Thank you all for watching, if you could do me a favour, hit the like button on the video if you liked this conversation! It’s a topic I’ve never covered so hoping you liked it ❤
You couldn't even make it through the intro without blaspheming the Lord Jesus. If you really think you should be publicly blaspheming then be bold and do the same to Islam's Muhammad.
Love the new lighting and depth of field. I love listening to this guy and have seem him multiple times. In a way it seems strange because I am still deeply in love with my wife after 27 years together. It is a multicultural marriage with a 20 year age gap but if anything it has gotten better over the years. Perhaps it is because I pay attention to the things he talks about and continue to hone my relationship skills despite being together for so long.
One of your most enlightening and thought provoking guests yet so far. Successful, long term relationships are far and few between. Personally? I would never even attempt such a tumultuous endeavor. Great speaker. Great discussion. Wonderful channel. ❤
My grandfather passed away last year after 78 years of marriage. Upon learning he had terminal cancer and no more than 3 months to live, he started crying and said “Who’s going to take care of my wife after I’m gone?” That is the mindset of someone with a long-term successful marriage.
Yup. My grandparents were married for over 60 years. While he was dying, one of his biggest concerns was who would take care of my grandmother. They don't seem to make them like that anymore, and if they do, they are rare!!
Yes. I am 83. My husband and the love of my life died in my arms two years ago after 61 years of marriage. It was not a perfect marriage. I swear, every 7 or 8 years, it changed drastically, sometimes for the good, sometimes bad. We made many mistakes. But we loved each other, and we loved each other’s families, and we adored our children. So we endured…until the next change. The old poem is right: “Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be, the last of life for which the first was made.”
This atty shouldn't have this interview, unless the value of him promoting his service outweighs the aidjence he dissuades to avoid marriage. He wouldn't consider this on small following channel.
Yes, you are so right!! James Sexton was brilliant though at first I was skeptical. As I continued to listen I realized some things about myself. He shared so much information and I know it would have made me stop and think about my own relationships, but I’m hearing it now and it’s okay. Excellent conversation Steven and James🥰. I recommend this episode to anyone thinking about marriage or partnership…it opened my eyes!!!
He has another interview as equally profound with minimal duplication. Idk if it’s allowed for me to post the channel, but it was 9 mos ago. This guy has a lot of unique and interesting things to say. Worth listening to both interviews in full.
In our Catholic tradition, couples are required to attend marriage counseling before getting married. I still vividly remember an elderly gentleman with over 50 years of experience in marriage counseling who walked to the front of a room filled with about 20 aspiring couples. He stood silently, intently observing each pair, and after what felt like an eternity, he finally spoke: "With my 50 years of experience in marriage counseling, I can confidently say that none of your marriages will work-not a single one." The room fell into stunned silence. Then, with a cheeky grin, he added: "It will work ONLY if you make it work. Otherwise, by design, it’s not meant to."
Yeah but its through the church and not very intense. They are more concerned about how your marriage and adhere to Catholic traditions. They dont get down to issues such as finances, pre nups and such as a private marriage counselor
50 years of experience? That's laughable. That man had ZERO years of experience in real life marriage since he was NEVER married. He was unqualified to give you or anyone in that room any advice.
My husband leaves me notes on my computer before he leaves to work. I put notes in his lunch. His coworkers laugh but I can’t imagine my life without him
That screams insecurity and that you constantly need reassurance. What you gonna do if your partner gets bored of writing these notes, have a melt down?
@@imconfused1237 No silly, its the little continuous gestures that solidify a partnership. Think of how all other animals that form solid couples do small bond reinforcing gestures on a daily basis, oftentimes several times a day (grooming, chatting, cuddling and on)! Nature itself tells us these little gestures go far and are important!
This guy said something really profound. "The reason why I never wanted to be famous is because the praise of strangers never really appealed to me" Let that sink in
@artvandelay3922 Did he do it...or his career did it without his consent... some decisions we never know they will put us in the public eye... that's why some actors choose to leave the industry.. because the fame is too much... and some are famous but live such quiet lives, only to pop up, make a movie and disappear again...
Profound? When something sounds good but lacks in logic it is often referred to as sophistry. Another term that can be used is 'specious reasoning', which refers to statements that appear plausible on the surface but are actually flawed - in this see case his actions or inactions in this regard bely his truths.
I’ve been in a couple with some advertisers and it literally makes me sick to my stomach. Nothing makes me feel like shit more than someone who wasn’t satisfied enough with me, so they had to make up for it by searching for praise and acknowledgment from people they don’t even care enough about to spend time with.
Some extra specific points that resonated: - 34:50 emotional affair 47:06 negative spiral 1:04:09 the "real" job of a divorce lawyer 1:07:33 all marital problems stem from this 1:08:29 why he's expensive wow great answer 1:25:00 we are always losing everyone all the time 1:28:13 mindfulness exercise - hug 1:39:02 reframing success in a relationship
Hello ! May Allah protect and guide you to his light and happiness in this life and the hereafter, God bless, Ameen. Excuse me for giving a little presentation of Islam, because it is very misunderstood nowadays, especially on those « Antichrist's » times, where media and politics are mixed to distort history and truth. And terrorists (puppets of the Antichrist) who misinterpret verses, out of ignorance and political motivations, and take them out of historical context (just like radical atheists do by the way) don't help either. Thank you very much for your time. First of all, if you have any questions regarding Islam and yourself, just open the Quran randomly, and you will find the answer in front of you, like a miracle and a sign from God.
Islam is an arabic word that means the Surrender to the One and Only God, our Creator, Protector, Provider, who gives us life and all that we have, we are safe and sound by his will and grace, we are His and to Him we return, and we have to thank him in this trial life by submitting to him by our free will, or later in the Day of judgment when it's too late to save our own skin. Islam was the original Religion descended to earth from heaven with Adam and Eve (peace and blessing be upon them) in the beginning of humanity. and was passed to people with the succession of the 124 000 prophets and 315 messengers of God to all nations and civilizations since, passing by Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Ismaël, Joseph, Moses, Aaron, Joshua, David, Solomon and Jesus (Peace and blessing be upon them) during the history of mankind, the last replaces and completes the previous, until the succession of the last messenger of God fourteen centuries ago, Muhammad (Peace and blessing be upon him) to complete the noble morals of all mankind, to bring humans and jinns out of darkness into light, and to purify people's religion and belief from corruption and polytheism, and return it to purity and true monotheism, like it was in the times of the prophets (Peace and blessing be upon them). Many Religions that we know nowadays, at their beginning were true and under Islam, initiated by one of the prophets of God, but their original teachings, history and scriptures have been corrupted over time with falsification and polytheism, or lost and replaced with false ones. That's why Islam is the only Religion accepted by God nowadays, which consists in bearing witness that there is no god besides Allah (God in Aramaic, the original language of Jesus and the Gospel), and that Muhammad is His servant and messenger, just like Jesus and Moses and others are His servants and messengers. Never a messenger of God said he was God or literally son of God, it was the people after him who changed the words of God and corrupted the Religion. God is unique and absolute, He does not need to have a family and sons or to associate anyone else with His kingdom, He can simply create whatever He wants, everything belongs to Him, and to Him everything will return. Allah said in Surah Al-Mu’minun : “God has never begotten a son, nor is there any god besides Him. Otherwise, each god would have taken away what it has created, and some of them would have gained supremacy over others. Glory be to God, far beyond what they describe. The Knower of the hidden and the manifest. He is exalted, far above what they associate. (91-92 / Translated by ITANI). Allah means the one and only God, the God of all prophets and creatures, the creator of the universe and mankind, and the Master of the Day of judgment, where our destiny, Hell or Paradise, is decided based on our faith and deeds in this trial life, and above all, Allah's mercy. Allah said in Surah Al-Ikhlas : In the name of God, the Gracious, the Merciful. Say, “He is God, the One. God, the Absolute. He begets not, nor was He begotten. And there is none comparable to Him.” (1-4 / Translated by ITANI). Allah said in Surah An-Nisa : O FOLLOWERS of the Gospel! Do not overstep the bounds [of truth] in your religious beliefs, and do not say of God anything but the truth. The Christ Jesus, son of Mary, was but God's Apostle - [the fulfilment of] His promise which He had conveyed unto Mary - and a soul created by Him. Believe, then, in God and His apostles, and do not say, "[God is] a trinity". Desist [from this assertion] for your own good. God is but One God; utterly remote is He, in His glory, from having a son: unto Him belongs all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth; and none is as worthy of trust as God. Never did the Christ feel too proud to be God's servant, nor do the angels who are near unto Him. And those who feel too proud to serve Him and glory in their arrogance [should know that on Judgment Day] He will gather them all unto Himself: (171-172 / Translated by Muhammad Asad). Allah the Most Merciful said in Surah Ali-Imran : Behold, the only [true] religion in the sight of God is [man's] self-surrender unto Him; and those who were vouchsafed revelation aforetime took, out of mutual jealousy, to divergent views [on this point] only after knowledge [thereof] had come unto them. But as for him who denies the truth of God's messages - behold, God is swift in reckoning! Thus, [O Prophet,] if they argue with thee, say, "I have surrendered my whole being unto God, and [so have] all who follow me!" - and ask those who have been vouchsafed revelation aforetime, as well as all unlettered people, "Have you [too] surrendered yourselves unto Him?" And if they surrender themselves unto Him, they are on the right path; but if they turn away - behold, thy duty is no more than to deliver the message: for God sees all that is in [the hearts of] His creatures. Verily, as for those who deny the truth of God's messages, and slay the prophets against all right, and slay people who enjoin equity - announce unto them a grievous chastisement. It is they whose works shall come to nought both in this world and in the life to come; and they shall have none to succour them. (19-22 / Translated by Muhammad Asad).. God said : Say, “We believe in Allah, and in what was revealed to us, and in what was revealed to Abraham, and Ishmael, and Isaac, and Jacob, and the Patriarchs, and in what was given to Moses and Jesus, and in what was given to the prophets from their Lord. We do not differentiate between any of them. And to Him, we surrender.” (2:136 / Translated by Community) Salam (Peace) ---
@@masculinityproject3183he didn’t justify it. Listen carefully. As someone with an undergrad in Psychology too, he was giving insight to the way humans justify their actions. He didn’t necessarily agree.
He got me with the “hug them and think about this being the last hug you are able to give them, then, remember they are still here…” I want to go give my mom a hug.
I think being a funeral director is similar in this. I grew up and my father was a fd and I worked as one as well. Seeing others deepest regrets and joys day in day out you either become inured to it or sensitized. I hug my children so tight every day and take a deep breath of how they smell and feel and remember them right now before they are the new them tomorrow. On the days I do forget when I realize I forgot I tear up.
When my millionaire husband didn’t want a prenup, I knew something was wrong. It ended up being wide scale tax evasion. Be careful. I fled the marriage. I didn’t even show up in court.
A man who is full of wisdom. I cried at the last question. True love is not always saying I love you, true love is an action word. His right LOVE is a verb.
Hello ! May Allah protect and guide you to his light and happiness in this life and the hereafter, God bless, Ameen. Excuse me for giving a little presentation of Islam, because it is very misunderstood nowadays, especially on those « Antichrist's » times, where media and politics are mixed to distort history and truth. And terrorists (puppets of the Antichrist) who misinterpret verses, out of ignorance and political motivations, and take them out of historical context (just like radical atheists do by the way) don't help either. Thank you very much for your time. First of all, if you have any questions regarding Islam and yourself, just open the Quran randomly, and you will find the answer in front of you, like a miracle and a sign from God.
Islam is an arabic word that means the Surrender to the One and Only God, our Creator, Protector, Provider, who gives us life and all that we have, we are safe and sound by his will and grace, we are His and to Him we return, and we have to thank him in this trial life by submitting to him by our free will, or later in the Day of judgment when it's too late to save our own skin. Islam was the original Religion descended to earth from heaven with Adam and Eve (peace and blessing be upon them) in the beginning of humanity. and was passed to people with the succession of the 124 000 prophets and 315 messengers of God to all nations and civilizations since, passing by Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Ismaël, Joseph, Moses, Aaron, Joshua, David, Solomon and Jesus (Peace and blessing be upon them) during the history of mankind, the last replaces and completes the previous, until the succession of the last messenger of God fourteen centuries ago, Muhammad (Peace and blessing be upon him) to complete the noble morals of all mankind, to bring humans and jinns out of darkness into light, and to purify people's religion and belief from corruption and polytheism, and return it to purity and true monotheism, like it was in the times of the prophets (Peace and blessing be upon them). Many Religions that we know nowadays, at their beginning were true and under Islam, initiated by one of the prophets of God, but their original teachings, history and scriptures have been corrupted over time with falsification and polytheism, or lost and replaced with false ones. That's why Islam is the only Religion accepted by God nowadays, which consists in bearing witness that there is no god besides Allah (God in Aramaic, the original language of Jesus and the Gospel), and that Muhammad is His servant and messenger, just like Jesus and Moses and others are His servants and messengers. Never a messenger of God said he was God or literally son of God, it was the people after him who changed the words of God and corrupted the Religion. God is unique and absolute, He does not need to have a family and sons or to associate anyone else with His kingdom, He can simply create whatever He wants, everything belongs to Him, and to Him everything will return. Allah said in Surah Al-Mu’minun : “God has never begotten a son, nor is there any god besides Him. Otherwise, each god would have taken away what it has created, and some of them would have gained supremacy over others. Glory be to God, far beyond what they describe. The Knower of the hidden and the manifest. He is exalted, far above what they associate. (91-92 / Translated by ITANI). Allah means the one and only God, the God of all prophets and creatures, the creator of the universe and mankind, and the Master of the Day of judgment, where our destiny, Hell or Paradise, is decided based on our faith and deeds in this trial life, and above all, Allah's mercy. Allah said in Surah Al-Ikhlas : In the name of God, the Gracious, the Merciful. Say, “He is God, the One. God, the Absolute. He begets not, nor was He begotten. And there is none comparable to Him.” (1-4 / Translated by ITANI). Allah said in Surah An-Nisa : O FOLLOWERS of the Gospel! Do not overstep the bounds [of truth] in your religious beliefs, and do not say of God anything but the truth. The Christ Jesus, son of Mary, was but God's Apostle - [the fulfilment of] His promise which He had conveyed unto Mary - and a soul created by Him. Believe, then, in God and His apostles, and do not say, "[God is] a trinity". Desist [from this assertion] for your own good. God is but One God; utterly remote is He, in His glory, from having a son: unto Him belongs all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth; and none is as worthy of trust as God. Never did the Christ feel too proud to be God's servant, nor do the angels who are near unto Him. And those who feel too proud to serve Him and glory in their arrogance [should know that on Judgment Day] He will gather them all unto Himself: (171-172 / Translated by Muhammad Asad). Allah the Most Merciful said in Surah Ali-Imran : Behold, the only [true] religion in the sight of God is [man's] self-surrender unto Him; and those who were vouchsafed revelation aforetime took, out of mutual jealousy, to divergent views [on this point] only after knowledge [thereof] had come unto them. But as for him who denies the truth of God's messages - behold, God is swift in reckoning! Thus, [O Prophet,] if they argue with thee, say, "I have surrendered my whole being unto God, and [so have] all who follow me!" - and ask those who have been vouchsafed revelation aforetime, as well as all unlettered people, "Have you [too] surrendered yourselves unto Him?" And if they surrender themselves unto Him, they are on the right path; but if they turn away - behold, thy duty is no more than to deliver the message: for God sees all that is in [the hearts of] His creatures. Verily, as for those who deny the truth of God's messages, and slay the prophets against all right, and slay people who enjoin equity - announce unto them a grievous chastisement. It is they whose works shall come to nought both in this world and in the life to come; and they shall have none to succour them. (19-22 / Translated by Muhammad Asad).. God said : Say, “We believe in Allah, and in what was revealed to us, and in what was revealed to Abraham, and Ishmael, and Isaac, and Jacob, and the Patriarchs, and in what was given to Moses and Jesus, and in what was given to the prophets from their Lord. We do not differentiate between any of them. And to Him, we surrender.” (2:136 / Translated by Community) Salam (Peace) ---
Or maybe tried and true. Have you seen the negative impact on society from the disappearance of the traditional feminine woman? It pays well doesn’t it?
