Attractive Men Avoid Saying This to Women
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 พ.ค. 2024
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In today’s video we’ll go through common mistakes men make when talking to women they’re attracted to. And what you can do instead to stop being boring and immediately be more attractive.
We’ll do this by breaking down some clips of Craig Ferguson.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:00 - Intro
0:25 - #1: Stop thinking of conversation as an exchange of information
2:13 - #2: Stop being excited about everything she says
5:06 - #3: Create an environment where women feel safe being flirty and sexual
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#CraigFerguson #CharismaOnCommand
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The unwritten rule of making women obsess over you: stop trying to make women obsess over you 😌
I am going to write it down
I tried that, no results. Do I need to meet with some first?
And master the art of bring Craig ferguson
How chafed are ur palms? Pffft 🤣🤣🤣
Instructions unclear. Men are now obsessed with me.
Craig's secret is he doesn't want anything from his guests except to make it a fun night for everyone. He doesn't want women to find him attractive, he wants everyone to have fun in his company. And I'm sure psychologically it comes from somewhere, who doesn't want to be liked, but I'm not his therapist, and the vibe he gives off is just - having fun in the other person's company and wanting to make it fun for them, too. That's it. No hidden agenda of making himself the most desirable man on TV. Not working up to a hookup with any remotely attractive woman he sees. No expectations, no pressure. He'll meet you where you are, will know when to push playfully and when to back off tactfully. He's a good conversationalist because he builds on what he's given - no answer to his question would be too plain for him to make a start to a great exchange. And that also means he knows and respects boundaries; if you don't want to head to a certain direction, he'll find another, equally fun, without a barest hint of disappointment. He's interested in the other person and not in his own image or goal (or at least he's good at portraying that).
Good insightful comment... the idea of no agenda is key, even though there may be an agenda... maybe it's more about no specific outcome... just fun... that keeps it from being too formulaic and cliché-like. No obvious fallback jokes... overused pickup lines. Real chemistry between two people is something unique and original.
Graham Norton is amazing too.
@@billybanter9573 Perhaps he's good at what he does, but I wouldn't be able to relax around that guy, plus he's too needy, which I find tiring.
Bingo!
Love this comment as much as the video. Yeah, no outcome dependency is actually BIG!
1 stop thinking of conversation as an exchange of information. Have fun. Answer questions with a joke. Respond to answers with a joke.
2 push pull. Positive, negative. Compliment, tease.
3 create a non judgemental, comfortable environment
Compliment - tease? Ha-ha good luck
the only correct answer
Haha how many girlfriends do you have
Thanks!
@@tookyu Then get better...
Habit 4: don’t think about what would make women obsess over you and just vibe
Turu hai
True, but you it's perfectly possible that you're boring. These are *habits* , not tricks
Weirdly enough, I've done exactly what you described andin the process broke every rule in this video and it worked. To be fair, I have interesting interests so my serious answers were inherently interesting, and I'm a sort of puppy dog like personality naturally regardless of attraction to the person, so my example is sort of the exemption that proves the rule
I use to get girls left and right just thinking about Jerry Seinfeld lines and making the subtle face and motion gestures it worked a lot then I got into a long and boring 7 year relationship so I’m getting back into it. You have to play actor and let yourself go, not worry about scoring a goal or getting blocked just keep it rolling and practice makes perfect. I use to obsess over breaking someone’s heart idk why but I’m not like that anymore.
vibe not found
I think there are some great tips in here, but the hardest part for most guys is the approach and giving women a reason to engage. Craig is a famous interviewer that is scheduled to talk to these women and they know it's supposed to be a light and casual conversation. The mood is set before they even sit down which is almost never the case in a public setting.
Great point. I can think of a million ways to do that NOW ….lol.
(1) Also, the best way to attract women is with power. You know, just be rich, famous, or the head of a company or organization. Being their boss works too (sadly). One college roommate I had was the most disagreeable and unattractive person in every way possible, but then ran and won the (unpaid) presidency of our housing Co-op. Suddenly his attitude improved and he was drowning in p*ssy. No joke man. He had his first girlfriend who was an attractive Egyptian girl, and I just recently thought to ask him how he even got her. “She worked in the office” was the reply. He was “the boss”.
