All Parents Should See This | Michael McIntyre Stand Up Comedy

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ธ.ค. 2024

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  • @calamusgladiofortior2814
    @calamusgladiofortior2814 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2744

    “You never love your children more than when they are unconscious, but still breathing.”
    So true :)

    • @calamusgladiofortior2814
      @calamusgladiofortior2814 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Therese Davis I’m so sorry for your loss. My daughter drives me mad somedays, but I can’t imagine losing her like that.

    • @LewisCoxall1
      @LewisCoxall1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      😂

    • @horion7271
      @horion7271 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      i like how he used unconscious rather than sleeping

    • @Robyamdam
      @Robyamdam 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      *Chris Benoit enters the room*

    • @catmoore2443
      @catmoore2443 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yep 😂

  • @yesterdayitrained
    @yesterdayitrained 3 ปีที่แล้ว +416

    I love his high-pitched, beyond frustrated, angry voice. It conveys that feeling exactly. The voice of someone who is ALMOST over the edge… trying desperately to hang on.

  • @abcdefuuu
    @abcdefuuu 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +20

    What a brilliant comedian Michael is. Can’t believe I’ve only just stumbled upon him recently.. have started binge watching all his videos since. Straight up simple but funny, relatable humor without anything too suggestive or overly crude or vulgar. A breath of fresh air to comedy.

  • @adamhofman4933
    @adamhofman4933 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1138

    The funny thing about this, is it doesn’t matter how much money you have, what race, religion or ethnicity you are, everyone with kids can relate!

    • @_Daio_
      @_Daio_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Adam Hofman
      , It's a lot easier if you're a multi-millionaire.

    • @jessidiary4884
      @jessidiary4884 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @eleven why wouldn't they be able to relate? if u are they one raiding ur kid then u can relate, its not their kids are robots, they're human too

    • @ms.zainab2055
      @ms.zainab2055 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@jessidiary4884 they wouldn't be able to relate because it's not them who is battling the kids, it will be all the nannies and maids

    • @adamhofman4933
      @adamhofman4933 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Ms. Zainab Michael McIntyres net worth is $80 million, and he obviously relates... the stupidly rich probably wouldn’t though!

    • @jessidiary4884
      @jessidiary4884 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@adamhofman4933 unless they aren't raising their own children y wouldn't they relate?

  • @Mad-RCandHOBBY
    @Mad-RCandHOBBY 4 ปีที่แล้ว +608

    "where's Ozzy?" - "He's by the front door" 😂👍

    • @judekay7819
      @judekay7819 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      He's never been there in his life

    • @leonbanks5728
      @leonbanks5728 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      It’s 2 in the morning!!!!

    • @bethb8276
      @bethb8276 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

      My thought was he must be dreaming if Ozzy was ready by the door! 😂

    • @HelenaRasmussen-f5s
      @HelenaRasmussen-f5s 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      😂😂😂😂😂

  • @phoenixash8285
    @phoenixash8285 4 ปีที่แล้ว +755

    I had three kids within 4 years and have lived every single one of his jokes/true life stories! He and the audience are laughing because of how true and universal those events are!! TY 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😂😂😂😂😂

    • @BothHands1
      @BothHands1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      getting your sleep deprivation all in at once so in 18 years, you can make up the sleep, huh? 😂
      around 14, it's the opposite, you can't get them out of bed, but in that short time span, the youngest will be 14 just 18 years after the first born.

    • @jennybeam7226
      @jennybeam7226 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I have 2 that are 12mo apart as well as a 3rd so I can relate😂.. Hang in there, Mama. You're doing a great job!💪❤

    • @matildatochhawng2343
      @matildatochhawng2343 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I have 4 kids within a span lo 2 and half years. Last kids being twins 😀

    • @matildatochhawng2343
      @matildatochhawng2343 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      And my husband passed away because of stroke when the youngest were 2 years 3 months. I so relate to all these jokes 😂

    • @rachellewellyn9062
      @rachellewellyn9062 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same .. same 😂

  • @MightyRob1
    @MightyRob1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +885

    Being a comedian is basically telling the truth about everything to groups of people.

    • @ittakesallkinds809
      @ittakesallkinds809 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      And making those people break down in laughter instead of tears. Michael's a master.

    • @ninaelsbethgustavsen2131
      @ninaelsbethgustavsen2131 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      ...while flapping your arms. Making funny noises and faces.
      Adults. Kids. Even babies love that.... 🤣

    • @gardenjoy5223
      @gardenjoy5223 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ittakesallkinds809 Good one! You broke it down to the essential part.