No, tradition is the best practices that worked evolved over thousands of years. That does not mean they are infallible, but to discount them simply for being tradition is even more foolish than blindly following them. You are betting against centuries of evolved human behavior. Perhaps this person should familiarize himself with Chesterton's Fence.
Sick! We should respect and learn from what our ancestors tried to instill in us. Yeah, just throw that all away...such a disposable world we live in..disgusting!
I am an old man who has lost everything and everyone I've ever loved, but I'll never stop loving for as long as I live. Thank you for this reaffirming episode. It really touched my heart.
There is ALWAYS someone or something to love. I have also lost everyone and everything, except Love, so I love, love, love, love, love every moment. It is really nice. I wish you well.
I am so jealous of you. You had someone to love, and you still have. I have had very few people that I have loved and think that they were worth loving. People are definitely very disappointing. You trade you care, honesty for lies and world of hurt.
Lawyers are better than therapist. Almost got a divorce about 7 years ago and a meeting with a lawyer taught me more than all the sessions of therapy we went to. Oddly enough, we stuck it out and have building strong once again.
This might be the most informative and honest conversation that I've ever heard. This guy makes absolute sense that nearly ALL of us take for granted every day.
This married woman I knew got a call from a former nanny who was crying uncontrollably, when she asked her what was wrong, the nanny kept on apologizing. She said, I slept with your husband. The wife said, how can you do this to me? She said, that’s not the worse part, I have HIV. When the wife went to the hospital, she was tested positive, they had to sedate her. This woman is one of the nicest people I have ever met, her biggest mistake is life was not divorcing her husband knowing that he was sleeping with other women. Most people don’t use protection, if you find out your mate is cheating, run. Your health is more important.
I have a friend who has a similar story, but it was herpes. He was the one who cheated (ill give him a break, he was only 18 and learned his lesson, and now he's been married and madly in love with kids for a decade now). I guess I should be thankful my ex used a rubber each time she cheated. But she only used a rubber because it would be easier to hide it from me. So, bittersweet. For the woman you spoke about, thankfully HIV is no longer a death sentence, but that's like finding a silver lining in a bowl of feces...
Hello ! May Allah protect and guide you to his light and happiness in this life and the hereafter, God bless, Ameen. Excuse me for giving a little presentation of Islam, because it is very misunderstood nowadays, especially on those « Antichrist's » times, where media and politics are mixed to distort history and truth. And terrorists (puppets of the Antichrist) who misinterpret verses, out of ignorance and political motivations, and take them out of historical context (just like radical atheists do by the way) don't help either. Thank you very much for your time. First of all, if you have any questions regarding Islam and yourself, just open the Quran randomly, and you will find the answer in front of you, like a miracle and a sign from God.
Islam is an arabic word that means the Surrender to the One and Only God, our Creator, Protector, Provider, who gives us life and all that we have, we are safe and sound by his will and grace, we are His and to Him we return, and we have to thank him in this trial life by submitting to him by our free will, or later in the Day of judgment when it's too late to save our own skin. Islam was the original Religion descended to earth from heaven with Adam and Eve (peace and blessing be upon them) in the beginning of humanity. and was passed to people with the succession of the 124 000 prophets and 315 messengers of God to all nations and civilizations since, passing by Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Ismaël, Joseph, Moses, Aaron, Joshua, David, Solomon and Jesus (Peace and blessing be upon them) during the history of mankind, the last replaces and completes the previous, until the succession of the last messenger of God fourteen centuries ago, Muhammad (Peace and blessing be upon him) to complete the noble morals of all mankind, to bring humans and jinns out of darkness into light, and to purify people's religion and belief from corruption and polytheism, and return it to purity and true monotheism, like it was in the times of the prophets (Peace and blessing be upon them). Many Religions that we know nowadays, at their beginning were true and under Islam, initiated by one of the prophets of God, but their original teachings, history and scriptures have been corrupted over time with falsification and polytheism, or lost and replaced with false ones. That's why Islam is the only Religion accepted by God nowadays, which consists in bearing witness that there is no god besides Allah (God in Aramaic, the original language of Jesus and the Gospel), and that Muhammad is His servant and messenger, just like Jesus and Moses and others are His servants and messengers. Never a messenger of God said he was God or literally son of God, it was the people after him who changed the words of God and corrupted the Religion. God is unique and absolute, He does not need to have a family and sons or to associate anyone else with His kingdom, He can simply create whatever He wants, everything belongs to Him, and to Him everything will return. Allah said in Surah Al-Mu’minun : “God has never begotten a son, nor is there any god besides Him. Otherwise, each god would have taken away what it has created, and some of them would have gained supremacy over others. Glory be to God, far beyond what they describe. The Knower of the hidden and the manifest. He is exalted, far above what they associate. (91-92 / Translated by ITANI). Allah means the one and only God, the God of all prophets and creatures, the creator of the universe and mankind, and the Master of the Day of judgment, where our destiny, Hell or Paradise, is decided based on our faith and deeds in this trial life, and above all, Allah's mercy. Allah said in Surah Al-Ikhlas : In the name of God, the Gracious, the Merciful. Say, “He is God, the One. God, the Absolute. He begets not, nor was He begotten. And there is none comparable to Him.” (1-4 / Translated by ITANI). Allah said in Surah An-Nisa : O FOLLOWERS of the Gospel! Do not overstep the bounds [of truth] in your religious beliefs, and do not say of God anything but the truth. The Christ Jesus, son of Mary, was but God's Apostle - [the fulfilment of] His promise which He had conveyed unto Mary - and a soul created by Him. Believe, then, in God and His apostles, and do not say, "[God is] a trinity". Desist [from this assertion] for your own good. God is but One God; utterly remote is He, in His glory, from having a son: unto Him belongs all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth; and none is as worthy of trust as God. Never did the Christ feel too proud to be God's servant, nor do the angels who are near unto Him. And those who feel too proud to serve Him and glory in their arrogance [should know that on Judgment Day] He will gather them all unto Himself: (171-172 / Translated by Muhammad Asad). Allah the Most Merciful said in Surah Ali-Imran : Behold, the only [true] religion in the sight of God is [man's] self-surrender unto Him; and those who were vouchsafed revelation aforetime took, out of mutual jealousy, to divergent views [on this point] only after knowledge [thereof] had come unto them. But as for him who denies the truth of God's messages - behold, God is swift in reckoning! Thus, [O Prophet,] if they argue with thee, say, "I have surrendered my whole being unto God, and [so have] all who follow me!" - and ask those who have been vouchsafed revelation aforetime, as well as all unlettered people, "Have you [too] surrendered yourselves unto Him?" And if they surrender themselves unto Him, they are on the right path; but if they turn away - behold, thy duty is no more than to deliver the message: for God sees all that is in [the hearts of] His creatures. Verily, as for those who deny the truth of God's messages, and slay the prophets against all right, and slay people who enjoin equity - announce unto them a grievous chastisement. It is they whose works shall come to nought both in this world and in the life to come; and they shall have none to succour them. (19-22 / Translated by Muhammad Asad).. God said : Say, “We believe in Allah, and in what was revealed to us, and in what was revealed to Abraham, and Ishmael, and Isaac, and Jacob, and the Patriarchs, and in what was given to Moses and Jesus, and in what was given to the prophets from their Lord. We do not differentiate between any of them. And to Him, we surrender.” (2:136 / Translated by Community) Salam (Peace) ---
I think this guy is so special because he is so profoundly expressive in his speech, that he essentially blurs the line between a therapist and an attorney. He’s really something.
@@LiviuXSA yes, 100% an actor. This is such a creep. He was proud that people ended their lifes because he made their life miserable. Im guessing high functioning narcisist or a sociopath. He doesn't feel emotions, he knows how other people act when they feel emotions and he describes that.
This is by far my favorite episode of your podcast so far. James moved me to tears with his candour and his unwavering faith in love despite all the (ugly) divorces he witnessed. I would like to thank you for showing men who wear their vulnerability and emotion as a badge of honour. This takes true courage and they are incredible role model for young men who can witness what real masculinity is all about.
This man is a parasite. Divorce lawyers of his type are about the assassination of the other party.....he never once spoke about fallout about children and his responsibility to suitably balanced post split. It's a win at all costs.... hence protracted, expensive and exhausting for both parties. I wonder if he thinks about the 4 deaths on the other side. It was glossed over. What about his work in hospice? I expect behind the tears over dogs and marital lessons learned he's probably somewhat troubled.
One of the most amazing interviews I have watched. If there was ever a manual for getting married, this podcast should be a part of it. What resonated for me was James Sexton’s emotional responses to the things of BEAUTY in his life (viz: His Dogs, Loving relationships, His Father’s Love ). His insight into relationships is stunning. I have been retired for at least 8 years now, and I have found that appreciating BEAUTY in all its forms is what makes living worthwhile.
The thought of hugging someone and thinking they are gone ...and then remembering they are still there made me cry. Thank you for that, you gave something beautiful to my day.
I’m sobbing listening to this part. I lost half my family by the time I was 10. I ended up a 14 year old runaway who fell into captivity. Took me 4.5 years to escape. Spent 10 years trying to find a man to “really” love me. Spent the last 10 years taking care of my sick mother. She had 3 strokes that left her the equivalent of a 6 month old baby in an adult body. I miss hearing her talk and seeing her be the adventurous strong woman she always was. I miss her being the mom. Hearing him say all this made me realize that my whole life has been spent trying to hold on to that which I’m actively losing, just like he said. I’m gonna go hold my Angel mother tightly and make her smile that sweet smile that keeps me going. She’s my world, and I can’t imagine this world without her in it.
@@yogawitch3 It's not his degree in psychology. He has a basic intellectual understanding of human nature, especially flawed human nature. He is truly empathic, a rare gift or talent if you prefer. And, so importantly, he loves his dog. People who don't love their dogs, or don't understand what wonderful creatures dogs are with their consummate devotion to their "owners" are devoid of a trait which could bring them peace and quiet happiness. He is also of course extremely intelligent which heightens his perception of others. Also he comprehends that we, as a community, an assembly of social beings, have outlived the "need" for marriage. It was a coupling that was necessary to nurture offspring which we treat as possessions. He is also profoundly pragmatic. He is an admirable, worthy human being. I would like to meet him.
"I have an infinite capacity for love, no matter what I lose, cause we are losing all, all the time, but that's not a reason to not to love" one of the best episodes so far!
@@stereo-soulsoundsystem5070 stupid is as stupid talks haha (yes, you. the quote up there is just wonderful and if you think its stupid, you probably are a kid or have really no clue about how life works)
I had to STOP the video to cry, make tea, ponder, cry, savor and survive the truth of that one sentence, "I have an infinite capacity for love, no matter what I lose." I had to sit and allow the healing, the washing-clean, pouring light transmission directly from the Heart of God through my Soul; I lost my mom at 5, my dad at 11, my mind at 16, my hope at 19, my homes, every year, all my life, always moving on, seeking what love could do to heal my heart and shine through me, in a healthy way, my adoptive father at 52, (to porn, heart attack; true, it is a thing, he was 64), + 3 months later, ... my lil 27-yr.-o. Sis (to Heroin + flesh-eating bacteria someone shot her up into a hole due to that; true; frightening),at 52, my adoptive mom at 56, my family home of 51 years at 59, my willingness to accept any traces of abuse and disrespect at 50. I am now 60. I leave a wake of shock behind me, as I address any lack of loving, because I know what love is, and I carry and share it freely. I deserve and accept nothing less. I had no idea what respect was until Ger Lyons (gerlyons.net) helped me heal all my confusion, in 14 years of training in Celtic Mysticism; Ger Lyons Global Healing Events. (He's Irish, and he knows.) I am so grateful for this sharing. The wisdom, the profound truths, the laughs that were equally healing, the sweetness of the truth about Love from a man who has seen marriage fail solely due to the failure of loving, never of Love, this is everything. I am bowing to this exchange. You both are making the world a better place. I have already Subscribed. Love has never failed. Aloha, Claire
As a divorce mediator who has worked wiith Jim, I can say that he Is, in practice, exactly as he seems...sincere, kind, smart and integritous. I agree with every word he says!
