THE best ADHD Chatter podcast EVER. Martine so clearly inspired by you Alex. She also one of the most articulate about her ADHD, mental health & life journey. Her love for life, her son and desire to help spread your message Alex is second to no other I've heard. The chemistry, respect & natural empathy you both shared throughout was awesome. Congratulations to both of you for one of the best social media videos of 2024 😊
Agreed - they are both so articulate on everything and describe how living with adhd really is , such a positive role model - amazing , love her , big respect .
48 year old woman diagnosed 4 years ago by accident when on my daughters pathway to AUDHD diagnosis. I have just sat and listened to every single word that Martine and yourself have spoken from start to finish without taking a break or even moving from my seat. Thank you Martine and Thank you Alex - Thank you !!!!!!
You know what is most helpful for me about your channel - so many of my favourite people, like Martine, all have ADHD. And it's really helping me feel good about myself now, anyone on your podcast and yourself, are exactly my type of people, and it's helping me really accept my life and heal from my past. As well as start to have true compassion for myself. Thank you ❤❤❤
Thank you for this interview- I also have ME and ADHD- and I noticed at an NHS, ME support group how most people were actually high achievers… not ‘lazy’ as I expected and judged myself to be… I think that’s when I suspected a link between the two- ‘overdoing it then crashing’… struggling to get started then struggling to stop- feeling things ‘too deeply’… etc etc… I’m only 15 mins in but just wanted to thank you already as I’m so grateful for you talking about your life… X
I've followed Martine's journey since watching her on East Enders. We have so many similarities, I also have ME and now there's the ADHD I was diagnosed 3 months ago aged 68 (69 in two days time!). I echo everything she says except I still push myself to do things which exhaust me, mainly because the thought of perpetual boredom feels much worse. So thank you for this interview Alex. And thank you Martine for putting ME out there all these years ago and now ADHD too! And Alex I agree with her, you are doing so much good with your work here. Certainly helping me get my head around my diagnoses and my grief for the past years of struggle and at times bullying from people who should have known better. x
I’m not ADHD but still learn a lot about myself by listening to this brilliant podcast. The honesty & vulnerability of all your guests is a gift to everyone ❤
I got my diagnosis at age 59 and it definitely made a difference. I am now on medication that I explain to others helps to make things quieter in my head. I understand more about me now and how my brain works. It will also help my daughter and granddaughter with their diagnosis journeys. 💕😁
Not sure about you but Meds don't help my time blindness, like Martine I use alarms for everything... . taking the bins out, getting dinner on time, keeping my day on schedule, keeping appointments... absolute god send.
There are still many symptoms present but as my head is quieter I’m content with that! I am masking less and more comfortable with stimming. I am also more able to recognise when I’m becoming anxious or overwhelmed and I’m learning to speak up for myself and let others know how I’m feeling. My time blindness is still an issue but I’m learning to put earlier times in my calendar than I actually need to turn up… I’ve even arrived early to things thinking I was late as usual!
I once saw Martine out with friends in a Chinese restaurant Loughton Essex mid 2000’s .. I was absolutely blown away buy her classic English Rose 🌹 good looks ..she was absolutely stunning 😍 She was sitting happily with friends laughing and having a good time … She literally lit up the room ..or I was possibly just “Star struck “❤️🏴
Becoming a mother made me realize how conditional my mother's 'love' was for me. She knew I had ADHD from the age of 12/13. She told me I don't have it and I don't need medication. I just need to stop being lazy. Diagnosed again at 41 and on the evil medication. Doing better than ever. Great interview and Martine has such a great attitude ❤
Wow Martine. You have said quite a few things on here that have really struck a chord and hit home for me. I've recently been referred for an ADHD assessment and been taking in the info I see now. I felt a little sad because I thought just like you did, that I've spent all these years not feeling enough or like I'm wrong for so many things that I do or feel, but hearing u say that until recently u probably would not have taken the diagnosis the same, or society may not have been so accepting of it, has changed my mindset. So thank you. Plus the overthinking and once ur home, wondering if you upset someone or said the wrong thing etc. It's actually made me become so anxious at social events, I've become someone who finds it hard to get out the house. Thank you for sharing everything, as so much resognated with me. Thanku for this amazing podcast too. I'm glad I've found it x
Martine is so gorgeous and it's encouraging to know someone similar age is having these experiences with coming to terms. I wish I had more friends that understood, someone to talk deep with. And I'm glad she pointed out that her childhood was complex because it's hard to navigate adhd when there is other issues processing at the same time. Also its encouraging to know martine will tell her friends about her condition until she is blue in the face. I have held back on telling people in my circle because i know they will judge and condemn. Note taken... Find new circle of people who value me, ALL OF ME!
@@JazzyJabbz But not once during this does Martine whinge about anything. She's honest and curious and very refreshing. As I've admitted, I was expecting quite the opposite.
I'm 49 and undiagnosed and my area is on hold for testing. It's so amazing to hear martine feels the way I have felt my whole life of feeling so different from every one else and hiding who I really am. Thank you martine so much for being so honest and explaining your emotions. You're so amazing and I find it difficult to put into words how much an effect your words are having. Thank you Alex for being so brave in starting this and using your platform like this.i so identify with not feeling enough or less than. I have felt strongly for years feeling sub human and I don't come with the same basic toolkit as most people
It is so inspiring to see and hear Martine talking about the importance of loving yourself and really believing that you are enough. The more these themes are explored the more it challenges the inner negativity. One of the many benefits of watching each episode of this podcast. Thanks Matine and thanks Alex, this was a great interview xx
I feel so “comprehended”!! That’s no fun! I found your channel yesterday and 10 seconds into a short I began weeping. So thanks for that I guess? In my 50’s and diagnosed (firmly) with ADHD last month. This is all quite new, but I can sense beginning a new chapter in my life might be possible.
