Zones: A map of relationship types to help relieve dating confusion
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2024
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"Zones" is a brief outline of what men and women value in each other. Named after the "friend zone," I have expanded "box theory" (and made a few corrections) in order to divide relationship types into "zones."
Both men and women can use "Zones" as a handy guide to understand why their relationships are functioning the way they are, and to make better choices.
For women: If you're not his "keeper," and you can't improve on what he wants from you, he just isn't that into you. Move on, or stay sidelined.
For men: If you're stuck in the "friend zone," you need to learn to be a man. It's not just looks, but fitness, success, power, and personality that make women excited. It's up to you to create that for yourself, or you can't complain.
Both men and women can use the "Zones" map as a quick and easy way to figure out why their relationships work the way they do, find out how to improve them, and either make these improvements happen, or move on if they can't.
I'm a psychology student, I wrote my bachelor's degree thesis about mating strategies, sex role differences, initiation of relationships etc. from an evolutionary psychological perspective, and I have to say that atleast 90% of this videos content can be backed up by scientific data.
Congratulations sir for the amazing summary!🎉
Is your thesis available?
What's the other 10%?
@@danielhuelsman76 bro science, bro
haha that's awesome dude. I'm glad you weren't shamed for it. Academia is becoming very very very one dimensional.
You had to write a thesis for a bachelors degree?? Wtf 😳 📜
This is actually genius, I have never seen anyone explain it so perfectly before. Sending this vid to all of my boys
thank you!!! I appreciate the share. still building audience! the even better stuff comes later.
When I was 8 years old, Superman loved Lois Lane and Lois Lane loved Superman. Everything was so easy. You didn't have to be a genius like Wile E. Coyote to understand. Since then, It's all evolved into something shameful and unrecognizable.
@@michaeln.2383The problem is that the people who wrote those scripts for the TV or the movie were people who didn't know how real life works, so they did their best and you trusted them
@@michaeln.2383 I agree. It is the dishonesty that this man doesn’t address. Date a woman to marry who also wants to marry you and who loves you.
All the other getting girl you don’t really like and what not- recipe for being confused, and for women to be confused and used too
As a dating coach for men, I’ve been explaining all of this for a few years now but I have never laid it out so clearly. You have summarised perfectly the situation for men AND women. I will encourage men to watch this video. Great work !
I’m curious, would you make a video about how you discovered all of that, and who you are exactly ?
I will do an introductory video, yes.
I have a very rare combination of traits. I have a top 1% IQ (people hate it when you say this, but oh well, it's true), I believe I have mild undiagnosed autism, which helps separate my conscious awareness from my deep-rooted subconscious drives so that I can observe them and place them under my control, and I have spent an enormous amount of time on self- development including study, mindfulness, fitness, and social skills. I have been able to do this because I am habitually unemployed, which I do not fully understand. I have many skills and no one will pay me for them. I'm broke as death and have been almost all my life despite applying for 6000 jobs.
I also have an extremely rich history of experience with women, especially considering that I am significantly neurodivergent. I've seen everything they do from every angle.
Basically, I have the tools and the experience to "get it" on the rational, emotional, and instinctive levels, and I have had the time to let it all formulate into a map of simple min/max stats that can be operated on.
Much, much more is coming, but only if I get paid! Please support me with a donation or by buying a copy of this chart (or anything else I offer!) which I will have ready for sale ASAP along with a glossary of terms via my linktree (below). I am also a dating (and general personal development) coach, so I am your competition, but I want everyone to have the tools I'm building. But I also need to be paid, and for God's sake, I deserve it. I need to learn to monetize better while also promoting availability of the tools, because they're gonna do a lot of good.
linktr.ee/hoemath
TikTok: hoe_math
cashapp and venmo in bio if you'd like to buy anything.
@@hoe_math thank you for your answer. Well my niche is in French so I don’t really compete with you but anyways there is so much people that need help that dating coaches should multiply. I can see how you got there, please keep up the good work and maybe find someone that can help you organise your business ? There is plenty of great business mentors out there.
@hoe_math I relate to the "habitually unemployed" part, brother, insofar as I have, since 2006 or so, been unable to hold or maintain a "typical" job in the traditional "9-to-5" model and sense.
I do create music and voice act, and such, and I make a little (honestly wouldn't cover a lot, though, if I didn't have assistance from taxpayer-funded social programs...which I wish I dusky need to rely upon, but alas...the private sector would make disability benefits ACTUALLY effective...anyway).
When I am able, I would be willing to send a donation to you. I don't really want or need the merch, just would like to directly donate. I would this moment, if I wasn't broke.
Regardless, I understand this to a degree. It is (or at least seems) virtually impossible for neurodivergent folk (an umbrella under which I also stand) to maintain gainful employment, even of the self-employed, entrepreneurial variety.
Subbed for now, will remind myself to send a donation when I am able. I strive to directly financially support other creators as often as I am able.
@@hoe_math For what it may be worth, I suspect the unemployable aspect comes from how blunt and sure of yourself you are. You know you're intelligent and don't deny it, and are able to recognize that people don't like when you do this, so it's not a stretch. I've been very close to several people who work HR, and they do not care about how good someone is at the job if they (and others) cannot get along well with them. It's almost a universal HR person story that they've had to let an incredibly efficient 10x-er go because they were impossible to get along with.
They'd rather employ an ineffectual dullard who's comfortable to be around than a genius who isn't. You have a sharp energy about you which does not set others at ease (unless you're playing them, I wager, but that's exhausting in the long term). Your skill with women may not translate to the employment sector, and getting experience in this arena is impossible if they won't let you in the door because you don't already have said experience.
I assure you I mean no offense - I imagine you and I could get along very well, but I've also always gotten along exceptionally well with autists (I think I may be one to a very slight degree). I find your knowledge incredibly useful and I'm grateful you're sharing it, but I figure you may be able to find utility in my hunch on this matter as well. Just a hunch, of course.
@@hoe_mathwell as I can see you've got great amount of skills but can't be paix for them, why not learning sales and marketing for you to reach to promote them. Wouldn't this be a great initiative ?
This video has basically explained to me that i’m screwed if I dont change myself.
Bars
Sounds about right for most of us guys lol
There’s only up from here my guy. Hit that gym. Find your masculine bliss & Dominate!
9O% of men are screwed if they don't change themselves.
@@wolfsfroth hitting the gym won't do anything for you if you're ugly. don't fool yourself
Just as a PSA for the guys: Being a 'bad boy' is completely subjective and depends on demographics like age, culture and personal history. For example: If an attractive 23 yr old American woman had more than 10+ relationships, her standards of 'bad boy' will be much more difficult to achieve than a sexually naïve 18 year old woman, a 30+ year old woman who wants stability, or even a woman of particular faith / collectivist society where attractiveness is a plus rather than a deal breaker. This extreme emphasis on particularity is predominantly an individualistic country issue and should not sway you to drastically change who you are just to find someone to be compatible with.
