How To Win An Argument Against 99% Of People
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ต.ค. 2019
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Sometimes arguments can get heated and spiral out of control. So while we all want to win an argument, not making an enemy in the process can be even more important.
Which is why today we’ll be looking at Trevor Noah and what you can learn from him about coming out of verbal scruffs not only on top, but looking cool calm and collected.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:28 - #1: Sub-communicate that you're not there for a fight.
3:46 - #2: Ask questions instead of making statements.
6:39 - #3: Confidently defend yourself without coming across as antagonistic.
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#TrevorNoah #CharismaOnCommand
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i feel like im researching how to become a human
edit: ty for the likes guys that's insane!
Welcome to philosophy, you will regret it haha
Actually you’re researching into how to interact with hypersensitive co-humans that are unable to hear a whole argument but react in any word that they dislike as if you engage in a real behaviorist experiment
@@elenap.9897 (And that's the moment I can feel my ears growing points... LLAP)
That's my exact emotion, you nailed it.
I deal with verbal debates often and I do all the things that turn a debate into an argument and I'm trying to stop my impulse to get louder and talk faster. I think its instinctive to do such things because when someone doesn't see your point of view, people often feel personally attacked. Learning these techniques are important for interacting intellectually with others. I don't think it's inhumane to get louder or continue in an aggressive manner (actually those techniques are used in professional debating all the time). I just feel like there's a calmer way to get your point across.
“You must recognize that you do not know any individual’s beliefs, simply by knowing one of their affiliations.” 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
As much as I'd like this to be true, I kinda disagree with it. Unfortunately knowing someone's affiliations does, in practice, predict a wide range of their beliefs. In US-centric terms, if you know that someone "is a Democrat", it's highly likely that they're pro-choice, believe in man-made climate change, think racism is America's biggest problem, etc. And if someone "is a Republican", it's the inverse on all of those things. This isn't because either Democrats or Republicans are "unintelligent" or "uneducated" or "evil" or anything, it's because humans are a social species and affiliations are *everything* - more important that truth anyway.
But *acting as if* knowing someone's affiliations do not predict their beliefs is probably as good a way as any to work against this "social chunking", by picking at the small differences that distinguish individuals from their affiliation-derived belief clusters.
@@bpj1805 True. And a lot of times, even if you know the broad strokes of someone's viewpoint, you may not know the finer points and motivations, and those are really important.
Like, I wouldn't call myself a feminist, not these days. and if someone saw I voted Conservative (I'm Canadian lol) and assumed that I'm not feminist cos of that affiliation, they'd be right. But if they then assumed that because I'm not feminist, I think the views or needs of women aren't important, or that women are less valuable than men, or some such thing, they'd be very wrong.
You must recognize that you do not know ALL of an individual's beliefs simply by knowing one of their affiliations.
@@bpj1805 what i miss in this, is either sides opinions on school, handicaped, LGBTQIA and so on - in these matters some might find common ground on either side - and the point also is to find common ground as the affiliation "one or the other" is 1 affiliation that describes much but still not all - i hope i did not step on anyone's toes and such - just taking into account everything you told me, though i have a very little grasp of this as i am from Scandinavia with a whole other mentality and way of life (1 key thing is "Jante loven - the law of Jante" stating that the culture up here is to let everyone know that we are equal, from the blacksmith to the queen, also mening no one is better simply by being =)
Deymilichaba it’s why we should loathe labels and being pigeonholed. Happy to see the shout out for this sentiment.
"Here we do not argue to win, we discuss to understand." - amazing teacher I had.
Wouldn't it be so cool if arriving at the truth was the aim of debate? Props to your teacher
Yah. Only works when your "opponent" is open for that.
@@JonathanVachon777 you are not wrong, but the fact you understand it is a victory for me
Great quote.
1. Slow down
Take deep breath before you speak
2. His inflections
3. The ability to crack a joke
You need to be willing to take a joke
4. Ask questions instead of statements
5. Try to stateback their beliefs
6. Questions that probe for inconsistencies in beliefs in a non acuusatory way
7. Confidently defend yourself without coming across as antagonistic
You need to know specifically where you agree with someone and where you don't
1. You're not necessarily right
2. Adjusting your beliefs doesn't diminish you
3. It's never because they are evil it's because they are ignorant
thank you!
They might not actually be evil, but their willful ignorance is still highly irritating. 😂
Thank you!
Your ability to count is non-existent
That last part is wrong. It's rare but some people are just evil.
"The goal of argument is not to be right, it's to get it right." I like that a lot.
Aagaye comment section mein gyaan chodne
That's so right..atleast for the participants.
Jesus Christ is God
The goal of an argument is not to convince the person you are debating, rather the audience..
If you’ve taken the time to understand them and “they’re STILL wrong, it’s almost never because they are evil. It’s because they are somehow ignorant.” …or you are!
TH-cam recommending this to be prepared for holidays with the fam.
S C hahahaha
Felt that
Corona* lol
Fast forward to now, this is a good video because of the quarantine or else we woulda killed each other by now lol jk
YES
Personally, I have found a little strategy that has worked well for me over the years. If I find myself "losing an argument" or suddenly realizing I'm wrong, or going up against someone who definitely has an edge over me in his argument (by being more informed on the topic), I will blurt out "Gee, I never thought of it that way," or "Wow, you know, I think you're right" or even "your expertise on this subject is amazing . . . perhaps I need to rethink my position or modify it." Boom. Instantly the stress is gone. I no longer have to defend my (apparently wrong) opinion. The tension disappears . . . and as a huge bonus, the other person will usually start to back track and defend me or my opinion a little bit. The other person might say "Well, you're not that far off, and I worked in the field for a few years, so I picked up some pointers." The other person often will start to defend you and your position, maybe even qualifying his/her own opinion! It's remarkable, really. Plus, they usually feel that you're a nice person, open to new ideas. It's kind of counterintuitive, but it really works well.
