I’m half Iranian on my dads side and for my birthday my grandpa bought my sisters ice cream and told me my gift was watching their joy. Tells you pretty much all you need not know.
Dude's other half wasn't Iranian; that's probably why. Either way, the parental dysfunctional bipolarized spectrum sort of went into itself, met in the middle, neutralized itself at dead center, and left the original poles of dysfunction remaining at the starting gate as if nothing ever really happened; so now it's a net-zero gain of absolutely nothing, and what this situational meaning is about to become now is one revolving solely and uniquely around how the home was built upon the Iranian experience only, apparently due to the fact that the mom thereof was anything but. And this, boys and girls, is why I continue to live alone to this day. 21 more years of this Never-Ending-Ted-Striker-Ritual-Seppuku-Warranting, and my framed commissioned act of murder-suicide at the age of 71 will have become effectively decriminalized some 17 years prior, during the Year of the Cataclysmic Death of the American Republic - 2025: Holy Fucking Shit, It's Old Faithful, Everybody; She's Changing From "Sleep" To "Blow"! There goes the neighborhood, And the entire continent of North America; All because of a Motherland-Fucking Caldera. I suppose that we're all going to be scared shitless When we all see "That's Armageddon" On that day, I can tell you. Who knew? Not Uncle Joe, apparently. Biden, that is. Not Stalin. Just FYI.
@@teddymeister95 I'm half black and italian what wouldn't I know about being brown. Why are people so sensitive if you find his comedy funny good for you I personally just don't.
I used to have this Indian friend when I was in 6th grade and he was born and raised in India. I remember on his birthday he said that every time there is someone's birthday they wrestle to hit the birthday boy/girls, so yeah If anyone thought he was lying it is very true.
@@aviv6793 they either slap your bum or back sometimes face depending on the ppl themselves. We used to hit our class monitor aka popular kid back in 7/8th grade and she was so annoyed aha
I don't have any insane stories about my dad as he is a pure Dad Joke Dad, but *his* dad was the manager of the Chase Manhattan bank that got robbed in 1972. That robbery was later adapted into an Al Pacino movie: "Dog Day Afternoon."
I loved home depot (not exactly called that at the time but these days big business has taken over), but my father never took me, or paid for any of that. the possibilities for what I could engineer with all the stuff there was just so great. Lot of great creations that I bargained my way to in those stores, lot of time in my own backyard workshop and actual workshops later on once I was older. Decades later an adult me would take the tools back up and let the engineer out when I was building my prized car and fixing up my firebird and superbird. Not everyone is the same.
I had an Indian friend in high school. Our math book had the answer sheet at the back of the book. My Indian friend’s dad cut out the answer sheets out of his books. 😮told him there won’t be no cheating! Your friends and teachers are fools. 😂😂😂😂
@@abhignavijjapurapu209 In his show "one fits all" he talked about his dad and how he hasn't seen him for 30 years and the dad finally showed up at one of the shows
Yeah, I have brown parents and the last time they remembered my birthday was when I was like 12, now they don't even remember my age or the year I was born let alone birthday xD
"baggage handler is, when you take a baggage and you punt it into the plane" ah yes that's how my friends 18" luggage broke into three with a hole in the corner.
Don't feel bad, Sarah. I too was a literary 'late bloomer', it was what made me so good at image analysis. "Look! I found the missiles!" Me: Where? "There! See? Right there!" Me: ...those are fence posts. How - did you graduate M.I.T?
10:10 this is probably a huge flex, but I learned to read at 1 1/2 because I was a younger sibling and my sister was dead-set on teaching me shit. Also, I went to a place called Little People’s College, which was basically a daycare that taught little bitches shit they didn’t need to know for years.
@@valerytrinidad7438 I have a degree in elementary education. The ability to read is a developmental ability. For some children, that developmental ability doesn’t kick in until the age of 7 and that’s okay. We all develop at our own pace. It doesn’t make you unintelligent.
I'm thinking that the upright position thing is really about getting tidy for the cleaners and the next round of people. Obviously the airlines have learned that the threat of death works better than please put the seats up.
it’s actually for safety, the landing is one of the most dangerous moments on board and if it doesn’t go well you’re less likely of getting injured in the upright position of the chair (you have to do the passenger safety position for crashing) sorry, english isn’t my first language but my mom is a flight attendant
Dad jokes always hittin wen done well dey kilt it respect their comedic genius gangsta no cap lol stay safe remember Kobe n gigi God bless BLM checkout The Main Squeeze🙏
"Do you realize you get 25% for just signing your name correctly? WHAT F***ING NAME DID YOU PUT???"