    • @seg6629
      @seg6629 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      absolutely 💯

    • @bethb8276
      @bethb8276 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

      That's why it's funny, because everyone can relate, we see ourselves in it!

  • @sarahfish2307
    @sarahfish2307 หลายเดือนก่อน +59

    Oh man. This all is so true. Mom of 5, homeschool every single one of them. This is my daily life. I was crying laughing so hard. The thing is though, that as hard as every single one of those moments and battles is and the fact that some days, they don’t end….. nothing compares to having a little one wrap their arms around you and say, “Love you Mama”and kiss you with their sweet slobbery kisses. I wouldn’t trade a single second of any of it. I’m so beyond thankful for every single one of them and pray to God that I get to have more.
    Btw…whose poo is this??? 😂😂😂😂oh my word. I laughed so hard.

    • @coloraturaMusic
      @coloraturaMusic 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      My first born is 7 months and even though I love him to death, I don't know how I can manage to have more. It's so much work and I'm literally exhausted. Haven't slept one single night in 7 months and counting... how can I do that a second time?!
      You're incredible for having 5. I can't imagine it, I just can't. You just basically stop sleeping for the rest of your life but still being expected to do the hardest job in the world...

    • @HelenaRasmussen-f5s
      @HelenaRasmussen-f5s 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Lol❤❤❤❤

    • @HelenaRasmussen-f5s
      @HelenaRasmussen-f5s 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      aturaMusic sending you lots of prayers!!!❤❤❤❤❤

  • @maryherring4261
    @maryherring4261 2 ปีที่แล้ว +346

    Can we stop laughing long enough to appreciate how intelligent Michael McIntyre is to keep up these rapid fire jokes in his monologs? Love this man!

    • @margueritebadji1332
      @margueritebadji1332 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      😂sure! Good Luck with that! 😂
      I love his humor.
      He is actually funny ❤

    • @Jopan471
      @Jopan471 8 วันที่ผ่านมา

      No shan’t !

    • @HelenaRasmussen-f5s
      @HelenaRasmussen-f5s 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      He is truly a treasure of reality ❤❤❤❤😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @necymamaril3735
    @necymamaril3735 4 ปีที่แล้ว +690

    I can’t get tired of Michael. He’s the one that get me through this chaotic world of American politics! So instead of watching news or American humor, I’m thankful that I found Michael McIntyre ‘s comedy and since then, I watch him over and over and still laugh every time. Thank you so much Michael McIntyre!

    • @neisham7478
      @neisham7478 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      so so true

    • @louiseannatfreeyourspirit
      @louiseannatfreeyourspirit 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Necy Mamaril great choice for mental health 👍🏻 well done. ☺️

    • @witness2theinsanity757
      @witness2theinsanity757 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Necy Mamaril I also find comfort in his humour, so much so, I can fall asleep to him like a lullaby 😴

    • @BothHands1
      @BothHands1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      same here lol

    • @liam-ti4tg
      @liam-ti4tg 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      We do love England

  • @fourlittlebirds6166
    @fourlittlebirds6166 2 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    The zipper🤣🤣🤣 “you pause thinking about your free life. “

    • @vickigonya9432
      @vickigonya9432 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Right in the middle of trying to zipper a coat--- the parent has to pee. Urgently!!!❤😂😂😂

  • @zakaria4988
    @zakaria4988 4 ปีที่แล้ว +685

    14 years for your parents to beg you to go to sleep and after they beg you to wake up!

  • @DeadlyLazer
    @DeadlyLazer 3 ปีที่แล้ว +409

    Michael is gonna thank Ozzie and Lucas one day for providing him with so much stand up material

    • @CLiffersBoss
      @CLiffersBoss 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I hope ozzie and lucas get royalties from this

  • @naadiacloete676
    @naadiacloete676 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    When I listen to Michael, I sometimes choke with laughter! He is most definitely one of the greatest comedians the world has ever seen!!

    • @HelenaRasmussen-f5s
      @HelenaRasmussen-f5s 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Absolutely 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Joy_joyful
      @Joy_joyful 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I agree .. becuz in choking on laughter for the first time in my life right now hahah. Hes so obviously the BEst .

  • @Longshanks1690
    @Longshanks1690 4 ปีที่แล้ว +436

    The utter contempt he has for people without kids is what makes this so great every time. 😂😂😂

    • @LadyVoldemort
      @LadyVoldemort 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      *FREEDOOOOOMMM!!!* 🙆‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

    • @pinstripesuitandheels
      @pinstripesuitandheels 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      You call it contempt, but I call it envy. 😉

    • @LadyVoldemort
      @LadyVoldemort 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      @@pinstripesuitandheels
      I'm 100% agree with you. 🤣 My friends (especially the ones with 3 children or more) often hid their jealousy by "pitying" my "childless lonely life". Some of them don't understand that some people can be "alone without being lonely". 🤣 It is the ultimate freedom indeed.

