Thank you as always for your love and support. As we’ve been trying to upload more frequently, we’ve been playing around with video styles. Do you like this sit down style or would you prefer more of a vlog style (example: day in the life)? ❤
I enjoy both video styles; i feel like each style has its place perhaps? I came out four years ago and my wife and I have been through some of the same things. Thank you for your sharing your experiences, as it really helps working through ours too.
Love both also. I love the podcast style a little bit more. It just feels like your talking with friends. Thank you for sharing your beautiful life story. You both are making such a difference for different styles of families. Our family is so appreciative of your family❤️
As a retired psychotherapist, I would say that many, if not most relationships, are transactional. You two are working on something that seems richer and deeper than that. I appreciate your courage and willingness to give others a window into your process.
You can still love a person and lose physical attraction for them if they transition. That's not a sign you don't love them but that you are simply not anything but straight.
My intersex sexual development made me sort of male and female. We made our sexual lives work for us. It is a wonderful thing to have a wife who actually understands and accepts me. This has been 50 years for us, so we must be doing something right. ❤ I’m proud of both of you for living your life and love. ❤️
@@rescuegirl Oh that is awesome 😎 I see us as being the normal ones in the world. I would be perfect if it wasn’t for all the surgeries and related cancer. The doctors are trying to figure a way to allow me to take some form of estrogen that will not cause the cancer to return or spread again.
@@rescuegirl I never heard of that particular form of intersex, very interesting. My intersex is from the earliest weeks of gestation the period when germ cell sexual development takes place. These germ cells failed to fully reach my embryonic gonads. As a result my right gonad/testis remained as a fetal gonad and the left gonad did develop as a testis but remained small. The right one remained undescended and it had to be surgically brought down as a ten year old child. In addition many other germ cells were deposited in various areas of my abdomen. Several were removed as a child other were not found until I was 45 when one became malignant. These were huge as they grew to between 10 and 17.5 cm. As you would expect my gonads are on the small size. I did live as a male but find doing so hard and out of place for me on a phycological level. Hope you are doing well.
You both are so beautiful but idk how anyone couldn't be attracted to Shaye. She is just so sweet and gentle and beautiful to look at. I love how soft she is. The way you guys explain your attraction to each other just makes perfect sense to me. I feel the exact same way when I'm in love with someone. The attraction is just to the person and how they make me feel.
Thank you for your continued willingness to put this content out publicly. No easy task. It will be an incredible day when labels and sexual intimacy is not where everybody's mind goes to first.
I must say this is entirely different from any content I'd normally watch. First I saw a few of your short clips then I took the time to watch any of your videos that popped up. I'm in awe of your love story. With so many failed relationships out there, all of mine included, Lol it's awesome to see the love you two beautiful souls have for each other. I'm rooting for you and subscribing now.
Same! I thought here we go type thing. But honestly, I'm learning a lot. You're both beautiful in many ways, and I love your love and compassion for one another.
Do you ever miss your "husband"? Do you ever feel like he died? I would miss all of the masculine attributes of my husband and would feel an intense loss. Even though I would be supportive of his wants, I would feel the loss. Is that why you weemed to be on the verge of tears?
@@littlebitmckee8234 Even when presenting as male, she was still a trans woman. Adapt the terms you use for her past self to be in line with her current identity. It's not like they're different people.
Everyone talks about the what Shaye has been through and how strong she is, but Amanda? She has been through just as much, if not more. Despite their love, this isn’t easy at all, it is life changing, and Amanda has gone through this with grace and strength, being an example of true love to her spouse and her children ❤
Absolutely agree. Everything in their life and all their family sacrifice has been with a view to Shaye’s happiness. I cannot imagine how difficult that it has been on Amanda. Hopefully now that Shaye feels whole and good about them self, Amanda can feel the same
You are both ROCK STARS, seriously. 😂💜 People are SO CONCERNED with how queer people get intimate, it's so bizarre isn't it? When my son came out to me as a Trans man when he was a teenager, everyone always asked me whether he was attracted to men or women and I always had to educate them that sexuality is separate from gender identity! People who have never been exposed to it have a hard time understanding it at first, but it's an important message; I love that you guys are spreading it in such a fun loving way. 🤩🤩
Yea. When I learned that there are transwomen who become lesbians, it was a real mind bender. Fortunately, I learned about it pretty young, so I had plenty of time to learn more and figure it out.
Right? I love seeing people being happy as their true authentic selves. You can see how much happier Shaye is in general and I love that she and Amanda are sharing their journey with us. They are awesome people! ❤
It doesn't matter what package you come in. It's the heart and soul you fall in love with. Lets face it looks fade. Your love is absolutely heartwarming ❤
Love the sit down style, and love love the vulnerability and (dare I say) intimacy of the revelation of the psychological / emotional landscape of your relationship. This is what courage and value looks like in people and a progressive channel like this one. Thank you Amanda and Shaye, you give so much to the world through your sharing. Cheers. :)
I love that you guys are talking about this! Sexuality is so sacred between both parties but having you share just a tad but about your story hopefully will bring awarness to others! Even though you didn’t have to, thank you for sharing! I hope this touches lives and opens peoples eyes!
I found your page from Skyler. I was fascinated by your openness. But as I watch your videos, I become more in awe. The support you give each other & the love you have for each other is inspiring. I am a straight woman in a troubled relationship. We work on it daily. But it is me who usually has to concede. When the other person is comfortable & refuses to recognize that there is an issue it strains the relationship. Amanda, I so admire you for accepting & loving Shaye for who they are. It is truly an act of love & acceptance. Shaye, you are a beautiful person. I know being honest & being who you truly are, has not been an easy road. Keep going girl! You be your best you. Love with all your heart. Live your best life. Be the amazing woman you were meant to be. I have gained strength from watching you both. You make me laugh, think, care & most important give me strength to be authentic self. Thank you!