@glitchysquid1137 Bro stop yappin 😭
Another layer of complication for women, typical
Welp have fun with your future 30 cats and box wine
Ok hole
Ehh, I doubt there is any culture or person for that matter where a man being able to be dominant, commanding respect and being able to influence people isn't seen as attractive. How a man would achieve this obviously differs by culture or sub-culture, but the pricinple is the same.
"Different women value different things differently." I love it.
Yeah, just a minor disclaimer that this map doesn't apply in many cases, lol
@@SirWiggletonIt applies perfectly for me, I'm a man though.
@@balls5262 A lot of these types of videos will paint men as rational in their desires, so of course a lot of guys are going to feel like it applies to them. But then they'll make women look irrational with this bad boy stuff. And further try to emphasize the differences by giving different names to the same thing between genders (e.g. cabinet vs. galaxy)
@@SirWiggleton Yeah, I guess you're right
@@SirWiggletonyess i was interested in seeing how it applies to my relationship but i’m a lesbian lol
Why try to understand girls, when you can watch a 24 minute documentary to educate yourself instead without leaving the house
dawg this guy makes good videos but if thats ur take, thats the reason why you dont understand girls. for your own good go outside and join a club or community and get platonic social interactions with women
@@oro8083it's a joke bro it's not that deep
@@oro8083 jeez man 😂
I mean it's a joke, but this video is serious
Dude they are fucking awful out there, you want me to go outside and talk to people who make others want to isolate online?
if touching grass was a better alternative you wouldn't have to tell people to do it
Now THIS, this is analysis. You can use this map for every single dating situation you've been in and find the optimal zone to describe your experiences. This isn't red-pill BS, this is an exceptional body of work created by a very observational man. Kudos
Want it or not, believe it or not, some red pill stuff is also true. You probably just don’t like the presentation/tone/word choice that some of the red pill channels use
@@elchucapablas Right on.
Most of it, in fact, is.
It's red pill 💊-a lot of red pill content is about female nature & how not to get used by women...
Btw when I say “red pill BS” I’m talking about the ones who have hijacked the movement, not the ones who are breaking down the nature of a woman. You know, what red pill is truly about
@@Shemzinho redpill actually just means awareness. It isn’t tied to female nature
Someone give this man a standing ovation for this commentary and showing us this simplistic visual aid. He basically boiled down todays modern dating scenario in 23 minutes and 21 seconds flat. Something that all these dating "gurus" can't even put together when they are asked the simplest of questions. Bravo Sir. Bravo.
Dating gurus only want your money. And the irony is that these gurus are not even married or in successful relationships themselves. How many single & miserable women out there are giving dating advices to other women? A ton. Why? Well this is something that HM didn't cover - women on women relationships. Another strategy to get to the top guy. Trick the more young and more attractive women into misery, so it will increase your chances of getting the top dude. I bet you heard tons of stories of how some BFF advised for a divorce only to get that same man for herself.
@@Rosispergia Correct. Almost all dating gurus are nothing but a big grift and yes I have heard those stories. Some BFF convinces her friend to divorce her man because of XYZ reasons but all in all said man was actual an upstanding guy. Single bitter women keep other women single. If @hoe_math did a video of the thought process of a women on women relationship and how those have even higher failure rates, now that would be highly interesting!
@@mrtennessee1o1 Oh, and something else to be added. I'm a Eastern European woman and I can tell you that not all the passport bros will be happy getting these ladies. It's not a guarantee. The majority would be in a relationship if you have a good amount of money; sure they will cook, clean and take care of you, but the money factor is still there. And money does not equal love. In the Czech Republic there is a trend among the ladies where they "catch" a foreigner, get pregnant, ask for alimony. Rinse and repeat. Seen this on foreigner groups on FB. Take care!
Bravo, Sir. Bravo.
Chapeau. I take my hat off and I bow in front of you, Sir.
@@RosispergiaHeard and read about what you described. As a snipped man in his 40s, I look forward to a woman in another country trying it with me.
You are a treasure bro, 30 years on this Earth, several situationships, 3 long term relationships, 1 of whom cheated on me and I can affirm every thing you say to be a million percent true. Keep it up, would appreciate a video on the "mascultinity and looks" side of the equation and how men can improve that. From what I understood doing something simple like just working out and getting a tattoo or two can boost you significantly in the "bad boy" score.
CORRECT. Just being strong and having signs of disobedience can make you more of a bad boy.
He's wrong about bad boy stuff that isn't looks, think about it, the only criminals(which are more likely to have "bad boy traits")who get any gfs are all handsome or tall, Jeremy Meeks only got any attention due to hus Chad looks, no women would send him money if he looked like average joe.
And no, tattoos also don't help, tons of criminals have those, do you see women go to prison to find potential LT/ST partners?
Working out on the other hand definitely can help but remember there's a limit, too much muscle won't help you and can even be detrimental.
Did you google henry kissinger? Men without looks but with power can often get top women @@danielsurvivor1372
@@danielsurvivor1372You have to remember that the “bad boy” traits aren’t necessarily the same for EVERY woman, and that each woman places a different amount of emphasis on any one trait. Some women can consider a dude with a long but well kept beard a “bad boy” trait cause it reminds them of those badass biker gang dudes or something. Some women might not care about physical “bad boy” traits at all but only care about how dominant the guy is mentally, how willing he is to set boundaries and not waver from them, etc. You must overlay this chart over each specific woman you are dealing with and figure out what things she personally values and then figure out what you can personally do (that’s within reason) to increase your score on the bad boy and good guy levels.
@@danielsurvivor1372 no, you are wrong. Look at guy from Andrew Tate crew who got arrested for "loverboy method". That guy is clearly a criminal aka actually bad boy and woman fall for him, fall in love. And he looks like average Joe.
Growing up in church purity culture, I was gaslit into maximizing the good guy axis and minimizing the bad boy axis. Then I wondered why I was always friend zoned. Thank you for clearing this up. Definitely sick and tired of everyone's rampant sexual dishonesty, just gonna abstain. True love is dead when it's so mappable like this. But this map is so true it's scary.
real
True love is dead honestly
@JohnDoe-xj1pf right same!! Then when it was hyperconditional as an adult (and seeing hookup culture spread like wildfire) it makes you wonder how in the world we threw away the type of love that was portrayed in those movies. But my guess is starting to become that that love never existed at all. Figured those stories had to be modeled / based on something, but it turns out that maybe they weren't.