Humility
Until you come across someone that will put the boot in and say something like “I knew you were being moronic all along”.
Wow.. This is going to be my Mantra..
I tried this yesterday in a religious discussion, but I wanted to end the conversation, but what happeneed is the ither guy started defending some of my points. Lol it was the weirdest thing
@@michaeltrevor7156 😀
If everyone would ask themselves, “What if I’m wrong or misinformed?” we’d see positive progress. This requires pushing the ego aside, and a willingness to arrive at the truth… sadly, it’s rare.
Excellent comment. My ego really got ahead of me, and I'd get angry and argumentative. Needless to say, it was never productive. I've learned so much more by asking the person I disagreed with what their thoughts were and how they arrived at them. How quickly the doors of knowledge and friendship opened!
@@glowgirl8171 congratulations, you’re one of the few who seeks knowledge instead of “being right”. 👍
2 Timothy 3 👌
@@jsf8145 yes, it reads: But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.(A) 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money,(B) boastful, proud,(C) abusive,(D) disobedient to their parents,(E) ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous,(F) rash, conceited,(G) lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God- 5 having a form of godliness(H) but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.(I)
***
Whether or not a person is Christian, the same principles apply. Thank you for sharing.
Hard to do with the I do my own research crowd.
"The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion." - G. K. Chesterton
You really out here quoting Chesterton? You wanna get married?
@@Rilkir what why?
@@Rilkir Maybe she just liked that quote.
I thought i was unique in knowing the difference.... aww
@@jlupus8804 What? No
I disagree that using the Socratic method won't offend people; Socrates himself managed to piss off a whole city simply by asking questions
Was killed for this infact.
@@simon5785 He chose the death penalty over being banished voluntarily to make his point. That's commitment, eh?
It may offend people but it works brother. It is not what you say it is how you say it that is important.
How you ask the question is important brother.
If I had to say one thing that would be be curious about people and don't be judgmental you don't know who is going through what.
If people get offended get them back say sorry, be more understanding. You will learn great communication skills I can say this from experience.
The Breakdown in this video basically has this underlying mindset.
Trevor is always fully present in any discussion. That’s is the key to great communication.
Exactly, he actually listened to what the person said, which allows for a fully thoughtful answer. Instead of just being in his head thinking of the next thing he’s going to say. It takes a realness that most are not able or willing to be.
Thanks. Only yesterday I watched this clip and today I was in a situation where I almost said something nasty, on the tip of my tongue already. Then I remember you saying "how to win an argument without making an enemy", I took a deep breath and came up with a bring-together joke. Thank you again.
I don’t agree with Mr. Noah on everything, but I will say his communication skills are incredible. I definitely respect him.
O faithful oh you would be surprised. Looked out the window lately at how people can like someone but the very second that person says something they disagree with, then all hell breaks out. So that was just my point. You can still like someone though you don’t alway agree. Just like Noah does. He disagrees with many people, yet he stays respectful and kind. Very rare thing to see in this day and age... Sorry for my poor English. I’m danish.
@@kubel83 I think its kinda cool how he (Trevor) gained so much in America through coming from South Africa, and to me the English (yours) is superb, however I'm Danish too so i might not understand those nuances that could be misconstrued ;-)
@O faithful I hear you, his comment might have been easy to misinterpret, but your comment was unnecessarily aggressive and your approach to voice disagreement wasn't very respectful.
@O faithful I really like Trevor Noah and agree with him probably almost always. But as long as people are respectful it is okay for them to disagree. You are just very rude... which makes it seem like you have nothing to back your opinion up, even though there would be a lot to do so. So you wouldn't have to be rude about it... but oh well I know you don't care and it's none of my business but since we are all allowed to comment our opinions, just like you did, I will do so as well.
@O faithful Yeah, it doesn't matter really what some random guy on youtube thinks, but this video is about creating a friendly dialogue with those who have opposing viewpoints. Are you sure you're putting those points into practice here?
Discussions are always better than arguments
Because an argument is to find out who is right
And a discussion is to find out what is right
Abu Huraira - Well put. I like that.
Well said Abu!!!
That's coz right and wrong are subjective and u need to put forth good arguments so that people can align one way or another.
It is the other way around
For me, a fight has a winner and a loser; an argument is to argue to reach a conclusion or a point where both of them agrees on a solution or both of them are going to have a mid point where they both have to comprise something and gain something equally, and a discussion is a specific & educated/knowledgeable chat.
I am so proud of myself that the asking questions part came to me naturally. It was a result of being unable to win arguments😄
lol same here
One of the hardest things to do, is to be ready to change your own mind.
how to annoy ur sibling: talk normal while ur sibling is shouting the're head off in a argument so it makes them seem even more crazy
I hate the accuracy of this.
*YES*
my sister does this with me n it works 😂😂
I do that all the time my little sister hates me nowadays😌
😂😂😂 truth!!
