellas, work on you.
If you have time to waste blowing up somebody's phone or text, you have time to lift weights or read a good book. Reminds me of epic desperate part in "Dumb and Dumber": Lloyd Christmas: "What are my chances?" Mary Swanson: "Not good" Lloyd: "You mean not good like one out of a hundred?" Mary: " I'd say more like one out a million" Lloyd: "So you're telling me there's a chance. Yeah!!!!!!!!!"
What she conveniently forgets to mention is that a female can't be reasoned with using logic. Yes she will get angry if she feels slighted or ignored. And the actual reality is women will get angry either way. The important point she has no clue about is to already know this will happen. But your reaction can't be logic or anger... let her weather out the storm of irrational emotion she is having. And actually after she will make it up to you. This is advice a woman can't give you... cuz they haven't dated women as a male. They give advice on what they truly have no experience about
I agree that women don't owe you an explanation if they don't reply back. However, they could have the courtesy of just unmatching you so you aren't thinking they will.
think i went through a crash course in modern dating for the past 1 year since divorce. Low self-esteem, desperate and clingy (went through every single point in this vid), constant rejection, etc. really a painful process of growing in this area in my mid 30s and finally learn to let it go and not putting a girl on a pedestal (most of the time).
Dude's writing back-to-back texts and blowing up a girl's phone without getting a reply are impulsive and are unable to delay gratification. They expect the girl to have an eye on the conversation 24/7 with no other priorities going on in life. Speaks volumes about the guy having nothing going for them to be able to devote that type of time on a stranger especially, if they're just at the communication stage.
Omg a man loves you too much…. Maybe a dude is worried she’s cheating because it’s insanely common nowadays… come down from the high horse future cat lady.
Yep, Courtney has it right. If we don't have a life outside needing a woman, we're then dependent on a woman. That's insecurity brought on by domestication lacking in love and acceptance, among other things. When you have your own life, you can take or leave her; she'll see that and then do what it takes to keep your attention. That's true at any age. I do this all the time; I follow Courtney's recommendations of staying in shape, working out, eating all my own food, not eating out, absolutely no adult beverages, and not giving a *****crap**** about what a woman thinks about me. However, when you are one of the best in shape men, anywhere you go, you command attention without saying anything. They will find ways of getting near. As they do, I ease my way a little further away from them; you talk about getting her stirred up, and she'll rub her breasts against you nonchalantly as she eases by. I love that as I act as though she never touched me. They go home wondering why they didn't get my attention and start looking at their self thinking about what's wrong with what they look like. That builds their insecurity tenfold. Regards
Ask to her to hook up. If she's interested she'll say yes, if she's not she'll ignore, change the subject, or flat out say no. If she does anything in the no column or wastes time, do not get upset or argue, just say no worries and move on to the next girl. Or ask the next girl right in front of last one, thats fun too. You're not putting pressure on her, in her mind these decisions have already been made. Stop being a wuss, and be direct, and be okay if she does not like you like that. Eventually you'll figure out what type of girls are into you, and make things more efficient.
I'll be honest, I wasn't too much of a fan of your videos in the past, but I have to say that your advice on this one really opened my eyes. Thank you for that, there's so many thing I wish I could've learned before.
3 msg n a row max until she replies, strive 2 keep ur msgs 2 d pt 2 avoid big'o paragraphs, n don't always b the 1 starting every single convo n d beginning, n give her sum space 2 breath
Chatting on WhatsApp I have notifications off for everyone except family. I'll get to the messages when I'm on my phone but I won't be waiting anxiously staring at it. Great advice as usual, Courtney!
Nobody should be exhibiting this type of behavior and that goes for girls too. But the thing is, it's too easy to read a title like this and think "that's not me". Another thing is pointing out some "symptoms" or issues and saying "just work on it" is not exactly a detailed action plan. Same for those who say "I'm working on myself", the question is how. It's too easy to acknowledge a problem but then not know how to fix it. If one already knew what to do and how to solve it, then why is it still a problem? For certain things sometimes people don't know what to do. Life is a journey. Don't just do what you need to fix the problem, we should all aim to keep growing.
She's right about over texting, been guilty of this, but one way to address this is to reassure the other party, respond in a timely manner and let them know your busy doing x, y and z and that you will call them later, a specific time/day helps, then follow through, let's be real, ignoring someone is just plain rude regardless of how long you've known them, basic communicate and social skills are required of you. Let's do away with this you don't owe anyone anything mindset, cause you do owe them common courtesy, not that you have to respond in the first 5 seconds or every other minute, it's just basic decency!