Nothing wrong with maxing out the good guy side. You have to understand that the reason women are more attracted to the "bad boy" side is because of the socially engineered decay of society - do you really want to change the good things about yourself to cater to the lowest common denominator so you're not lonely? Seriously something to think about.
@@EnFuego79 Yeah that's a good point... I should clarify, my phrasing doesn't pertain to my regrets about following Christ instead of tail overall, but it pertains to my regrets about holding a reductionist expectation that there was nothing else to romance when it did arise... in other words, it's not the fact that there are 'rules' or that it 'works a certain way', but the fact that I was lied to about what those rules were. I'm "fine" being lonely as in, have always chosen singleness instead of dating bad options, however, there is a degree of willingness to commit necessary evils that is necessary when becoming attractive to women that the church conveniently leaves out and forgets to mention (and actively discourages you from). So then the people who are just generally willing to submit to evil in general are the only ones who do well with women
I'm a 30 year old guy who has been in a reasonable amount of relationships/sitautionships in my time. I've been an avid consumer of dating advice from many sources all over the place in that time, and this is the one SINGLE source that i've seen that flatly lays out what basically EVERY OTHER dating advice source attempts to explain - but usually in a more partial manner. This is great beyond words.
Agreed! This is a really simple and amazing breakdown /reflection/& future reference to be aware of 😅* so glad I found this channel (through a live KillTony stand up tonight)
Same but I'm 36 and I've more just ran through women, not dated so much lol. Hard to get chicks now without going back to the bad boy energy but I'm ready to settle down
@@Obeythemay I'm coming up on thirty in a couple years and I've had sort of the opposite problem lol always seemed to give just the right amount of bad boy energy to the girls I'm not interested in, and not enough to the ones I am
It’s amazing how well he can visually organize it. I feel like a lot of other people have this information figured out and know this, but it’s not a simple thing to explain by any means, especially without major bias.
I have a lot of female family and friends. Everything he says is true. I have shown this to several women who can be trusted. The jaws hit the floor.
This is hands down the best informational video I’ve watched this year.
Hot and crazy matrix>
It fails in what most of us want tho. Being toxic wont get you a healthy loving relationship, and youll never find true love if you dont believe in it.
@@baltulielkungsgunarsmiezis9714I don’t think its claiming to deliver on getting a healthy relationship or prescribing behavior, its more like a map of the buttons and levers that get pushed and what they lead to
@@baltulielkungsgunarsmiezis9714if you’re short and ugly there’s no such thing as true love
“And here I drew a cabinet. Which is the male version of the galaxy” I don’t why that was funny to me. 😂
😮
At first I mistook this as a joke, but that is actually a really solid illustration of the real relationship landscape. Well done!
Sameeee😂
yeah, i feel like buying it as well
As a wise woman once said: "A man can either love or understand women. Once a man understands women, he is no longer are able to love them again."
Wow! That is true. I didn't know anyone else established that. My motto is, it's me and Batman now. Not as a couple, obvi, as kindred spirits. Batman is smart enough to put bros before hoes and be single. No one privy to his fortune. ANYWAYS I'm saying I'll affirm your statement, sir.
I have always had girl friends, and was raised by 4 women (though I had a present father) and then a 10 year relationship, now, 6 years on, I 1000% agree with that quote. If I could I would stop caring about women 100%.
You can but you have to except that they are humans and love them as such. You can't love them as a princess anymore on a pedestal unless you know how to maintain the mystery in your brain and that requires active fantasies such as putting her in a princess dress and you in a prince charming uniform and taking her on her dream date. But I mainly love them as imperfect humans that need to be looked after or at least advised from time to time on what to do in life.
Wrong. We just saw the chart. That “love” is now graspable and sound like its husband too middle of gold digger / mid mid of chart.
I've spent my whole life trying to maximize my good guy axis, and I always wondered why so many of the girls I liked did like me, but only as a friend. Now EVERYTHING makes sense. Thank you.
EDIT: these replies are crazy. I did NOT say I don't want to be nice. I literally NEVER said that. Read the comment properly before replying please.
Also, small update: it worked.
Get a motorcycle and start seriously hitting the gym. Maybe a tattoo, I’m not about that but the other two are enough to get me to at least husband zone for some girls.
Back to the bench press and squat rack haha
Have you considered telling them how you felt?
@@jenkathefridge3933 Women only care about "how they feel" when it comes to relationships. The way you feel in irrelevant.
@@jenkathefridge3933Dawg if you are in the friendzone already confessing your feelings most of the time falls on deaths door.
From my experience it just makes things worse and at best you could just get yourself into a shortterm relationship.
The things I learned about myself watching this…. I’m speechless. Thank you for putting this into words
THANK YOU FOR LEARNING good god it is nice to finally see the weight come off people's backs
your videos are so good im going to recreate the drawing you drawn and study it for myself to improve @@hoe_math
Crazy how you lacked self awareness
As a woman myself I think that women that choose to be with the Bad Boy guy instead of the Prince Charming/Husband zone guy have a lot of personal work to do and a lot of trauma to heal. I’m definitely staying with the Prince Charming/Husband zone guy rather than with a Bad Boy guy who is not willing to give me the emotional support I need to keep improving myself and my life. I’ll definitely won’t be wasting my time in a relationship that is not going to last. Great video btw
I, me, myself, my, etc...
Self improvement, healing, support, etc...
Run Prince Charming, run!!
@@teaCupkk I'm so sorry, I'm not understanding what you want to say with that, could you explain yourself please?
@@surinbe The sickeningly frequent references to yourself, and the psycho-babble all point to you being self-absorbed. A narcissist. It's striking.
@@teaCupkk Knowing your self worth and what your needs are is not narcissist. Last time I checked wanting someone loyal and committed is not narcissistic.
@@Carolina-rd3gh However, being overly concerned with such intangibles as your self worth, your needs, etc.. makes you suspect. And when everything that comes out of your mouth is "Me, me, me, me.." - that's a dead giveaway.
I went to therapy for months trying to understand this about myself and a past relationship. And you did it in 20 mins. Thank you !
This man has been doing the research for years
There is one more layer to this you missed out. Effects with time.
What you said is right for picking the guy to be in a relationship with or to marry(for a woman).
Then comes another layer. Even if the guy is in the "Husband zone" or "Prince charming" zone and hence she is happy in the relationship/marriage, there are two other factors that come to influence with time.
1st one : Growth. More important, the guy has to show growth in all the mentioned fields which are more important to her ( Earn more with time, get higher position in job, more mentally tough as situations come, etc). As, being stagnant in these makes the brain feel maybe he's not that great with time.