Of all the guests, Martine is my most relatable. Similar ages from similar areas of london, her story is so similar to mine and her adhd expresses just like mine....Thankyou Martine.... Thankyou for telling me that it is OK to be who I really am.
Thank you sooooooo much Alex and Martine! I've hit pretty much the bottom after years of coping. Perimenopause has broken me. BUT I've advocated for myself (and thereby my 6yo daughter) by asking to switch from the local NHS service with a 3 year wait, to the right to choose route with a 4-5 month wait. After I'm diagnosed it's operation mini-me. She is doing so well at school academically now, but I see my emotional struggles in her....I see the masking and the associated anxiety already - my facade failed somewhat in secondary school and big time in n sixth form. I understand myself sooooo much better from listening to your podcasts, Understood, HowtoADHD and danidonovan. I'm looking forward to getting over the diagnosis and grief and moving the hell on with life! Thank you, thank you, and thank you again!!!!
I'm 53 and spoke to my doctor yesterday because I suspect I am ADHD. I totally get the fear of the lost years but I think it is interfering too much with my life to carry on without being sure. Thanks Martine for sharing your experience and especially the bit where you point out all the ways we are actually wonderful.
i'm your age and i did the qb test 21/10. i go back for the talk interview in November. i blurted out that their offices looked like the starship enterprise (doors that opened automatically) and that their office was in a soulless business pk. then i winced and wriggled like a drama queen when they took the blood. i just look forward to being able to look back on memories of things that were really really hard, or things that i never managed (degree, marriage) and just reframe it all but this time with SO much self-compassion. But a dx is about the future as well as the past. I plan to live a lot longer. XX
Newly late awakening in the process of diagnosis at 54 years. Teenage daughter also diagnosed. Hit home how Martine learns lines. Once astonished at daughter knowing every cast members’ lines as well as her own whilst playing Roblox during read through. What a gift!! Thank you for sharing your experience. I love this tribe.
Apologies for the pre-judgement, but I saw this come up and thought, "not another celebrity ADHD interview!" 🙄 Sorry. Happy to admit I was wrong. Really enjoyed this episode! Thanks Alex and Martine. Great stuff! 💕 😊
I absolutely love what she said about adhd being part of you but not all. We are multi faceted and I also agree that that you can mourn the lost years and things being different, but also still not have made the correct choices through not honouring yourself and not enough self love. I also think that there are beautiful elements of adhd..we tend to be more sensitive and creative and compassionate because of our daily struggles and i am definitely drawn to neurodivergents.
My separation / family breakdown most definitely threw my daughter’s undiagnosed ADHD into overdrive…and very soon afterwards it became so clear that I was an ADHDer too. My stable, protective upbringing absolutely scaffolded me, and my ability to mask was excellent… all my internal ‘stuff’ and hidden impulsivity all makes such sad sense now 😔
We’ve basically all got ADHD it seems! I never mention I have it anymore, because it feels so embarrassing to admit it now, like I’ve just jumped on the bandwagon. Its almost become a trend, like going gluten free! 😂 I do like Martine a lot, and wish her, and all of us on the ADHD journey well 🙏
@@susanramen1615 I realise we haven’t all got it, I’m just trying to bring some humour to this treacherous condition. I will remove the post if it’s triggering anyone.
@@jbug884it's not triggering. I agree, people have a little quirk or do something a bit different and claim they have adhd. I'm sick of it. Especially knowing the struggle around getting a late diagnosis and life. I struggle daily.
It’s hard and I agree with what you’re saying. The awareness of it in recent years has made me realise that I think I have adhd. I’m 51. I’ve cried a lot thinking about over my childhood, school years and lack of career etc - always wondering why everyone achieved normal things in life and despite being relatively intelligent I wasn’t able to. It all made sense. I don’t feel I can say it to anyone though because ‘everyone has adhd these days’ I don’t feel like I can can go to a gp because I’ll have a ten year waiting list if they don’t just write me off as a perimenopausal woman who heard everyone else say they had adhd and try and stick me on anti depressants and I can’t go private as I can’t afford it and also I know they pretty much tell everyone whatever they want to hear. It’s sad really.
diagnosed two days ago at 42, ADHD combined. don't want to use it as an excuse for my mistakes, but its hard to believe looking from the outside in, that I'd have done half the mistakes I've done up to know in my life. Its difficult to accept that how much you're struggling now could have been mitigated had it been caught as a child.
Dear Alex, I came across your channel a short time ago and it's mind blowing. Where can one go to get a diagnosis? A pshychiatrist? Thank you so much for these wonderful videos. 🙏
Wow absolutely loved this! Your amazing Martine. Can do relate to the whole not being good enough and striving for perfect! Thank u so much. This was so fresh and eye opening into ADHD and how to do life x
I asked the doctor if i could get a diagnosis and he said oh we’re all on the spectrum. But im really struggling to keep up, id love to see where a diagnosis would take me. I love this podcast :)
I have literally in the last few months become aware that..I have so many characteristics/markers of ADHD And I’m a clinician in GP practice. I refer kids in to the ADHD pathway often. And I didn’t even think of it for myself. And EVERYTHING makes sense now. I wasted so much time being absolutely furious with myself for “letting people down, letting myself down, being lazy, not being able to get stuff done even though I’m trying, being an absolute dickhead (how I feel when I’m frustrated at myself) Just feeling like a terrible human. I started to absolutely hate myself and didn’t know why I felt like such a terrible person. Like such a horrible friend, brother, son and everyone else was so much better than me..because they “ had it together” and I was just a complete C word. Nope..I do think I have adhd. And it’s freeing to come to a conclusion..actually a potential conclusion. I have no formal diagnosis yet but I’m pretty certain 🤷♂️ She’s so eloquent Three words she says “never feeling enough” That’s me. In three words. .