Cracking a joke is hard when you’re frustrated isn’t easy. Taking a joke when you’re frustrated is even tougher.
so true, most people get overwhelmed by their ego when they feel frustrated, so I think the last mindset mentioned in this video is especially helpful in this situation, no one is evil, they're just somehow ignorant
Which is why people have to learn to discuss things without involving their own emotions. It's very possible and an important part of the Socratic Method.
Watching this video made me become aware of the fact that by engaging in many arguments/discussios/debates over the years, I simply "fell" into the Socratic Method once I realized all of these principles mentioned in the video without being aware that it was an actual method. It's much easier to do when you pull your emotions out of the conversation. We tend to have very little self-control.
Tyler Yan. Feeling passionate about something doesn’t necessarily make you ignorant.
Bria Thomas that’s the trick isn’t it? Not becoming emotional about things you feel strongly about.
This is by far one of the best video's I have ever seen. This has helped me immensely whenever I am in an argument. Thank you so much.
I practice questioning everything, including (perhaps especially) myself. I find this helps me try to understand others points of view more deeply.
“cracking jokes will help to cool things down”
Me: Knock Knock ...
Who's there
@@HeyitsBri_ *BANG*
@@kenshobuq7105 bang who?
firetruck
This should have like 1k likes
I really admire Noah’s interviewing skills. He can break through people’s barriers in a way that few can.
Trevor is brilliant, progressive, hilarious and grounded. Not only One of my favourite comedians, one of the most important people in media I've seen in my life.
I disagree with most of his opinions, but he does really well in debates and discussions.
@@reversed5552 he seems like a nice guy in the way he talks to people. I disagree with him a lot too but he seems cool
@@JakeKoenig A progressive person is a person that's not traditional. In other words, someone who advocates for social reform. There is nothing hilarious about it. It's something all societies need because we are 7billion people who live in very distinct conditions and will VERY likely disagree forever.
Not traditional is not the definition of progressive. Most conservatives are non traditional and trump was non traditional do you think Trump was a progressive?
@@fritolaid6805 he's progressive. Controversial as any progressive person. Nobody pleases everybody
I communicate with dozens of people a day and even though I use different techniques go get my working day to be constructive, I accept as an undeniable reality that I can be proven wrong from time to time. Recognising that is critical to growth as a person, regardless of age, creed, gender, life experience, etc. The video is spot-on about getting to know and understand your interlocutor. As a good friend of mine said: “listening is more important that talking, that’s why we have two ears and one mouth.”
"You're worse than Hitler"
"Yes, BUT..."
I choked on my coffee and now everything around me is a mess. Thanks mate.
@@natnaeltsige7070 LMFAO
Hahahaha laughing by myself here.
I always try to refrain from saying "yes, but" haha. It can make a situation a lot worse
@@FridaJo_ I can do because using only "Yes, but" and then proceed to elavorate your point is vague and doesn't adds anything to the discussion. If you can point out - and reassure - the Why in the Yes, then that changes it's whole intention.
Summary:
1. Subcommunication
Communication style
a) slow, soft speaking; don't get heated
b) slowing situation: take a breathe to calm situation
c) jokes; particular words picked out, 'not all bad guys' etc reduce demonising other side. Take jokes also
2. Ask Questions
a)-better understanding of their side of the argument
-curiousity
-not patrionising
-don't k indv's belief via affiliations
-state their beliefs back to them: grasp understanding
b) Questions probing for inconsistencies in non-accusatory way
--
'Socratic Method'
i) understand ppl's positions best you can
ii) frame disagreements in the form of qu.s
-other person less cornered/offended
Reverse Position, unfair?
-Confidently defend yourself w/out being antagonistic
'Yes, but' ; agreement (ego's personalised) - recoginised value
-recognise ppl normally have positive intentions
-know specificially where disagree/don't. Identify 'hidden-premises' : unspoken assertions baked in a qu/statement
-root out issue
+ use their premise w/in your argument if possible
--
Mindset
1. You're not always right in arguments, conditioning is majority of views. Accuracy of W comes from understanding others
2. Adjusting beliefs, doesn't diminish YOU. "Goal not to be right, to get it right."
3. Ppl w/out 'right' views not evil, ignorant?
Nice notes
Add no 3 before reverse position
Thank you for this!
I always lose
you just saved me 30 min on a response to this video for my class
As someone who's working on with his Phd in social studies and practicing in Psychology, your channel is a gem.
Working on with his PhD?
Trevor is such an incredible interviewer. We need more people like him on all sides of the spectrum to help open people's minds and put a stop to the aggressive division that is taking place in our country. Very few people can even have a respectful conversation with someone who has different views anymore and I think it's a very dangerous trend.
“cracking a joke helps diffuse the situation”
*”How about another joke, Murray...?”*
Oh god that scene was so tense that is still haunts me
What do you get when you..... and so on Yadda yad "Bang"
Underrated reply!!! 👍👍👍
..."no, i think we have had enough jokes..."
Genius lol
I hope the person I'm about to argue with doesnt watch this video
Shashank Bidkar that doesn’t seem too bad, now both sides can be calm and collected
@@glumplum5219 awesome point man... appreciate that!!
The point of an argument isnt to win. But come to an understanding
@@hammer12482 but it's either what you are convincing or what the other guy is convincing. So even when you come to a point of understanding, only one guy wins.
