@@PhlegmBoHiggins Odd, So your saying your ok with someone doing bad things to you knowing it's bad and knowing it will hurt you instead of someone that does the same thing not thinking that it would hurt you. I'm going to take that as someone not responding appropriately and bow out of this conversation.
“Imagine you want something. Now imagine how you would get that thing if your brain could not feel guilt or empathy”. That explanation did it for me, thanks
Yes, you are correct! I worked for one for 17 years. I feel so sorry for his wife! He had an explosion toward his wife at work one day & it was heartbreaking to see the effect of it on her and to realize that she has to go home to that every day after working for him in the office. I think he could easily turn a woman into a Lorena Bobbit! 😬😳😱
@@karynbanksley7110 Wow you are evil, aren't you. Instead of doing the right thing and ending the relationship. You rather there be violence. You are sick in the head.
I can be very warm, in a social setting, and in a good mood trusting that others have an understanding of boundaries. However, they don’t, if they are the sociopath. My friendliness and trusting nature could be taken wrong on their part. Then they may think I am like Jekyll & Hyde. So the problem is in the dynamics, timing, and setting; and a matter of interpretation.
As a middle aged man that was very recently diagnosed with ASPD, I can confirm most of these things. I tend to scare people without trying. And once I grew up a bit, I began to notice the instincts I have and my compulsion to manipulate and dominate were not getting me anywhere. I therefore realized that I needed to re-learn my pattern of thought in order to stop hurting myself and others in my life. I've been attending trauma therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy. It's been a lot of work. I hope I can be a force to build and leave a positive impact someday, instead of rotating through jails and institutions and lovers for no good reason.
You can do anything you set your mind to do. I believe good always wins over evil. Maybe becoming spiritual/God loving and fearing may help? I wish you all the best!
People with antisocial personality disorders regularly use therapy as a lie and do nothing to change. You're correct though. If you don't change, you will repeat the same cycle over and over again. There's no long-term benefit to manipulation. Only more enemies and people that leave you behind. It's a survival technique and will do the job, but that's about it.
Keep in mind that while the prevalence may be around 1 in 30 population wide. The occurrence in a given group will vary widely. A room full of politicians may have a prevalence of 1 in 2. Seven foot tall humans is a good example. They are a rare sight but not at an NBA game. The 'paths will self select as well as drift towards certain occupations and social circles.
Yesss, but. Territorial, highly mobile socially, and on average imbalanced in the stability of their lives. You very likely will meet them more often than you'd like to.
I worked with a sociopath once and it is an experience I would never like to repeat. You don't realize what's going on until it's too late. I would recommend this: if you find yourself telling someone a lot about your life and feel almost a compulsion to divulge your secrets, stop immediately and step away from the relationship. The other person is mining you for information about yourself that he or she can use against you. Never assume that another person's intentions toward you are benevolent. A lot of times your worst enemy can present themselves like they're your best friend, or at least someone you can trust. Always be on your guard against manipulation.
@@rpgtips3802 probably did (if your comment was directed to me). I have been too trusting too quickly in the past. And I’m a naturally generous person so I guess I give off those signals. But I’m finally learning TG..
Only learning the hard way after the fact but looking forward to never falling for it again, thank you fir your comment it's exactly part of my story 🖐
Yes you have a point there! I agree, it is true. But still it is not adviced to relate with them even if they are good. You should better keep your distance. If one of them is in your family or relative environment and you cant avoid them at least keep an eye on them and be carefull. Avoid trusting them.
I went through it. Thought dude was my best friend. Loved him. He didnt even show any signs until we became roommates. He flipped overnight. Started trying to make me think i was crazy and almost create like a submissive relationship. Little did he know i wasn't the one. Moved out in a week
The thing that confuses and concerns me, is every time I watch a list of sociopathic traits, I see several that describe me, except I still feel empathy - sometimes too much.
same. i have all these but my empathy is so strong it can be debilitating at times. so idk i guess we fall into an extreme because of our intense experience with the spectrum emotions and absorbing others' energies. one thing alot of these aspd people have in common (and with us ) is their mastery of energy manipulation albeit with a lack of truly experiencing another;s emotions. i think whne you have an extreme relationship with emotions/empathy like being hyper empathic or not having it all, you become very familiar with energy and transmutation
You don't need to be a full blown sociopath to exhibit a lot of these behaviors. Especially when it comes to taking advantage of people and being manipulative in certain situations - this behavior isn't uncommon in our society but being a sociopath is a rare disorder.
My sister has the stare. Sometimes only the whites of her eyes show. She does this to people and family she'd like to be or be in. She's very empathic to a fault. But is manipulative. I call her out when she's in public doing that to someone so she'll stop. It's very embarrassing. She has a fascination with death and dead things. It grosses me out. She's a healthcare worker for the elderly. She likes to be in the face of someone dying and that is the freakiest thing. Sometimes I think her empathy is a cover up but now it's become a part of who she is just like the fascination with death. At times she's on the road looking at dead deer. I ask her what she's doing she said .. trying to find out why it died. Excuse me ..it was hit by a car..you can't see the internal damage. I think her care there.... is a cover up for looking at it. At times she can be very mean also. I know a lot of these people. They have fooled most people. When growing up my sister and I got it shoved into our heads to stop worrying about someone else and only worry about yourself. Isn't that a good thing to teach children. I'd like to blood type these people and I bet 1 group would be way bigger than others.
@@screamsella v interesting. do u find though that your manipulation is done to genuinely make people feel better for their own well-being or is it for your own agenda?
Yeah, I know! Just because it's antisocial personality disorder, they think Aspd is the same as antisocial, as in socially awkward. And also, they think that a quiet person is a serial killer (generalization, but okay).
Yep I already got called psychopath from my whole life only because I don't have friends I don't cry often when someone dies also I like to watch snuff gore movies true crime and also I find some kindo of thrill when I see blood lol
Kind of irrelevant to the video, but Gregory House is not a sociopath. If you guys actually watch the show, you'll see that he cares a lot when nobody is watching. He simply has an avoidant type of attachment.
He cares about nothing but the truth. He may seem like a d*ck, but he knows what people are like, their weaknesses and what lengths they are willing to go to (by lying) to achieve something.
Well said. I was about to type this. Also, I don't remember what is the exact symptom or illness, but I read that due to his leg injury House became incredibly susceptible to pain, whether it be physical or emotional. So besides feeling pain due to the leg, if House is injured, troubled, or has a headache, whatever he feels it'll be 10 times worse compared to the average person, which is why he avoids emotional attachments as best as he can. House grabs his leg whenever he is suffering emotionally. A good example is in Season 6, when he tells Wilson that if he where to die, he'd be forever alone. Greg sits down and clenches his leg. There's a plethora of other examples like this in the show. People think it's just the physical pain that torments House, but it's not entirely true.
The greatest red flag I recommend people develop a heightened awareness of is charisma. Not just a feeling of 'wow, that's a pretty cool guy', but when you're gut informs you that you've met very few people in your life so far with THAT type of impact. In my personal experience, I find sociopathy often goes hand in hand with charisma. It's why I'm extremely wary of celebrity fake Gods, all cultural architects and our sick culture in general which seems to worship anybody working in the entertainment industry (including the media); because these charismatic people are often so dark, man. What a sickness that we set up children to soak it all up.
There’s someone I’ve suspected of being a sociopath. They’re so charismatic, can never do any wrong. When I was pregnant, they would get angry and throw things at the wall beside me but then acted like I was over reacting because “I intentionally missed you, why are you upset?” That was a frequent question; why are you upset? They seemed to legitimately not understand. Glassy eyed stare was a norm.
@@glynnisthomas9165 As he was the father of the baby, that’s a lot easier said than done. Like I said above, sometimes you just have to learn how to deal with someone who scares you. He doesn’t scare me anymore, I hardly see him now that he’s moved.
1) lack of empathy 2) urge to manipulate 3) feels good to be around them (they become what you want) too good to be true 4) the stare (doesn’t look away or blink) 5) lies without remorse and have can’t show natural emotions. Inappropriate emotions for the situation
Urge to manipulate, feels good to be around them, the stare, doesn’t show emotion, “inappropriate” reactions to situations. _On the surface,_ it’s the basic description of a scorpio, lol
to be fair, " Inappropriate emotions for the situation" sounds like group think or peer pressure to me. A man told me today how he was shocked by how unaffected his sister was at someone's death and the someone turned out to be a famous ballplayer neither of them had ever met. Some people are too emotional and it is silly to fake emotions.
One fact the "experts" consistently get wrong is the lack of empathy. Sociopaths can compartmentalize who the do and don't feel empathy for. It does however take quite a bit to enter the worthy of empathy category but they can feel and apply empathy. They also consciously recognize that there are those they feel it for and those (the majority) who they don't. They also feel they're smarter than most others...and they usually are.
You are right, Blanquito. But their selections are directly based on their interests. Normal people have the feeling of empathy regardless of the response they can get from others. Sociopaths are always calculating results. Actually, their sense of empathy are always self-centered.
I feel empathy for A VERY select few. There the only safe ones. Everyone one else. Is extremely venerable to my trap. Usually easily set if you trigger it.
Some sociopath "tells" I've noticed are: (1) Switching emotional presentation with zero transition time, i.e. going from bawling meltdown to calm conversation; they're simply trying out what works on you, not actually expressing anything. (2) Yes, sociopaths will stare/maintain eye contact for too long, but also watch WHERE their eyes are looking, and remember WHY: they are busy trying to extract every clue from your face and body language as to how best to manipulate you; "Is what I'm doing working? How should I adjust?". (3) Presenting as having "seen a lot of life"- yet also prone to asking questions about human behavior that might be appropriate for a young child or alien visitor, but not an empathetic and normally socialized adult.
- Cognitive empathy is a thing that sociopaths and psychopaths can and do feel and often intentionally cultivate. For some, it may be because they look at nature and realize humans are pack animals and community health is this important. Others believe strongly in individual autonomy, and thus will decide not to hurt others out of some cosmic respect. Still others simply decide to live by a moral code because they observe that this is the best way to stay out of prison, make AND keep money, and maintain a social circle of people willing to help you. - For many sociopaths and/or psychopaths, it’s less than they have urges to manipulate, and more that they’re lacking the barriers to manipulative behavior that most people have, and thus don’t see the logical point in NOT lying if it helps the situation.
Thus we understand why implementing the strategies from The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene, are effective as it requires pushing past the barriers that others won't, and why certain types of people are more successful than others in certain areas\ fields.
When you say "They can and do feel empathy" do you mean that all of them do just less frequently and/or less strongly, or do they need to come to a realisation about the world or form a belief/moral compass about the world in order to to feel empathy normally
Yup, I was raised and abused by a sociopathic mother who had high narcissistic like qualities. The caveat was that she surprisingly impressed everyone outside the family, and was admired in our community. Her only goal was to manipulate and control, and put herself above everyone else. She could not care that she physically and mentally abused us, it was all about her feelings which mattered most. It’s difficult being around her, because while the abuse has ended now that I’m an adult and moved out long ago, I still pick up on these qualities and remember my own trauma. Therefore, it’s almost impossible for me to enter a relationship and connect with another woman. Even tho I’m 27, I’m still processing everything that was passed on to me.
Mines was quite like this too, she always wanted people to think highly of her and always said “what goes on in this house stays in this house”, I was called manipulative , psychopath, sociopath and honestly sometimes I felt like she was just projecting. It always questioned myself and whether or not I was or not. A conversation with her would always end up with her yelling. I wasn’t perfect as a teenager, but I did end up running away
Processing trauma isn't a race, and it takes serious guts to address issues caused by a narcissistic/sociopathic parent (I know from experience). I would highly recommend looking into therapy if you are able, and if not there are many self-help guides online that can provide help. I know people who set their minds and pasts at rest in their mid-thirties/forties, and I have so much respect for them. Your afterlife from trauma doesn't have to revolve around her too
Two of my brothers have zero empathy for what others go through. Good luck to anyone who have these jerks in their family. I have nothing to do with them.
Remember that these are all "could be" signs. Just because people show certain "signs" doesn't mean they ARE a sociopath. Remember, do not do ANYTHING that you are not comfortable with, no matter who is asking. Do not give anything that you are not willing to lose. It is always ok to say "no."
Sociopath type people get extremely angry whe you have and impliment firm boundaries because it disables them....and THEN the manipulation begins! My oldest sister is showing signs mentioned in this video, firstly what I have just mentioned about boundaries and also she has no care and empathy but will verbally exclaim how she loves and cares for me and our family, but will deliberately hurt and manipulate if you let her. Her actions are void of care and empathy. My mother had two nervous break downs over the years because of the subtle manipulation we all couldnt understand. My mom found and organisation called TOUGH LOVE in Soth Africa, which helped us and me, learn how to disable the behaviour. This organisation was a God Send. When I impliment boundaries now, she will tell me she is afraid of me, (trying to turn the table - so that she will be perceived as the victim) Thank you for this video. Now I know, after reading all the comments, that I am not immagining things. All the gas lighting can make me doubt myself. I suspect the Socoipath can spot and empath from a f***en mile away.
What if someone isn’t nice to you? Do you think they’re hating you? People on the autism spectrum have problems reading others and they’re usually blamed for being “not nice”
@@happyemoji6553 I feel more uncomfortable with someone being too nice than someone being rude with me, someone being rude for no reason often feels more authentic than someone being overly nice, I would think they're just having a bad day or maybe that's how they normally behave
It could definitely be a red flag. I'd say watch out for people who seem "Too good to be true" if they seemingly are so charismatic, go out of their way to be incredibly kind and start love-bombing you that is definitely a field of red flags. But I get what you saying.
you couldn't be more wrong to be very very honest, i wil never give up being nice, to change myself cuz others do have a sick thinking mind, i might be bad cuz i might be 'too' nice...yea ..na just no.
Learn to say: No! Be brutal about cutting these people from your life. They will make you feel like YOU'RE in the wrong. It's ok, just walk away. Forever.
I just did, i found out a friend i had is a sociopath and i told him straight away, that he is one, and he almost made me believe he is not and i fell again for it. 😅 but no more lol.
Exactly what i did 4 older siblings are frantic now that I'm not around to fix all their breaks and council them. I tried for 35 yrs what a waist of my sanity.😆💪🎸
I always hated people who never broke eye contact. Creeped me out no matter how friendly they were. Now I know those freaks are actually sociopaths. As an introvert, the fact that I sometimes avoid eye contact helped me to not be friends with them. Haha!
@@lorenzosyquia4769 it's kinda hard to talk about. This person would fake seizures and make threats of hurting himself if he didn't get his way, emotionally and financially manipulative, tried to ruin what was left of my relationships, was very controlling, gaslighted me, etc. On top of being in a really toxic relationship at the time and having a miscarriage, I tried killing myself. Luckily I survived, escaped, and my life has been a 180 since then.
@@electricsoup7481 I'm glad you survived it! You must have lived through hell. Was he jealous of your relationship? What made this person so appealing anyway?
Had a friend who was a Sociopath. Watching your video confirmed what I had suspected. He was manipulative and lied constantly while remaining charming. He also lacked empathy. One day he cheated me and I called him out on his lie. His denial was so extreme, angry and over the top that I knew something was wrong with him and had to end our friendship. Live and learn.
@@gianthills YES This is the exact danger of such videos. You are correct. Despite some of the accurate information it depicts, it is not productive to put it our there with a close examination about how many, many behaviors can also just be poor choices or bad behavior we all are prone to at times in are lives.
@Jammy Climba Now this is one behavior all psychopaths and sociopaths engage in; they absolutely refuse to be accountable for their part in a problem. They consider it a personal affront to think they might bear some responsibility for a relationship problem. While they do not care about or even empathize with your pain and struggle, they care way too much about their own pain and struggle. For example, they may insist you see a psychiatrist to fix yourself to fix the relationship problems. However, when the psychologists suggest that they need the counseling as well because they are part of the problem and may need to change some of their own perceptions, attitudes, and behaviors to cure and save the relationship they will refuse and be angry and offended because they aren't the one who has a weakness or illness. They don't need to be fixed. You do! And they obstinately coldly maintain that posture no matter how much it hurts their spouse. A true sociopath who is a danger to others presents with all 6 behaviors consistently.
Interesting, i knew a guy in school who was a diagnosed sociopath but also had aspergers (i also have aspergers) he gave the best advice and actually was aware of his lack of empathy and he would actually tell people who knew him to be aware of his lack of empathy. Infact i still follow some of his advice in dealing with things like rejection, guilt, grief and anger. One of his lines i still use is "there is a thin line between a thick line and no line at all" for him this was to remind himself that some of the things he does will cross the line. But for me i apply it to almost anything. He was one of the only sociopaths ive met who actually used his manipulation skills to help people so they didnt go through what he did. He used to say that his awareness of his issues gave him the ability to understand why people felt the way they do even if he doesn't essentially get the feelings himself
I had a Brother as Sociopath But We got in Fist fight in 2019 were I came in Top. After that I started to stay away from him he is envy and jealous of me.
This video describes my brother-in-law 100%. What a trail of destruction he has created in our family. If you observe sociopaths long enough, you'll start to observe strange behavior patterns, almost as if they're icy cold robots with no choice but to follow a certain programming. At heart, everything they do is centered around CONTROL.
Do they resemble narcissists? Specifically, people with NPD? I’m still demystifying a relationship that ended years and years ago with someone I suspected to have NPD. Until I saw this video and your comment. Your BIL shares familiar traits with my ex-relationship. Cold, just cold, and no emotions or empathy, except for a very explosive and reactive anger. And always needing and wanting to exert control over everyone and everything. The anger shows up when someone does something outside their rigid script of accepted behaviours. The person comes off as controlling, cold, and manipulative. Hmmm, maybe my own assumption about NPD was indeed wrong.