(2) Watch the the Arnold movie “True Lies”. Worth the watch but also note the Skeezeball “detective” character Jamie Lee Curtis hooks up with. It’s a caricature, but He is using the technique of meeting her under a false premise. No one likes being “stalked”, but if, as in Craig Ferguson’s case, you approach them under a different premise then wanting to “date” them (or whatever), more likely to be successful. But let’s be honest, at the end of the day, unless you have one of the power characteristics above, you will end up in relationship with a person who is your same attractiveness and social class (or as a man, below yours more likely). Funny, the thing that is hilarious about women is how they love the fairytale (and that’s all it is) of rich dudes marrying the maid or the like as in the movie “Pretty Woman”. Maybe, if she’s Julia Roberts. The power dynamic for women is their attractiveness of course. Same concept applies. “Like” bonds to “like” (same to same). It’s basic chemistry. What’s the point of all that you say? “Stay in your lane” :)
That's why you set the mood from the get go.
Definitely harder, but certainly do-able.
I've actually done a lot of that naturally, but I suspect it's not something you can just tack onto your existing personality.
My view on self-improvement and psychology generally... is that no-one really changes much, but you can make some 'tweaks'.
If nothing about you is innately playful, then you ain't gonna turn into Craig Ferguson.
But you can possibly keep in mind just a little of his approach.
@@BWater-yq3jx Frankly, that comes across as saying, "I'm pretty cool and it's pointless to try for those of you who aren't."
@@kiralycsavo0 He's trying to convince himself that is the case 😂
The moment I went to a date with "I'll just have fun, I will not even try to seduce her" attitude, girls started to hit me like crazy. Complete game changer.
That's the key - just have fun!
Just perfect!
I definately try that out in my next life when I get dates!
@@Skall-ex😂😂
So I just need to be effortlessly witty and charismatic. All this time I thought sweating and stumbling over myself awkwardly was enough. 😓
Honestly if you are yourself and cute that’s less intimidating and there will be many who prefer that
@@hayati6374 now I gotta be cute too? 😥 I need a new playlist for how to be happy alone.
@@GrinderMagee embrace you, there are people out there who appreciate you, even your quirks. It ain't worth going out there to be someone you aren't, be you my friend.
Also be famous, 6'+, Rich, and have a team of people dressing you and doing your hair.
@@JD2jr. Don’t forget the late night show and a band and team of writers! ✍️
The secret to being successful is to be able to relax. Relaxation is the key, and the people who are the most relaxed are those who have accepted themselves, can laugh at themselves and are able to let go. That self-acceptance allows them to be accepting of other people and because they're not clutching at anything, the person in front of them becomes, in that moment, the most important person in their life. The focus is on the other in a sometimes playful encounter without ever wanting to take from them- just celebrating whatever comes to mind in the moment. Our brains are always more lucid, creative and naturally witty when they're relaxed.
Yes, relax.. aka "get drunk"
I’ve learned how to turn my awkwardness into a way to break tension and when it works my goodness. There’s nothing quite like it
Yeah same.
LIke a Woody Allen movie.
WHEN it works ?? I think for SIX hunded dollars You would want it to work all the time !!
Love Craig. Definitely the best late night show host.
wish he'd come back
he is the best of all late night hosts. many guys wish they would have half the charisma he has with the ladies.
@megamcea Love Craig. Definitely the best -late night- show host.
Keep! Keep! Keep! Keep! Keep! This style of format. I loved the colored subtitles, it kept me engaged and helped digest the key concepts that were being coveyed. Thank you guys for all of these amazing videos!
Craig's banter game is 11/10.
Stop thinking of conversation as an exchange of information is probably the best advice i've heard in my entire life and i am 50. Still doing it wrong but i am working on it. 😉
I'll never get tired of this channel and I'll never get tired of Craig. Thanks for keeping it up.
(that's what she said)
Simplest advice: keep it light hearted, not too serious!