2nd one: Relativity. Since human brains assess value relatively, if the couple moves into a social circle where every other guy is doing better in many departments than her boyfriend, she feels she can do better for herself in picking a partner.
So these two factors can make the guy go from Prince charming/Husband material to falling out of love with time.
This also applies to guys, but it's more in the physical attractiveness of their female partner and increases in their annoyance over time.
But high value women and men stay and try to change their husband material/keeper partner instead of cheating or breaking up.
This also works for friendzone, many people have ended up marrying people who were previously in the friendzone. In the end, most do this is nonsense and it just varies from person to person
He didn't say things couldn't change. He did, in fact, mention working on the things you can change like dress yourself better or workout. And just to go with your "falling out of love theme", men and women can really let themselves go after they link up. But at any given time, this still always applies.
It’s most likely that any person will be in a lot of quadrants at different times from another person’s perspective. You can 100% move around, and I thought that was kind of implied and even explained
Dude, I think you should get some kind of academic award for this.... This is so well crafted and on point.
I suggest "Honorary PhD" by some university (social science, or so).
(You may read this sarcastic - or not, if you want.)
He should be awarded Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize
@@saitougin7210 i think u mean hoenorary?
The contradiction between bad boys being the highest short-term value proposition solved.
Avoiding negative judgement and labels is a huge part of female psychology.
Prince charming comes with judgement and expectations, while the bad boy is pure fun.
Bad boys will still judge and demean though. I think its more of a lack of responsibility and chaos
it's fun and great untill your life becomes dangerous. Of course it's same for men, why there are so much online hoes who are simped for ? And most men would hate to be their real bf. Thing is they are a promise of more adventure.
No. Prince charming is the guy she WANTS to be seen with
Bad boy can be more fun because he doesn't need emotional responsabilty, its not an actual, serious relationship. There.
@@uhnborhn5032demand in a sexy and exciting way tho whereas prince charming is demand in the socially correct way, political correct way. Where bad boy demand is to be my toy. That’s fun
U can solve that by demand in a way a bad boy would. Put some leash on her , be a man with real boundaries, not a wimp who would let her do whatever she want and allow her to disrespect u however she like
@@jamessan3404 Men simp for women constantly. In both sexual and non-sexual contexts. Have you noticed how gynocentric society is?
nobody asked you to do this public service-but you did it anyway. thanks, man. this is masterful, and i can tell you’ve spent years analyzing the world around you.
Dude, you’ve got it. You speak clearly , have an illustration and don’t stutter. You’ve got a gem on your hands.
(Edit: this is a rant on why the 'nice guy' strategy is a waste of time.) If you're in the friendzone constantly, consider this: All the emotional support you're offering can be neatly wrapped up by a "thanks for listening". By expecting more than a thanks (as the "Nice guy" does..), you're basically expecting a customer to pay $50 for a $2 item - i.e. that will never ever translate to a woman wanting to fuck you for being supportive. You need to have intrinsic value to others first. Just something worthwhile about you. Then just make your intentions clear. If the woman wants what you're able to offer as a partner, then sex is usually something they'll trade for that. I know it sounds crude to make it sound so transactional but if your only merit is something you give away freely, why would anyone commit to you?
If you are in a relationship - you do definitely need to communicate and support your partner of course, just stop thinking that this is an effective way to get laid.
How would you describe an intrinsic value in the dating market? Hobbies, finances, looks?
BARS!!!
So caring for her even genuinely= 2 cents support.
It sounds transactionzl cause it completely is. The secobd you re into "show me you re worth it" you show you only about what he bring and provide. Don t cry after for being treated the same.
This is why I stopped offering my time and listening ability to people, and women in particular. While on its own its not very valuable as you put it, when its scare (and finding someone who actually listens and devotes time is scarce and difficult to find) poeple appreciate it way more when you actually lend it out, especially if they know you rarely lend it out.
@@unlimited971A hard truth that we all know in our subconscious to be true but many won't accept in the conscious is that ALL romantic relationships are conditional.
What makes this so godamn funny, is just how accurate it is.
Your work is incredible. Side note: It's actually a major advantage for men to have female friends who are honest. Especially attractive ones. You get to learn these truths through them and they can help you level up. Ask them for honest feedback on your style and your dating app profile.. they'll prob help you with that and it could be night and day difference for you on the dating apps/just walking around in public. Major confidence boost too
Yep, best way to get a new woman is to be seen with another one. Comes to that "pre-approval" thing women do so much, and their innate will to compete with each other.
This actually makes being in the "friendzone" with women you have no sexual interest in advantageous still. Doesn't matter, if she's still standing by your side, it'll gain you points with other women - so long as they don't realise you've never slept together. The important thing here is to give off the impression that you have, without saying as much, even if you haven't. Easy to do with a friend-zoner that fully trusts you.
You just need to make other women think the reason your just friends is because you're not interested in anything more with her, not the other way around. Remember if she thinks you're being disloyal, then the new woman'll be more attracted to you because that will give you bad-boy points.
It works, it really does.
This is also why it's really in your best interests to remain friends with your exs, so long as you don't continue to overinvest. Then you don't even need to pretend you've slept with them. You've spent time investing in them in the past, may aswell use them as a resource and still get something from it.
*EDIT:* Side-note, this advice only applies to men. If you are a woman looking for your ideal man, the opposite is true and is best to keep as few male contacts as possible.
It's a blessing and a curse
You get good info, and more access... but you also gonna hear stories that will scar you relationshipwise. The next time you are getting sweet on some young pretty thing... and you hear them say the word "backstage"... you are going to have her pretty little face superimposed on every nasty, debasing, sinful story you've ever heard from your attractive female friends.
You can tell yourself, "She's one of the good ones" all you want, but the more attractive women you meet, the less you will ever be able to trust an attractive woman.
That's why there's so many cuck$ out there married to dime-bags. The dimes have been having depraved thrilling sex since they were 14, and the cuck$ are totally into it.These dimes can't be with most men because those men are either too proud or too insecure to be with a woman with a "Dear Penthouse" past... but barring the very religious, they ALL have stories that will make you blush!
I sh!t you not, MOST dimebags are in the mile high club. MOST of them... and like 90% of them WILL BE by the time they're 30... even though they are not rich. Most men ABSOLUTELY CANNOT HANDLE those stories coming from the woman he loves. They cannot handle the fact that they are going to be giving her the least thrilling sex of her life, and they CERTAINLY can't handle having their woman going around telling people about it.
The only people that dimebags can really marry are older men, and kinkier men. Someone with who doesn't make them feel shame because at the end of the day, women are repulsed by accountability.
@@KotCR The fact that all what you said is true and works out is very sad and very depressing. I've seen it with my own eyes how women chase the bad boys, how they love (lust?) for the disloyal.
