The Hell Of Having Kids, As Told By Comedians
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ม.ค. 2021
- Before any of you pop out another quarantine kid, watch this first. Thank us later.
Subscribe: bit.ly/2Kncxw6
About Netflix Is A Joke:
The official hub of Netflix stand-up, comedy series, films, and all things funny - curated by the world’s most advanced algorithm and a depressed, yet lovable, cartoon horse. Their unlikely friendship is our story…
About Netflix:
Netflix is the world's leading streaming entertainment service with over 204 million paid memberships in over 190 countries enjoying TV series, documentaries and feature films across a wide variety of genres and languages. Members can watch as much as they want, anytime, anywhere, on any internet-connected screen. Members can play, pause and resume watching, all without commercials or commitments.
Connect with Netflix Is A Joke:
Visit Netflix WEBSITE: nflx.it/29BcWb5
Like Netflix Is A Joke on FACEBOOK: bit.ly/2xD5zfu
Follow Netflix Is A Joke on TWITTER: bit.ly/2N6ENkx
Follow Netflix Is A Joke on INSTAGRAM: bit.ly/2VTQcxu - ตลก
If your kid names their period jason because it came on friday the 13th, you're a supreme parent.
🤣 he was so proud
@@Famiry_Guy_Ken 😂😂 shii I would be too
Yes
Lmaooooo
Just seen this. I said the same shit!!
“I tried to stop it dad,” Child haven’t we all💀
😂😂😂😂
1st of many times when she will try and stop it. 🔴
Yep I used toilet paper
"Bitch, you promised!" Lol wut?
I figured out a pretty good way. When I was still in the womb, I decided to get my proto-ovaries to descend about two months into the pregnancy so they became testes, and that pretty much solved the whole issue.
No parent has ever made me want to be a parent, best birth control ever 😂
FRR
Children really aren't that bad, I have 5 of them, the oldest is 5 🤣🤣🤣 1 boy the rest of them are girls
Consider how comedians make EVERYTHING sound.
They make every form of transportation sound like pure hell.
If I took all my advice from comedians, I would never have dated, gotten married,
had children, visited another country
or gone to a water park.
I would have laughed at the standup,
nodded sagely,
And lived a secure, grey little life, lol.
Children, ideally, need a parent to be at least somewhat prepared and hopefullly emotionally available.
And for anyone who might become a parent, I would say, yeah..
If you think you have a cluster B personality disorder, yeah, seek treatment instead.
If you had a terrible childhood, or feel like you have depression or anxiety seek counseling. If you have a serious addiction problem, get help.
If you are broke or have terrible credit, reach out for help on how to start making that better.
If you're with a terrible partner, don't deliberately get pregnant-- and what are you waiting for, get out of there!
If they're abusive, call for help!!
If you have a dream to follow, consider following it.
But those are all just standard pieces of good life advice anyway.
They're things anyone should be doing anyway, because they deserve a good life.
And if you have love to give, children can be one of the best parts of a good life.
Look at Patton Oswalt.
A huge chunk of his standup was about how awful kids are....until he had one.
And then that was replaced by how great his child is.
Im with Lilith. At 54, everytime a friend tells me some precious story, my decision is confirmed. Never regretted it once.
Bill burr surprisingly makes it sound not so bad... Ironic
“These ain’t the first set of crack babies ive raised”
“God, I can’t keep being by the crack baby keeper” lmao
Who is she???
Hella funny
@@leeedwards9275 Ms pat
Holy shit Berts daughter is hilarious, such a cool kid
don’t cuss ✋😌
@@oliviagrace6914 It's the internet, Olivia.
Ikr lmao.
"Thats the fun part dad... They have no idea why they're there.
@@oliviagrace6914 people can fucking cuss whenever they god damn well please.
@@oliviagrace6914 and stop trying to force your religious beliefs down everybody's throat on TH-cam videos!!!
I'm happy for Bert. His daughter is cool as shit.
Both daughters and him are dope af
@@AnnabelNightwish his wife is hilarious as well
That whole family is cool and funny AF !!