I have been with my husband for 31 years. As our bodies have changed, so has our intimacy. We look different now. Our hormone levels have changed. Our intimacy is still present, in fact I would say closer than when we first met. Based on your explanation it sounds similar. You still have intimacy with one another even with the changes you have under gone. Thanks for sharing! 😊
Y’all’s respect and love for one another is palpable. We are so lucky to hear from y’all about your specific journey. Amanda your perspective on loving Shaye in her truest form is so refreshing. I do relate to you so much when you say, you grew up with male attraction but thought women were beautiful. Two things: I’ve never thought of having sexual relations with women and in all things I champion for every human to be their truest self, so if my husband were to ever present to me that he felt more like another gender I too would hope *they’d* let me venture into that unknown with them. Because my partners soul and happiness is one of the greatest joys of my life. ❤
When my trans son first "came out" he came out as "lesbian" then eventually he felt more comfortable to be his true self and realized he was trans. I was already a trans advocate and supporter before he came out so I was able to be understanding and be supportive. I have to admit I was confused overall because he never seemed lesbian, He always loved women "as a man" if that makes any sense, he was a male in his essence and so that (being lesbian) confused me. turns out he was actually trans just had not accepted it yet. When I understood the difference between gender and sexuality I understood why he was trans and not lesbian. He is happy and in a great relationship now and I couldn't be happier for him. May we all be happy and well.
What you said about him liking women yet never “seeming lesbian,” and like he liked women “as a man” makes total sense!!! I transitioned ftm, too, and while I’m bisexual, I didn’t even realize I’m attracted to women until after I transitioned - because before I realized I was trans, I intuitively knew “lesbian” didn’t fit me at all, so I didn’t explore my attractions to women. After transitioning, it made a lot more sense.
what does loving women “as a man” vs “as a woman” and having a “male essence” VS a “womans essence” mean? Because it sounds like you must have rigid ideas about the way men and women can love and relate to the world to believe these are distinct things between the sexes.
@@rachelc6443 I wont go into explanations of what I mean, as your tone says it all, and I believe you get the gist of what I mean. If not that's ok too. I could not explain it in a way you would be "acceptable" for you. So i will save us both the back and forth. But I will tell you that my view is the average view so you are right about having "rigid" views if that is what you want to call it, or "traditional" or "Conservative" . I have had to reevaluate my learned beliefs. I have been thrilled to learn there are many societies (Native Americans) that have 3rd genders or something similar.
I heard an alternative definition of bisexual as being attracted to people of my same gender and people of a different gender. I liked how that was put.
I am SO impressed by all the learning and self exploration you've embraced. So smart and empowering and enriching to do this for yourselves, and so generous to share! The sit-down style is a perfect way to convey what you are learning and to model this awesome and fulfilling way to approach life.
Sim, ela estava explicando sobre conexões da alma, e como ela se sentia mais próxima agora. Como uma pessoa bissexual (que saiu do armário tarde), eu entendo completamente ela. Fazer sex0 com homem sempre pareceu puramente carnal, e com mulher mais profundo, com muito mais conexão, carinho e afeto. Eu imagino o nó que não deve ser vivenciar esse tipo de coisa com a MESMA pessoa.
Idk, I genuinely think maybe she's just sick because before they even started talking about it, she sounded a little congested lol I think of course there's hard parts to talk about certain things but I also think, unless she was doing some crying prior to getting on screen and managing to stop long enough to do her makeup and not cry it off, this might be a "she has a cold" thing
Both are tremendous and I so appreciate you addressing these questions with open heartedness and kindness rather than defensiveness (which would be warranted given it’s truly none of our business). BUT I think you do so much good for others who don’t have to feel alone because of you two beautiful humans using your platform to speak openly and honestly. Assuming the best of people - that they are curious - that they are confused - that they are interested - that they too have been shaped by our culture of projection. Every couple has the right and joy of expressing intimacy in the ways that feel organic and loving to them. Thank you so so much for your channel and your hearts.
It's cool to watch the two of you talking so openly and vulnerably about your marriage and how this has changed, yet revealed, how strong your love was in the first place. Obviously it makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Fascinating how binary our culture has been.
I love you guys so much dude- ur openness is so refreshing. Hope you both dont ever feel presure to overshare. I feel like talking about this on ur channel is so rock and roll. Yall r the best.
It's interesting because you guys came from a seemingly straight relationship (straight male and female), but then there was a transition. I just want to say that I have noticed more couples who come from a straight relationship do not last and are not compatible because the other partner is actually still straight. So the trans person is queer, but the other person is still straight. With a situation like this, no matter how you say society has constructed your sexuality, if you are truly straight--it will still not be compatible. And many trans partners force their old partners to be queer just to make sure the relationship and compatibility works. They force their partners to be lesbian or bisexual by saying that they are actually bi, they've just been brainwashed to be straight. This will obviously not work out. I just want to say, if you are a partner of a trans and you find yourself to be really straight, then it's going to be really impossible to stay with your now transitioned partner. If you are bisexual or queer, it is easier bec you are already into that. A lot of misconceptions about the trans and wives/husbands is that the transition MAKES the straight partner queer. You hear comments like, "Oh, so I guess you're a lesbian now" to the straight partner. This is not the case. Sexuality is very hard to deconstruct or change. Yes, there can be scale but again if your scale doesn't go towards queerness, it's going to be hard to stay. Most of the time the partners that stay are already in the Queer spectrum and have just accidentally found out when their partner transitions. Much love for you guys though, I don't mean to disrespect.
The love you have for each other is apparent. The tenderness and respect you show each other warms my heart. It’s delightful how Shay’s eyes sparkle when she talks about you, Amanda. It’s obvious there is an intimate connection between you. Intimate, of course, does not necessarily mean sexual. It is generous of you both to answer the curious.
What I like the most of listening to your channel, is how educated you both are about gender. It is clear that you both took the time to deconstruct social norms around it, question them, dig into academic material, but from the perspective of someone that wants to understand their own skin. It is clear that also you have access to a financial possibility to reach that information. I feel you also aknowledge the priviledge you´ve had as a trans woman with resources, but you are using it to encourage conversations with care and truth. Sending lots of trans love for the two of you and your family.
Your story is so similar to mine and my wife’s story. We were married for 18 years before she came out and began her transition. That was 4 years ago. Since then, we’ve just grown closer and it’s been a beautiful thing to see her be so happy from living authentically. In the beginning, it seemed that I would only hear all the horror stories about couples going through a transition. So, it’s so lovely to see another couple living happily after transition.