Literally the ONLY thing that moderated and allowed me to get a firm handle on my ADHD, as well as transmuted to a certain extent is a daily meditation practice. I admit, in the beginning, it was probably more challenging for me than for most due to the ADHD, which is pretty profound lol. I went to various meditation apps and really couldn’t find anything that worked? Everything felt… Somehow fake and scripted? Anyway, an old college friend finally told me about this incredible woman who started this live guided meditation service all over the world, online. She post a new meditation each morning and it’s accessible around the world and then is replaced again in the next morning. Anyway, I was so skeptical? Mean… You gotta be kidding. Sit still and actually meditate? But the woman leading it is honestly so exceptional, she’s been teaching for over 30 years, has this giant résumé, and she’s just so real and honest and good at it. And here I am, two months later, waking up and meditating pretty much before I do anything else? And it has literally changed my life in every direction I look. highly recommend. She’s got a 30 day trial, which is again like totally unusual that anyone would do that. And she does a free one on one with each new subscriber, whether you share go! Anyway, sorry to go on and on. I’m just so shocked and surprised and in disbelief that something so simple has had such profound consequences for my mental health, emotional health, you name it. I feel like a new person. I warn you though, it takes a solid 2 to 3 weeks of doing it every morning without fail to see any results. Neural pathways and all that.😄😄
Im a little alarmed that anyone is sat in a waiting room, and randomly offered a test for ADHD. Its so important to be really discerning with these private companies. I am a mental health professional, and Im alarmed by how readily these diagnoses are being given. Its a good thing there is more awareness, its also not such a good thing that with many private companies people seem to be told they are positive for either autism or adhd. For example I have sat with patients who have paid to see a private psychiatrist because they are convinced they have a certain mental health diagnosis. They then bring the letter from the private psychiatrist into an NHS appointment with an NHS psychiatrist, because thats who they are counting on to prescribe medication for them, ( which will be free). The NHS psychiatrist has not been remotely in agreement with the 'diagnosis' of the private psychiatrist, and the patient is very frustated about that. I would much rather an NHS Dr cast an eye over something, in the case of mental health, or neurodiversity. Credibility is higher, and no financial incentives. I understand the frustration with NHS waiting lists. I just cant help but to wonder if Martine had been to see an NHS specialist what they would have said. Maybe they would have drawn the same conclusion . Maybe far from that.
I agree but the problem is the waiting lists. I’m am trying to seek assessment for my 9 year old boy on NHS and have been told a 10 year wait! I also would like an assessment but I do not know if to even bother via NHS at this point as it’s so exhausting via NHS.
I have heard ADHD as a trauma response. Like Martine a lot of violence directed at me during my childhood. I use the term Mirror Ball response. That you put the trauma in a mirror ball, your mind cannot focus on the trauma because it is dispersed around by scattered distraction. And you never are able to resolve the pain of those circumstances, and process it as an adult, because your reactions are still stuck in a child state
Just being neurodivergent is traumatic in and of itself in a world that isn’t designed to be friendly for us and then other traumatic experiences in our lives on top of it are even harder it’s a brain wiring difference that is genetic that you are born with not a trauma response
@@Dancestar1981The two have very similar symptoms and no professional I've asked has been able to tell me the difference. When you say it's brain wiring is that from neuro science brain imaging and can you cite the research that shows the difference in the brain?
@@ChristineMeyer-hs9rg research over more than 70 years in psychology and neuroscience industry. We’ve always been here since the beginning of time and were responsible for all of humanity’s innovation through our entire history
@@ChristineMeyer-hs9rg I agree with your line of questioning. People seem to see things so black-and-white and miss the connections so often. I believe it is chicken and egg. We are born more sensitive, so we are more easily traumatized, we end up in a traumatized situation, and then we become even more sensitive. That's just how things happen in reality. conditions and circumstances aren't isolated. The more we have either or both, the more traits we will incur over a lifetime. We were born with the potential to be more sensitive, we are born into difficult situations, the difficult situations make us more sensitive, the sensitivities make us even more sensitive to future trauma. Having settle this I do not see it as a victimized state. I think there is just as much good as negative, just as many gifts as challenges. I do not see anything as being genetic or just the way we are born, but I do see our destiny and the life experiences and challenges we were each meant to have as an inherent part of each individual. Whether you want to say you were born that way, or just destined for a particular experience, the important thing is to realize everything is connected; our experiences and our conditions,. And we are born into our destiny and whether there's a blueprint that shows that on our biology, or whether our destiny can be traced back to our design, seeing intricately is a key piece of living a life of meaning rather than subscribing to fate
How does a person know they have ADHD as opposed to complex trauma? There are so many aspects of complex or developmental trauma that overlaps with ADHD.I mean Martine had a very traumatic childhood and so many of the things she described like masking her true self or feeling unsafe,feeling inadequate and never feeling enough are do related to complex trauma. I wonder how many people with ADHD actually have traumatic backgrounds and sometimes not obvious trauma like Martine who had a violent father but absent parents,emotionally absent parents or unattended parents so some attachment issues.Thete are so many parallels that one wonders if ADHD is simply the effects of poor attachment leading to anxiety and a lack of sense of self.
