Thank you all for watching, if you could do me a favour, hit the like button on the video if you liked this conversation! It’s a topic I’ve never covered so hoping you liked it ❤
You couldn't even make it through the intro without blaspheming the Lord Jesus. If you really think you should be publicly blaspheming then be bold and do the same to Islam's Muhammad.
Love the new lighting and depth of field. I love listening to this guy and have seem him multiple times. In a way it seems strange because I am still deeply in love with my wife after 27 years together. It is a multicultural marriage with a 20 year age gap but if anything it has gotten better over the years. Perhaps it is because I pay attention to the things he talks about and continue to hone my relationship skills despite being together for so long.
One of your most enlightening and thought provoking guests yet so far. Successful, long term relationships are far and few between. Personally? I would never even attempt such a tumultuous endeavor. Great speaker. Great discussion. Wonderful channel. ❤
My grandfather passed away last year after 78 years of marriage. Upon learning he had terminal cancer and no more than 3 months to live, he started crying and said “Who’s going to take care of my wife after I’m gone?” That is the mindset of someone with a long-term successful marriage.
Yup. My grandparents were married for over 60 years. While he was dying, one of his biggest concerns was who would take care of my grandmother. They don't seem to make them like that anymore, and if they do, they are rare!!
Yes. I am 83. My husband and the love of my life died in my arms two years ago after 61 years of marriage. It was not a perfect marriage. I swear, every 7 or 8 years, it changed drastically, sometimes for the good, sometimes bad. We made many mistakes. But we loved each other, and we loved each other’s families, and we adored our children. So we endured…until the next change. The old poem is right: “Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be, the last of life for which the first was made.”
This atty shouldn't have this interview, unless the value of him promoting his service outweighs the aidjence he dissuades to avoid marriage. He wouldn't consider this on small following channel.
This guy said something really profound. "The reason why I never wanted to be famous is because the praise of strangers never really appealed to me" Let that sink in
@artvandelay3922 Did he do it...or his career did it without his consent... some decisions we never know they will put us in the public eye... that's why some actors choose to leave the industry.. because the fame is too much... and some are famous but live such quiet lives, only to pop up, make a movie and disappear again...
Profound? When something sounds good but lacks in logic it is often referred to as sophistry. Another term that can be used is 'specious reasoning', which refers to statements that appear plausible on the surface but are actually flawed - in this see case his actions or inactions in this regard bely his truths.
@@masculinityproject3183he didn’t justify it. Listen carefully. As someone with an undergrad in Psychology too, he was giving insight to the way humans justify their actions. He didn’t necessarily agree.
Some extra specific points that resonated: - 34:50 emotional affair 47:06 negative spiral 1:04:09 the "real" job of a divorce lawyer 1:07:33 all marital problems stem from this 1:08:29 why he's expensive wow great answer 1:25:00 we are always losing everyone all the time 1:28:13 mindfulness exercise - hug 1:39:02 reframing success in a relationship
Yes, you are so right!! James Sexton was brilliant though at first I was skeptical. As I continued to listen I realized some things about myself. He shared so much information and I know it would have made me stop and think about my own relationships, but I’m hearing it now and it’s okay. Excellent conversation Steven and James🥰. I recommend this episode to anyone thinking about marriage or partnership…it opened my eyes!!!
He has another interview as equally profound with minimal duplication. Idk if it’s allowed for me to post the channel, but it was 9 mos ago. This guy has a lot of unique and interesting things to say. Worth listening to both interviews in full.
He got me with the “hug them and think about this being the last hug you are able to give them, then, remember they are still here…” I want to go give my mom a hug.
I think being a funeral director is similar in this. I grew up and my father was a fd and I worked as one as well. Seeing others deepest regrets and joys day in day out you either become inured to it or sensitized. I hug my children so tight every day and take a deep breath of how they smell and feel and remember them right now before they are the new them tomorrow. On the days I do forget when I realize I forgot I tear up.
I solved all my relationship problems in my mid 40's when I decided to follow celibacy, and amazingly everything just fell into place. My life as a middle aged man blossomed, I didn't realise just how emotionally draining it was trying to please others, but mostly my own desires! Truly, if you conquer lust, attachment and dependency, life is sooooo much more rewarding and you feel a sense of self-sovereignty.
While I agree with you to some extent, part of this sounds too 'look at me, I figured it out". Make sure you don't enter into sour grape territory, where you couldn't achieve the relationship you wanted so you pretend you didn't want one in the first place, or claim that relationships aren't worth it.
@@lizxu322 Providing you conquer lust, attachment and dependency then you'll be in an excellent place to enter into a relationship! The problem is you can't expect the same from your partner, feelings and emotions in relationships are a breeding ground for desires and unrealistic expectations.
I’ve been in a couple with some advertisers and it literally makes me sick to my stomach. Nothing makes me feel like shit more than someone who wasn’t satisfied enough with me, so they had to make up for it by searching for praise and acknowledgment from people they don’t even care enough about to spend time with.
My husband leaves me notes on my computer before he leaves to work. I put notes in his lunch. His coworkers laugh but I can’t imagine my life without him
That screams insecurity and that you constantly need reassurance. What you gonna do if your partner gets bored of writing these notes, have a melt down?
@@imconfused1237 No silly, its the little continuous gestures that solidify a partnership. Think of how all other animals that form solid couples do small bond reinforcing gestures on a daily basis, oftentimes several times a day (grooming, chatting, cuddling and on)! Nature itself tells us these little gestures go far and are important!
Lawyers are better than therapist. Almost got a divorce about 7 years ago and a meeting with a lawyer taught me more than all the sessions of therapy we went to. Oddly enough, we stuck it out and have building strong once again.
When my millionaire husband didn’t want a prenup, I knew something was wrong. It ended up being wide scale tax evasion. Be careful. I fled the marriage. I didn’t even show up in court.
This married woman I knew got a call from a former nanny who was crying uncontrollably, when she asked her what was wrong, the nanny kept on apologizing. She said, I slept with your husband. The wife said, how can you do this to me? She said, that’s not the worse part, I have HIV. When the wife went to the hospital, she was tested positive, they had to sedate her. This woman is one of the nicest people I have ever met, her biggest mistake is life was not divorcing her husband knowing that he was sleeping with other women. Most people don’t use protection, if you find out your mate is cheating, run. Your health is more important.
I have a friend who has a similar story, but it was herpes. He was the one who cheated (ill give him a break, he was only 18 and learned his lesson, and now he's been married and madly in love with kids for a decade now). I guess I should be thankful my ex used a rubber each time she cheated. But she only used a rubber because it would be easier to hide it from me. So, bittersweet. For the woman you spoke about, thankfully HIV is no longer a death sentence, but that's like finding a silver lining in a bowl of feces...
I am an old man who has lost everything and everyone I've ever loved, but I'll never stop loving for as long as I live. Thank you for this reaffirming episode. It really touched my heart.
There is ALWAYS someone or something to love. I have also lost everyone and everything, except Love, so I love, love, love, love, love every moment. It is really nice. I wish you well.
I am so jealous of you. You had someone to love, and you still have. I have had very few people that I have loved and think that they were worth loving. People are definitely very disappointing. You trade you care, honesty for lies and world of hurt.
This is by far my favorite episode of your podcast so far. James moved me to tears with his candour and his unwavering faith in love despite all the (ugly) divorces he witnessed. I would like to thank you for showing men who wear their vulnerability and emotion as a badge of honour. This takes true courage and they are incredible role model for young men who can witness what real masculinity is all about.
This man is a parasite. Divorce lawyers of his type are about the assassination of the other party.....he never once spoke about fallout about children and his responsibility to suitably balanced post split. It's a win at all costs.... hence protracted, expensive and exhausting for both parties. I wonder if he thinks about the 4 deaths on the other side. It was glossed over. What about his work in hospice? I expect behind the tears over dogs and marital lessons learned he's probably somewhat troubled.
I think this guy is so special because he is so profoundly expressive in his speech, that he essentially blurs the line between a therapist and an attorney. He’s really something.
The thought of hugging someone and thinking they are gone ...and then remembering they are still there made me cry. Thank you for that, you gave something beautiful to my day.
I’m sobbing listening to this part. I lost half my family by the time I was 10. I ended up a 14 year old runaway who fell into captivity. Took me 4.5 years to escape. Spent 10 years trying to find a man to “really” love me. Spent the last 10 years taking care of my sick mother. She had 3 strokes that left her the equivalent of a 6 month old baby in an adult body. I miss hearing her talk and seeing her be the adventurous strong woman she always was. I miss her being the mom. Hearing him say all this made me realize that my whole life has been spent trying to hold on to that which I’m actively losing, just like he said. I’m gonna go hold my Angel mother tightly and make her smile that sweet smile that keeps me going. She’s my world, and I can’t imagine this world without her in it.
What an extraordinarily articulate, compassionate, humorous man… Having dealt with many lawyers in my time, he challenged my belief that lawyers are a sub-standard species of humanity. I can honestly say this is the best DOAC episode I have seen. Such beautiful reflections, great quotes and hugely entertaining!! Thank you to all involved 🙏
As a divorce mediator who has worked wiith Jim, I can say that he Is, in practice, exactly as he seems...sincere, kind, smart and integritous. I agree with every word he says!
@@jollymollyramram9702Because Jim is the diminutive or short version of James. Just as Bob is the short version of Robert. This is a very typical American thing done with names.
"I have an infinite capacity for love, no matter what I lose, cause we are losing all, all the time, but that's not a reason to not to love" one of the best episodes so far!
