8 Lies Addicts/Alcoholics Tell (Warning!#7 Will Be Upsetting) 😠
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ส.ค. 2024
- If you're addicted loved one is telling you these things, you're being lied to. How many of these lies have you heard?
How To Confront Lies 👉🏻 • The Best Way to Confro...
Chapters/Timestamps:
00:00 8 Lies Addicts/Alcoholics Tell
00:46 #1 "I only hide it because..."
01:46 #2 "This is the first time that has happened."
02:13 #3 Finding evidence and being told, "That's old!"
02:43 #4 "It's the only thing that helps me with _____."
03:42 #5 "Everyone is doing it."
04:40 #6 "It won't happen again."
05:19 #7 Any version of, "It's your fault."
06:05 #8 "I'll pay you back."
📢Get Access To Our Advanced Skills Training. 👇🏻
www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...
💯Understand Who You Truly Are...Incredibly accurate personality tests that light up your life-at home, at work, and in relationships 👉🏻 www.truity.com/?a=5122460
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
🌐Visit Our Website:
www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...
🆓FREE Downloadable Resources:
www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...
🙋🏻♀️FB group for family members:
/ familyrecoverysupport
📆Make An Appointment With One Of Our Specialists:
www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...
Learn More About The Invisible Intervention:
www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...
___________________________________________________________________________________
SUPPORT THIS CHANNEL:
If you find our videos helpful, there are several WAYS YOU CAN HELP us reach more people:
1. 👍🏻💬Liking, commenting, and SHARING our videos is a FREE and easy way to help us spread our message of recovery.
2. Consider leaving us a review on Google. 🆓 (This helps us tremendously!): g.page/r/CT0YdeZnEeEtEBM/review
3. MAKE A DONATION through PayPal: www.paypal.com/paypalme/hopef...
🌐Visit Our Website:
www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...
🆓FREE Downloadable Resources:
www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...
🙋🏻♀️FB group for family members:
/ familyrecoverysupport
📆Make An Appointment With One Of Our Specialists:
www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...
Learn More About The Invisible Intervention:
www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...
💟THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT 🙏🏻
__________________________________________________________________________________
💌Access counseling anytime/anywhere through Better Help: (Use this link to get 10% off!)
www.betterhelp.com/PutTheShov...
(**Better Help is a sponsor of Put The Shovel Down. Using Better Help counseling services helps support our channel!**)
💌💌More on dealing with Manipulative Behaviors: 👉🏻👉🏻 th-cam.com/video/f-gq_N1cEFo/w-d-xo.html
So tired of the lies, sneaking, hiding. I don't have the emotional energy to fight to help them anymore.
💔💔💔
Addiction is pain. For everyone involved in the addicts life.
True story!
You are describing my life with my alcoholic husband. It is so very disturbing, but good to know that I am not paranoid
Yep! My mother hid Vodka bottles literally everywhere! My husband hides his hard stuff but keeps his beer in the garage frig. I don't say anything. I found the hard stuff before. I told him he does not need to hide it from me. Something told me where it was. He never responds. Silence. I have to say I don't trust him. It's constant anxiety.
That’s a symptom of an addict. They will hide it. Don’t take it personally
It appears that when the person says "This is the first time " what they really mean is "This is the first time I was careless enough to leave it out in the open or do it out in the open".
"I'll be there soon"
"I'm at a friend's house"
Classic!
I'll be there soon is very triggering to me
"you are always trying to diagnose me" haha! Favourite one from my ex.
Help yourself. Can't change other people, but you can visualize them well. Stay strong mamas.
The "you knew who I was and I liked to drink before we dated" excuse. I heard this all the time.
"I'm just going for a walk to get some fresh air" I learnt meant they were going to buy alcohol
Going for a walk alone it's awfully common
I hear that first one, a lot!
The more I learn about addiction on this channel, the more convinced I am that alcohol is going to be a deal breaker when someone says they want a longer, deeper relationship with me in the future.