Thank you both for being so brave, so authentic, in sharing your story. As the mom of a transgender daughter, I am grateful for anyone who helps educate the public in getting to know that transgender people are just like everyone else in so many ways.
My message is don't lock yourself into categories or labels other people made up which is limiting your own growth. However don't mistaken this as meaning making up many new labels and then being mad or penalize other people who aren't up to date with it, it just mean being authentically yourself.
I have deep respect for your determination to keep healthy boundaries and answer only the questions you want. The rest is nobody's business, as you said. I also loved the treatment you gave to labels which seem to be so necessary for many people. I guess it helps them nail down what is actually a mysterious/confusing realm. What comes through loud and clear is your sophistication, articulation, and deep love for each other. That's gold!
When you are in love with someone, it doesn't turn off. The body changed, the love didn't. I love ya's and truly could care less about your sex life. At the same time, I do understand why people ask. Anyone going through transition as a couple, I'm sure, have concerns. It's so great you speak so honestly.
I find it unbelievably how people you don't even know think they have the right to approach and ask really personal questions when they would never ask those really personal questioned to any other part of society'' They think they have the right. ''Why'' I still can't get my head round these people as it's really rude. It can actually ruin a lovely day or evening out when they do. They don't understand the consequences of the knock-on effect which can last weeks with me. ''All due to someone's inappropriate question. Anyway, looking good girly's. ❤
yeah, its really unbelievable. its the same thing in how people who don't understand or are opposed to trans existence, always attempt to boil it down to body parts, which is so dehumanizing .
Thank your for continuing to share so much of yourselves with us! It’s really beautiful watching this aspect of your lives continue to blossom ❤ My heart just glows listening to you both. Your unconditional love for each other is palatable and simply amazing.
I am in the same boat as Amanda. When I look back I always saw that attraction to woman but always tried not to think that way but now I know I'm bisexual. Thank you Amanda for putting the words to m thoughts. You guys are my heros.
Thank you for being so open and vulnerable with us. I’ve really enjoyed watching ya’ll and your wife’s journey has truly touched me. I love the love ya’ll have for each other.
I usually try and avoid the comment section of videos having anything to do about being trans, because there's usually a lot of horrible comments. But I decided to look at this one and am pleasantly surprised that there are only a couple of negative ones and the rest are all very positive.
Many of the ppl watching your channel may be going through something similar and want details they cant find anywhere else. We need to know where to find answers. What happens to a trans woman's boy parts and sexual function? Is it different for an early or late transition? Curious what age Shaye would pick to transition. For example if a boy knows he'll be 6'5" but is now only 5'9", can (s)he begin transition to stop growing, while preserving sexual viability? Never having had children, there maybe the desire to use those parts later, without sperm freezing. So many questions.
It's up to each trans person/couple if they want to divulge that much personal information. No one owes the public that much information, but I'm sure there are trans people/couples elsewhere that are comfortable sharing that much. It might be worth your time to seek out those channels that are comfortable sharing extremely personal information, and if you can't find any, then I agree with @carolionroar, Google is the next best place to go.
a good doctor might be able to help give these answers, as well as support groups. A good doctor should be the one to help people determine a lot of this stuff, its just sad its not super accessible.
i think this life journey for you both, for you all, (family, friends, work buddies, your children), has been/is still being, one of the most epic of ones imaginable 🙌❣️🙌❣️🙌.. and your strength and determination to share it out and communicating all the layers and depths, is deeply sacred historical history for humanity.. it is truly spectacular … and i know i am very grateful .. very supportive
you guys are so brave and open !! wishing nothing but love, happiness and health for your family!!! thank you for giving us a peek into your most deep feelings & life!
that emotion coming from her must be amazing, it's a glowing kind ... two people taking steps together against the world's normal notion, still finding that love and security even deeper.
the statement “I felt like I was attracted to you, but not in the male way” made so much sense! I have been trying to figure out why I felt so different once I started processing and deconstructing my gender
I love how Amanda describes her sexuality when she was growing up and younger. It’s kind of like you’re conditioned to it and don’t put much thought into it other than what you’re “supposed to”. She describes exactly how I describe it for myself later in life after I’ve lived and learned about myself.
This is so interesting to me, I don't think I could stay with someone who transitioned...I know attraction is also emotional and if you love that person, he/she stays the same person after transition, but I think i would just feel like I lost my husband and never thought about having a wife so it would be weird. No offense to anyone, It's great that you stayed together and I wish you all the best
It’s just a guess from my experience coming from a very religious background but talking about anything to do with sex is still very difficult and sometimes traumatic. Even well after a decade of marriage and being free of religion, having conversations with my husband about our intimate life will make me squeamish, tearful, or make my voice shake. I don’t have control of it. Religion can mess you up.
The most important thing is that you’re wonderful parents and happy! God bless the positivity and happiness in your household. That is what’s important .
Pansexual and bisexual are different. And people who identify as bisexual do not mean to suggest there are only two genders. Pansexual is when you don’t care about the gender of your partner while bisexual is when even thou you are attracted to any gender, you still have preferences.
I have a very important question. Are you both happy. My daughter was born male, 😮and she is doing much better now she has started her transition, but we have a long way to go. Her happiness is everything, and it seems to be the most difficult thing to achieve in some people.
I have a trans friend who is only attracted to women... and all of her trans friends are also lesbians. Since gender and s3xu@lity are two separate things, I really don't think trans woman being lesbians is all that uncommon.
I admire Amanda, actually both of them for their deep loving kindness friendship and for their choice to stay together and continue to be guiding parents to their kids❤God Bless!
I love you both! You two are so wonderful and I'm so happy for you. A topic that didn't need to be addressed to please some, but bravo! As a trans woman I'm so grateful for you both sharing your journey and intimate lives. I know it helps all of us. You make us all human. Thank you.
I recently discovered your Instagram accounts and then I watched all your TH-cam videos this week. The love Amanda has for her wife Shaye is so deep. The way Shaye and Amanda go through the transition journey together is so touching. As a cisgender lesbian myself, I almost cried watching your videos. Shaye, you are so beautiful. The love between you and Amanda is so pure and beautiful. Your family is beautiful. Almost too good to be true for queer people like us. Sending love from Hong Kong ❤❤❤
don't know if you have looked into comp het but it was a really eye-opening concept to me. a LOT of women don't realise they can be attracted to women until later in life.