@@jollymollyramram9702Because Jim is the diminutive or short version of James. Just as Bob is the short version of Robert. This is a very typical American thing done with names.
One thing that I like about your podcast is that you let your guests talk most of the time, during the entire course of your podcast. You yourself are knowledgeable in a lot of topics, have experiences of your own, yet you don’t interject or interfere while your guests share their response to your questions. Thanks for such great podcasts!
This is so validating to watch. This man says the things I’ve said before and have been met with odd looks or “is not that serious” and like he said, “how can you think about death all the time”. Life is SO short, TOO short, to let the small things ruin your relationships.
For someone who spends his days seperating families this guy is incredibly sensitive and a romantic at heart. A very compelling speaker. Exceptionally engaging talk
1. My beliefs doesn't require that you belive them. I don't need you to believe the same thing I do, just to prove my belief. 2. Prenup - is like preparing for a fight. I hope it doesn't happen, but in case it does I better be ready 3. There are so many day-to-day things that we are feeling we are not doing well enough based on nothing. Compare to what? Social media? 4. Hit send now 5. Pay attention towards your feelings and your partner's. And say it 6. All relationship problems from 2 things: "I don't know what I want and I don't know how to express it" 7. Never compare your partner to that perfect image in your head 8. We have infinite capacity for love. And although we will lost everyone we love, and it will break our hearts it's worth it, it's not the reason not to love.
agreed. specially point 7. you better ask yourself why you married your partner in the first place, what brought you to that decision.. or was it a perfect picture in your head? if it is, you shouldn't have married that partner because that picture in your head, doesn't change compared to your partner.
I didn't think of it as sacrifice, until her attorney tried to take everything and leave me in poverty. It didn't work, for various reasons. But he did try, and the love of my life was right there supporting those actions.
When asked about Love; Ayn Rand once said true love is a truly selfish emotion where one gives to the one they love with “selfish pleasure” meaning, anything I do for the one I love I do so selfishly and with a grin on my face… thus making the more socially accepted concept of love as a “selfless sacrifice” seem more like a moral duty one feels has to be carried out due to some religious or social-cultural precept rather than because you actually want to…
Yep. The remarry 86% is because we all believe we are not the problem. So finding another perfect person will ensure you are divorce proof. The divorce rate is even higher there. People who successfully remarry are those who have truly introspected, most of whom it is seems go back to their original spouses and remarry them. Marriage boils down to self introspection and self development.
I was married for close to 28 years. I lost my teeth, my physical and mental health and have been trying to get well for 14 years. I filed for divorce last year.
@@simplyblessed7036your situation poses a very important question of when is the best time to move on, regardless of reasons to bare the pain (children, finances, etc) when is enough... enough?!
Before I got married my parents told me if I did not get a prenuptial agreement they would take me out of their will. It took the pressure off me. I am so glad they insisted.
That's how I know that you're a son. No matter how rich a woman is and how poor a man, the woman ALWAYS wins in any divorce suit. Divorce is designed to appease women and girls.
@@melissabryant2251you example does not negate the post you are responding to. You ex. Took the money and probably hid it before the proceedings. Regardless, a bummer that happened
@RothieMay no doubt. But if I were to cry about something like this it would probably cause my girlfriend to leave me. So there are very good reasons why I am different.
Is this man a trained journalist? How come he interviews better than all the journalists out there? He lets his guests get their full points across with no interruptions. I can't believe I watched the whole interview
A trained journalist wants to dig for controversy & appear intelligent. Whereas non-journalists are actually interested in listening and learning. He can’t be trained.
I bet you have never had someone on your podcast whose thoughts rolled of their tongue as quickly as his did. He is truly an expert. Excellent podcast. So authentic. So down to earth.
@@judy-annmcneill1037 anyone who is interviewed a lot - Jordan Peterson et al you will notice they say the same things, sometimes in a different way over and over again. If one thinks about it, it's only to be expected if they are interviewed so many times. I don't mind if they say the same things because often there is so much wisdom that we need to listen to them repeatedly to take it all in.
"My beliefs don't require that you believe them" is one of the best things I've heard recently so much so that it puts so many things into perspective. Thank you!
I haven’t gotten there yet in the episode but it’s so true! It makes me so sad a lot of people cannot talk to someone that disagrees with them. My dad is very liberal and my mom is very conservative, I’m so happy I grew up getting to hear both. My husband and I don’t always agree on politics or religion. But we both find each other really smart and genuinely love hearing how the other one thinks, even if we think about the topic in a different way. I’ve never felt judged for my beliefs with him. I’ve never judged him for his beliefs. I love hearing a new, well thought out perspective from my husband. It’d be so boring if we thought the same way about everything.
@@Olivia-bl8ez It’s so true but I haven’t found many people in my life who can be so secure in their skin and beliefs that they can hear what others have to say without getting offended over it. So happy you two found each other and can be your true selves around each other.
@@imnotdavidxnsx Yes at times but not always. I categorise my beliefs and my personal beliefs don’t require validation from others but my social beliefs might because I would to find people who believe in the same things as I do.
@@zunairaakbar1214 hopefully your young and your friends can grow into it. Or maybe you can be the catalyst. I’m sure your friends are great but maybe keep your eye out for more open minded friends too lol. Most people are not to the extreme with things, just gotta find them. Best of luck ❤️
I knew a guy who was married for 50 years but was hitting on me unbeknownst to his wife. I asked him why won't he divorce his wife if he is hitting on me. He said because she would get "my money".
I watch your shows regularly; they are one of the very few. Social media is NOT my thing. Most of the interviews are very valuable, absolutely loaded with wisdom, knowledge and a multiplicity of new ways to apply and reflect on even heretofore known concepts. Much to my surprise, James Sexton a divorce lawyer, moved me to tears and a profound appreciation of the brevity, beauty and depth of love in all of it"s forms. Thank you for having him.
I thought, "I'm not going to enjoy this talk about cheating and divorces"... OMG! This has nothing to do with that (well, it does, obviously). There's SO much more to this conversation! So much empathy, so much love and care... I've loved every single second. Plus, his communication skills are superb. Thanks!! ❤
same. i've been single all my life. been battling severe poverty in my youth living in homeless shelters, struggling just to get to school, having to deal with a single parent that's mentally ill, later on i've had to deal with very abusive and toxic workplaces, to developing 2 chronic illnesses into my 30s, and still dealing with them in my 50's and losing the single parent and friend i had my entire life. i watch this video for entertainment value, because i know, i guarantee, i will never experience any of this. and thank goodness. this level of stress would end me. he gets so emotional...is it because of money loss? its clearly not because she was cheating on him. the word love is thrown around for some reason.
Don’t let it discourage you to find a life partner. The goal of life is to pass down the genes to the next generation. The purpose of marriage is to ensure that children have a stable home and family so they can grow up to be positive forces in a society. Don’t let the cynicism or selfishness of others deter you from having a beautiful family with kids.
This man is phenomenal. He is out of this world!!! I was not expecting to cry or to receive so much wisdom. I think we as people can forget that the people that we love will eventually die one day. We will all die one day. Once a person experiences so much loss, it breaks their heart. Heartbreak is painful. Which in return makes a person afraid to love again. This is why he said that it is brave to love. This was so good on so many levels. He definitely needs to be a marriage therapist on the side as well. I’m a therapist and I’m going to start referring clients to watch this video when they are having marital problems. This is my first time watching this podcast- 10/10.
The best part of this interview is James talking about His dogs and the love of his pets. The love of his mother. Speaking about hearing her voice again for the first time after she past 8 years ago. How his dad pulled out an old video and them hearing her familiar voice. His perspective of love. Very beautiful outlook. How we forget how important it is to love someone or our pets. How heartbreaking it is for us but having the joy of them makes us feel alive, how important it really is to have love.
Wise words from a man who has seen a few nasty divorces. One thing is certain: we all die one day. But if you have someone to comfort you, to hold your hand and you can be there for them. "What a worthy pursuit!" That is something to remember.
Or you can have someone who doesn’t know how to behave in public sneering, being controlling, and low voice yelling at you while you’re trying to enjoy yourself; so you have to pinch the skin on the back of their arm until they behave.
@@Tunsmandieeww a pessimist. Eugh brother eugh 😂. It's not too emotional, it's purpose. Love like many things can carry us through life. You know the points between birth in death. Also to put the nail in that coffin of your born alone and die alone. Most people are usually born to a loving mother. And if you're lucky, die with those you love or protecting them. 🤠
I divorced after 13 years of marriage. To be sincere, at the bottomless pit of every failed marriage is dishonest communication. If we can be 100% open and create an environment for that to continue without judgements, many marriages will be saved.This is pure enlightenment. Thank you.
All this talk about communication but what exactly does it involve? How is it measured? When can one know that it’s effective or successful communication?
@@Jamesbaldwin44 makes sense and how often is this done to be considered healthy? Maybe that’s up to the individual couple but I’m sure there are principles involved in communication that can be applied generically and be effective when made specific with deductive reasoning. I ask this because there has been many people I’ve spoken to and communication was huge to them but when boiled down to specifics, past just the word, with given scenarios it’s mostly blank expression that follows.
I didn't know anything about James Sexron. We naturally have a negative view of lawyers, especially divorce lawyers, but this has got to be THE BEST interview, yet Wow, my mind is just blown.
@@007nadineL No he isnot. Those who marry do have yin yang, but life changes, new people come into the scene, people have problems, drinking, gambling, sexual dysfuntion...
The majority of us have the worse opinion of attorneys but this guy broke the mold. He is a genuine human being, a very rare jewel. Thank you for showing us hope for a human lawyer.
Very rarely I leave a comment under the video but this gentleman said so many reasonable and logic things that I want to say "thank you " to him and the host. Subscribed
I got divorced from my first wife. Re-married, and we have been together now for over 20 years. Yes, THIS TIME IT TRULY IS DIFFERENT! I learned from the mistakes I made the first time. I have two sons and a wonderful wife. We have been through good times, bad times, and everything else inbetween. So yes, re-marrying was the best thing I ever did, but only because I really did learn from my mistakes.
@@ngsy8193 Make sure that you are compatible with your wife. Make sure that you have a solid foundation in communication before you get married. These two mistakes doomed my first marriage. My marriage now has lasted for over 25 years, still going, because I learned these lessons well.
Well I did it twice - marriage is fantastic if you can have a good one, but the chances of that nowadays are slim. The way society is today is not conducive to a marriage lasting…..
@@rufdymond Dating apps and social media has allowed people to cast a much wider net on potential mates. The better more perfect one is just around the corner...
Statistically its like walking up to a roulette wheel and picking one number and winning on the first spin. Just because you won doesn't mean that gambling is a good idea.
Been married for over 40 years. Thoroughly enjoy being in love with my husband. We both work on being the best version of ourselves, physically, mentally and emotionally and never take one and other for granted.
@@blueburdie6953 those doubts are more a modern day thing where social media/dating apps give you more options. Thinking that you can do better. That wasnt around 40 years ago
This is excellent. Show up as your best self. If you fail, try again. This reminds of something I once heard, "Never compare yourself to others, only compare yourself to who you were yesterday." ❤
I’m 53 years old. On my second marriage and honestly have been taking my wonderful wife for granted. This man just CHANGED my life for the better. Best guest on here EVER🙏
I wish my long term boyfriend could see this. We are finally walking away. I felt so deprived for so long. And he felt so confused for so long. If he came to me and said I have neglected you and I’m here to try. I’d literally weep and welcome it. Good luck
@@tiffanyburke2785Some are oblivious to their mistakes. Sometimes you just gotta speak up and be blunt. Or as the saying goes "closed mouths don't get fed"
@@tiffanyburke2785"long term boyfriend" sounds weird coming from an adult that's if u are, if not then that kind of makes sense. That's what teenagers say and do.
I fell in love with this episode when the guy gave the dog analogy. Then he went into "Happy Wife, Happy Life" and having kids is the definition of cancer. I was standing up cheering! Best ever!!
I want to put a warning out to all those who stumble on this amazing episode and are about to listen to it during the work day; wait until after work. It's so full of wisdom, but also it'll bring you to tears if you've ever loved a dog. I've had to cancel a meeting because I'm a mess rn. What an incredible 2 hours.
My dog turns 16 next month and I wouldn't trade him for any puppy in the world. He hit the nail on the head. I love this little guy more and more every day.
This is hard conmen to right because genuinely this guy is absolutely brilliant and has many gems of knowledge.. but one thing he hasn’t figured out is that a lot of the time saturating yourself into your work and career and not developing your own partner connection because you are too caught up in your career is the reason so many successful people don’t actually have good chemistry and connection with there partners.. take a fucking step back for a second and put some energy into your partner
im at 1:35 so far. I want to note, that, we can evolve with a spouse. Ive been with mine 10ish years. But we have experienced so much together (moved countries, mental issues) that our personalities are almost changed. Remember to not be scared of change, see it, talk about it, learn about it, and grow together. its also important.
'People bring different things to the table. I think love is also an economy, the giving and taking of value. It can be incredibly symbiotic and rewarding'. Brilliantly put
What a beautiful conversation! This is a man who obviously employs strategy, practicality, and logic in his day to day work, but he also feels so much and thinks through his and other people's emotions so deeply. Truly a beautiful, multifaceted person.
One thing I learned from my divorce is to only be with someone whose happiness come from themselves. If they expect someone else to make them happy, run far, far away from the person. They are trying to fill that void with a person, material things or something else that will not sustain a relationship. Truly happy people don't need outside things to make them feel complete or whole it comes from themselves. Broken people think oh if I only lived in this type of house, or drove this type of car, or made this type of money or was in a relationship with this type of person THEN I will be happy! It doesn't work that way because they need to fix their own shit that is causing them to seek happiness outside of themselves. Stay far away from someone like that because no matter what you do, you can not fix someone, they have to put in the work, not you.