Everything you talked about I’ve had experienced with a significant other. Not being able to do things with friends besides hanging with her has taking a toll. Helllllllp Meee
Shouldn't you summarize as stalker behavior? That normally does not come from a man. It comes from someone that is insecure and that type of person will not have a chance with even the lowest life form of woman. If for some chance they do get a woman, it was because they had a lot of money or the lower life form of women, they are with like to have drama instilled in their lives. Just as well as the lower life form of man enjoys the drama. They are in relationships due to an algorithm instilled in them to believe they always need to be with someone.
Never ignore a text even if the person takes days to reply..we are all just really confused, should I text first etc and then both sides don't communicate and yes its difficult but just match the same energy and don't ignore text..we are all just figuring out life.
I’m very weary of seeing the same type of posts re: the same topic. I’m not just sick of it because it doesn’t pertain to me at all, I’m just tired of it period. If any guy is that “clingy” or “needy” or “desperate” he prob has deeper underlying issues just like any woman who is “clingy” “needy” or “desperate”. A few techniques are not going to solve the deeper underlying issues.
And idle mind is a devil's workshop you got to stay busy stay focused on what you're doing don't worry about her she'll come around if she likes you thumbs up Courtney Ryan I agree you are great 😊
Courtney, I love your sense of humor. Especially saying you hope that the guy doesn't literally blow up her phone. That actually is very hilarious. 🤣🤣🤣
I hear ya - Anthony! That’s what you want in a woman - sense of humor is key! Lol There’s nothing sexier to a woman - than a man living his Purpose, a man on a Mission. A lot of guys are not happy because they haven’t figured out what their Purposes in life are. And when you do figure that out - it changes everything! All of a sudden you start looking at your watch a lot more. Time becomes extremely valuable to you - because you now know why you were put on this Earth! And it was definitely - not to be chasing women around! Cheers! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
@@CourtneyRyan serious question Courtney. Is there anything wrong with me being 46 wanting to date a 24 year old woman who I have a connection with. Yes I realise I'm 22 years older than her but at the end of the day she's a grown woman and an adult?
I've thought about what you said in this video and summed it up into an easier thing. Being Desperate and clingy is stressful and implies a lot of effort. If a man is like this, it means he is not ready for a relationship and he should work a little bit with himself. Only when you know that a relationship is not going to cause stress and too much effort when you start it, then you know you're ready to start it. You're a mind opener and I appreciate it.
I admit I did some of the things you've mentioned but now I am aware and know what to do next time. Action + wisdom/knowledge is the key. Thank you Ms. Courtney.
Thank you for this video and your body of work, Courtney! Applied its principles with a woman whose number I got. She disappeared while setting up the first date on text. It's been 8 days. I haven't texted her! And I've moved on. There is hope, men!
Reminds me of the guy that went to Europe and was out of touch the whole time but his girlfriend forgot. He showed a video of his txts and his gf was blowing up his phone. first couple of days to ask what did she do wrong, next couple of days to say she hated him, next to say she has been cheating on him all along, finally to say she's taking back all the stuff he gave her. Apparently while at his place his mom reminded the gf that he was in Europe the next messages were please don't read anything just delete. lol!
I’m generally a determinist and not a behaviorist but neediness is a big turn off for both genders. Unfortunately to make any relationship work you need space as well as proximity. It’s just annoying when someone makes too many demands on your time even if you really like them. I’ve experienced this with pretty girls where their enthusiasm made me uncomfortable.
Hear me out, I give absolutely zero fucks about women, as soon as I lost my faith in them completely, the more you ignore them, the more they will come. And its highkey ridicolous now😂
Courtney I remember at college when dating a girl every girl wanted to date me .When i did not have a girlfriend i could not get a date for the life of me The moral here is you give of a atmosphere that everyone wants success confidence They want what you got ! Cheers Courtney i think you should do this video subject every month to remind guys about clingy your doing all guys a great service girl cheers
My ex was like this. We started off texting at the end of november. Did not know him and he did not know me. December he already loves me. I did not, but i had to say it back😅. If i did not reply to a text, he was worried something was wrong with me. I was just busy. Half January he did ask what are we, because everybody calls me his girlfriend, but he just wants to know for sure. So he did ask me to be his girlfriend. 2 months later he started talking about moving in with him. But i have a daughter, so she needs to move away from her school, and everything. I was not planning doing so this soon. He started to get a bit mad because i said i can't move that far. (Also because my kid needs to see her father and he lives close to us.) One month after this he asked me to marry him, while we are cleaning outside. (I hope it was a joke, because it is not fun to be asked like this with no ring and also.....this fast!???) Few weeks later he askes me again if i did think about moving in. And why i am not thinking about it. You need to think of it right 😅 I just said no. Afther this everything went down. He snores so loud, i slept on the sofa downstairs. He got mad at me for not sleeping in the same bed 😅 He felt insecure when i did not give him attention or when i started texting less. I am not glued to the phone like in the beginning. You can just not get paranoid when i don't text you the whole day.....Don't know what to say and the texting started to be so robotic. I could predict what text he did send 😅😅😅 I started to dislike him to a point i just said no to him to see him ever again. Ended this stupidity in the beginning of May. He assumed i had someone else or i was back with my ex. No honey, i am so happy without you 😂🎉
A person is only as needy as their unmet needs. If you're feeling needy in a relationship, it means your needs aren't being met and you should find someone else. This is the basis of attachment theory.