My favorite interaction is @4:07. There is something in her eyes that mirrors a curious kind of respect. The essence of "game respecting game". So hard to get that kind of acknowledgement out of a woman, even if you have had a good track record with interactions. Well, it's something I've noticed anyway. No hi-fives or anything, unfortunately
That's what works for him. Cause Craig's working from his "area of comfort" and his own set of personality. Trying to imitate him is kind of weird cause everyone's different. I think the key is to be in comfort with yourself and relaxed but that manifests in different vibes depending on a guy. The goal is not to imitate Craig but to get to such relaxed mindset where he is just being himself
Don’t try to model yourself after other people. It will make you hate yourself and idolize others
Being an introvert is like having a hidden world inside your head, but not being able to handle people in the real world. From the cashier who asked you some unexpected question, to the colleagues you see every day... and after all those people, theres 1 person whose presence makes your brain boil, your hands sweat, who makes you feel a surge of happiness. Like you knew this person your whole life, but the "start" has been so far, that you dont remember it and now you have to back to start again.
Don't copy other people. the only habit you need is to be your GENUINE self. if she/he/whomever, doesn't think you're interesting, simply thank them for their time and walk away to the next person. I promise you the time and mental energy you just saved from trying to impress someone who is probably very shallow is priceless. genuine people enjoy talking to ANYONE as long as they're also genuine. so be kind and be yourself, and if that person doesn't enjoy that, don't ignore that warning sign and leave.
All about humor and timing
Craig has completely mastered it!
He's one of a kind
Genius!
These are all great tips but i feel like a prerequisite is a quick wit.
yep
True but you would be surprise how witty whatever comes to ur mind first can be. We often filter our thoughts. Try to not filter too much and say it instead (Unless it's potentially offensive). You don't want to scare away the other person.
@@Neofire60 Yeah i def run into that issue. thanks for the tip
A witty person doesn’t know he’s witty if he doesn’t try to be
Yeah, it really doesn't hurt to have some memorized teases, jokes or memorized short stories. So if you run out of things to say you can pull out one of them, it takes less mental effort to say something you already know - so it'll also help you to have more bandwith to think up the next thing ( there is nothing wrong with using the same jokes and stories, all actors, tv personalities, networkers do it)
You definitely want to keep reevaluating the effectiveness of these tips throughout your conversation with a girl. I personally hate puns, and tip "respond playfully to her answers" rarely goes over well with me as guys tend to overdo it. I would feel like the guy is too focused on getting in a silly joke, rather than listening to what I have to say. My answers seem unimportant to him, except as a launching pad for him to look funny. However, I think if the guy played this 25% of the time as you suggested, I would feel both heard and that he is trying to make me laugh.
The art is doing both or taking what you said and exaggerating it in such a way it shows you were listening actually pretty carefully. Or reverse it and exaggerate it the other way... you get to be contrary while also showing you were paying attention. AND after you do that put the conversation back onto the other person right away so they can continue. Too many people just keep running with the joke and it over rides the other persons conversation instead of injecting something that shows you are interested in listening.
Active listening is doing things that encourage a person to keep talking and any humor or joke you make should also put the focus back on the subject or person again.
You're actually agreeing.
Why do you think guys should jump through hoops to impress you in conversation?
What are YOU doing to be effective for HIM in conversation? Or do you expect to just be entertained by men you view as court jesters who have to work to deserve being in your presence?
@@torachan23 Here is a slap of reality for you: guys are far more likely to approach women and in hugely disproportionate numbers. If a man is approaching a woman, then the onus is on the conversation initiator to keep the interaction going and engaging. Also, if a woman is repeatedly being approached by men who want to engage them in conversation, those men need to find a way to stand out from one another.
But i think you know that already and reality pisses you off.
@@TJ-bu9zk no one’s mad even though that’s what you enjoy being a woman, get lost, no one needs your toxic advice from a fake woman on the internet trying to spread their BS
İ am sometimes awkward and i love it. To see how people react or get it totally wrong is just funny and it let opens new room for conversation
Thank you for everything bros you're constantly improving my life
Great breakdown. Your videos just get better and better.
I have the other person talk more than me, everyone loves talking about themselves, and they are usually more comfortable. This goes for simple friendship creation as well as flirting.
Well the thing about Craig is that he makes even us the viewers obsess over him and not his guests without even trying to.
To be honest most people only watch talk shows for the guests. But I'm sure all who watch Craig's show will find him so entertain that they'll even forget who the guests were.
If there's any talkshow host that I would watch purely enjoy watching them alone & not their guests, it'll be him!