@@shashankbidkar6582 not necessarily. Sometimes winning is just understanding both sides have points right or wrong. Ever argued with a woman about an ideal house temperature? Some people like it hot some cold. Neither is right. But understanding is a compromise to keep it hot at day and cold at night.
Great video! Thanks for using your TH-cam channel to advocate for critical thinking and challenging your own ideas.
I enjoy talking about philosophical and political topics with others for that reason (to test my beliefs/knowledge) and to work on my own debate/discussion skills of staying calm and fostering a positive engagement instead of attacking or being overly defensive. It's a very difficult thing to do and does not come naturally; It requires study and practice.
WOW!! I read the Berkeley professors book (George Lakoff) on why people think right or left but THIS is a way to bring them closer together. I immediately love Trevor when I first heard him, but dissecting how he naturally creates easier dialogue is AMAZING!
Easiest way to avoid argument : *"Don't talk to humans"*
I've tried that, but it's not that easy
Ah, sometimes I wish I could manage that.
I often hear humans are social creatures...Yeah sure 😒
Sounds like you've never argued with a dog before
Ahh, *bold of you to assume I even talk*
@@tdelfino2509 actually I have
😂😂
"People's egos get caught up with their argument."
How do I loose my ego?
It's not even an argument otherwise.
@@kleshayer3751 You don't
@@dontlookatmyvideoREE nice advice
@@kleshayer3751 You're asking the wrong question. It should be, "How do I make sure that my ego doesn't get caught up in my argument?" And the answer is two things. First, a mindset shift. Don't think of an argument as mental sparring, but as you trying to learn what is right and the process of you gaining understanding. Secondly, practice. Practice the tactics used in the video, and practice calmness and patience during an argument. It will be difficult at first, but it will get easier the more you do it.
I loved the Trevor Noah interview with her. I was thoroughly impressed with his demeanor. I'm glad I found this video. Thanks for posting!
I was really needing this video as I get hurt if I am told wrong due to my unbalanced ego. Now, I knew the truth as to how to make arguments non-hurting.
The Socratic Method is not effective when:
1. The person you are speaking with has severe cognitive dissonance.
2. The person you are speaking with is not actually listening, but is just waiting for their turn to attack.
3. The person you are speaking with is not willing to have a genuine conversation.
4. The person you are speaking with is a master of misinformation, propaganda, and logical fallacies.
5. The person that you are speaking with does not have the intelligence or empathy to understand any point of view except their own.
6. The person that you are speaking with is a psychopath and/or a pathological liar.
But that's only certain and specific situtautions. For every other situation it should work
YES
@@jamingrythm584 Everyone has a little cognitive dissonance, apathy, and insanity. So it's not really a matter of whether the Socratic Method will work or not. It's a matter of the degree that it will or will not work.
2-6 describe many news reporters and journalists these days.
7. The persons name rhymes with Blonald Gump
When Trevor has someone on the show that he doesn’t agree with politically he still acts cordial and treats them with respect and as a guest instead of as an enemy
That isn't true and you know it.
@@isaacfaith9369 Didn't he treat Tomi Lahren with respect? If there is a person he disrespected, could you please tell me who that is so I can go check it out lol.
@@thabokgwele5268 No, he was snarky. Laughing under his breath at her. He also wasn't looking her in the eyes while talking to her or making his points, which is condescending body language.
@@ericstaples7220 that sounds more like your interpretation of it. Breaking eye contact often happens when you're trying to focus on something, in this case a point in the discussion and the laughing was to defuse the situation
@@shamrock141 Yes, there are lots of reasons to turn your eyes away in a conversation. If your eyes move upwards, you are accessing your memory. If you move them downwards briefly, you are being shy or insecure. If you are simply moving your eyes to the side, you are rolling your eyes and being dismissive of the person you are talking to, as Trevor Noah does.
He is the perfect example for this video. He's such a class act. He does flawlessly all the things I cannot do 😆
No. No he’s not. Lol. Dude is a total POS
....yet
Debate Class should never have been removed from our schools. As sophisticated and evolved we assume to be, we have only regressed at the art of discussion.
Saying "Yes, however..." has always far more effective the making your opposite number less defensive than "Yes, but...." in my humble opinion.
Yes I agree. However, the discussion on the video on this technique was emphasizing finding a point or points of agreement, then hopefully being able to state your opposing views. Not just a "Yes, but....." flat out response. Don't you think? ;-)
@@Kayenne54 Yes, I agree. However... I see what you did there...
The diction isn't necessarily what is so important,. rather, the intent. "yes, but" is a concept, not a script.
@@studentlogan perfect summary. Thank you Logan!
Some NOTES here
1. SUB-COMMUNICATE THAT YOU AREN'T THERE FOR A FIGHT: If you try to argue then no matter how good you are your point won’t be well received.
Solution is A. to slow things down: It reduces the tension and opens up the other person with his perspective. Take a deep breath as you are about to speak.
B. Inflection: Upward inflections are excellent in de-escalating conflict. This indicates that you are not trying command them.
C. Ability to crack a joke: This relieves some tension when you are debating self believes and brings more constructive outcome. But make sure you should be willing to take a joke too.
2. ASK QUESTIONS INSTEAD OF MAKING STATEMENTS: This comes as less confrontation than statement provided that they are not provocative accusatory questions.