    • @dannygeebee
      @dannygeebee ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@pinstripesuitandheelsso delusional 😂

    • @carmenroxanabarsan6240
      @carmenroxanabarsan6240 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@LadyVoldemortthey will never understand.

  • @mandy5313
    @mandy5313 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2407

    I read my daughter a bedtime story when she was 5 and the little bugger said “Can you read it with more expression next time please”. I just said no and walked out with my jaw on the floor😂😂

    • @thephoenix756
      @thephoenix756 4 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      Love it!🤣

    • @melanytodd2929
      @melanytodd2929 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Mandy 😂😂😂😂😂❣

    • @thewitchsfamiliar
      @thewitchsfamiliar 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Oh my gods 🤣🤣

    • @Kas_Styles
      @Kas_Styles 4 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      As someone with a mom that has a monotone voice, I can understand the kids thought process.
      She was probably asking that because her school teachers read stories while still being expressive. (At least thats what I was thinking when I was yonger.)
      Not only that, but tone of voice is a very important thing in human communication.
      Its important that they learn what each one means.
      Human communication is mostly (about 70%) body language, about 20% tone of voice and about 10% what we say.
      You can Google it if you dont believe me.
      This is an important lesson to learn because it will help with making friends (emthay/Sympathy), good conversation and it will also help with problem solving when she gets older.
      Not to mention, I would also bring up active listening to the kid as well because that will also help with making friends and it will help you too.
      That is another good lesson that everyone should learn. How to ask good questions.
      (The who, what, when, where and how.)

    • @mandy5313
      @mandy5313 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Kas S Please go away

  • @brookeventura1309
    @brookeventura1309 4 ปีที่แล้ว +160

    “You have to REMIND them how it works CLOSE YOUR EYES AND GO. TO SLEEP.” 🤣🤣🤣

    • @JennsCorner777
      @JennsCorner777 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Lay down, put your head on the pillow, put the blanket over you, relax, no it's not time to eat, no more water, no talking just try to relax...etc. etc. Lol

    • @smeerashah5104
      @smeerashah5104 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wth me every night, close your eyes

  • @amnigma2342
    @amnigma2342 4 ปีที่แล้ว +782

    He wasn't doing a comedy sketch. He was ranting. 😂😂😂

    • @rebeccaleadbeater8210
      @rebeccaleadbeater8210 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Your not even funny he is.

    • @Poemi10304
      @Poemi10304 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      So relatable! 😂

    • @gardenjoy5223
      @gardenjoy5223 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      In the most comical way possible... :)

    • @kathyfugere6085
      @kathyfugere6085 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yet comedian all base their acts on real life .Take Fluffy from Mexico

    • @KAM66300
      @KAM66300 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Maybe, but with pizazz, facts and his own particular style.

  • @jeremytoms5163
    @jeremytoms5163 4 ปีที่แล้ว +241

    It's when you're singing along to the children's CD and suddenly realise that the kids are at school/nursery etc and you won't be seeing them for another couple of hours . Or, you've laid down with them to get them be quiet and go to sleep and you end up falling asleep on their bed. Best I had was my wife waking me up and my child going shuuush, dad's asleep !

    • @graceygrumble
      @graceygrumble 4 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Or, sitting on a train when it goes past a field of horses and you automatically say "Oooh, look at the horses!", when you're alone... Except for the dozen or so people surrounding you, who now think you're a simpleton.

    • @biankaswanepoel7833
      @biankaswanepoel7833 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@graceygrumble 😂

    • @JennsCorner777
      @JennsCorner777 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Or my favorite always having to refer to yourself in third person. Mommy, Daddy...is tired, needs to clean etc.

