Every one of these hit on my only sister. Sadly, I was left with no choice but to go no contact. I finally feel free after decades of dealing with her. Yes, it broke my heart because she's the only family I had left and I love her. But I had to do it for my mental, emotional and physical health and well-being..
I did this too but there was *NO* love lost. I was fed up with her foul mouth and upsetting me. I could feel myself physically about to explode with every call so I just ended it. I blocked her so she could not call me. I had a heart attack eventually from being too stressed out with too many things bothering me, but I Felt it was important to put a stop to an annoyance family or no family (only by birth!!!)
i gotta say that cutting someone off because you would continously feel drained after interacting with them is quite sad especially if the person that you end contact with is someone who is just awkward, shy, and just doesn't have good socializing skills.
As a mom of adult children who has been alienated because of their dad-- PLEASE try to have open communication BEFORE you discard someone. It hurts more than the loss from death when people you love with all your heart will not even hear your side of a situation. 😢 💔
Or even when they do grant you audience to hear your side, they still nevertheless instead chose to beIeve the other person, even when that side is a complete lie. I notice later those two friends will have a terrible falling out, but pride keeps them from admitting you were right.
It's so true that unhealthy and or toxic relationships are not good for our emotional and mental health! i always say it's better to have contact with people and even your own family in your life who make you happy than those who don't make you happy, because you see, we cannot change anyone! even God cannot change people unless they want him to!, because he gave everyone a free will, and does not force his will on anyone!, i know of some people who have gotten more sicker, because they didn't have a good life, or relationship, it is sad, but it's better to be well alone, than be with someone and be sick!.
My brother was/is physically abusive. I never meant anything to him except his private punching bag. After dad died, I parted ways with my brother. 7.5 years later he made a strong effort to reconnect. He said he wouldn't ever strike blows again. I didn't believe him but he persisted and I thought maybe he had learned that I am a human who doesn't wish to be punched whenever he wants to. So, RELUCTANTLY I agreed to be brothers once more but gave him stern warning about the abuse -that the abuse would end the relationship. Two years later he got mad about a stalled snow machine I was driving and said "hit me, just HIT ME!". Twice in the last 24 years he had tried to reconcile but I know what he will do again and again....... Certain mutual friends have relayed that he feels much remorse. I do not believe he is even capable of changing after he has had several chances and always failed. I would rather have no contact with him at all than be his personal punching bag. He just cannot keep his fists to himself. I am tired of the abuse.
I don't blame you, because there is no excuse for ''Abuse" if you forgive your brother, it doesn't mean that he have to be in your life!, forgive him for you, you would not do it for him!, and of course forgiving a person doesn't mean it's okay what he or she did! that is your choice to forgive him or not. your brother has proven to you that he is an abuser, and unless he gets help, he will abuse someone else!
I had to cut off ties with my own daughter ( yes, I know))... because the disrespect, utter cruel manipulation treatment, and worst thing, was she never says sorry... EVER... Im a 44 year old man, and it hurts like he'll guys.... but yes, she is 21, and it's been the same all her life... the cup has just overflowed with disrespect and a lack of remorse... People like that leave you feeling it is your fault, and I just can't beat a dead horse anymore... for anyone making a tough decision on letting family go until they see the error of their ways... I wish you the best cos you will need it as it's a feeling of being left holding the bag
It's your choice to forgive her or not, if you forgive her, then you will be doing it for you, not for her! there are bad parents and bad children too, not saying you are bad, but there are bad parents, my parents were bad people!, i had a toxic relationship with them, because they had no respect for me! they always tried to change me, and always wanted to control my life, treated me like a child!, and wanted me to please them all the time! they were just sick and sad! my mother was always criticizing me, and never wanted changes for the better! and my parents were mentally ill! they both passed away in 2008, my mother was 68 and my father was 70. and good riddance!!! i'm so glad i don't have to put up with their emotional abuse! and deal with them anymore! i don't know your daughter, but seems to me she didn't have any respect for you! and just wanted you to please her all the time! and yes, for many people, it is best to cut off ties with family members who are difficult and abusive, and not seem to want to change!