Berts family is hilarious.
Shes gonna take over as a comedian when bert dies
Imagine saying 'No, I can't go swimming, Jason's visiting.'
😂
😂😂😂😂😂
"Wanna go to the lake?" "Can't bro, Jason's gonna be coming by the time I'm in the water"
the progressive period named Flo 😆😅😂
😂😂😂😂
Must be a friend of Dorothy
We used to say aunt flo was coming to visit lol
Mines called Kylo Red
Ruby, Scarlett, and Rose also work; Lord knows I've referred to it as a 'visit from Aunt Rose'
"Can you google how to shit in the toilet?" Genius.
Look up her Joe Rogan interview. It was amazing
What’s her name?
@@cameronturnquist55 You'd think they would put their names in the title or description.
don’t cuss ✋😌
@@oliviagrace6914 fuck off
"I feel like a shoe in the dryer" damn that hit home for real lol. I totally always feel like this. I have three sons under ten....... Sigh
Goddamn! My prayers are with you. 😂
My sister has 4 boys under 6! She's a saint 🙃
I have three sons just over ten. You have my prayers 😂
Same here. Also reminds me to finish laundry.
Me too. Three kids under 6. Twin boys 6 and a girl 4 I am the shoe and the kids are the dryer running circles around me 😩😩
Actually a period party isn't a bad idea. You get to eat cake, you have friends comforting you if you need it and you get to celebrate being a woman. Like we all know no girl wants or likes her period but it's part of being a woman and by not talking about it you swept an essential part of being yourself under the rug. Having you period is the only natural and non violent way to lose your blood yet people are more grossed out by it than by harming someone. We got to celebrate who we are
I dunno... The last thing I would have wanted as a ten year old girl, rocking back and forth on the floor of the bathroom in front of the toilet, crying and puking from the pain, would have been a party. I can't relate to stories about girls getting their period like if it was only bleeding, no big deal. My cramps were severe, and the lactic acid build-up from all those muscles cramping and spasming is no joke either.
@@jelatinosa mine aren't fun either. But yours sounds like you should visit a doctor. You might have a serious illness.
I just meant that we should take away the fear and shame of periods. In most cases it's nothing to be afraid of or ashamed about. I'm sorry your experience isn't good. Please take care of yourself. Period pain isn't how thing are. Cramps yeah. Pain no
@@jelatinosa I'm sorry yours was so painful. My period didn't get painful till much later in my life. But I wouldn't have wanted a party either because I was so sad when I got it...I cried
@@jelatinosa wow, I’m sorry you have to go through that- but also, have you thought about consulting a doctor about it? It actually sounds serious, and better safe than sorry. I don’t think periods should normally induce that kind of pain. Good luck to you anyways.
Yes! Stank and cramps.
Good times.
Isn't Bert Kreischer the dad you would never want to have but also want to have at the same time
He's uncle Jesse
He pretty much is
Lol. I got my period when the only parent I’ve had is my dad. He lost his shit
*finally someone who shares the pain*
OMG WHATS THAT LIKE????
Me too😂😂😂
@@anikasudhir4579 they legit break out into a sweat once you say you need pads or tampons, and my father has 4 daughters whose periods were literally a week apart... so it was a different experience for us all... he went from getting the wrong ones and getting screamed at by four bleeding teens to being the period protector😭😭
I got my period when my mom was on a trip and my dad was the only one home. My exact words were “no, not today!” Of all days to get it when my mom was out of town. My dad didn’t freak out though and we went to go get pads at the store. I’m just glad I got mine at home at not at school or something.
Mad respect if she really raised three sets 🙏
Do you know who she is?
@@anthonybrock846 someone said her name's ms pat!
Look up her joe Rogan interview
It's the period party for me. This dad is awesome and his daughter naming the cake Jason was hilarious. Those clueless boys are literally the icing on the cake! 😂👏🏾😂👏🏾😂👏🏾
Underrated comment!!
@@beautifulblackchild7343 thanks!