Yes! I've heard the fist one a whole lot of times too
I have heard many many young movie stars say.on tv celebrity gossip shows "I'm doing what everyone else is doing. I'm just blending in with everyone else in my social circle. I don't drink any more than any one else. If I left the cocktail party circuit, I would not have any friends."
Yip. I've heard #4, #5, #6 and #8 over and over and over again. I also use to get "I only had two drinks " and "someone spiked my drink" all the time.
Family members sometimes do these things too because our addiction to the person leads us to make bad decisions, lie, manipulate and cover up too.
So true!
"It's the only thing that makes me feel normal."
I’ve heard all of these over the years. I am hearing some change talk. Never thought I’d hear that. I’ll take any baby step.
That's good news, Sandie!
That’s a good one Silva, my son saids that exact thing. Even ask me” do you need anything while I’m there?” Don’t come back for hours
“It’s your fault” my cousin is struggling with his alcoholic wife with sadly narcissistic tendencies and has absolutely accepted this lie in the past. He is starting to see though her drinking is a nightmare in their marriage but she is the breadwinner and holds the financial strings which makes it really hard. The wife ever since he has known her has had an addiction problem with alcohol and dhe now blames him entirely so she can continue this lifestyle unchallenged . There is never one photo or video we see on social media that she does not have a glass of wine in her hands. Your videos really help me trying to understand this and her behaviour because I’m very close to my cousin and hate to see him treated this way.
Love your sense of humor
Awww, thanks. Sometimes people find it offensive because of the sensitive nature of the topic. But when you're in it day in and day out, you have to develop a sense of humor to survive!
So good. I have heard most of these.
1. You give me anxiety.
2. Your (missing) father did this to us.
3. "Mom still drinks". (To grandmother- which is a lie).
4. I promise I'm done this time.
5. Just play invisible.
6. Get mad at parent for having 30 year old pay rent. (Minimal).
7. What's wrong with you? You're always blaming me for your problems.
8. I quit drinking. (After finding mini bottles all over the place).
9. I only drink at music venues.
Ad infinitum.
An alcoholic will stop drinking when the desire to move on is stronger than the desire to quit.
Great list!
So many of these hitting home. This is exhausting..makes me sick how many times I’ve been hurt with, “it won’t happen again”.. it does. Cheating, lying, hiding. 😞 I won’t leave though..too much love there
So informative, thanks!
Thank you for watching Summer!
Or another thing they may say is its not mine it’s my friends…. Or its the only things that gets me to go to work … or sometimes they say its not u thats doing it its me so how does it affect you that one makes me really mad…
Spot on, Tati!
Uughhh 😫
The one I'm never able to overcome is "I use drugs to cope with. . ." But in my son's case, he says he uses because everytime he got clean before, he just wanted to end his life. After over 2 years on the streets, addicted to fentanyl, he's checked himself into detox twice, the last time was in Oct, he left after 10 days, just when he was supposed to go to a rehab facility.
I know when he says this, HE believes it (he's basically played this same negative "reasoning" in his mind for so long that he's convinced himself of this) I tell him that he's never gotten off this drug AND followed up with 24/7 help in a rehab program. I've even said to him "give it at least 6 months and if you don't feel the tiniest bit better, then you can at least say you tried" but all I ever hear is "nope, I KNOW I'll never be able to handle all the pain I feel if I'm not high"
Is there a different way to combat that mindset or something different I could be saying?
Sorry to hear 💔 it takes a toll on us watching them suffer this way. Hang in there.
@@tatijai6913 thank you so much for that! But we never give up on the ones we love, especially our children ✨️
You're 100% right, Jennifer. It's a way of letting himself off the hook for trying to beat it.
@@PutTheShovelDown do you have any suggestion for a short, to the point, response to overcome that? Or should I simply call him out on why he says that (letting himself off the hook)?