Wait until she's a bit older. I understand if a friend acts this way to get rid of htem, but a family member is different. She might be going through something pretty bad. I know when I was around 16, I would lash out at my mum a lot and it wasn't about her, it was about bullying I was getting at school. She didn't understand my suffering though. I am 34 now and I did apologise to her for the way I acted. So maybe take a break from your daughter and see what happens. She might grow up.
For me, Filipino culture values reflection on one's roots to reach one's destination, as reflected in the saying, 'A person who does not look back at where he came from will not reach his destination.' My mother was one to remind me of this saying. Family and friends have up and down, misunderstanding. Relationships is not perfect.
@@charlitavisado4103 relationships are not perfect true but that doesn’t mean they should be a source of sorrow and stress. People should try making them stable and comforting
I had to cut off a girlfriend. She only calls me when she needs something usually money related. The last straw was her, asking me to watch her house for a week. While she visits family in Europe. I was like ok? But then she says it will be like staying at an Air bnb, and i get the boyfriend rate of $350 per week. 😅 I'm like, no....😅
It's worth it if this is who you are surrounded by. Better to be alone at peace than with people who suck the life out of you without a second thought.
@@aisforapple2494 I feel you. I feel like if I followed all these tips I'd have no one, except for family. My famil are great, it's the non-family I have trouble with. Mostly one sided communication and me putting in all the work. And I stopped doing this for 3+ months now and none of those people have reached out.
Words of wisdom make sure they pay the ultimate price for being wronged no matter what or you will never be able to live with yourself if you let em off the hook
I agree about this however, never cut off your family. This video is Toxic. This is why people dont have friends anymore, just online friendships they can walk away from. Instead of communicating and working things out we just cut them off?
this is why i no longer consider my former mother as anything but my landlord, and only because I'm too disabled to move. she's still got my life in her hands, but I cannot ever trust her ever again so i'm very stuck and hoping I die soon just to escape her for good. also, when you're an indigenous genocide victim who's gone through 3 mothers thanks to the govt deciding you're too savage to be raised by your own people, you absolutely are not obligated to consider your abuser as your mother simply because she filled out the forms.
This is the most unwise Millennial age advice I've ever heard - total BS. You should never end all contact with family, just put them at a distance for a while. Your family never ceases to be your family. The reason I say that this is dumb is because the folks giving this bad advice haven't seen the cases where family members had lost touch for decades and were reunited on television programs back in the 80s and 90s. This is a terrible way to live your life - thinking that you are somehow better than your family members. It is almost as dumb as treating your parents as "birthing people". Please take if from me - a man who never met my father in person before he passed away, grew up with my mother elsewhere, only met one of my uncles, never met the other, met my real grandmother once, and both of my grandparents and my father are now dead. Why in the hell would you want to be that miserable? If someone is toxic or controlling, you can manage to keep a relationship with them and not allow them to affect you - it is called being an adult.
There is no such thing as a checklist to end all contact from parents or close relatives. That is pretty ridiculous to suggest. It is a personal decision to end a relationship if you think there is no other choice. No matter how bad they are, you will have to face fact that later in life, you will fell great remorse and regret from alienating them, so you have to weight that in. In some instances makes sense to spend less time with them. Cutting someone entirely is very extreme
I was there. Save up your money and move out. Find a friend or other relative you can live with. I did it by moving 1300 miles away for college and it made me more independent and happy. God bless you! 🙏🏻🙏🏻☮️✝️👍🏻
You’ve gotta determine if it’s “normal people” difficulties, or if it’s “deeply troubled, cruel, & perpetually åbüs|vę & *not* gonna change” stuff. You might need to become an ‘emancipated minor’ and move away asap. But, young people out on their own too early can encounter new and different troubles, so…
If you are an adult, in age, then you could move to another city or town and have a new private telephone number, you could give your parents a fake new address, and fake new telephone number, i hope that helps!? ha otherwise it would be best to get a restraining order!