A. Genuine questions: Ask and then try to state back to them their own beliefs in your words
B. Questions that probe for inconsistencies in beliefs in a non-accusatory way: This is kind of socratic method.
3. CONFIDENTLY DEFEND YOURSELF WITHOUT COMING ACROSS AS ANTAGONISTIC: The best method for this is ‘yes, but’. First you agree & build upon the statement other person made and then to make your argument you create but statement
Mindset that concludes all these together:
1. You are not necessarily right
2. Adjusting your beliefs, doesn’t diminish you
3. Its never because they are evil
As always my passion is to share summaries like started doing it on my channel with PDF summaries🙌
My favorite one was ask question instead of making statement✌
Success Wheels this is what I do for a lot of CoC videos ! Thank you for doing this summary for us very useful !
Success Wheels 👏👏👏😊
@@juanbonilla1006 smart!! I hope it works great for you.
4. Have a sweet British-sounding accent like him. :p
It's shrimp in a bag! Lol indeed
I approach arguments as disagreements. I feel a argument has a aggressive connotation so I avoid aggression & let the person know we're just sorting out disagreements & trying to learn from each other
Ironic this comes in my mentions the last day Trevor is on the Daily Show. He truly is one of the worlds best all around speakers
Yes. Because the whole world speaks English doesn't it.
His nice south african accent makes him more likeable
As someone who's seen/met Trevor in person, he always acts this way. He's so charismatic and kind. May sound weird but he's the most non-threatening person I've ever seen (in a good way).
We used to watch his stand up in South Africa before he went global he was always hilarious making fun of all of us
@@anwaaribrahim2892 i got so lucky bc he came to speak at my university :) it was amazing and i'm so grateful !
If only his brains matched his attitude.
@@MisterHeroman Yeah I agree... his brains are even better than attitude, the knowledge he commands is truly beyond what your deluded mind can handle.
@@manswind3417 Other way around, sweaty.
Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
It takes more effort, but it's a successful strategy.
Michael Ricks-Aherne boom 7 habits!
Andrew yang
@@BlackPatriot1776 I have spent my life that way. It is often unrewarded..almost always in fact..lacking some kind of leverage, financial being the preferred in the US at most social levels.
Think Critically keep it going. Your social interactions will keep improving since you now have clarity and can effectively communicate your position.
@@BlackPatriot1776 On the contrary, I am almost entirely ostracized. Were I in charge of peoples paychecks, or were I to pretend there is no answer or that their position is correct it would absolutely be otherwise. The problem is, as I have said elsewhere, a lack of morality is what is rewarded in our system not the presence of communication or intelligence, except baseline degrees, marginally above average is more than sufficient. This probably sounds offensive.. but then that's the problem isn't it?
As a South African I am so proud to see the way Trevor communicates his points and the way he genuinely makes me reevaluate my opinions. And his comedy talks about things I wonder about all the time. Even though there might be things I'm not sure I agree on, I stand behind him. Big ups.
Perhaps, but I think he's an unfunny race-baiter, but we are all intitled to our opinions, eh?
It is very, very simple. In a conversation you have two choices: react or respond. Depending on which of the two you choose, the results will follow. If you react, it will soon degenerate. If you respond you will come off as cool, calm and collected. And more importantly, you will be able to get your actual point across and make your mark.
Very true. There's a little catch though: in order for ppl to respond instead of react, they'd have to listen first. Most ppl however are already busy with their own reaction, which means they're not really listening anymore.
I love that Trevor was used as the example, I’ve always admired his argument style and him as a person in general!
His arguments on racism being involved in many cases like Daunte's death seems almost completely baseless. I have trouble believing he's being genuine and not appealing to an audience.
That's really sad.
You mean a Pathetic being? Lol
00000 p0 0ppppppp0ppppppo
@@seankrkovich2869 His claims might be a little inaccurate but it was definitely wasn't completely wrong, his point on there are people that have biases towards a certain group of people either good or bad wasn't innacurate it was quite factual believe it or not
Trevor could definitely sell ice to the Eskimos.
"Eskimos" don't like being called "Eskimos" as it is considered a derogatory term. They prefer being called "Inuits" or that particular tribe of which they are from. I learned that from visiting Norway 😁
But yes, Trevor definitely could sell ice to an Inuit.
Terry B You are so right. I clicked on this because I saw him in the thumbnail.
@A Google User “You must recognize that you do not know any individual’s beliefs, simply by knowing one of their affiliations.” Trevor does not promote socialism. Calm down and watch his clips.
I had no opinion of him before I heard him on Howard Stern recently. Now, I think he's pretty awful.
I have intuitively learned how to do this as I live in with multiple ppl and sometimes the abundance of different personalities can often cause a clash in our who handle things. Cultivating these skills, especially speaking lowly and slowly, has become one of my greatest strengths and deescalating agreements
This is how I love to speak-I have found, however, that not many others have the capacity to do so.
Proverbs 23:9, "do not speak in the ears of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words.”
Thanks very powerful verse
@@sphephelonombikangcobo285 yep i say it any time in an argument, or when an argument occurs.
@@WorstSpieler Except you're just going to offend someone because this will be counted as a direct personal attack.
@@onyxgan9923 yeah that usually happens, but people agree with it, even the people on the other side.