I’m just going to get gas or to the store and they don’t come back. They go out to drink all night.
Yup!
Thank you 😊
You're most welcome 😊
I’ll do better is what I hear.
I agree that it is wrong to make an impulsive, sudden promise if there is no plan to actually prevent the shocking event from happening again.
if you don't know what the emotional trigger was, how will you stop the shocking event from happening again?
If the dominos line up again, what is going to stop the first one from falling?
I've heard almost all of these. He fully blames his need for alcohol on ME. 😁
He blames the fact that I've called the police twice over the course of our 2 year relationship...on ME.
Currently, it is a violation of his probation to consume alcohol and yet, he's been drinking almost every night while I'm away at work.
I know, because when I come home I can smell it on his breath.
He goes on long walks in the middle of the afternoon - carrying his giant coffee mug that never seems to be empty anymore & as soon as he comes home, he'll go brush his teeth!!
Today, I discovered a half empty bottle of bloody Mary mix that he'd stolen out of my pantry, along with an opened (half empty) bottle of Tito's vodka in the trunk of his car & guess what he said when I saw them?!
He claimed he bought them for the construction crew doing work in my apartment complex!!!! 😮😂
Yes!!! Half empty bottles!!!!
He bought them for the construction guys!!!! 😂😂😂😂
And, he actually proceeded to run across the parking lot to give the bottles to them!!!!
And, he also actually told them not to let me take them!!!! 😅😮😮😮
But, as soon as the coast was clear - that's the first thing I did!
I ran & threw them down a nearby storm drain before he could see me!!
I mean...MY GOD! This is my life!!!
It’s not mine!! Is another one omg. Your videos are so helpful!
I'm so glad!
Sadly, he chain smokes weed "because it helps..." and encouraged me to do it with him, and I'm not that way. I completely stopped after feeling like I was in a coma, and he'd get mad because I didn't get things done, yet he didn't either. It got bad after a couple of years when he got into contact with a friend (this was when I was using weed with him until last year as I had my medical so I was more "chill" in my coma state of mind) and then started the tell tale sign of "Jack jaw". His friend does anything, and only when he's been around this guy does his jaw start adjusting, yet I hear every excuse. All I did, especially after quitting smoking, was get more hurt, the resentment built, and the anger. I got "it's your fault" a lot because I'm disabled and all I got was begrudgingly half butted help like I was just ruining his day and by no means did that help my attitude. I had a fiance in the past. I caught doing the hard stuff, that's why I told this guy I dont wanna be around it before we even got married. Then he moved his friend next to us with his addict girlfriend saying "they know I dont allow it around me" even though when I 1st met them she got ticked because we ordered weed over the hard stuff which is "cheaper and a better high" and I'm the unreasonable one. I can't do it anymore.
Hiding drinking, lies- I’m going to pick up some stuff at grocery store. 3 hours later…. Lol! No your going to get your drink on. Like I’m dumb enough to believe that one. Or the other great ones you come up when you disappear.😮😮 Same crap different day😊
I've learned my lesson
The money issue is I haven’t gotten pay that why I need to borrow
"You can trust me " " I promise Ill be back right after work"😑😒😒 God and Google maps is prolly the only think I trust these days.
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
I can stop anytime I want 😪
👍🌷!!
"I'm only doing this thing, this lying about my drinking because I want you to stay in your pretty little bubble of fantasy instead of knowing the ugly truth".
sounds like a lame, far fetched excuse.
I was told he hid his crack pipe bcuz he knew how I would react to it and he only kept it so he could sleep with it when I’m not there so he remembered what he had to lose. 🤦🏻♀️
Wow! That's a dozy 😲🤭
tx
I didn't cheat on you !!! All the proof is there and in a sober moment they even opened up and explained they cheated but then turned around 2 weeks later and said they only admitted it cuz it was what I wanted to hear . Wtf why ????