    • @yesterdayitrained
      @yesterdayitrained 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @Suitified1
      @Suitified1 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @DreamBelief
    @DreamBelief 4 ปีที่แล้ว +234

    I am so glad that we are slowly breaking down the taboo that you can't say anything negative about having children. It's such a harmful taboo. I have autism and other disabilities, so for me having children will be more difficult than most, but everyone keeps just brushing that away and claiming it won't be hard at all. That's putting both future parents and future children at risk, because people are getting into the situation not realising the reality, and then potentially regretting it, or finding they are wholly incapable. Even besides that fact, it's damn tough. We constantly talk about how important it is to reach out and talk to others about tough things in our lives, but when it comes to parenthood if you try to you are too often labelled an awful parent (which is completely illogical as seeking help and talking about it makes you a GOOD parent)

    • @jennybeam7226
      @jennybeam7226 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Our generation certainly has more support than our Moms/parents had.. Good luck with parenting. It IS hard but worth it & there's no shame in talking about the hard stuff.. God designed us 2 lean on Him & each other!❤

    • @indeeditiscirro
      @indeeditiscirro 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Noone wants to be cursed with bad disabled genes. And I'm saying this as another autistic

    • @skyejacques
      @skyejacques 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      There are salient points you mention definitely. I feel one can make a decision themselves if they offer to care for nephews or nieces or friends children.
      Everyone is very different and depends on the childhood they themselves have had.
      I have some disabilities and all my energy has been in trying to recover. I decided a long time ago that rearing children would distract me from what I need to do in my own life, and also I wouldn't make even an okay parent, but the opposite due to childhood traums. So I am at peace and thankfully I seem to have excess in masculine energy in my brain, so I don't even have that dreaded biological clock myth thing going on for me.
      If you live in the UK, you will find there are a lot of parenting courses now available to adults who have children (check your local children's centre), and baby massage courses which are fundamental for essential bonding and developing a healthy attachment style.
      Having kids is very challenging. It just is. It's a human being you have to raise for 18 years, whilst also going through your own life experiences.
      I hope you're able to make the correct decisions for yourself to lead a fulfilling life 😌🙂 because this planet needs happy, well adjusted, self loving, conscious and self actualised human beings in order to shift the trajectory of human history 🥳

    • @rawyld
      @rawyld 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I have autism plus anxiety and I don't want children because of the kids screams, not having the patience and the political correctness gone crazy. And I don't want want kids with the same autism that I have. Not being rude, but I don't want and I wouldn't be able to cope. I don't how my mother with autism deals with all 4 girls with Autism? She is amazing.

    • @annetnedelec1313
      @annetnedelec1313 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Totallly agree with you! For me happiness can come from many things, the ulimate thing is self achievement. That's justvwhat I think

  • @pryncessyanni
    @pryncessyanni 6 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    I've never heard anyone capture the EXACT nuances of raising children on a daily basis. Everything is literally Spot On!!! Beyond happy I discovered Michael McIntyre today. Also, enjoy every chaotic moment while you can...they grow so damn fast!

  • @bamitslori9750
    @bamitslori9750 4 ปีที่แล้ว +613

    “You have no idea what it’s like!” Hear the cheering from the childless couples? They are well aware and super happy

    • @MsDrientje
      @MsDrientje 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Exactly! Conscious not choosing for children is very underrated. So much time for me left. XD

    • @baobhansith5522
      @baobhansith5522 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Jeez it's part of the act🤦......and no you don't know what it's like no matter how much you think you do🤣

    • @cosmic4795
      @cosmic4795 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@MsDrientje selfish

    • @cosmic4795
      @cosmic4795 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@sarahbridges-q6x and so what ? Get over yourself... With that attitude, I hope you never breed

    • @cosmic4795
      @cosmic4795 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@erinschweikart3147 No. You. Don't. Hope that helps. 👍

  • @ffreshfields5211
    @ffreshfields5211 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    I was a total nerd small child, who would - for sheer fun - tidy their own bedroom every day, line up their teddies by size, line up their shoes in the same corner of the room, choose and lay out their outfits for the next morning, make their own bed, and make presents for the adults by hand for Christmas and holidays, along with prepared comedy skits. I also wrote little poems and stories in my notebook at my small desk in my bedroom, and daily to-do lists. My mother said I was the easiest child a mother could wish for who didn't need telling things and who played peacefully by herself. Everything seems the other way around for me lol. As an adult I struggle so much more with getting through my daily things, probably because my family members were a nightmare I can not unsee, but never as a child. I was content with little things and looked after everything routinely

  • @lea-rw5cb
    @lea-rw5cb 4 ปีที่แล้ว +153

    It's right leaving the house with kids is like a military mission just getting them dressed 😂🤣😂🤣😂

    • @feriaparker
      @feriaparker 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Amen to that lol

  • @debbieexcell5088
    @debbieexcell5088 3 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    "You never love ur children more than when they're unconscious but alive." So true 😂

  • @constancelau2347
    @constancelau2347 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    As a preschool teacher with a class of 2-3 year olds I find the putting them to bed one so relatable. The telling them to "Close Your Eyes and Go To Sleep!" Is so true.