@@dylandonaghue6750 Sociopathy is a more extreme, more dangerous form of narcissism. Narcissism is basically, “The world revolves around me. Aren’t I wonderful? Give me attention! Worship me!” Narcissism is therefore essentially very childish and immature. But sociopathy takes self-centeredness much much further, and adds a twist: “Because the world revolves around me AND because I have no compassion for other people, AND because I have absolutely no sense of remorse, I will use and control you.’’ In short, I find narcissists merely annoying and exasperating whereas I find sociopaths destructive and potentially quite dangerous. I should add I am a layman. These are personal observations and reflections based on bitter experience.
@@todesque Btw, you are right that sociopathy is more dangerous to society in general. On fact, the narcisisst tends to be abusive to loved ones, but not society at large. As I said, they base their image on society's perception of them as a great person, so they cannot afford to have their adoring public hate them. That's often why when there are marital breakups or accusations of abuse, those outside the relationship are usually in disbelief that the narcisssist is the one who did anything wrong. That also illustrates the particular way in which they're manipulative.
@@todesque Yeah and IMO this video does not describe sociopathy, it describes psychopathy. Sociopaths can't function properly in society, they can't fake a normal life like psychopaths do, they're very easy to recognize because they can't control their reactions like psycopaths do. A sociopath will lose his cool over simple things, they usually have anger issues, problems with the law, problems with rules..all these first impressions, sociopath stare, this is all BS, sociopaths can't fake those things, you'll notice a sociopath as soon as you see one because they're NOT organized, they're loud, they're reckless and they look dangerous right off the bat.
My former boss was definitely a sociopath. At first he seemed great and was going around asking about everyone and what the needed. What ended up happening is none of the needs or concerns were met but he remember everything and used it against people to get what he wanted.
@@straykittsco.950 sociopath is under the umbrella of nassisitic anti social disorder. Of course he seemed like one, I only gave you a tiny snippet of his behaviors. I didn't feel the need to mention he exhibited every behavior on this list, seemed redundant.
Or they are dating a woman on the spectrum that still gets childishly overemotional about everything....especially if she is a narcissistic sociopath. Holding grudges, easily offended, screaming and yelling, overly needy. He must bend over backward to make her happy and make sure she is constantly his focus of attention. And men can be the same. They are exhausting and finally breaking away is peace and freedom
thank you for this video. I have a neighbor who is a siciopath and tried to lure me into a shipping container to " help" him move some item. I told him " ABSOLUTLEY NOT". He then got very angry and swore and cursed at me. Later on he kept insisting to come over to my home and kept asking if i needed help/ I knew he has ill intent and finally had to text him to never call me again or i would report him to the police. I am gratful for these videos to help reconfirm my intuition and gut feelings .
This is the opening plot to silence of the lambs. Ted Bundy also lured people to helping him by pretending he had a broken arm or whatever. Some years ago, when I was a homeless, a guy we all knew at a shelter had a ryder truck and said one or two of us were welcome to sleep in the back. We noped out of that guy's life. There was a rumor that he was caught downloading some unmentionable porn on his laptop. This was like 15 years ago, I've forgotten some details.
A sociopath might tell you a story about something they did, but say it was someone else just to see your reaction. They get to know you inside and out to better manipulate you. I was with one for 10 years.
My ex used to do this! He told me about his friend who cheated on his girlfriend and was asking if he should still be friends with him and whether I think he still has a chance with his girlfriend. Little did I know he was cheating on me 😅
Hello can you tell me this girl I go on a date with is sociopath. She lie to people that know me that she step on my toe and want my contact to apologize but in reality I never met her before. She lie about someone randomly took a picture of her and told me to make me protect her. When the date was over and I told her I dont want to continue. she flip a switch on me and act very emotionally even a death threat. after that she lie to her my and my friend that I wouldn't let her get her stuff in my room but she never been in my room before. I block her on all social now
My last employer was like this. Asking questions to gain "insider info", also telling story after story after _story_ about how wonderful he is and all his "good deeds" which made me feel pressured to say what a "nice guy" he was but THEN he'd brush off my compliments and say "I didn't tell you that to get a pay on my back 🤪" Yeah. *RIGHT.* That guy talked more about himself than anyone I've ever met! 😂😂😂😂😂 and he also would carelessly insult his 3 daughters and his wife! His sweet wife's mother was really sick and he actually said to me that he thought she'd "kick the bucket" any day now. 😳🤯🤯🤯 So glad to be out of that position. These types are exhausting. He saw me and my people pleasing and codependency issues coming a mile away. 🤦🏻♀️
Your gut feeling will still be initially repelled by a lot of these types of people. You’ll be a little weirded out by them or notice something slightly off about them on first impression. It isn’t until they begin charming you with their words that you start to relax around them. You’ll then trust them even though your initial gut reaction was that this person is a little creepy. That’s been my experience, anyway!
@@MAYBEE90 that reminds me exactly of season 2 of You. Delilah gets a creepy vibe from Joe and she's 100% correct but then she ends up trusting him anyway
I have fewer than 1 friend in the World. That's right. Everybody disses me for making bad videos. I think they are perfect though. Who is right? My dissers or me? Which side are you on, dear ice
All of these signs are also signs of addiction. I know about 4 people who were diagnosed as a sociopath but really weren’t. They struggled with addiction which caused them to manipulate their way to get what they want, lie to preserve themselves(and usually become good at lying), and lack of empathy because you don’t care about anything nearly as much as you want to escape through drugs and alcohol.
On personality disorders (PD) and addiction: "The overall prevalence of PD ranges from 10% to 14.8% in the normal population and from 34.8% to 73.0% in patients treated for addictions, with a median of 56.5%"
@@gokurocks9 Yep, seems like It is the way people with ASPD and addict both want things. And they do not give up getting those things. Then you get a similar behaviour so it almost have the same side effects of the diseases, let alone if you already have ASPD and get addicted. Makes it really hard to decide to stop and keep being sober for other people i have to say...
I have a brother-in-law who most people outside the family think that he is an absolutely wonderful man so kind and generous to them but let him get home with his family and it's a totally different story he is mean to them and his children do not like him at all and my sister won't leave him because she's afraid of him.
@@brendasimmons9045 yes! I can well believe this. I say this as someone who while not a sociopath has some tendencies in that direction and more so in the past, but who also has a lot of unstable empathy which I am struggling to improve. I have a lot of regrets over past behavior due to this, and It's something that runs in my family. It's important to realize that even full on sociopaths and narcissists have a lot of trouble with empathy, and may have little, but that doesn't mean they don't have any. They are on the extreme end of a spectrum, which has no clear sharp line. It's easy to label someone as something but the reality is more complex. Many people will have some strong sociopathic tendencies without being full sociopaths, often still having strong but variable empathy but frequently struggling plenty to show it or act accordingly.
@@brendasimmons9045 I noticed this in the workplace more than anywhere else. I am in high level management and everywhere I work there is one or two people causing problems for the entire company by scheming to gain power and influence, subtlety doing things to make other management look bad, and acting like the nicest boy next door who is the number one company team player in front of exec management, and then in private meetings yells and bullies and has their employees all scared to get fired. The crazy thing is that most people don’t notice and actually believe the nice guy routine and believe the act instead of the results of the actions of these people. I’ve seen it at every company I’ve worked for. I can imagine it’s the same in government.
Sociopaths come on a spectrum, not everyone is creepy, most are more "normal" than you'd think from watching films. They just have problems with certain human emotions or empathy.
They don't "just" have problems with certain human emotions. They have persistent patterns of violating the rights of others and committing crime. These are criterion you must meet for a diagnosis. You must have caused harm or committed a crime to receive a diagnosis of aspd.
@@e_i_e_i_bro That's not true. Those cases are just the most prevalent, because the average person doesn't need a psychiatric diagnoses for day to day living. Criminals may be forced to receive a diagnoses, while many people who have ASPD will never know or be discovered to have it by others.
@@Bancheis Those cases are prevalent because you need a history of crime or harm to receive a diagnosis. DSM5: "There is a *pervasive pattern* of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring since age 15 years. 1. failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest 2. deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure 3. impulsivity or failure to plan ahead 4. irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults 5. reckless disregard for safety of self or others 6. consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations 7. lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another. B. The individual is at least age 18 years. C. There is evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years. D. The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or a manic episode."
My foolproof plan is to treat everybody with suspicion, and to say "no" when someone outside of my inner circle needs a favor. It's OK to come off as cold or rude. It will save your life.
This is why I moved and told no one. 42 years is enough. Then I met my ex wife while healing from a hip surgery. She became abusive and I was always falling for these lies because she was all I had. I’m 2.5 years sociopath free and I am happier than I ever thought I could be.
I can understand why some ppl after traumatic experiences and a subsequent lack of empathy from others after the experience can make you numb to other ppl’s suffering as well.
Yeah, can confirm as someone with CPTSD, especially being raised by two narcissists. I'm 30 and only recently got to the point of being able to effectively empathize with those around me and use that empathy effectively to build them up. And it wasn't even because I didn't want to when I was younger; I was too numb to be bitter or stingy necessarily. I even TRIED all the time to be nice, to help others, to protect them. Though it was probably more an extension of my self-preservation, to make sure people wouldn't hurt me, than true care for them. Or perhaps a mix of the two? Rather, I had never been taught things like kindness (only manners and obedience), which is something you learn by receiving it when you're little. I was barely even aware of it as a concept, not accurately anyway, let alone what it looked like or how to put it into my actions. I was fumbling in the dark without knowing what light even is. So being "kind" never really worked how I wanted it to, and I was too awkward to be charming, so I ended up with even less socialization and affection than I needed, plus more abuse. It's taken me a very, very long time to first just drag myself out of that isolated, lonely pit and then to teach myself how to be a person and function in such a blindingly bright, alien-to-me world. While also cutting out all the awful ideas and tendencies my parents tried to cultivate in me. This channel has honestly helped such a tremendous amount in pointing out things that most find obvious, and how to do better. I am seriously grateful.
@@KooblyK I can only understand empathy when someone gives me direct words of condolences, then I can reciprocate back. If I don't know how someone's pain or struggle feels, I can't feel real empathy necessarily but realize that the person is distressed and needs condoling, then again, this could be normal, I've never analyzed this in depth.
These examples are also indicative of a person that has a long term drug and/or alcohol addiction. I had a lot of addictions and I noticed the longer I was addicted the less I cared about others or their misfortunes, it was all about me. I'm normally a very empathic person, to a fault actually, but I definitely think substance abuse can rid u of normal emotions.
Quite right. But how AWFUL you feel when you outgrow that addictiveness and look back on some the stuff you have done - your remorse and guilt certainly show you are NOT actually a sociopath.!!
very good point. i knew a girl like this, her mind and emotions were just wasted by drugs. there is kind of a difference way it presents but still, scary coldness.
Yup. That is because psychopaths are also motivated by one single obsession. Similar to addiction but way worse. If you want to imagine how manipulative a psychopath is, just imagine the worst drug addicted person times like 100. That is how dangerous they are. Everyone has a run in with a few during their lifetime, they say we all are connected through 4 people, meaning someone you know met someone you know met blah blah everyone on earth. So you will run into them. And you will know when you do because all of a sudden, no matter how strong of a person you are, you will find yourself feeling like you are 1 inch tall. Think back to a time when you felt like that, you will remember someone...
The one test I always pull with strangers is the no test. The thing is nothing makes certain groups of people play their hand faster than being told no, then immediately following it up with uninviting body language. The moment they know they can't wear you down, the mask starts slipping.
I've found that some tend to talk like they have too much empathy, when in fact they are very good manipulators. I'm wary of those that become ''quick friends'' as they usually want something from you. I had an ex-friend that did both of these things and 'love bombed' people and then contrived an argument to push them away or just turned cold when they were of no further use. After it happened to me, I became aware of her doing it to others.
One of the wisest thinks my mom ever told me was "beware of someone who says 'I love you' way to soon". The same applies to any kind of indearment or familiarity and those simple words have saved my butt by keeping me away from some toxic people.
I think people avoid me because I come across as "too nice" but it's people pleasing from CSA and I can't stop. It's not just overly smiling and being friendly it's coming on waaay too strong :/ I'm tryna tone it down in therapy tho haha
@@notthingofnote I was like that too but I'm cured now. My give a damn was sergically removed and now I'm free to be the A hole I've always wanted to be🤣👍
I used to be friends with someone that exhibited every one of these characteristics. He was definitely one of the ones with bad intentions and dealing with him was awful. And once they realize they don’t have you in their corner anymore that’s when things start getting really ugly
@Hueclouds Yes. Not so much overly angry but extremely malicious. For example he put me in a position where I could’ve possibly been responsible for someone’s death/suicide. And he would go and try to turn me against my friends by telling lies between us
It is a terrible thing to go through a toxic sociopathic friendship. I had a friend since first grade, and it took me 30 years to realize this. He caused so much damage, with bad advice and toxic comments. Back then there was very little information on this topic.
Same dude, I don't know if he's a sociopath, however he is a the most Grandiose "I'm always right" manipulative Narc I've ever met. If you don't always agree with him, or call him out in the slightest he'll do anything to make you look or sound wrong, shift blame, attack you verbally, no rules, whatever it takes. Super toxic dude... Adios buddio
I was greatly wounded by a person whom I later discovered was a narcissist. After watching this video, he may actually be a sociopath. There are overlaps between the two. Thanks for this info.
As someone who is basically the opposite I had to teach myself that it is actually important to be disingenuous and manipulate people in small ways just to guard yourself from people who would otherwise take advantage of your kindness and empathy. People are a weird.
Years ago an intelligent psychopath - a handsome charming young man and quite educated about art became friends with a whole crowd of art collectors, gallery owners, collectors and their rich friends in New Mexico. Over three years he got a reputation of taking art work around on consignment to show to clients. Also, was a fixture at parties, dated heavily, even friendly enough with some families to babysit their kids. One night he vanished into thin air with half a million in indian relics, art, money he was paid for sales etc. etc. Vanished. No one who knew him will ever get over it.
@@elizabethpiccolo5534 forty years ago - I have no idea. I was living Santa Fe and experienced the shock of those cheated, moved away and never found out.
I have encountered two sociopaths in my life time. They both had the stare, this menacing, intense, way too long, trying-to-intimidate-you stare, they told WILD stories about how badass and threatening they were (being chased by cop cars and a helicopter down the highway for fleeing a drug control scene, or having cut marks all over their bodies when being delivered into child psychiatric institutes, or enjoying scaring their mom's new boyfriend by standing beside their bed and rubbing a knife against their own cheeks repeatedly as they woke up, or levering someone's knee cap out of their socket with a knife), they thought they could take on anyone, they had no empathy, they had no clue for how inappropriately violent the things they told were, they had no morals, the others were always to blame (a sociopath always sees himself/herself as the victim and everything gruesome they do is therefore justified), one of them was superficially charming,they were both manipulative (always trying to win you over to their side), they tried to make you feel sorry for them, they would be indifferent to breaking your stuff and feel no remorse, they would offer you things you said you would like to have, they would exert control over you in a weird way (like ignoring you when you say you need to be going and you end up staying much longer than you want, accompanying you when you want to go alone, making you agree with them when you don't, and all on a weird subconscious level meaning it wasn't like they would actively block the door or anything, it subconsciously felt more like you couldn't match their aura and lost a fight in a way, and you stay there and you realize "*somehow* I cannot shake off from this person when I want to go and I end up staying, *somehow* they are in charge, but you can't put your finger on what it is that makes you stay), they want to provoke an emotional reaction out of you (often shock or admiration for how ruthless and bold they were in their story), their stories have plot holes if you listen REALLY REALLY carefully. Both of them were fascinated by me. Both of them wanted to be friends. The creepy thing is they actually do crave human interaction and love (in the form of admiration and obedience though), and they seemed to like me alot. Probably due to the fact that I can be pretty dull and emotionally numb too. I too have experienced trauma that made me almost completely lack empathy in my youth and I'm not like most other people. I'm not easily shocked or threatened or intimidated by these stories. But I'm also a person who isn't out to pick a fight and I really try to understand everyone. I was fascinated by them and wanted to really understand them on a deep level. And they probably liked that. The fact someone doesn't reject you for telling these stories is much likely a rare occurrence to them. And maybe they thought "here's someone who would finally actually *GET* me". I approached them differently than all the other people around me did. Unfortunately for them, (and very fortunately for me probably) they only briefly met and interacted with me over the time of a couple off weeks before they dropped out of school or were fired from my workplace respectively. So I didn't have to interact with them on a long term basis. But the things they told me (some of them in confidence, though it was probably just manipulative false confidence to gain my trust) were pretty personal. One of them told me life had no outlook for himself, he knew he'd end up in prison sooner or later (age 20 at that time), the other actually started to let his real character shine through (make dorky jokes or let it show a little when something someone else did actually hurt his feelings in a way). These are people who experience trauma (abuse, mobbing, insecurity, hostility, hospitality, violence, among other things) which makes them believe society or humanity are actually bad. They basically have the inherent believe that all people are evil and out to hurt them and humankind has wronged them. Sometimes it's understandable. But that shouldn't let you make the mistake of feeling sorry for them or justifying their actions in your own head. They are dangerous. They see people as objects. They don't have any respect for you, your will, your physical or mental well-being. And while they don't usually *intentionally* want to hurt you (unless you are out to mess with them and openly provoke them or seek conflict) they don't really care whether you get hurt in the process of them getting what they want. To them you getting physically or emotionally scarred in that process is like to us if we said "whoops, the bed broke because we jumped on it too hard. But hey, it's just furniture, right? And it's not even *my* bed, so why should I care?" Don't befriend sociopaths. You socially and emotionally gain nothing from it. You just highly increase your risk for emotional and psychological (and sometimes also physical) pain.