Oh for sure. The line I love is “I am not responsible for your happiness” . Forget who said it but it’s powerful because there are toxic people out there. They can only fix themselves and stop blaming others
I agree, I met someone like this and he cheated on me and left me, was back within months and cheated again. His unhappiness was within him and couldn’t be fixed by others outside. It took me a while to realise this and not blame myself, it nearly cost me my sanity. Not worth the cost.
This guy is one of the most philosophical lawyers I've ever met. He's worth whatever he charges, what a brilliant man. Learning about love from a divorce lawyer.
I, being almost 66 and married for 42 years, strongly believe that althoug mariage is seldom a bed of roses and there are many issues along the way and we did think of having a divorce several times, we could, as a couple, survive those hard times by staying respactful, honest and sincere. We never scolded each other nor did we get abusive or cheat. We did yell at times of course and slammed the door harder than neccesary. And now in our "old" age, still being together, we enjoy each others company, accepting our differences because the memory of the past was not ruined by abusive behavior. I am glad we overcame those times because althoug I do not believe in the concept of "a" soulmate, I do feel he and I are now soulmates. Love your channel!
I think this is what is missing from a lot of modern marriages - the tenacity to work through conflict, and conflict that can last YEARS! I’m not talking about cheating or abuse obviously. I was lucky enough to have a 10 year relationship throughout my 20s and although it ended when I turned 32… I had enough perspective to know that there were years where we weren’t getting along.. and then years that we were as close as anything. The perspective to see that a rough patch does not mean failure all the time. I’m so glad you got to find your soulmate.
This episode was insightful. But one question remains, sure many people need sex but what happens when there's just no way to make time (in between financial & health crisises or kids, lack of privacy , hormonal changes, responsibilities,just living life and doing other better things together and more) just because you're not having sex it's not just being a roommate Because a roommate wouldn't do all the things that a spouse (regardless of gender) does for you "from earning money,taking care of kids,sharing chores, supporting each other in hard times like health/financial issues and more) even without the sex. - So are people just supposed to ditch their spouses because of changes in their libido? Because as people get older while some people keep the sex life, others are happy without the sex life too (I've asked people that are fine being romantic but not necessarily having sex for years), and only thing that annoys some of those couples is that people think they can't be happy without sex so they end up feeling forced to question if something is really wrong with them. There are also asexuals. Imo main question people should ask before marriage even before pre-nups is how important is sex to them and what happens when changes happen.
Example of preventive measures: 1. Couples counseling 2. Practicing honesty 3. Reminding each other of your agreement 4. Not doing things to sabotage- and naming what those things are
Couple’s counseling is important but the earlier you go in the relationship the better because the majority of the time when couples decide to go it is already too late.
This podcast is a public service. Anyone considering marriage or thinking about ending one should listen to it. It’s the best relationship coaching I’ve ever encountered-WOW! Simply the best ever. Thank you, Steve, for this opportunity, and thank you, Dr. Sexton, for generously sharing your wisdom and knowledge with all of us. That was great!
@@bv3635 With as much respect that you can get from my response, I disagree. WISDOM is advice from people who have learned thru pain so you don't have to.
G. K. Chesterton said tradition is the democracy of the dead. It is saying we value their opinion and experience and wisdom. Not that we need to do everything their way. But that they at least get a vote.
Wow! This man had me crying when he talked about love . He is a very intelligent person and has trully picked up the most important lessons life has to offer! Thank-you for having him on your show!
My ex-husband had an airtight prenup. I signed it because i loved him and our chances for the future. He was more than generous in our divorce. I will always be grateful to him for that and so much more.
you loved him and your chances for the future; what happened, are you happier because the marriage failed, and he was generous in the divorce, you rather just be grateful for the generosity rather than stay together?
@@slayer7682 Just a suggestion. Is it possible that you openly attack cases of peaceful divorce cos you believe in Disney type marriages only and want to punish anyone who dares to break it for you?
Where's the fun in cheating on your spouse and you get an STI and then give it to your spouse. Cheating is playing Russian Roulette with your health and your spouse's health.
The talk with his son was worth the price of admission alone. "If I compare you to my ideal son, you suck!" -haha...great advice...stop comparing people to your ideal. Oh, and the pizza story was the best.
1:07:19 pay attention: “all marital problems stem from 2 things.. I don’t know what I want , and I don’t know how to express it”………COMMUNICATION IS KEY. Talk and voice your needs.
@beepbopboop7727 he talks about prioritising our needs. Easier said than done. Women have more responsibilities when it comes to their family. It's even worse when they have to work.
I don’t know that I have ever seen/heard a more profound, powerful, enlightening interview in my life. This man…his raw insights and ability to unravel the complexity of life blows my mind.
What a great conversation! So true. From the first day after we met, we talked every day for at least 10 hours for 14 days. After that, we decided to stay together forever. We had an absolutely great time together. We also had to get through difficult times together due to external circumstances, and not just once. We kept our promise to each other. The love of my life for 42 years received the terrible diagnosis of Alzheimer's a few years ago. As we have always stood by each other and been open and honest with each other, we will also get through this situation. Openness and honesty, even when it hurts, are the be-all and end-all of a relationship.
Inulin reverses Alzheimer's. High intensity exercise, niacin, NAC, iboga, loveyhuasca, simply a clean diet, lots of things can. Don't listen to mainstream doctors who have never done one bit of research
Wow, congratulations on your lifelong comittment, and good of you to take it seriously. I hope I have the chance for that before I die, but the older you get, the slimmer the chances.
Thank you all for watching, if you could do me a favour, hit the like button on the video if you liked this conversation! It’s a topic I’ve never covered so hoping you liked it ❤
You couldn't even make it through the intro without blaspheming the Lord Jesus. If you really think you should be publicly blaspheming then be bold and do the same to Islam's Muhammad.
your a joy to listen too and love your content!
Love the new lighting and depth of field. I love listening to this guy and have seem him multiple times. In a way it seems strange because I am still deeply in love with my wife after 27 years together. It is a multicultural marriage with a 20 year age gap but if anything it has gotten better over the years. Perhaps it is because I pay attention to the things he talks about and continue to hone my relationship skills despite being together for so long.
Man, you have the most interesting and engaging podcast I've watched. Very great work bud!!
One of your most enlightening and thought provoking guests yet so far. Successful, long term relationships are far and few between. Personally? I would never even attempt such a tumultuous endeavor. Great speaker. Great discussion. Wonderful channel. ❤
My grandfather passed away last year after 78 years of marriage. Upon learning he had terminal cancer and no more than 3 months to live, he started crying and said “Who’s going to take care of my wife after I’m gone?”
That is the mindset of someone with a long-term successful marriage.
Yup. My grandparents were married for over 60 years. While he was dying, one of his biggest concerns was who would take care of my grandmother. They don't seem to make them like that anymore, and if they do, they are rare!!
Yes. I am 83. My husband and the love of my life died in my arms two years ago after 61 years of marriage. It was not a perfect marriage. I swear, every 7 or 8 years, it changed drastically, sometimes for the good, sometimes bad. We made many mistakes. But we loved each other, and we loved each other’s families, and we adored our children. So we endured…until the next change. The old poem is right: “Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be, the last of life for which the first was made.”
@@teddieryan2288brilliant, God bless you (and Chuck) for sharing this.
What is the purpose of marriage?
This atty shouldn't have this interview, unless the value of him promoting his service outweighs the aidjence he dissuades to avoid marriage. He wouldn't consider this on small following channel.
For a divorce lawyer, dude is giving better relationship advice than relationship coaches. Great episode.🙌🏾
Yup 👍
What book is it & what's the name of the lawyer author pls? TY
He’s was performing…hug your dog and smell him😭
@@Dmode-pq6gf yeah got ridiculous towards the end lol. NGL
He is wrong about the "happy wife, happy marriage" tho.
“It is so brave to love.” So many quotable moments…this conversation is one of my all time favorites.
Me too!😊
I’ve been brave and burned down several times…makes you want to only love yourself! I like this lawyer..he actually emotes!
Yes, you are so right!! James Sexton was brilliant though at first I was skeptical. As I continued to listen I realized some things about myself. He shared so much information and I know it would have made me stop and think about my own relationships, but I’m hearing it now and it’s okay. Excellent conversation Steven and James🥰. I recommend this episode to anyone thinking about marriage or partnership…it opened my eyes!!!
He has another interview as equally profound with minimal duplication. Idk if it’s allowed for me to post the channel, but it was 9 mos ago. This guy has a lot of unique and interesting things to say. Worth listening to both interviews in full.
I was posing the video just so I could write down some ( most) of his thoughts
In our Catholic tradition, couples are required to attend marriage counseling before getting married. I still vividly remember an elderly gentleman with over 50 years of experience in marriage counseling who walked to the front of a room filled with about 20 aspiring couples. He stood silently, intently observing each pair, and after what felt like an eternity, he finally spoke:
"With my 50 years of experience in marriage counseling, I can confidently say that none of your marriages will work-not a single one."
The room fell into stunned silence. Then, with a cheeky grin, he added:
"It will work ONLY if you make it work. Otherwise, by design, it’s not meant to."
Very true
Yeah but its through the church and not very intense. They are more concerned about how your marriage and adhere to Catholic traditions. They dont get down to issues such as finances, pre nups and such as a private marriage counselor
50 years of experience? That's laughable. That man had ZERO years of experience in real life marriage since he was NEVER married. He was unqualified to give you or anyone in that room any advice.
@@thejonpaulshow3116 its likke saying a football coach can only be a good coach if hes a football player
@@thejonpaulshow3116 What makes you think he is not married, he is almost 90 and married for over 65 years. Looks not a day older than 50.
My husband leaves me notes on my computer before he leaves to work. I put notes in his lunch. His coworkers laugh but I can’t imagine my life without him
That screams insecurity and that you constantly need reassurance. What you gonna do if your partner gets bored of writing these notes, have a melt down?
This is so sweet!
That’s really nice….realizing early that it’s the little things will take you far.
@@imconfused1237 No silly, its the little continuous gestures that solidify a partnership. Think of how all other animals that form solid couples do small bond reinforcing gestures on a daily basis, oftentimes several times a day (grooming, chatting, cuddling and on)! Nature itself tells us these little gestures go far and are important!
@@imconfused1237 say you don’t understand how women operate without saying you don’t know how women operate lol.
This guy said something really profound. "The reason why I never wanted to be famous is because the praise of strangers never really appealed to me" Let that sink in
Yet still did it anyway
And you'd have to deal with fans constantly approaching you in public.
That's why 'famous' people should hold on to friends they made before they became famous
@artvandelay3922 Did he do it...or his career did it without his consent... some decisions we never know they will put us in the public eye... that's why some actors choose to leave the industry.. because the fame is too much... and some are famous but live such quiet lives, only to pop up, make a movie and disappear again...
Profound? When something sounds good but lacks in logic it is often referred to as sophistry. Another term that can be used is 'specious reasoning', which refers to statements that appear plausible on the surface but are actually flawed - in this see case his actions or inactions in this regard bely his truths.
“People who have true joy in their relationship really don’t feel like they have to advertise it.”
Fact 💯
time stamp?
I’ve been in a couple with some advertisers and it literally makes me sick to my stomach. Nothing makes me feel like shit more than someone who wasn’t satisfied enough with me, so they had to make up for it by searching for praise and acknowledgment from people they don’t even care enough about to spend time with.
This is why I don't understand why some couples are glued to posting online, why do you want everything in your life broadcast..
@@renfri5233 Seeking validation for an unfulfilled life. Instead of dealing with their own issues.
Some extra specific points that resonated: -
34:50 emotional affair
47:06 negative spiral
1:04:09 the "real" job of a divorce lawyer
1:07:33 all marital problems stem from this
1:08:29 why he's expensive wow great answer
1:25:00 we are always losing everyone all the time
1:28:13 mindfulness exercise - hug
1:39:02 reframing success in a relationship
Hello ! May Allah protect and guide you to his light and happiness in this life and the hereafter, God bless, Ameen. Excuse me for giving a little presentation of Islam, because it is very misunderstood nowadays, especially on those « Antichrist's » times, where media and politics are mixed to distort history and truth. And terrorists (puppets of the Antichrist) who misinterpret verses, out of ignorance and political motivations, and take them out of historical context (just like radical atheists do by the way) don't help either. Thank you very much for your time.
First of all, if you have any questions regarding Islam and yourself, just open the Quran randomly, and you will find the answer in front of you, like a miracle and a sign from God.
Islam is an arabic word that means the Surrender to the One and Only God, our Creator, Protector, Provider, who gives us life and all that we have, we are safe and sound by his will and grace, we are His and to Him we return, and we have to thank him in this trial life by submitting to him by our free will, or later in the Day of judgment when it's too late to save our own skin. Islam was the original Religion descended to earth from heaven with Adam and Eve (peace and blessing be upon them) in the beginning of humanity. and was passed to people with the succession of the 124 000 prophets and 315 messengers of God to all nations and civilizations since, passing by Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Ismaël, Joseph, Moses, Aaron, Joshua, David, Solomon and Jesus (Peace and blessing be upon them) during the history of mankind, the last replaces and completes the previous, until the succession of the last messenger of God fourteen centuries ago, Muhammad (Peace and blessing be upon him) to complete the noble morals of all mankind, to bring humans and jinns out of darkness into light, and to purify people's religion and belief from corruption and polytheism, and return it to purity and true monotheism, like it was in the times of the prophets (Peace and blessing be upon them).