I know this isn't the subject of the video, but wow, I'm really struck by how well Shaye's FFS turned out. She's downright pretty! It's just amazing what's possible these days, and so lucky for her to be alive in a time when it is. I'm really happy for her that it can take away that part of the anxiety of being out.
I am amazed by your story of love, loyalty and companionship. I loved the video style and would love if they did more in this style. I have been following you here from Brazil.
You guys are so cool!!! I love how cool and collected Shaye is and I love how animated Amanda is (for example, you move your head around a lot when you speak, which is AWESOME!). I love this couple!
I think that it's inappropriate for people to ask about intimacy in a marriage when it's no one's business. When someone askes me if i'm gay? It frustrates me because my sexuality is not my identity. One of my psych professors on human sexual development stated something that stuck with me she said " sexual orientation isnt who you can have sex with its who you can love".
I love to learn about people all the time. Thank you. I’m a vegetarian and people ask how I get my protein. What? I don’t understand why people ask about people’s intimate details. Or what their protein intake is!
I lost my ex wife after my transition even if I told her that I’m gonna transition 1 year before we married, she had all the time to think about, since I waited 2 more years (3 years total) to jump the cliff! We started losing our couple when my body started to change.. nothing remained after my surgery.. now we are just friends raising our daughter
You 2 humans drew me in with your story. ❤ I haven’t viewed all your videos…..yet. so my apologies if this was already addressed~~I’m curious if Amanda has talked about if she was blindsided by Shaye’s decision to transition or if she had moments in their marriage where she wondered if something was going on with Shaye. I’m assuming Amanda went thru the grief process in some aspect as her world changed too. And with my nosey comments I just posted for all to see, I will say Shaye’s aura is just super brilliant. It’s so obvious just how at peace she is. I love her constant smile! You have a fascinating story and I’m really glad your family popped up on my recommendations. Amanda, you are the coolest human (and I’m envious you are a badass behind the sewing machine) Without a doubt, you 2 are the perfect sample of a deep soul connection ❤ good for you!!! Thank you for sharing your story. ✌️
Like I said before, you two are soul mates! Amanda you are so thoughtful and able to express what you are feeling in away that we can all understand. Shaye has a way of making us smile about the discomfort of the subject at hand,lol, but certainly can articulate her inner thoughts as well. I can't think of two better people to help all of us understand that love is love.❤️👍 Thank you!
you two are so totally cool and interesting. I think you each lucked out in the conversation department. I am a little jealous of how easily you get into deep honest communication--totally cool!
Thank you for this video, you really didn’t have to address this and not even all straight couples are sexually compatible in the same way. Wish you all the best.
Amanda at the end, trying to sound tough, oh you just make me laugh! I get the soul connection between the two of you and I never sensed Shaye was attracted to men, before or after the transition. Perhaps I am like many out there who don't understand the "how" of going from a hetero to queer sex life because I simply have not experienced it. Amanda makes a really good point about how relationships change over time which is why I always wondered if you mourn the previous physical connection you had, especially because you have three wonderful kids! Shaye explained that she can now show up fully in your intimate relationship which makes me wonder, Shaye do you think if you had a child now you would experience birth, etc differently? You two are helping SO many folks out there to understand transitioning and gender identity in so many ways, and I thank you for sharing you life so I can learn to be a better human.
Thank you as always for your love and support. As we’ve been trying to upload more frequently, we’ve been playing around with video styles. Do you like this sit down style or would you prefer more of a vlog style (example: day in the life)? ❤
I enjoy both video styles; i feel like each style has its place perhaps?
I came out four years ago and my wife and I have been through some of the same things. Thank you for your sharing your experiences, as it really helps working through ours too.
I love the sit down videos! Honestly I would enjoy a podcast of you two
Both!
Love both also.
I love the podcast style a little bit more. It just feels like your talking with friends. Thank you for sharing your beautiful life story. You both are making such a difference for different styles of families. Our family is so appreciative of your family❤️
yup-both ... thank you!🙂
As a retired psychotherapist, I would say that many, if not most relationships, are transactional. You two are working on something that seems richer and deeper than that. I appreciate your courage and willingness to give others a window into your process.
"I feel a lot more connected to you, because I feel more connected with me." ❤ beautiful.
You are the proof, you should love someone for who they are. That way you’ll love each other no matter what. People can learn from that.
You can still love a person and lose physical attraction for them if they transition. That's not a sign you don't love them but that you are simply not anything but straight.
My intersex sexual development made me sort of male and female. We made our sexual lives work for us. It is a wonderful thing to have a wife who actually understands and accepts me. This has been 50 years for us, so we must be doing something right. ❤
I’m proud of both of you for living your life and love. ❤️
I am also intersex! My wife has been absolutely amazing and accepting!
@@rescuegirl Oh that is awesome 😎 I see us as being the normal ones in the world.
I would be perfect if it wasn’t for all the surgeries and related cancer. The doctors are trying to figure a way to allow me to take some form of estrogen that will not cause the cancer to return or spread again.
@@rescuegirl I never heard of that particular form of intersex, very interesting. My intersex is from the earliest weeks of gestation the period when germ cell sexual development takes place. These germ cells failed to fully reach my embryonic gonads. As a result my right gonad/testis remained as a fetal gonad and the left gonad did develop as a testis but remained small. The right one remained undescended and it had to be surgically brought down as a ten year old child. In addition many other germ cells were deposited in various areas of my abdomen. Several were removed as a child other were not found until I was 45 when one became malignant. These were huge as they grew to between 10 and 17.5 cm.
As you would expect my gonads are on the small size. I did live as a male but find doing so hard and out of place for me on a phycological level. Hope you are doing well.
@@davidmicheletti6292Good luck!