Usually I just scroll through long comments but this one ..I didn’t. I’m surprised this comment only has 2 likes (now 3). It deserves more! I like your explanations about your experiences, makes me realize the deeper stuff.
There's one thing I've noticed about a few folks I know for a fact are sociopaths. When ever they tell a story (whether it's true or a lie/ I'm assuming they were all half truths at best) they were always either 1 the victim or the hero of the story.
When Risky Business director Paul Brickman was introduced to Tom Cruise during casting and shook his hand, he related recoiling inwardly with the thought “This guy is a sociopath.” As we know, TC got the role, but it likely was not a comfortable shoot for his director.
I read an article about this recently, sociapaths and psychopaths actually have a big advantage in politics, including corporate politics, so are very common in political and corporate leadership.
The dude is cluing us into the fact that he's the manipulator, here. He said this: _"Sociopaths have a strong internal urge to manipulate you."_ So, the only thing holding him back from being monstrous is that his emotions make him feel regret for doing so. If he didn't have a strong emotional connection with others, he would try to control them. And you want to talk advice from _this_ guy? He has a child's perspective on this matter.
there are whole books about it of course, one of the best (and quickest reads) is called "The sociopath next door" by Martha Stout. She's a clinical psychologist and dealt with many sociopaths, she breaks it down fast into what seperates "them" (she estimates 1 in 20 people is a sociopath) from the rest of us. The primary revealing trait, she says is called "Pity ploy". They invariably result to trying to elicit pity when they are in any sourt of trouble.
@@robertmaybeth3434 I see what she saying. Do you think people learn to do that as little kids? You know, when they get mama to cave by acting wounded and it becomes ingrained.
@@semperfiarcher the overwhelming impression it is something someone is generally born with (or without). Depending on how the person is raised and what happens to them, often determines how bad a sociopath they will be. Dennis Raeder, BTK serial killer, was born this way, although he admitted he was dropped on his head as a baby (or so he was told - oddly this can sometimes be a factor).
We are called to be discerning spirits. It is impossible to fake genuine love, real concern, and impeccable truth -- no matter how brilliant a sociopathic actor you are! I don't listen to what people say, for words are meaningless. I watch what people do! Actions speak much louder than words!
People should learn to use their intuition more! When I face a problematic situation nowadays, I calm my mind and let the distractions flow away just like in meditation. They teach this method in the military nowadays! In the army you learn that its better to act even if you make the wrong move, compared to be passive and not take any decision and that's were intuition comes in.
^ ^ this !! listen to what they say then OVER TIME watch what they DO!! their words should match up with their actions.. !! and I dont mean they take and extra scoop of ice cream or hav a gossip session about the creepy guy you say bothers you.. but OVER TIME.. it will reveal itself! do they hav inconsistencies almost ALL the time.. ? can you trust them to tell you the Truth? what about when you're not there..? Trust this type of discipline.. and watch if they are Consistent!
Millon referred to sociopaths as "independent" personalities. As such they are often very successful in organizations and business environments where their ability to react situationally and do whatever it takes to achieve their aims gives them a competitive edge. They can throw you under the bus and never skip a beat. The other thing I would add is that sociopaths never take responsibility for bad outcomes.
It's true if i dedicate myself to a specific goal I will stop at nothing to reach it. On the same note, If I do end up failing at reaching that goal, the following spiral can be dangerous. For instance, I did everything I could to get into the army coming out of highschool. I made it. Basic Training, AIT, Bada bing bada boom right into a honorable medical discharge involving a corneal ecstasia in my left eye. Rip. It cost me my relationship at the time cause i became exceptionally distant and no longer was interested in most going on around me. The boredom was unbearable. It took me 2 years to snap out of that spiral and by then I was homeless, no job, living off of ebt and sleeping under bridges. lol
I was friends with a sociopath. It went from occasionally giving her a ride to chauffeuring her around daily all day long to loaning her money to using payday loans to get her money to finally losing my home and almost losing my husband. She pulled a year-long con on me. She’d borrow money and pay it back, until finally she owed me a very large amount and just spent the payback money instead of paying me back, all the while giving me excuses as to why the money wasn’t available yet. The final clue was when we were sitting in my car and I was bawling as I a told her how I was going to lose my house and my husband was going to leave me. She just sat there texting on her phone. I finally said, “Could you at least give me a hug and tell me it’s going to be okay?” She looked at me like I was crazy. When I finally wised up and told her no to her next ask, she was absolutely gobsmacked that I would deny her. Even after I broke off our friendship, she used me as an excuse to other people. She’d give out my phone number and address and tell people I had the money she owed them.
It's like, they (sociopaths) ONLY want you around them if your doing something for them, they have to use you to feel anything for you, it's sad, they are evil, horrible people.
Classic Borderline behaviour this as well. They always start with the small favours, next thing you know you've basically been bullied into being a servant, and they're using THEIR DEBT TO YOU as a carrot on a stick to keep you around and compliant. That's right, BPDs and ASPDs will be in debt to you, but are so egotistical, they view that simply as a means to make you work for them instead.
@Barbara Bavier You almost lost your house? Were you in love with this woman or something? Something's missing here, you're not telling the whole story.
Barbara- VERY sorry that you fell for her Trap- I also have lent money in the past- but after winning a very large sum of money- we have decided to keep away from those people and help others in need. YOU ARE POWERFUL Force that EVER EXISTED NOW- n just watchout for that horrid person. This is 1 of the reasons I don't invite people- first time we WON money - people trying to steal stuff from my handbag- will punch people if that happens again.
My ex spouse had “the face” which she would use to intimidate me or secretly punish me in public with the fear of what would happen when we got home. She used to say she loved “seedy” places. Places most people would feel as creepy or uncomfortable. She even had the psycho stare as a toddler in pictures. Creepy AF
I can spot a manipulator from miles away. I laugh at how they “think “ through that smirk on their face like they are being devious 😂 Go with your gut and vibes with people it will never steer you wrong .
I was speaking with my therapist about some of my experiences with my mother and her behaviors. I was saying that I am not sure what her diagnosis would be but I was interrupted by my therapist right then that it doesn’t matter what diagnosis, it comes down to the fact that she is not a good person. And as part of my therapy, I need to protect myself from this and identify the behaviors and traits before I get baited into situations I’m too deep to get myself out of. Because it has affected me in more ways than just my interactions with just her.
I have known a few Sociopaths. They did not come across as cold or manipulative because they had learned how to mask. One was more introverted and quiet, the other was an extroverted Ex-cheerleader. They both seemed like happy confident relaxed people due to a lack of guilt/remorse or concern. It was only after knowing them for awhile that they accidentally told on themselves. Whether someone is a Sociopath, or not, the only way to protect yourself is to have strong boundaries.
yes, it is really hard to tell right away. although sometimes you can get vibes. i've learned a lot over the years. one big red flag is if they only talk about themselves and show little to no interest to you or your life. or if they do at first but quickly lose interest. they also are really poorly emotionally regulated. their emotional reactions are really off or seemed forced. that's another red flag. they had trouble faking that in an authentic way.
This is spot on with one of my brothers and my ex GF. They in general seemed to lack Empathy and their responses often were very cold, especially when they were manipulative towards me or others .. interestingly, I could spot their manipulation pretty easily most times but some of them would really catch me by surprise. It's chilling how cold and emotionless these people are at the core and will do anything to achieve what they think is best for them.
They always right and you're ideas are never right, they can't even see your idea as logical, that's what makes them so obvious because the simple answer to them will make no sense and they will often lie to make your idea seem illogical.
I want to know how empathy is turned off in these people? Like it has been weaponized as if a frigid emotionless clone role model was broadcast into the minds of unsuspecting people.
I have a sibling who is a sociopath and I haven’t talked to that person in ten years, It blew my mind that sociopaths with there lies could pass a lie detector!
After a relationship with a sociopath narcissist, I recall that they were constantly making a show of being empathetic. It extended to everyone and everything - except, you guessed it, me. If someone is inflicting emotional pain on you constantly, don't bother to listen to their empathy stories. It's all a smokescreen for what goes on beneath.
Damn I've really done this before. I never tried manipulating people and I didn't even realize I was doing it. I just said things to try and get people to like me.
@@JonnyBetz Did you exclude your significant other or any loved ones from that special treatment of flattery and chameleon-ing? Some people just do what you're talking about, because they try to keep the peace and they have a natural inclination toward being able to fit in and get along with others. Reflect on your conscience and think back to the ways you may have harmed people in the past or in a current situation. Did you do so because you were ignorant/unaware of how it would affect people? Or do you not feel bad about it? Think about how you would feel, if someone- who provides you with absolutely nothing except love- if that person were to get hurt (whether physically, emotionally, or otherwise). How would you feel? Also, put yourself in their shoes and imagine the feelings they may experience. But, whatever you conclude, remember: it's a spectrum, and you have the option to exercise good morals or to live by a set of humane rules. I've seen the interview of a sociopath in the video, and he goes by a set of rules. He doesn't harm people, and he tries to stay aware and be held accountable for his actions and intentions.
Agreed. I live in a complex with a narcissistic sociopath. She will destroy you and manipulated several other tenants to intimidate, victimise myself and other tenants to the point that their kids developed problems.
I always have to learn the hard way. It's amazing how cute, sweet, and innocent a sociopath can be initially. When the veil was lifted i was disgusted. These people can especially cause you trouble when those who don't know what you know come to her rescue from you.
I have known some sociopaths and psychopaths. Sociopaths are a spectrum but I believe there is a point that has to be crossed before a person can be classified as a sociopath. 1 person in 30 may have anti-social behaviors but I understand it to be 1 in 100 is a sociopath. The lengths at which they will go to in order to manipulate people to get what they want, the lack of real loyalty, the ease at which they will lie and the complete lack of guilt is something that normal people are rarely prepared for.
I'm pretty anti-social and probably on the autistic spectrum. I have empathy, but I can also be cold and detached and have that stare. However, I've been around enough narcissists in my life to recognize the difference between the type of person who will validate your feelings and invalidate them. That's the main red flag for me. You have to learn these traits to at least avoid their games.
I am on the autistic spectrum and raised by narcissists. Because of their way of communicating to me, I have had doubts about myself actually being a narcissist. That is a red flag for them and a white flag for me, because narcissists lack selfreflection. They feed you with projections, defend with deflections, and tend to take over and distort the narrative of the life of someone else
@@nasreenbari2765 Most people on the autism spectrum do have empathy, but have trouble deciphering their own feelings and emotions let alone those of others. People with narcistic personality disorders even use their empathy as a tool to aid their manipulation. Empathy is the ability to feel the emotions of another person, experiencing those emotions with another person. If you have emotions of your own, you have a certain amount of empathy, since emotions are mostly created and heavily influenced by your external environment
@@jimmy-stevenbiemans1486 I believe I responded to the wrong person/ comment. Thought I was responding to the individual so believes they’re antisocial while experiencing empathy. My response to that person is that they are not antisocial/ (or narcissistic)
I sometimes don't want to empathize with people so in depth. I also do not want anything from anyone. I do want to love people and help them. I don't want to lie to get them to like me and I like to be honest about my short comings. I guess I'm not a narcissist. So I'm thankful for that.
I'm the exact opposite. I have empathy to the point of almost being a pushover. You tell me a sob story and I'll give you money and help in any way I can. I have learned to be more cautious about this now later in life, but I had to learn the hard way. I have been put through the ringer by sociopaths and narcissists. I know I'm partially to blame for putting myself out there, but like I said I don't do it anymore.
I'm not sure if it's a good idea to stop your natural empathy. While a few sociopath might try to exploit you, other genuinely empathetic people will recognize you and become close to you. It's better to suffer a few rip offs rather than behaving like a sociopath yourself (not saying you're doing it, I'm just bringing it to the extreme to make a point). There's being ripped off, and then there's the opportunity cost that you're missing by not expressing your empathy.
Just get to know them longer before giving anything valuable, like money, your trust or any personal information that could be used against you. No one who has empathy themselves will ask for much right in the beginning, and will respect your boundaries.
They make great bosses. I worked for one. One thing: He was very proud of himself. Second: I was surprised how much apparent love and favoritism he had for his daughter. They can have favorites. This was despite the fact that he totally cheated everyone else.
i remember telling my neighbour that my mom had died. I saw something very unsettling afterwards. This was obviously a shock to him as it was unexpected. What i did notice didn't sit right with me he covered his mouth and looked as though he smiled i will never forget that. He is now in prison for murder on the first degree of someone he was close to
was gonna note that smiling is a nervous response some very normal people have and isnt necessarily indicative of glee in situations like that, then read the second part
The truth is that if you are emotionally healthy, to a fairly high level, cleaned up your childhood traumas, etc. you don't get manipulated by narcissists and sociopaths. It just doesn't happen. You easily see through them. You don't need someone to fill your empty spaces, you don't have many. When you already feel pretty full inside, you don't need someone else to make you feel special. So you are not drawn towards or fooled by those people.
Unfortunately for some, cleaning up childhood trauma is way too much work. And god forbid they look into they're own soul and figure out the reasons why sane people want nothing to do with them, they're whole world is shattered.
I'm not the most empathetic, but absolutely hate lying, selling myself as something I'm not, and the thought of trying to manipulate people like they're objects in a game is deeply upsetting.
For me who comes prepared to a meeting and someone goes out of line to gain control I just override it through higher management. I detest people that are pure cringe.
Loving your convictions is the trick... Empathy, Honesty, Decency. Love those things about yourself... make efforts everyday to host them in your life. :)
Then your probably normal. I have some of these trades of a a Sociopath too but am clearly no Sociopath because most of these trades are missing. I think most people have some of these trades but only because you have one or a few off them it is no sign you would have allot or all of those trades. I am really good at lying for example but sometimes i feel guilty for it and that would not be possible if i would be a Sociopath or Psychopath or something like that (but i don't lie all the time i am only extremly good at it and sometimes use lies to get what i want but i am not lying to every person) and sometimes i have a little bit lag of empathy but it is not like i have none, it is only in some cases.
I've dated someone who was diagnosed sociopathic. She was often upset or angry, and I was mostly consoling her and trying to get her to warm up to people. After a bad falling out in another relationship, she decided to post revenge porn and lie about it. My worst and first ex
Sometimes people who are awkward and nervous in social settings act like a sociopath in a few ways just trying to get through the day lol. But we lack all the bad parts and the excess.
My cousin is Autistic and he comes across awkward when someone is upset about something. Its not being he has no empathy, its because he hates seeing people sad and wants to save them by finding solutions to solve their saddness. He is learning how to just listen to thst person rather then be an unwanted hero.
My parents are at the very least narcissists, mother probably sociopathic. And the thing I wanted to comment on was staring. I know I stare at people, and I will tell you why. My parents' moods were unpredictable. I watched them carefully to tell what mood they were in. My father in particular was very, umm, combustible. He would fly into a temper. You could tell, if you watched him carefully. In fact, I think empaths can often be mistaken for a sociopath because we have the same behaviours for different reasons. Another example: empaths may believe in conspiracy theories because they know how badly people can behave. Sociopaths also believe in them, because they are jealous of people in power, and they know how THEY would behave if they had some.
@@islandmaaan1115 Weak babies are the kind of people who get threatened by hearing an abuse survivor's story, & come on the internet to call them names. 😂
Sadly i think my daughter is one. She lies about stuff that is just unbelievable. She changes her personality around whoever shes around and once she gets what she wants she throws the person away. Im the most recent victim. She replaced me with a new *family* because they have what she wants atm. She will be crying to me in a few months im sure. She got mad because i wouldnt get upset everytime she broke up with her baby daddy and wanted to hurt herself and hand her child to me and i finally said no.
I find it fun to toy with sociopaths and psychopaths. They think they are manipulating me but I am extremely good at faking emotions as I studied body language.
I have ASPD, but I have worked very hard as an adult to understand myself in order to develop a moral compass and comprehend how my behaviour affects others and why they have certain responses. I didn't used to care how I affected others and my narcissism was extreme, but the older I have gotten, the more self aware I have become. We are not all the same, it is a spectrum, and we can learn a type of empathy. I was raised by a narcissist and a sociopath, so I think I'm a product of my environment. We can grow, and develop some emotion through imitation, but I don't believe that people with ASPD should ever have children.
In my opinion, those who fight to grow empathy, and enforce it upon themselves, while honestly admitting the struggle, are often times more respectable than those who naturally have it, but choose it ignore it, or take it for granted. Thank you for caring about others with your mind, even if it is difficult with the (metaphorical) heart.
I mean they did say sociopaths are made and psycopaths are born. I think that mere explanation entails that with therapy and age sociopaths can get better but psycopaths cannot, since their brains are literally different than most since birth. Btw my dad is a narcissistic sociopath and my mom ended up divorcing him like 15 years ago. What kept me and my sister from becoming like him is our mom and the desire of not being like him.
We are who we are and we can only strive to be the best of our selves. I am in the autistic spectrum my self. So I am so sensitive to emotion and have empathy dialed up so high that I can have symptoms where I feel someone's emotion so intensely it feels like my own feelings. It also means my intuitive feelings are extremely high and accurate which often results in being manipulative becuse I understand how they feel. Ect ect everyone should live by a personal code and if we are striving to be our best and to do good then no one can ask more. You are good the way you are just keep growing and striving.