I love when people talk about having kids. I don’t want them and it’s so funny.
I can't imagine having a kid I believe in love not suffering
You're goddamn right.
I dont want kids until im at least 32ish and financially stable
I want some but only with gravy
But we can practice right?
Bert's entire period story made me cry I laughed so hard.
That whole special is pretty entertaining.
Seriously laughed his shirt off.
Why doesn’t he wear a shirt?
@@mikecole1664 he started doing it because he would sweat through them and then it became his own thing
@@psycotiks8696 Thanks.
I've said it once and I'll say it again, Bert's kids will be comedians/writers/entertainers. From what he's said Ila is friggin hilarious
Bert makes fun of his youngest daughter because she reminds him of himself so much 😂😂
“My daughter, named her period Jason, because she got it on Friday the 13” PERIODT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!👆🏽🤪🤪🤪literally 🤧💀
As someone named Jason. I don't know how to feel about that joke 🤣
Awww ok 😂
That was so great!
💀
Lol, just think of it as your name is associated with a perfectly healthy properly functioning human process without which you would not exist. 🌍✌🌎👍🌏💚
@@sanchisan6997 ahahahaha yesss ✌❤
Period party, period cakes, period names. holy shit america is a whole another world..
we enjoy celebrating the mundane and sometimes ridiculous
It's actually not common, and more recent
May as well have fun with it, I’m not even American lol 😂
I didn’t know ppl ever did so
Right shit all I do is lay in bed and cry, when my aunt Flo is visiting but more power to ya! Lmao
Bert's reaction to the red velvet cake is so Priceless spot-on perfect
Totally
Period party comedian slayed me .
I'm beginning to feel outdated
Bert kreischer
Bert kriescher! He has at least one Netflix special!
"With the babies it's hard to keep up with the house as before." The greatest understatement ever!
Now I’m going to throw a period party next time I get mine
Lol Any ideas for names yet?
@@Famiry_Guy_Ken imma name mine birtha
@@none3160 lol
I'll be needing a menopause party lol, hell...why not pre-menopause too? Gotta think as well as Isla did to make it fun lol
don't elaborate on invites, just call it a period party. when they ask what period is the theme, idk get creative and dodge that question
“How tf you got a iPad and you shit on yourself” 💀
don’t cuss ✋😌
@@oliviagrace6914 fuck off
I hope my future kid is as cool as Aila 😂 she lit
Yes 😂😂😂 I hope my baby is a girl. I'm due July 8th, I'm okay with a boy
Edit: but periods are really big, before my mom passed away she knew Protection Rituals that involve ones own period blood, an that's something I cannot teach a boy. Although there is ritual work with guys ummm stuff that makes a baby but I am female an was never taught those rituals
As my husband says about kids: 0/5 stars, do not recommend
don't be so harsh, 1/5. errr 1/10
LoL ahh come on..I have seen worse movies than that.
Smart man
God's crack baby keeper 😂😂😂 got me rolling! What an esteem position
“She probably thought she tore her twat!” Funniest thing ever.
The one about dad and his daughters period had me rollin on the floor.
Bert kreisher look him up on Netflix😂 he’s so funny!! Look up “how I joined the Russian mafia by accident” 😂😂
I was teased at my babysitters when not knowing the answer to "what's something every girl gets?" Who did I ask? My daddy. Almost drove the car into the ditch. God bless him 🙏
😂🤣
I am 21 about to be 22 this comin june and I never thought of namin my period. This is gonna be so fun and so confusing for my friends when I tell em Auntie Satan is coming to town!
Good luck :)
@@the_ducc Thank you
Mine is Barbara because I had a bad experience with a customer named Barbara(second Karen)ever since then,I hate bitches named Barbara.
@@IridescentNova That is a good reason also that is funny!
That's what I call an aunt I hate
The shirtless dude KILLED me😂😂😂
😂🤣YAZZ!
Bert is a legend.