Well, I’m in a relationship with someone and now he’s saying he wants me to prioritize his texts and respond to him right away. If I don’t answer his small talk texts he gets upset and acts like a baby. Help.
I act like I'm totally okay, but I have a crush on a woman. I wish I could die in her loving arms, but I don’t have the guts to tell her. She's married too. I will die alone, which I'm okay with most of the time. No Serial Killer.
0:26 Blowing up her phone.
3:00 Always worried about what she’s doing.
4:38 You’re rushing things.
5:28 Your life revolves around her.
6:58 Your mood depends on her.
Nice summary - Raghav7657!
Great tips - by Courtney! If a girl is into you, she’ll drop everything for the opportunity to be with you - she’ll even cancel her plans.
Having said that. If she’s not into you - watch out! She’ll find every excuse in the book - in order to avoid seeing you, or texting you back!
So learn to become the type of guy, women can’t resist, and can’t wait to hear from! (I know, that’s easy for me to say…) Lol - but it’s possible!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Well done. Thank you!
This seems like a checklist of everything I did wrong
@@carlosverde-datingtips7001 i know where you coming from , looks are subjective in many cases and if she really finds you sexually attractive, you basically got her and just don’t screw it up and period
@@theworldisimmense I hear ya! Lol
"The person you're with should complement your life, not be your life".... well said, and very wise words indeed Courtney!
Amen to that!
Facts. 🙌🏻
How about: "Pursue excellence, not women. An excellent woman will appear."
That's not how humans work though. It isn't that simple. That's what we call an "empty platitude".
Shout out for this great woman. She is always delivering great advice and sound wisdom. Thank you Courtney for your great service to society. Rock on.🌟🙂
She really is. I heeded a lot of her advice about becoming more confident, taking better care of myself, and how to talk to women and now I have an amazing girlfriend. Courtney is a gift from God. 🙏🏼
This is one of the craziest things I've learned about women. I understand not liking clingy. It smells of desperation, which is very unattractive in men. Totally get it.
But then I heard about how person who cares the least in a relationship controls the relationship. And I learned the hard way that it's true. The nicer I treat my wife, the more distant she gets. Come home, give her a hug and kiss, tell her I love her, she withdraws overtime. I come home and act like she's not really there, she starts treating me nice again. And you wonder why us men give up.
Very good point
Scarcity = value. If you're always nice, being nice has no value anymore. Don't be nice and give away your attention for free, reward her when she deserves it and treats you well. On the flip side, no more being nice and pull back your attention when she is treating you like crap.
@@dtho8542 I understand these principles. It's just frustrating to see these psychological games playing out with people you've been with for years. You would think at some point you could just be yourself, and be honest. Instead we still have to play psychological games with people to get them to treat us good and with respect. Again, makes you just want to walk away from all the bull crap.
@@Meatheus72 Completely agree. I definitely have a lot less energy to try and find someone to settle down with than I used to.
Cool summary
Even at my age (57) I’ve learn so much from Courtney. Sadly, there wasn’t any advice like this when I grew up. I’m only now discovering all my past mistakes and I am looking forward to never repeating them... - Guys, hit that “Like” button, and help Courtney help us and others more; It only takes second.
I absolutely agree - I wish I access to this kind of info in my younger days as well. The pain I could have avoided!
I knew it when I was younger but I still did it, LMAO.
This is beautiful
I'm 51 and agree 100%. However, and maybe you might agree, since you were also dating in the 80s and 90s and early 2000s, I'm guessing, I think that people (including men, from what I hear from my older female friends) had better dating ethics and played less games decades ago. Personally, I am dating a lot more the past 15 years since my divorce, largely due to online dating, but most of it is very short lived, and I had much longer relationships prior to getting married in the early 2000s. I blame a lot of this on social media and the swipe right/swipe left smorgasbord of dating sites giving us a "bigger, better deal out there at the touch of a button" mentality
@@Lonstermash Good to see that I’m not the only older man enjoying Courtney’s help.