@@stereo-soulsoundsystem5070 stupid is as stupid talks haha (yes, you. the quote up there is just wonderful and if you think its stupid, you probably are a kid or have really no clue about how life works)
I had to STOP the video to cry, make tea, ponder, cry, savor and survive the truth of that one sentence, "I have an infinite capacity for love, no matter what I lose." I had to sit and allow the healing, the washing-clean, pouring light transmission directly from the Heart of God through my Soul; I lost my mom at 5, my dad at 11, my mind at 16, my hope at 19, my homes, every year, all my life, always moving on, seeking what love could do to heal my heart and shine through me, in a healthy way, my adoptive father at 52, (to porn, heart attack; true, it is a thing, he was 64), + 3 months later, ... my lil 27-yr.-o. Sis (to Heroin + flesh-eating bacteria someone shot her up into a hole due to that; true; frightening),at 52, my adoptive mom at 56, my family home of 51 years at 59, my willingness to accept any traces of abuse and disrespect at 50. I am now 60. I leave a wake of shock behind me, as I address any lack of loving, because I know what love is, and I carry and share it freely. I deserve and accept nothing less. I had no idea what respect was until Ger Lyons (gerlyons.net) helped me heal all my confusion, in 14 years of training in Celtic Mysticism; Ger Lyons Global Healing Events. (He's Irish, and he knows.) I am so grateful for this sharing. The wisdom, the profound truths, the laughs that were equally healing, the sweetness of the truth about Love from a man who has seen marriage fail solely due to the failure of loving, never of Love, this is everything. I am bowing to this exchange. You both are making the world a better place. I have already Subscribed. Love has never failed. Aloha, Claire
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
Its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 5 years ended, but i couldn't just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
I didn't think of it as sacrifice, until her attorney tried to take everything and leave me in poverty. It didn't work, for various reasons. But he did try, and the love of my life was right there supporting those actions.
I’m 53 years old. On my second marriage and honestly have been taking my wonderful wife for granted. This man just CHANGED my life for the better. Best guest on here EVER🙏
I wish my long term boyfriend could see this. We are finally walking away. I felt so deprived for so long. And he felt so confused for so long. If he came to me and said I have neglected you and I’m here to try. I’d literally weep and welcome it. Good luck
@@tiffanyburke2785Some are oblivious to their mistakes. Sometimes you just gotta speak up and be blunt. Or as the saying goes "closed mouths don't get fed"
@@tiffanyburke2785"long term boyfriend" sounds weird coming from an adult that's if u are, if not then that kind of makes sense. That's what teenagers say and do.
One thing that I like about your podcast is that you let your guests talk most of the time, during the entire course of your podcast. You yourself are knowledgeable in a lot of topics, have experiences of your own, yet you don’t interject or interfere while your guests share their response to your questions. Thanks for such great podcasts!
This episode was one of the most profound reflections on love and life that I have ever heard. There is so much guidance and best practices. I highly recommend it to everyone.
1. My beliefs doesn't require that you belive them. I don't need you to believe the same thing I do, just to prove my belief. 2. Prenup - is like preparing for a fight. I hope it doesn't happen, but in case it does I better be ready 3. There are so many day-to-day things that we are feeling we are not doing well enough based on nothing. Compare to what? Social media? 4. Hit send now 5. Pay attention towards your feelings and your partner's. And say it 6. All relationship problems from 2 things: "I don't know what I want and I don't know how to express it" 7. Never compare your partner to that perfect image in your head 8. We have infinite capacity for love. And although we will lost everyone we love, and it will break our hearts it's worth it, it's not the reason not to love.
agreed. specially point 7. you better ask yourself why you married your partner in the first place, what brought you to that decision.. or was it a perfect picture in your head? if it is, you shouldn't have married that partner because that picture in your head, doesn't change compared to your partner.
I thought, "I'm not going to enjoy this talk about cheating and divorces"... OMG! This has nothing to do with that (well, it does, obviously). There's SO much more to this conversation! So much empathy, so much love and care... I've loved every single second. Plus, his communication skills are superb. Thanks!! ❤
1:07:19 pay attention: “all marital problems stem from 2 things.. I don’t know what I want , and I don’t know how to express it”………COMMUNICATION IS KEY. Talk and voice your needs.
@beepbopboop7727 he talks about prioritising our needs. Easier said than done. Women have more responsibilities when it comes to their family. It's even worse when they have to work.
One of the most amazing interviews I have watched. If there was ever a manual for getting married, this podcast should be a part of it. What resonated for me was James Sexton’s emotional responses to the things of BEAUTY in his life (viz: His Dogs, Loving relationships, His Father’s Love ). His insight into relationships is stunning. I have been retired for at least 8 years now, and I have found that appreciating BEAUTY in all its forms is what makes living worthwhile.
For someone who spends his days seperating families this guy is incredibly sensitive and a romantic at heart. A very compelling speaker. Exceptionally engaging talk
@@007nadineL No he isnot. Those who marry do have yin yang, but life changes, new people come into the scene, people have problems, drinking, gambling, sexual dysfuntion...
@RothieMay no doubt. But if I were to cry about something like this it would probably cause my girlfriend to leave me. So there are very good reasons why I am different.
same. i've been single all my life. been battling severe poverty in my youth living in homeless shelters, struggling just to get to school, having to deal with a single parent that's mentally ill, later on i've had to deal with very abusive and toxic workplaces, to developing 2 chronic illnesses into my 30s, and still dealing with them in my 50's and losing the single parent and friend i had my entire life. i watch this video for entertainment value, because i know, i guarantee, i will never experience any of this. and thank goodness. this level of stress would end me. he gets so emotional...is it because of money loss? its clearly not because she was cheating on him. the word love is thrown around for some reason.
Don’t let it discourage you to find a life partner. The goal of life is to pass down the genes to the next generation. The purpose of marriage is to ensure that children have a stable home and family so they can grow up to be positive forces in a society. Don’t let the cynicism or selfishness of others deter you from having a beautiful family with kids.
The best part of this interview is James talking about His dogs and the love of his pets. The love of his mother. Speaking about hearing her voice again for the first time after she past 8 years ago. How his dad pulled out an old video and them hearing her familiar voice. His perspective of love. Very beautiful outlook. How we forget how important it is to love someone or our pets. How heartbreaking it is for us but having the joy of them makes us feel alive, how important it really is to have love.
What a great, moving interview with such a wise, gratuitous soul. I didn't expect that from a man in his line of work but appreciate his touching incite.
I bet you have never had someone on your podcast whose thoughts rolled of their tongue as quickly as his did. He is truly an expert. Excellent podcast. So authentic. So down to earth.
@@judy-annmcneill1037 anyone who is interviewed a lot - Jordan Peterson et al you will notice they say the same things, sometimes in a different way over and over again. If one thinks about it, it's only to be expected if they are interviewed so many times. I don't mind if they say the same things because often there is so much wisdom that we need to listen to them repeatedly to take it all in.
Is this man a trained journalist? How come he interviews better than all the journalists out there? He lets his guests get their full points across with no interruptions. I can't believe I watched the whole interview
A trained journalist wants to dig for controversy & appear intelligent. Whereas non-journalists are actually interested in listening and learning. He can’t be trained.
I got divorced from my first wife. Re-married, and we have been together now for over 20 years. Yes, THIS TIME IT TRULY IS DIFFERENT! I learned from the mistakes I made the first time. I have two sons and a wonderful wife. We have been through good times, bad times, and everything else inbetween. So yes, re-marrying was the best thing I ever did, but only because I really did learn from my mistakes.
@@ngsy8193 Make sure that you are compatible with your wife. Make sure that you have a solid foundation in communication before you get married. These two mistakes doomed my first marriage. My marriage now has lasted for over 25 years, still going, because I learned these lessons well.
Well I did it twice - marriage is fantastic if you can have a good one, but the chances of that nowadays are slim. The way society is today is not conducive to a marriage lasting…..
@@rufdymond Dating apps and social media has allowed people to cast a much wider net on potential mates. The better more perfect one is just around the corner...
Statistically its like walking up to a roulette wheel and picking one number and winning on the first spin. Just because you won doesn't mean that gambling is a good idea.
I think the reason we don’t do the preventative maintenance is that we build up little resentments in our relationships and we just stop feeling the same we once did. I think the key is to not get resentment..and that means we have to stop bottling stuff up and speak up when we are upset about things.
I knew a guy who was married for 50 years but was hitting on me unbeknownst to his wife. I asked him why won't he divorce his wife if he is hitting on me. He said because she would get "my money".
The majority of us have the worse opinion of attorneys but this guy broke the mold. He is a genuine human being, a very rare jewel. Thank you for showing us hope for a human lawyer.
I am so happy I made productive decisions about my finances that changed forever. I'm a single mother living in Vancouver Canada, bought my first house in October and hoping to retire soon if things keep going smoothly for me
Investing in alternate income streams should be the top priority for everyone right now especially given the global economic crisis we are currently experiencing. Stocks, gold, silver and virtual currencies are still attractive investments at the moment.
I’m looking for something to venture into on a short term basis, I really need to create an alternate source of income, what do you thing I should be buying?
Before I got married my parents told me if I did not get a prenuptial agreement they would take me out of their will. It took the pressure off me. I am so glad they insisted.
That's how I know that you're a son. No matter how rich a woman is and how poor a man, the woman ALWAYS wins in any divorce suit. Divorce is designed to appease women and girls.
@@melissabryant2251you example does not negate the post you are responding to. You ex. Took the money and probably hid it before the proceedings. Regardless, a bummer that happened
What a beautiful conversation! This is a man who obviously employs strategy, practicality, and logic in his day to day work, but he also feels so much and thinks through his and other people's emotions so deeply. Truly a beautiful, multifaceted person.
"My beliefs don't require that you believe them" is one of the best things I've heard recently so much so that it puts so many things into perspective. Thank you!
I haven’t gotten there yet in the episode but it’s so true! It makes me so sad a lot of people cannot talk to someone that disagrees with them. My dad is very liberal and my mom is very conservative, I’m so happy I grew up getting to hear both. My husband and I don’t always agree on politics or religion. But we both find each other really smart and genuinely love hearing how the other one thinks, even if we think about the topic in a different way. I’ve never felt judged for my beliefs with him. I’ve never judged him for his beliefs. I love hearing a new, well thought out perspective from my husband. It’d be so boring if we thought the same way about everything.