If anyone needs to hear this video, it’s Aphmau from the Minecraft SMP series on TH-cam. Aphmau is always a kind and loyal friend to her friends, and she loves all her friends and would do anything in the world for them, and always puts their needs ahead of her own. However, Aphmau’s friends like Noi, KC, Zane, Ein, Pierce and Kim, they always blame her without hearing her side of the story, they turn against her without giving her a chance to explain her side, they bully her, betray her, they become mean to her whenever they feel like it, they invalidate her feelings, they turn against her instead of being there for her when she needs them the most, they insult her, berate her, judge her and gang up against her. They only see the worst in her and they treat her like a monster. But Aphmau doesn’t take care of herself or prioritize her happiness and mental health because she is passive and doesn’t stand up for herself and refuses to cut ties with her toxic friends and gives them chance after chance but they keep doing things to harm her and she constantly allows her friends to treat her bad and lets them get away with everything
Every one of these hit on my only sister. Sadly, I was left with no choice but to go no contact. I finally feel free after decades of dealing with her. Yes, it broke my heart because she's the only family I had left and I love her. But I had to do it for my mental, emotional and physical health and well-being..
I did this too but there was *NO* love lost. I was fed up with her foul mouth and upsetting me. I could feel myself physically about to explode with every call so I just ended it. I blocked her so she could not call me. I had a heart attack eventually from being too stressed out with too many things bothering me, but I Felt it was important to put a stop to an annoyance family or no family (only by birth!!!)
@@andrewcordle2424 I'm glad you broke free for good and are taking care of your health!
I have the exact same situation
11: Constantly ordering you around and telling you what to do.
12: The person always makes negative assumptions.
Very true relationships may not be perfect but it doesn’t justify for them to be sources of sorrow and stress even if it’s familial
Relationships should be pleasant for a reason, not the cause of even more stress.
@@FilipRanogajec hats off man very true
@@spandansahs8816, yeah. Cheers.
@@FilipRanogajec Exactly!, no one deserves to put up with a lot of abuse like i have put up with! more abuse than anyone knows! ha
@@deannavezina1941, I'm sorry to hear that. Hope you're better.
i gotta say that cutting someone off because you would continously feel drained after interacting with them is quite sad especially if the person that you end contact with is someone who is just awkward, shy, and just doesn't have good socializing skills.
As a mom of adult children who has been alienated because of their dad--
PLEASE try to have open communication BEFORE you discard someone.
It hurts more than the loss from death when people you love with all your heart will not even hear your side of a situation.
😢 💔
That is very saddening
Or even when they do grant you audience to hear your side, they still nevertheless instead chose to beIeve the other person, even when that side is a complete lie. I notice later those two friends will have a terrible falling out, but pride keeps them from admitting you were right.
❤
I agree when it’s your children but for everybody else if they make you feel bad best to cut ties
What if your kids disowned you because of their dad, do you insist having a communication with them?
Called lone Wolf club
I often travel in packs of one.
A-lone wolf cub in the lone wolf club😅
@@edr3158 Would you consider yourself a Pacman😂
It's so true that unhealthy and or toxic relationships are not good for our emotional and mental health! i always say it's better to have contact with people and even your own family in your life who make you happy than those who don't make you happy, because you see, we cannot change anyone! even God cannot change people unless they want him to!, because he gave everyone a free will, and does not force his will on anyone!, i know of some people who have gotten more sicker, because they didn't have a good life, or relationship, it is sad, but it's better to be well alone, than be with someone and be sick!.
Much needed advice. Thank you.
My brother was/is physically abusive. I never meant anything to him except his private punching bag. After dad died, I parted ways with my brother. 7.5 years later he made a strong effort to reconnect. He said he wouldn't ever strike blows again. I didn't believe him but he persisted and I thought maybe he had learned that I am a human who doesn't wish to be punched whenever he wants to. So, RELUCTANTLY I agreed to be brothers once more but gave him stern warning about the abuse -that the abuse would end the relationship. Two years later he got mad about a stalled snow machine I was driving and said "hit me, just HIT ME!". Twice in the last 24 years he had tried to reconcile but I know what he will do again and again....... Certain mutual friends have relayed that he feels much remorse. I do not believe he is even capable of changing after he has had several chances and always failed. I would rather have no contact with him at all than be his personal punching bag. He just cannot keep his fists to himself. I am tired of the abuse.