Aila Kreischer is a goddamn legend 🙌
That period joke def didn’t go where I thought 😂
Why does the captions say “peeing on the wall” when he actually says “Pinot Noir” at the time stamp 4:24?
It’s not even like it’s an automatic caption, somebody ACTUALLY wrote that.
And misspelled “choking”...😆
AND WROTE “foreign language” every time Rob spoke Spanish 😂😂😂😂
And they wrote “okay” when Rob said “Qué” 😂
I totally turned on captions just to see this!
I’m so glad I’m not the only one seeing the crazy captions for once 😂 Bad captions make funny videos 10x funnier sometimes lol
(I always use captions cuz it’s easier, I have a processing disability)
I remember when I was growing up we didn't have period parties lol. (This was around 2010) I remember hearing about it later on, but we all thought that was a weird kinda disgusting/embarrassing joke 😂
Never heard of a period party till this video and im female sooo
As a kid, we don’t.
My mom talked about a period party (in the early 2010s) but didnt actually have one for me or any of my 2 female siblings. The thought embarrassed me then, but now I think it's a cool concept, if applied thoughtfully.
Lmfaoooo I can’t with the period party story: the Pinot Noir, the marinara sauce, the red outfit
I know the feeling oh so well. My son's voice was deeper than mine from he turned 17, i've been making jokes of him then my daughters as they entered earth.
Whenever I hear this story from Bert I can’t help but think how if my called my immigrant parents to tell them I got my period and get supplies for a party to celebrate, I would’ve gotten in so much trouble for calling from school for this. You’re not sick, dying, don’t call from school!
I love the dad, who went all in for his kids period party. That's amazing!
Rob Schneider is starting to look like Billy Crystal
So that’s who he reminded me of!
"Bitch you promised"!!! Sounds like something I've already said to my daughter lol
I uses to do the catching the baby thing pretty often, but I've never heard it described so well lol also did the kicking across the room thing.
I also used to push them over when they first started walking. Lol it was super easy.. just a little poke.
My oldest and my youngest loved but my middle child.. well, she is the middle child lol
Lol u sound like u typify and abuse ur middle child.
The second story makes me motivated to make a group chat with girls in my high school just to support each other about our periods 💀 I can imagine the chat going like this
A; Guys I think Mary's coming to town
C; Who?
B; you don't know who Mary is?
C; uh- no
B; yk....bloody mary
A; it's what I named my period
C; what
A; yeah you know since she gets a little messy.
B; 👀 🍿
C; 😳
A; ....anyone gotta tampon?
The potty training got me. That's my house rn!!! 😭😭😭
You got to love Bert and the lovely Mis Pat
You can really tell how fucking tired rob was at the beginning of that clip😭😂😂🖤
The period party part, I just- 😭💀
0:09 *wait your supposed to name it?*
(Edit: also why is he shirtless??)
He gets weird anxiety when on stage so it’s like a reverse “imagine them naked”
That's his thing. He does shirtless comedy, he's well known for that
Cause why the hell not, adds to the experience
I heard it was because somebody made a fat joke about him once so he kinda just embraced it and does all his comedy shirtless in contempt of it. He throws his shirt at the beginning of the show
Rob Schneider’s one daughter is Elle King, so that puts a whole new spin on the story!
BROOO You just ruined cake for me 😭
Kids do weird shit .. also weird shit does kids
Bruh he was about that Life off letting these kids come to an event that they don’t know about
Imagine the kids watching these specials one day 😭
4:51
I gotta hand it to the kid, that’s genius
The last one, Mrs. Pat, had me rolling lmaoo
Ms. Pat is so damn beautiful 🙌❤️
My man Brent Crystal
You mean Bruce?
@@mimigiggles4199 damn I forgot about that one 😂😂
Bruce Chrysler
Thought it was burnt crystal?
Dude he’s lost so much weight. Probably not a pound over 380 now.
my little sisters name is isla, it shocked me to hear him say it 😂
Seeing Tig happy is really amazing. She is transformed. I've always thought she was smart, and a good comedian, but her sadness and bitterness were so pervasive, I couldn't watch her work. If you have not ever seen it, try to find her imitation of a bicycle horn - it's impeccable.