@@elizabethroa6970 the parts of the brain which differ in both psychopaths and sociopaths stop developing in the late teens. By the time a person is eligible for an ASPD diagnosis the brain is formed. There is no way for a sociopath to stop being what they are. They can learn coping mechanisms that will allow them to exist in a way that doesn't drive people away. To suggest that they can get "better" feels like there is some way of curing the way the mind has developed. Conversion therapy already went down this road. Unless you mean better at hiding their tells, which is definitely an option.
You'd be surprised what a hard life of abuse, neglect, rejection, being treated like SHIH, and seeing ppl who you're better than in SO MANY WAYS get ALL the things you were denied through circumstance/skin color/socioeconomic inheritance/environment would do to a person. You'd definitely develop "the switch".💯🤔🧔🏾♂️
most arent, the amount of sociopaths in managers, surgeons and first responders is higher than avg. Part, because they like power and control, but also because others drop out, because they take every patient too personal and cant switch off after work. Some people cant deal with repairing humans and loosing 2-15% of them.
I think acting empathy is when you are in the beginning of a relationship with a sociopath or let’s say a manipulative person .. but gaslighting and invalidating your feelings is when your relationship with them is at more advanced level where they guaranteed your presence and where there’s no need for acting anymore .. I’ve been there :’) even though I can’t diagnose for sure if that person is a sociopath , the most characteristic feature to me was lying.. that left me between believing them or not (at first) because they were too intense and too much
As a socially-awkward, highly empathetic person, I always TRY to hold eye contact so I dont come off as shy or timid. But also I blink a lot and my one eye drifts so I'm focused on that not happening. I wonder how many people I've creeped out over the years.
I don’t think you creeped out people. Most people understand that there are people who can feel awkward holding eye contact. If someone has been “creeped out” then you don’t want to have them in your life anyway. They obviously have no understanding of others and no empathy
Dont worry about them, Lauren. People are the sewer scum of the Earth's city. They would look for any imperfection, if its not holding the eye contact long enough, then its holding it too long. If its not a crumb on your mustache, then its your clothes being too perfect. People are lower than grub-worms, God made your drifty eye that way, and if they dont like it, then just let it drift over to somewhere else, God bless.
I'm sorry that i found your last sentence funny. I am also socially awkward and highly empathetic. I also find it to feel unnatural to hold eye contact for too long. It reminds me of how I am in job interviews. I am so focused on my eye contact, and i can't wait for the interviewer to look away bc my eyes start to water or burn or feel dry (basically it just physically feels uncomfortable after too long...even with blinking). So I thought about that cuz i always wonder if the person interviewing me can tell I'm being weird lol!
If you have trouble maintaining eye contact, focus on the nose as you will still appear to be maintaining eye contact. It's what I do and it works as I have had social anxiety when interacting and know not maintaining eye contact is a bad trait
I’ve had four narcissistic psychopaths in my life. I had a boss that tried to kill me on six occasions and destroy me on four other occasions. Another, destroyed our family, she was the youngest of three siblings my mom had. A third, destroyed my reputation in the town I live in. The fourth, I married, she destroyed my kids and have convinced them to stay with her in their adult lives.
My mother was a sociopath. When I was young, a psychologist gave me the advice to have a good relationship with her or I would never be successful in a romance. I wasted nearly my whole adulthood trying to have a good relationship with her while she destroyed all my relationships. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would have run away and never looked back, and wouldn't have seen that psychologist.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m a sociopath. I feel empathy though . I grew up with so much of it, as I age though I realized I’m not that way anymore and I find myself favoring absolutes and dictating. I also find myself detaching when it comes to comparing everything to surviving. Knowing that sociopath can develop I question myself. I think being 10 years out of therapy and living life makes me question who am I a lot these days. Thanks for listening.
I wouldn’t say you’re a sociopath. I’d say you’re just human and getting older. The more experience one acquires with life, especially negative ones, the more dull and less receptive they are and become to their surroundings and people. It’s a defence mechanism. It doesn’t mean you lack empathy nor the ability to connect- just that you don’t want to because of what it entails.
This renders as more borderline personality. After I read this, I read it again in the context of engaging or interacting where someone exemplified these dynamics. Borderline shares some qualities with socio and is also incurred as aftermath or by way of trauma & abandonment-𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 for males. Females (are more likely to) have some genetic component.
same bro, a lot of the things listed in the video i can do quite easily, because ive subconsciously gained a lot of sociopathic skills out of desperation. but at the end of the day im a very empathetic person, more than most I think.
I'm not feeling you are a sociopath from your description but I'd just like to say that people freak out with these things, but we all live together in soceity and interact with all sorts of personalities here described and so on. "Evil" doesn't come in one shape only... I don't think there are good people and bad people. Some people who are "good" and capable of great benefit are also perpetrators of other kinds of evil, sometimes by being too passive for example.
trust your gut! Young people may fall into bad relationship more easily due to wanting to be with someone but you learn to see the signs as you get older and pause and go "nope!"
The worst thing is when a narcissist, psychopath or sociopath project and label others with such disorders just because they are a student of the field of psychology or work in the field.
We draw boundaries and give each other space. It's too much to have several in one place. Bad things will happen. Prison is another setting with sociopaths grouped together. And it's an enchanting setting.
it’s intriguing yet exhausting so distance is kept for most part. if they gang up whole area is cooked until one betrays the other. first reply is pretty spot on
I'm abt to get advisedly diagnosed by my psychologist next year for ASPD and I can tell you it can go in two different ways. First it can be all good for the two of us, because we like how that person acts, we know exactly how their mind works, so it creates a "bound" where two ppl who don't fit in this world understand each other, which is what happened between me and my closest friend, he is also one. Now if it is a sociopath with many violent urges, the constant criminal path, don't have any control, it's a dead-game, they hate each other, they want to see who's the best at it most of the times, it's rather competitive, it's quite like maths (+violence + +violence= ++violence). But that was an interesting question to answer ngl
The difference between sociopathy and psychopathy can be subtle and is often misunderstood. Sociopaths: They do have some capacity for empathy, though it's usually limited and selective. They can form attachments and feel loyalty to a specific individual or group but tend to lack empathy towards others outside their circle. Their behavior is more erratic and impulsive, and they can form emotional attachments but may struggle with maintaining them. Psychopaths: They typically have a more profound lack of empathy across the board, meaning they are unable to form genuine emotional connections with others. Their behavior is more calculated, and they tend to be more manipulative and charming on the surface. Movies, TV shows, and even some TH-cam videos tend to simplify complex psychological concepts to make the storyline more dramatic and easier for the audience to understand. They often portray both sociopaths and psychopaths as ruthless, emotionless villains because it creates a more compelling narrative.
I’ve heard some sociopaths describe it as having self interest without any true sense of self, and that building a stronger connection with who they were helped them a LOT in being more aware of how to treat others with respect. Makes sense really. If you barely care about yourself and your boundaries, how are going to know you should be doing that for others? Also, I’ll just say, I’m WAY more scared of getting involved with a narcissist than a sociopath. At least with the latter, they’re capable of reason and self-reflection and change, even taking on an altruistic philosophy that is couched in self-interest but still has a good impact. Narcissists can’t ever improve themselves or their behavior because of how anathema that is to how they’re wired. And I would know, being raised by two of them, lol. They can’t even simulate genuine care for others. So if you meet one of those, run run run and never ever look back.
With that being said, would you say you've developed narcissistic tendencies? Are you able give care for others even though you weren't given it yourself ?
Well, they raised me, and never let me be exposed to anything else, so I definitely picked up some tendencies, or maybe habits is more accurate? But the underlying psychology was never there, and I ended up being unable to communicate what I actually meant and being confused when I was misunderstood or pushed people away, especially when I was a kid. And not having friends made it even harder to learn proper social skills. I’ve spent the entirety of my 20’s in and out of therapy and generally trying to weed out those bad habits and thought patterns. It’s been incredibly tough, but I’ve come a very, long way, which I try my best to be proud of. I definitely care about others, though, always have as a hyper-empath, especially since I didn’t think of myself as being as much of a person as other people (the result of never getting unconditional love). But I was only ever given the tools to give the sort of care that my narcissistic parents demanded of me. Which was toxic for me and didn’t translate well outside of those relationships, except with other abusers, who sought me out for that reason. I didn’t know how to think and act with the kindness I intrinsically wanted to give, how to build others up, or share in their happiness. All of that was completely alien to me, and seeing it in media always put me off because of how fake it seemed. And then part of it was the effect of trauma, too; since everything was already being drained from me, I had nothing left to give to others. I still struggle with giving care in some ways, even though I very much want to. Partly because new habits are hard to build, partly because I have a limited circle of people to care about, and partly because I’m still healing from the trauma and the resulting self-preservation instincts that say that if I give anything, the other person is going to take more than I have and then use it to hurt me. Or that I’ll do it wrong and end up being mocked (I got bullied a lot, too). It feels like a sort of...vulnerability that I shouldn’t risk showing. I’ve gotten better at fighting that, though, especially since I can enforce my boundaries now. It’s just...a journey. And complicated. And exhausting.
what you said first is kinda right, after i find out , i was aware most of the time what i'm doing, tho i might have still done it, but i was aware but i'm both a narcissist and sociopath but i do agree that only narcissist are kinda crazy , like they are absolute on their beliefs, now it might me my narcissist self saying that only narcissist are crazier than narcissist sociopath but a sociopath will cope with you if they like you or you are usefull narcissist don't they get defensive even in slightest things and will go do outrageous things i've find this behaviour in many pampered girls, so a narcissist is definitely crazier but i think it's in shorter period if yo get rid of them, a sociopath won't let you get rid of them easily unless they want to
I would suggest it doesn't matter if they are a psychopath or not; Learning to detect if people are trying to manipulate you is a good skill.
Well yeah that's why it's good to detect if they're a sociopath.
@@PhlegmBoHiggins Why are you ok with none sociopaths manipulating you?
@@lucidmoses they'll clearly have better intentions.
@@PhlegmBoHiggins Odd, So your saying your ok with someone doing bad things to you knowing it's bad and knowing it will hurt you instead of someone that does the same thing not thinking that it would hurt you.
I'm going to take that as someone not responding appropriately and bow out of this conversation.
that's good rule of thumb, be alert to manipulation any time, anywhere
also, avoid fakes & weirdos that suppress their emotions & reactions
“Imagine you want something. Now imagine how you would get that thing if your brain could not feel guilt or empathy”. That explanation did it for me, thanks
Exactly, I think they see us as just simple objects. i.e You wouldn't feel pity or shame for an object, would you?
why guilt?
Yeah it made me realize I was a sociopath too.
@@mattjindrak Oh I’m not a sociopath 😂
@@cristianv3876 It is a good description
One trait I found is they’re very kind and super welcoming, but right after they get what they want they become totally different person
Yes, you are correct! I worked for one for 17 years. I feel so sorry for his wife! He had an explosion toward his wife at work one day & it was heartbreaking to see the effect of it on her and to realize that she has to go home to that every day after working for him in the office. I think he could easily turn a woman into a Lorena Bobbit! 😬😳😱
@@karynbanksley7110 Wow you are evil, aren't you. Instead of doing the right thing and ending the relationship. You rather there be violence. You are sick in the head.
I can be very warm, in a social setting, and in a good mood trusting that others have an understanding of boundaries. However, they don’t, if they are the sociopath. My friendliness and trusting nature could be taken wrong on their part. Then they may think I am like Jekyll & Hyde. So the problem is in the dynamics, timing, and setting; and a matter of interpretation.
YES!!
@@hollywood5703 do you also have consistency with the person? If not, there’s a problem there of course
As a middle aged man that was very recently diagnosed with ASPD, I can confirm most of these things. I tend to scare people without trying. And once I grew up a bit, I began to notice the instincts I have and my compulsion to manipulate and dominate were not getting me anywhere. I therefore realized that I needed to re-learn my pattern of thought in order to stop hurting myself and others in my life. I've been attending trauma therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy.
It's been a lot of work. I hope I can be a force to build and leave a positive impact someday, instead of rotating through jails and institutions and lovers for no good reason.
You can do anything you set your mind to do. I believe good always wins over evil. Maybe becoming spiritual/God loving and fearing may help? I wish you all the best!
Congratulations on your self-awareness and desire to improve. Many people don't want to change their ways; you do. Wish you luck mate
💪😎✨ aww amazing....take a lot of strength to face your demons and build a good life
❤❤❤
People with antisocial personality disorders regularly use therapy as a lie and do nothing to change. You're correct though. If you don't change, you will repeat the same cycle over and over again. There's no long-term benefit to manipulation. Only more enemies and people that leave you behind. It's a survival technique and will do the job, but that's about it.
Keep in mind that while the prevalence may be around 1 in 30 population wide. The occurrence in a given group will vary widely. A room full of politicians may have a prevalence of 1 in 2. Seven foot tall humans is a good example. They are a rare sight but not at an NBA game. The 'paths will self select as well as drift towards certain occupations and social circles.
That's actually a comforting way to think about it.
Thanks for that. 🔥
Yesss, but. Territorial, highly mobile socially, and on average imbalanced in the stability of their lives. You very likely will meet them more often than you'd like to.
a sociopathic politician! Horrific
Donald Trump is a sociopathic narcissist. If people can't see that then they will never be able to recognize a sociopath.
I worked with a sociopath once and it is an experience I would never like to repeat. You don't realize what's going on until it's too late. I would recommend this: if you find yourself telling someone a lot about your life and feel almost a compulsion to divulge your secrets, stop immediately and step away from the relationship. The other person is mining you for information about yourself that he or she can use against you. Never assume that another person's intentions toward you are benevolent. A lot of times your worst enemy can present themselves like they're your best friend, or at least someone you can trust. Always be on your guard against manipulation.
Yep - I’ve been fooled a few times now. Not anymore though.
@@rpgtips3802 probably did (if your comment was directed to me). I have been too trusting too quickly in the past. And I’m a naturally generous person so I guess I give off those signals. But I’m finally learning TG..
They are usually attracted to empaths because it's easy to manipulate them because they know they are genuine
Only learning the hard way after the fact but looking forward to never falling for it again, thank you fir your comment it's exactly part of my story 🖐
Jesus effin Christ...If I held the door open for you...Would you think me a sociopath?
Not all sociopaths are bad. It’s their deeds that make them evil. It just easier for them to cross the line.
So easy dear
Exactly. Being a sociopath doesn’t automatically make someone a bad person. People think all sociopaths are comic book villains with some dark agenda.
Yes you have a point there! I agree, it is true. But still it is not adviced to relate with them even if they are good. You should better keep your distance. If one of them is in your family or relative environment and you cant avoid them at least keep an eye on them and be carefull. Avoid trusting them.
@@johnkaminis8703 No.
@@johnkaminis8703 yes
I went through it. Thought dude was my best friend. Loved him. He didnt even show any signs until we became roommates. He flipped overnight. Started trying to make me think i was crazy and almost create like a submissive relationship. Little did he know i wasn't the one. Moved out in a week
Your instincts were spot on. I'm glad that you didn't waste anymore time on him than you did.
Check out the book Looking Out for #1
You’re strong and wise
The thing that confuses and concerns me, is every time I watch a list of sociopathic traits, I see several that describe me, except I still feel empathy - sometimes too much.
same. i have all these but my empathy is so strong it can be debilitating at times. so idk i guess we fall into an extreme because of our intense experience with the spectrum emotions and absorbing others' energies. one thing alot of these aspd people have in common (and with us ) is their mastery of energy manipulation albeit with a lack of truly experiencing another;s emotions. i think whne you have an extreme relationship with emotions/empathy like being hyper empathic or not having it all, you become very familiar with energy and transmutation
You don't need to be a full blown sociopath to exhibit a lot of these behaviors. Especially when it comes to taking advantage of people and being manipulative in certain situations - this behavior isn't uncommon in our society but being a sociopath is a rare disorder.
Sounds like BPD. Borderline personality disorder. Highly emotional but with similar traits.
My sister has the stare. Sometimes only the whites of her eyes show. She does this to people and family she'd like to be or be in. She's very empathic to a fault. But is manipulative. I call her out when she's in public doing that to someone so she'll stop. It's very embarrassing. She has a fascination with death and dead things. It grosses me out.
She's a healthcare worker for the elderly. She likes to be in the face of someone dying and that is the freakiest thing.
Sometimes I think her empathy is a cover up but now it's become a part of who she is just like the fascination with death. At times she's on the road looking at dead deer. I ask her what she's doing she said .. trying to find out why it died.
Excuse me ..it was hit by a car..you can't see the internal damage. I think her care there.... is a cover up for looking at it. At times she can be very mean also. I know a lot of these people. They have fooled most people.
When growing up my sister and I got it shoved into our heads to stop worrying about someone else and only worry about yourself.
Isn't that a good thing to teach children.
I'd like to blood type these people and I bet 1 group would be way bigger than others.
@@screamsella v interesting. do u find though that your manipulation is done to genuinely make people feel better for their own well-being or is it for your own agenda?
Man I feel like a lot of people are going to mis-label a bunch of socially awkward people as siciopaths after this video.
Well, It Is Defined As An Anti-Social Personality Disorder !
@@masasosaa9835 ???....
@@masasosaa9835 Socially awkward =/= ASPD
Yeah, I know! Just because it's antisocial personality disorder, they think Aspd is the same as antisocial, as in socially awkward. And also, they think that a quiet person is a serial killer (generalization, but okay).
Yep I already got called psychopath from my whole life only because I don't have friends I don't cry often when someone dies also I like to watch snuff gore movies true crime and also I find some kindo of thrill when I see blood lol
Kind of irrelevant to the video, but Gregory House is not a sociopath. If you guys actually watch the show, you'll see that he cares a lot when nobody is watching. He simply has an avoidant type of attachment.