@@davidmicheletti6292 Exactly what my doctor is doing for me. I’ve lived my entire life as a female so the added E makes me happy as a side effect. 🙂
You both are so beautiful but idk how anyone couldn't be attracted to Shaye. She is just so sweet and gentle and beautiful to look at. I love how soft she is. The way you guys explain your attraction to each other just makes perfect sense to me. I feel the exact same way when I'm in love with someone. The attraction is just to the person and how they make me feel.
Thank you for your continued willingness to put this content out publicly. No easy task. It will be an incredible day when labels and sexual intimacy is not where everybody's mind goes to first.
I must say this is entirely different from any content I'd normally watch. First I saw a few of your short clips then I took the time to watch any of your videos that popped up. I'm in awe of your love story. With so many failed relationships out there, all of mine included, Lol it's awesome to see the love you two beautiful souls have for each other. I'm rooting for you and subscribing now.
Same, and I totally subscribed, too! Rooting for your entire family! ❤
Same!!
Same! I thought here we go type thing. But honestly, I'm learning a lot. You're both beautiful in many ways, and I love your love and compassion for one another.
Do you ever miss your "husband"? Do you ever feel like he died? I would miss all of the masculine attributes of my husband and would feel an intense loss. Even though I would be supportive of his wants, I would feel the loss. Is that why you weemed to be on the verge of tears?
*Her
I think Amanda found out she was bi or at least Shay sexual.
@@carschmn no I do mean “he”….when he presented as a man. Now “he” is a "she”. Does Amanda miss the “him” version?
I don’t think she was on the verge of tears. I think she has a cold or allergies.
You're straight, aren't you?
@@littlebitmckee8234 Even when presenting as male, she was still a trans woman. Adapt the terms you use for her past self to be in line with her current identity. It's not like they're different people.
I love that you’re addressing the things people are curious about. Education is key
Everyone talks about the what Shaye has been through and how strong she is, but Amanda? She has been through just as much, if not more. Despite their love, this isn’t easy at all, it is life changing, and Amanda has gone through this with grace and strength, being an example of true love to her spouse and her children ❤
Absolutely agree. Everything in their life and all their family sacrifice has been with a view to Shaye’s happiness. I cannot imagine how difficult that it has been on Amanda. Hopefully now that Shaye feels whole and good about them self, Amanda can feel the same
You are damn right.
You are both ROCK STARS, seriously. 😂💜 People are SO CONCERNED with how queer people get intimate, it's so bizarre isn't it? When my son came out to me as a Trans man when he was a teenager, everyone always asked me whether he was attracted to men or women and I always had to educate them that sexuality is separate from gender identity! People who have never been exposed to it have a hard time understanding it at first, but it's an important message; I love that you guys are spreading it in such a fun loving way. 🤩🤩
Yea. When I learned that there are transwomen who become lesbians, it was a real mind bender. Fortunately, I learned about it pretty young, so I had plenty of time to learn more and figure it out.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Right? I love seeing people being happy as their true authentic selves. You can see how much happier Shaye is in general and I love that she and Amanda are sharing their journey with us. They are awesome people! ❤
Proud trans and bisexual, but i will never call myself queer because i am not part of the far left anymore
People are curious of things they’ve never seen before
It doesn't matter what package you come in. It's the heart and soul you fall in love with. Lets face it looks fade. Your love is absolutely heartwarming ❤
I like the way you both sit quite comfortably with blankets to stay cosy and have a chat and allow us a glance into your personal lives. Thank you
Love the sit down style, and love love the vulnerability and (dare I say) intimacy of the revelation of the psychological / emotional landscape of your relationship. This is what courage and value looks like in people and a progressive channel like this one. Thank you Amanda and Shaye, you give so much to the world through your sharing. Cheers. :)
These two are incredibly articulate. Love them.
I love that you guys are talking about this! Sexuality is so sacred between both parties but having you share just a tad but about your story hopefully will bring awarness to others! Even though you didn’t have to, thank you for sharing! I hope this touches lives and opens peoples eyes!
I found your page from Skyler. I was fascinated by your openness. But as I watch your videos, I become more in awe. The support you give each other & the love you have for each other is inspiring. I am a straight woman in a troubled relationship. We work on it daily. But it is me who usually has to concede. When the other person is comfortable & refuses to recognize that there is an issue it strains the relationship. Amanda, I so admire you for accepting & loving Shaye for who they are. It is truly an act of love & acceptance. Shaye, you are a beautiful person. I know being honest & being who you truly are, has not been an easy road. Keep going girl! You be your best you. Love with all your heart. Live your best life. Be the amazing woman you were meant to be. I have gained strength from watching you both. You make me laugh, think, care & most important give me strength to be authentic self. Thank you!
I have been with my husband for 31 years. As our bodies have changed, so has our intimacy. We look different now. Our hormone levels have changed. Our intimacy is still present, in fact I would say closer than when we first met.
Based on your explanation it sounds similar. You still have intimacy with one another even with the changes you have under gone.
Thanks for sharing! 😊
Y’all’s respect and love for one another is palpable. We are so lucky to hear from y’all about your specific journey. Amanda your perspective on loving Shaye in her truest form is so refreshing. I do relate to you so much when you say, you grew up with male attraction but thought women were beautiful. Two things: I’ve never thought of having sexual relations with women and in all things I champion for every human to be their truest self, so if my husband were to ever present to me that he felt more like another gender I too would hope *they’d* let me venture into that unknown with them. Because my partners soul and happiness is one of the greatest joys of my life. ❤
You guys, I swear.. it is absolutely heart warming to watch both of you. You seem like genuineley such kind people!
When my trans son first "came out" he came out as "lesbian" then eventually he felt more comfortable to be his true self and realized he was trans. I was already a trans advocate and supporter before he came out so I was able to be understanding and be supportive. I have to admit I was confused overall because he never seemed lesbian, He always loved women "as a man" if that makes any sense, he was a male in his essence and so that (being lesbian) confused me. turns out he was actually trans just had not accepted it yet. When I understood the difference between gender and sexuality I understood why he was trans and not lesbian. He is happy and in a great relationship now and I couldn't be happier for him. May we all be happy and well.
What you said about him liking women yet never “seeming lesbian,” and like he liked women “as a man” makes total sense!!! I transitioned ftm, too, and while I’m bisexual, I didn’t even realize I’m attracted to women until after I transitioned - because before I realized I was trans, I intuitively knew “lesbian” didn’t fit me at all, so I didn’t explore my attractions to women. After transitioning, it made a lot more sense.