ADHD testing looks at working memory and other aspects of brain function. It’s not just a question of sitting down and talking to you; you also do lots of tests.
This is what I'm questioning because my son was diagnosed this year and I've just found out some of my cousins have ADHD as well. I've always struggled with mental health so just always put it down to that but I really am questioning everything now.
See, she's one of these who CAN afford to and ARE ALLOWED TO go private. People on welfare are not. WHY IS UK GOVERNMENT NOT INSTRUCTING NHS TO ACTIVELY SCREEN FOR SUCH DISORDERS AT SCHOOL AGE?
how did she get a diagnosis so fast, even privately ? She was able to fill out the form and get a diagnosis on that day !? I went privately (waiting list was years) and i still had to wait
I didn’t receive my dual diagnosis of Combined ADHD and ASD fully recognised until last year at the tender age of 42. The old system of diagnosis was biased towards men for both conditions and it presents itself differently for women. It’s time this was brought to the fore
Looking at motivations… I pursued challenging things bc I thought it would be fun (I’d say “for sh*+s and gigs,” or “the question isn’t why, it’s why not?!”) 😂 Generally, I was right and I did a lot of cool stuff and had fun. Military, college degrees, living abroad, paragliding, etc… So I’m not sure if that falls into impulsivity. I usually thought about my decisions enough to know that they wouldn’t hurt me, and they would be good for XYZ reasons. Maybe it’s just the ADHD drive for a good challenge-like I was bored…
I had no idea i had adhd as a woman, i was just wierd cookie and people get saying i was drunk even though i am t total and it turned out i had adhd and dyspraxia all along! Sad for my younger self as i was labelled lazy and selfish when i was trying so hard!
I’m scared to use ADHD medication. Is there anything that isn’t addictive and while it’ll keep me calm won’t stifle my creativity? I have anxiety too which I already use medication for. Thinking of trying mouthful of caffeine for now till I get more answers. Caffeine puts me to sleep like systemically heart rate my mind everything just shuts down after drinking it. So I can’t drink more than that a mouthful if I’m just hoping to slow myself down a bit. I think I’ll try that for now. Also sleeping pills keep me awake so I have that opposite idiosyncratic reaction to stimulants.
THE best ADHD Chatter podcast EVER. Martine so clearly inspired by you Alex. She also one of the most articulate about her ADHD, mental health & life journey. Her love for life, her son and desire to help spread your message Alex is second to no other I've heard. The chemistry, respect & natural empathy you both shared throughout was awesome. Congratulations to both of you for one of the best social media videos of 2024 😊
That's lovely to read, thank you Dave!
Agreed - they are both so articulate on everything and describe how living with adhd really is , such a positive role model - amazing , love her , big respect .
48 year old woman diagnosed 4 years ago by accident when on my daughters pathway to AUDHD diagnosis. I have just sat and listened to every single word that Martine and yourself have spoken from start to finish without taking a break or even moving from my seat.
Thank you Martine and Thank you Alex - Thank you !!!!!!
I’m 😊
snap , have not moved !
You know what is most helpful for me about your channel - so many of my favourite people, like Martine, all have ADHD. And it's really helping me feel good about myself now, anyone on your podcast and yourself, are exactly my type of people, and it's helping me really accept my life and heal from my past. As well as start to have true compassion for myself. Thank you ❤❤❤
This podcast is heaven sent for a late diagnosed ADHDer like me. I recognize similar struggles and challenges. Thx 🙏🏻
Pleasure!
💯 Agree!
Me too
Thank you for this interview- I also have ME and ADHD- and I noticed at an NHS, ME support group how most people were actually high achievers… not ‘lazy’ as I expected and judged myself to be… I think that’s when I suspected a link between the two- ‘overdoing it then crashing’… struggling to get started then struggling to stop- feeling things ‘too deeply’… etc etc… I’m only 15 mins in but just wanted to thank you already as I’m so grateful for you talking about your life… X
Ah sweet Martine, what a gift it is for you to share your beautiful journey back to your heart. We are not broken, we are enough 🙏🏼❤️✨
I've followed Martine's journey since watching her on East Enders. We have so many similarities, I also have ME and now there's the ADHD I was diagnosed 3 months ago aged 68 (69 in two days time!). I echo everything she says except I still push myself to do things which exhaust me, mainly because the thought of perpetual boredom feels much worse. So thank you for this interview Alex. And thank you Martine for putting ME out there all these years ago and now ADHD too! And Alex I agree with her, you are doing so much good with your work here. Certainly helping me get my head around my diagnoses and my grief for the past years of struggle and at times bullying from people who should have known better. x
Did you feel it allowed you to look back on some memories of things that had not gone well for you with a more self-compassionate re-frame.
I’m not ADHD but still learn a lot about myself by listening to this brilliant podcast. The honesty & vulnerability of all your guests is a gift to everyone ❤
I got my diagnosis at age 59 and it definitely made a difference. I am now on medication that I explain to others helps to make things quieter in my head. I understand more about me now and how my brain works. It will also help my daughter and granddaughter with their diagnosis journeys. 💕😁
Not sure about you but Meds don't help my time blindness, like Martine I use alarms for everything... . taking the bins out, getting dinner on time, keeping my day on schedule, keeping appointments... absolute god send.