Agreed. I think the "sociopath" is the mask of House when in reality he cares too much sometimes.
@@MsAubrey i don't think soo, He's a narcissist too he helps people to satisfy that, and sociopath care about only few people, like very close one
i think he’s a narcissist but wouldn’t go as far as saying he’s a sociopath. people throw around that term like it’s nothing lol
He cares about nothing but the truth. He may seem like a d*ck, but he knows what people are like, their weaknesses and what lengths they are willing to go to (by lying) to achieve something.
Well said. I was about to type this. Also, I don't remember what is the exact symptom or illness, but I read that due to his leg injury House became incredibly susceptible to pain, whether it be physical or emotional. So besides feeling pain due to the leg, if House is injured, troubled, or has a headache, whatever he feels it'll be 10 times worse compared to the average person, which is why he avoids emotional attachments as best as he can.
House grabs his leg whenever he is suffering emotionally. A good example is in Season 6, when he tells Wilson that if he where to die, he'd be forever alone. Greg sits down and clenches his leg.
There's a plethora of other examples like this in the show.
People think it's just the physical pain that torments House, but it's not entirely true.
The greatest red flag I recommend people develop a heightened awareness of is charisma. Not just a feeling of 'wow, that's a pretty cool guy', but when you're gut informs you that you've met very few people in your life so far with THAT type of impact. In my personal experience, I find sociopathy often goes hand in hand with charisma. It's why I'm extremely wary of celebrity fake Gods, all cultural architects and our sick culture in general which seems to worship anybody working in the entertainment industry (including the media); because these charismatic people are often so dark, man. What a sickness that we set up children to soak it all up.
Ever work in a carnival lol
@@danaparfitt2491 Definitely not Notting Hill Carnival, that's for sure.
Exactly. There is a type, or an amount, of charisma that immediately feels repulsive to me.
@@oldeuropemyhome76 I want you on my team. ✌✌✌
I wouldn't go as far as to say that charisma is the glaring trait, since actions speak louder than words
There’s someone I’ve suspected of being a sociopath. They’re so charismatic, can never do any wrong. When I was pregnant, they would get angry and throw things at the wall beside me but then acted like I was over reacting because “I intentionally missed you, why are you upset?” That was a frequent question; why are you upset? They seemed to legitimately not understand. Glassy eyed stare was a norm.
Well then, just get far away from that person
@@yessigabi12 I am now, but it wasn’t applicable for a long time. Sometimes you just have to cooperate with someone who scares you.
@@RoseKoneko of course, but good you saw the red flags on time.
So what are you waiting for? Get out before he decides not to miss.
@@glynnisthomas9165 As he was the father of the baby, that’s a lot easier said than done. Like I said above, sometimes you just have to learn how to deal with someone who scares you. He doesn’t scare me anymore, I hardly see him now that he’s moved.
1) lack of empathy
2) urge to manipulate
3) feels good to be around them (they become what you want) too good to be true
4) the stare (doesn’t look away or blink)
5) lies without remorse and have can’t show natural emotions. Inappropriate emotions for the situation
Urge to manipulate, feels good to be around them, the stare, doesn’t show emotion, “inappropriate” reactions to situations. _On the surface,_ it’s the basic description of a scorpio, lol
Yes true lol
That's every Taurus ♉ individual I know.
I know all of the signs and I NEVER experience # 3. 😉🙏🏾
to be fair, " Inappropriate emotions for the situation" sounds like group think or peer pressure to me. A man told me today how he was shocked by how unaffected his sister was at someone's death and the someone turned out to be a famous ballplayer neither of them had ever met. Some people are too emotional and it is silly to fake emotions.
One fact the "experts" consistently get wrong is the lack of empathy. Sociopaths can compartmentalize who the do and don't feel empathy for. It does however take quite a bit to enter the worthy of empathy category but they can feel and apply empathy. They also consciously recognize that there are those they feel it for and those (the majority) who they don't. They also feel they're smarter than most others...and they usually are.
You are right, Blanquito. But their selections are directly based on their interests. Normal people have the feeling of empathy regardless of the response they can get from others. Sociopaths are always calculating results. Actually, their sense of empathy are always self-centered.
Anyone have some sources I can read regarding what the commenter is referring to?
Yep. For sure.
@@tamsintarshish3905 Thank you very much, I’ll check it out!
I feel empathy for A VERY select few. There the only safe ones. Everyone one else. Is extremely venerable to my trap. Usually easily set if you trigger it.
Some sociopath "tells" I've noticed are:
(1) Switching emotional presentation with zero transition time, i.e. going from bawling meltdown to calm conversation; they're simply trying out what works on you, not actually expressing anything.
(2) Yes, sociopaths will stare/maintain eye contact for too long, but also watch WHERE their eyes are looking, and remember WHY: they are busy trying to extract every clue from your face and body language as to how best to manipulate you; "Is what I'm doing working? How should I adjust?".
(3) Presenting as having "seen a lot of life"- yet also prone to asking questions about human behavior that might be appropriate for a young child or alien visitor, but not an empathetic and normally socialized adult.
that last point is very interesting
Yes . I can attest to your third point especially.
Can you give an example of the third point?
- Cognitive empathy is a thing that sociopaths and psychopaths can and do feel and often intentionally cultivate. For some, it may be because they look at nature and realize humans are pack animals and community health is this important. Others believe strongly in individual autonomy, and thus will decide not to hurt others out of some cosmic respect. Still others simply decide to live by a moral code because they observe that this is the best way to stay out of prison, make AND keep money, and maintain a social circle of people willing to help you.
- For many sociopaths and/or psychopaths, it’s less than they have urges to manipulate, and more that they’re lacking the barriers to manipulative behavior that most people have, and thus don’t see the logical point in NOT lying if it helps the situation.
That makes sense.
Thus we understand why implementing the strategies from The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene, are effective as it requires pushing past the barriers that others won't, and why certain types of people are more successful than others in certain areas\ fields.
True. I like how the comments are smarter than the video itself.
For me, it’s the third reason you listed
When you say "They can and do feel empathy" do you mean that all of them do just less frequently and/or less strongly, or do they need to come to a realisation about the world or form a belief/moral compass about the world in order to to feel empathy normally
Yup, I was raised and abused by a sociopathic mother who had high narcissistic like qualities. The caveat was that she surprisingly impressed everyone outside the family, and was admired in our community. Her only goal was to manipulate and control, and put herself above everyone else. She could not care that she physically and mentally abused us, it was all about her feelings which mattered most. It’s difficult being around her, because while the abuse has ended now that I’m an adult and moved out long ago, I still pick up on these qualities and remember my own trauma. Therefore, it’s almost impossible for me to enter a relationship and connect with another woman. Even tho I’m 27, I’m still processing everything that was passed on to me.
Mines was quite like this too, she always wanted people to think highly of her and always said “what goes on in this house stays in this house”, I was called manipulative , psychopath, sociopath and honestly sometimes I felt like she was just projecting. It always questioned myself and whether or not I was or not. A conversation with her would always end up with her yelling. I wasn’t perfect as a teenager, but I did end up running away
Processing trauma isn't a race, and it takes serious guts to address issues caused by a narcissistic/sociopathic parent (I know from experience). I would highly recommend looking into therapy if you are able, and if not there are many self-help guides online that can provide help. I know people who set their minds and pasts at rest in their mid-thirties/forties, and I have so much respect for them. Your afterlife from trauma doesn't have to revolve around her too
In order to connect with another woman you have to disconnect from the one you are still connected to-stop pursuing your mother.
and you will for life...but you'll feel better and better, less EMPTY*. .....best excemple, right here!
Two of my brothers have zero empathy for what others go through. Good luck to anyone who have these jerks in their family. I have nothing to do with them.
Remember that these are all "could be" signs. Just because people show certain "signs" doesn't mean they ARE a sociopath. Remember, do not do ANYTHING that you are not comfortable with, no matter who is asking. Do not give anything that you are not willing to lose. It is always ok to say "no."
Yeah exactly mate . Everyones an expert after a 5 minute lowdown. Its more Dunning Kruger tham Freddie Kruger PSML haha
Sociopath type people get extremely angry whe you have and impliment firm boundaries because it disables them....and THEN the manipulation begins! My oldest sister is showing signs mentioned in this video, firstly what I have just mentioned about boundaries and also she has no care and empathy but will verbally exclaim how she loves and cares for me and our family, but will deliberately hurt and manipulate if you let her. Her actions are void of care and empathy. My mother had two nervous break downs over the years because of the subtle manipulation we all couldnt understand. My mom found and organisation called TOUGH LOVE in Soth Africa, which helped us and me, learn how to disable the behaviour. This organisation was a God Send. When I impliment boundaries now, she will tell me she is afraid of me, (trying to turn the table - so that she will be perceived as the victim) Thank you for this video. Now I know, after reading all the comments, that I am not immagining things. All the gas lighting can make me doubt myself. I suspect the Socoipath can spot and empath from a f***en mile away.
And if people don't accept "no" , there is something wrong with them , not with you. Keep close to your boundaries indeed !
Or even “let’s talk again in a month?”
@@emilschneider9974your on the ball,keep the boundaries strong.we get bored easily.
I’m no psychologist but if someone is being unusually nice to me my spidey senses kick in and I know I’m being subjected to attempted manipulation
What if someone isn’t nice to you? Do you think they’re hating you? People on the autism spectrum have problems reading others and they’re usually blamed for being “not nice”
@@happyemoji6553 I feel more uncomfortable with someone being too nice than someone being rude with me, someone being rude for no reason often feels more authentic than someone being overly nice, I would think they're just having a bad day or maybe that's how they normally behave
It could definitely be a red flag. I'd say watch out for people who seem "Too good to be true" if they seemingly are so charismatic, go out of their way to be incredibly kind and start love-bombing you that is definitely a field of red flags.
But I get what you saying.
you couldn't be more wrong to be very very honest, i wil never give up being nice, to change myself cuz others do have a sick thinking mind, i might be bad cuz i might be 'too' nice...yea ..na just no.
You might have some suppressed childhood trauma. Honestly, everyone does. Talk to a therapist.
Learn to say: No!
Be brutal about cutting these people from your life.
They will make you feel like YOU'RE in the wrong. It's ok, just walk away. Forever.
yep
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD shallow af
EXACTLY!🤨 RUN RUN RUN! AND DON'T LOOK BACK!
I just did, i found out a friend i had is a sociopath and i told him straight away, that he is one, and he almost made me believe he is not and i fell again for it. 😅 but no more lol.
Exactly what i did 4 older siblings are frantic now that I'm not around to fix all their breaks and council them. I tried for 35 yrs what a waist of my sanity.😆💪🎸
A sociopath nearly destroyed my life. One of the worst times of my life. I wish I knew about these red flags sooner. They're absolutely spot on.
I always hated people who never broke eye contact. Creeped me out no matter how friendly they were. Now I know those freaks are actually sociopaths. As an introvert, the fact that I sometimes avoid eye contact helped me to not be friends with them. Haha!
Tell us what happened. I'm very curious
@@lorenzosyquia4769 it's kinda hard to talk about. This person would fake seizures and make threats of hurting himself if he didn't get his way, emotionally and financially manipulative, tried to ruin what was left of my relationships, was very controlling, gaslighted me, etc. On top of being in a really toxic relationship at the time and having a miscarriage, I tried killing myself. Luckily I survived, escaped, and my life has been a 180 since then.
@@electricsoup7481 I'm glad you survived it! You must have lived through hell. Was he jealous of your relationship? What made this person so appealing anyway?
Same. 18 years with a narcissistic.
The Theranos lady had the spookiest crazy stare, I can't believe people trusted her with anything.
straight out of a horror movie, her stare.
I’m not surprised at all. Corporate culture rewards sociopaths.
I’m not surprised at all. Corporate culture rewards sociopaths.
I’m not surprised at all. Corporate culture rewards sociopathy.
Her eyes are completely unhinged
Mimicking emotions and fabricating stories is a great skill for actors
And politicians …
Had a friend who was a Sociopath. Watching your video confirmed what I had suspected. He was manipulative and lied constantly while remaining charming. He also lacked empathy. One day he cheated me and I called him out on his lie. His denial was so extreme, angry and over the top that I knew something was wrong with him and had to end our friendship. Live and learn.
none of that adds up to sociopath. if that were true every cheater would be a sociopath.
Idk man i think anyone would act like that if you accused then of being a sociopath
@@gianthills YES This is the exact danger of such videos. You are correct. Despite some of the accurate information it depicts, it is not productive to put it our there with a close examination about how many, many behaviors can also just be poor choices or bad behavior we all are prone to at times in are lives.
@Jammy Climba Now this is one behavior all psychopaths and sociopaths engage in; they absolutely refuse to be accountable for their part in a problem. They consider it a personal affront to think they might bear some responsibility for a relationship problem. While they do not care about or even empathize with your pain and struggle, they care way too much about their own pain and struggle. For example, they may insist you see a psychiatrist to fix yourself to fix the relationship problems. However, when the psychologists suggest that they need the counseling as well because they are part of the problem and may need to change some of their own perceptions, attitudes, and behaviors to cure and save the relationship they will refuse and be angry and offended because they aren't the one who has a weakness or illness. They don't need to be fixed. You do! And they obstinately coldly maintain that posture no matter how much it hurts their spouse. A true sociopath who is a danger to others presents with all 6 behaviors consistently.
Every boss I've had have these traits, they must make good bosses.
Interesting, i knew a guy in school who was a diagnosed sociopath but also had aspergers (i also have aspergers) he gave the best advice and actually was aware of his lack of empathy and he would actually tell people who knew him to be aware of his lack of empathy. Infact i still follow some of his advice in dealing with things like rejection, guilt, grief and anger. One of his lines i still use is "there is a thin line between a thick line and no line at all" for him this was to remind himself that some of the things he does will cross the line. But for me i apply it to almost anything. He was one of the only sociopaths ive met who actually used his manipulation skills to help people so they didnt go through what he did. He used to say that his awareness of his issues gave him the ability to understand why people felt the way they do even if he doesn't essentially get the feelings himself
He probably did more things to people than he told you.
@@davecullins1606 How about you quit the witch-hunting, it only makes you look bad.
Sounds like a completely made up story.
@@cdogthehedgehog6923 literally how
@@gaminikokawalage7124 Just sounds like a self insert passage from a fan fiction.
I lived with a sociopath. Worst era of my life. I didn't know what a sociopath was until now. Thanks for the lesson.
I had a Brother as Sociopath But We got in Fist fight in 2019 were I came in Top.
After that I started to stay away from him he is envy and jealous of me.
You'll likely meet more. Maybe you'll be better prepared?
Probably just didn’t try to understand them, making it worse on yourself 🤷♂️
@@youngjacuzzi3676 tf lol
I didn't know either .
I don't pretend to like that I have been duped
This video describes my brother-in-law 100%. What a trail of destruction he has created in our family. If you observe sociopaths long enough, you'll start to observe strange behavior patterns, almost as if they're icy cold robots with no choice but to follow a certain programming. At heart, everything they do is centered around CONTROL.
Same with my brother.
Do they resemble narcissists? Specifically, people with NPD? I’m still demystifying a relationship that ended years and years ago with someone I suspected to have NPD. Until I saw this video and your comment. Your BIL shares familiar traits with my ex-relationship. Cold, just cold, and no emotions or empathy, except for a very explosive and reactive anger. And always needing and wanting to exert control over everyone and everything. The anger shows up when someone does something outside their rigid script of accepted behaviours. The person comes off as controlling, cold, and manipulative. Hmmm, maybe my own assumption about NPD was indeed wrong.
@@dylandonaghue6750 Sociopathy is a more extreme, more dangerous form of narcissism. Narcissism is basically, “The world revolves around me. Aren’t I wonderful? Give me attention! Worship me!” Narcissism is therefore essentially very childish and immature. But sociopathy takes self-centeredness much much further, and adds a twist: “Because the world revolves around me AND because I have no compassion for other people, AND because I have absolutely no sense of remorse, I will use and control you.’’ In short, I find narcissists merely annoying and exasperating whereas I find sociopaths destructive and potentially quite dangerous. I should add I am a layman. These are personal observations and reflections based on bitter experience.
@@todesque Btw, you are right that sociopathy is more dangerous to society in general. On fact, the narcisisst tends to be abusive to loved ones, but not society at large. As I said, they base their image on society's perception of them as a great person, so they cannot afford to have their adoring public hate them. That's often why when there are marital breakups or accusations of abuse, those outside the relationship are usually in disbelief that the narcisssist is the one who did anything wrong. That also illustrates the particular way in which they're manipulative.
@@todesque Yeah and IMO this video does not describe sociopathy, it describes psychopathy. Sociopaths can't function properly in society, they can't fake a normal life like psychopaths do, they're very easy to recognize because they can't control their reactions like psycopaths do. A sociopath will lose his cool over simple things, they usually have anger issues, problems with the law, problems with rules..all these first impressions, sociopath stare, this is all BS, sociopaths can't fake those things, you'll notice a sociopath as soon as you see one because they're NOT organized, they're loud, they're reckless and they look dangerous right off the bat.
My former boss was definitely a sociopath. At first he seemed great and was going around asking about everyone and what the needed. What ended up happening is none of the needs or concerns were met but he remember everything and used it against people to get what he wanted.
Sounds like a Machiavellian, they actively look for information about people and then use it to manipulate them when beneficial
@@petit.ch0u. What's funny about that is he definitely knew about The Prince.
He sounds more like a narcissist.