Track down a couple of clips from the Norman Gunston Show from the 70's, he became a cult figure in Australia for his didn't care who you are approach. His interview with Frank Zappa is a gem, Frank quickly understands his schtick and what he is up to and tags along
the crowd helps him not seem creepy, when they laugh it lightens the mood and they are also in a safe place and they know that...it would be much different in a bar or on the street!
also hes famous
Craig does seem to be a charming guy, but there are some things being forgotten here. I think the majority of these women were asked to go on here by their agents/managers or whoever. They know what kind of show it is and are already expecting to behave a certain way. There is some good advice, but let's not pretend that every one of these women is ready to go home with him.
Ah but then you need to remember the main purpose of flirting is to make them feel good, not to get them to like you
Literally none of them want that. This video explained all of that. Your comment ends with your own assumption (exaggerated at that) that isn't even remotely true. If you watched the video, you misinterpreted the intention of the video, and the information given in this literal video...
So clearly you missed the fact that the video was telling you "don't talk to her/behave with the sole intention of going to bed with them"...
Of course not everyone of these women is ready to go home with Craig. Why would you think that's the case. Nor is Craig ready to go home with most of these women. Craig is happily married in most of these clips, and many of the ladies are too, the whole thing is a public, filmed interaction - noone is actually expecting to get some out of the situation. That's not in the cards and, hear me out, that is also not the point. Flirting is a fun conversation with someone you appreciate as an attractive human being and who reciprocates that impression of you - nothing more, nothing less. If you go into every interaction with a woman with the mindset that maybe this time you'll score, you'll come off as desperate and impersonal. Craig doesn't do that. He doesn't try to catch a woman in showing attraction to him, nor does he mistake it for desire, nor would he mistake that for openness to sleeping together. He doesn't try to get women to go home with him. The conversation being fun is the goal for him, not it leading somewhere. And that's why the women feel comfortable having that type of interaction with him. Whether or not that strategy has resulted in him successfully seducing women in his life is another question entirely.
True they are playing the piper but realistically if you had his demenour you would have good success.
7:03 - 7:06 ... Priceless! Where there is mutual attraction, effective flirting and laughter is foreplay. Even if you never get to the main event, it is (should be) a LOT of fun. To borrow from the sales gurus: ABF ... Always Be Flirting.
actually what does that gesture mean? oral s*x?
@@andyng5321 Si, senor!
One of the finest channels. Good at what it does
What a great video!!! Thank you
First rule..... Never get any celebrities as an example
😂😂😂😂😂
I also like how Craig doesn't expect anything from his guests. He lets them take the lead for a bit and has fun with that.
Man he's great. Came up watching him and Conan back and forth def helped build what little charm i'm able to muster
I watched hours of videos like this, but this one stood out because it made me laugh alot aswell so my understanding of the topic is so much better!
Agree and amplify (answering with obvious non serious answers) is one of the best social skills to pick up, honestly. It breaks so much tension.
Can't agree on everything.
Rule number one: Do not attract her with behavior that you know you cannot sustain.
Be the BEST version of yourself!
Very very true!
Great answer
If you made a girl laugh and giggle and make her feel nice about herself for no other reason than .. it makes you happy
Your videos are so good!
Making 25% of small talk into playful and non-serious answers is a good rule of thumb. I’ve talked to people who make the majority of the conversation into jokes and ironic answers, and it’s annoying as hell. I always feel like I’m not talking to a real person in those instances.
I know, what you mean. Some people always want to be the clown in the circus. Its like to sugarcoating the sugarcake. The secret is to have and show a genuine interest in the person or people and find the right spot to put everyone in an easy laid back mood.
It's a fine line!
You want to genuinely get to know the girl but also not joke about everything and be a clown.
Don't forget that it is the format of the show. So it doesn't feel weird when you see it happening. But not all women or men are comfortable with these jokes, some are orthodox about it and some simply find it distasteful and I genuinely respect that.
Goddamnit your titles always makes me curious! nice vids btw thanks for sharing the tips!