I just got dx today this gives me hope 🙏🧡
There are still many symptoms present but as my head is quieter I’m content with that! I am masking less and more comfortable with stimming. I am also more able to recognise when I’m becoming anxious or overwhelmed and I’m learning to speak up for myself and let others know how I’m feeling. My time blindness is still an issue but I’m learning to put earlier times in my calendar than I actually need to turn up… I’ve even arrived early to things thinking I was late as usual!
I once saw Martine out with friends in a Chinese restaurant Loughton Essex mid 2000’s .. I was absolutely blown away buy her classic English Rose 🌹 good looks ..she was absolutely stunning 😍 She was sitting happily with friends laughing and having a good time … She literally lit up the room ..or I was possibly just “Star struck “❤️🏴
Becoming a mother made me realize how conditional my mother's 'love' was for me. She knew I had ADHD from the age of 12/13. She told me I don't have it and I don't need medication. I just need to stop being lazy. Diagnosed again at 41 and on the evil medication. Doing better than ever. Great interview and Martine has such a great attitude ❤
I wasn't diagnosed as a child but I was warned to to try and capitalise on my incompetence. Wow.
I’m so sorry your mom did that. As a mom too, I agree. It’s heartbreaking 💔
Wow Martine. You have said quite a few things on here that have really struck a chord and hit home for me. I've recently been referred for an ADHD assessment and been taking in the info I see now. I felt a little sad because I thought just like you did, that I've spent all these years not feeling enough or like I'm wrong for so many things that I do or feel, but hearing u say that until recently u probably would not have taken the diagnosis the same, or society may not have been so accepting of it, has changed my mindset. So thank you. Plus the overthinking and once ur home, wondering if you upset someone or said the wrong thing etc. It's actually made me become so anxious at social events, I've become someone who finds it hard to get out the house. Thank you for sharing everything, as so much resognated with me. Thanku for this amazing podcast too. I'm glad I've found it x
Martine is so gorgeous and it's encouraging to know someone similar age is having these experiences with coming to terms. I wish I had more friends that understood, someone to talk deep with.
And I'm glad she pointed out that her childhood was complex because it's hard to navigate adhd when there is other issues processing at the same time. Also its encouraging to know martine will tell her friends about her condition until she is blue in the face. I have held back on telling people in my circle because i know they will judge and condemn. Note taken... Find new circle of people who value me, ALL OF ME!
The number 1 reason why I love this podcast is the honesty and open it is no holds ba!! just pure, Truth Thank you ❤
Whinging about your feelings isn’t brave or honest these days tho. It is just ON TREND
@@JazzyJabbz But not once during this does Martine whinge about anything. She's honest and curious and very refreshing. As I've admitted, I was expecting quite the opposite.
@JazzyJabbz whinging can you give us some direct quotes?
I'm 49 and undiagnosed and my area is on hold for testing. It's so amazing to hear martine feels the way I have felt my whole life of feeling so different from every one else and hiding who I really am. Thank you martine so much for being so honest and explaining your emotions. You're so amazing and I find it difficult to put into words how much an effect your words are having. Thank you Alex for being so brave in starting this and using your platform like this.i so identify with not feeling enough or less than. I have felt strongly for years feeling sub human and I don't come with the same basic toolkit as most people
It is so inspiring to see and hear Martine talking about the importance of loving yourself and really believing that you are enough. The more these themes are explored the more it challenges the inner negativity. One of the many benefits of watching each episode of this podcast. Thanks Matine and thanks Alex, this was a great interview xx
I feel so “comprehended”!! That’s no fun! I found your channel yesterday and 10 seconds into a short I began weeping. So thanks for that I guess? In my 50’s and diagnosed (firmly) with ADHD last month. This is all quite new, but I can sense beginning a new chapter in my life might be possible.
Wonderful conversation; Martine's a Lovely guest...learned a lot !
Of all the guests, Martine is my most relatable. Similar ages from similar areas of london, her story is so similar to mine and her adhd expresses just like mine....Thankyou Martine.... Thankyou for telling me that it is OK to be who I really am.
Yes I relate the same, and my favourite movie at Christmas is love actually,😂
Thank you sooooooo much Alex and Martine! I've hit pretty much the bottom after years of coping. Perimenopause has broken me. BUT I've advocated for myself (and thereby my 6yo daughter) by asking to switch from the local NHS service with a 3 year wait, to the right to choose route with a 4-5 month wait. After I'm diagnosed it's operation mini-me. She is doing so well at school academically now, but I see my emotional struggles in her....I see the masking and the associated anxiety already - my facade failed somewhat in secondary school and big time in n sixth form.
I understand myself sooooo much better from listening to your podcasts, Understood, HowtoADHD and danidonovan. I'm looking forward to getting over the diagnosis and grief and moving the hell on with life!
Thank you, thank you, and thank you again!!!!
Wonderful interview, so inspiring. Thank you xxxx
How lovely getting to know the real Martine. What a great interview 🎉
I’m 61. I realised a year ago that I have ADHD, and I’m still waiting for a diagnosis. I’ve spent SO many years people-pleasing, masking etc. etc.