@Sincere how lol? That guy walked in with a kitchen sink. Sociopaths typically act in deception.
@@straykittsco.950 sociopath is under the umbrella of nassisitic anti social disorder. Of course he seemed like one, I only gave you a tiny snippet of his behaviors. I didn't feel the need to mention he exhibited every behavior on this list, seemed redundant.
"If you hear a man saying 'why are you so upset' often, you may be dating a sociopath."
- All women on Earth: *noted*
Haha! Women are more about showing emotions Than men to the surface. It's not weird that men get confused about it 😂
Or they are dating a woman on the spectrum that still gets childishly overemotional about everything....especially if she is a narcissistic sociopath. Holding grudges, easily offended, screaming and yelling, overly needy. He must bend over backward to make her happy and make sure she is constantly his focus of attention.
And men can be the same.
They are exhausting and finally breaking away is peace and freedom
@@kellibodony1077 Uuu, someone just had a bad break-up XD
@@zalybrainlessgenius503 I would say it seems like a rather good break up.
Lol, I love it.
thank you for this video. I have a neighbor who is a siciopath and tried to lure me into a shipping container to " help" him move some item. I told him " ABSOLUTLEY NOT". He then got very angry and swore and cursed at me. Later on he kept insisting to come over to my home and kept asking if i needed help/ I knew he has ill intent and finally had to text him to never call me again or i would report him to the police. I am gratful for these videos to help reconfirm my intuition and gut feelings .
That is very scary! A shipping container you say. Well your instinct served you very well!
The fact he mad at you after you refused to help him proves youre right.
The fact he got mad at you for refusing proves it stay away from him her a restraining order asap !
This is the opening plot to silence of the lambs. Ted Bundy also lured people to helping him by pretending he had a broken arm or whatever. Some years ago, when I was a homeless, a guy we all knew at a shelter had a ryder truck and said one or two of us were welcome to sleep in the back. We noped out of that guy's life. There was a rumor that he was caught downloading some unmentionable porn on his laptop. This was like 15 years ago, I've forgotten some details.
Wow, more like sociopath murderer. Stay away from him get extra security for your home.
A sociopath might tell you a story about something they did, but say it was someone else just to see your reaction. They get to know you inside and out to better manipulate you. I was with one for 10 years.
that dysocative disorder not psycopathy
That's the reason I don't trust anyone
My ex used to do this! He told me about his friend who cheated on his girlfriend and was asking if he should still be friends with him and whether I think he still has a chance with his girlfriend. Little did I know he was cheating on me 😅
Hello can you tell me this girl I go on a date with is sociopath. She lie to people that know me that she step on my toe and want my contact to apologize but in reality I never met her before. She lie about someone randomly took a picture of her and told me to make me protect her. When the date was over and I told her I dont want to continue. she flip a switch on me and act very emotionally even a death threat. after that she lie to her my and my friend that I wouldn't let her get her stuff in my room but she never been in my room before. I block her on all social now
My last employer was like this. Asking questions to gain "insider info", also telling story after story after _story_ about how wonderful he is and all his "good deeds" which made me feel pressured to say what a "nice guy" he was but THEN he'd brush off my compliments and say "I didn't tell you that to get a pay on my back 🤪"
Yeah.
*RIGHT.*
That guy talked more about himself than anyone I've ever met! 😂😂😂😂😂 and he also would carelessly insult his 3 daughters and his wife!
His sweet wife's mother was really sick and he actually said to me that he thought she'd "kick the bucket" any day now. 😳🤯🤯🤯
So glad to be out of that position.
These types are exhausting. He saw me and my people pleasing and codependency issues coming a mile away. 🤦🏻♀️
That too good to be true is the gut feeling. Even people who don’t understand a lot about behaviour I find can still pick up on things subconsciously
Facts
Your gut feeling will still be initially repelled by a lot of these types of people. You’ll be a little weirded out by them or notice something slightly off about them on first impression. It isn’t until they begin charming you with their words that you start to relax around them. You’ll then trust them even though your initial gut reaction was that this person is a little creepy.
That’s been my experience, anyway!
@L7 evil twin, we've all read Romans 9 and seen Star Wars by now
@@MAYBEE90 that reminds me exactly of season 2 of You. Delilah gets a creepy vibe from Joe and she's 100% correct but then she ends up trusting him anyway
“Be disciplined about what you respond and react to. Not everyone or everything deserves your time, energy, and attention. Stay in your light.”
I have fewer than 1 friend in the World. That's right. Everybody disses me for making bad videos. I think they are perfect though. Who is right? My dissers or me? Which side are you on, dear ice
@@AxxLAfriku ^shameless pity ploy to get people to view his channel. Pathetic.
@@AxxLAfriku I am on that island which has flag that says "IDC".
Absolute.
@@AxxLAfriku giga-cringe
All of these signs are also signs of addiction. I know about 4 people who were diagnosed as a sociopath but really weren’t. They struggled with addiction which caused them to manipulate their way to get what they want, lie to preserve themselves(and usually become good at lying), and lack of empathy because you don’t care about anything nearly as much as you want to escape through drugs and alcohol.
On personality disorders (PD) and addiction: "The overall prevalence of PD ranges from 10% to 14.8% in the normal population and from 34.8% to 73.0% in patients treated for addictions, with a median of 56.5%"
I assure you that drugs and alcohol can have very little significance with some Sociopath or Narc staring at an intended victim from my experience.
ASPD is also highly correlated to substance abuse disorders.
@@gokurocks9 Yep, seems like It is the way people with ASPD and addict both want things. And they do not give up getting those things. Then you get a similar behaviour so it almost have the same side effects of the diseases, let alone if you already have ASPD and get addicted. Makes it really hard to decide to stop and keep being sober for other people i have to say...
I have suspected (and still do) that these traits arise from addiction and are then passed on through genes.
This confirms what I have learned: don't trust people, and be skeptical of anyone who doesn't clearly have issues.
@FeathersMcgraw I am being a bit hyperbolic, but life is dangerous when you are around the wrong people.
In my experience, Sociopaths frequently only show the anger to people they have power over or behind closed doors, but not out in the open.
I have a brother-in-law who most people outside the family think that he is an absolutely wonderful man so kind and generous to them but let him get home with his family and it's a totally different story he is mean to them and his children do not like him at all and my sister won't leave him because she's afraid of him.
@@brendasimmons9045 yes! I can well believe this. I say this as someone who while not a sociopath has some tendencies in that direction and more so in the past, but who also has a lot of unstable empathy which I am struggling to improve. I have a lot of regrets over past behavior due to this, and It's something that runs in my family. It's important to realize that even full on sociopaths and narcissists have a lot of trouble with empathy, and may have little, but that doesn't mean they don't have any. They are on the extreme end of a spectrum, which has no clear sharp line. It's easy to label someone as something but the reality is more complex. Many people will have some strong sociopathic tendencies without being full sociopaths, often still having strong but variable empathy but frequently struggling plenty to show it or act accordingly.
@@brendasimmons9045 I noticed this in the workplace more than anywhere else. I am in high level management and everywhere I work there is one or two people causing problems for the entire company by scheming to gain power and influence, subtlety doing things to make other management look bad, and acting like the nicest boy next door who is the number one company team player in front of exec management, and then in private meetings yells and bullies and has their employees all scared to get fired. The crazy thing is that most people don’t notice and actually believe the nice guy routine and believe the act instead of the results of the actions of these people. I’ve seen it at every company I’ve worked for. I can imagine it’s the same in government.
Bingo !!!!
@@dezertson2011
You’ve got it right 👌
Is sad but true
Sociopaths come on a spectrum, not everyone is creepy, most are more "normal" than you'd think from watching films. They just have problems with certain human emotions or empathy.
Thank you bc they just make it seems we all crazy
They don't "just" have problems with certain human emotions. They have persistent patterns of violating the rights of others and committing crime. These are criterion you must meet for a diagnosis. You must have caused harm or committed a crime to receive a diagnosis of aspd.
@@e_i_e_i_bro That's not true. Those cases are just the most prevalent, because the average person doesn't need a psychiatric diagnoses for day to day living. Criminals may be forced to receive a diagnoses, while many people who have ASPD will never know or be discovered to have it by others.
@@Bancheis Those cases are prevalent because you need a history of crime or harm to receive a diagnosis.
DSM5:
"There is a *pervasive pattern* of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring since age 15 years.
1. failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
2. deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
3. impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
4. irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults
5. reckless disregard for safety of self or others
6. consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations
7. lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.
B. The individual is at least age 18 years.
C. There is evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years.
D. The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or a manic episode."
@@e_i_e_i_bro So the ones that get caught giving in to their sociopathic tendencies are the ones getting diagnosed. got it.
Being a drug addict and dealing with the constant need to lie and cover up your actions can help a person develop some of these sociopathic traits.
My foolproof plan is to treat everybody with suspicion, and to say "no" when someone outside of my inner circle needs a favor. It's OK to come off as cold or rude. It will save your life.
I concure
Good strategy
good way to protect yourself
I’m extremely cold if you’re outside my circle of trust. And once you leave that circle, you’re iced too.
Went to a wedding and stranger offered me a sweet pudding- I didn't accept it- because my health is important to me-
Watching this video to see if your friend is a sociopath ❌
Watching this video to see if you are a sociopath ✅
This is why I moved and told no one. 42 years is enough. Then I met my ex wife while healing from a hip surgery. She became abusive and I was always falling for these lies because she was all I had. I’m 2.5 years sociopath free and I am happier than I ever thought I could be.
Try dating men.
The signs were there ,you were not a victim !
I swear the hardest thing for me to quit is people!
What@@EternalflameC.L.
I can understand why some ppl after traumatic experiences and a subsequent lack of empathy from others after the experience can make you numb to other ppl’s suffering as well.
i feel like "no ones ever felt bad for me why would i feel bad for them"
Once you feel enough emotional pain your brain does anything to make it stop even numbing your mind to it all
Yeah PTSD, especially Complex PTSD is mistaken for sociopathy.
Yeah, can confirm as someone with CPTSD, especially being raised by two narcissists. I'm 30 and only recently got to the point of being able to effectively empathize with those around me and use that empathy effectively to build them up. And it wasn't even because I didn't want to when I was younger; I was too numb to be bitter or stingy necessarily. I even TRIED all the time to be nice, to help others, to protect them. Though it was probably more an extension of my self-preservation, to make sure people wouldn't hurt me, than true care for them. Or perhaps a mix of the two?
Rather, I had never been taught things like kindness (only manners and obedience), which is something you learn by receiving it when you're little. I was barely even aware of it as a concept, not accurately anyway, let alone what it looked like or how to put it into my actions. I was fumbling in the dark without knowing what light even is. So being "kind" never really worked how I wanted it to, and I was too awkward to be charming, so I ended up with even less socialization and affection than I needed, plus more abuse.
It's taken me a very, very long time to first just drag myself out of that isolated, lonely pit and then to teach myself how to be a person and function in such a blindingly bright, alien-to-me world. While also cutting out all the awful ideas and tendencies my parents tried to cultivate in me. This channel has honestly helped such a tremendous amount in pointing out things that most find obvious, and how to do better. I am seriously grateful.
@@KooblyK I can only understand empathy when someone gives me direct words of condolences, then I can reciprocate back. If I don't know how someone's pain or struggle feels, I can't feel real empathy necessarily but realize that the person is distressed and needs condoling, then again, this could be normal, I've never analyzed this in depth.
These examples are also indicative of a person that has a long term drug and/or alcohol addiction. I had a lot of addictions and I noticed the longer I was addicted the less I cared about others or their misfortunes, it was all about me. I'm normally a very empathic person, to a fault actually, but I definitely think substance abuse can rid u of normal emotions.
It’s true, I have observed that, too.
Quite right. But how AWFUL you feel when you outgrow that addictiveness and look back on some the stuff you have done - your remorse and guilt certainly show you are NOT actually a sociopath.!!
very good point. i knew a girl like this, her mind and emotions were just wasted by drugs. there is kind of a difference way it presents but still, scary coldness.
Good for you for recognizing and taking responsibility. A true sociopath can't take responsibility or be empathetic. Good luck to you.
Yup. That is because psychopaths are also motivated by one single obsession. Similar to addiction but way worse. If you want to imagine how manipulative a psychopath is, just imagine the worst drug addicted person times like 100. That is how dangerous they are. Everyone has a run in with a few during their lifetime, they say we all are connected through 4 people, meaning someone you know met someone you know met blah blah everyone on earth. So you will run into them. And you will know when you do because all of a sudden, no matter how strong of a person you are, you will find yourself feeling like you are 1 inch tall. Think back to a time when you felt like that, you will remember someone...
The one test I always pull with strangers is the no test. The thing is nothing makes certain groups of people play their hand faster than being told no, then immediately following it up with uninviting body language. The moment they know they can't wear you down, the mask starts slipping.
I've found that some tend to talk like they have too much empathy, when in fact they are very good manipulators. I'm wary of those that become ''quick friends'' as they usually want something from you. I had an ex-friend that did both of these things and 'love bombed' people and then contrived an argument to push them away or just turned cold when they were of no further use. After it happened to me, I became aware of her doing it to others.
i know. beware of the overly "nice" person. not a good sign.
One of the wisest thinks my mom ever told me was "beware of someone who says 'I love you' way to soon". The same applies to any kind of indearment or familiarity and those simple words have saved my butt by keeping me away from some toxic people.
This sounds like one of my seniors in college.. she not only backstabbed me but then later maligned me when I tried to stand up for myself
I think people avoid me because I come across as "too nice" but it's people pleasing from CSA and I can't stop. It's not just overly smiling and being friendly it's coming on waaay too strong :/ I'm tryna tone it down in therapy tho haha
@@notthingofnote I was like that too but I'm cured now. My give a damn was sergically removed and now I'm free to be the A hole I've always wanted to be🤣👍
I used to be friends with someone that exhibited every one of these characteristics. He was definitely one of the ones with bad intentions and dealing with him was awful. And once they realize they don’t have you in their corner anymore that’s when things start getting really ugly
@Hueclouds Yes. Not so much overly angry but extremely malicious. For example he put me in a position where I could’ve possibly been responsible for someone’s death/suicide. And he would go and try to turn me against my friends by telling lies between us
Then its time to finish them.
It is a terrible thing to go through a toxic sociopathic friendship.
I had a friend since first grade, and it took me 30 years to realize this.
He caused so much damage, with bad advice and toxic comments.
Back then there was very little information on this topic.
Same here last time I saw him he sold cocaine to my mother that threatened to shoot then fiancé.
Same dude, I don't know if he's a sociopath, however he is a the most Grandiose "I'm always right" manipulative Narc I've ever met. If you don't always agree with him, or call him out in the slightest he'll do anything to make you look or sound wrong, shift blame, attack you verbally, no rules, whatever it takes. Super toxic dude... Adios buddio
I feel this pain. My life turned better after realizing and ending this friendship. Being introvert and shy makes them look like heroes for shy people
@@Frightful_Flan Holy crap man!
@@Michael-qh1ip it always ends like that with those people it is never graceful.
I was greatly wounded by a person whom I later discovered was a narcissist. After watching this video, he may actually be a sociopath. There are overlaps between the two. Thanks for this info.
As someone who is basically the opposite I had to teach myself that it is actually important to be disingenuous and manipulate people in small ways just to guard yourself from people who would otherwise take advantage of your kindness and empathy. People are a weird.
Years ago an intelligent psychopath - a handsome charming young man and quite educated about art became friends with a whole crowd of art collectors, gallery owners, collectors and their rich friends in New Mexico. Over three years he got a reputation of taking art work around on consignment to show to clients. Also, was a fixture at parties, dated heavily, even friendly enough with some families to babysit their kids. One night he vanished into thin air with half a million in indian relics, art, money he was paid for sales etc. etc. Vanished. No one who knew him will ever get over it.
Well was it investigated? Need more info!
@@elizabethpiccolo5534 forty years ago - I have no idea. I was living Santa Fe and experienced the shock of those cheated, moved away and never found out.
Vanishing in thin air , is the mastery they move a lot
@@komalkoul6486 True, they move a lot. Usually running from the torches and pitchforks!
Will ever get over it lmfao sit down
I have encountered two sociopaths in my life time. They both had the stare, this menacing, intense, way too long, trying-to-intimidate-you stare, they told WILD stories about how badass and threatening they were (being chased by cop cars and a helicopter down the highway for fleeing a drug control scene, or having cut marks all over their bodies when being delivered into child psychiatric institutes, or enjoying scaring their mom's new boyfriend by standing beside their bed and rubbing a knife against their own cheeks repeatedly as they woke up, or levering someone's knee cap out of their socket with a knife), they thought they could take on anyone, they had no empathy, they had no clue for how inappropriately violent the things they told were, they had no morals, the others were always to blame (a sociopath always sees himself/herself as the victim and everything gruesome they do is therefore justified), one of them was superficially charming,they were both manipulative (always trying to win you over to their side), they tried to make you feel sorry for them, they would be indifferent to breaking your stuff and feel no remorse, they would offer you things you said you would like to have, they would exert control over you in a weird way (like ignoring you when you say you need to be going and you end up staying much longer than you want, accompanying you when you want to go alone, making you agree with them when you don't, and all on a weird subconscious level meaning it wasn't like they would actively block the door or anything, it subconsciously felt more like you couldn't match their aura and lost a fight in a way, and you stay there and you realize "*somehow* I cannot shake off from this person when I want to go and I end up staying, *somehow* they are in charge, but you can't put your finger on what it is that makes you stay), they want to provoke an emotional reaction out of you (often shock or admiration for how ruthless and bold they were in their story), their stories have plot holes if you listen REALLY REALLY carefully.