Just get into a good vibes and upbeat chill conversation, that’s all cheers!!!👌
Conversation is an art! And for it to be fun like this, it takes the right kind of partner. like dancing
Exactly. It doesn’t work with everyone
I did exactly this during my 30 years of adult dating life. Bedded more women than I deserved. But when I found that rare woman at age 49, I was done with the whole bachelor scene. Why? Because she simply made me a better man by being a more genuinely authentic person without a hateful bone in her body. Being in Chicago, that ain't easy!
We married 20 months later. No kids between us, but we still LAUGH every day, 14 years later-- my personal promise to a bride who gave me the best gift in life-- her heart.
ok
meh, weak
Craig honestly is late night Goat.
🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐
Stunned by the video...
It's seriously amazing man
Nice work Ben ❤️👍👍
This is something I’ve always been naturally good at and it really is the most rewarding and valuable social skill you can have. Being funny, playful and easy to talk to is by far the most attractive quality you can have but you do have to be able to back it up with other things like being able to pay her adequate attention and listen intently to her when she’s talking. If you’re nothing but a goof ball who can flirt easily, she’ll get bored relatively quick
There is a difference between getting a fun interview and getting lucky. Craig is great at the one that gets viewers
Thnx 🔥
Awesome insights.
Hey Charlie. Appreciate your videos. They have helped me tremendously in life. I have had a huge career boost and have you to thank in part of that. I would like to see more videos on Charisma that can benefit you professionally. I also thing those videos would fit a better demographic, as opposed to videos that are targeted towards the population of men that want to influence women.
They’re the same thing.
Craig is not handsome but he's really attractive because of his sense of humor and honesty. And that, paradoxically, makes him handsome. So, if you wanna flirt like that, step 1, be Craig Ferguson lol
He's a taller Richard Hammond.
Interesting I remember this channel! Been a while Charisma on command
I've never watched his show but definitely will now!
Man Craig was such a host. Probably best late night show. Today it would be impossible to have such a show.
I was always told that if you can make a woman laugh then you can get her into bed. But in my case, they don't normally laugh till they're in bed with me.
🤣🤣
hi Ben and Charlie i think a lot of us would appreciate if you'd make videos like this but about men thank you so much
I think the snake cup is used as a metaphorical device that got used a lot. Ferguson is awesome, loved his show.
I like to think this channel is secretly a Craig Ferguson fan channel masquerading as a self help channel.
Well that ain't a complaint tho lol
Just “being yourself “ without striving to better your communication skills , confidence , charisma , fitness , literally just upgrading yourself will give you the same negative results .
Craig is a genius!!
Craig is a master at it
Actress are there for PR. He is there for ratings.
You clearly haven’t watched him then 😂
The problem with the "obviously fake question" tip is how many women actually believe the answer
Depends on the delivery
Charm and looks or any combo thereof helps too. In fact its a prerequisite to these practices.
Love this ❤
Craig is the King of flirting😁
Craig himself said that none of these women were actually interested in him - they played it up for their own purposes. But it's good vibing
Well that means a lot of nothing, now doesn't it.
Make a video how to get the knowledge to make your conversation long or deep! Please
1. first ans: playful
2. Don't be too excited Be Push-Pull
3. Have Safe flirt
Hi. Giving you new topics to make videoes on which I think will help everyone :
1. Basic personal qualities required for success.
2. Health
3. How to break Goals into daily tasks.
4. Personal Grooming
5. Personality development
6. Overcoming Crisis
7. SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)
8. Diabetes
9. Developing Resilience
10. Importance of Personal & Social Life
Me talking to any girl:🤓
Me talking to middle-aged women:
Then practice with milfs first
The Man, the Myth, the Legend!
Craig, from Jersey!
The way Michelle Monaghan acted with her hand and Craig was quick on the innuendo really cracks me up😂
Context, context, context. It's TV show. Craig is married with a 1 year old. All of these women know they're safe to banter with no consequences. Craig knows it too. He's not trying to woo these women and has nothing invested because he's married with a 1 year old. They are on a TV show and being paid as guests to be captive in that chair for 15-20 minutes. These women don't have to plan their escape or rehearse a "brush off" for Craig, the way they do with the 98% of guys they meet when their "out." Someone else made the comment that "Craig doesn't want anything from his guests." In the dating world, that's the superhighway to the friendzone. In the dating world, if you ask for nothing, you get nothing. If you're entertaining and pauying for venues and dinners, women are happy to string you a long and make you a "buddy." You can do everything Craig does on his show, but the second you express interest in wanting more, she ghosts you, because now she knows you like her so it's over. On the show, these women have no expectations and neither does Craig. The context of expectation in the dating world, changes everything.