I'm not Christian but there's some truth to it
this is my favorite argument technique. thank you for breaking it down!
i remember this clip i saw of a trevor noah interview where the interviewer asked him if he believed trump is a white supremacist, and he replied with “i don’t know if trump is a white supremacist but i do know that he has retweeted white supremacists on his twitter account, i do know that he has personally said he doesn’t want black people involved with the running of his business, etc”.
instead of jumping to conclusions and leading with his personal opinion, he states simple facts that can easily be proved or disproved. the emphasis is not on what he believes to be true, but on what he knows to be true. this makes him sound much more reasonable and much harder to strawman. his implicit message was that he believes that trump supports white supremacists and holds beliefs that are in line with white supremacy, but instead of saying that himself he simply presented his evidence and let the audience come to their own conclusion.
this struck me as a really clever way to make a bold claim without coming off as ridiculous or reactionary. whether or not you agree with trevor noah’s views on trump this is a very effective method of arguing, especially when the person you’re debating with is using the socratic method
When did trump say that about black people
@@dogsdreamtoo8427 Never, but that never stops anyone from making it up. For Trevor to have said, "I know he said this" is an incredibly bold statement as I would bet quite a bit that has not said that.
Trevor is amazingly bright, insightful and quick at it.
Hey, I stumbled upon this channel and loved it. Most informative 👌. Thank you 😊
Love Trevor Noah. In his book he described a lot of situations where he had to talk his way out of bad situations.
As someone with Aspergers, I cannot thank you enough for this analytic (and well illustrated!) explanation for what I was doing wrong in my arguments 😅
I already have the disadvantage of not seeing when I'm stressing out the other person (especially when I KNOW, I'M RIGHT), and only catch up when they're extremly upset with me 🤦🏻♂️
Now I have learned some useful skills to de-escalate debates 🕺
Yes!🙌🏾
Relatable. Also I don't judge people based on their beliefs, I can respect pretty much everyone, unless you are deliberately hurting people or promoting such behaviors. All I want to do is have a debate that's gonna challenge my and the other person's beliefs so we can both grow as people. But like idk sometimes people seem personally attacked because you respectfully disagree with them, and/or will attackyou for having opposing views. And sometimes they'll attack you for stating facts and statistics while offering no scientific proof in return and I'm like why. Idk man humans are sometimes so illogical and definitely a lot of times exhausting.
Everybody is a bit of an aspie in an argument. We all need to learn the same lessons.
@@JOHN----DOE please don't say everyone is a little bit aspie, as it can sound like the disability is not that big of a deal, which is very close to ableism.
I assume you have the best intentions, and wanted to be inclusive.
People with Aspergers/ASD have some parts of their brain differently developed, and even if we are high functioning, life can be more challenging for us. I have to memorize every facial expression and tone change for every new person I meet to be able to not distress them without knowing.
A lot of my senses are more sensitive, and everything feels like it's on top volume all the time.
And let me just not even bring up how meltdowns and shutdowns feel from the inside as a sound adult...
(if you would use the same rethoric for physically disabled people, it would be obvious why is it silly..."Everyone has to use a wheelchair sometimes!" or "Everyone has one leg sometimes!" it wouldn't make sense, so it does not for mental disabilities or other non-visible struggles)
People with disability don't need this type of inclusion, we need social awareness about our struggles, so people stop expecting us to bend over backwards just to pass as "normal". Thank you.
Don't take this comment personally, I just wanted to make it clear why the sentence is insensitive without a dragged out comment war.
What I wanna know is how to stay relaxed and calme when they start yelling and interrupting you as someone with anxiety
Noah is a treasure. America is so incredibly lucky that he's come here to share a wisdom and intelligence that's extremely rare.
*One extra tip* not to make enemies:
Being right is important, second to that is *allow your opponent to save their face* , leave an escape hatch for them to swing by your side.
Hope it helps!
Tristan Tries an example might be: “and although we find your view my be wrong, I can see why you thought that and I respect where you’re coming from”
@@elijahblough2450 spot on!
Actually, don't. Only dishonest people need to be "allowed to save their face" and "an escape hatch for them to swing by your side". Honest people would instantly admit they were wrong once they recognize it, irrelevant of your opinion or attitude about it, simply because that is REALITY and they have now successfully identified it. You don't want dishonest people around you so...good riddance. And yes, you'll get rid of probably 95%+ of people. That's not bad, it is good - you need only high-quality people. Just meet more people in the right demographic. Find better circles.
@@exnihilonihilfit6316 I think you're making it black and white without going over the different grey areas that are relationships. Humans are constantly driven by emotions, and emotions are temporary, therefore making people's behavior based on a time frame. And we are not only driven by emotions, we could add ego/unconsciousness/pain bodies whatever you want to call it. Yet, it's not the people. It's their response to the environment.
If being right is important, then anything else is either not important or of less importance = you do not care about those who are in the wrong as they are not in the right.
Therefore, not being in the wrong is what is important for then if/when you are in the right, you do not care about it.
Cheers.
*The person who is the most persuasive, is not necessarily the most correct.*
O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me ok, cool
Case and point, Ben Shapiro
Dude can't I watch a video without seeing you 😭😭 Graham Stephan grant cardone cnbc meet Kevin alux better men
Here's ossein the master spammer with his useless comments
he's also on Coach Red Pill, Alexander Grace & at least a couple of others not mentioned here so far but I'm not sure which ones of the many I follow were they :)
BEING LOUD, is the key to winning any argument! LEARNED THIS ON THE SPRINGER SHOW DECADES AGO!!
Yes! Always discuss the nuances of each issue as opposed to just right vs left (tribal politics) or cult-of-personality politics which is insane on a rational level.