I don't blame you, because there is no excuse for ''Abuse" if you forgive your brother, it doesn't mean that he have to be in your life!, forgive him for you, you would not do it for him!, and of course forgiving a person doesn't mean it's okay what he or she did! that is your choice to forgive him or not. your brother has proven to you that he is an abuser, and unless he gets help, he will abuse someone else!
I had to cut off ties with my own daughter ( yes, I know))... because the disrespect, utter cruel manipulation treatment, and worst thing, was she never says sorry... EVER... Im a 44 year old man, and it hurts like he'll guys.... but yes, she is 21, and it's been the same all her life... the cup has just overflowed with disrespect and a lack of remorse... People like that leave you feeling it is your fault, and I just can't beat a dead horse anymore... for anyone making a tough decision on letting family go until they see the error of their ways... I wish you the best cos you will need it as it's a feeling of being left holding the bag
It's your choice to forgive her or not, if you forgive her, then you will be doing it for you, not for her! there are bad parents and bad children too, not saying you are bad, but there are bad parents, my parents were bad people!, i had a toxic relationship with them, because they had no respect for me! they always tried to change me, and always wanted to control my life, treated me like a child!, and wanted me to please them all the time! they were just sick and sad! my mother was always criticizing me, and never wanted changes for the better! and my parents were mentally ill! they both passed away in 2008, my mother was 68 and my father was 70. and good riddance!!! i'm so glad i don't have to put up with their emotional abuse! and deal with them anymore! i don't know your daughter, but seems to me she didn't have any respect for you! and just wanted you to please her all the time! and yes, for many people, it is best to cut off ties with family members who are difficult and abusive, and not seem to want to change!
Wait until she's a bit older. I understand if a friend acts this way to get rid of htem, but a family member is different.
She might be going through something pretty bad. I know when I was around 16, I would lash out at my mum a lot and it wasn't about her, it was about bullying I was getting at school. She didn't understand my suffering though.
I am 34 now and I did apologise to her for the way I acted. So maybe take a break from your daughter and see what happens. She might grow up.
Very True 👍
It's a horrible experience, and I've had many like them, and I doubt I've seen the end of it.
Excellent advice 👌
Amazing video! I, already get out of this kind of relationships! And I feel better than ever!
On my way out. Had enough abuse
For me, Filipino culture values reflection on one's roots to reach one's destination, as reflected in the saying, 'A person who does not look back at where he came from will not reach his destination.' My mother was one to remind me of this saying.
Family and friends have up and down, misunderstanding. Relationships is not perfect.
@@charlitavisado4103 relationships are not perfect true but that doesn’t mean they should be a source of sorrow and stress. People should try making them stable and comforting
I don't believe it. If you keep looking back at the hurtful past, you can never move forward, you're stuck.
I had to cut off a girlfriend. She only calls me when she needs something usually money related. The last straw was her, asking me to watch her house for a week. While she visits family in Europe. I was like ok? But then she says it will be like staying at an Air bnb, and i get the boyfriend rate of $350 per week. 😅 I'm like, no....😅
Lucky escape bro
Crazy...... 😮
I can't believe how bad people can be.... Like no limits.... ..😣
So I need to separate myself from every other person on the planet?
Got it!
It's worth it if this is who you are surrounded by. Better to be alone at peace than with people who suck the life out of you without a second thought.
@stevensmith6376
Who ever said I had peace?!
Even by myself, it's not peaceful.
@@aisforapple2494 I feel you. I feel like if I followed all these tips I'd have no one, except for family. My famil are great, it's the non-family I have trouble with. Mostly one sided communication and me putting in all the work. And I stopped doing this for 3+ months now and none of those people have reached out.
This is exactly what I was going to I was always making an effort and all my efforts went unnoticed so I went no contact to everyone
This pretty much rules out all of my childhood classmates.
Words of wisdom make sure they pay the ultimate price for being wronged no matter what or you will never be able to live with yourself if you let em off the hook
I agree about this however, never cut off your family. This video is Toxic. This is why people dont have friends anymore, just online friendships they can walk away from. Instead of communicating and working things out we just cut them off?