  • @ih2022
    @ih2022 4 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Michael Mcintyre + Parent jokes + Children jokes = GREATNESS

  • @kellybell5987
    @kellybell5987 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    My husband and I love this so much we show it to everyone we know! We often quote it to each other when our children do something that reminds us of this. We have even begun saying good luck at night to each other!

  • @Ms.M-ic3gf
    @Ms.M-ic3gf 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +41

    Watching this once a day is the BEST birth control 🙂‍↕️😁🚫🚼😂😂

  • @mjgoodiesgalore
    @mjgoodiesgalore 3 ปีที่แล้ว +142

    I have two little boys and I can’t remember how many times I’ve watched this already, still cracks me up every single time! LOL! 🤣

    • @denisemayer3837
      @denisemayer3837 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I swear I do the same any time I have a bad day this is my go to 5 kids I need a laugh

  • @KarinaArklie
    @KarinaArklie 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    This wonderful man just makes me laugh in hysterics, I loving watching him. I also have a few of his D.V.D.s. 😅❤😅

  • @chantillucas-meek7347
    @chantillucas-meek7347 3 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    This man had me laughing so hard I couldn't catch my breath. Normally mundane life became incredibly hilarious when told the way he did.

  • @user-xq8yk5yd6f
    @user-xq8yk5yd6f 4 ปีที่แล้ว +115

    Just two more weeks and then his Netflix special airs!! I'm so ridiculously excited 😂

    • @LM-hb6yn
      @LM-hb6yn 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I was severely disappointed, not because his routines weren't any good but because I'd seen every one of them on TH-cam!

  • @jeanettebird2739
    @jeanettebird2739 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Michael has a great talent of turning everyday events into something funny and less traumatic to what we actually live !! Love him !

  • @jenniferpiper4293
    @jenniferpiper4293 4 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    These serene moments are exactly the moments I describe when people acte shocked that my husband and I have no children! It isn't shock, is jealousy. Being a good parent is exhausting. I literally go out of my way to applaud parents of a well behaved child in public. I'm not nosey, it's just that rare!
    Go to sleep. See Samuel L Jackson's good night read....🤣

  • @ed4all33
    @ed4all33 3 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    Lol so relatable . My daughter literally just got engaged and i have already shared this with her with a “ please watch before you even think of starting a family .”😁

    • @searose6192
      @searose6192 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Don't want grandkids huh?

    • @oliviaredito3437
      @oliviaredito3437 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ​@@searose6192I don't think you mean it, but that sounded very bitter and awful.

    • @shihan-gaming
      @shihan-gaming ปีที่แล้ว

      We dont tell it others. We just let them have their surprise.

    • @MissRegionRat
      @MissRegionRat 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I stopped talking to my mother over repeated commentary like this...

    • @CyndiLu68
      @CyndiLu68 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

      How sad! Can't you see we love the children so much that we CAN laugh about the hardships?

  • @JoeBleasdaleReal
    @JoeBleasdaleReal 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    The defeated “Wheels On The Bus” complete with floppy fringe “AgAiN! AgAiNNN!!!” is absolutely brilliant 😂😂😂😂

  • @magdalenacybulska2302
    @magdalenacybulska2302 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    This is probably my favourite episode of his 😂🫶🏻

    • @kayvassiliou5746
      @kayvassiliou5746 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I loved the breakdown of the English language! 😊

  • @jonnajosefsson5306
    @jonnajosefsson5306 4 ปีที่แล้ว +565

    Actually all NON parents should see this before becoming parents :p

    • @iamisaid2295
      @iamisaid2295 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      and take the clue about not going to nice restaurants with little kids. ;)

    • @BothHands1
      @BothHands1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I Am , I Said
      guess it depends on what you consider a nice restaurant. if you need to call a week or more in advance to make reservations, then you probably also have enough money for a babysitter.
      i don't have kids, but i love kids and want them. even when a baby cries on the plane, it doesn't bother me, because i know the parents probably don't want their kid crying either, and are doing the best they can.
      if you consider red lobster or tgi fridays a "nice restaurant" then you should know as well as i do that we couldn't afford the extra expenses of not bringing our hypothetical children, if we had them.
      also, if people are travelling, they might not be in an area where they can reasonably find a babysitter that they can trust in short notice. but even then, if the restaurant you're going to has a formal dress code, then yeah, don't bring your kids there because that's straight up impolite. people are dropping 500$ on that dinner for an anniversary or something, so it's just impolite to bring noisy kids there.