"How to win an argument without making enemies"
Socrates: *gets executed because he made enemies*
Socrates was executed because he wouldnt apologise
@@peggyesterhuizen4207 He was executed because hes too cool
@@thinginground5179 He was executed because he was an scp.
@@ButWhyMe... an scp?
@@ButWhyMe... what's an SCP?
Honestly Trevor's history is an amazing insight into his personality. I recommend you all read Born a Crime. It shows all the hardship that Trevor had to navigate, and the fact that he managed to keep such a positive outlook and such a calm demeanor coming out the other side of his life is incredible.
Hardship 😂😂😂😂 that's funny. If you spoke to poor South Africans, they speak a different type of English. His mom invested in his education.
@@mancube7645 Trevor did not necessarily grow up dirt poor, but he grew up as a coloured man during apartheid. That's definitely more hardship than I've ever had to deal with in my life, so yeah I stand by my statement. Read his book
Matt S-J, he literally ate worms as a child because there was no food. His father, however, was a well-to-do white man.
@@mancube7645 wow hardship olympics
He has a script, moron
I’ve GOT to start role playing this so I’m ready for the real discussions! And, hey, if u ever need to show a video of everything NOT to do, I’ll record my parents and I talking about politics!
I totally use the socratic method all the time. It doesn't work online. When people realise you got them cornered, they'll claim you misrepresented them four statements back, and you were just too daft to realise. Or they simply won't even understand (or claim to understand) when you caught them contradicting themselves. Or they'll accuse you of gaslighting them.
But this is a good reminder to make & take jokes, and to control your voice.
10:25..."The goal of argument is not to be right, it's to get it right."
That's why i love trevor noah, he's real smart inside but keep it cool and humble!!!
This is so good !! I'm dealing with a high conflict person who always seems to find fault in the smallest thing.
Their questions and statements seem to be loaded ..I'm so busy trying to analyse what they are saying or implying ....while trying to explain and defend my point of view.
It's s group situation....I find myself looking around to see if anyone realises what is happening. It is so challenging to manage her.
Have you discussed this separately with team members? Like what their thoughts are on the situation? It doesnt seem fair that you personally would have to take on that responsibility to manage for the whole group.
“A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still” -Ben Franklin
Me: *cracks a subtle joke to break the tension in an arguement*
My mom: "How dare you speak to your mother like that!" Respect your elders!
😑
Same bud
But do the elders respect the children?
@@Unicysis ikr
@@Unicysis They feel respect is something earned by their status as an elder. It used to be that way in the very primitive ages - before we invented agriculture, I mean. Even then, we had the "respect your elders" mindset. It made sense - the elders were the most valued people of the tribe because they knew the most. Today, simply being older does not translate to being smarter or being more deserving of respect, but this biological wiring that we have developed is still present. Truth is never enough just as being good at conversations is also never enough. The "respect your elders" argument comes from an authority, as in, it is a direct order by said authority. And you cannot reason with them. And because of how this idea came to be, it is nearly impossible to convince anyone about how wrong it is once they become old enough to use it. At least that's my theory on it, feel free to tell me yours 🙂
Don’t show respect to those who neither show, nor deserve it
“The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress.”
―Joseph Joubert
School doesn't teach them that
Brilliant
Always remain calm! If you have mastery over your own emotions, that's half the battle to being heard. Some people are simply inconsolable and are determined to be aggressive and angry, but if you keep yourself from being provoked...people tend to respond well to that if you hold your ground in that fashion.
Calm and collective doesn’t take away that he is wrong, misinformed, and a little sarcastic
'use "yes, but..."'
*proceeds by showing an example of Noah saying "no, but"*
I think it is still "yes but". His no seems to be because he wasnt pausing like before not that he really disagreed with the point of him splitting hairs. If it were then he wouldnt go on to say in his next line "that is exactly what we should be doing" in response to claim that he was splitting hairs.
The context was ‘yes’
maybe no = yes? xD haha- i know its as distasteful as it gets but i still had it on my mind and laughed so might as well share =P
No means yes. :D
@@jonesyxperia7 OK she said "no", but the context was "yes", I rest my defence.
I'm proud to see my South African brother being used to educate and teach on art of communication. He's intelligent and a genius.
It must be a great source of satisfaction to see Trevor represent South Africa so well.
For your standards he must be a genius. To many here he is barely more than a moron.
@@vengeance5537 Wow! You're a genius!
@@mwafrikahalisi2549 Compared to you I am a God.
@@vengeance5537 Congratulations! But too bad, I am not about to start worshiping you any time soon or ever! What a disappointment!
Didn't know Trevor, but it is obvious he is tremendously good at communicating and extremely quick witted. I very much liked the analysis, thank you for making the video. Subscribed.
Ben and Charlie podcast flows better. Charisma on command is an amazing course for anyone who hasn't joined yet!
Is there anyone like Trevor? Nobody as yet in the news media. He is brilliant in every sense of the word. He is just a great human being. Thank God for Trevor Noah.
I'd thank his parents for him, not god.
You can say that again....