I do agree that Social Media and Dating Apps are responsible, and has destroyed more relationships then it has successfully created. I think Courtney and Teddy are sadly a rare success story.
I do think there were less games back in our younger years, but they still existed; just in a different forms. I think it helped that our life rolls were more defined back then and less short term and the instant gratification from today’s hook-ups culture…
For anyone exhibiting these signs, you should read into attachment theory, as these are acts that an anxious-preoccupied person would do. And anxious-preoccupied tend to attract avoidant partners - a very toxic relationship dynamic. Reading more into it and actually working on myself to become more secure really helped me act less clingy!
This is why self respect > self esteem. One relies on you looking at yourself and making decisions based of that. The other seeks outside approval and acceptance through consensus of your peers, all who just might be idiots.
What's a good book on attachment theory do you recommend?
@@avici0182 "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller is the best one out there
The stuff she was mentioning in this video is what I used to do. I had a friend who was a female who told me what I was doing and it woke me up a little bit. This channel is about improving yourself. But you have to be honest with yourself as well. Another great video.
Definitely have been guilty of checking my phone constantly. I've only ever sent a few texts about why they haven't responded. It never goes well. It's good to live your own life and not worry about when she texts back. I think this gets to a point though. I don't want to have every reply be three days later or really late at night waking me up. There has to be a moment when you become more of a priority to them. If not, then I just lose interest in that person.
As you should. Never make someone a priority that uses you as an option. Excellent point about losing interest, more men should be like that.
I agree with what Courtney is saying. Love at first sight, or even first text or first meeting doesn't and shouldn't exist. If you can't wait to text someone or see them again and you can't concentrate on work, didn't those things used to be signs of love? Aren't those natural human emotions? I know, I get annoyed too when a girl texts me constantly and I sense she is desperate. But...when it goes both ways its a good sign. Maybe this is why dating apps don't work. Maybe we should stick to phone calls and meeting people through friends or at book stores and night clubs.
Note to self: Put away the dynamite and don't actually blow up a girl's phone
😂🙌🏼
Women also need to stop being rude. Don't remove them from the equation.
You're right but I think a lot of her advice will lead to a point where. If a woman's rude you can easily walk away from her.
A man of high value shows it through his actions and a woman that wants him will feel like she can't afford to act up.
Women are so rude and quick to judge
You just can’t handle it that’s all. Learn how to handle it. Women can be emotional af like a tidal wave but you need to be a strong rock and stand on business.
Man too 😂
If a female be rude to you but showing signs of she like you she is testing you because she trying to get a reaction out of you and it's your job to not give her a reaction but if she being rude just because and not showing no signs move on because she doesn't like you
On the whole not messaging you back or taking multiple days to message you back, I've just gotten in the habit of ignoring them at this point. I get if you're busy etc, but if it's been multiple days the interest isn't there, or you're not her first choice. If they were interested they would take the time/effort to message back.
Don't put in more effort than you're getting back.
Good one..its happening to me right now ..takes days and I just think it's important to match the same effort 👌 buy I will never ignore a text just pull back and do your own thing :)
Believe me... she is messaging back the guy she likes. Women give dating advice based on fantasy. The reality is do you think she goes days and never speaks to anyone? You know better. She has no interest or respect for you
I never text anyone with twenty messages…if she isn’t replying after the first or second one I stop. Then I might wait a few days and then see whats up. If its the same…NEXT!
🙌🏼 amen
Again... that makes no sense. If she wants you she won't wait 2 days. I guarantee you she doesn't make the tall hot guy wait. She is literally showing you how lil you matter to her
The few days is a woman playing manipulative games... and stop falling for them
I always text saying "who is this and why are you wearing my pyjamas " i got a reply real quick 'because i can "!!
@@CourtneyRyan my girlfriend is too clingy she get upset when i leave for work and hug me all days and nights what i do ??.
I am guilty of most of these and the best way I found to help curb the need to constantly check my phone for an answer or a text, not just from girls but from everyone, is to put your phone away and don't look it at it for the whole day. This behavior may be tied to desperate/clingy behavior but at the same time, it can also be tied to phone addiction and loneliness. If you are secure in yourself and have self-worth, confidence, and show it by taking care of yourself daily and building healthy habits, this behavior should improve. Something I'm currently working on is making more friends so that I feel less lonely and that has also halted this behavior. Phone addiction is real and detrimental to your overall physical and mental health. Put the phone away and you will feel so much better once you check it in 8 hours and see people blowing it up, the same people you thought were ignoring you.