The disaster is that even very conservative and very religious and pious women fall for the bad guys and end up cheating on their very loyal husbands.
@@dott8775 This IS the curse of the secular, God-less society. Men and women brought this all unto themselves. GENESIS 3, 1- 20 applies.
Agree but it requires men to be realistic and not get themselves friendzoned by lusting after the attractive female friend.
I'm pretty sure men with older sisters do a lot better on dating because they have more interactions with females in a platonic way and it's someone who can be more honest.
In my experience, the "good guy" who lacks all "bad boy" is actually an unhealthy man who is overlooking some uncomfortable truths about himself. You gotta have self-awareness.
as a "good guy" who lacks all "bad boy", thats true i can confirm
can you explain what would that uncomfortable truths be?
Yeah, explain us
@@niedarle That being nice can often be people-pleasing (or manipulation) instead of actual kindness, for instance.
Very true, this is actually a very good point
I also think its not just "having everything in common with her" (the galaxy) I think a huge role actually plays "Simmilar values on life" like wishing for things to be done the right way always, or thinking its bad to waste something, or wanting to live life a certain way and having certain philosophy.
I guess it's also about certain wishes in a certain time, like women have wishes during period and pregnancy. Same in daily life but they're not as sophisticated as then.
good take
And the preferences switch moment by moment with no real repeating pattern
well, that's why he called it the galaxy. he said it could mean anything for any girl.
The galaxy is hilarious xD
I like how neutral and non-judgemental you were.
In the chart the Friend Zone/Ick/Creep/Ghost column can actually be thought of as the “No Sex” column; the Husband/Settle/Bad/Mistake column can be thought of as the “Duty Sex” column; and the Prince Charming/Good/Mid/Bad Boy column can be thought of as the “Crazy Wild Sex” column.
that like their keeper sleeper sweeper
No? Women have different types of sex for different reasons that vary from person to person. This is too general
People in secure and loving relationships can and do have good sex. There's a cohort of women who can't have good sex without first being in a loving and secure relationship with a man. They don't all want passionate quickies with a stud. The husband category represents good sex as long as it doesn't downgrade into the settling category.
The main point is the the wall of sexual access is between Ghost/Creep/Ick/FriendZone and Mistake/Bad/Settle/Husband.
Regardless of the kind of sex taking place in the other categories that wall is consistent.
As a ghost, but more oddball than creep... we do get hookups now and again so really we're more like haunted sex machines instead of ghosts... which is still better than being some grade A sucker. Also sex is clouding your judgement... you can be a hopeless romantic, just don't romanticize the hopelessness.
This is actually so genius. We all know this subconsciously but to see it all laid out so plainly?
Thank you so much. I think this will save me a lot of confusion and heartbreak.
What I love about your videos, and what separates you from a lot of the intel bull, is that you realise girls and guys are about as vain as each other. We’re both apes, with often disappointingly flawed/self-centered lizard brains… And not a whole lot of it is conscious or something that can be helped.
Lotta truth in this one, that a whole bunch of guys really need to hear. Keep it up!
It's not even about similarity or who is better or worse. It's just about what the actual mistakes are. If you call out mistakes everyone appreciates it
@@hoe_mathOr get defensive 🤷♂️
@@hoe_math
True... well, at least most people do. 👍🏾
Specific tangent: The self-centeredness is extremely accurate-I even find myself feeling disappointed with others and how everything must always be about them. Then I realize I’m doing the same thing and so is everyone else! Even my comment is just from my angle alone; Everyone’s experiences and words are from the lens of their views and outlook specifically. I dunno, I’m just rambling on but it’s kinda silly to me, everything we do is like trying to look PAST someone else in front of you, so you can better see yourself in the mirror. It’s all about us, guys! Us, us, us!!
Your pessimism fails you. Neither men nor women are vain, and good culture can absolutely fix anyone even considering looking at dating like what hes described.
This video deserves a Nobel Prize. A Pulitzer at minimum.
This video is such an improvement since the last time someone came up with "Hot Crazy Matrix" guide. But there is a minor correction which I would like to suggest: the so-called "Galaxy" traits that women are attracted to actually exists not only in Good Guy but also the Bad Boy scale. There are always outliers in their sexual preferences which are outside looks and masculinity, and also not coincide with Good Guy traits as well.
Hot Crazy Matrix was more about how much Crazy you were willing to accept to get the Hotness.
The Hot Crazy was originally a joke in How I Met Your Mother
I was thinking this, too. If you're a left leaning woman, you're not going to find an alt-right militia guy as scoring bad guy points, but you definitely might with an alt-right woman
Dude far more people need to hear this, both men and women. Like seriously this would solve so many issues in dating for people if they just understood each other.
Women wouldn’t listen but yes, every man needs to be taught this starting from the age of 13
I think people understand eachother more than they pretend to. The problem is, too many are too self absorbed to care.
@@IRefuseToUseThisStupidFeature It isnt that simple in my opinion. Look it is like losing weight for example. Like everyone understands it is good for you, as you say people understand each other. However, actually losing weight people dont understand it really why they should do it enough to make them do it. There is a difference between understanding something and truly understanding it. Like if two people understood perfectly what their action in the present lead to in the future, so much so that they could see the happiness or the pain of the future so clearly they could feel it, then there would be no issue in acting. But really we cannot do that so we have to take a leap of faith and do small actions we know will lead to good.
The first point you are making I agree on, the second point not. For people could say the exact same for men and women that both are too self absorbed and that is why the dating market looks like it does. But really it isnt as simple as that. Making such a comment dispenses with reflection and further gives no solution. Thus it cannot be the right answer. If the solution to the problem cannot be found in the problem, then it is the wrong problem.
That doesnt mean I know what the problem is, but the problem has one characteristic which is that it generates self absorbed people, but the solution isnt to deal with self absorbing characters, but the thing that creates them and sustains them. And that can be a problem on many levels, and if you actually deep dive into the problem you will see it is nested and tangled with other problems both up and down in abstractions. But if you choose the right abstraction that people want to change and that is actually changeable, then you can solve all those problems in one sweep. That isnt easy, if it was easy it would already have been done. But if you find that, it is equivalent to finding the truth or a new physics law, a human law. Soemthing about humans that cannot be changed so you have to change the environment. For look really if you took a person from 1000 years ago and placed them in todays society, it is highly likely they would be a drug addict, alchohol addict, porn addict, whore, man child, lazy, hopeless, depressed, you name it. So the problem isnt really us but the environment, however the environment wont change until we change. So it still comes down to us. Really if men were better, the dating market wouldnt be this way. IF women were better the dating market wouldnt be this way. But it is and it isnt improving. Which means the environment is pushing them in this direction. So you need to create an environment that easier aligns them with their true desires and an environment all want to partake in so that seemingly over 1 year the whole dating market would change, just like internet changed the world.