    • @jahamari123
      @jahamari123 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Then the human race would become extinct 😂

    • @martinhodges572
      @martinhodges572 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Great idea, that way no one will want kids and humans will go extinct in only a few more generations.

    • @jonnajosefsson5306
      @jonnajosefsson5306 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@martinhodges572 i find that highly unlikely

  • @Kiljaedenas
    @Kiljaedenas 2 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    Oh god...the mornings...3 young boys, trying to get them out the door...this is so true, every bit of it!

  • @xrflair907
    @xrflair907 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    One of the best comedian on planet earth

  • @Lea-cp8gi
    @Lea-cp8gi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    I haven’t got children and I still find this hilarious 😂

  • @yesnomaybenotreally4472
    @yesnomaybenotreally4472 4 ปีที่แล้ว +114

    “GO TO SLEEP!”
    “GO TO SLEEP!!!”
    *us insomniacs at 2am...*

  • @angelaryan6216
    @angelaryan6216 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Thanks Michael you’ve just woken my 2y old Granddaughter up, making me howl with laughter 😂

  • @Sylvia-s2u
    @Sylvia-s2u 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Laughed so much! You didn't mention how early they learn to manipulate or "play" their mommy and daddy. Like a light switch they can turn on the crocodile tears, throw aroyal tantrum, or "whatever pushes your buttons". But, tell you what, I wouldn't trade my 3 sonswho are now in their 40's for any other life. I am 79 now and they treat their mom like a queen. Life is like that. I would be awful lonely without them and their families. ❤❤

  • @ronnie7075
    @ronnie7075 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    How can he be so right about every parents nightly battles, and daytime battles.

  • @julieigel4345
    @julieigel4345 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I’ve seen this so many times and it never disappoints! 😂😂😂

  • @homemail9653
    @homemail9653 4 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    I swear this gets funnier every time I watch it. The punchlines punch harder because I've forgotten whats coming.

  • @locallezbean3042
    @locallezbean3042 4 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    My dads way of getting us to things was threatening to sell us to the Gypsies 😂 and I believed him until I was 10! 🤣

    • @ranimmhmd6676
      @ranimmhmd6676 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So it us only our dads 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @bernadettegray6083
      @bernadettegray6083 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      My daughters kindergarten teacher called me to ask if I could shed some light on something my 6 year old daughter said, She told that d s he asked the class where they were before they were born. She was getting answers like heaven, on mommy’s tummy etc. My 7 yr old was the only one who said she was in Cleveland, what made her say that? The teacher wanted to know. I had to take responsibility and tell the teacher that when she was being impossible, I would tell her that I would wrap her up in plain brown paper and mail her to Cleveland .

    • @annamarielewis7078
      @annamarielewis7078 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Mine said they would send me back.

  • @laurawilson9163
    @laurawilson9163 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    I love how his hair is it’s own little character.

  • @johnstriker480
    @johnstriker480 4 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    "Things you don't consider as THINGS will become nearly impossible!"

  • @forakermm
    @forakermm 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    My kids are adults now, but watching him go through the morning routine makes me laugh and my eyes twitch simultaneously!! Great routine!!👍🏼👍🏼

  • @laurafulop2486
    @laurafulop2486 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    He is a good actor as well that is why his jokes/truth works sooooo well

  • @oreogiri
    @oreogiri ปีที่แล้ว +5

    No matter which part of the world one comes from....children are great levellers. It’s the same battle saga here...in Bangalore, India too. We had our battles with our daughters years ago. Now we enjoy watching our daughter and son in law battle with theirs. Aaaah, how sweet is revenge, though we dare not mention it🤣. We are waiting for the other daughter to fall in line too...
    Michael hasn’t mentioned the fifth basic battle...waking the children up on weekdays in time for school bus...oh my! I can write stories...or provide enough material to Michael for another show.
    History repeats, and it’s finally fun, FUN watching the grandees grow up. And throwing nuggets of wisdom just to fan the fire🤣🤣
    Thank you Michael for bringing back so many memories. And yet one day you will look back and say how beautiful it all was, and how fast the children grow up. You wouldn’t want it any other way. I don’t. 😍

  • @aivlymix
    @aivlymix 4 ปีที่แล้ว +126

    Me: *Cleaning room*
    Parents: ''CLEAN YOUR ROOM!''
    Me: ''Nah.'' *Makes room messy again*

    • @LadyVoldemort
      @LadyVoldemort 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I did that too. Every time my mom told me to do things I already in the middleof doing (by my own initiative), I actually just stopped. 😅 I don't know why. Maybe I'm still a rebel child at 39 years old...because I don't have children of my own.