@@Olivia-bl8ez It’s so true but I haven’t found many people in my life who can be so secure in their skin and beliefs that they can hear what others have to say without getting offended over it. So happy you two found each other and can be your true selves around each other.
@@imnotdavidxnsx Yes at times but not always. I categorise my beliefs and my personal beliefs don’t require validation from others but my social beliefs might because I would to find people who believe in the same things as I do.
@@zunairaakbar1214 hopefully your young and your friends can grow into it. Or maybe you can be the catalyst. I’m sure your friends are great but maybe keep your eye out for more open minded friends too lol. Most people are not to the extreme with things, just gotta find them. Best of luck ❤️
'People bring different things to the table. I think love is also an economy, the giving and taking of value. It can be incredibly symbiotic and rewarding'. Brilliantly put
This podcast is a public service. Anyone considering marriage or thinking about ending one should listen to it. It’s the best relationship coaching I’ve ever encountered-WOW! Simply the best ever. Thank you, Steve, for this opportunity, and thank you, Dr. Sexton, for generously sharing your wisdom and knowledge with all of us. That was great!
Just catching up on this and wow I never thought a divorce lawyer could make me cry😢 his view on love and cherishing the present moment was so honest. Thank you !
I divorced after 13 years of marriage. To be sincere, at the bottomless pit of every failed marriage is dishonest communication. If we can be 100% open and create an environment for that to continue without judgements, many marriages will be saved.This is pure enlightenment. Thank you.
All this talk about communication but what exactly does it involve? How is it measured? When can one know that it’s effective or successful communication?
@@Jamesbaldwin44 makes sense and how often is this done to be considered healthy? Maybe that’s up to the individual couple but I’m sure there are principles involved in communication that can be applied generically and be effective when made specific with deductive reasoning. I ask this because there has been many people I’ve spoken to and communication was huge to them but when boiled down to specifics, past just the word, with given scenarios it’s mostly blank expression that follows.
I’ve been married for 36 years. He said so many things of value I had to stop and write down. Steven this is my favorite interview I’ve seen you do. I wish I had watched this before I got married. I will share this with my grandkids before they get married. Bravo 👏!
Been married for over 40 years. Thoroughly enjoy being in love with my husband. We both work on being the best version of ourselves, physically, mentally and emotionally and never take one and other for granted.
@@blueburdie6953 those doubts are more a modern day thing where social media/dating apps give you more options. Thinking that you can do better. That wasnt around 40 years ago
This is excellent. Show up as your best self. If you fail, try again. This reminds of something I once heard, "Never compare yourself to others, only compare yourself to who you were yesterday." ❤
Yep. The remarry 86% is because we all believe we are not the problem. So finding another perfect person will ensure you are divorce proof. The divorce rate is even higher there. People who successfully remarry are those who have truly introspected, most of whom it is seems go back to their original spouses and remarry them. Marriage boils down to self introspection and self development.
Wow! This man had me crying when he talked about love . He is a very intelligent person and has trully picked up the most important lessons life has to offer! Thank-you for having him on your show!
There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've learned that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years back, my wife and I were almost divorcing because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to work things out. It was a hard time, but we got past it.
I get why what you're saying is so important, and I honestly want to be happy too. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't imagine my life without her; my love for her is strong. I really want her to come back, and I'm fully dedicated to making that happen. We've tried different paths, like therapy, to fix things.
Moving on from someone you hold dear is invariably challenging, but in my experience, I was guided by a spiritual counselor who prevented the breakdown of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Thank you for this advice. I'll promptly start searching for her online. I appreciate it. I'm optimistic that pursuing this approach will also lead to favorable outcomes for me; her absence weighs heavily on me.
Mariage is not as much about finding happiness or the good person than it is about being able to deal with difficulties and self sacrifice from both parties. Nowadays, we identify hapiness with easy times. Easy times won't make you better, hard times will. And we tend to dodge or flee from hard times so they always come back until we learn how to deal properly with them or they break us.
That last question 😢 I lost my father recently and I can relate to a father who is never said “I love you “ to me as frequent when I grew older. When I graduated with from Uni, I expected my mom to cry but it was my father that did. That moment gave me pause and told me something about him that I’ll never forget, Love isn’t just a word, it’s a verb, a strong action we all take. Take time to appreciate those who love you 🙏🏽💙
MEH, not daring to word you love is a sign of pride and arrogance. Sinful! Of course action matters a lot. But words are spells. It has POWER. It can make or break minds. So you DO have to WORD your love if you want it to make a positive impact on your loved ones. Don't bs me with "action matters more", it's just cowardliness.
This is one of the BEST conversations that I've witnessed in my 43 years of living. Sitting here at work listening, I cried so much throughout. This has definitely given me a total different outlook on love, life and it has also shown me how much I take things and people in my life for granted by simply assuming that there's always tomorrow. When in reality there really may not be a tomorrow.😪 Phenomenal conversation! Thank You!🔥❤
I am so happy to hear I am not the only one deeply touched by this exchange. Thank you for expressing yourself so beautifully, Mrs. Sherron09. I am realizing how I know tears are the way the body releases cortisol, the stress hormone, and if we are crying watching this, it is healing places where we were holding onto stress about loving, so this truly is the healing diary of a CEO! It healed me. I feel refreshed now.
God this was brilliant, I just got engaged after seven years of being together, and the entire reason is that medical insurance is super important, a medical proxy is needed (we’re too far from family), combining of assets makes property ownership and management so much easier, and life insurance in case anything happens because honestly if either dies our quality of life will suck 🤷♀️ But when I try to explain this to anyone, I get absolutely shat on. Marriage is a contract, it’s a legal backing, it has nothing to do with how much this person means to me, yes we love each other, yes he’s fuckin amazing, BUT THIS IS A LEGAL AND FINANCIAL DECISION.
Here's the thing. I married young. It was so bad that I vowed never again. I stuck to that for Twenty Seven years. Had a couple of long term relationships in between but NO WAY was I going to risk marriage again. Then 15 years ago I met a man twelve years older than me. Not reallyy my type, not handsome but he had a kindly face. He turned out to be kind, loving, and just a nice man. I finally gave in and remarried. We had thirteen years together before he passed away. There was a lot of laughter, and different though we were, we had fun. I look back with affection and warmth knowing that I saved the best for last. 😊😊😊❤❤
Exacly, u found nice man, not some handsome bad man, women usually look over nice men, choose idiots and then later complain how men are bad, its same with men, they choose looks over kindness in women, then complain when she cheats.
@tizzlekizzle my partner is 12 years older than me (I'm female, and partner male) and I'm the bread winner by 3 fold. We've been together 6 years. Not all women date older men for money. For me it's maturity and kindness. He is so lovely and compassionate
He gave us the breakdown of love. This class is over. There were so many valuable journey lessons that I learned, which was paralleled here. 1) We hold our parents and partners hostage to an ideal fantasy. In doing that we never learn who they really are. 2) Could we allow ourselves to love and be loved in return? And what’s preventing us? 3) Realizing we have tools: words, gestures, embracing, cheering, listening, balancing compromising and adjusting. Directions: Apply liberally or as needed. All be it, there is a learning curve in how and when to use them. What resonated with me were the reminders that we have an infinite capacity to love and that most men’s sexual appetite is quantity and most women is quality. He elaborated with candor and simplicity. Well done and well appreciated.🙂
What a great conversation! So true. From the first day after we met, we talked every day for at least 10 hours for 14 days. After that, we decided to stay together forever. We had an absolutely great time together. We also had to get through difficult times together due to external circumstances, and not just once. We kept our promise to each other. The love of my life for 42 years received the terrible diagnosis of Alzheimer's a few years ago. As we have always stood by each other and been open and honest with each other, we will also get through this situation. Openness and honesty, even when it hurts, are the be-all and end-all of a relationship.
Inulin reverses Alzheimer's. High intensity exercise, niacin, NAC, iboga, loveyhuasca, simply a clean diet, lots of things can. Don't listen to mainstream doctors who have never done one bit of research
Wow, congratulations on your lifelong comittment, and good of you to take it seriously. I hope I have the chance for that before I die, but the older you get, the slimmer the chances.
I don’t know that I have ever seen/heard a more profound, powerful, enlightening interview in my life. This man…his raw insights and ability to unravel the complexity of life blows my mind.
Very rarely I leave a comment under the video but this gentleman said so many reasonable and logic things that I want to say "thank you " to him and the host. Subscribed
I, being almost 66 and married for 42 years, strongly believe that althoug mariage is seldom a bed of roses and there are many issues along the way and we did think of having a divorce several times, we could, as a couple, survive those hard times by staying respactful, honest and sincere. We never scolded each other nor did we get abusive or cheat. We did yell at times of course and slammed the door harder than neccesary. And now in our "old" age, still being together, we enjoy each others company, accepting our differences because the memory of the past was not ruined by abusive behavior. I am glad we overcame those times because althoug I do not believe in the concept of "a" soulmate, I do feel he and I are now soulmates. Love your channel!
I think this is what is missing from a lot of modern marriages - the tenacity to work through conflict, and conflict that can last YEARS! I’m not talking about cheating or abuse obviously. I was lucky enough to have a 10 year relationship throughout my 20s and although it ended when I turned 32… I had enough perspective to know that there were years where we weren’t getting along.. and then years that we were as close as anything. The perspective to see that a rough patch does not mean failure all the time. I’m so glad you got to find your soulmate.
This episode was insightful. But one question remains, sure many people need sex but what happens when there's just no way to make time (in between financial & health crisises or kids, lack of privacy , hormonal changes, responsibilities,just living life and doing other better things together and more) just because you're not having sex it's not just being a roommate Because a roommate wouldn't do all the things that a spouse (regardless of gender) does for you "from earning money,taking care of kids,sharing chores, supporting each other in hard times like health/financial issues and more) even without the sex. - So are people just supposed to ditch their spouses because of changes in their libido? Because as people get older while some people keep the sex life, others are happy without the sex life too (I've asked people that are fine being romantic but not necessarily having sex for years), and only thing that annoys some of those couples is that people think they can't be happy without sex so they end up feeling forced to question if something is really wrong with them. There are also asexuals. Imo main question people should ask before marriage even before pre-nups is how important is sex to them and what happens when changes happen.