I died at that lmfaoooo
same
putt*
"After I die... die as many times as you want"🤣🤣😂
This is an Asian classic.
@@ghostbravo7127 ik 😩😩
"door handle for the bathroom" daaaaaaaaaaaaamn😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
the exact same thing happened on my 8th birthday too😭😭
Happened to my sister. She got new curtains for her birthday, when she was like 8.
I’m half Iranian on my dads side and for my birthday my grandpa bought my sisters ice cream and told me my gift was watching their joy. Tells you pretty much all you need not know.
Jesus christ seriously? Did you atleast get any ice cream too ?
im 100% iranian and sry my guy but i got all i want at age 14 i even have a 162/202 bed and a mini fridge
Dude's other half wasn't Iranian; that's probably why. Either way, the parental dysfunctional bipolarized spectrum sort of went into itself, met in the middle, neutralized itself at dead center, and left the original poles of dysfunction remaining at the starting gate as if nothing ever really happened; so now it's a net-zero gain of absolutely nothing, and what this situational meaning is about to become now is one revolving solely and uniquely around how the home was built upon the Iranian experience only, apparently due to the fact that the mom thereof was anything but.
And this, boys and girls, is why I continue to live alone to this day.
21 more years of this Never-Ending-Ted-Striker-Ritual-Seppuku-Warranting, and my framed commissioned act of murder-suicide at the age of 71 will have become effectively decriminalized some 17 years prior, during the Year of the Cataclysmic Death of the American Republic - 2025: Holy Fucking Shit, It's Old Faithful, Everybody; She's Changing From "Sleep" To "Blow"!
There goes the neighborhood,
And the entire continent of North America;
All because of a Motherland-Fucking Caldera.
I suppose that we're all going to be scared shitless
When we all see
"That's Armageddon"
On that day, I can tell you.
Who knew?
Not Uncle Joe, apparently.
Biden, that is.
Not Stalin.
Just FYI.
Wait what
Run away
"Son, just try and get 50" 🤣🤣🤣😭
I love Hasan Minaj but that "America was great" line in the 9th minute is the best!!!
He's just not funny at all
Minhaj*
@@KonohazFinest if you are not brown or don’t know the brown immigrant experience in the west maybe you won’t relate idk 🤷🏽♂️
@@teddymeister95 I'm half black and italian what wouldn't I know about being brown. Why are people so sensitive if you find his comedy funny good for you I personally just don't.
@@KonohazFinest then don’t share your opinion, no need to go to the comments just to tell us he’s not good, no one wants to know
Hassan is just my favorite. You don’t understand. I LOVE THAT MAN
@@Naveen-tq7cg WAIT WHAT-
Silverman with " when America was great". Love the way her brain works on so many levels.
Man russel's dad deserve an award. 🏒⛳🏆
Both of them are awards for each other
Edit: deserves
Doesnt he!
I used to have this Indian friend when I was in 6th grade and he was born and raised in India. I remember on his birthday he said that every time there is someone's birthday they wrestle to hit the birthday boy/girls, so yeah If anyone thought he was lying it is very true.
Yep birthday bombs
@@oplog5299 oh yeah I got they were called b-day bombs
@@aviv6793 the older you are the more you get
@@aviv6793 they either slap your bum or back sometimes face depending on the ppl themselves. We used to hit our class monitor aka popular kid back in 7/8th grade and she was so annoyed aha
No, it is not true for everyone, but your friends laughing at you being scolded, is true
'Happy birthday, no more birthdays. Go be president." HAD ME CACKLING
“It meant ‘Letter Home.’ But thank god he didn’t ask, that would have been so embarrassing.” 😆
What does it mean ?
@@RudrakshaChandel i wonder.
@@RudrakshaChandel it's not embarrassing so she's exaggerating it "thank god he didn't ask"
Russell's dad is hilarious 😅😆 no no son focus that would never happen!
Sarah Silverman is so raw and cute at the same time 😍
I-
"what fucking name did you put?!" I love russell peters' impression of his father.