I'm 53 and spoke to my doctor yesterday because I suspect I am ADHD. I totally get the fear of the lost years but I think it is interfering too much with my life to carry on without being sure. Thanks Martine for sharing your experience and especially the bit where you point out all the ways we are actually wonderful.
i'm your age and i did the qb test 21/10. i go back for the talk interview in November. i blurted out that their offices looked like the starship enterprise (doors that opened automatically) and that their office was in a soulless business pk. then i winced and wriggled like a drama queen when they took the blood. i just look forward to being able to look back on memories of things that were really really hard, or things that i never managed (degree, marriage) and just reframe it all but this time with SO much self-compassion. But a dx is about the future as well as the past. I plan to live a lot longer. XX
Totally clapping, Martine! So happy to add you to the list of creatives with ADHD. ❤🎉
Wasn't she brilliant!
I wish I was in the industry as I’m a creative with ADHD and ASD
"We need Alex on wheels!" LOL YES!!! This was bloody brilliant!!! Thank you, Alex and Martine!!
Anybody else think this guy looks like Peter Davidson?🤔🙏🏽
Newly late awakening in the process of diagnosis at 54 years. Teenage daughter also diagnosed. Hit home how Martine learns lines. Once astonished at daughter knowing every cast members’ lines as well as her own whilst playing Roblox during read through. What a gift!! Thank you for sharing your experience. I love this tribe.
As if I needed another reason to love Martine! ❤ Amazing.
Apologies for the pre-judgement, but I saw this come up and thought, "not another celebrity ADHD interview!" 🙄 Sorry. Happy to admit I was wrong. Really enjoyed this episode! Thanks Alex and Martine. Great stuff! 💕 😊
Thank you!
Her smile has an amazing up lifting affect on me smile, like this smile can change this sad world, I love this lady xxx
I absolutely love what she said about adhd being part of you but not all. We are multi faceted and I also agree that that you can mourn the lost years and things being different, but also still not have made the correct choices through not honouring yourself and not enough self love. I also think that there are beautiful elements of adhd..we tend to be more sensitive and creative and compassionate because of our daily struggles and i am definitely drawn to neurodivergents.
My separation / family breakdown most definitely threw my daughter’s undiagnosed ADHD into overdrive…and very soon afterwards it became so clear that I was an ADHDer too. My stable, protective upbringing absolutely scaffolded me, and my ability to mask was excellent… all my internal ‘stuff’ and hidden impulsivity all makes such sad sense now 😔
We’ve basically all got ADHD it seems! I never mention I have it anymore, because it feels so embarrassing to admit it now, like I’ve just jumped on the bandwagon. Its almost become a trend, like going gluten free! 😂
I do like Martine a lot, and wish her, and all of us on the ADHD journey well 🙏
No we haven’t all got it.
@@susanramen1615 I realise we haven’t all got it, I’m just trying to bring some humour to this treacherous condition. I will remove the post if it’s triggering anyone.
@@jbug884it's not triggering.
I agree, people have a little quirk or do something a bit different and claim they have adhd. I'm sick of it. Especially knowing the struggle around getting a late diagnosis and life. I struggle daily.
I feel exactly the same. I am 53 years old
It’s hard and I agree with what you’re saying. The awareness of it in recent years has made me realise that I think I have adhd. I’m 51. I’ve cried a lot thinking about over my childhood, school years and lack of career etc - always wondering why everyone achieved normal things in life and despite being relatively intelligent I wasn’t able to. It all made sense. I don’t feel I can say it to anyone though because ‘everyone has adhd these days’ I don’t feel like I can can go to a gp because I’ll have a ten year waiting list if they don’t just write me off as a perimenopausal woman who heard everyone else say they had adhd and try and stick me on anti depressants and I can’t go private as I can’t afford it and also I know they pretty much tell everyone whatever they want to hear. It’s sad really.
She's still got that cute smile, bless her.
Alex, thank you. I fell that you arę the only person who understand. Very often I am crying.
Fabulous podcast, the best. I learn and grow to understand so much more about myself and my whole life with every new episode…… Thankyou 🙏🏻
I bloomin' love Martine McCutcheon! She makes so much sense
This was so open and honest and honestly at the tender age of 55 I realise that I probably have ADHD I think I have to look into this more
diagnosed two days ago at 42, ADHD combined. don't want to use it as an excuse for my mistakes, but its hard to believe looking from the outside in, that I'd have done half the mistakes I've done up to know in my life. Its difficult to accept that how much you're struggling now could have been mitigated had it been caught as a child.
Maybe I am more visual than auditory because I couldn’t figure out how the Temu shopping app would help ADHD. Tiimo, okay got it.
Temu helps my ADHD😂
Lol me too 😂😂
😂 I was thinking the same like what 🤔 😂😂😂
Martine and Alex, thank you so much for a truly wonderful podcast in every way. ❤
This was a fantastic listen. Helped me to take a look at the people pleaser in me. Thank you both
Dear Alex, I came across your channel a short time ago and it's mind blowing. Where can one go to get a diagnosis? A pshychiatrist?
Thank you so much for these wonderful videos. 🙏
What a lovely thing this interview is! It really resonates. Thankyou both.
Wow absolutely loved this! Your amazing Martine. Can do relate to the whole not being good enough and striving for perfect! Thank u so much. This was so fresh and eye opening into ADHD and how to do life x
I asked the doctor if i could get a diagnosis and he said oh we’re all on the spectrum. But im really struggling to keep up, id love to see where a diagnosis would take me. I love this podcast :)
I have literally in the last few months become aware that..I have so many characteristics/markers of ADHD
And I’m a clinician in GP practice. I refer kids in to the ADHD pathway often.
And I didn’t even think of it for myself.