News flash most women already know it they just chose not to look at or think about it. I have pointed out the hypocrisy to some I have dated before and the response is always one of 2 answers: shut up! Or f**k you! Signalling they know about it and have no intention whatsoever of fixing it. 😂😂😂 Then I usually say I love you anyways. Now what are you going to do to make it up to me? 😈😂😎
As I'm already married and a father, I will DEFINITELLY give this to my kids as part of their "relationship education". I wish I saw this when I was a teenager, it would save me from spending time in that damned "friend zone". I was too nice and good, romantic gentleman thinking all women were ladies who liked roses and their hand kissed, until the point when I said "fuck it" and allowed my inner bad boy to take over. I've put myself, my dignity, self-respect first, and automagically things started changing...
"Automagically" Fun word!
You were being manipulative. Man came up with the word friend zone. Y’all are just sitting there waiting for an opportunity to pounce. So it’s disingenuous
I literally just entered another phase of feeling lonely and wanting a girlfriend after I abstained from one for so long, and then I hit your video.
And for that, thank you so much! Everything is actually so much clearer now and makes so much sense!
I feel like I can actually focus on what I'm lacking and succeed instead of fiddling around those concepts not knowing what to do next.
I definitely need to work on my confidence and smoothness more, and I knew that before but I wasn't sure about anything and I also tried to work on irrelevant stuff and just got burned out.
Honestly having it all mapped out so clearly is amazing and I cannot thank you enough for that.
I think a perfect fictional example of maxing out on masculine bad boy traits while also being low in looks, is Tony Soprano. If you’ve ever seen The Sopranos, you know what I mean. That guy got all kinds of GORGEOUS women throwing themselves at him, and he was a fat Italian man with a seriously receding hairline in his 40’s-50’s.
I always wondered how he did it. When you said everything you said about masculine bad boy traits, it clicked. He encapsulates all of that.
yes bingo
You’re taking about a movie character plus the women on my wanted him for his money and statues. Those are not the type of women you want.
@@ilikepancakes2368 I didn’t say those are the women I want. And a lot of them didn’t want him for his money. I’ve seen the whole show and several women didn’t even get money out of him, they just found him irresistible. I know it is fiction, but I’m just saying it’s a perfect example of what Hoe Math described. (And the Sopranos probably has the most authentic portrayal of humans of any show ever.)
@@king_supreme1102 it's a fictional show.......
What about 'prince'?
So that's why when they ask "Where are all the husbands"
We say " Check your friendzone"
They are literally next to each other
This is the most comprehensive explanation of how dating and relationships work that mesa has ever seen
lmao
didnt read your name or look at your icon.. got to mesa and was like... pssh who do you think you are jar ja.... oh
@@cole6396 ohsa yes
The key takeaway from this video should be to internalize this information, understand it at an unconscious level, and then don’t think about it at all day to day. Just act that way, be confident, look appropriate, and never be too nice as a man. _Always_ have an edge. _Always._ it’s as simple as that.
Or be yourself and curve any woman that makes you feel like you have to be anything other than who you are.
@@CannedFunkMusichave fun with that
Or don’t bother with them at all. Who on earth would want to validate todays women and the way they treat men, all with an army of media figures and government behind them, enticing divorce etc. Nah, no chance. Maybe 10,15 years ago.. but now? Pfft.
@@CannedFunkMusic this only works if you are high enough on the looks scale
no, being nice to your woman is among most important for us to consider a serious relationship with you. but at the same time, confidence, dominance and smoothness is important on top. don‘t be less nice to a woman you see as a keeper, it makes you sink into the settling or situationship category more likely.. at least it‘s how I perceive it. Good luck everyone in finding your keeper/prince charming 😊
This makes perfect sense from my biological standpoint, and that women would be attracted to the bad boy versus the good guy. The bad boy will go out and kill the bear to protect the tribe. The bad boy will go out and kill the Buffalo, etc. the bad boy is protection. Something she cannot do herself. The good guy is how she wants to be treated so you had to be willing to go out and commit crime to protect her or provide for her, but be nice to her.
I had a similar conversation with my sister remarking about her ex-husband . I told her that I thought her husband was an asshole. She said “he is but not to me..” and that was my first hint that I have been doing it wrong all this time
This was absolutely fascinating. You seem like a very intuitive and creative person. Also, I love the graph and how well animated it was
I don’t think I have ever seen a more accurate depiction of dating standards. Brilliant
What makes dating so difficult is that both the guy and the girl are trying to date someone a bit better than themselves. It’s only possible if both parties have different values in a relationship. If a guy values beauty and a girl primarily values money then it could work but if both sides value the most important things the same then it’s a problem
I really appreciate you talking about this without painting women as immoral or shallow for having the preferences we do and why. I braced myself for venom before watching this and was very relieved. Obviously individuals are nuanced, but this is very accurate.
When I was in high school, I had stumbled upon red pill 'culture' on reddit and slowly/unconsciously internalized it. I was in denial about what I liked and valued because I felt guilty for having a preference for people I find attractive over super nice guys who didn't do it for me. As a result, I ended up entertaining relationships that I didn't truly want to be in, and ended up hurting people.
I have compassion for anyone watching this video genuinely trying to understand dating dynamics. I think a lot of women aren't even fully conscious of this. I like how you laid it out without an agenda to change it or shame either party. It's true. Find your person and get out of the game.
Corny side note: a trend I see now as a young adult that I didn't identify as a teenager with no life experience: the happiest people are the most themselves. It's hard to find love when you're not the person you want to be living the life you want to live. Do the work to get to that point.
This is really fantastic work! As a woman, I confirm that the "galaxy" is a big part of us. I met my bf because we like a lot of things and that immediately boosted his good guy score, so I continued being with him and it's only a matter of time to see his bad boy side (not in a negative way). But this is a good analysis. Great work!
No one asked
@@paccawacca4069 hater
@@paccawacca4069technically the creator did when he encouraged people to share their experiences in the comment section.
@@paccawacca4069 Quick incel, a woman. Attack!!
@@gustavojg755we can tell he’s the ick/creep guy
An important note: it's hypothesized that one of the reasons women subconsciously gravitate towards Dark Triad traits is because those men are generally more capable of violence and defense of their family / property. It doesn't necessarily mean women are psycho and want psycho men, but it provides value despite the vanity and power. Not to say there aren't just some psycho chasing women out there but I digress
bullshit with no scientific evidence
Its pretty universal that having power, physical or abstract is good for the prosperity of your offspring, every animal has rituals to demonstrate vigor, power and dominance against other males for a reason. Humans are no different.