Many Religions that we know nowadays, at their beginning were true and under Islam, initiated by one of the prophets of God, but their original teachings, history and scriptures have been corrupted over time with falsification and polytheism, or lost and replaced with false ones. That's why Islam is the only Religion accepted by God nowadays, which consists in bearing witness that there is no god besides Allah (God in Aramaic, the original language of Jesus and the Gospel), and that Muhammad is His servant and messenger, just like Jesus and Moses and others are His servants and messengers. Never a messenger of God said he was God or literally son of God, it was the people after him who changed the words of God and corrupted the Religion. God is unique and absolute, He does not need to have a family and sons or to associate anyone else with His kingdom, He can simply create whatever He wants, everything belongs to Him, and to Him everything will return. Allah said in Surah Al-Mu’minun : “God has never begotten a son, nor is there any god besides Him. Otherwise, each god would have taken away what it has created, and some of them would have gained supremacy over others. Glory be to God, far beyond what they describe. The Knower of the hidden and the manifest. He is exalted, far above what they associate. (91-92 / Translated by ITANI).
Allah means the one and only God, the God of all prophets and creatures, the creator of the universe and mankind, and the Master of the Day of judgment, where our destiny, Hell or Paradise, is decided based on our faith and deeds in this trial life, and above all, Allah's mercy.
Allah said in Surah Al-Ikhlas : In the name of God, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Say, “He is God, the One. God, the Absolute. He begets not, nor was He begotten. And there is none comparable to Him.” (1-4 / Translated by ITANI).
Allah said in Surah An-Nisa : O FOLLOWERS of the Gospel! Do not overstep the bounds [of truth] in your religious beliefs, and do not say of God anything but the truth. The Christ Jesus, son of Mary, was but God's Apostle - [the fulfilment of] His promise which He had conveyed unto Mary - and a soul created by Him. Believe, then, in God and His apostles, and do not say, "[God is] a trinity". Desist [from this assertion] for your own good. God is but One God; utterly remote is He, in His glory, from having a son: unto Him belongs all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth; and none is as worthy of trust as God. Never did the Christ feel too proud to be God's servant, nor do the angels who are near unto Him. And those who feel too proud to serve Him and glory in their arrogance [should know that on Judgment Day] He will gather them all unto Himself: (171-172 / Translated by Muhammad Asad).
Allah the Most Merciful said in Surah Ali-Imran : Behold, the only [true] religion in the sight of God is [man's] self-surrender unto Him; and those who were vouchsafed revelation aforetime took, out of mutual jealousy, to divergent views [on this point] only after knowledge [thereof] had come unto them. But as for him who denies the truth of God's messages - behold, God is swift in reckoning!
Thus, [O Prophet,] if they argue with thee, say, "I have surrendered my whole being unto God, and [so have] all who follow me!" - and ask those who have been vouchsafed revelation aforetime, as well as all unlettered people, "Have you [too] surrendered yourselves unto Him?" And if they surrender themselves unto Him, they are on the right path; but if they turn away - behold, thy duty is no more than to deliver the message: for God sees all that is in [the hearts of] His creatures.
Verily, as for those who deny the truth of God's messages, and slay the prophets against all right, and slay people who enjoin equity - announce unto them a grievous chastisement.
It is they whose works shall come to nought both in this world and in the life to come; and they shall have none to succour them.
(19-22 / Translated by Muhammad Asad)..
God said : Say, “We believe in Allah, and in what was revealed to us, and in what was revealed to Abraham, and Ishmael, and Isaac, and Jacob, and the Patriarchs, and in what was given to Moses and Jesus, and in what was given to the prophets from their Lord. We do not differentiate between any of them. And to Him, we surrender.”
(2:136 / Translated by Community)
Salam (Peace) ---
Thank you!
Best comment ever.
thank you for that
🎉
I clicked because he's a divorce lawyer. I stayed because he's an awesome human.
That's profound
Why do people here think he's so awesome? I seriously don't get it lol.
Justifying affairs is far from being awesome lol.
He is not saying it is right or moral. @@masculinityproject3183
@@masculinityproject3183he didn’t justify it. Listen carefully. As someone with an undergrad in Psychology too, he was giving insight to the way humans justify their actions. He didn’t necessarily agree.
He got me with the “hug them and think about this being the last hug you are able to give them, then, remember they are still here…” I want to go give my mom a hug.
That was so very touching to me too. ☺️
I want to give my dad a hug
I'll never forget giving my first ex gf that hug and her not knowing why validated that pain
I think being a funeral director is similar in this. I grew up and my father was a fd and I worked as one as well.
Seeing others deepest regrets and joys day in day out you either become inured to it or sensitized.
I hug my children so tight every day and take a deep breath of how they smell and feel and remember them right now before they are the new them tomorrow. On the days I do forget when I realize I forgot I tear up.
Yes, that hit me too. I wish I could give my mum and dad a hug right now, but they are gone.
"white teeth and rotting gums" is one of the best descriptions of social media I've ever heard
Indeed
My mother used to say 'all fur coat and no knickers' - also implying, I thought, a distinct lack of morality.
Big hat, no cattle.
Guy should be the star guest in your wedding.
When my millionaire husband didn’t want a prenup, I knew something was wrong. It ended up being wide scale tax evasion. Be careful. I fled the marriage. I didn’t even show up in court.
A man who is full of wisdom.
I cried at the last question. True love is not always saying I love you, true love is an action word. His right LOVE is a verb.
Did not expect that the most beautiful thing I would watch today would be an interview with a divorce attorney.
Honestly
nah fr, what a wild ride. I felt my heart grow by several sizes after watching this video
What insight into our human condition!
Right lol
Right? Like even his response to "gold diggers" sounded wholesome
He is such a good storyteller. Passionate, empathetic with a wit. And he is not afraid to show emotion. Love this conversation.
That's why he's a persuasive, successful lawyer
If I were on a jury I bet I'd be voting his way... 😅
He srsly really is that good, I'm so here for it
An actor
@@virtualtraveler2024I’m that passionate when I speak of certain things that trigger, he just happens to be an attorney earning a decent living.
There is another interview with him on Soft White Underbelly channel. Thats a good one too
One of the best guests you've ever had. No BS. No coddling. No walking on eggshells. Just straight facts. Like full-grown ADULTS should be.
This is the first podcast i am hearing. What others did you find worth this quality.
Nothing worse than walking on eggshells!
@@SHiVaMRULZ90 here to ask the same question!!
Hello ! May Allah protect and guide you to his light and happiness in this life and the hereafter, God bless, Ameen. Excuse me for giving a little presentation of Islam, because it is very misunderstood nowadays, especially on those « Antichrist's » times, where media and politics are mixed to distort history and truth. And terrorists (puppets of the Antichrist) who misinterpret verses, out of ignorance and political motivations, and take them out of historical context (just like radical atheists do by the way) don't help either. Thank you very much for your time.
First of all, if you have any questions regarding Islam and yourself, just open the Quran randomly, and you will find the answer in front of you, like a miracle and a sign from God.
Islam is an arabic word that means the Surrender to the One and Only God, our Creator, Protector, Provider, who gives us life and all that we have, we are safe and sound by his will and grace, we are His and to Him we return, and we have to thank him in this trial life by submitting to him by our free will, or later in the Day of judgment when it's too late to save our own skin. Islam was the original Religion descended to earth from heaven with Adam and Eve (peace and blessing be upon them) in the beginning of humanity. and was passed to people with the succession of the 124 000 prophets and 315 messengers of God to all nations and civilizations since, passing by Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Ismaël, Joseph, Moses, Aaron, Joshua, David, Solomon and Jesus (Peace and blessing be upon them) during the history of mankind, the last replaces and completes the previous, until the succession of the last messenger of God fourteen centuries ago, Muhammad (Peace and blessing be upon him) to complete the noble morals of all mankind, to bring humans and jinns out of darkness into light, and to purify people's religion and belief from corruption and polytheism, and return it to purity and true monotheism, like it was in the times of the prophets (Peace and blessing be upon them).
Many Religions that we know nowadays, at their beginning were true and under Islam, initiated by one of the prophets of God, but their original teachings, history and scriptures have been corrupted over time with falsification and polytheism, or lost and replaced with false ones. That's why Islam is the only Religion accepted by God nowadays, which consists in bearing witness that there is no god besides Allah (God in Aramaic, the original language of Jesus and the Gospel), and that Muhammad is His servant and messenger, just like Jesus and Moses and others are His servants and messengers. Never a messenger of God said he was God or literally son of God, it was the people after him who changed the words of God and corrupted the Religion. God is unique and absolute, He does not need to have a family and sons or to associate anyone else with His kingdom, He can simply create whatever He wants, everything belongs to Him, and to Him everything will return. Allah said in Surah Al-Mu’minun : “God has never begotten a son, nor is there any god besides Him. Otherwise, each god would have taken away what it has created, and some of them would have gained supremacy over others. Glory be to God, far beyond what they describe. The Knower of the hidden and the manifest. He is exalted, far above what they associate. (91-92 / Translated by ITANI).
Allah means the one and only God, the God of all prophets and creatures, the creator of the universe and mankind, and the Master of the Day of judgment, where our destiny, Hell or Paradise, is decided based on our faith and deeds in this trial life, and above all, Allah's mercy.
Allah said in Surah Al-Ikhlas : In the name of God, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Say, “He is God, the One. God, the Absolute. He begets not, nor was He begotten. And there is none comparable to Him.” (1-4 / Translated by ITANI).
Allah said in Surah An-Nisa : O FOLLOWERS of the Gospel! Do not overstep the bounds [of truth] in your religious beliefs, and do not say of God anything but the truth. The Christ Jesus, son of Mary, was but God's Apostle - [the fulfilment of] His promise which He had conveyed unto Mary - and a soul created by Him. Believe, then, in God and His apostles, and do not say, "[God is] a trinity". Desist [from this assertion] for your own good. God is but One God; utterly remote is He, in His glory, from having a son: unto Him belongs all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth; and none is as worthy of trust as God. Never did the Christ feel too proud to be God's servant, nor do the angels who are near unto Him. And those who feel too proud to serve Him and glory in their arrogance [should know that on Judgment Day] He will gather them all unto Himself: (171-172 / Translated by Muhammad Asad).
Allah the Most Merciful said in Surah Ali-Imran : Behold, the only [true] religion in the sight of God is [man's] self-surrender unto Him; and those who were vouchsafed revelation aforetime took, out of mutual jealousy, to divergent views [on this point] only after knowledge [thereof] had come unto them. But as for him who denies the truth of God's messages - behold, God is swift in reckoning!
Thus, [O Prophet,] if they argue with thee, say, "I have surrendered my whole being unto God, and [so have] all who follow me!" - and ask those who have been vouchsafed revelation aforetime, as well as all unlettered people, "Have you [too] surrendered yourselves unto Him?" And if they surrender themselves unto Him, they are on the right path; but if they turn away - behold, thy duty is no more than to deliver the message: for God sees all that is in [the hearts of] His creatures.
Verily, as for those who deny the truth of God's messages, and slay the prophets against all right, and slay people who enjoin equity - announce unto them a grievous chastisement.
It is they whose works shall come to nought both in this world and in the life to come; and they shall have none to succour them.
(19-22 / Translated by Muhammad Asad)..
God said : Say, “We believe in Allah, and in what was revealed to us, and in what was revealed to Abraham, and Ishmael, and Isaac, and Jacob, and the Patriarchs, and in what was given to Moses and Jesus, and in what was given to the prophets from their Lord. We do not differentiate between any of them. And to Him, we surrender.”
(2:136 / Translated by Community)
Salam (Peace) ---
“Tradition is peer pressure from dead people “ ! What a brilliant truism! I couldn’t have said it better myself!
Really glad this one resonated with you!
Or maybe tried and true. Have you seen the negative impact on society from the disappearance of the traditional feminine woman? It pays well doesn’t it?
No, tradition is the best practices that worked evolved over thousands of years. That does not mean they are infallible, but to discount them simply for being tradition is even more foolish than blindly following them. You are betting against centuries of evolved human behavior. Perhaps this person should familiarize himself with Chesterton's Fence.
Sick! We should respect and learn from what our ancestors tried to instill in us. Yeah, just throw that all away...such a disposable world we live in..disgusting!
I am an old man who has lost everything and everyone I've ever loved, but I'll never stop loving for as long as I live. Thank you for this reaffirming episode. It really touched my heart.
Love is all there is. It’s brave to choose love above all else. ❤
There is ALWAYS someone or something to love. I have also lost everyone and everything, except Love, so I love, love, love, love, love every moment. It is really nice. I wish you well.
@@ClaireCelticMysticLove to you. 🎉
@@AT-eu4zu❤
I am so jealous of you. You had someone to love, and you still have. I have had very few people that I have loved and think that they were worth loving. People are definitely very disappointing. You trade you care, honesty for lies and world of hurt.
Lawyers are better than therapist. Almost got a divorce about 7 years ago and a meeting with a lawyer taught me more than all the sessions of therapy we went to. Oddly enough, we stuck it out and have building strong once again.
That's beautiful. Congrats 👏
Agree.. my sessions with my lawyer are so calming - they serve facts in a world filled with so much misinformation.
Is your lawyer a relative? Lawyers don't make money counseling clients
Therapists in particular lock women into their beliefs. I have very few therapists I admire.
Can I ask you to impart some of your lawyers wisdom?
Every married couple needs to watch this. This is free counseling!!!
No. Every couple who is thinking of getting married should watch this.
@@Kneekneee You both can be right you know smh
It's not counseling. But. It's good info.
@@KneekneeeOne does not exclude the other, no need to try to sound more profound than you are
James must be booked out for a year. 😮
This might be the most informative and honest conversation that I've ever heard. This guy makes absolute sense that nearly ALL of us take for granted every day.
This married woman I knew got a call from a former nanny who was crying uncontrollably, when she asked her what was wrong, the nanny kept on apologizing. She said, I slept with your husband. The wife said, how can you do this to me? She said, that’s not the worse part, I have HIV. When the wife went to the hospital, she was tested positive, they had to sedate her. This woman is one of the nicest people I have ever met, her biggest mistake is life was not divorcing her husband knowing that he was sleeping with other women. Most people don’t use protection, if you find out your mate is cheating, run. Your health is more important.