Very solid advice. My phone addiction is real and I’m trying hard to curb this.
This is very true ❤
I was like this in my teens. I was the chaser. No one was interested. So I taught myself if they don't show anything back, make any effort or initiate anything, then they are not worth it and that I should move on. You can learn a great deal over the years as you mature. To this day I wait to meet someone different who will show me signals I've not received before.
But y is it considered desperate or clingy and not having/showin genuine interest? What if we have great conversations and I just enjoy talkin 2 her? And if she's busy/goin 2 be busy, y not just say that? I'll admit, I've done sum of these things wit an ex. What annoyed/frustrated me was that she was always hot & cold, inconsistent, distant, here 2day gone for 2 weeks or recently, 9 months. But Ive never looked at it as desperate or clingy. All I've ever asked 4 was a heads up or let me know sumthin, but I guess that's too much 2 ask 4 or too difficult 2 do 4 sum1 that claims 2 love and care bout u nowadays 🤷♂️
Courtney, you're the best.... God bless you ☺️.. stay happy, stay healthy, and keep growing and shining 🌟
Thank you my friend! ❤️
I'm guilty of the last one although it's not something I'm dating but a crush at work. The days I don't get to talk to her I'm all sad and bummed out. The days where I have her full attention and can make her laugh is the highlight of my day
You guys need the 'attitude'. "The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays or prays. No matter what happens your toes are still tapping. When you've got that you've got the 'attitude'." Demone, Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
The differwnce between needy and desperate is how physically attractive the person is. A hot guy can be in a girls inbox hitting on her and pursuing her and she will consider it confidence and persistence. But if an ugly guy is ina girls inbox the same way, the girl will take his confidence and persistence as desperation and neediness. Everything comes down to looks
yup every unattractive man ALWAYS has an agenda right ladies??
Nah man clingyness isn't good
I choose to hide from women. I work and just go home. I avoid people at all costs; that way, I don't embarrass myself by being myself.
@Black Boy King TV how is that sad, I mind my business and don't bother anyone. I keep to myself because most people are looking to take advantage of you.
Growing up lot of things have happened to me. I was always alone , teachers and other kids including my cousins they all used to bully me. So whenever I find a friend I just clings on to that person and scare that person away. This video is very useful even if you are a girl
Its not being clingy, the reason a guy acts fast or first is becuase he don't want to loose the girl he loves, the odds of a girl making the first move are slim to none, so if a guy falls in love with a woman and makes a move, then the girl thinks it's clingy? Well let's say he don't do nothing at all and or waits for the girl, and nothing happens and in the end she says, why didn't you say anything.? Well get my point, so basically it's up to or the woman's decision to love and judge, make the move, because if the man does it , it's all messed up. In the end it's all about getting the girl you love, so it's like a rat race to impress .
Overthinking is definitely one I’ve struggled with and most definitely something I’m working on overcoming.
The overthinking was a constant struggle in my past relationship. I was worried about "does she still love me", "does she still appreciate me?".... etc. In general I struggled to keep healthy distance from her and it was always a topic of arguments. Thank you Ms. Ryan for this helpful video on the "Anxious" Attachment.
Went on 2 dates with a girl I had tons of chemistry with and had a lot in common but I think trying to set up a date every week kinda turned her off and she slowly ghosted. Hurt a lot because I don't think I'm gonna find someone like her again
You’ll definitely find another one trust me. IMO the girl should try and setup dates (or at least give ideas) if she’s actually interested so if you were setting everything up, good riddance. Make room for the next.
Same.
How about everybody get off dating apps and stop texting. That’s solves that problem.
Thanks again for giving advice that most men are not taught growing up, but should be. As someone who is 35 and married, I still listen for ways to improve my relationship with my wife. I can’t help but think, “this is everything I wish I knew when I was younger (teens to early twenties).” I’m glad you are making a great difference for the men who have been fortunate to find your channel.
It's a lot a pressure to put on someone to make them your whole life and depend on them for how you feel.
Absolutely. Not good!
Easy fix talk to multiple woman
As someone who’s struggled with anxious attachment for years, it was easy to think that I was the only one and that there was something wrong with me.
Spot on about not having a passion or purpose. Once I got a job (I work in healthcare) and started working out I found something to look forward to everyday and invest in.