    • @aivlymix
      @aivlymix 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@LadyVoldemort lol

    • @aivlymix
      @aivlymix 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Uma lol

    • @8daudiomaster962
      @8daudiomaster962 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Me:gets the belt

    • @aivlymix
      @aivlymix 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@8daudiomaster962 :O Me: *Cleans room*

  • @AlbaFire
    @AlbaFire 3 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    It's hilarious because as parents we can relate but as adults, we need to remember, we were once like that too at some point 😂😂

    • @MsTerrieLynn
      @MsTerrieLynn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Oh no,. We were the children who were perfect with Roman costumes 🤣

  • @astridforel5702
    @astridforel5702 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I don't have children yet, but I have siblings, and I remember how my mother had to howl for one of my sisters to get out of bed and come get breakfast. Sometimes we were late for school because the little brat wouldn't get up ! Her twin sister on the other hand usually was up before the rest of us to play with the dog so our puppy wouldn't feel so lonely staying at home all Day :)

    • @lizanna6390
      @lizanna6390 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I had the task of waking up a younger brother. I popped my head in door woke him up. Made sure eyes are open and he was awake, not still half in a dream. 5 minutes later, I took his blanket. He became a morning person, I did not.

  • @lukejochem
    @lukejochem 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    When my kids argue over putting on a jersey/coat because they're not cold I tell them "go stand outside for a minute", works (almost) every time

    • @yesterdayitrained
      @yesterdayitrained 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sounds just like something my dad would do…

  • @FirecrackerBE
    @FirecrackerBE 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I don't know how many times I've watched this by now, but it still makes me laugh every single time.

  • @sangeet9586
    @sangeet9586 4 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    He's a genius i was HOWLING the whole time

  • @sharmeenhaque7898
    @sharmeenhaque7898 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Michael: describes everyday things with genius skill
    Us: at home wiping tears of laughter and watching several people in the audience doing the same 😂😂😂

  • @Poemi10304
    @Poemi10304 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    The wife saying he’ll get lucky when the kids are asleep totally knew he wouldn’t be getting any! 😂

  • @beautifulspirit7420
    @beautifulspirit7420 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Comedian Jim Gaffigan has 5 kids when he had his 4th he was asked what it was like. He said "imagine you're drowning and someone throws you a baby" 😄😄😄

  • @RedpilledPatriot
    @RedpilledPatriot 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    So funny I actually belly laughed! A deep funny that I haven’t had in a while. Without one curse word well done Michael!!! 😉👍🎉🎈🎁🥂

  • @axionth27sharonannKendel-jk6ot
    @axionth27sharonannKendel-jk6ot 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Have watched this clip so many times always has me belly laughing and remembering . The revenge comes when they got kids and they start telling you, and you know what's coming and your in stitches before your child can say anything ❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @susanjohnson9795
    @susanjohnson9795 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    This is the 5-6th time I've watched this. I just love watching him do this.

  • @KuiWagacha
    @KuiWagacha 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    "...things that you don't even CONSIDER to be Things!!!" Love him + his falsettos!!!

  • @AnnetteWarren
    @AnnetteWarren 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Omg tears from laughing! The daily battles are my life. 😂😂😂 my son drives me insane every single day

  • @pamaha16
    @pamaha16 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I've seen this several times and it still cracks me up. It also still makes me feel validated for not wanting little terrorists that ruin your life. I mean, children.

  • @BixLovesMiley
    @BixLovesMiley 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I have, since watching this compilation for the first time, internelized the high pitched FINE. It is my inner voice of confusion and defiance, when the world throws bad things at me that I cannot, and do not have the willpower to change. Thanks for giving me a voice, Michael.

  • @torshavaibhav8514
    @torshavaibhav8514 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Man… we are so with you… Absolutely with you!!!

  • @abornbuyer
    @abornbuyer 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I don't know how I came across the first video of Michael McIntyre but I am forever grateful. This man is the funniest comedian I have ever seen. I absolutely LOVE him. I have now been binge watching his other videos for the last 2 nights! And at this point I now know that I can't be eating or drinking while I am watching his video's he makes me laugh so hard! He jokes about topics that are so relatable to me that I can't help but laugh so much it hurts!

  • @kriscarv5708
    @kriscarv5708 9 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I love it is that there is no exaggeration with his story telling.

  • @europaexplorer1
    @europaexplorer1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    He’s absolutely spot on..... battles after battles after battles!!

    • @europaexplorer1
      @europaexplorer1 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      and i'm watching it again and my life is still about the same!!!