The hard or loose story made me laugh so hard I think my neighbours will call the police 🤣🤣
I don't have any insane stories about my dad as he is a pure Dad Joke Dad, but *his* dad was the manager of the Chase Manhattan bank that got robbed in 1972. That robbery was later adapted into an Al Pacino movie: "Dog Day Afternoon."
Wow! Now you can tell your kids that story.
Now I've gotta pull up an app and rewatch Dog Day Afternoon, 😆
2:41 f😂cking killed meee ahhh hahh XD
"son, you hit a new low"
i lost.
😂 I see Hassan I just floor myself in advance
The way I instinctually knew that Home Depot was on the right
I love Sarah’s vulnerability. That’s the shit that helps heal communities 👏
Damn, the first joke was soo good, but the title kind of spoiled it
Not me having read the title and still not knowing he was talking abt his parents until he said
12:38 What does L/H actually mean? (I listened to the end. Letter home - if they had send a letter to their parents at home.)
I don’t think she’s going to respond to you.
Thanks
Someone else commented it means "loose/hard"
"Even the crying baby knows this guy is an asshole...." LOL
why dads take there kids to home depot and then not expect them to get bored is beyond me home depot is hell for kids
I loved home depot (not exactly called that at the time but these days big business has taken over), but my father never took me, or paid for any of that. the possibilities for what I could engineer with all the stuff there was just so great. Lot of great creations that I bargained my way to in those stores, lot of time in my own backyard workshop and actual workshops later on once I was older. Decades later an adult me would take the tools back up and let the engineer out when I was building my prized car and fixing up my firebird and superbird. Not everyone is the same.
Sarah Silverman gives me Gina from b99 vibes
Yesss haha I laughed my ass off
I have no stories about my dad he is a sincere, non-weird, regular man
Lucky you
Must be nice
So your mom was the weird one
My dad is not as weird but rarely ever speaks. He just doesn't like talking to anyone, he barely speaks to us.
"My dad's white"
The Red Riding Hood joke kills me everytime
"Bazigally" literally every indian teacher I have
This humored me from my period cramps, thank you so much 😂 ❤
Hey if he was at a daycare the l/h would have ment loose or hard I worked at a day care and we had to track the kids bowel movements
Maaaaan this was toooooo funny
I would watch several movies about Sarah Silverman's dad at camp.
I had an Indian friend in high school. Our math book had the answer sheet at the back of the book. My Indian friend’s dad cut out the answer sheets out of his books. 😮told him there won’t be no cheating! Your friends and teachers are fools. 😂😂😂😂
So proud of all of you. Happy New Year!!! Thanks for everything!!!!
Hilarious 🤣
I just maid a video on why being lazy is a good thing. Maybe you should check it out. 🤔
You forgot abou Gabriel Iglesias how dare you.
@@abhignavijjapurapu209 In his show "one fits all" he talked about his dad and how he hasn't seen him for 30 years and the dad finally showed up at one of the shows
@@reubenrozeyt5716 Yeah, but that story has a VERY different vibe. Maybe just do the "his picture is on the hot sauce bottle" and leave it at that.
Yeah, I have brown parents and the last time they remembered my birthday was when I was like 12, now they don't even remember my age or the year I was born let alone birthday xD
It elevates the mind
I really want to know why the Spelling Bee kid's parents behaved like that!?
"baggage handler is, when you take a baggage and you punt it into the plane" ah yes that's how my friends 18" luggage broke into three with a hole in the corner.
I didn’t know that JP was a standup comedian! Lol... I’ll have to check out more of his stuff.
Who is JP?
@@kanedaku it was a character Whitehall played in the show Fresh Meet.
"He saw my vision board." 😂
This is Punchy Kramer... 😂😂😂
That was such good story 😂
The Indian guy: I got 13% for my final grade
Me: welcome to the squad
Don't feel bad, Sarah. I too was a literary 'late bloomer', it was what made me so good at image analysis.
"Look! I found the missiles!"
Me: Where?
"There! See? Right there!"
Me: ...those are fence posts.
How - did you graduate M.I.T?
Russel Peters' belt is nice!