Both of them were fascinated by me. Both of them wanted to be friends.
The creepy thing is they actually do crave human interaction and love (in the form of admiration and obedience though), and they seemed to like me alot. Probably due to the fact that I can be pretty dull and emotionally numb too. I too have experienced trauma that made me almost completely lack empathy in my youth and I'm not like most other people. I'm not easily shocked or threatened or intimidated by these stories. But I'm also a person who isn't out to pick a fight and I really try to understand everyone. I was fascinated by them and wanted to really understand them on a deep level. And they probably liked that. The fact someone doesn't reject you for telling these stories is much likely a rare occurrence to them. And maybe they thought "here's someone who would finally actually *GET* me". I approached them differently than all the other people around me did.
Unfortunately for them, (and very fortunately for me probably) they only briefly met and interacted with me over the time of a couple off weeks before they dropped out of school or were fired from my workplace respectively. So I didn't have to interact with them on a long term basis. But the things they told me (some of them in confidence, though it was probably just manipulative false confidence to gain my trust) were pretty personal. One of them told me life had no outlook for himself, he knew he'd end up in prison sooner or later (age 20 at that time), the other actually started to let his real character shine through (make dorky jokes or let it show a little when something someone else did actually hurt his feelings in a way).
These are people who experience trauma (abuse, mobbing, insecurity, hostility, hospitality, violence, among other things) which makes them believe society or humanity are actually bad. They basically have the inherent believe that all people are evil and out to hurt them and humankind has wronged them. Sometimes it's understandable. But that shouldn't let you make the mistake of feeling sorry for them or justifying their actions in your own head. They are dangerous. They see people as objects. They don't have any respect for you, your will, your physical or mental well-being. And while they don't usually *intentionally* want to hurt you (unless you are out to mess with them and openly provoke them or seek conflict) they don't really care whether you get hurt in the process of them getting what they want. To them you getting physically or emotionally scarred in that process is like to us if we said "whoops, the bed broke because we jumped on it too hard. But hey, it's just furniture, right? And it's not even *my* bed, so why should I care?"
Don't befriend sociopaths. You socially and emotionally gain nothing from it. You just highly increase your risk for emotional and psychological (and sometimes also physical) pain.
Usually I just scroll through long comments but this one ..I didn’t. I’m surprised this comment only has 2 likes (now 3). It deserves more! I like your explanations about your experiences, makes me realize the deeper stuff.
@@annmoreign thank you, much appreciated :)
Thank you!
Damn, you are a wind bag!!
Wow thats a really good insight.
My neighbor is a sociopath and is the worse person I've ever met. Lies, steals, drug use, fights, 2 time ex-con, and thats just the start.
There's one thing I've noticed about a few folks I know for a fact are sociopaths. When ever they tell a story (whether it's true or a lie/ I'm assuming they were all half truths at best) they were always either 1 the victim or the hero of the story.
Sometimes theres a third category. When you know you didnt come out on top, so you gotta mail them a dead fish inside a nice pair of sneakers.
So true.
Is this to say that they only told stories about themselves?
I've found that most people only remember the details of stories in which they were either heroes or victims.
@@GeekTalkwithMerg Have you ever noticed self obsessed people usually only hand out anecdotes that involve themselves.
Christian Bale said in an interview that he based his character on Tom Cruise...
Yup. And once you see it, you can't unsee it. It's all about the combo of effusive charisma and that dead eyed stare.
When Risky Business director Paul Brickman was introduced to Tom Cruise during casting and shook his hand, he related recoiling inwardly with the thought “This guy is a sociopath.” As we know, TC got the role, but it likely was not a comfortable shoot for his director.
I think Christian Bale could have just been himself to be the character
Wow, makes sense, thx.
Yeah you find these trends in folk in cults .toms in a cult .
Two of my really good friends passed away. I was distraught. They said “why are you so upset, people die, get over it” yikesssssssss
Yeah people that say things like that are sociopaths and lack empathy
Hhhmmph - how sad that being right makes one mentally ill.
@@werewolf1336how about you both see a doctor then :)
I'd say this too. I shut down most emptions to avoid sui1dal depression
Yep! They’re empty creatures.
I read an article about this recently, sociapaths and psychopaths actually have a big advantage in politics, including corporate politics, so are very common in political and corporate leadership.
So a person who went through Charisma on Command and has learned to be charming will give off the same vibe as a sociopath... Hmm...
Exactly
The dude is cluing us into the fact that he's the manipulator, here. He said this:
_"Sociopaths have a strong internal urge to manipulate you."_
So, the only thing holding him back from being monstrous is that his emotions make him feel regret for doing so. If he didn't have a strong emotional connection with others, he would try to control them.
And you want to talk advice from _this_ guy? He has a child's perspective on this matter.
there are whole books about it of course, one of the best (and quickest reads) is called "The sociopath next door" by Martha Stout. She's a clinical psychologist and dealt with many sociopaths, she breaks it down fast into what seperates "them" (she estimates 1 in 20 people is a sociopath) from the rest of us. The primary revealing trait, she says is called "Pity ploy". They invariably result to trying to elicit pity when they are in any sourt of trouble.
@@robertmaybeth3434 I see what she saying. Do you think people learn to do that as little kids? You know, when they get mama to cave by acting wounded and it becomes ingrained.
@@semperfiarcher the overwhelming impression it is something someone is generally born with (or without). Depending on how the person is raised and what happens to them, often determines how bad a sociopath they will be. Dennis Raeder, BTK serial killer, was born this way, although he admitted he was dropped on his head as a baby (or so he was told - oddly this can sometimes be a factor).
We are called to be discerning spirits. It is impossible to fake genuine love, real concern, and impeccable truth -- no matter how brilliant a sociopathic actor you are! I don't listen to what people say, for words are meaningless. I watch what people do! Actions speak much louder than words!
People should learn to use their intuition more! When I face a problematic situation nowadays, I calm my mind and let the distractions flow away just like in meditation. They teach this method in the military nowadays! In the army you learn that its better to act even if you make the wrong move, compared to be passive and not take any decision and that's were intuition comes in.
True….watch them actions
Exactly, half of communication is nonverbal. People show you who they are.
^ ^ this !! listen to what they say then OVER TIME watch what they DO!! their words should match up with their actions.. !! and I dont mean they take and extra scoop of ice cream or hav a gossip session about the creepy guy you say bothers you.. but OVER TIME.. it will reveal itself! do they hav inconsistencies almost ALL the time.. ? can you trust them to tell you the Truth? what about when you're not there..? Trust this type of discipline.. and watch if they are Consistent!
@@BEAUTYnIQ Calm down sister. Remember that God loves you completely. Do not allow demons to take that away from you.
Millon referred to sociopaths as "independent" personalities. As such they are often very successful in organizations and business environments where their ability to react situationally and do whatever it takes to achieve their aims gives them a competitive edge. They can throw you under the bus and never skip a beat. The other thing I would add is that sociopaths never take responsibility for bad outcomes.
They will take responsibility if the benifet of being seen as accountable and honest outweighs the penalty. It, too, is a calculated manipulation.
@@Agent_006.9 yes , one is our President at this time … several others but won’t name names
Sounds like Donald Trump
@@minnie.-.l Biden … who funds the CCP ..
It's true if i dedicate myself to a specific goal I will stop at nothing to reach it. On the same note, If I do end up failing at reaching that goal, the following spiral can be dangerous. For instance, I did everything I could to get into the army coming out of highschool. I made it. Basic Training, AIT, Bada bing bada boom right into a honorable medical discharge involving a corneal ecstasia in my left eye. Rip. It cost me my relationship at the time cause i became exceptionally distant and no longer was interested in most going on around me. The boredom was unbearable. It took me 2 years to snap out of that spiral and by then I was homeless, no job, living off of ebt and sleeping under bridges. lol
Zero strong urge to manipulate. Its just part of life. We just do what we have to to survive.
I was friends with a sociopath. It went from occasionally giving her a ride to chauffeuring her around daily all day long to loaning her money to using payday loans to get her money to finally losing my home and almost losing my husband. She pulled a year-long con on me. She’d borrow money and pay it back, until finally she owed me a very large amount and just spent the payback money instead of paying me back, all the while giving me excuses as to why the money wasn’t available yet. The final clue was when we were sitting in my car and I was bawling as I a told her how I was going to lose my house and my husband was going to leave me. She just sat there texting on her phone. I finally said, “Could you at least give me a hug and tell me it’s going to be okay?” She looked at me like I was crazy. When I finally wised up and told her no to her next ask, she was absolutely gobsmacked that I would deny her. Even after I broke off our friendship, she used me as an excuse to other people. She’d give out my phone number and address and tell people I had the money she owed them.
It's like, they (sociopaths) ONLY want you around them if your doing something for them, they have to use you to feel anything for you, it's sad, they are evil, horrible people.
Classic Borderline behaviour this as well. They always start with the small favours, next thing you know you've basically been bullied into being a servant, and they're using THEIR DEBT TO YOU as a carrot on a stick to keep you around and compliant. That's right, BPDs and ASPDs will be in debt to you, but are so egotistical, they view that simply as a means to make you work for them instead.
@Barbara Bavier
You almost lost your house? Were you in love with this woman or something? Something's missing here, you're not telling the whole story.
Barbara- VERY sorry that you fell for her Trap- I also have lent money in the past- but after winning a very large sum of money- we have decided to keep away from those people and help others in need. YOU ARE POWERFUL Force that EVER EXISTED NOW- n just watchout for that horrid person. This is 1 of the reasons I don't invite people- first time we WON money - people trying to steal stuff from my handbag- will punch people if that happens again.
What happened with your husband???? Where is he?
My ex spouse had “the face” which she would use to intimidate me or secretly punish me in public with the fear of what would happen when we got home. She used to say she loved “seedy” places. Places most people would feel as creepy or uncomfortable. She even had the psycho stare as a toddler in pictures. Creepy AF
Did she blink when she was working the strap on or was it a longgggggg cold stare?
I can see why you were attracted to her...
LMAO
Damn.
@PPG Inappropriate comment; perhaps you are a sociopath, too.
I can spot a manipulator from miles away. I laugh at how they “think “ through that smirk on their face like they are being devious 😂 Go with your gut and vibes with people it will never steer you wrong .
Have you really seen people running around with an evil or devious smirk?
yea, i'm pretty good at it too. although i think i've maybe gone too far because i don't really trust anyone anymore.
You will one day run into a real manipulator and not even see it coming.
most of them worked in malls from around 2003 to 2005 asking people if they could rub lotion on their dry hands to get them to buy their product
You would also need to have a good calibrated gut and vibes, so check that first. It's not that easy.
I was speaking with my therapist about some of my experiences with my mother and her behaviors. I was saying that I am not sure what her diagnosis would be but I was interrupted by my therapist right then that it doesn’t matter what diagnosis, it comes down to the fact that she is not a good person. And as part of my therapy, I need to protect myself from this and identify the behaviors and traits before I get baited into situations I’m too deep to get myself out of. Because it has affected me in more ways than just my interactions with just her.
I have known a few Sociopaths. They did not come across as cold or manipulative because they had learned how to mask.
One was more introverted and quiet, the other was an extroverted Ex-cheerleader. They both seemed like happy confident relaxed people due to a lack of guilt/remorse or concern.
It was only after knowing them for awhile that they accidentally told on themselves.
Whether someone is a Sociopath, or not, the only way to protect yourself is to have strong boundaries.
yes, it is really hard to tell right away. although sometimes you can get vibes. i've learned a lot over the years. one big red flag is if they only talk about themselves and show little to no interest to you or your life. or if they do at first but quickly lose interest. they also are really poorly emotionally regulated. their emotional reactions are really off or seemed forced. that's another red flag. they had trouble faking that in an authentic way.
This is spot on with one of my brothers and my ex GF. They in general seemed to lack Empathy and their responses often were very cold, especially when they were manipulative towards me or others .. interestingly, I could spot their manipulation pretty easily most times but some of them would really catch me by surprise. It's chilling how cold and emotionless these people are at the core and will do anything to achieve what they think is best for them.
They always right and you're ideas are never right, they can't even see your idea as logical, that's what makes them so obvious because the simple answer to them will make no sense and they will often lie to make your idea seem illogical.
They are properly undiagnosed autistic....
@@KactusKM Ywhahhaaywha hahaha haha.
My brother as well. Nut job
I want to know how empathy is turned off in these people? Like it has been weaponized as if a frigid emotionless clone role model was broadcast into the minds of unsuspecting people.
This video has taught me a great respect for the actors who have been portraying sociopaths and psychopaths all this time!
Plot twist. They weren’t acting.
@@thatsamazin- Fax, thus the suicides
We are ALL ACTORS!!!!! Just either for Good or Evil!!!!!!:/:/
Respect? They are natural born narcissists!
@@thatsamazin- right definitely not acting
I have a sibling who is a sociopath and I haven’t talked to that person in ten years, It blew my mind that sociopaths with there lies could pass a lie detector!
After a relationship with a sociopath narcissist, I recall that they were constantly making a show of being empathetic. It extended to everyone and everything - except, you guessed it, me. If someone is inflicting emotional pain on you constantly, don't bother to listen to their empathy stories. It's all a smokescreen for what goes on beneath.
Damn I've really done this before. I never tried manipulating people and I didn't even realize I was doing it. I just said things to try and get people to like me.
@@JonnyBetz Did you exclude your significant other or any loved ones from that special treatment of flattery and chameleon-ing? Some people just do what you're talking about, because they try to keep the peace and they have a natural inclination toward being able to fit in and get along with others.
Reflect on your conscience and think back to the ways you may have harmed people in the past or in a current situation. Did you do so because you were ignorant/unaware of how it would affect people? Or do you not feel bad about it?
Think about how you would feel, if someone- who provides you with absolutely nothing except love- if that person were to get hurt (whether physically, emotionally, or otherwise). How would you feel? Also, put yourself in their shoes and imagine the feelings they may experience.
But, whatever you conclude, remember: it's a spectrum, and you have the option to exercise good morals or to live by a set of humane rules. I've seen the interview of a sociopath in the video, and he goes by a set of rules. He doesn't harm people, and he tries to stay aware and be held accountable for his actions and intentions.
very true had the same experience
so having or having no empathy is a sociopath. Everyone is sociopathic.
Agreed. I live in a complex with a narcissistic sociopath. She will destroy you and manipulated several other tenants to intimidate, victimise myself and other tenants to the point that their kids developed problems.
Big shoutout to the WONDERFUL acting talent used in this video. Some of the best on this planet!
I always have to learn the hard way. It's amazing how cute, sweet, and innocent a sociopath can be initially. When the veil was lifted i was disgusted. These people can especially cause you trouble when those who don't know what you know come to her rescue from you.
OMG yeeeees!!! And gaslight you.
I have known some sociopaths and psychopaths. Sociopaths are a spectrum but I believe there is a point that has to be crossed before a person can be classified as a sociopath. 1 person in 30 may have anti-social behaviors but I understand it to be 1 in 100 is a sociopath.
The lengths at which they will go to in order to manipulate people to get what they want, the lack of real loyalty, the ease at which they will lie and the complete lack of guilt is something that normal people are rarely prepared for.
I'm pretty anti-social and probably on the autistic spectrum. I have empathy, but I can also be cold and detached and have that stare. However, I've been around enough narcissists in my life to recognize the difference between the type of person who will validate your feelings and invalidate them. That's the main red flag for me. You have to learn these traits to at least avoid their games.
I am on the autistic spectrum and raised by narcissists. Because of their way of communicating to me, I have had doubts about myself actually being a narcissist. That is a red flag for them and a white flag for me, because narcissists lack selfreflection. They feed you with projections, defend with deflections, and tend to take over and distort the narrative of the life of someone else
On a lighter note I'm def narcissist delusional at times and even a bit crazy but I'm always right
if you have empathy. you don’t have ASPD
@@nasreenbari2765 Most people on the autism spectrum do have empathy, but have trouble deciphering their own feelings and emotions let alone those of others. People with narcistic personality disorders even use their empathy as a tool to aid their manipulation. Empathy is the ability to feel the emotions of another person, experiencing those emotions with another person. If you have emotions of your own, you have a certain amount of empathy, since emotions are mostly created and heavily influenced by your external environment
@@jimmy-stevenbiemans1486 I believe I responded to the wrong person/ comment. Thought I was responding to the individual so believes they’re antisocial while experiencing empathy. My response to that person is that they are not antisocial/ (or narcissistic)
I sometimes don't want to empathize with people so in depth. I also do not want anything from anyone. I do want to love people and help them. I don't want to lie to get them to like me and I like to be honest about my short comings. I guess I'm not a narcissist. So I'm thankful for that.
I'm the exact opposite. I have empathy to the point of almost being a pushover. You tell me a sob story and I'll give you money and help in any way I can. I have learned to be more cautious about this now later in life, but I had to learn the hard way. I have been put through the ringer by sociopaths and narcissists. I know I'm partially to blame for putting myself out there, but like I said I don't do it anymore.
Lmao
I'm not sure if it's a good idea to stop your natural empathy. While a few sociopath might try to exploit you, other genuinely empathetic people will recognize you and become close to you.
It's better to suffer a few rip offs rather than behaving like a sociopath yourself (not saying you're doing it, I'm just bringing it to the extreme to make a point). There's being ripped off, and then there's the opportunity cost that you're missing by not expressing your empathy.
Just get to know them longer before giving anything valuable, like money, your trust or any personal information that could be used against you. No one who has empathy themselves will ask for much right in the beginning, and will respect your boundaries.