And EVERYTHING makes sense now. I wasted so much time being absolutely furious with myself for “letting people down, letting myself down, being lazy, not being able to get stuff done even though I’m trying, being an absolute dickhead (how I feel when I’m frustrated at myself)
Just feeling like a terrible human. I started to absolutely hate myself and didn’t know why I felt like such a terrible person. Like such a horrible friend, brother, son and everyone else was so much better than me..because they “ had it together” and I was just a complete C word.
Nope..I do think I have adhd.
And it’s freeing to come to a conclusion..actually a potential conclusion.
I have no formal diagnosis yet but I’m pretty certain 🤷♂️
She’s so eloquent
Three words she says “never feeling enough”
That’s me. In three words. .
Beacon of hope Alex - what a beautiful compliment.
I thought this was DCEO for the first minute. Podcast looking good.
Love the fact she is spiritual ….
Yay! New episode!
Sorry; re advert ….speeded up the playback 😏 thank you for your podcasts x
Very inspiring indeed! Thank you ❤
'You're born enough'...what an observation!
I can relate to everything said by Martine ❤ thank you for this interview ❤
I love this Thankyou!! Do Stasis ship to the UK??
Male and female presenters, a dog, shelves full of random items, this is like an ADHD episode of Blue Peter! (In a good way!) 😁
Still tidier than the kids broom
Cupboard 🧹
Literally the ONLY thing that moderated and allowed me to get a firm handle on my ADHD, as well as transmuted to a certain extent is a daily meditation practice. I admit, in the beginning, it was probably more challenging for me than for most due to the ADHD, which is pretty profound lol. I went to various meditation apps and really couldn’t find anything that worked? Everything felt… Somehow fake and scripted? Anyway, an old college friend finally told me about this incredible woman who started this live guided meditation service all over the world, online. She post a new meditation each morning and it’s accessible around the world and then is replaced again in the next morning. Anyway, I was so skeptical? Mean… You gotta be kidding. Sit still and actually meditate? But the woman leading it is honestly so exceptional, she’s been teaching for over 30 years, has this giant résumé, and she’s just so real and honest and good at it. And here I am, two months later, waking up and meditating pretty much before I do anything else? And it has literally changed my life in every direction I look. highly recommend. She’s got a 30 day trial, which is again like totally unusual that anyone would do that. And she does a free one on one with each new subscriber, whether you share go! Anyway, sorry to go on and on. I’m just so shocked and surprised and in disbelief that something so simple has had such profound consequences for my mental health, emotional health, you name it. I feel like a new person. I warn you though, it takes a solid 2 to 3 weeks of doing it every morning without fail to see any results. Neural pathways and all that.😄😄
Great interview
Us Neurodivergent really vibe with each other, so no wonder we thrive with each other ❤😊
So inspertionl talk!
Thank you both. ❤
Brilliant episode
oh boy, I feel so much listening to this! Lots of love to Martine. X What's the name of that app? ha. No I haven't forgotten, Yes I have.
Martine comes across as endearing.
Love this & Love Martine! Will share this TH-cam channel, too.❤🤗
I feel like she's from the future, so much knowledge and understanding!
Trauma can do that to many people. You rely on other worldliness.
Just brilliant ❤ thank you 🎉
Loved listening to her. Beautiful mind.
For the beautiful monologue around the 15 minute mark ♥️
Im a little alarmed that anyone is sat in a waiting room, and randomly offered a test for ADHD. Its so important to be really discerning with these private companies. I am a mental health professional, and Im alarmed by how readily these diagnoses are being given. Its a good thing there is more awareness, its also not such a good thing that with many private companies people seem to be told they are positive for either autism or adhd. For example I have sat with patients who have paid to see a private psychiatrist because they are convinced they have a certain mental health diagnosis. They then bring the letter from the private psychiatrist into an NHS appointment with an NHS psychiatrist, because thats who they are counting on to prescribe medication for them, ( which will be free). The NHS psychiatrist has not been remotely in agreement with the 'diagnosis' of the private psychiatrist, and the patient is very frustated about that. I would much rather an NHS Dr cast an eye over something, in the case of mental health, or neurodiversity. Credibility is higher, and no financial incentives. I understand the frustration with NHS waiting lists. I just cant help but to wonder if Martine had been to see an NHS specialist what they would have said. Maybe they would have drawn the same conclusion . Maybe far from that.
I agree but the problem is the waiting lists. I’m am trying to seek assessment for my 9 year old boy on NHS and have been told a 10 year wait! I also would like an assessment but I do not know if to even bother via NHS at this point as it’s so exhausting via NHS.
I have heard ADHD as a trauma response. Like Martine a lot of violence directed at me during my childhood. I use the term Mirror Ball response. That you put the trauma in a mirror ball, your mind cannot focus on the trauma because it is dispersed around by scattered distraction. And you never are able to resolve the pain of those circumstances, and process it as an adult, because your reactions are still stuck in a child state
Just being neurodivergent is traumatic in and of itself in a world that isn’t designed to be friendly for us and then other traumatic experiences in our lives on top of it are even harder it’s a brain wiring difference that is genetic that you are born with not a trauma response
@@Dancestar1981The two have very similar symptoms and no professional I've asked has been able to tell me the difference. When you say it's brain wiring is that from neuro science brain imaging and can you cite the research that shows the difference in the brain?