Focus, focus 🤣🤣🤣
Arden mall still littt
10:10 this is probably a huge flex, but I learned to read at 1 1/2 because I was a younger sibling and my sister was dead-set on teaching me shit. Also, I went to a place called Little People’s College, which was basically a daycare that taught little bitches shit they didn’t need to know for years.
I love you Sarah Silverman. 💙
8:36 what a great dad
Only here for Russell
8:47 Sarah Silverman ‼️😎
I didn't know Silverman was so dam funny 😂😂
She can be reallly funny at times .
7 is an acceptable age to learn to read. It doesn’t mean you’re unintelligent.
It just means their parents are lol
First of no. Not really and not funny(I kinda did laugh though) but yeah
@@valerytrinidad7438 I have a degree in elementary education. The ability to read is a developmental ability. For some children, that developmental ability doesn’t kick in until the age of 7 and that’s okay. We all develop at our own pace. It doesn’t make you unintelligent.
You must be talking about my Grandpa, he snored so loud for a whole flight, that when it landed, they cheered, because he woke up
I watched this video without headphones and the intro got me in trouble
Dude how is Russell Peters so successful? I've never seen a bit of his that evoked even a giggle out of me...
He didnt need to make u laugh in order to be successful...just a million other people 😆.
Wait what? You need 50% to pass?
I needed 60%! :O
Oh my land ,😂😂😂
Sarah Silverman has barely aged in the past 20 years
Damn 18 comments only?! I came here way too early that I usually do
I had all those joke books.
The intro sounds like phub intro at the beginning
Baggage handler 🤭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍👍
I'm thinking that the upright position thing is really about getting tidy for the cleaners and the next round of people.
Obviously the airlines have learned that the threat of death works better than please put the seats up.
it’s actually for safety, the landing is one of the most dangerous moments on board and if it doesn’t go well you’re less likely of getting injured in the upright position of the chair (you have to do the passenger safety position for crashing)
sorry, english isn’t my first language but my mom is a flight attendant
Starbucks, Wifi and three ways? sounds like one hell of a bitrhday!
😅🤣😂😂😂 home depoooo.
You can joke about baggage handlers but the lack of them is the reason Europe’s air travel system is fucked up rn
Sarah has to be one of the all time funniest as well as sexiest women alive!
Hassan Minhaj : he knew he won before the confetti
When u tell ur Asian parents u want to do art and design at gcse.
Knew I was gonna come out of it crying. My hypothesis was correct. Asian parents tell you that you are not creative and you are an academic.
Guest spot!
I just realized Hassan kind of took that joke about toys r us and Home Depot from Donald Glover Special
Funny Stuff 🤣🤣🤣
Representing #sacramento
7:28 “go be president” 💀
HOW IS JOHN MULANEYS ONE BLACK COFFEE NOT A PART OF THIS??
what does L/H mean?
Letter Home. I would assume it's like an opportunity for them to write something for their parents
@@NVDAbets oh
She says at 13:53 that it meant letter home
@@NVDAbets This makes it more hilarious!
America was great!!!!!!! Where did they find these people there hilarious
That guy in Vermont was Bernie Sanders :P
First guy needs to keep his day job
Jack Whitehall ? My god he's terrible, but is very popular for some reason.
I was thinking the exact same thing lol
I had a straight face the whole time.
4:41 He's not wrong tho
What fucking name did you put?!! 😂😂😂😂
So you can pick out the door handle for the bathroom that's sad bro poor Hassan i feel like that would be the breaking point of your kid
good ol' immigrant parents
It wasn't a celebration without someone acting up and then getting their azz handed to them. Good times. 😶
OMFG 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
HAHAHAHAHAHA the spelling be one
American girls haven’t heard anything other than the accent 😂😂😂😂
Lol
Dad jokes always hittin wen done well dey kilt it respect their comedic genius gangsta no cap lol stay safe remember Kobe n gigi God bless BLM checkout The Main Squeeze🙏
Dude your language is on another level. It's like barely english but still understandable. Have a good one dude. ✌️
@@nathanc6645 I appreciate it pimpin stay safe out here
Third!!!!! Thats a First!!!
47th!!!! That's a Bingo!!!
3:11 maybe he meant don't dye 🤷🤷
Love Sarah Silverman.
Hassan, your beard is crooked!
the first comedians parents are a lot like mine my mom with roast the *frick* out of my dad for the pure fun of it and say it oh so seriously