  • @worm9135
    @worm9135 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I met a girl on Omegal last night from Australia, and she suggested I check this guy out. I may never speak with her again unfortunately! She was beautiful, smart, funny, and super sweet! Even tho our paths may never cross again, I will always remember her encouraging words!

  • @breeanaoldham2634
    @breeanaoldham2634 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I have watched this soooo many times. PERFECTION!

  • @kellysong2256
    @kellysong2256 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    You pretty much have to put your toddler over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes to be able to leave your house 😂

  • @Joy-qw3wm
    @Joy-qw3wm ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Omg!! Totally spot on ,and so funny!! Thanks for being so relatable and hysterical at the same time Micheal! You crack me up:)

  • @joyclement106
    @joyclement106 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am at a loss here. Some of my favorite memories are of putting my children to bed. First my son, singing to him, while i watched him fall asleep, songing to my daughter while i playec with her til she fell asleep. Now mornings, i definitely relate. No matter how i tried to get organized something was always forgotten at home. Lol...

  • @bazza945
    @bazza945 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Reading my then toddler nephew a "familiar to him" story and sneakily skipping a couple of pages. I thought I'd flawlessly nailed the transition, but NO! He knew the order of the words, from page one until "The End". He was three, I think.
    I hid the book, in an iron box, with sixteen padlocks, then swallowed all the keys. Nah, that was just a dream.

  • @Concetta20
    @Concetta20 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I love how theatrical his voice is. My stomach hurts.

  • @kathyknight3896
    @kathyknight3896 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I have watched this so many times. And I laugh/cry every time.

  • @Risings11
    @Risings11 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Brilliant! I laughed so hard I cried because I know 💯 how he feels as I went through so many of the same exact things while my children were growing up. Ah, the joys of parenting 😂

  • @statusaeswave2979
    @statusaeswave2979 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Always my favorite routine, but Michael is my favorite of all .

  • @perfectpinterestgarden
    @perfectpinterestgarden 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I showed this to my parents and they went hysterical XD

  • @lolinnitfam9045
    @lolinnitfam9045 4 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Yoooo i love how he has continued to upload during lockdown

    • @lolinnitfam9045
      @lolinnitfam9045 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      How does this already have 3 likes

    • @katmusswoodwind
      @katmusswoodwind 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I mean a lot of it is just older stuff , but it's good that he's got someone who's great at editing together relevant clips this way

  • @jaynestarrett7779
    @jaynestarrett7779 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I've been a nanny and I DO know believe me. Very hard work, at least I could hand them back at the end of the day.

  • @anamiguel2603
    @anamiguel2603 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I hope it will be available in the Asia Pacific region! I'm so happy! Love your comedy, its so refreshing!

  • @strictlyconservative8777
    @strictlyconservative8777 12 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    Wiping the tears from my eyes laughing so hard. Absolutely hysterical!

  • @gac99
    @gac99 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    i will watch this every time you reupload it, i dont care its So funny

  • @Shorty-uh9ks
    @Shorty-uh9ks ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This man will never not be funny 😂😂😂

  • @sarahwren1202
    @sarahwren1202 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I will NEVER get tired of these bits 😂

  • @mcfcok1683
    @mcfcok1683 4 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    He makes everything funny it’s ridiculous 😂😂😂❤️

  • @himanshusoni528
    @himanshusoni528 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    The spotlight operator in his performances is one of the busiest among all stand-up comedians

  • @AmericPet
    @AmericPet 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm dying. 😂 Eyes streaming. Smile beaming. Thinking about all the terrible things I have ever been told about parenting. Thinking, "Dear God, this whole 'I'd love to start a family' thought may be even more ludicrous than I thought."

  • @melanie2048
    @melanie2048 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Micheal got me to tears,made my stomach ache, made me drop my phone, made my neighbors think I'm a psychopath from a hospital because I was laughing like no ones business and he did this allll in under 17 minutes

  • @helengorton894
    @helengorton894 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I almost choked to death laughing at the children show....absolutely fabulous!!!!!😂😂😂

  • @sharonhunter337
    @sharonhunter337 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Raised old school.
    We were given to a count of 1. That's basically it. Threats of death, ... for us that was the non-breathing, non-blinking look of love. That was all I had to see and I never pushed the issue.
    My parents never laid a finger on us. It was that some things were never done.

  • @arinlilevjen6114
    @arinlilevjen6114 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    OMG the zipper battle is so real!! 😂😂

  • @alicjamikoajczak5556
    @alicjamikoajczak5556 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I have kids and that was good one! Thank God my kids are asleep all night. Your will too later probably.. Best of luck to all parents😘 We are superheroes!