@@ChristineMeyer-hs9rg research over more than 70 years in psychology and neuroscience industry. We’ve always been here since the beginning of time and were responsible for all of humanity’s innovation through our entire history
@@ChristineMeyer-hs9rg
I agree with your line of questioning. People seem to see things so black-and-white and miss the connections so often. I believe it is chicken and egg. We are born more sensitive, so we are more easily traumatized, we end up in a traumatized situation, and then we become even more sensitive. That's just how things happen in reality. conditions and circumstances aren't isolated. The more we have either or both, the more traits we will incur over a lifetime.
We were born with the potential to be more sensitive, we are born into difficult situations, the difficult situations make us more sensitive, the sensitivities make us even more sensitive to future trauma.
Having settle this I do not see it as a victimized state. I think there is just as much good as negative, just as many gifts as challenges.
I do not see anything as being genetic or just the way we are born, but I do see our destiny and the life experiences and challenges we were each meant to have as an inherent part of each individual. Whether you want to say you were born that way, or just destined for a particular experience, the important thing is to realize everything is connected; our experiences and our conditions,.
And we are born into our destiny and whether there's a blueprint that shows that on our biology, or whether our destiny can be traced back to our design, seeing intricately is a key piece of living a life of meaning rather than subscribing to fate
How does a person know they have ADHD as opposed to complex trauma? There are so many aspects of complex or developmental trauma that overlaps with ADHD.I mean Martine had a very traumatic childhood and so many of the things she described like masking her true self or feeling unsafe,feeling inadequate and never feeling enough are do related to complex trauma.
I wonder how many people with ADHD actually have traumatic backgrounds and sometimes not obvious trauma like Martine who had a violent father but absent parents,emotionally absent parents or unattended parents so some attachment issues.Thete are so many parallels that one wonders if ADHD is simply the effects of poor attachment leading to anxiety and a lack of sense of self.
ADHD testing looks at working memory and other aspects of brain function. It’s not just a question of sitting down and talking to you; you also do lots of tests.
@@pepernoten1 yeh, having just done the qb test, i don't know how my performance in that test could be affected by my childhood
This is what I'm questioning because my son was diagnosed this year and I've just found out some of my cousins have ADHD as well. I've always struggled with mental health so just always put it down to that but I really am questioning everything now.
Martine… when we see ourselves as God sees us then we can rest in the knowledge that we are loved.
Thank you 🙏 ❤
Oh yes, being told you’re too self aware and worrying what people think, and they’re calling it selfishness
❤️🫂i love you Martine, even though your perfect moment song drove me mad repeating in my head 😂
See, she's one of these who CAN afford to and ARE ALLOWED TO go private. People on welfare are not. WHY IS UK GOVERNMENT NOT INSTRUCTING NHS TO ACTIVELY SCREEN FOR SUCH DISORDERS AT SCHOOL AGE?
how did she get a diagnosis so fast, even privately ?
She was able to fill out the form and get a diagnosis on that day !?
I went privately (waiting list was years) and i still had to wait
I got one within 6 months on NHS - getting the meds however is a totally different ball game!
I didn’t receive my dual diagnosis of Combined ADHD and ASD fully recognised until last year at the tender age of 42. The old system of diagnosis was biased towards men for both conditions and it presents itself differently for women. It’s time this was brought to the fore
Martine, u are amazing! ❤
Thank you martina 👏❤
Looking at motivations… I pursued challenging things bc I thought it would be fun (I’d say “for sh*+s and gigs,” or “the question isn’t why, it’s why not?!”) 😂 Generally, I was right and I did a lot of cool stuff and had fun. Military, college degrees, living abroad, paragliding, etc… So I’m not sure if that falls into impulsivity. I usually thought about my decisions enough to know that they wouldn’t hurt me, and they would be good for XYZ reasons. Maybe it’s just the ADHD drive for a good challenge-like I was bored…
I really like this one l can relate to some of her journey ❤❤
I also hold trauma from my childhood and think i may have ADHD and was wondering if two are interlinked.
Was thst because of a moment like this
I’ve always liked Martine .
Was he one of the rappers in So Solid Crew?
I had no idea i had adhd as a woman, i was just wierd cookie and people get saying i was drunk even though i am t total and it turned out i had adhd and dyspraxia all along! Sad for my younger self as i was labelled lazy and selfish when i was trying so hard!
Love Martine ❤
Genuine but (maybe) exaggerated question.
Is there anyone left without ADHD?
Great question .
Boingy things….. deeley boppers! ❤
I’m scared to use ADHD medication. Is there anything that isn’t addictive and while it’ll keep me calm won’t stifle my creativity? I have anxiety too which I already use medication for. Thinking of trying mouthful of caffeine for now till I get more answers. Caffeine puts me to sleep like systemically heart rate my mind everything just shuts down after drinking it. So I can’t drink more than that a mouthful if I’m just hoping to slow myself down a bit. I think I’ll try that for now. Also sleeping pills keep me awake so I have that opposite idiosyncratic reaction to stimulants.
i don't want to either. I go for a run just 3k every second day, it helps calm the fidgets and make me feel still. Still a fiend for caffeine though!
I can totally relate to that. Stimulants shut me down and depressants have always overstimulated me.
Why was it so easy to get a diagnosis as an adult but so very hard for my son who's adhd is so much more obvious as he's hyper?
I have over 13,000 screenshots so I believe her entirely 😂
I have over 10k to ‘read later’ 😂
Sammmee
I've got dyspraxia and possible adhd, which tend to be comorbid
I have tourettes and the top comorbidity is adhd...
We all feel like that and we don't all have adhd!
Playing Klondike while I listen to the add
Bladdy 'ell! Even Tiffany!?
This app sounds too much like temu l can't cope
Some woman. Thank you.