😢
😢😢😢😢😢
😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
I have a friend who has a similar story, but it was herpes. He was the one who cheated (ill give him a break, he was only 18 and learned his lesson, and now he's been married and madly in love with kids for a decade now). I guess I should be thankful my ex used a rubber each time she cheated. But she only used a rubber because it would be easier to hide it from me. So, bittersweet.
For the woman you spoke about, thankfully HIV is no longer a death sentence, but that's like finding a silver lining in a bowl of feces...
Wow that's dreadful.
- “Empty barrels make the most noise”
- “Money talks, wealth whispers”
-> The guy drops a wisdom every second sentence. Love it!
Awsome, I totally agree.
"4 suicides on opposing side" mentions he did his job too well. Piece of shat
Whoever discovered water, it wasn’t a fish.
Wealth whispers unless your Arab or Nigerian
I literally started writing them down in the notes on my phone as I listened. I've finished the interview and I've got 8 different quotes/sayings.
I love how well spoken he is, and how well he mixes his humor with the reality of marriage.
agreed. i like him. it was a great interview.
lawyer talk
Hello ! May Allah protect and guide you to his light and happiness in this life and the hereafter, God bless, Ameen. Excuse me for giving a little presentation of Islam, because it is very misunderstood nowadays, especially on those « Antichrist's » times, where media and politics are mixed to distort history and truth. And terrorists (puppets of the Antichrist) who misinterpret verses, out of ignorance and political motivations, and take them out of historical context (just like radical atheists do by the way) don't help either. Thank you very much for your time.
First of all, if you have any questions regarding Islam and yourself, just open the Quran randomly, and you will find the answer in front of you, like a miracle and a sign from God.
Islam is an arabic word that means the Surrender to the One and Only God, our Creator, Protector, Provider, who gives us life and all that we have, we are safe and sound by his will and grace, we are His and to Him we return, and we have to thank him in this trial life by submitting to him by our free will, or later in the Day of judgment when it's too late to save our own skin. Islam was the original Religion descended to earth from heaven with Adam and Eve (peace and blessing be upon them) in the beginning of humanity. and was passed to people with the succession of the 124 000 prophets and 315 messengers of God to all nations and civilizations since, passing by Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Ismaël, Joseph, Moses, Aaron, Joshua, David, Solomon and Jesus (Peace and blessing be upon them) during the history of mankind, the last replaces and completes the previous, until the succession of the last messenger of God fourteen centuries ago, Muhammad (Peace and blessing be upon him) to complete the noble morals of all mankind, to bring humans and jinns out of darkness into light, and to purify people's religion and belief from corruption and polytheism, and return it to purity and true monotheism, like it was in the times of the prophets (Peace and blessing be upon them).
Many Religions that we know nowadays, at their beginning were true and under Islam, initiated by one of the prophets of God, but their original teachings, history and scriptures have been corrupted over time with falsification and polytheism, or lost and replaced with false ones. That's why Islam is the only Religion accepted by God nowadays, which consists in bearing witness that there is no god besides Allah (God in Aramaic, the original language of Jesus and the Gospel), and that Muhammad is His servant and messenger, just like Jesus and Moses and others are His servants and messengers. Never a messenger of God said he was God or literally son of God, it was the people after him who changed the words of God and corrupted the Religion. God is unique and absolute, He does not need to have a family and sons or to associate anyone else with His kingdom, He can simply create whatever He wants, everything belongs to Him, and to Him everything will return. Allah said in Surah Al-Mu’minun : “God has never begotten a son, nor is there any god besides Him. Otherwise, each god would have taken away what it has created, and some of them would have gained supremacy over others. Glory be to God, far beyond what they describe. The Knower of the hidden and the manifest. He is exalted, far above what they associate. (91-92 / Translated by ITANI).
Allah means the one and only God, the God of all prophets and creatures, the creator of the universe and mankind, and the Master of the Day of judgment, where our destiny, Hell or Paradise, is decided based on our faith and deeds in this trial life, and above all, Allah's mercy.
Allah said in Surah Al-Ikhlas : In the name of God, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Say, “He is God, the One. God, the Absolute. He begets not, nor was He begotten. And there is none comparable to Him.” (1-4 / Translated by ITANI).
Allah said in Surah An-Nisa : O FOLLOWERS of the Gospel! Do not overstep the bounds [of truth] in your religious beliefs, and do not say of God anything but the truth. The Christ Jesus, son of Mary, was but God's Apostle - [the fulfilment of] His promise which He had conveyed unto Mary - and a soul created by Him. Believe, then, in God and His apostles, and do not say, "[God is] a trinity". Desist [from this assertion] for your own good. God is but One God; utterly remote is He, in His glory, from having a son: unto Him belongs all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth; and none is as worthy of trust as God. Never did the Christ feel too proud to be God's servant, nor do the angels who are near unto Him. And those who feel too proud to serve Him and glory in their arrogance [should know that on Judgment Day] He will gather them all unto Himself: (171-172 / Translated by Muhammad Asad).
Allah the Most Merciful said in Surah Ali-Imran : Behold, the only [true] religion in the sight of God is [man's] self-surrender unto Him; and those who were vouchsafed revelation aforetime took, out of mutual jealousy, to divergent views [on this point] only after knowledge [thereof] had come unto them. But as for him who denies the truth of God's messages - behold, God is swift in reckoning!
Thus, [O Prophet,] if they argue with thee, say, "I have surrendered my whole being unto God, and [so have] all who follow me!" - and ask those who have been vouchsafed revelation aforetime, as well as all unlettered people, "Have you [too] surrendered yourselves unto Him?" And if they surrender themselves unto Him, they are on the right path; but if they turn away - behold, thy duty is no more than to deliver the message: for God sees all that is in [the hearts of] His creatures.
Verily, as for those who deny the truth of God's messages, and slay the prophets against all right, and slay people who enjoin equity - announce unto them a grievous chastisement.
It is they whose works shall come to nought both in this world and in the life to come; and they shall have none to succour them.
(19-22 / Translated by Muhammad Asad)..
God said : Say, “We believe in Allah, and in what was revealed to us, and in what was revealed to Abraham, and Ishmael, and Isaac, and Jacob, and the Patriarchs, and in what was given to Moses and Jesus, and in what was given to the prophets from their Lord. We do not differentiate between any of them. And to Him, we surrender.”
(2:136 / Translated by Community)
Salam (Peace) ---
He is so emotional about the dogs. It 's so sweet. The strongest people are the sweetest and the most sensible.
I didn't expect to get emotional while listening to a divorce lawyer. The way this man talks about love is incredible. Great content, as usual.
Me too. This was exceptional because this man knows what love means... He really does
I saw another interview with him previously and it made me go buy his book. It was EXCELLENT!!
Truly!
Hey manulina how about getting a divorce and marrying me
What's your plan
@@jontyrhodes4155 ahaha
I think this guy is so special because he is so profoundly expressive in his speech, that he essentially blurs the line between a therapist and an attorney. He’s really something.
Charisma
he blurs the line between attorney and actor
💯📌
@@LiviuXSA yes, 100% an actor. This is such a creep. He was proud that people ended their lifes because he made their life miserable.
Im guessing high functioning narcisist or a sociopath. He doesn't feel emotions, he knows how other people act when they feel emotions and he describes that.
This is by far my favorite episode of your podcast so far. James moved me to tears with his candour and his unwavering faith in love despite all the (ugly) divorces he witnessed. I would like to thank you for showing men who wear their vulnerability and emotion as a badge of honour. This takes true courage and they are incredible role model for young men who can witness what real masculinity is all about.
THIS! ❤
Really glad to hear this one resonated with you so deeply! Thanks for sharing 🙏
Masculinity has its positives and negatives. It doesn’t mean one is real and the other is fake.
This man is a parasite. Divorce lawyers of his type are about the assassination of the other party.....he never once spoke about fallout about children and his responsibility to suitably balanced post split. It's a win at all costs.... hence protracted, expensive and exhausting for both parties. I wonder if he thinks about the 4 deaths on the other side. It was glossed over. What about his work in hospice? I expect behind the tears over dogs and marital lessons learned he's probably somewhat troubled.
Agreed!
One of the most amazing interviews I have watched.
If there was ever a manual for getting married, this podcast should be a part of it.
What resonated for me was James Sexton’s emotional responses to the things of BEAUTY
in his life (viz: His Dogs, Loving relationships, His Father’s Love ). His insight into relationships is stunning. I have been retired for at least 8 years now, and I have found that appreciating BEAUTY in all its forms is what makes living worthwhile.
The thought of hugging someone and thinking they are gone ...and then remembering they are still there made me cry. Thank you for that, you gave something beautiful to my day.
I can’t stop thinking about this.
I’m sobbing listening to this part. I lost half my family by the time I was 10. I ended up a 14 year old runaway who fell into captivity. Took me 4.5 years to escape. Spent 10 years trying to find a man to “really” love me. Spent the last 10 years taking care of my sick mother. She had 3 strokes that left her the equivalent of a 6 month old baby in an adult body. I miss hearing her talk and seeing her be the adventurous strong woman she always was. I miss her being the mom.
Hearing him say all this made me realize that my whole life has been spent trying to hold on to that which I’m actively losing, just like he said. I’m gonna go hold my Angel mother tightly and make her smile that sweet smile that keeps me going. She’s my world, and I can’t imagine this world without her in it.
@@PneumaNooseI’ve gone through something very similar. Know you’re not alone and hug your loved ones a little longer.
This lawyer is a rare bird. His understanding of human nature is profound as well as his empathy. A true gem.
There are many lawyers who have a real handle on life and human relationships because their work is hard and they have to read people.
His undergraduate degree is in psychology
@@yogawitch3 It's not his degree in psychology. He has a basic intellectual understanding of human nature, especially flawed human nature. He is truly empathic, a rare gift or talent if you prefer. And, so importantly, he loves his dog. People who don't love their dogs, or don't understand what wonderful creatures dogs are with their consummate devotion to their "owners" are devoid of a trait which could bring them peace and quiet happiness. He is also of course extremely intelligent which heightens his perception of others. Also he comprehends that we, as a community, an assembly of social beings, have outlived the "need" for marriage. It was a coupling that was necessary to nurture offspring which we treat as possessions. He is also profoundly pragmatic. He is an admirable, worthy human being. I would like to meet him.
"I have an infinite capacity for love, no matter what I lose, cause we are losing all, all the time, but that's not a reason to not to love" one of the best episodes so far!
that sounds stupid
@@stereo-soulsoundsystem5070I mean if that’s all you can say to give your opinion, that’s says a lot
I agree!
@@stereo-soulsoundsystem5070 stupid is as stupid talks haha (yes, you. the quote up there is just wonderful and if you think its stupid, you probably are a kid or have really no clue about how life works)
I had to STOP the video to cry, make tea, ponder, cry, savor and survive the truth of that one sentence, "I have an infinite capacity for love, no matter what I lose." I had to sit and allow the healing, the washing-clean, pouring light transmission directly from the Heart of God through my Soul;
I lost my mom at 5,
my dad at 11,
my mind at 16,
my hope at 19,
my homes, every year, all my life, always moving on,
seeking what love could do to heal my heart and shine through me, in a healthy way,
my adoptive father at 52, (to porn, heart attack; true, it is a thing, he was 64), + 3 months later, ...
my lil 27-yr.-o. Sis (to Heroin + flesh-eating bacteria someone shot her up into a hole due to that; true; frightening),at 52,
my adoptive mom at 56,
my family home of 51 years at 59,
my willingness to accept any traces of abuse and disrespect at 50.
I am now 60. I leave a wake of shock behind me, as I address any lack of loving, because I know what love is, and I carry and share it freely. I deserve and accept nothing less. I had no idea what respect was until Ger Lyons (gerlyons.net) helped me heal all my confusion, in 14 years of training in Celtic Mysticism;
Ger Lyons Global Healing Events.
(He's Irish, and he knows.)
I am so grateful for this sharing.
The wisdom, the profound truths, the laughs that were equally healing, the sweetness of the truth about Love from a man who has seen marriage fail solely due to the failure of loving, never of Love, this is everything.
I am bowing to this exchange.
You both are making the world a better place.
I have already Subscribed.
Love has never failed.
Aloha, Claire
That was so beautiful. Thank you ❤
Thanks!
Married 43 years. Have had faced many challenges . God has given us so much grace!!!😊
As a divorce mediator who has worked wiith Jim, I can say that he Is, in practice, exactly as he seems...sincere, kind, smart and integritous. I agree with every word he says!
Im glad to hear that. I know some lawyers are experts at seeming like they are empathetic, but end up being a snake in the grass in person.
Why do you call him Jim when his name is James?
@@jollymollyramram9702Because Jim is the diminutive or short version of James. Just as Bob is the short version of Robert. This is a very typical American thing done with names.
Jim is a common nickname for James. James Cameron goes by Jim too
I want to marry him lol! How does one become a mediator? I think this would be great to help people work out problems to avoid divorce
One thing that I like about your podcast is that you let your guests talk most of the time, during the entire course of your podcast. You yourself are knowledgeable in a lot of topics, have experiences of your own, yet you don’t interject or interfere while your guests share their response to your questions.
Thanks for such great podcasts!
Wrong. He does that because he is not knowledgeable in a lot of topics. But it does make for a better interview.
Agreed. He doesn’t make it about himself
YES! this is a massive strength Steven.
@@DaveCoakleyup
Agreed. Top notch interview skills
This is so validating to watch. This man says the things I’ve said before and have been met with odd looks or “is not that serious” and like he said, “how can you think about death all the time”.
Life is SO short, TOO short, to let the small things ruin your relationships.
For someone who spends his days seperating families this guy is incredibly sensitive and a romantic at heart. A very compelling speaker. Exceptionally engaging talk
Hope it's genuine. These folks are masters at winning an audience. Remember that!
He didn't cause those marriages to fail 🤷♀️
He doesn't separate families, he help people to negotiate the law provisions to formally disolve already destroyed marriages.
He’s not separating families , they are hiring him after they’ve been separated to guide them legally
@@cesaravegah3787he isn’t doing arbitration.
He is a lawyer that gets hired by one side to get as much as possible. Other side does the same.