Now I have a healthy relationship with dating and have no issues going on platonic coffee dates and I know I’ll be ok if things just don’t pan out how I thought they would in my head. You aren’t alone fellas, work on you.
If you have time to waste blowing up somebody's phone or text, you have time to lift weights or read a good book. Reminds me of epic desperate part in "Dumb and Dumber":
Lloyd Christmas: "What are my chances?"
Mary Swanson: "Not good"
Lloyd: "You mean not good like one out of a hundred?"
Mary: " I'd say more like one out a million"
Lloyd: "So you're telling me there's a chance. Yeah!!!!!!!!!"
What she conveniently forgets to mention is that a female can't be reasoned with using logic. Yes she will get angry if she feels slighted or ignored. And the actual reality is women will get angry either way. The important point she has no clue about is to already know this will happen. But your reaction can't be logic or anger... let her weather out the storm of irrational emotion she is having. And actually after she will make it up to you. This is advice a woman can't give you... cuz they haven't dated women as a male. They give advice on what they truly have no experience about
No matter how good she looks, someone somewhere is tired of her shit 🎉
I cant stress enough how much every point you talked about resembles how I am right now. Thank you, it was really an eye opener. I owe you one 🙏🏻
Thank you for the great advice, my BIG SISTER Courtney!🙂👍
An attachment problem video would really help a lot of us :)... looking forward to it, thanks Courtney!
I agree that women don't owe you an explanation if they don't reply back. However, they could have the courtesy of just unmatching you so you aren't thinking they will.
No man should text a woman 20 times a day that comes by as real clingy woman are clingy too just in a different way
I'm guilty of being too aloof and not engaged, too chill (this is not always a great thing)...I need to work on that.
think i went through a crash course in modern dating for the past 1 year since divorce. Low self-esteem, desperate and clingy (went through every single point in this vid), constant rejection, etc.
really a painful process of growing in this area in my mid 30s and finally learn to let it go and not putting a girl on a pedestal (most of the time).
Dude's writing back-to-back texts and blowing up a girl's phone without getting a reply are impulsive and are unable to delay gratification. They expect the girl to have an eye on the conversation 24/7 with no other priorities going on in life. Speaks volumes about the guy having nothing going for them to be able to devote that type of time on a stranger especially, if they're just at the communication stage.
Being Desperate & Clingy Will Make You Lose Your Mind & That Is Flip Flopping.
This video was incredibly helpful. Thank you!
Yes we do owe it to people to show common courtesy. Ghosting is for socially inept children, real women don't ghost.
Omg a man loves you too much…. Maybe a dude is worried she’s cheating because it’s insanely common nowadays… come down from the high horse future cat lady.
Guilty of these things. And every word echoed.
Currently in the middle of redesigning myself to rebuild and reclaim my original goals.
I don't do any of these so im not really desperate
Good! 🙌🏼
Yep, Courtney has it right. If we don't have a life outside needing a woman, we're then dependent on a woman. That's insecurity brought on by domestication lacking in love and acceptance, among other things. When you have your own life, you can take or leave her; she'll see that and then do what it takes to keep your attention. That's true at any age. I do this all the time; I follow Courtney's recommendations of staying in shape, working out, eating all my own food, not eating out, absolutely no adult beverages, and not giving a *****crap**** about what a woman thinks about me. However, when you are one of the best in shape men, anywhere you go, you command attention without saying anything. They will find ways of getting near. As they do, I ease my way a little further away from them; you talk about getting her stirred up, and she'll rub her breasts against you nonchalantly as she eases by. I love that as I act as though she never touched me. They go home wondering why they didn't get my attention and start looking at their self thinking about what's wrong with what they look like. That builds their insecurity tenfold.
Regards
Ask to her to hook up. If she's interested she'll say yes, if she's not she'll ignore, change the subject, or flat out say no.
If she does anything in the no column or wastes time, do not get upset or argue, just say no worries and move on to the next girl. Or ask the next girl right in front of last one, thats fun too.
You're not putting pressure on her, in her mind these decisions have already been made. Stop being a wuss, and be direct, and be okay if she does not like you like that.
Eventually you'll figure out what type of girls are into you, and make things more efficient.
I'll be honest, I wasn't too much of a fan of your videos in the past, but I have to say that your advice on this one really opened my eyes. Thank you for that, there's so many thing I wish I could've learned before.
3 msg n a row max until she replies, strive 2 keep ur msgs 2 d pt 2 avoid big'o paragraphs, n don't always b the 1 starting every single convo n d beginning, n give her sum space 2 breath
Chatting on WhatsApp I have notifications off for everyone except family. I'll get to the messages when I'm on my phone but I won't be waiting anxiously staring at it.