Example of preventive measures: 1. Couples counseling 2. Practicing honesty 3. Reminding each other of your agreement 4. Not doing things to sabotage- and naming what those things are
Couple’s counseling is important but the earlier you go in the relationship the better because the majority of the time when couples decide to go it is already too late.
Wise words from a man who has seen a few nasty divorces. One thing is certain: we all die one day. But if you have someone to comfort you, to hold your hand and you can be there for them. "What a worthy pursuit!" That is something to remember.
Or you can have someone who doesn’t know how to behave in public sneering, being controlling, and low voice yelling at you while you’re trying to enjoy yourself; so you have to pinch the skin on the back of their arm until they behave.
@@Tunsmandieeww a pessimist. Eugh brother eugh 😂. It's not too emotional, it's purpose. Love like many things can carry us through life. You know the points between birth in death. Also to put the nail in that coffin of your born alone and die alone. Most people are usually born to a loving mother. And if you're lucky, die with those you love or protecting them. 🤠
I’ve seen dozens of clips from him and totally enjoyed his thoughts…..but this interview….couldnt have come at a better time in my life. I need to watch this everyday! 🙏
Thank you all for watching, if you could do me a favour, hit the like button on the video if you liked this conversation! It’s a topic I’ve never covered so hoping you liked it ❤
You couldn't even make it through the intro without blaspheming the Lord Jesus. If you really think you should be publicly blaspheming then be bold and do the same to Islam's Muhammad.
your a joy to listen too and love your content!
Love the new lighting and depth of field. I love listening to this guy and have seem him multiple times. In a way it seems strange because I am still deeply in love with my wife after 27 years together. It is a multicultural marriage with a 20 year age gap but if anything it has gotten better over the years. Perhaps it is because I pay attention to the things he talks about and continue to hone my relationship skills despite being together for so long.
Man, you have the most interesting and engaging podcast I've watched. Very great work bud!!
One of your most enlightening and thought provoking guests yet so far. Successful, long term relationships are far and few between. Personally? I would never even attempt such a tumultuous endeavor. Great speaker. Great discussion. Wonderful channel. ❤
My grandfather passed away last year after 78 years of marriage. Upon learning he had terminal cancer and no more than 3 months to live, he started crying and said “Who’s going to take care of my wife after I’m gone?”
That is the mindset of someone with a long-term successful marriage.
Yup. My grandparents were married for over 60 years. While he was dying, one of his biggest concerns was who would take care of my grandmother. They don't seem to make them like that anymore, and if they do, they are rare!!
Yes. I am 83. My husband and the love of my life died in my arms two years ago after 61 years of marriage. It was not a perfect marriage. I swear, every 7 or 8 years, it changed drastically, sometimes for the good, sometimes bad. We made many mistakes. But we loved each other, and we loved each other’s families, and we adored our children. So we endured…until the next change. The old poem is right: “Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be, the last of life for which the first was made.”
@@teddieryan2288brilliant, God bless you (and Chuck) for sharing this.
What is the purpose of marriage?
This atty shouldn't have this interview, unless the value of him promoting his service outweighs the aidjence he dissuades to avoid marriage. He wouldn't consider this on small following channel.
For a divorce lawyer, dude is giving better relationship advice than relationship coaches. Great episode.🙌🏾
Yup 👍
What book is it & what's the name of the lawyer author pls? TY
He’s was performing…hug your dog and smell him😭
@@Dmode-pq6gf yeah got ridiculous towards the end lol. NGL
He is wrong about the "happy wife, happy marriage" tho.
This guy said something really profound. "The reason why I never wanted to be famous is because the praise of strangers never really appealed to me" Let that sink in
Yet still did it anyway
And you'd have to deal with fans constantly approaching you in public.
That's why 'famous' people should hold on to friends they made before they became famous
@artvandelay3922 Did he do it...or his career did it without his consent... some decisions we never know they will put us in the public eye... that's why some actors choose to leave the industry.. because the fame is too much... and some are famous but live such quiet lives, only to pop up, make a movie and disappear again...
Profound? When something sounds good but lacks in logic it is often referred to as sophistry. Another term that can be used is 'specious reasoning', which refers to statements that appear plausible on the surface but are actually flawed - in this see case his actions or inactions in this regard bely his truths.
I love how well spoken he is, and how well he mixes his humor with the reality of marriage.
agreed. i like him. it was a great interview.
lawyer talk
I clicked because he's a divorce lawyer. I stayed because he's an awesome human.
That's profound
Why do people here think he's so awesome? I seriously don't get it lol.
Justifying affairs is far from being awesome lol.
He is not saying it is right or moral. @@masculinityproject3183
@@masculinityproject3183he didn’t justify it. Listen carefully. As someone with an undergrad in Psychology too, he was giving insight to the way humans justify their actions. He didn’t necessarily agree.
One of the best guests you've ever had. No BS. No coddling. No walking on eggshells. Just straight facts. Like full-grown ADULTS should be.
This is the first podcast i am hearing. What others did you find worth this quality.
Nothing worse than walking on eggshells!
@@SHiVaMRULZ90 here to ask the same question!!
He is such a good storyteller. Passionate, empathetic with a wit. And he is not afraid to show emotion. Love this conversation.
That's why he's a persuasive, successful lawyer
If I were on a jury I bet I'd be voting his way... 😅
He srsly really is that good, I'm so here for it
An actor
@@virtualtraveler2024I’m that passionate when I speak of certain things that trigger, he just happens to be an attorney earning a decent living.
There is another interview with him on Soft White Underbelly channel. Thats a good one too
Some extra specific points that resonated: -
34:50 emotional affair
47:06 negative spiral
1:04:09 the "real" job of a divorce lawyer
1:07:33 all marital problems stem from this
1:08:29 why he's expensive wow great answer
1:25:00 we are always losing everyone all the time
1:28:13 mindfulness exercise - hug
1:39:02 reframing success in a relationship
“It is so brave to love.” So many quotable moments…this conversation is one of my all time favorites.
Me too!😊
I’ve been brave and burned down several times…makes you want to only love yourself! I like this lawyer..he actually emotes!
Yes, you are so right!! James Sexton was brilliant though at first I was skeptical. As I continued to listen I realized some things about myself. He shared so much information and I know it would have made me stop and think about my own relationships, but I’m hearing it now and it’s okay. Excellent conversation Steven and James🥰. I recommend this episode to anyone thinking about marriage or partnership…it opened my eyes!!!
He has another interview as equally profound with minimal duplication. Idk if it’s allowed for me to post the channel, but it was 9 mos ago. This guy has a lot of unique and interesting things to say. Worth listening to both interviews in full.
I was posing the video just so I could write down some ( most) of his thoughts
He got me with the “hug them and think about this being the last hug you are able to give them, then, remember they are still here…” I want to go give my mom a hug.
That was so very touching to me too. ☺️
I want to give my dad a hug
I'll never forget giving my first ex gf that hug and her not knowing why validated that pain
I think being a funeral director is similar in this. I grew up and my father was a fd and I worked as one as well.
Seeing others deepest regrets and joys day in day out you either become inured to it or sensitized.
I hug my children so tight every day and take a deep breath of how they smell and feel and remember them right now before they are the new them tomorrow. On the days I do forget when I realize I forgot I tear up.
Yes, that hit me too. I wish I could give my mum and dad a hug right now, but they are gone.
Did not expect that the most beautiful thing I would watch today would be an interview with a divorce attorney.
Honestly
nah fr, what a wild ride. I felt my heart grow by several sizes after watching this video
What insight into our human condition!
Right lol
Right? Like even his response to "gold diggers" sounded wholesome
I solved all my relationship problems in my mid 40's when I decided to follow celibacy, and amazingly everything just fell into place. My life as a middle aged man blossomed, I didn't realise just how emotionally draining it was trying to please others, but mostly my own desires! Truly, if you conquer lust, attachment and dependency, life is sooooo much more rewarding and you feel a sense of self-sovereignty.
Jesus dude
@@Sean-bg7fi I'm not a Christian so I doubt it.
While I agree with you to some extent, part of this sounds too 'look at me, I figured it out". Make sure you don't enter into sour grape territory, where you couldn't achieve the relationship you wanted so you pretend you didn't want one in the first place, or claim that relationships aren't worth it.
@@lizxu322 Providing you conquer lust, attachment and dependency then you'll be in an excellent place to enter into a relationship! The problem is you can't expect the same from your partner, feelings and emotions in relationships are a breeding ground for desires and unrealistic expectations.
I really felt the same as you described. Amen.
“People who have true joy in their relationship really don’t feel like they have to advertise it.”
Fact 💯
time stamp?
I’ve been in a couple with some advertisers and it literally makes me sick to my stomach. Nothing makes me feel like shit more than someone who wasn’t satisfied enough with me, so they had to make up for it by searching for praise and acknowledgment from people they don’t even care enough about to spend time with.
This is why I don't understand why some couples are glued to posting online, why do you want everything in your life broadcast..
@@renfri5233 Seeking validation for an unfulfilled life. Instead of dealing with their own issues.
My husband leaves me notes on my computer before he leaves to work. I put notes in his lunch. His coworkers laugh but I can’t imagine my life without him
That screams insecurity and that you constantly need reassurance. What you gonna do if your partner gets bored of writing these notes, have a melt down?
This is so sweet!
That’s really nice….realizing early that it’s the little things will take you far.
@@imconfused1237 No silly, its the little continuous gestures that solidify a partnership. Think of how all other animals that form solid couples do small bond reinforcing gestures on a daily basis, oftentimes several times a day (grooming, chatting, cuddling and on)! Nature itself tells us these little gestures go far and are important!
@@imconfused1237 say you don’t understand how women operate without saying you don’t know how women operate lol.