Or are you just a sociopath attempting to manipulate us?
@@supermannnblablabla paranoid much lol
They make great bosses. I worked for one.
One thing: He was very proud of himself.
Second: I was surprised how much apparent love and favoritism he had for his daughter. They can have favorites. This was despite the fact that he totally cheated everyone else.
Huh?
They make good dictators.
My way or the high way types
A little off topic but interesting testimony.
You can see the emptiness in their eyes. Always noticed that about my sociopathic ex too.
Maybe they just been through a lot. Don't be so over dramatic... lol
@@Hingle_McCringleberry87 Yes, sometimes people are going through a lot and disconnect.
You think I can control that shytte
In my high school we had such a "strange" Paul - today I know that he was a sociopath. He made a great career in the police.
i remember telling my neighbour that my mom had died. I saw something very unsettling afterwards. This was obviously a shock to him as it was unexpected. What i did notice didn't sit right with me he covered his mouth and looked as though he smiled i will never forget that. He is now in prison for murder on the first degree of someone he was close to
Omg this gave me chills!!!
Ew
was gonna note that smiling is a nervous response some very normal people have and isnt necessarily indicative of glee in situations like that, then read the second part
So
@@hye181 girl shut up. Smiling nervously is not a normal response to learning that someone has passed away.
The truth is that if you are emotionally healthy, to a fairly high level, cleaned up your childhood traumas, etc. you don't get manipulated by narcissists and sociopaths. It just doesn't happen. You easily see through them. You don't need someone to fill your empty spaces, you don't have many. When you already feel pretty full inside, you don't need someone else to make you feel special. So you are not drawn towards or fooled by those people.
If everyone spent just a couple years addressing their childhood traumas, humanity would elevate to something we can only dream of.
Very true, however, it can take years to reach that level of maturity.
Unfortunately for some, cleaning up childhood trauma is way too much work. And god forbid they look into they're own soul and figure out the reasons why sane people want nothing to do with them, they're whole world is shattered.
@Antonio Sciara - So you’re blaming the victim. A wee bit smug, aren’t you?
@@fantasyfener I agree. Many years. No quick fix
I'm not the most empathetic, but absolutely hate lying, selling myself as something I'm not, and the thought of trying to manipulate people like they're objects in a game is deeply upsetting.
For me who comes prepared to a meeting and someone goes out of line to gain control I just override it through higher management.
I detest people that are pure cringe.
If you're worried about being a narcissist/sociopath/psychopath, theres a 95% chance you're normal.
Loving your convictions is the trick... Empathy, Honesty, Decency. Love those things about yourself... make efforts everyday to host them in your life. :)
Society manipulates people, and it is all a game, an act. People in power, corporations etc, social norms, social shaming. It's all manipulation.
Then your probably normal. I have some of these trades of a a Sociopath too but am clearly no Sociopath because most of these trades are missing. I think most people have some of these trades but only because you have one or a few off them it is no sign you would have allot or all of those trades. I am really good at lying for example but sometimes i feel guilty for it and that would not be possible if i would be a Sociopath or Psychopath or something like that (but i don't lie all the time i am only extremly good at it and sometimes use lies to get what i want but i am not lying to every person) and sometimes i have a little bit lag of empathy but it is not like i have none, it is only in some cases.
I've dated someone who was diagnosed sociopathic. She was often upset or angry, and I was mostly consoling her and trying to get her to warm up to people. After a bad falling out in another relationship, she decided to post revenge porn and lie about it. My worst and first ex
😂😂😂😂😂
Sometimes people who are awkward and nervous in social settings act like a sociopath in a few ways just trying to get through the day lol. But we lack all the bad parts and the excess.
My cousin is Autistic and he comes across awkward when someone is upset about something. Its not being he has no empathy, its because he hates seeing people sad and wants to save them by finding solutions to solve their saddness. He is learning how to just listen to thst person rather then be an unwanted hero.
My parents are at the very least narcissists, mother probably sociopathic. And the thing I wanted to comment on was staring. I know I stare at people, and I will tell you why. My parents' moods were unpredictable. I watched them carefully to tell what mood they were in. My father in particular was very, umm, combustible. He would fly into a temper. You could tell, if you watched him carefully. In fact, I think empaths can often be mistaken for a sociopath because we have the same behaviours for different reasons.
Another example: empaths may believe in conspiracy theories because they know how badly people can behave. Sociopaths also believe in them, because they are jealous of people in power, and they know how THEY would behave if they had some.
I came here to say this.
You’re just being told to think that. They’re just living the way they know how, that’s how life was back then. Don’t be a weak baby
@@islandmaaan1115 Weak babies are the kind of people who get threatened by hearing an abuse survivor's story, & come on the internet to call them names. 😂
@@islandmaaan1115 what next did caveman parrents go ooga booga and bonk stick on baby head
@@islandmaaan1115 30000 years ago
Sadly i think my daughter is one. She lies about stuff that is just unbelievable. She changes her personality around whoever shes around and once she gets what she wants she throws the person away. Im the most recent victim. She replaced me with a new *family* because they have what she wants atm. She will be crying to me in a few months im sure. She got mad because i wouldnt get upset everytime she broke up with her baby daddy and wanted to hurt herself and hand her child to me and i finally said no.
As a sociopath, I became a professional magician so I can manipulate people for money and everyone has a great time.
Smart
That's probably not the only thing that you do to them.
I find it fun to toy with sociopaths and psychopaths. They think they are manipulating me but I am extremely good at faking emotions as I studied body language.
@@kateofone as long as you react the way I want you to I don’t care if it’s faked or genuine
cringe
I have ASPD, but I have worked very hard as an adult to understand myself in order to develop a moral compass and comprehend how my behaviour affects others and why they have certain responses. I didn't used to care how I affected others and my narcissism was extreme, but the older I have gotten, the more self aware I have become. We are not all the same, it is a spectrum, and we can learn a type of empathy. I was raised by a narcissist and a sociopath, so I think I'm a product of my environment. We can grow, and develop some emotion through imitation, but I don't believe that people with ASPD should ever have children.
In my opinion, those who fight to grow empathy, and enforce it upon themselves, while honestly admitting the struggle, are often times more respectable than those who naturally have it, but choose it ignore it, or take it for granted. Thank you for caring about others with your mind, even if it is difficult with the (metaphorical) heart.
I mean they did say sociopaths are made and psycopaths are born. I think that mere explanation entails that with therapy and age sociopaths can get better but psycopaths cannot, since their brains are literally different than most since birth. Btw my dad is a narcissistic sociopath and my mom ended up divorcing him like 15 years ago. What kept me and my sister from becoming like him is our mom and the desire of not being like him.
We are who we are and we can only strive to be the best of our selves. I am in the autistic spectrum my self. So I am so sensitive to emotion and have empathy dialed up so high that I can have symptoms where I feel someone's emotion so intensely it feels like my own feelings. It also means my intuitive feelings are extremely high and accurate which often results in being manipulative becuse I understand how they feel. Ect ect everyone should live by a personal code and if we are striving to be our best and to do good then no one can ask more. You are good the way you are just keep growing and striving.
That's really cool of you! That's really cool to hear. Good for you :)
@@elizabethroa6970 the parts of the brain which differ in both psychopaths and sociopaths stop developing in the late teens. By the time a person is eligible for an ASPD diagnosis the brain is formed. There is no way for a sociopath to stop being what they are. They can learn coping mechanisms that will allow them to exist in a way that doesn't drive people away. To suggest that they can get "better" feels like there is some way of curing the way the mind has developed. Conversion therapy already went down this road. Unless you mean better at hiding their tells, which is definitely an option.
“Not all sociopaths are bad people”
This is true, try to really understand this and you’ll be better equipped at defending yourself.
You'd be surprised what a hard life of abuse, neglect, rejection, being treated like SHIH, and seeing ppl who you're better than in SO MANY WAYS get ALL the things you were denied through circumstance/skin color/socioeconomic inheritance/environment would do to a person. You'd definitely develop "the switch".💯🤔🧔🏾♂️
Against cats? Or dogs? I don't remember.
@@jackiechun5817 😭😭😭🥱
most arent, the amount of sociopaths in managers, surgeons and first responders is higher than avg. Part, because they like power and control, but also because others drop out, because they take every patient too personal and cant switch off after work.
Some people cant deal with repairing humans and loosing 2-15% of them.
no. you see when marleyans invaded my world i was dissapointed. when i see other sociopaths itll be easy to just run them over with a foot
I think acting empathy is when you are in the beginning of a relationship with a sociopath or let’s say a manipulative person .. but gaslighting and invalidating your feelings is when your relationship with them is at more advanced level where they guaranteed your presence and where there’s no need for acting anymore ..
I’ve been there :’) even though I can’t diagnose for sure if that person is a sociopath , the most characteristic feature to me was lying.. that left me between believing them or not (at first) because they were too intense and too much
As a socially-awkward, highly empathetic person, I always TRY to hold eye contact so I dont come off as shy or timid. But also I blink a lot and my one eye drifts so I'm focused on that not happening. I wonder how many people I've creeped out over the years.
I don’t think you creeped out people. Most people understand that there are people who can feel awkward holding eye contact. If someone has been “creeped out” then you don’t want to have them in your life anyway. They obviously have no understanding of others and no empathy
@@Wanderlust246 good point!
Dont worry about them, Lauren. People are the sewer scum of the Earth's city. They would look for any imperfection, if its not holding the eye contact long enough, then its holding it too long. If its not a crumb on your mustache, then its your clothes being too perfect. People are lower than grub-worms, God made your drifty eye that way, and if they dont like it, then just let it drift over to somewhere else, God bless.
I'm sorry that i found your last sentence funny. I am also socially awkward and highly empathetic. I also find it to feel unnatural to hold eye contact for too long.
It reminds me of how I am in job interviews. I am so focused on my eye contact, and i can't wait for the interviewer to look away bc my eyes start to water or burn or feel dry (basically it just physically feels uncomfortable after too long...even with blinking). So I thought about that cuz i always wonder if the person interviewing me can tell I'm being weird lol!
If you have trouble maintaining eye contact, focus on the nose as you will still appear to be maintaining eye contact. It's what I do and it works as I have had social anxiety when interacting and know not maintaining eye contact is a bad trait
I’ve had four narcissistic psychopaths in my life. I had a boss that tried to kill me on six occasions and destroy me on four other occasions. Another, destroyed our family, she was the youngest of three siblings my mom had. A third, destroyed my reputation in the town I live in. The fourth, I married, she destroyed my kids and have convinced them to stay with her in their adult lives.
My mother was a sociopath. When I was young, a psychologist gave me the advice to have a good relationship with her or I would never be successful in a romance. I wasted nearly my whole adulthood trying to have a good relationship with her while she destroyed all my relationships. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would have run away and never looked back, and wouldn't have seen that psychologist.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m a sociopath. I feel empathy though . I grew up with so much of it, as I age though I realized I’m not that way anymore and I find myself favoring absolutes and dictating. I also find myself detaching when it comes to comparing everything to surviving. Knowing that sociopath can develop I question myself. I think being 10 years out of therapy and living life makes me question who am I a lot these days. Thanks for listening.
I wouldn’t say you’re a sociopath. I’d say you’re just human and getting older. The more experience one acquires with life, especially negative ones, the more dull and less receptive they are and become to their surroundings and people. It’s a defence mechanism. It doesn’t mean you lack empathy nor the ability to connect- just that you don’t want to because of what it entails.
This renders as more borderline personality.
After I read this, I read it again in the context of engaging or interacting where someone exemplified these dynamics.
Borderline shares some qualities with socio and is also incurred as aftermath or by way of trauma & abandonment-𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 for males.
Females (are more likely to) have some genetic component.
same bro, a lot of the things listed in the video i can do quite easily, because ive subconsciously gained a lot of sociopathic skills out of desperation. but at the end of the day im a very empathetic person, more than most I think.
I'm not feeling you are a sociopath from your description but I'd just like to say that people freak out with these things, but we all live together in soceity and interact with all sorts of personalities here described and so on.
"Evil" doesn't come in one shape only... I don't think there are good people and bad people. Some people who are "good" and capable of great benefit are also perpetrators of other kinds of evil, sometimes by being too passive for example.
trust your gut! Young people may fall into bad relationship more easily due to wanting to be with someone but you learn to see the signs as you get older and pause and go "nope!"
This was great, now I know all of the things I need to watch so others can't detect that I'm a Psychopath.
The worst thing is when a narcissist, psychopath or sociopath project and label others with such disorders just because they are a student of the field of psychology or work in the field.
😄 I'm really wary of people who act hypocritically and then I find out that they're studying psychology.
@@hawkeye9793 😂😅
The field/profession of psychology is being exploited by these exact types of people.
@@BB-fo5mr 100%
What happens when a sociopath meets another sociopath? Must be a chess game
We draw boundaries and give each other space. It's too much to have several in one place. Bad things will happen. Prison is another setting with sociopaths grouped together. And it's an enchanting setting.
it’s intriguing yet exhausting so distance is kept for most part. if they gang up whole area is cooked until one betrays the other. first reply is pretty spot on
The room ain't big enough for the both of 'em
I'm abt to get advisedly diagnosed by my psychologist next year for ASPD and I can tell you it can go in two different ways.
First it can be all good for the two of us, because we like how that person acts, we know exactly how their mind works, so it creates a "bound" where two ppl who don't fit in this world understand each other, which is what happened between me and my closest friend, he is also one.
Now if it is a sociopath with many violent urges, the constant criminal path, don't have any control, it's a dead-game, they hate each other, they want to see who's the best at it most of the times, it's rather competitive, it's quite like maths (+violence + +violence= ++violence). But that was an interesting question to answer ngl
Chess? You’re thinking psychopath. They’re usually more intelligent than the average person. They’re more
The difference between sociopathy and psychopathy can be subtle and is often misunderstood.
Sociopaths: They do have some capacity for empathy, though it's usually limited and selective. They can form attachments and feel loyalty to a specific individual or group but tend to lack empathy towards others outside their circle. Their behavior is more erratic and impulsive, and they can form emotional attachments but may struggle with maintaining them.
Psychopaths: They typically have a more profound lack of empathy across the board, meaning they are unable to form genuine emotional connections with others. Their behavior is more calculated, and they tend to be more manipulative and charming on the surface.
Movies, TV shows, and even some TH-cam videos tend to simplify complex psychological concepts to make the storyline more dramatic and easier for the audience to understand. They often portray both sociopaths and psychopaths as ruthless, emotionless villains because it creates a more compelling narrative.
I’ve heard some sociopaths describe it as having self interest without any true sense of self, and that building a stronger connection with who they were helped them a LOT in being more aware of how to treat others with respect. Makes sense really. If you barely care about yourself and your boundaries, how are going to know you should be doing that for others?
Also, I’ll just say, I’m WAY more scared of getting involved with a narcissist than a sociopath. At least with the latter, they’re capable of reason and self-reflection and change, even taking on an altruistic philosophy that is couched in self-interest but still has a good impact. Narcissists can’t ever improve themselves or their behavior because of how anathema that is to how they’re wired. And I would know, being raised by two of them, lol. They can’t even simulate genuine care for others. So if you meet one of those, run run run and never ever look back.
With that being said, would you say you've developed narcissistic tendencies? Are you able give care for others even though you weren't given it yourself ?
Well, they raised me, and never let me be exposed to anything else, so I definitely picked up some tendencies, or maybe habits is more accurate? But the underlying psychology was never there, and I ended up being unable to communicate what I actually meant and being confused when I was misunderstood or pushed people away, especially when I was a kid. And not having friends made it even harder to learn proper social skills. I’ve spent the entirety of my 20’s in and out of therapy and generally trying to weed out those bad habits and thought patterns. It’s been incredibly tough, but I’ve come a very, long way, which I try my best to be proud of.
I definitely care about others, though, always have as a hyper-empath, especially since I didn’t think of myself as being as much of a person as other people (the result of never getting unconditional love). But I was only ever given the tools to give the sort of care that my narcissistic parents demanded of me. Which was toxic for me and didn’t translate well outside of those relationships, except with other abusers, who sought me out for that reason. I didn’t know how to think and act with the kindness I intrinsically wanted to give, how to build others up, or share in their happiness. All of that was completely alien to me, and seeing it in media always put me off because of how fake it seemed. And then part of it was the effect of trauma, too; since everything was already being drained from me, I had nothing left to give to others.
I still struggle with giving care in some ways, even though I very much want to. Partly because new habits are hard to build, partly because I have a limited circle of people to care about, and partly because I’m still healing from the trauma and the resulting self-preservation instincts that say that if I give anything, the other person is going to take more than I have and then use it to hurt me. Or that I’ll do it wrong and end up being mocked (I got bullied a lot, too). It feels like a sort of...vulnerability that I shouldn’t risk showing. I’ve gotten better at fighting that, though, especially since I can enforce my boundaries now. It’s just...a journey. And complicated. And exhausting.
what you said first is kinda right, after i find out , i was aware most of the time what i'm doing, tho i might have still done it, but i was aware but i'm both a narcissist and sociopath but i do agree that only narcissist are kinda crazy , like they are absolute on their beliefs, now it might me my narcissist self saying that only narcissist are crazier than narcissist sociopath but a sociopath will cope with you if they like you or you are usefull narcissist don't they get defensive even in slightest things and will go do outrageous things i've find this behaviour in many pampered girls, so a narcissist is definitely crazier but i think it's in shorter period if yo get rid of them, a sociopath won't let you get rid of them easily unless they want to
i have a "friend" that s a narcissist and i just use him to get me money and parties (he is a douchebag tho)
@@sto3s.y.d.255 Stop using people.