Great advice as usual, Courtney!
🙌🏼❤️
Go 50% let her go the another 50% I've had times where I would be over board and I find it's better to be mutual in any situation.
Good tips
This is so me right now, and this couldn't have come at a better time. Thank you for helping me realize the areas I need work on
Nobody should be exhibiting this type of behavior and that goes for girls too. But the thing is, it's too easy to read a title like this and think "that's not me". Another thing is pointing out some "symptoms" or issues and saying "just work on it" is not exactly a detailed action plan. Same for those who say "I'm working on myself", the question is how. It's too easy to acknowledge a problem but then not know how to fix it. If one already knew what to do and how to solve it, then why is it still a problem? For certain things sometimes people don't know what to do. Life is a journey. Don't just do what you need to fix the problem, we should all aim to keep growing.
She's right about over texting, been guilty of this, but one way to address this is to reassure the other party, respond in a timely manner and let them know your busy doing x, y and z and that you will call them later, a specific time/day helps, then follow through, let's be real, ignoring someone is just plain rude regardless of how long you've known them, basic communicate and social skills are required of you. Let's do away with this you don't owe anyone anything mindset, cause you do owe them common courtesy, not that you have to respond in the first 5 seconds or every other minute, it's just basic decency!
I feel bad for all the men trying to date in this generation. Just wait for robot wife coming soon.
Everything you talked about I’ve had experienced with a significant other. Not being able to do things with friends besides hanging with her has taking a toll. Helllllllp Meee
Shouldn't you summarize as stalker behavior? That normally does not come from a man. It comes from someone that is insecure and that type of person will not have a chance with even the lowest life form of woman. If for some chance they do get a woman, it was because they had a lot of money or the lower life form of women, they are with like to have drama instilled in their lives. Just as well as the lower life form of man enjoys the drama. They are in relationships due to an algorithm instilled in them to believe they always need to be with someone.
Never ignore a text even if the person takes days to reply..we are all just really confused, should I text first etc and then both sides don't communicate and yes its difficult but just match the same energy and don't ignore text..we are all just figuring out life.
I don’t even text women first anymore. If she likes you then she’ll talk to you.
Idk. If she is having problems responding to your texts in a timely manner it's usually an indicator that shes probably not all that into you.
Bingo
Do not be interested in women .Be fokused in yourself.Do not expect do not flirt do not forse.Love yourself and ignore the women.
I’m very weary of seeing the same type of posts re: the same topic. I’m not just sick of it because it doesn’t pertain to me at all, I’m just tired of it period. If any guy is that “clingy” or “needy” or “desperate” he prob has deeper underlying issues just like any woman who is “clingy” “needy” or “desperate”. A few techniques are not going to solve the deeper underlying issues.
React to hamza
I seem to recall these things being a predominantly female problem. How did the tide change like this?
I'm single but my life revolves around my faith and my art. I'm in 3 projects.
And idle mind is a devil's workshop you got to stay busy stay focused on what you're doing don't worry about her she'll come around if she likes you thumbs up Courtney Ryan I agree you are great 😊
I wish I have a time machine.
You know, so I can go back 20 years ago and smack these life lessons to my younger self
Courtney, I love your sense of humor. Especially saying you hope that the guy doesn't literally blow up her phone. That actually is very hilarious. 🤣🤣🤣
😂 gotta keep it lighthearted here!! Lol thank you
I hear ya - Anthony! That’s what you want in a woman - sense of humor is key! Lol
There’s nothing sexier to a woman - than a man living his Purpose, a man on a Mission. A lot of guys are not happy because they haven’t figured out what their Purposes in life are.
And when you do figure that out - it changes everything! All of a sudden you start looking at your watch a lot more.
Time becomes extremely valuable to you - because you now know why you were put on this Earth! And it was definitely - not to be chasing women around! Cheers!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
@@CourtneyRyan serious question Courtney. Is there anything wrong with me being 46 wanting to date a 24 year old woman who I have a connection with. Yes I realise I'm 22 years older than her but at the end of the day she's a grown woman and an adult?
@@Kickback-dm7zt no there is nothing wrong. We all want that new car smell.
@@CourtneyRyan hobbies that I'm passionate about that don't include her are building scale models, racing dirt bikes and practicing martial arts.
I've thought about what you said in this video and summed it up into an easier thing. Being Desperate and clingy is stressful and implies a lot of effort. If a man is like this, it means he is not ready for a relationship and he should work a little bit with himself. Only when you know that a relationship is not going to cause stress and too much effort when you start it, then you know you're ready to start it. You're a mind opener and I appreciate it.