I love Michelle Buteau SO MUCH!!! 😂😂👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
When she said ' how tf you work and ipad but you shit on yourself ' - it's true!!
"I feel like a shoe in a dryer." Bruuuhhhh I feel thiiiiis! 🤣🤣🤣
Watching this makes me not want to have children.
As a mom that didn't chose to have a kid and still ended up with a kid... Don't
@@MikaelaJoArroyo do you still love your kid though
@@denkikaminari5583 more than anything
Don't
but at the same time, they make your life meaningful.
I don't know if this counts as "Hell," Bert Kreischer's daughter sounds rad as fuck
Bert is raising savages
I wish I understood why people wanna have kids so much, no thanks.
100%
Some people are really good at it. Yes, they experience challenges, but they do it gracefully.
Got my first on a Friday the 13th. Sept of '85. We got no period parties, just Aquanet and neon.
WOW! Tig made me laugh for the first time ever. It's the End of Days.
TURN UP the volume on your end PLEASE thanks
Anyone else child-free by choice and watching for the schadenfreude 🙋🏻♀️😂
RIP Bernie Mac
🤗❤️💐
All the girls are NOT throwing those parties-
Thank you, we needed all the laughs in these perilous & unfavorable times
Much laughter is warranted and good for one's internal organs and good medicine, lol
#funnybones
My mom could probably have a whole comedy routine of how many times I have gotten hurt by something stupid-
1)I’ve been hit with a soccer ball right in the face (kicked by my dad)
2)I’ve had a softball roll up and hit my face (thrown by my mom)
3)I’ve slipped in the living room for no reason
4)I’ve had a volleyball fling to my face and I bled (by a kid in my class)
5) I tried to do a high kick and I skipped and fell
6) I’ve ran into a doorknob
7) and currently, I messed up the bottom of my foot by running barefooted on the road to catch my running dog-
I was hit by a beer truck in Kindergarten...after bullying my car pool classmates not to rat me out for sneaking across the road to shortcut to my house.
as a dad, the first time I heard the period party bit, I took it and ran with it. My daughter had never heard of it but loved the idea. She named hers: Code red after her favorite kind of Mt dew
Naming a period... period party... what???
I've been having mine for 8 years and this is the first I've heard of it! Could someone explain? XD
Nevermind, finished the part and I respect the hustle.
THE MACHINE!!!
The baby joke sounds like Anthony jesylnick dropping babies
I was thinking the same.
Oh. I remember Jesylnick he was funny.
My Grandmother and I used to call my period "my aunt from abroad" so I would just say: "I can't go swimming today because my aunt from abroad is visiting." Just had a daughter and she is the greatest thing that ever happened to me-I can't wait to find out what she calls hers.
Lmfaooo the 'I tore my 'twat' 'blew out my coach's took me out 😂😂😂
That size 6 was so on point.
Who is 5:15 comedian? She's fawking hilarious.
Good to see Rob on stage! Love seeing him!
Now that I’ve seen this... I prefer my dad’s approach of NEVER acknowledging my parts, or life stages, or their functions in ANY WAY! than a dad ever talking about my twat in public.
When Bert Keirscher said Aila I freaked the fuck out cause that’s my name 😂
"We don't tell them why they're there" lmaoooooooo girlllll
I need me some more Ms. Pat XD!!
I feel like a shoe caught in a dryer 🤣🤣🤣
“How tf you can work an ipad and you shit on yourself” bruh that was so funny, i’ve never thought about that
Wow did not laugh this hard in a long time.
Never had a period party and I will for all the months and years missed
Look at the fun and laughs I cheated myself out of, to pay attention to the monthly pains and body aches afflicted me
I _love_ how they nuke the volume on these clips.
The crack lady story 🤣😂🤣😂
I'm dieing I haven't laughed this hard in months!!
"That's the beauty of it dad, we dont tell them why they're there ."
Lmao the catching the baby was gold