Amazing!!! You devoted your life to trans people and your child decided to be trans. To bad you didn't support heart surgeons.
what does loving women “as a man” vs “as a woman” and having a “male essence” VS a “womans essence” mean? Because it sounds like you must have rigid ideas about the way men and women can love and relate to the world to believe these are distinct things between the sexes.
@@rachelc6443 I wont go into explanations of what I mean, as your tone says it all, and I believe you get the gist of what I mean. If not that's ok too. I could not explain it in a way you would be "acceptable" for you. So i will save us both the back and forth. But I will tell you that my view is the average view so you are right about having "rigid" views if that is what you want to call it, or "traditional" or "Conservative" . I have had to reevaluate my learned beliefs. I have been thrilled to learn there are many societies (Native Americans) that have 3rd genders or something similar.
I heard an alternative definition of bisexual as being attracted to people of my same gender and people of a different gender. I liked how that was put.
I always used the description that I was more interested in what's between the ears than what's between the legs. 😁
Pansexual wasnt much of a social term when I came out in the 90s-2000s, this is how we always explained it
I just love your story and your willingness to be open. It is so eye opening as to how being truly yourself clearly brings so much happiness!
I am SO impressed by all the learning and self exploration you've embraced. So smart and empowering and enriching to do this for yourselves, and so generous to share!
The sit-down style is a perfect way to convey what you are learning and to model this awesome and fulfilling way to approach life.
Amanda seemed she would cry at any moment.
Sim, ela estava explicando sobre conexões da alma, e como ela se sentia mais próxima agora. Como uma pessoa bissexual (que saiu do armário tarde), eu entendo completamente ela. Fazer sex0 com homem sempre pareceu puramente carnal, e com mulher mais profundo, com muito mais conexão, carinho e afeto. Eu imagino o nó que não deve ser vivenciar esse tipo de coisa com a MESMA pessoa.
Idk, I genuinely think maybe she's just sick because before they even started talking about it, she sounded a little congested lol I think of course there's hard parts to talk about certain things but I also think, unless she was doing some crying prior to getting on screen and managing to stop long enough to do her makeup and not cry it off, this might be a "she has a cold" thing
She sounds congested to me. At first I thought she was on the verge of tears
I think she has a bad cold.
No she just seemed to have a cold really!
Both are tremendous and I so appreciate you addressing these questions with open heartedness and kindness rather than defensiveness (which would be warranted given it’s truly none of our business). BUT I think you do so much good for others who don’t have to feel alone because of you two beautiful humans using your platform to speak openly and honestly. Assuming the best of people - that they are curious - that they are confused - that they are interested - that they too have been shaped by our culture of projection. Every couple has the right and joy of expressing intimacy in the ways that feel organic and loving to them. Thank you so so much for your channel and your hearts.
I love how the both of you call each other MY PERSON no matter what any one says its YOUR MARRIAGE ❤ YOUR CHOICE Thanks for sharing 😊
It's cool to watch the two of you talking so openly and vulnerably about your marriage and how this has changed, yet revealed, how strong your love was in the first place. Obviously it makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Fascinating how binary our culture has been.
If I’m asked for examples of a healthy marriage…I’ll use you two as an example.
I love you guys so much dude- ur openness is so refreshing. Hope you both dont ever feel presure to overshare. I feel like talking about this on ur channel is so rock and roll. Yall r the best.
It's interesting because you guys came from a seemingly straight relationship (straight male and female), but then there was a transition. I just want to say that I have noticed more couples who come from a straight relationship do not last and are not compatible because the other partner is actually still straight. So the trans person is queer, but the other person is still straight. With a situation like this, no matter how you say society has constructed your sexuality, if you are truly straight--it will still not be compatible. And many trans partners force their old partners to be queer just to make sure the relationship and compatibility works. They force their partners to be lesbian or bisexual by saying that they are actually bi, they've just been brainwashed to be straight. This will obviously not work out.
I just want to say, if you are a partner of a trans and you find yourself to be really straight, then it's going to be really impossible to stay with your now transitioned partner. If you are bisexual or queer, it is easier bec you are already into that.
A lot of misconceptions about the trans and wives/husbands is that the transition MAKES the straight partner queer. You hear comments like, "Oh, so I guess you're a lesbian now" to the straight partner. This is not the case. Sexuality is very hard to deconstruct or change. Yes, there can be scale but again if your scale doesn't go towards queerness, it's going to be hard to stay. Most of the time the partners that stay are already in the Queer spectrum and have just accidentally found out when their partner transitions.
Much love for you guys though, I don't mean to disrespect.
The love you have for each other is apparent. The tenderness and respect you show each other warms my heart. It’s delightful how Shay’s eyes sparkle when she talks about you, Amanda. It’s obvious there is an intimate connection between you. Intimate, of course, does not necessarily mean sexual. It is generous of you both to answer the curious.
What I like the most of listening to your channel, is how educated you both are about gender. It is clear that you both took the time to deconstruct social norms around it, question them, dig into academic material, but from the perspective of someone that wants to understand their own skin. It is clear that also you have access to a financial possibility to reach that information. I feel you also aknowledge the priviledge you´ve had as a trans woman with resources, but you are using it to encourage conversations with care and truth. Sending lots of trans love for the two of you and your family.
Your story is so similar to mine and my wife’s story. We were married for 18 years before she came out and began her transition. That was 4 years ago. Since then, we’ve just grown closer and it’s been a beautiful thing to see her be so happy from living authentically. In the beginning, it seemed that I would only hear all the horror stories about couples going through a transition. So, it’s so lovely to see another couple living happily after transition.
It's real ? You are lesbian now?
Thank you both for being so brave, so authentic, in sharing your story. As the mom of a transgender daughter, I am grateful for anyone who helps educate the public in getting to know that transgender people are just like everyone else in so many ways.