1. My beliefs doesn't require that you belive them. I don't need you to believe the same thing I do, just to prove my belief.
2. Prenup - is like preparing for a fight. I hope it doesn't happen, but in case it does I better be ready
3. There are so many day-to-day things that we are feeling we are not doing well enough based on nothing. Compare to what? Social media?
4. Hit send now
5. Pay attention towards your feelings and your partner's. And say it
6. All relationship problems from 2 things: "I don't know what I want and I don't know how to express it"
7. Never compare your partner to that perfect image in your head
8. We have infinite capacity for love. And although we will lost everyone we love, and it will break our hearts it's worth it, it's not the reason not to love.
agreed. specially point 7. you better ask yourself why you married your partner in the first place, what brought you to that decision..
or was it a perfect picture in your head? if it is, you shouldn't have married that partner because that picture in your head, doesn't change compared to your partner.
#8 proves we are created by God because God is love. It is who wants us to be: LOVE.
“True love is when it’s not even sacrificing to give.” Beautiful.
Indication of, kindness, highest degree. Great catch and cheers for sending thus, mind blowing sentence
I didn't think of it as sacrifice, until
her attorney tried to take everything and leave me in poverty.
It didn't work, for various reasons.
But he did try, and the love of my life was right there supporting those actions.
When asked about Love; Ayn Rand once said true love is a truly selfish emotion where one gives to the one they love with “selfish pleasure” meaning, anything I do for the one I love I do so selfishly and with a grin on my face… thus making the more socially accepted concept of love as a “selfless sacrifice” seem more like a moral duty one feels has to be carried out due to some religious or social-cultural precept rather than because you actually want to…
This human is one of the most intellectual people I have ever listened to.
Best of luck for both of you.
I love this man self awareness. He doesn’t sugarcoat anything he does.
He's so refreshing!
It is impressive
“It’s a game we can’t win and we just keep playing it.” Cheers to all of us who keep playing may your heart never grow weary.
🎯
I feel we win when both are happy together and push through all struggles together.
Fun is in the journey. It’s a game of living, learning, having fun as long as it lasts and as much as possible.
The only winning move is *not to play.*
It’s rare to see such a jaw dropping mix of aching sentimentality and cynicism, all synthesised through deep philosophical insight. Awesome.
YES. Painfully, refreshingly honest.
Not even cynicism, it's experience and data
😅 i found it attractive 😂
cooked
@@Anubis_375Your comment made me feel less cynical.
Yep. The remarry 86% is because we all believe we are not the problem. So finding another perfect person will ensure you are divorce proof. The divorce rate is even higher there. People who successfully remarry are those who have truly introspected, most of whom it is seems go back to their original spouses and remarry them. Marriage boils down to self introspection and self development.
I was married for close to 28 years. I lost my teeth, my physical and mental health and have been trying to get well for 14 years. I filed for divorce last year.
@@simplyblessed7036your situation poses a very important question of when is the best time to move on, regardless of reasons to bare the pain (children, finances, etc) when is enough... enough?!
Before I got married my parents told me if I did not get a prenuptial agreement they would take me out of their will. It took the pressure off me. I am so glad they insisted.
That's how I know that you're a son. No matter how rich a woman is and how poor a man, the woman ALWAYS wins in any divorce suit. Divorce is designed to appease women and girls.
Nope. My ex was an accountant. Stole $ from me for 10yrs before divorce. He loved $ not me. Sad.
@@Planeet-Longyup..and that's why I say F western values
That is toxic as hell
@@melissabryant2251you example does not negate the post you are responding to. You ex. Took the money and probably hid it before the proceedings. Regardless, a bummer that happened
I cried like a baby listening to this. Cannot believe I learned so much from a divorce lawyer. Thank you for bringing in him for this discussion.
Me tooooo! So DEEP and so TRUE!
SAME! ❤
As a man, I can say nothing about this made me want to cry .. that is bizarre to me.
@RothieMay no doubt. But if I were to cry about something like this it would probably cause my girlfriend to leave me. So there are very good reasons why I am different.
@RothieMay that's kind of my point. We are all different but in the same way .. men and women
"I get misty-eyed at marriages as much as anybody, and not just for future business purposes." - Glad he clarified that.
I has a delicate sense of humor 😅
😂
I wanna know what percentage of SECOND marriages end in divorce!
@@MatthewElvey 60 to 70%
50 % or more. I want the stats on 3-4th marriages.
I LOVE the way he explains things. He handles tough concepts in such a compelling & entertaining way. Very eloquent gentleman.
Is this man a trained journalist? How come he interviews better than all the journalists out there? He lets his guests get their full points across with no interruptions. I can't believe I watched the whole interview
He’s a lawyer. They’re used to arguing cases.
He let's them COOKKK.
@@NegritaBrujita I believe he is talking about the interviewer, the guy who has this podcast...
A trained journalist wants to dig for controversy & appear intelligent. Whereas non-journalists are actually interested in listening and learning.
He can’t be trained.
I think it has some cuts. Most podcasts do, but still, he's really good at keeping a conversation\interview going
I bet you have never had someone on your podcast whose thoughts rolled of their tongue as quickly as his did. He is truly an expert. Excellent podcast. So authentic. So down to earth.
WORD. His analogy game is god-tier! I'd be terrified to be opposing counsel.
Even faster at 2x the speed lol
Well, no, he’s just rehearsed everything a lot. If you listen to him in other interviews you’ll see.
@@okayrachelmae I see your point. I have never heard him before. Thank you for letting me know.
@@judy-annmcneill1037 anyone who is interviewed a lot - Jordan Peterson et al you will notice they say the same things, sometimes in a different way over and over again. If one thinks about it, it's only to be expected if they are interviewed so many times. I don't mind if they say the same things because often there is so much wisdom that we need to listen to them repeatedly to take it all in.
“Money talks but wealth whispers “ great video! So many gems .
This man is the best relationship coach out there. He has seen it all. He’s wise! Everyone needs to listen.
"My beliefs don't require that you believe them" is one of the best things I've heard recently so much so that it puts so many things into perspective. Thank you!
And sadly he also had to acknowledge the fact that, "your beliefs may require that I believe them..."
I haven’t gotten there yet in the episode but it’s so true! It makes me so sad a lot of people cannot talk to someone that disagrees with them. My dad is very liberal and my mom is very conservative, I’m so happy I grew up getting to hear both.
My husband and I don’t always agree on politics or religion. But we both find each other really smart and genuinely love hearing how the other one thinks, even if we think about the topic in a different way. I’ve never felt judged for my beliefs with him. I’ve never judged him for his beliefs. I love hearing a new, well thought out perspective from my husband. It’d be so boring if we thought the same way about everything.
@@Olivia-bl8ez It’s so true but I haven’t found many people in my life who can be so secure in their skin and beliefs that they can hear what others have to say without getting offended over it.
So happy you two found each other and can be your true selves around each other.
@@imnotdavidxnsx Yes at times but not always. I categorise my beliefs and my personal beliefs don’t require validation from others but my social beliefs might because I would to find people who believe in the same things as I do.
@@zunairaakbar1214 hopefully your young and your friends can grow into it. Or maybe you can be the catalyst. I’m sure your friends are great but maybe keep your eye out for more open minded friends too lol. Most people are not to the extreme with things, just gotta find them. Best of luck ❤️
Some love lasts. My husband and I have been married for 55 years, and we still love each other.
I knew a guy who was married for 50 years but was hitting on me unbeknownst to his wife. I asked him why won't he divorce his wife if he is hitting on me. He said because she would get "my money".
55 years without getting caught. I like him 😏
People are absolutely vile on the internet, wtf are these responses 😅
Yup Penelope
@@dawidd6356they can’t see outside of their situation .
“My beliefs don’t require you to believe them.” So so true!!!
I watch your shows regularly; they are one of the very few. Social media is NOT my thing. Most of the interviews are very valuable, absolutely loaded with wisdom, knowledge and a multiplicity of new ways to apply and reflect on even heretofore known concepts. Much to my surprise, James Sexton a divorce lawyer, moved me to tears and a profound appreciation of the brevity, beauty and depth of love in all of it"s forms. Thank you for having him.
I thought, "I'm not going to enjoy this talk about cheating and divorces"... OMG! This has nothing to do with that (well, it does, obviously). There's SO much more to this conversation! So much empathy, so much love and care... I've loved every single second. Plus, his communication skills are superb. Thanks!! ❤
Even as a single person who has never been married, I found this interview so interesting and insightful. James is a brilliant guest.
same. i've been single all my life. been battling severe poverty in my youth living in homeless shelters, struggling just to get to school, having to deal with a single parent that's mentally ill, later on i've had to deal with very abusive and toxic workplaces, to developing 2 chronic illnesses into my 30s, and still dealing with them in my 50's and losing the single parent and friend i had my entire life. i watch this video for entertainment value, because i know, i guarantee, i will never experience any of this. and thank goodness. this level of stress would end me. he gets so emotional...is it because of money loss? its clearly not because she was cheating on him. the word love is thrown around for some reason.
Don’t let it discourage you to find a life partner. The goal of life is to pass down the genes to the next generation. The purpose of marriage is to ensure that children have a stable home and family so they can grow up to be positive forces in a society. Don’t let the cynicism or selfishness of others deter you from having a beautiful family with kids.
@@WorldlyBudgetThe goal for some people. Not everyone has the same life goals. That's the difference between being animals and being human.
"Money talks, but Wealth whispers." Brilliant!! The most profound interview I've heard in awhile. Eyes wide opened.🙏🏼
That's been a saying for a while. I personally didn't hear any brilliance from him. He's just mildly entertaining; I can't take him seriously.
What does that mean?
@@swampsprite9such a dumb saying too. Cope by poor people.
That’s always been incorrect lol
This man is phenomenal. He is out of this world!!! I was not expecting to cry or to receive so much wisdom. I think we as people can forget that the people that we love will eventually die one day. We will all die one day. Once a person experiences so much loss, it breaks their heart. Heartbreak is painful. Which in return makes a person afraid to love again. This is why he said that it is brave to love. This was so good on so many levels. He definitely needs to be a marriage therapist on the side as well. I’m a therapist and I’m going to start referring clients to watch this video when they are having marital problems. This is my first time watching this podcast- 10/10.
The best part of this interview is James talking about His dogs and the love of his pets. The love of his mother. Speaking about hearing her voice again for the first time after she past 8 years ago. How his dad pulled out an old video and them hearing her familiar voice. His perspective of love. Very beautiful outlook. How we forget how important it is to love someone or our pets. How heartbreaking it is for us but having the joy of them makes us feel alive, how important it really is to have love.
I was sobbing at work through that section of the interview. 🤦🏻♀️
Lawyers know how to tug at your emotional strings
Wise words from a man who has seen a few nasty divorces. One thing is certain: we all die one day. But if you have someone to comfort you, to hold your hand and you can be there for them. "What a worthy pursuit!"
That is something to remember.
That's an emotional way to think about life and death. Either way, we came to the world alone and will leave alone. That's more factual.
Or you can have someone who doesn’t know how to behave in public sneering, being controlling, and low voice yelling at you while you’re trying to enjoy yourself; so you have to pinch the skin on the back of their arm until they behave.
@@Tunsmandieeww a pessimist. Eugh brother eugh 😂. It's not too emotional, it's purpose. Love like many things can carry us through life. You know the points between birth in death. Also to put the nail in that coffin of your born alone and die alone. Most people are usually born to a loving mother. And if you're lucky, die with those you love or protecting them. 🤠
@@MatthewHanson1Cut the shit with your fairytale...what he said is true
@@FindTheTRUTH337Your picking skills are bad...
I divorced after 13 years of marriage. To be sincere, at the bottomless pit of every failed marriage is dishonest communication. If we can be 100% open and create an environment for that to continue without judgements, many marriages will be saved.This is pure enlightenment. Thank you.
If you're honest as a man, most of the time you won't even get a first date, let alone a marriage.
You don’t have to be honest, after getting divorce you have no privacy. It’s ok to not share all of your personal information with anyone I believe
Failed marriages come from men who don't keep their wedding vows. You said "till death do us part". But I guess communication issues counts as death.
All this talk about communication but what exactly does it involve? How is it measured? When can one know that it’s effective or successful communication?
@@Jamesbaldwin44 makes sense and how often is this done to be considered healthy? Maybe that’s up to the individual couple but I’m sure there are principles involved in communication that can be applied generically and be effective when made specific with deductive reasoning.
I ask this because there has been many people I’ve spoken to and communication was huge to them but when boiled down to specifics, past just the word, with given scenarios it’s mostly blank expression that follows.
I didn't know anything about James Sexron. We naturally have a negative view of lawyers, especially divorce lawyers, but this has got to be THE BEST interview, yet Wow, my mind is just blown.
This guy never fails to be a remarkable guest on any podcast. His dialogue and insights are thoughtful, poignant and colorful.
There's more? I'm finding it all. This guy knows what's up
He's missing a crucial factor in couplings...
YIN YANG
@@007nadineL No he isnot. Those who marry do have yin yang, but life changes, new people come into the scene, people have problems, drinking, gambling, sexual dysfuntion...
@@nt4081exactly
Yeah, he had a great interview on a the Financial Diet with Chelsea too
1:31:20 "love is not permanently gifted, it is loaned" what a beautiful, melancholic summary of human existence
I read recently - "Death is the coin with which we pay for life" so you could rewrite that as sorrow is the coin with which we pay for happiness.
Sorry I’m not native English speaker, I’m not quite sure what’s mean, is anyone able to explain it to me please ? Thanks in advance ❤
@@archon8211 thank u
What is meant by that quote?
@@anyawang3864practice or do it daily just as you literally service your interest over loan ma
The majority of us have the worse opinion of attorneys but this guy broke the mold. He is a genuine human being, a very rare jewel. Thank you for showing us hope for a human lawyer.
he is promoting himself for sure
He's very shrewd.
"Sexton" isnt a surname id trust
I’m curious how great he was during his first marriage lol
@@tmhwriter
Precisely why you'd higher him...