The feeling you are having means something ....trust your gut and move on 😒
this is why i no longer consider my former mother as anything but my landlord, and only because I'm too disabled to move. she's still got my life in her hands, but I cannot ever trust her ever again so i'm very stuck and hoping I die soon just to escape her for good. also, when you're an indigenous genocide victim who's gone through 3 mothers thanks to the govt deciding you're too savage to be raised by your own people, you absolutely are not obligated to consider your abuser as your mother simply because she filled out the forms.
i pray for you man
Thanks for this. I concur ❤❤❤
This is the most unwise Millennial age advice I've ever heard - total BS. You should never end all contact with family, just put them at a distance for a while. Your family never ceases to be your family. The reason I say that this is dumb is because the folks giving this bad advice haven't seen the cases where family members had lost touch for decades and were reunited on television programs back in the 80s and 90s. This is a terrible way to live your life - thinking that you are somehow better than your family members. It is almost as dumb as treating your parents as "birthing people". Please take if from me - a man who never met my father in person before he passed away, grew up with my mother elsewhere, only met one of my uncles, never met the other, met my real grandmother once, and both of my grandparents and my father are now dead. Why in the hell would you want to be that miserable? If someone is toxic or controlling, you can manage to keep a relationship with them and not allow them to affect you - it is called being an adult.
There is no such thing as a checklist to end all contact from parents or close relatives. That is pretty ridiculous to suggest. It is a personal decision to end a relationship if you think there is no other choice. No matter how bad they are, you will have to face fact that later in life, you will fell great remorse and regret from alienating them, so you have to weight that in.
In some instances makes sense to spend less time with them. Cutting someone entirely is very extreme
What if they are the ones who have alienated you, do you still have remorse?
What if the family is parents ... and there s no way out to leave the house and stay away from them
I was there. Save up your money and move out. Find a friend or other relative you can live with. I did it by moving 1300 miles away for college and it made me more independent and happy. God bless you! 🙏🏻🙏🏻☮️✝️👍🏻
Be independent, and buy your own house.
You’ve gotta determine if it’s “normal people” difficulties, or if it’s “deeply troubled, cruel, & perpetually åbüs|vę & *not* gonna change” stuff. You might need to become an ‘emancipated minor’ and move away asap. But, young people out on their own too early can encounter new and different troubles, so…
If you are an adult, in age, then you could move to another city or town and have a new private telephone number, you could give your parents a fake new address, and fake new telephone number, i hope that helps!? ha otherwise it would be best to get a restraining order!
If anyone needs to hear this video, it’s Aphmau from the Minecraft SMP series on TH-cam. Aphmau is always a kind and loyal friend to her friends, and she loves all her friends and would do anything in the world for them, and always puts their needs ahead of her own. However, Aphmau’s friends like Noi, KC, Zane, Ein, Pierce and Kim, they always blame her without hearing her side of the story, they turn against her without giving her a chance to explain her side, they bully her, betray her, they become mean to her whenever they feel like it, they invalidate her feelings, they turn against her instead of being there for her when she needs them the most, they insult her, berate her, judge her and gang up against her. They only see the worst in her and they treat her like a monster. But Aphmau doesn’t take care of herself or prioritize her happiness and mental health because she is passive and doesn’t stand up for herself and refuses to cut ties with her toxic friends and gives them chance after chance but they keep doing things to harm her and she constantly allows her friends to treat her bad and lets them get away with everything
That would be my ex gf. She was pretty, I was chasing her
1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Well, looks like I need to find or start another family
Good luck!
What's the name of the song in the background?
Sounds like my arrogant and ignorant religious conservative sister who always belittles me for not being as rich as she is.
✅✅✅✅
😢😢
Uhuuu brazukasss
Cancel culture.
MGTOW 👋🏻
1st) 😢❤😢
I'm glad 3/4 of the planet is vaxxed. 😂 That will ELIMINATE most of this incommunicado problem soon!
I hope you're right!
Very good information ❤❤❤. But it should be telling through a lady voice. A Lady voice can attract more people
1st) 😢❤😢
First what? First lame?
@@carmenmariarosariosanchez6765 first time you mean right?