Completely bogus. "Dark Triad traits" by themselves mean nothing. If they did, women would gravitate towards the awkward anime edgelord, but they don't.
Let me tell you, as a married 33 year old. People in general like confidence. Confidence is not being a "bad boy", it's being secure of yourself and carrying yourself in a self-assured way. And you can only gain that through life experience - put yourself out there, do stuff, and confidence comes by itself.
The reason people believe women like "bad boys" is because those guys are *also* confident in their rude personality. It's not the "dark traits" women like, it's how those guys are comfortable with themselves.
@@martinn.6082and being attractive.
@@notsojharedtroll23 That's a given, and taking care of that is also important. I just talked about the "dark traits" bs because the OP talked about it.
Imagine telling a girl: "be a woman, be more girly, be more cute and submissive!", just like we hear our entire lives: "Be a man, man up". I dont know if it would be more upsetting or confusing.
Both sexes are told wayyy too much of this already :( Genuinely. Too many women are already being told and grow up with such comments regularly, and I've seen as a woman myself how men in my close life have gone through the same-reverse situation.
It's not right. Equality and ending _toxic_ masculinity is a good thing for everyone. Men are human, are people who have emotions (beyond just anger!! Anger is an emotion), and they deserve emotional support. You shouldn't have to feel like you have nowhere to turn when things are really hurting. You shouldn't have to feel like you have to be perfect, otherwise you're undeserving of existing. And women shouldn't be treated like they will never be rational beings, and their only true value in life is to be free labor (emotional, domestic work, sexual) for a man.
girls are told this literally all the time. earlier today my mom told me to shave my legs, so i can get a boyfriend aka be more girly/attractive so you can be submissive to a man
@@sugoish9461’toxic masculinity’ doesn’t exist. Neither does ‘toxic femininity’. There are normal, good people and there are toxic, self-absorbed people. There is absolutely no need to make a difference between the sexes in this.
@@marktheprussian I don't think it's a difference between the sexes - it's a social construct that has been perpetuated and made to be forcibly linked to the sexes, and it's awful. Men can be toxic, and they can be amazing, mature and emotional individuals. And the same for women.
I'd say toxic femininity would be the typical "Mean Girls" (movie) inspired behaviors - putting others down, speaking behind others' back, etc about their looks specifically, in order to try to boost your own status. There are a lot of harmful stereotypes for men and women, that are toxic idealized behaviors that children are taught growing up - even without anyone _specifically_ trying to.
Edit: changed perpetrated -> perpetuated (english is my 2nd language)
Yeah, people like different types of people and it shouldn't just be shoved down everyone's throats to act their gender. Femboys and tomboy are popular for a reason
All I know is for men to win , you have to have en edge on everything, style , personality, masculinity half bad boys half good person .. that will land you in the husband zone nicely .. this analysis is above any psychological book I have read when it come to know women … Nitzche is rollin in this grave right now
As someone who's never been in a relationship before, this is helpful.
You going to be in relationships now?
Yup.. It rly was helpful to finally know the reason why I'm being a ghost in front of woman and now before death, I atleast could be a mistake or creep
That is right, time to work out, dress nicely and commit some crimes to be able to get some bitches
You will learn this is not applicable to all women as you start dating. However, if you date on Tinder, bars/clubs, etc (hookup culture) you'll find its applicable to almost 100% of the women you find.
Yeah, now I know the best I can be is a bad/mistake. It's too much of a headache to deal with these creatures.
When i turned 30 i decided that i would never bend over backwards to try and understand women on account of the possibility that most times women don't even understand themselves.
So i put in more energy into making sure that they understood me instead.
This approach had a 50% success rate because some girls were very responsive while others needed everything to be entirely about them and nothing else.
I believe that when you make yourself clearly understood as a man, you kind of set a standard for women to decide how they would interact with you going forward.
That's smart. You set the standards and boundaries in the *beginning* of the relationship. You gained respect from the right ones.
Absolutley, this should be something everyone does
You became more masculine & a “bad boy”, which made you more attractive!
How’d you do that? I’m 22 and learning 😅
Nice vague meaningless advice 😑🖕
I'm 23, yet my understanding of dating is minimal. This helped me realize that I already have qualities that would make me an attractive partner.
My problem is that I haven't been confident in my understanding of what makes me potentially attractive to women, so I would end up being as nice as I could, but my confidence would crumble quite easily for one reason or another. "Nice guy" + low confidence/self-esteem is not a good look.
This video breaks it down in a way that makes sense, without trending into pickup artist territory.
Get a hobby, build up relations and you become confident.
Ignore @halleffect5439. Look up looksmaxxing for men of your ethnicity, get a workout routine, and fix your hair. That's the only way your confidence will go up. Not philosophical mumbo jumbo.
As a woman, I think this chart is at least flawed. (I'm not saying it's _entirely wrong_ because I'm sure there are women it might apply to. Though, for what it's worth, I do not know any where it would). But the truth it, "what makes you attractive to women" depends on the specific woman and what she values. My most recent "ooh, I think I'm in trouble/developing feelings" moment that made me seriously consider my now-boyfriend, then-friend in a new light, was when he separated the plastic from the paper on an envelope to properly recycle each. No dating book could tell you that, but it's something I value, and noticing that we aligned in that way gave me a push, mentally.
Of course my boyfriend and I share more similarities and aligned values than only that, but bottom line is, any guy that tells you that without great looks and "dominance/power/..." you'll definitely be put in the friendzone by all women, they're either wrong or lying. A shared value system is far more important and of the entire "masculinity" list, the only two that matter at all in my experience (and I'm friends with a lot of women) are confidence and smoothness, and I think they're both somewhat misnomers or at least don't mean what many men think they mean.
*Confidence* doesn't mean "show off how great you are" or "fake confidence/ego". What's attractive is when you're _interesting_ (which doesn't mean you have to already have done anything extraordinary btw) and _interested_ - have opinions, hobbies, anecdotes, interests, ideally in many different things, and talk about them, and let her in, take her along. And be _interested_ in your partner's opinions / hobbies / ... and be open to trying them/doing them together.
*Smoothness* is a bit less a misnomer, yes, it means being charismatic, witty, and quick with a clever response. But it only works if it rings true and fits your character. If it doesn't feel authentic, smoothness is useless. Don't be afraid to be a bit silly, don't always take yourself seriously, this is just about a certain lightness and ease in your conversations.
@@Casutama lol
@@Casutamathank you because I'm tired of people believing this crap tbh .