Lawyers are better than therapist. Almost got a divorce about 7 years ago and a meeting with a lawyer taught me more than all the sessions of therapy we went to. Oddly enough, we stuck it out and have building strong once again.
That's beautiful. Congrats 👏
Agree.. my sessions with my lawyer are so calming - they serve facts in a world filled with so much misinformation.
Is your lawyer a relative? Lawyers don't make money counseling clients
Therapists in particular lock women into their beliefs. I have very few therapists I admire.
Can I ask you to impart some of your lawyers wisdom?
“My beliefs don’t require you to believe them.” So so true!!!
"white teeth and rotting gums" is one of the best descriptions of social media I've ever heard
Indeed
My mother used to say 'all fur coat and no knickers' - also implying, I thought, a distinct lack of morality.
Big hat, no cattle.
Guy should be the star guest in your wedding.
When my millionaire husband didn’t want a prenup, I knew something was wrong. It ended up being wide scale tax evasion. Be careful. I fled the marriage. I didn’t even show up in court.
This married woman I knew got a call from a former nanny who was crying uncontrollably, when she asked her what was wrong, the nanny kept on apologizing. She said, I slept with your husband. The wife said, how can you do this to me? She said, that’s not the worse part, I have HIV. When the wife went to the hospital, she was tested positive, they had to sedate her. This woman is one of the nicest people I have ever met, her biggest mistake is life was not divorcing her husband knowing that he was sleeping with other women. Most people don’t use protection, if you find out your mate is cheating, run. Your health is more important.
😢
😢😢😢😢😢
😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
I have a friend who has a similar story, but it was herpes. He was the one who cheated (ill give him a break, he was only 18 and learned his lesson, and now he's been married and madly in love with kids for a decade now). I guess I should be thankful my ex used a rubber each time she cheated. But she only used a rubber because it would be easier to hide it from me. So, bittersweet.
For the woman you spoke about, thankfully HIV is no longer a death sentence, but that's like finding a silver lining in a bowl of feces...
Wow that's dreadful.
Every married couple needs to watch this. This is free counseling!!!
No. Every couple who is thinking of getting married should watch this.
@@Kneekneee You both can be right you know smh
It's not counseling. But. It's good info.
@@KneekneeeOne does not exclude the other, no need to try to sound more profound than you are
James must be booked out for a year. 😮
Yet, there are still millions of happy marriages/families. It may not be perfect, but the genuine love and laughter are there.
I am an old man who has lost everything and everyone I've ever loved, but I'll never stop loving for as long as I live. Thank you for this reaffirming episode. It really touched my heart.
Love is all there is. It’s brave to choose love above all else. ❤
There is ALWAYS someone or something to love. I have also lost everyone and everything, except Love, so I love, love, love, love, love every moment. It is really nice. I wish you well.
@@ClaireCelticMysticLove to you. 🎉
@@AT-eu4zu❤
I am so jealous of you. You had someone to love, and you still have. I have had very few people that I have loved and think that they were worth loving. People are definitely very disappointing. You trade you care, honesty for lies and world of hurt.
This is by far my favorite episode of your podcast so far. James moved me to tears with his candour and his unwavering faith in love despite all the (ugly) divorces he witnessed. I would like to thank you for showing men who wear their vulnerability and emotion as a badge of honour. This takes true courage and they are incredible role model for young men who can witness what real masculinity is all about.
THIS! ❤
Really glad to hear this one resonated with you so deeply! Thanks for sharing 🙏
Masculinity has its positives and negatives. It doesn’t mean one is real and the other is fake.
This man is a parasite. Divorce lawyers of his type are about the assassination of the other party.....he never once spoke about fallout about children and his responsibility to suitably balanced post split. It's a win at all costs.... hence protracted, expensive and exhausting for both parties. I wonder if he thinks about the 4 deaths on the other side. It was glossed over. What about his work in hospice? I expect behind the tears over dogs and marital lessons learned he's probably somewhat troubled.
Agreed!
This lawyer is a rare bird. His understanding of human nature is profound as well as his empathy. A true gem.
There are many lawyers who have a real handle on life and human relationships because their work is hard and they have to read people.
His undergraduate degree is in psychology
I think this guy is so special because he is so profoundly expressive in his speech, that he essentially blurs the line between a therapist and an attorney. He’s really something.
Charisma
he blurs the line between attorney and actor
💯📌
I didn't expect to get emotional while listening to a divorce lawyer. The way this man talks about love is incredible. Great content, as usual.
Me too. This was exceptional because this man knows what love means... He really does
I saw another interview with him previously and it made me go buy his book. It was EXCELLENT!!
Truly!
Hey manulina how about getting a divorce and marrying me
What's your plan
@@jontyrhodes4155 ahaha
The thought of hugging someone and thinking they are gone ...and then remembering they are still there made me cry. Thank you for that, you gave something beautiful to my day.
I can’t stop thinking about this.
I’m sobbing listening to this part. I lost half my family by the time I was 10. I ended up a 14 year old runaway who fell into captivity. Took me 4.5 years to escape. Spent 10 years trying to find a man to “really” love me. Spent the last 10 years taking care of my sick mother. She had 3 strokes that left her the equivalent of a 6 month old baby in an adult body. I miss hearing her talk and seeing her be the adventurous strong woman she always was. I miss her being the mom.
Hearing him say all this made me realize that my whole life has been spent trying to hold on to that which I’m actively losing, just like he said. I’m gonna go hold my Angel mother tightly and make her smile that sweet smile that keeps me going. She’s my world, and I can’t imagine this world without her in it.
@@PneumaNooseI’ve gone through something very similar. Know you’re not alone and hug your loved ones a little longer.
What an extraordinarily articulate, compassionate, humorous man… Having dealt with many lawyers in my time, he challenged my belief that lawyers are a sub-standard species of humanity. I can honestly say this is the best DOAC episode I have seen. Such beautiful reflections, great quotes and hugely entertaining!! Thank you to all involved 🙏
I love this man self awareness. He doesn’t sugarcoat anything he does.
He's so refreshing!
It is impressive
As a divorce mediator who has worked wiith Jim, I can say that he Is, in practice, exactly as he seems...sincere, kind, smart and integritous. I agree with every word he says!
Im glad to hear that. I know some lawyers are experts at seeming like they are empathetic, but end up being a snake in the grass in person.
Why do you call him Jim when his name is James?
@@jollymollyramram9702Because Jim is the diminutive or short version of James. Just as Bob is the short version of Robert. This is a very typical American thing done with names.
Jim is a common nickname for James. James Cameron goes by Jim too
I want to marry him lol! How does one become a mediator? I think this would be great to help people work out problems to avoid divorce
"I have an infinite capacity for love, no matter what I lose, cause we are losing all, all the time, but that's not a reason to not to love" one of the best episodes so far!
that sounds stupid
@@stereo-soulsoundsystem5070I mean if that’s all you can say to give your opinion, that’s says a lot
I agree!
@@stereo-soulsoundsystem5070 stupid is as stupid talks haha (yes, you. the quote up there is just wonderful and if you think its stupid, you probably are a kid or have really no clue about how life works)
I had to STOP the video to cry, make tea, ponder, cry, savor and survive the truth of that one sentence, "I have an infinite capacity for love, no matter what I lose." I had to sit and allow the healing, the washing-clean, pouring light transmission directly from the Heart of God through my Soul;
I lost my mom at 5,
my dad at 11,
my mind at 16,
my hope at 19,
my homes, every year, all my life, always moving on,
seeking what love could do to heal my heart and shine through me, in a healthy way,
my adoptive father at 52, (to porn, heart attack; true, it is a thing, he was 64), + 3 months later, ...
my lil 27-yr.-o. Sis (to Heroin + flesh-eating bacteria someone shot her up into a hole due to that; true; frightening),at 52,
my adoptive mom at 56,
my family home of 51 years at 59,
my willingness to accept any traces of abuse and disrespect at 50.
I am now 60. I leave a wake of shock behind me, as I address any lack of loving, because I know what love is, and I carry and share it freely. I deserve and accept nothing less. I had no idea what respect was until Ger Lyons (gerlyons.net) helped me heal all my confusion, in 14 years of training in Celtic Mysticism;
Ger Lyons Global Healing Events.
(He's Irish, and he knows.)
I am so grateful for this sharing.
The wisdom, the profound truths, the laughs that were equally healing, the sweetness of the truth about Love from a man who has seen marriage fail solely due to the failure of loving, never of Love, this is everything.
I am bowing to this exchange.
You both are making the world a better place.
I have already Subscribed.
Love has never failed.
Aloha, Claire
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
Its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 5 years ended, but i couldn't just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Intriguing! I'm curious, how did you find a spiritual counselor, and what's the most effective way for me to reach him?
Meet father obah eze, a renowned spiritual counselor acclaimed for his talent in bringing back ex-partners.
Thank you for this valuable information.
I just checked father obah eze out, he’s really legit thanks for the recommendation
I'm sorry, but voodoo doesn't work.
- “Empty barrels make the most noise”
- “Money talks, wealth whispers”
-> The guy drops a wisdom every second sentence. Love it!
Awsome, I totally agree.
"4 suicides on opposing side" mentions he did his job too well. Piece of shat
Whoever discovered water, it wasn’t a fish.
Wealth whispers unless your Arab or Nigerian
I literally started writing them down in the notes on my phone as I listened. I've finished the interview and I've got 8 different quotes/sayings.
“True love is when it’s not even sacrificing to give.” Beautiful.
Indication of, kindness, highest degree. Great catch and cheers for sending thus, mind blowing sentence
I didn't think of it as sacrifice, until
her attorney tried to take everything and leave me in poverty.
It didn't work, for various reasons.
But he did try, and the love of my life was right there supporting those actions.