Oh please. Can we stop this idea of living life based on women? 😂 No one should ever be that needy for someone's approval or attention.
lol dennis at 6:35 when he mentions creeps
hello charisma on command what are 30 video's that basicly are you charisma universty cours just if people don't have the munny for it so they can watch does. maby a fun video. just a question. you guys make good contend and helped me already throughout these years to have more charisma.
It's pretty easy to be successful with those basic dad jokes when you're a famous talk show host, or in a scene of a movie. You should try to do the same as you tell us in your suggestions in a normal, spontaneous environment like a bar. Most of the times jokes like those end up making people laugh of you, or just being refused unless you're very attractive.
If only Craig had been around when I was in the dating world.
Craig is prob out of your league.
I've been doing this for years, more so after Craig.
6:37
🤣🤣🤣 perfect clip
Great video. But remember guys, don’t over do it. Nothing worse
1- Being handsome.
2-Being in good shape.
3-Being rich.
(No character, talent or wishdom is required)
But these people got rich in the first place due to their personality
@@oliverford5367 I talked about character. You can cheat people, betray them and get rich. Having a good character is something different.
You should do a video about Joseph Quinn charm
Bro in the middle of the video I thought I am watching some kind of mathematic video full of calculations and checks :) Indeed your video are full of information keep it up
What I learned after watching this video: Be Craig Fergusson.
Instructions Unclear, HR wants to see me tomorrow.
Fabulous video
Just realised that I unintentionally did this with someone I didn't find attractive and they could now very well develop feelings for myself 🤦🏻♂️
As a man you really need to be conventionally attractive to attract most women, which means taller than mean-height and classically attractive facial and physique features. If you didn't get those on your genetic dice roll it's a laborious uphill struggle. Most 'confident' men derive their confidence from these attributes, and of course they do.
Not completely true Sir. A resourceful man with means and with an understanding of how the female species function, is all what it takes.
If you are attractive most women won't look at you or make eye contact with you unless they have to, and if you are "intelligent" or have a technical career women will be intimidated by you. So it's a struggle no matter who you are. What I've learned is acquaintances like you when A) they feel like they are better than you or B) they can use you. If they perceive you're smarter, more attractive, etc. it doesn't matter how nice or humble you are, if you make people feel inferior just by being you, they won't like you. Nobody ever talks about that.
And money. Lots and lots of money. That helps.
LoL money + having a good successful person with less attractive body attributes is better than having good looks or anything ( For men ).
I started watching these years ago. I've been taking notes. I've compiled the best here for you all to reference.
Rule 1: Be Craig Ferguson.
It can seem simple but the timing requires that it comes natural. Some people have it, some don’t. Just be yourself.
Craig . More Craig!!
Being a Silver Fox Scottish Late Night TV Host sure doesn't hurt
Agreed. This video is spot on! I'm a talk show host too, and have always found that the best conversations are with women, as I constantly undress them with my eyes the way Craig does his lady guests, often touching their boobs to ask what kind of dress they're wearing, the way Craig does as well. Men however, are intimidated by the same things women obsess over me; my money, my striking good looks, my popularity, my lightning wit, and my physique - I'm 5' 9" and 158 pounds of Grade A Beefsteak.
I've even had to call security a few times when some of my male guests, or my lady guests' husbands or boyfriends would get mouthy and up in my face during a commercial break.
Now I'm just hoping the next video might be called, "How to make men NOT be jealous of you". That could definitely be super helpful 🙂
I reject this advice because not everyone is funny and charismatic and you can't "teach" these traits, that is, you can fake them but once you get the girl your real self will reveal itself eventually. Just be yourself and don't think about it too hard, life is too short to obsess over chasing women.
Focus on having fun and the rest should take care of itself :)
2:30 if someone tells you they are a dancer and a writer, ask them if they write with their feet, the way you think on your feet.
I have always been charming and am trying to backwards solve where I got it. i think watching Craig ferguson was an influence