Before transition….he/him. You can refer to the person as he in the past tense. Present and future….she/her. You can’t ignore what you used to be
I Love when you said, "You are my person" to Amanda. ❤❤❤
I love your honesty & transparency!! So happy you have each other!! 🕊️
My message is don't lock yourself into categories or labels other people made up which is limiting your own growth. However don't mistaken this as meaning making up many new labels and then being mad or penalize other people who aren't up to date with it, it just mean being authentically yourself.
Earth need more people like amanada. And she deserves all the happiness in world
I have deep respect for your determination to keep healthy boundaries and answer only the questions you want. The rest is nobody's business, as you said. I also loved the treatment you gave to labels which seem to be so necessary for many people. I guess it helps them nail down what is actually a mysterious/confusing realm. What comes through loud and clear is your sophistication, articulation, and deep love for each other. That's gold!
When you are in love with someone, it doesn't turn off. The body changed, the love didn't. I love ya's and truly could care less about your sex life. At the same time, I do understand why people ask. Anyone going through transition as a couple, I'm sure, have concerns. It's so great you speak so honestly.
When your soul is conect each other, nothing matters anymore
Exactly! None of our darn business! The two of you have made it work - period!
Hugs Ladies😊
I find it unbelievably how people you don't even know think they have the right to approach and ask really personal questions when they would never ask those really personal questioned to any other part of society'' They think they have the right. ''Why'' I still can't get my head round these people as it's really rude. It can actually ruin a lovely day or evening out when they do. They don't understand the consequences of the knock-on effect which can last weeks with me. ''All due to someone's inappropriate question. Anyway, looking good girly's. ❤
yeah, its really unbelievable. its the same thing in how people who don't understand or are opposed to trans existence, always attempt to boil it down to body parts, which is so dehumanizing .
Unfortunately there are rude people who think they are entitled to know things and ask really personal weird questions.
Thank your for continuing to share so much of yourselves with us! It’s really beautiful watching this aspect of your lives continue to blossom ❤
My heart just glows listening to you both. Your unconditional love for each other is palatable and simply amazing.
I am in the same boat as Amanda. When I look back I always saw that attraction to woman but always tried not to think that way but now I know I'm bisexual. Thank you Amanda for putting the words to m thoughts. You guys are my heros.
Thank you for being so open and vulnerable with us. I’ve really enjoyed watching ya’ll and your wife’s journey has truly touched me. I love the love ya’ll have for each other.
I absolutely adore you two:). As a lesbian I feel such joy and hope when I listen to you share yourselves. Many thanks for all you are and do:)
I so appreciate you two opening up about things I'd never dare to ask but was curious about.
I usually try and avoid the comment section of videos having anything to do about being trans, because there's usually a lot of horrible comments. But I decided to look at this one and am pleasantly surprised that there are only a couple of negative ones and the rest are all very positive.
You do know comments can be bought
@shireenbegum9166 I know that commenters can be muted.
Many of the ppl watching your channel may be going through something similar and want details they cant find anywhere else. We need to know where to find answers. What happens to a trans woman's boy parts and sexual function? Is it different for an early or late transition? Curious what age Shaye would pick to transition. For example if a boy knows he'll be 6'5" but is now only 5'9", can (s)he begin transition to stop growing, while preserving sexual viability? Never having had children, there maybe the desire to use those parts later, without sperm freezing. So many questions.
google is your friend.
It's up to each trans person/couple if they want to divulge that much personal information. No one owes the public that much information, but I'm sure there are trans people/couples elsewhere that are comfortable sharing that much. It might be worth your time to seek out those channels that are comfortable sharing extremely personal information, and if you can't find any, then I agree with @carolionroar, Google is the next best place to go.
Y’all should try it. It’s a mess of (mis)information.
But I appreciate your efforts by telling me to Google.
Really helpful. Have a better day. 💕
a good doctor might be able to help give these answers, as well as support groups. A good doctor should be the one to help people determine a lot of this stuff, its just sad its not super accessible.
@@ImaDoGToo So you think insisting that someone share extremely personal information with you, a stranger to them, is a better option? Have a day.
i think this life journey for you both, for you all, (family, friends, work buddies, your children), has been/is still being, one of the most epic of ones imaginable 🙌❣️🙌❣️🙌.. and your strength and determination to share it out and communicating all the layers and depths, is deeply sacred historical history for humanity.. it is truly spectacular … and i know i am very grateful .. very supportive
You guys have so much more of a connection than most people i know including me.
I'm always so impressed by your closeness.
“Everything we wanted to cover”. The rest is nobody’s business!! You are absolutely right!!
you guys are so brave and open !!
wishing nothing but love, happiness and health for your family!!! thank you for giving us a peek into your most deep feelings & life!
that emotion coming from her must be amazing, it's a glowing kind ... two people taking steps together against the world's normal notion, still finding that love and security even deeper.
the statement “I felt like I was attracted to you, but not in the male way” made so much sense! I have been trying to figure out why I felt so different once I started processing and deconstructing my gender
I love how Amanda describes her sexuality when she was growing up and younger. It’s kind of like you’re conditioned to it and don’t put much thought into it other than what you’re “supposed to”. She describes exactly how I describe it for myself later in life after I’ve lived and learned about myself.
Love the way you film. Really vulnerable interview!
People come up with many ignorant... and sometimes mean or hateful comments.
😞
Respectfully, can a lesbian have male genitalia? I don’t know. I don’t think so… just on a very basic level, we are talking about hetero sex still.
This is so interesting to me, I don't think I could stay with someone who transitioned...I know attraction is also emotional and if you love that person, he/she stays the same person after transition, but I think i would just feel like I lost my husband and never thought about having a wife so it would be weird. No offense to anyone, It's great that you stayed together and I wish you all the best
Why are you sounding so sad? Sounds like you could cry at any second?
She had a cold. Don’t overthink.
I literally thought that she was devastated
It’s just a guess from my experience coming from a very religious background but talking about anything to do with sex is still very difficult and sometimes traumatic. Even well after a decade of marriage and being free of religion, having conversations with my husband about our intimate life will make me squeamish, tearful, or make my voice shake. I don’t have control of it. Religion can mess you up.
@@donttrustthefey3777 🤦♀️ she had a cold.
@@GameTime-yj6qv clearly she did…..🤦♀️
The most important thing is that you’re wonderful parents and happy! God bless the positivity and happiness in your household. That is what’s important .