'when I grew up I thought all people were chocolates"
Without context that's kinda weird 😂
Same!!!!... I learned about the white man in school😂😂😂
*Quick side glance*
When you grew up ,,,
Ok boomer
@@shriek_howl21 I'm actually gen z... It's just coz my country had gained freedom from white people by the time I was born
Happy to hear about the expansion! ✨
Growing up with an abusive narcassistic mother, I know to win an argument you have to stay calm and smile trough the whole progress and stay apathic and be patient, and then the other person becomes a monster when they stand there and shout, and they have already lost. You can even go as deep as asking them a lot of questions why they think that way and act like you are engaged and understanding and genually trying to find a point to where they no longer have a logic reason to come with, and if they end with idk or start crying or turn silent mood, you have won, and to add onto that you can come with your argument and opinions calmy and state logic in every opinion you have. Arguments you don't win with logic, not emotions
Trevor Noah is incredibly thoughtful when it comes to communication-he talks in his memoir about dispelling bullies by learning to speak their language and disarming them by appearing similar enough to them to befriend them instead.
The way in which he’s thoughtful is incredibly underrated.
I agree that he is extremely patient & sensible when in confrontation, which on its own is already quite admirable, but the fact that he is willing to go the extra mile to defuse a conflict/feud/antagonism (like the example you gave), not many people would do that, if you consider that for a while it'd feel like you're doing something in favor of the one you're supposed to be against.
That is why I genuinely respect and admire him as a person, even though I do not agree with everything he says.
Trevor Noah actually doesnt care about the truth and spreads misinformation because he is a paid propagandist. However, his approach and methodology is solid. It's just that most of what he says doesnt have much evidence to back it up. They're logical arguments that dont neccesarily need proof to be made.
@@loki-of-asgard7877 Provide a concrete example of where Trevor is not using actual facts and also show that he's not just expressing his opinion. The Daily Show, while comedy, is an opinion show.
Which book is that?
@@LovinglfDesigns noah traffics in non-sequitars, fallacies, and happy talk. Not "facts." It's an opinion show and easily fails the socratic method. He's also antisemitic.
Note: Don't make sarcastic jokes that offend the person.
Chandler: noted
*znowflakes people in a nutshell*
@@dontlookatmyvideoREE or your joke was never funny to begin with lol
@@israsaleh Yeah and they will probably send you death threats after that
@@israsaleh And stalk you and probably will get some of your private informations etc etc
Thanks guys so much u have helped me in my life finally seeing results when I haven’t before
I love these but I also find myself wishing I could access the full interviews. Would you consider posting links to those you reference? Thanks!
i feel at least 10% smarter by just watching this
how to win an argument without making enemies:
Kill them, they can't be your enemy if they're dead
That was violently American lol
Its not just American, it is simply plain Politics
@Bri D
This is fantastic problem solving. Plus population control. So 2 birds, one stone.
@@TasteMyStinkholeAndLikeIt Hon, I was born and raised in Georgia of the United States. Tell me how a grown man with a batman obsession walking into a theater and blowing away as many people as possible isn't as terroristic an attack as what you just mentioned.
I learned so much from this video. Thank you.
5:38 This is the part I most struggle with. I was often yelled at/hit/punished if my curiosities gave my mother the wrong...interpretation? Impression? It didn't matter what I actually meant or whether I was justified in my question. I've been trying to separate trauma from communication for a while, but it's hard - especially since a lot of people I engage with are ineffective in communication to start with. It's not so easy to find people who are good at it.
Same here. My emotions start going off the rails when people start getting irritated in a discussion and it's difficult to reign them in to have an effective discussion.
I think these strategies only work with people who are truly ignorant but otherwise healthy and honest folks. Don’t bother trying to have a logical or respectful argument with abusers or sociopaths, of which there are plenty. It’s naive to think that everyone has intrinsic altruism. Just use your calm voice and humor to make an exit asap.
Not being fanatical and staying human and decent is part of his value system.
*Gentle persuasion succeeds when force fails*
TimeFlies - Time Management ok, cool
Tell that to a feminazi or anti life crazies
Not when you rely on math and stats. When you use logic, everyone ignores you.
Electrolytes, it's what plants crave.
Kotor?
persuasion is violence
Excellent!! Very useful, and with Noah as a reference, even more. He is amazing! Thank you!!
Trevor is brilliant, I would love to hear in his own words how he navigates conversations. Trevor could do a Ted talk on it.
I need to study this for Christmas when I see my in-laws
i saw trevor, i click😂
Simple needs
Me too😂😂
😂😂😂 same here
Yeah, me too😂
Pei Yamada my husband in another dimension 😂 😂
I found the talk with Tami and Trevor and found it interesting that he was able to approach it as he did.
I learned a lot of how to speak to people like this over the years from people wiser than me and experience. One very important thing to add, and this isn't an easy thing to learn. It comes from experience and a natural ability - understanding different personality types. In my line of work I deal with a LOT of different kinds of people. But over the years I've learned to peg people pretty quickly on a scale of 0-10 of how insufferable they are. The higher on the scale the more charming one needs to be. As well as being able to read and understand how to keep people like that at ease. They aren't all the same either. Some are more aggressive, some passive aggressive, and some are mentally unstable. Some of these people you have to be very patient and slow down your speech and be very calm with (this is typically more for women), and some you need to be a little over aggressive at first and speak a little louder than normal to show that you are not a beta without coming off overly aggressive or threatening (this goes for lonely, angry, old men).
You're in customer service? Or just business? Have you used humor with the angry older men? They usually appreciate the attempt, even if they seem disgruntled by your attempt. I would like to add that most women who are like what you experience dealing with, behave in that way as a result of trauma. Usually a little kindness/empathy and asking them questions to fully see where they're coming from usually helps settle tensions because the issues they are having actually have nothing to do with the current interaction.