Phone blow up? Courtney, dont give them ideas🤣🤣 But seriously let her miss you, not geting tired of you.
just need some time stamps for the key points as adorable as watcching you can be
It's a scarcity mentality. Come guys. Cut it out
This came in handy. Ughhh why didn’t I learn this sooner. Gotta look at the positives now and the changes I’m currently making. ❤
Get out your notepad fellas this is gonna be good for y'all!
📝
If I am "desperate" and "clingy", then why is my favorite animal the koala?
Woman gives men advice about women!
I admit I did some of the things you've mentioned but now I am aware and know what to do next time. Action + wisdom/knowledge is the key. Thank you Ms. Courtney.
hey Courtney , i really need personal help here , how can i contact you ?
Thank you for this video and your body of work, Courtney! Applied its principles with a woman whose number I got. She disappeared while setting up the first date on text. It's been 8 days. I haven't texted her! And I've moved on. There is hope, men!
Reminds me of the guy that went to Europe and was out of touch the whole time but his girlfriend forgot. He showed a video of his txts and his gf was blowing up his phone. first couple of days to ask what did she do wrong, next couple of days to say she hated him, next to say she has been cheating on him all along, finally to say she's taking back all the stuff he gave her.
Apparently while at his place his mom reminded the gf that he was in Europe the next messages were please don't read anything just delete. lol!
0 girls wanna date now wtf is the point of this
And the sister of the year award goes too: Mrs. Courtney Ryan Baldassarre
I love desperate guys.❤
Do not be her father ... be her man
I’m generally a determinist and not a behaviorist but neediness is a big turn off for both genders. Unfortunately to make any relationship work you need space as well as proximity. It’s just annoying when someone makes too many demands on your time even if you really like them. I’ve experienced this with pretty girls where their enthusiasm made me uncomfortable.
I've been Happy to Come cross your Channel.
Your contents are insightful.
Hear me out, I give absolutely zero fucks about women, as soon as I lost my faith in them completely, the more you ignore them, the more they will come. And its highkey ridicolous now😂
Courtney I remember at college when dating a girl every girl wanted to date me .When i did not have a girlfriend i could not get a date for the life of me The moral here is you give of a atmosphere that everyone wants success confidence They want what you got ! Cheers
Courtney i think you should do this video subject every month to remind guys about clingy
your doing all guys a great service girl cheers
it's called pre-selection. Girls want guys that other girls want. Women are communitarian in their thinking. Group think even,
I have freinds like this...
My ex was like this. We started off texting at the end of november. Did not know him and he did not know me. December he already loves me. I did not, but i had to say it back😅. If i did not reply to a text, he was worried something was wrong with me. I was just busy. Half January he did ask what are we, because everybody calls me his girlfriend, but he just wants to know for sure. So he did ask me to be his girlfriend. 2 months later he started talking about moving in with him. But i have a daughter, so she needs to move away from her school, and everything. I was not planning doing so this soon. He started to get a bit mad because i said i can't move that far. (Also because my kid needs to see her father and he lives close to us.) One month after this he asked me to marry him, while we are cleaning outside. (I hope it was a joke, because it is not fun to be asked like this with no ring and also.....this fast!???) Few weeks later he askes me again if i did think about moving in. And why i am not thinking about it. You need to think of it right 😅 I just said no. Afther this everything went down. He snores so loud, i slept on the sofa downstairs. He got mad at me for not sleeping in the same bed 😅 He felt insecure when i did not give him attention or when i started texting less. I am not glued to the phone like in the beginning. You can just not get paranoid when i don't text you the whole day.....Don't know what to say and the texting started to be so robotic. I could predict what text he did send 😅😅😅 I started to dislike him to a point i just said no to him to see him ever again. Ended this stupidity in the beginning of May. He assumed i had someone else or i was back with my ex. No honey, i am so happy without you 😂🎉
A person is only as needy as their unmet needs. If you're feeling needy in a relationship, it means your needs aren't being met and you should find someone else. This is the basis of attachment theory.
Just another gold digger
Best I can do is indifferent.
Well, I’m in a relationship with someone and now he’s saying he wants me to prioritize his texts and respond to him right away. If I don’t answer his small talk texts he gets upset and acts like a baby. Help.
I think the only place I feel my mood is dependent is my favorite football team lol
I act like I'm totally okay, but I have a crush on a woman. I wish I could die
in her loving arms, but I don’t have the guts to tell her. She's married too. I will die alone, which I'm okay with most of the time. No Serial Killer.