Very rarely I leave a comment under the video but this gentleman said so many reasonable and logic things that I want to say "thank you " to him and the host. Subscribed
He is so incredibly honest, intelligent, articulate, and even incredibly funny. He definitely has a gift and a purpose.
What a fantastic, intelligent, articulate witty and funny man James Sexton is. He had me in tears when he talked about love snd loss.
I got divorced from my first wife. Re-married, and we have been together now for over 20 years. Yes, THIS TIME IT TRULY IS DIFFERENT! I learned from the mistakes I made the first time. I have two sons and a wonderful wife. We have been through good times, bad times, and everything else inbetween. So yes, re-marrying was the best thing I ever did, but only because I really did learn from my mistakes.
Mistakes?
Yeah theyre different for everyone @@riceboy287
@@riceboy287marrying the wrong person and for the wrong reasons. Easy
What mistakes were they and how did you learn from them
@@ngsy8193 Make sure that you are compatible with your wife. Make sure that you have a solid foundation in communication before you get married. These two mistakes doomed my first marriage. My marriage now has lasted for over 25 years, still going, because I learned these lessons well.
I'm not married and I feel like I needed to hear this.
Married 20+ years, and I still love her. Marriage is beautiful. It's not always easy, but it's worth it.
Relationships can be beautiful.
Whatever legal status is imposed on them does not matter
@@jezalb2710 👍
Exactly.
Well I did it twice - marriage is fantastic if you can have a good one, but the chances of that nowadays are slim. The way society is today is not conducive to a marriage lasting…..
@@rufdymond Dating apps and social media has allowed people to cast a much wider net on potential mates. The better more perfect one is just around the corner...
Statistically its like walking up to a roulette wheel and picking one number and winning on the first spin. Just because you won doesn't mean that gambling is a good idea.
Been married for over 40 years. Thoroughly enjoy being in love with my husband. We both work on being the best version of ourselves, physically, mentally and emotionally and never take one and other for granted.
Thats amazing. Did you ever have doubts about him or were you two ever close to divorcing?
This is some of the best advice for a marriage , your comment here.. Very wise
Very true🙏🙏🙏
@@blueburdie6953 those doubts are more a modern day thing where social media/dating apps give you more options. Thinking that you can do better. That wasnt around 40 years ago
This is excellent. Show up as your best self. If you fail, try again. This reminds of something I once heard, "Never compare yourself to others, only compare yourself to who you were yesterday." ❤
How important is sex when you over 60? I imagine the priority drops a lot compared to under 50.
I’m 53 years old. On my second marriage and honestly have been taking my wonderful wife for granted. This man just CHANGED my life for the better. Best guest on here EVER🙏
I wish my long term boyfriend could see this. We are finally walking away. I felt so deprived for so long. And he felt so confused for so long. If he came to me and said I have neglected you and I’m here to try. I’d literally weep and welcome it. Good luck
@@tiffanyburke2785I hope and pray your next, if you wish it, is much more successful and everything you needed that wasn’t met previously
@@tiffanyburke2785Some are oblivious to their mistakes. Sometimes you just gotta speak up and be blunt. Or as the saying goes "closed mouths don't get fed"
Moron, someone has to give in insight not to take your wife for granted especially when u are in your second marriage 😁😁😁🤡
@@tiffanyburke2785"long term boyfriend" sounds weird coming from an adult that's if u are, if not then that kind of makes sense. That's what teenagers say and do.
I fell in love with this episode when the guy gave the dog analogy. Then he went into "Happy Wife, Happy Life" and having kids is the definition of cancer. I was standing up cheering! Best ever!!
Nevr expected a divorce expert to be so wise and profoundly articulate about the nature of Love.
Ikr!!!!
I mean that’s his job and he’s showing his proficiency
@@darthjakenjanje1877 yah fair! Totally makes sense when you think about it. Just wasn't expecting it I guess.
Why have I never seen this guy before? He is one of the most wise people I've ever heard.
I first saw him on "Soft White Underbelly." Highly recommended!👍
You should watch his video on Soft White Underbelly. It's just as profound!
Of course he is he wants your money
@@SheenaRea me too
yes i thought iam i only finding him wise😆 he is really gem and i loved his cultural outlook towards life
I want to put a warning out to all those who stumble on this amazing episode and are about to listen to it during the work day; wait until after work. It's so full of wisdom, but also it'll bring you to tears if you've ever loved a dog. I've had to cancel a meeting because I'm a mess rn. What an incredible 2 hours.
Yes, totally agree!
My dog turns 16 next month and I wouldn't trade him for any puppy in the world. He hit the nail on the head. I love this little guy more and more every day.
Im in a cafe and now crying
He’s articulate, animated and a great story teller.
This is hard conmen to right because genuinely this guy is absolutely brilliant and has many gems of knowledge.. but one thing he hasn’t figured out is that a lot of the time saturating yourself into your work and career and not developing your own partner connection because you are too caught up in your career is the reason so many successful people don’t actually have good chemistry and connection with there partners.. take a fucking step back for a second and put some energy into your partner
im at 1:35 so far. I want to note, that, we can evolve with a spouse. Ive been with mine 10ish years. But we have experienced so much together (moved countries, mental issues) that our personalities are almost changed. Remember to not be scared of change, see it, talk about it, learn about it, and grow together. its also important.
'People bring different things to the table. I think love is also an economy, the giving and taking of value. It can be incredibly symbiotic and rewarding'. Brilliantly put
What a beautiful conversation! This is a man who obviously employs strategy, practicality, and logic in his day to day work, but he also feels so much and thinks through his and other people's emotions so deeply. Truly a beautiful, multifaceted person.
One thing I learned from my divorce is to only be with someone whose happiness come from themselves. If they expect someone else to make them happy, run far, far away from the person. They are trying to fill that void with a person, material things or something else that will not sustain a relationship. Truly happy people don't need outside things to make them feel complete or whole it comes from themselves. Broken people think oh if I only lived in this type of house, or drove this type of car, or made this type of money or was in a relationship with this type of person THEN I will be happy! It doesn't work that way because they need to fix their own shit that is causing them to seek happiness outside of themselves. Stay far away from someone like that because no matter what you do, you can not fix someone, they have to put in the work, not you.
Oh for sure. The line I love is “I am not responsible for your happiness” . Forget who said it but it’s powerful because there are toxic people out there. They can only fix themselves and stop blaming others
You nailed it! Be happy with yourself -know yourself! before embarking on a serious relationship. Happiness starts from within.
So so true. Underrated comment.
I agree, I met someone like this and he cheated on me and left me, was back within months and cheated again. His unhappiness was within him and couldn’t be fixed by others outside. It took me a while to realise this and not blame myself, it nearly cost me my sanity. Not worth the cost.
All I need I cars and I’m happy
This guy is one of the most philosophical lawyers I've ever met. He's worth whatever he charges, what a brilliant man. Learning about love from a divorce lawyer.
I, being almost 66 and married for 42 years, strongly believe that althoug mariage is seldom a bed of roses and there are many issues along the way and we did think of having a divorce several times, we could, as a couple, survive those hard times by staying respactful, honest and sincere. We never scolded each other nor did we get abusive or cheat. We did yell at times of course and slammed the door harder than neccesary. And now in our "old" age, still being together, we enjoy each others company, accepting our differences because the memory of the past was not ruined by abusive behavior. I am glad we overcame those times because althoug I do not believe in the concept of "a" soulmate, I do feel he and I are now soulmates.
Love your channel!
I think this is what is missing from a lot of modern marriages - the tenacity to work through conflict, and conflict that can last YEARS! I’m not talking about cheating or abuse obviously. I was lucky enough to have a 10 year relationship throughout my 20s and although it ended when I turned 32… I had enough perspective to know that there were years where we weren’t getting along.. and then years that we were as close as anything. The perspective to see that a rough patch does not mean failure all the time. I’m so glad you got to find your soulmate.
Never heard what you should never hear an say no too getting married.
Awe that's so wonderful! Good for you two! ❤
@@winkA1....also dancing in the kitchen in your socks. 😁
This episode was insightful. But one question remains, sure many people need sex but what happens when there's just no way to make time (in between financial & health crisises or kids, lack of privacy , hormonal changes, responsibilities,just living life and doing other better things together and more) just because you're not having sex it's not just being a roommate Because a roommate wouldn't do all the things that a spouse (regardless of gender) does for you "from earning money,taking care of kids,sharing chores, supporting each other in hard times like health/financial issues and more) even without the sex.
- So are people just supposed to ditch their spouses because of changes in their libido?
Because as people get older while some people keep the sex life, others are happy without the sex life too (I've asked people that are fine being romantic but not necessarily having sex for years), and only thing that annoys some of those couples is that people think they can't be happy without sex so they end up feeling forced to question if something is really wrong with them. There are also asexuals. Imo main question people should ask before marriage even before pre-nups is how important is sex to them and what happens when changes happen.
Example of preventive measures:
1. Couples counseling
2. Practicing honesty
3. Reminding each other of your agreement
4. Not doing things to sabotage- and naming what those things are
Couple’s counseling is important but the earlier you go in the relationship the better because the majority of the time when couples decide to go it is already too late.
Yeah, Good luck with that.
1.5 And individual counseling. Two individuals’ past traumas must be realized before/during couple’s counseling.
Therapy makes you addicted to your trauma and talking about it.
Counseling isnt much different
@@NowioFel .. If you have an addictive personality, I can see that
This podcast is a public service. Anyone considering marriage or thinking about ending one should listen to it. It’s the best relationship coaching I’ve ever encountered-WOW! Simply the best ever. Thank you, Steve, for this opportunity, and thank you, Dr. Sexton, for generously sharing your wisdom and knowledge with all of us. That was great!
Absolutely
I just subscribed, James is the man. As a former/ maybe current TH-camr, I know the feeling that most people aren't subscribed.
This Lawyer is more than a lawyer, he is the fruit of human kind. he is touched. Great episode.
I need lectures. I will take law school/paralegal as long as he's the professor
The sound bites in this podcast episode are pure gold! “Tradition is peer pressure from dead people” 😅😅
Tradition is advice from people who've learned through the pain so you don't have to.
@@bv3635 With as much respect that you can get from my response, I disagree. WISDOM is advice from people who have learned thru pain so you don't have to.
Tradition is important as a guide.
Peer pressure is from God through the Bible. It's not man made.
G. K. Chesterton said tradition is the democracy of the dead. It is saying we value their opinion and experience and wisdom. Not that we need to do everything their way. But that they at least get a vote.
Wow! This man had me crying when he talked about love . He is a very intelligent person and has trully picked up the most important lessons life has to offer! Thank-you for having him on your show!
This was absolutely FANTASTIC to listen to. My fiancé and I will be watching this together tonight!
My ex-husband had an airtight prenup. I signed it because i loved him and our chances for the future.
He was more than generous in our divorce. I will always be grateful to him for that and so much more.
you loved him and your chances for the future; what happened, are you happier because the marriage failed, and he was generous in the divorce, you rather just be grateful for the generosity rather than stay together?
Yet you still divorced him? Wtf
you can have appreciation without hostal emotions , does not mean the emotional ties worked , smart loving lady All the Best to you
Men pay child support and alimony more than if it was court ordered according to a research.
@@slayer7682 Just a suggestion. Is it possible that you openly attack cases of peaceful divorce cos you believe in Disney type marriages only and want to punish anyone who dares to break it for you?
So wonderful to see a hard nosed lawyer who has witnessed so much divorce yet still has the capacity to feel and express joy and love.
What a guy ❤
RIGHT!!! Its the empathy and perspective that makes him so much different than the typical lawyer, esp one that specializes in divorces
Couldn’t agree more
As a doctor, I hear stories from patients all the time. Cheating is one of them. STI testing is huge.
Where's the fun in cheating on your spouse and you get an STI and then give it to your spouse. Cheating is playing Russian Roulette with your health and your spouse's health.
My R.N. Sister knew my husband was cheating when he absolutely insisted on silver nitrate drops in our newborn’s eyes
Wow
@@signespencer6887wow!
@@signespencer6887what does the silver nitrate do??
The talk with his son was worth the price of admission alone. "If I compare you to my ideal son, you suck!" -haha...great advice...stop comparing people to your ideal. Oh, and the pizza story was the best.
1:07:19 pay attention: “all marital problems stem from 2 things.. I don’t know what I want , and I don’t know how to express it”………COMMUNICATION IS KEY.
Talk and voice your needs.
I don’t think that’s accurate. I think its more of “I’m not getting my needs met and your not hearing it when I express it”.
@@beepbopboop7727are you expressing those needs within your mind or out loud with your voice & actions? don't leave things up to assumption.
@beepbopboop7727 he talks about prioritising our needs. Easier said than done. Women have more responsibilities when it comes to their family. It's even worse when they have to work.
Thanks I was hoping to find the answer in the comments
And if when you talk it’s ignored DON’T MARRY THAT PERSON
I don’t know that I have ever seen/heard a more profound, powerful, enlightening interview in my life. This man…his raw insights and ability to unravel the complexity of life blows my mind.
What a great conversation! So true. From the first day after we met, we talked every day for at least 10 hours for 14 days. After that, we decided to stay together forever. We had an absolutely great time together. We also had to get through difficult times together due to external circumstances, and not just once. We kept our promise to each other. The love of my life for 42 years received the terrible diagnosis of Alzheimer's a few years ago. As we have always stood by each other and been open and honest with each other, we will also get through this situation. Openness and honesty, even when it hurts, are the be-all and end-all of a relationship.
Make sure she's not taking a statin drug which will further degrade her cognitive abilities.
Inulin reverses Alzheimer's. High intensity exercise, niacin, NAC, iboga, loveyhuasca, simply a clean diet, lots of things can. Don't listen to mainstream doctors who have never done one bit of research
Wow, congratulations on your lifelong comittment, and good of you to take it seriously. I hope I have the chance for that before I die, but the older you get, the slimmer the chances.
@@starfishoffersthis No Statine (medical field)! 😀