I’m 53 years old. On my second marriage and honestly have been taking my wonderful wife for granted. This man just CHANGED my life for the better. Best guest on here EVER🙏
I wish my long term boyfriend could see this. We are finally walking away. I felt so deprived for so long. And he felt so confused for so long. If he came to me and said I have neglected you and I’m here to try. I’d literally weep and welcome it. Good luck
@@tiffanyburke2785I hope and pray your next, if you wish it, is much more successful and everything you needed that wasn’t met previously
@@tiffanyburke2785Some are oblivious to their mistakes. Sometimes you just gotta speak up and be blunt. Or as the saying goes "closed mouths don't get fed"
Moron, someone has to give in insight not to take your wife for granted especially when u are in your second marriage 😁😁😁🤡
@@tiffanyburke2785"long term boyfriend" sounds weird coming from an adult that's if u are, if not then that kind of makes sense. That's what teenagers say and do.
I never thought I’d learn so much about love from a divorce lawyer
“Money talks but wealth whispers “ great video! So many gems .
One thing that I like about your podcast is that you let your guests talk most of the time, during the entire course of your podcast. You yourself are knowledgeable in a lot of topics, have experiences of your own, yet you don’t interject or interfere while your guests share their response to your questions.
Thanks for such great podcasts!
Wrong. He does that because he is not knowledgeable in a lot of topics. But it does make for a better interview.
Agreed. He doesn’t make it about himself
YES! this is a massive strength Steven.
@@DaveCoakleyup
Agreed. Top notch interview skills
It’s rare to see such a jaw dropping mix of aching sentimentality and cynicism, all synthesised through deep philosophical insight. Awesome.
YES. Painfully, refreshingly honest.
Not even cynicism, it's experience and data
😅 i found it attractive 😂
cooked
@@Anubis_375Your comment made me feel less cynical.
This episode was one of the most profound reflections on love and life that I have ever heard. There is so much guidance and best practices. I highly recommend it to everyone.
1. My beliefs doesn't require that you belive them. I don't need you to believe the same thing I do, just to prove my belief.
2. Prenup - is like preparing for a fight. I hope it doesn't happen, but in case it does I better be ready
3. There are so many day-to-day things that we are feeling we are not doing well enough based on nothing. Compare to what? Social media?
4. Hit send now
5. Pay attention towards your feelings and your partner's. And say it
6. All relationship problems from 2 things: "I don't know what I want and I don't know how to express it"
7. Never compare your partner to that perfect image in your head
8. We have infinite capacity for love. And although we will lost everyone we love, and it will break our hearts it's worth it, it's not the reason not to love.
agreed. specially point 7. you better ask yourself why you married your partner in the first place, what brought you to that decision..
or was it a perfect picture in your head? if it is, you shouldn't have married that partner because that picture in your head, doesn't change compared to your partner.
#8 proves we are created by God because God is love. It is who wants us to be: LOVE.
I thought, "I'm not going to enjoy this talk about cheating and divorces"... OMG! This has nothing to do with that (well, it does, obviously). There's SO much more to this conversation! So much empathy, so much love and care... I've loved every single second. Plus, his communication skills are superb. Thanks!! ❤
1:07:19 pay attention: “all marital problems stem from 2 things.. I don’t know what I want , and I don’t know how to express it”………COMMUNICATION IS KEY.
Talk and voice your needs.
I don’t think that’s accurate. I think its more of “I’m not getting my needs met and your not hearing it when I express it”.
@@beepbopboop7727are you expressing those needs within your mind or out loud with your voice & actions? don't leave things up to assumption.
@beepbopboop7727 he talks about prioritising our needs. Easier said than done. Women have more responsibilities when it comes to their family. It's even worse when they have to work.
Thanks I was hoping to find the answer in the comments
And if when you talk it’s ignored DON’T MARRY THAT PERSON
One of the most amazing interviews I have watched.
If there was ever a manual for getting married, this podcast should be a part of it.
What resonated for me was James Sexton’s emotional responses to the things of BEAUTY
in his life (viz: His Dogs, Loving relationships, His Father’s Love ). His insight into relationships is stunning. I have been retired for at least 8 years now, and I have found that appreciating BEAUTY in all its forms is what makes living worthwhile.
So wonderful to see a hard nosed lawyer who has witnessed so much divorce yet still has the capacity to feel and express joy and love.
What a guy ❤
RIGHT!!! Its the empathy and perspective that makes him so much different than the typical lawyer, esp one that specializes in divorces
Couldn’t agree more
For someone who spends his days seperating families this guy is incredibly sensitive and a romantic at heart. A very compelling speaker. Exceptionally engaging talk
Hope it's genuine. These folks are masters at winning an audience. Remember that!
He didn't cause those marriages to fail 🤷♀️
He doesn't separate families, he help people to negotiate the law provisions to formally disolve already destroyed marriages.
He’s not separating families , they are hiring him after they’ve been separated to guide them legally
@@cesaravegah3787he isn’t doing arbitration.
He is a lawyer that gets hired by one side to get as much as possible. Other side does the same.
This guy never fails to be a remarkable guest on any podcast. His dialogue and insights are thoughtful, poignant and colorful.
There's more? I'm finding it all. This guy knows what's up
He's missing a crucial factor in couplings...
YIN YANG
@@007nadineL No he isnot. Those who marry do have yin yang, but life changes, new people come into the scene, people have problems, drinking, gambling, sexual dysfuntion...
@@nt4081exactly
Yeah, he had a great interview on a the Financial Diet with Chelsea too
When James spoke about his love for his dog made me cry and touch me deeply.. this is an important conversation on many levels.... Thank you
I cried like a baby listening to this. Cannot believe I learned so much from a divorce lawyer. Thank you for bringing in him for this discussion.
Me tooooo! So DEEP and so TRUE!
SAME! ❤
As a man, I can say nothing about this made me want to cry .. that is bizarre to me.
@RothieMay no doubt. But if I were to cry about something like this it would probably cause my girlfriend to leave me. So there are very good reasons why I am different.
@RothieMay that's kind of my point. We are all different but in the same way .. men and women
“It’s a game we can’t win and we just keep playing it.” Cheers to all of us who keep playing may your heart never grow weary.
🎯
I feel we win when both are happy together and push through all struggles together.
Fun is in the journey. It’s a game of living, learning, having fun as long as it lasts and as much as possible.
The only winning move is *not to play.*
Even as a single person who has never been married, I found this interview so interesting and insightful. James is a brilliant guest.
same. i've been single all my life. been battling severe poverty in my youth living in homeless shelters, struggling just to get to school, having to deal with a single parent that's mentally ill, later on i've had to deal with very abusive and toxic workplaces, to developing 2 chronic illnesses into my 30s, and still dealing with them in my 50's and losing the single parent and friend i had my entire life. i watch this video for entertainment value, because i know, i guarantee, i will never experience any of this. and thank goodness. this level of stress would end me. he gets so emotional...is it because of money loss? its clearly not because she was cheating on him. the word love is thrown around for some reason.
Don’t let it discourage you to find a life partner. The goal of life is to pass down the genes to the next generation. The purpose of marriage is to ensure that children have a stable home and family so they can grow up to be positive forces in a society. Don’t let the cynicism or selfishness of others deter you from having a beautiful family with kids.
@@WorldlyBudgetThe goal for some people. Not everyone has the same life goals. That's the difference between being animals and being human.
This human is one of the most intellectual people I have ever listened to.
Best of luck for both of you.
The best part of this interview is James talking about His dogs and the love of his pets. The love of his mother. Speaking about hearing her voice again for the first time after she past 8 years ago. How his dad pulled out an old video and them hearing her familiar voice. His perspective of love. Very beautiful outlook. How we forget how important it is to love someone or our pets. How heartbreaking it is for us but having the joy of them makes us feel alive, how important it really is to have love.
I was sobbing at work through that section of the interview. 🤦🏻♀️
Lawyers know how to tug at your emotional strings
"Money talks, but Wealth whispers." Brilliant!! The most profound interview I've heard in awhile. Eyes wide opened.🙏🏼
That's been a saying for a while. I personally didn't hear any brilliance from him. He's just mildly entertaining; I can't take him seriously.
What does that mean?
@@swampsprite9such a dumb saying too. Cope by poor people.
That’s always been incorrect lol
What a great, moving interview with such a wise, gratuitous soul. I didn't expect that from a man in his line of work but appreciate his touching incite.
I bet you have never had someone on your podcast whose thoughts rolled of their tongue as quickly as his did. He is truly an expert. Excellent podcast. So authentic. So down to earth.
WORD. His analogy game is god-tier! I'd be terrified to be opposing counsel.
Even faster at 2x the speed lol
Well, no, he’s just rehearsed everything a lot. If you listen to him in other interviews you’ll see.
@@okayrachelmae I see your point. I have never heard him before. Thank you for letting me know.
@@judy-annmcneill1037 anyone who is interviewed a lot - Jordan Peterson et al you will notice they say the same things, sometimes in a different way over and over again. If one thinks about it, it's only to be expected if they are interviewed so many times. I don't mind if they say the same things because often there is so much wisdom that we need to listen to them repeatedly to take it all in.
Is this man a trained journalist? How come he interviews better than all the journalists out there? He lets his guests get their full points across with no interruptions. I can't believe I watched the whole interview
He’s a lawyer. They’re used to arguing cases.
He let's them COOKKK.
@@NegritaBrujita I believe he is talking about the interviewer, the guy who has this podcast...
A trained journalist wants to dig for controversy & appear intelligent. Whereas non-journalists are actually interested in listening and learning.
He can’t be trained.
I think it has some cuts. Most podcasts do, but still, he's really good at keeping a conversation\interview going
I got divorced from my first wife. Re-married, and we have been together now for over 20 years. Yes, THIS TIME IT TRULY IS DIFFERENT! I learned from the mistakes I made the first time. I have two sons and a wonderful wife. We have been through good times, bad times, and everything else inbetween. So yes, re-marrying was the best thing I ever did, but only because I really did learn from my mistakes.
Mistakes?