Pansexual and bisexual are different. And people who identify as bisexual do not mean to suggest there are only two genders. Pansexual is when you don’t care about the gender of your partner while bisexual is when even thou you are attracted to any gender, you still have preferences.
What if you don't care but still have preferences 🙃
They're both so beautiful! And it is nice to see their bond and friendship on top of all, love following them!
I have a very important question. Are you both happy. My daughter was born male, 😮and she is doing much better now she has started her transition, but we have a long way to go. Her happiness is everything, and it seems to be the most difficult thing to achieve in some people.
I have a trans friend who is only attracted to women... and all of her trans friends are also lesbians. Since gender and s3xu@lity are two separate things, I really don't think trans woman being lesbians is all that uncommon.
I admire Amanda, actually both of them for their deep loving kindness friendship and for their choice to stay together and continue to be guiding parents to their kids❤God Bless!
I love you both! You two are so wonderful and I'm so happy for you. A topic that didn't need to be addressed to please some, but bravo! As a trans woman I'm so grateful for you both sharing your journey and intimate lives. I know it helps all of us. You make us all human. Thank you.
I recently discovered your Instagram accounts and then I watched all your TH-cam videos this week. The love Amanda has for her wife Shaye is so deep. The way Shaye and Amanda go through the transition journey together is so touching. As a cisgender lesbian myself, I almost cried watching your videos. Shaye, you are so beautiful. The love between you and Amanda is so pure and beautiful. Your family is beautiful. Almost too good to be true for queer people like us. Sending love from Hong Kong ❤❤❤
I love your love! So pure 🥺 I’m so happy for you to be able to give each other your 100% authentic selves
I can feel in my chest the soul bond you two have. It is so beautiful 🥹♥️
Did you say Goodbye to your husband?
I wonder how long this relationship is gonna last I think once everything dies down, things are gonna change.
don't know if you have looked into comp het but it was a really eye-opening concept to me. a LOT of women don't realise they can be attracted to women until later in life.
I know this isn't the subject of the video, but wow, I'm really struck by how well Shaye's FFS turned out. She's downright pretty! It's just amazing what's possible these days, and so lucky for her to be alive in a time when it is. I'm really happy for her that it can take away that part of the anxiety of being out.
That smile Shaye gave says it all ❤ Good love ❤
I am amazed by your story of love, loyalty and companionship. I loved the video style and would love if they did more in this style. I have been following you here from Brazil.
You guys are so cool!!! I love how cool and collected Shaye is and I love how animated Amanda is (for example, you move your head around a lot when you speak, which is AWESOME!). I love this couple!
You love each other its so great.
Your relationship is between you and nobody else.
I think that it's inappropriate for people to ask about intimacy in a marriage when it's no one's business. When someone askes me if i'm gay? It frustrates me because my sexuality is not my identity. One of my psych professors on human sexual development stated something that stuck with me she said " sexual orientation isnt who you can have sex with its who you can love".
I love to learn about people all the time. Thank you.
I’m a vegetarian and people ask how I get my protein. What? I don’t understand why people ask about people’s intimate details. Or what their protein intake is!
You are such a blessing to this world (I might repeat myself, but it can't be said too often ❤)
Now I'm convinced Shaye is a lesbian who once proposed to her bride as man. This will make us "rethink" of definition of love.
You are the best! I so appreciate your openness and your courage.
I lost my ex wife after my transition even if I told her that I’m gonna transition 1 year before we married, she had all the time to think about, since I waited 2 more years (3 years total) to jump the cliff! We started losing our couple when my body started to change.. nothing remained after my surgery.. now we are just friends raising our daughter
You 2 humans drew me in with your story. ❤ I haven’t viewed all your videos…..yet. so my apologies if this was already addressed~~I’m curious if Amanda has talked about if she was blindsided by Shaye’s decision to transition or if she had moments in their marriage where she wondered if something was going on with Shaye. I’m assuming Amanda went thru the grief process in some aspect as her world changed too.
And with my nosey comments I just posted for all to see, I will say Shaye’s aura is just super brilliant. It’s so obvious just how at peace she is. I love her constant smile! You have a fascinating story and I’m really glad your family popped up on my
recommendations. Amanda, you are the coolest human (and I’m envious you are a badass behind the sewing machine)
Without a doubt, you 2 are the perfect sample of a deep soul connection ❤ good for you!!! Thank you for sharing your story. ✌️
Like I said before, you two are soul mates! Amanda you are so thoughtful and able to express what you are feeling in away that we can all understand. Shaye has a way of making us smile about the discomfort of the subject at hand,lol, but certainly can articulate her inner thoughts as well. I can't think of two better people to help all of us understand that love is love.❤️👍
Thank you!
the happiness and love you two have for each other and your family is literally glowing out of your skin. ❤❤
Okay I'm obsessed with the way Shaye looks at Amanda 😍😭
Absolutely adore the two of you! Thank you for sharing your life and all it's changes. I look forward to all your future posts, have a wonderful week!
you two are so totally cool and interesting. I think you each lucked out in the conversation department. I am a little jealous of how easily you get into deep honest communication--totally cool!
There's so much love in their eyes 😍 they're both so happy 🥰
Thank you for this video, you really didn’t have to address this and not even all straight couples are sexually compatible in the same way. Wish you all the best.
I love that Amanda chose to use this transition as an opportunity to show unconditional love ❤️
How have your kids accepted it?
I don't think you can find intimacy without being your authentic self. Love you both!
Amanda at the end, trying to sound tough, oh you just make me laugh! I get the soul connection between the two of you and I never sensed Shaye was attracted to men, before or after the transition. Perhaps I am like many out there who don't understand the "how" of going from a hetero to queer sex life because I simply have not experienced it. Amanda makes a really good point about how relationships change over time which is why I always wondered if you mourn the previous physical connection you had, especially because you have three wonderful kids! Shaye explained that she can now show up fully in your intimate relationship which makes me wonder, Shaye do you think if you had a child now you would experience birth, etc differently? You two are helping SO many folks out there to understand transitioning and gender identity in so many ways, and I thank you for sharing you life so I can learn to be a better human.