Boundaries With An Alcoholic Spouse (part 2)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ธ.ค. 2022
- Find out the correct way to set healthy boundaries with an alcoholic spouse. (with examples!)
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Don't set a boundary that you aren't willing to follow through.
💯💯💯💯💯💯
Very helpful. Im in a blended family and my fiance struggles with alcohol and there are nights where she tries to enforce punishment on my children and raises hell when I interfere. I feel at a loss on where to start with setting a boundary on her being a disciplinarian to my kids while shes drinking without it being an explosion.
Just found your channel. Thank you so much. Such good info. I have compiled a list of statements and questions I’m bringing to our couples counseling tomorrow. I had my alcoholic get very mad on a boundary I set but the person encouraging didn’t realize to tell me until after that most times that happens and to not take it personally.
Alanon helps too.
Glad this was helpful!
I had to kick my boyfriend out because he was starting to become physically abusive. I have still been talking to him but I don't think I can handle the verbal, emotional, and mental abuse anymore. I can't keep my cool when he's like that. And I can't just not talk to him when he drinks because he doesn't tell me when he's drinking. I just end up finding out by him being a jerk. It's hard because I really love him and he's a good guy when he's sober, but I'm becoming increasingly resentful of the person he becomes when he drinks.
So sorry you're in that situation. But I'm glad you're here. I think you'll find lots of helpful resources on this channel. P.S. Love your profile name 😜
This is really really useful
I've grown frustrated with folks instructing to "just set more boundaries." But for someone like me who has had an extreme difficulty with even understanding what boundaries are, this type of video is gold! ✨ Clear examples or what a good boundary sounds like and feels like, and how to think of following through is great. Thank you!
I scored A+ on the healthy boundaries quiz that you linked. That’s a neat quiz.
Nice work, Mona! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐A++++++++
Learn how to set healthy boundaries 👉🏻👉🏻th-cam.com/video/40fZyoCz8xU/w-d-xo.html
This is random but has anyone heard from Sober Dogs, Kyle?! Thinking about him he has been gone for months 😔
That's a great question. I haven't heard from him in a while, either
I got them right 😁 I'm learning. The one about forcing them to a meeting is actually manipulation on the sober person's side. Manipulation isn't ok even when there's good intentions.
spot on!
is it ok boundary as a wife not to hav physical relation unless they bevome sober ???
Good day after Christmas. I just found your videos this week. After watching many of them I think I've come to the conclusion I just don't want to help my friend with their addictions. I survived a 31 year marriage to someone addicted, I do not have the desire or fight left in me to do it again. They informed me today that they don't want to give up their addictions. (Not that they have a problem 🙄) Do you have specific videos that deals with the emotions of walking away from someone? To keep this in context this friend walked with me through my divorce an the loss of several family members, so I'm left feeling like the loser if I walk away.
forget the 'boundary', just leave.
“I’m not sure I’m comfortable going with you again on a tropical, anniversary vacation. Seeing you get so intoxicated that last night, drinking cocktail after cocktail poolside, and then stumbling and falling over and hitting your head in our hotel room, and blood running down your face from the rug burns was somewhat traumatizing and upsetting for me. I don’t want to experience that again.” 😞How is that for an appropriate boundary for my highly, highly functioning (so functioning I don’t even know for sure if he’s an alcoholic) husband, since that is only the second time I’ve seen him like that in the past 5 years. Kind of sucks cuz I’m not sure I won’t to hold that boundary and never go on vacation with him again, yet because of his complete indifference, I felt I had to say something to let him know how his behavior affected me.
Great example and question.. I wouldn't put all those details in. Because, it's going to feel like a jab. You could say something like...I think I'd rather go to _____________. I still have some not so great memories from last years tropical vacation. He'll know what you're talking about. No need to spell it out.
I'm not an expert but you can also say, if I feel like there's going to be a repeat of the last vacation then I'm not going on vacation with you. It's tough but you have to decide if this is a boundary you're going to hold. Are you ready to say NO?
I'll leave some of my wrong answers on the 1st video.
I did watch it on a faster speed. I think if I had watched it twice before commenting, I'd probably get 💯
I'm giving you an A++++ ⭐
@@PutTheShovelDown Oooooo! Very generous 😅
What about boundaries when the alcoholic is the sole provider, but the sober spouse is the one paying the bills and managing from the joint account?
Will you do boundaries with an alcoholic parent/grandparent?
😬 ... I have to improve🤔
It's not easy!
This is tricky to learn.
It really is, Christina. I have to stop and think about it myself.
I've learned from watching LOTS of videos. A boundary is about the action we will take if someone is doing something around us that makes us uncomfortable. A rule is telling someone they can or can't do something & unfortunately we can't make people listen & obey even when we know it's helpful.