Yeah theyre different for everyone @@riceboy287
@@riceboy287marrying the wrong person and for the wrong reasons. Easy
What mistakes were they and how did you learn from them
@@ngsy8193 Make sure that you are compatible with your wife. Make sure that you have a solid foundation in communication before you get married. These two mistakes doomed my first marriage. My marriage now has lasted for over 25 years, still going, because I learned these lessons well.
This man is, above all, an artist. Great, great sensibility.
He is so incredibly honest, intelligent, articulate, and even incredibly funny. He definitely has a gift and a purpose.
Married 20+ years, and I still love her. Marriage is beautiful. It's not always easy, but it's worth it.
Relationships can be beautiful.
Whatever legal status is imposed on them does not matter
@@jezalb2710 👍
Exactly.
Well I did it twice - marriage is fantastic if you can have a good one, but the chances of that nowadays are slim. The way society is today is not conducive to a marriage lasting…..
@@rufdymond Dating apps and social media has allowed people to cast a much wider net on potential mates. The better more perfect one is just around the corner...
Statistically its like walking up to a roulette wheel and picking one number and winning on the first spin. Just because you won doesn't mean that gambling is a good idea.
"I get misty-eyed at marriages as much as anybody, and not just for future business purposes." - Glad he clarified that.
I has a delicate sense of humor 😅
😂
I wanna know what percentage of SECOND marriages end in divorce!
@@MatthewElvey 60 to 70%
50 % or more. I want the stats on 3-4th marriages.
I think the reason we don’t do the preventative maintenance is that we build up little resentments in our relationships and we just stop feeling the same we once did. I think the key is to not get resentment..and that means we have to stop bottling stuff up and speak up when we are upset about things.
Some love lasts. My husband and I have been married for 55 years, and we still love each other.
I knew a guy who was married for 50 years but was hitting on me unbeknownst to his wife. I asked him why won't he divorce his wife if he is hitting on me. He said because she would get "my money".
55 years without getting caught. I like him 😏
People are absolutely vile on the internet, wtf are these responses 😅
Yup Penelope
@@dawidd6356they can’t see outside of their situation .
The majority of us have the worse opinion of attorneys but this guy broke the mold. He is a genuine human being, a very rare jewel. Thank you for showing us hope for a human lawyer.
he is promoting himself for sure
He's very shrewd.
"Sexton" isnt a surname id trust
I’m curious how great he was during his first marriage lol
@@tmhwriter
Precisely why you'd higher him...
Thanks!
Married 43 years. Have had faced many challenges . God has given us so much grace!!!😊
I am so happy I made productive decisions about my finances that changed forever. I'm a single mother living in Vancouver Canada, bought my first house in October and hoping to retire soon if things keep going smoothly for me
Investing in alternate income streams should be the top priority for everyone right now especially given the global economic crisis we are currently experiencing. Stocks, gold, silver and virtual currencies are still attractive investments at the moment.
I’m looking for something to venture into on a short term basis, I really need to create an alternate source of income, what do you thing I should be buying?
Kate Mellon Bruce is not just my family’s financial advisor, she’s a licensed and FINRA agent who other families in the US employs her services
She's active on face book @
Kate Mellon Bruce
What a fantastic, intelligent, articulate witty and funny man James Sexton is. He had me in tears when he talked about love snd loss.
Before I got married my parents told me if I did not get a prenuptial agreement they would take me out of their will. It took the pressure off me. I am so glad they insisted.
That's how I know that you're a son. No matter how rich a woman is and how poor a man, the woman ALWAYS wins in any divorce suit. Divorce is designed to appease women and girls.
Nope. My ex was an accountant. Stole $ from me for 10yrs before divorce. He loved $ not me. Sad.
@@Planeet-Longyup..and that's why I say F western values
That is toxic as hell
@@melissabryant2251you example does not negate the post you are responding to. You ex. Took the money and probably hid it before the proceedings. Regardless, a bummer that happened
What a beautiful conversation! This is a man who obviously employs strategy, practicality, and logic in his day to day work, but he also feels so much and thinks through his and other people's emotions so deeply. Truly a beautiful, multifaceted person.
I've loved James Sexton since the day I saw him guest on The Financial Diet! The metaphors, the eloquence, the logical flow = chef's kiss!
"My beliefs don't require that you believe them" is one of the best things I've heard recently so much so that it puts so many things into perspective. Thank you!
And sadly he also had to acknowledge the fact that, "your beliefs may require that I believe them..."
I haven’t gotten there yet in the episode but it’s so true! It makes me so sad a lot of people cannot talk to someone that disagrees with them. My dad is very liberal and my mom is very conservative, I’m so happy I grew up getting to hear both.
My husband and I don’t always agree on politics or religion. But we both find each other really smart and genuinely love hearing how the other one thinks, even if we think about the topic in a different way. I’ve never felt judged for my beliefs with him. I’ve never judged him for his beliefs. I love hearing a new, well thought out perspective from my husband. It’d be so boring if we thought the same way about everything.
@@Olivia-bl8ez It’s so true but I haven’t found many people in my life who can be so secure in their skin and beliefs that they can hear what others have to say without getting offended over it.
So happy you two found each other and can be your true selves around each other.
@@imnotdavidxnsx Yes at times but not always. I categorise my beliefs and my personal beliefs don’t require validation from others but my social beliefs might because I would to find people who believe in the same things as I do.
@@zunairaakbar1214 hopefully your young and your friends can grow into it. Or maybe you can be the catalyst. I’m sure your friends are great but maybe keep your eye out for more open minded friends too lol. Most people are not to the extreme with things, just gotta find them. Best of luck ❤️
'People bring different things to the table. I think love is also an economy, the giving and taking of value. It can be incredibly symbiotic and rewarding'. Brilliantly put
This podcast is a public service. Anyone considering marriage or thinking about ending one should listen to it. It’s the best relationship coaching I’ve ever encountered-WOW! Simply the best ever. Thank you, Steve, for this opportunity, and thank you, Dr. Sexton, for generously sharing your wisdom and knowledge with all of us. That was great!
Absolutely
Just catching up on this and wow I never thought a divorce lawyer could make me cry😢 his view on love and cherishing the present moment was so honest. Thank you !
I divorced after 13 years of marriage. To be sincere, at the bottomless pit of every failed marriage is dishonest communication. If we can be 100% open and create an environment for that to continue without judgements, many marriages will be saved.This is pure enlightenment. Thank you.
If you're honest as a man, most of the time you won't even get a first date, let alone a marriage.
You don’t have to be honest, after getting divorce you have no privacy. It’s ok to not share all of your personal information with anyone I believe
Failed marriages come from men who don't keep their wedding vows. You said "till death do us part". But I guess communication issues counts as death.
All this talk about communication but what exactly does it involve? How is it measured? When can one know that it’s effective or successful communication?
@@Jamesbaldwin44 makes sense and how often is this done to be considered healthy? Maybe that’s up to the individual couple but I’m sure there are principles involved in communication that can be applied generically and be effective when made specific with deductive reasoning.
I ask this because there has been many people I’ve spoken to and communication was huge to them but when boiled down to specifics, past just the word, with given scenarios it’s mostly blank expression that follows.
I’ve been married for 36 years. He said so many things of value I had to stop and write down. Steven this is my favorite interview I’ve seen you do. I wish I had watched this before I got married. I will share this with my grandkids before they get married. Bravo 👏!
James Sexton is an incredible speaker! He has a ton of interviews....look up his Great White Underbelly interview he's the best!
38 years married here. This talk was amazing!
Don't !!!
He's missing so much....
@@LevityBrevity Soft White Underbelly?
@@cp6fr it's another TH-cam channel..like Diary of a CEO.
Been married for over 40 years. Thoroughly enjoy being in love with my husband. We both work on being the best version of ourselves, physically, mentally and emotionally and never take one and other for granted.
Thats amazing. Did you ever have doubts about him or were you two ever close to divorcing?
This is some of the best advice for a marriage , your comment here.. Very wise
Very true🙏🙏🙏
@@blueburdie6953 those doubts are more a modern day thing where social media/dating apps give you more options. Thinking that you can do better. That wasnt around 40 years ago
This is excellent. Show up as your best self. If you fail, try again. This reminds of something I once heard, "Never compare yourself to others, only compare yourself to who you were yesterday." ❤
How important is sex when you over 60? I imagine the priority drops a lot compared to under 50.
Yep. The remarry 86% is because we all believe we are not the problem. So finding another perfect person will ensure you are divorce proof. The divorce rate is even higher there. People who successfully remarry are those who have truly introspected, most of whom it is seems go back to their original spouses and remarry them. Marriage boils down to self introspection and self development.
Wow! This man had me crying when he talked about love . He is a very intelligent person and has trully picked up the most important lessons life has to offer! Thank-you for having him on your show!
There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've learned that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years back, my wife and I were almost divorcing because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to work things out. It was a hard time, but we got past it.
I get why what you're saying is so important, and I honestly want to be happy too. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't imagine my life without her; my love for her is strong. I really want her to come back, and I'm fully dedicated to making that happen. We've tried different paths, like therapy, to fix things.
Moving on from someone you hold dear is invariably challenging, but in my experience, I was guided by a spiritual counselor who prevented the breakdown of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Thank you for this advice. I'll promptly start searching for her online. I appreciate it. I'm optimistic that pursuing this approach will also lead to favorable outcomes for me; her absence weighs heavily on me.
Welcome...You should
Mariage is not as much about finding happiness or the good person than it is about being able to deal with difficulties and self sacrifice from both parties. Nowadays, we identify hapiness with easy times. Easy times won't make you better, hard times will. And we tend to dodge or flee from hard times so they always come back until we learn how to deal properly with them or they break us.
1:31:20 "love is not permanently gifted, it is loaned" what a beautiful, melancholic summary of human existence
I read recently - "Death is the coin with which we pay for life" so you could rewrite that as sorrow is the coin with which we pay for happiness.
Sorry I’m not native English speaker, I’m not quite sure what’s mean, is anyone able to explain it to me please ? Thanks in advance ❤
@@archon8211 thank u
What is meant by that quote?
@@anyawang3864practice or do it daily just as you literally service your interest over loan ma
This lawyer is well spoken and articulate. I could listen to him speak all day.
That last question 😢 I lost my father recently and I can relate to a father who is never said “I love you “ to me as frequent when I grew older. When I graduated with from Uni, I expected my mom to cry but it was my father that did. That moment gave me pause and told me something about him that I’ll never forget, Love isn’t just a word, it’s a verb, a strong action we all take.
Take time to appreciate those who love you 🙏🏽💙
Words are air. Action, behavior is what matters.
Love is an action verb.
Read King Lear.
MEH, not daring to word you love is a sign of pride and arrogance.
Sinful!
Of course action matters a lot. But words are spells. It has POWER. It can make or break minds. So you DO have to WORD your love if you want it to make a positive impact on your loved ones.
Don't bs me with "action matters more", it's just cowardliness.
Imagine how better his and your day would be if he tried to voice all that love for you. Yeah.
@@Zilma-jm8sz Demanding words and not appreciating action is narcissism and a warning sign.
❤❤❤❤❤
This Lawyer is more than a lawyer, he is the fruit of human kind. he is touched. Great episode.
I need lectures. I will take law school/paralegal as long as he's the professor
This is one of the BEST conversations that I've witnessed in my 43 years of living. Sitting here at work listening, I cried so much throughout. This has definitely given me a total different outlook on love, life and it has also shown me how much I take things and people in my life for granted by simply assuming that there's always tomorrow. When in reality there really may not be a tomorrow.😪 Phenomenal conversation! Thank You!🔥❤
I am so happy to hear I am not the only one deeply touched by this exchange. Thank you for expressing yourself so beautifully, Mrs. Sherron09. I am realizing how I know tears are the way the body releases cortisol, the stress hormone, and if we are crying watching this, it is healing places where we were holding onto stress about loving, so this truly is the healing diary of a CEO! It healed me. I feel refreshed now.
Yeah, I shed a tear 😢 at the dog bit
God this was brilliant, I just got engaged after seven years of being together, and the entire reason is that medical insurance is super important, a medical proxy is needed (we’re too far from family), combining of assets makes property ownership and management so much easier, and life insurance in case anything happens because honestly if either dies our quality of life will suck 🤷♀️
But when I try to explain this to anyone, I get absolutely shat on. Marriage is a contract, it’s a legal backing, it has nothing to do with how much this person means to me, yes we love each other, yes he’s fuckin amazing, BUT THIS IS A LEGAL AND FINANCIAL DECISION.
Here's the thing. I married young. It was so bad that I vowed never again. I stuck to that for Twenty Seven years. Had a couple of long term relationships in between but NO WAY was I going to risk marriage again. Then 15 years ago I met a man twelve years older than me. Not reallyy my type, not handsome but he had a kindly face. He turned out to be kind, loving, and just a nice man. I finally gave in and remarried. We had thirteen years together before he passed away.
There was a lot of laughter, and different though we were, we had fun. I look back with affection and warmth knowing that I saved the best for last. 😊😊😊❤❤
Thanks for sharing that
This is beautiful.
Exacly, u found nice man, not some handsome bad man, women usually look over nice men, choose idiots and then later complain how men are bad, its same with men, they choose looks over kindness in women, then complain when she cheats.
Was he wealthy?
@tizzlekizzle my partner is 12 years older than me (I'm female, and partner male) and I'm the bread winner by 3 fold. We've been together 6 years. Not all women date older men for money. For me it's maturity and kindness. He is so lovely and compassionate
This guy is SO GOOD at talking, so smart and insightful, but also funny and really great rhetoric. I could listen to him all day. Huge respect.👌
YUP.
He gave us the breakdown of love. This class is over. There were so many valuable journey lessons that I learned, which was paralleled here.
1) We hold our parents and partners hostage to an ideal fantasy. In doing that we never learn who they really are.
2) Could we allow ourselves to love and be loved in return? And what’s preventing us?
3) Realizing we have tools: words, gestures, embracing, cheering, listening, balancing compromising and adjusting. Directions: Apply liberally or as needed. All be it, there is a learning curve in how and when to use them.
What resonated with me were the reminders that we have an infinite capacity to love and that most men’s sexual appetite is quantity and most women is quality. He elaborated with candor and simplicity. Well done and well appreciated.🙂
Tks for this briefing.
Well I don't want it to be quantity, I want that one
“He reminded me of a thing we forget, a thing that we all forget… that i have an infinite capacity for love. No matter what I lose”. 😭 1:33:35
What a great conversation! So true. From the first day after we met, we talked every day for at least 10 hours for 14 days. After that, we decided to stay together forever. We had an absolutely great time together. We also had to get through difficult times together due to external circumstances, and not just once. We kept our promise to each other. The love of my life for 42 years received the terrible diagnosis of Alzheimer's a few years ago. As we have always stood by each other and been open and honest with each other, we will also get through this situation. Openness and honesty, even when it hurts, are the be-all and end-all of a relationship.
Make sure she's not taking a statin drug which will further degrade her cognitive abilities.
Inulin reverses Alzheimer's. High intensity exercise, niacin, NAC, iboga, loveyhuasca, simply a clean diet, lots of things can. Don't listen to mainstream doctors who have never done one bit of research
Wow, congratulations on your lifelong comittment, and good of you to take it seriously. I hope I have the chance for that before I die, but the older you get, the slimmer the chances.
@@wasitmagic No Statine (medical field)! 😀
I don’t know that I have ever seen/heard a more profound, powerful, enlightening interview in my life. This man…his raw insights and ability to unravel the complexity of life blows my mind.
Why have I never seen this guy before? He is one of the most wise people I've ever heard.
I first saw him on "Soft White Underbelly." Highly recommended!👍
You should watch his video on Soft White Underbelly. It's just as profound!
Of course he is he wants your money
@@SheenaRea me too
yes i thought iam i only finding him wise😆 he is really gem and i loved his cultural outlook towards life
Very rarely I leave a comment under the video but this gentleman said so many reasonable and logic things that I want to say "thank you " to him and the host. Subscribed
I, being almost 66 and married for 42 years, strongly believe that althoug mariage is seldom a bed of roses and there are many issues along the way and we did think of having a divorce several times, we could, as a couple, survive those hard times by staying respactful, honest and sincere. We never scolded each other nor did we get abusive or cheat. We did yell at times of course and slammed the door harder than neccesary. And now in our "old" age, still being together, we enjoy each others company, accepting our differences because the memory of the past was not ruined by abusive behavior. I am glad we overcame those times because althoug I do not believe in the concept of "a" soulmate, I do feel he and I are now soulmates.
Love your channel!
I think this is what is missing from a lot of modern marriages - the tenacity to work through conflict, and conflict that can last YEARS! I’m not talking about cheating or abuse obviously. I was lucky enough to have a 10 year relationship throughout my 20s and although it ended when I turned 32… I had enough perspective to know that there were years where we weren’t getting along.. and then years that we were as close as anything. The perspective to see that a rough patch does not mean failure all the time. I’m so glad you got to find your soulmate.
Never heard what you should never hear an say no too getting married.
Awe that's so wonderful! Good for you two! ❤
@@winkA1....also dancing in the kitchen in your socks. 😁
This episode was insightful. But one question remains, sure many people need sex but what happens when there's just no way to make time (in between financial & health crisises or kids, lack of privacy , hormonal changes, responsibilities,just living life and doing other better things together and more) just because you're not having sex it's not just being a roommate Because a roommate wouldn't do all the things that a spouse (regardless of gender) does for you "from earning money,taking care of kids,sharing chores, supporting each other in hard times like health/financial issues and more) even without the sex.
- So are people just supposed to ditch their spouses because of changes in their libido?
Because as people get older while some people keep the sex life, others are happy without the sex life too (I've asked people that are fine being romantic but not necessarily having sex for years), and only thing that annoys some of those couples is that people think they can't be happy without sex so they end up feeling forced to question if something is really wrong with them. There are also asexuals. Imo main question people should ask before marriage even before pre-nups is how important is sex to them and what happens when changes happen.
Example of preventive measures:
1. Couples counseling
2. Practicing honesty
3. Reminding each other of your agreement
4. Not doing things to sabotage- and naming what those things are
Couple’s counseling is important but the earlier you go in the relationship the better because the majority of the time when couples decide to go it is already too late.
Yeah, Good luck with that.
1.5 And individual counseling. Two individuals’ past traumas must be realized before/during couple’s counseling.
Therapy makes you addicted to your trauma and talking about it.
Counseling isnt much different
@@NowioFel .. If you have an addictive personality, I can see that
Wise words from a man who has seen a few nasty divorces. One thing is certain: we all die one day. But if you have someone to comfort you, to hold your hand and you can be there for them. "What a worthy pursuit!"
That is something to remember.
That's an emotional way to think about life and death. Either way, we came to the world alone and will leave alone. That's more factual.
Or you can have someone who doesn’t know how to behave in public sneering, being controlling, and low voice yelling at you while you’re trying to enjoy yourself; so you have to pinch the skin on the back of their arm until they behave.
@@Tunsmandieeww a pessimist. Eugh brother eugh 😂. It's not too emotional, it's purpose. Love like many things can carry us through life. You know the points between birth in death. Also to put the nail in that coffin of your born alone and die alone. Most people are usually born to a loving mother. And if you're lucky, die with those you love or protecting them. 🤠
@@MatthewHanson1Cut the shit with your fairytale...what he said is true
@@FindTheTRUTH337Your picking skills are bad...
I’ve seen dozens of clips from him and totally enjoyed his thoughts…..but this interview….couldnt have come at a better time in my life. I need to watch this everyday! 🙏
Nevr expected a divorce expert to be so wise and profoundly articulate about the nature of Love.
Ikr!!!!
I mean that’s his job and he’s showing his proficiency
@@darthjakenjanje1877 yah fair! Totally makes sense when you think about it. Just wasn't expecting it I guess.