It’s crazy how accurate this is. I know for myself, I am commonly described as a very nice guy. I am pretty attractive when it comes to my facial features, but I can stand to lose a few pounds. I also am not in the best financial place in life. In other words, I have very little when it comes to bad guys traits and a lot more when it comes to good guy traits. I can tell you the most successful i have been with women was during a darker period of my life when I was far more of a bad boy and was in more shape or during the pandemic when we were getting all that aid and I bought my own car. Even the latter only gave me a relationship that wasn’t even great. This video is inspiring me to get back to the gym, get back into fighting, do more to stand on my own two feet, and don’t hesitate to do the things to give me a bit more power in life. It’s not actually necessarily a bad thing to be more masculine or look good. It just means you are doing the right things to get power. I’m a hopeless romantic, but if I want to have a chance at having that fairytale romance, I gotta start acting like a prince charming
Keepers: A beautiful woman
Sleepers: A beautiful woman with 2 kids.
Sweepers: Fat Chicks
Or whores.
Good Guy = Beta Bux
Bad Boy = Chad
How many guys actually ever get any chance at all with a 'beautiful' woman?
@@willshad Most beautiful women are entitled nightmares.
This man understands women more than women understand themselves
I still don't understand how my attraction works 💀 still hoping for someone who can explain how mine works but still haven't found one
@@breezyafternoon9145 Attraction is very complex, much like people are. Many things go into whether you find someone attractive. It really can't be simplified into basic categories like the video states. Perhaps for some people it truly is that basic but I doubt that's the majority. A little task for you is to think about all the people you find attractive (fictional/ real life, whatever) and write out a list of all the little things you find attractive about them. You might see some overlap in their appearance, the way they behave, the way they treat you (or their partner, family, etc) etc. Learning about yourself and your preferences is a life long thing, plus it changes as you age and experience things.
he absolutely does not, he just assumes. men are naturally lower on empathy compared to women. whether you like it or not, you'll always end up making up a stereotype on your head and assume it's true except actually giving effort to understand an individual woman. this is why this evopsych bs always fails and never works in real life.
I wonder if one of the things that helps some women decide whether a particular man should be a “friend” or a “husband” is what her friends and family think about him.
I found in my life that if the family and trusted friends want the two of you to be together and you respect their opinions, it can make a huge difference.
And you also have the security that they will provide advice or emotional support to keep you both together when life gets difficult in your future.
because he is in the Settling zone, and the positive opinions from friends and family boost his "Presentable" and that pushes him into husband zone
It's all in the chart)
This would be galaxy stuff, which depends on the woman in question.
@@AnnoyingMobileGames most women value family and long term friendships above a boyfriend, sometimes above a husband (like the saying that when a woman in your wife circle get divorced she causes a chain reaction of divorces)
It depends on the woman. Lots of women are Romeo Juliet types. If the family likes the guy too much, she loses arousal (he loses bad boy points).
I think, girls seeing the guy have great relationships with his own family (including extended family) has a greater effect.
And that’s such a bad thing. A lot of women approach dating as if their a god choosing wether to let a peasant into heaven what they are nothing of the sort. “Settling” as if you’re better than. Dating will never be good until we lose these attitudes
The good news is that I haven't made any serious mistakes with women. The bad news is, that the search for true love is over, because it doesn't exist.
It does exist but it's not worth searching for. You'd be more successful trying to find diamonds by digging with a plastic shovel in your garden. Love is pure luck, I did the math and there is around 5000 people for you in the entire world, considering you meet aprox. 25 000 women in your entire lifetime the chance of finding love is obscure. There's 0.005 women you will meet that will be the love of your life, that means it would take 500 lifetimes, or 50 000 years for you to find 1, ONE, love of your life, strictly mathematically speaking.
This is the most detailed, well thought out map I've ever seen. The analysis of it was explained very well, too.
The best and most complete relationship guide I have ever seen.
This explanation is genuinely mind-altering and has put me on the path toward betterment.
This is the best analysis summary of dating relationships between men and women I've seen. Very entertaining.
This actually made a lot of sense, when I first started dating my ex earlier this year I was in a better place financially and she wanted me to commit more than I did, when I gave her what she wanted I started to slip up and lose my masculinity / money and she felt like she was settling, she never really wanted us to be public even when she was more attracted to me. She had too much attention from men in the past and was even texting her ex while we dated. I lost interest when she told me everything about her past. There was nothing either one of us could do to fix it. Make sure you vet who you're about to be monogamous with.
You’re the only creator I wait for to post
Keep up the grind
On to the next one !
As a student of Kevin Samuels, I’m mentally energized and find a lot of joy in this video! Subscribed and about to dive into all your content
As a guy who finds the idea of anything other than a keeper repulsive, I feel a little more assured that the chart isn't all necessarily part of everyone's spectrum. Because I want nothing to do with the ones who'd lean to the lower side of the chart. Be as it may, this helps me to think about and evaluate it in more concrete terms, great stuff.
Repulsive huh.
Okey...
@@ramonalexferreira6191 An excellent addition to the debate, thank you for your insight.
I feel the same way, I found the video very insightful into some situations I've had with women in my life.
I found a girl in church I thought was cute and timid, had no other men in her life and had a few hobbies and skills that fascinated me a little. But she was from divorced parents and so I rightly thought her unsuitable for a keeper. Then as time went on, unbeknownst to me, she started sleeping around in multiple clandestine situationships. She became both more confident and broken, which for some reason felt attractive to me, until I figured her out and she became a sweeper to me.
Her looks improved a little because I told her to grow her hair long, but her personality became ugly and there were both guys she slept with and other guys she dragged along in friendzone. I was, to her, probably in husband zone, friend zone, settling, gold digging and creep during different times. Our so-called friendship lasted from early 2014 to late 2018. I never slept with her, but that possibility did intrigue me during the final phase of our acquaintance.
If you want to keep a girl that you like you should be able to satisfy her, which is difficult to do if you've never had a relationship before. You need to engage in and learn how to manage relationships.
This video made me realize I'm in the sleeper zone with someone(minus the actual sleeping with part), now I know to drop him instead of wasting time holding on to hope.
if I can teach this to ONE woman it was worth it but Instead it was 4500
@@hoe_mathit was worth it, thank u very much ❤
Thank you for this info, definitely been in the sleeper zone with this man, you cleared my denial right on up 🫶🏽
And not a single woman here will learn to do anything to bring value to a man's life and repeat the cycle
@@jimmusthegrimmace what are you even on about that has nothing to do with my comment.
As a woman. I just learned a lot about myself in this video lol thanks! Makes perfect sense!
Do you think this should be modified? These charts always feel a bit weird when they are only created by men. Things like this should be a collaboration imo
found the 40 year old overweight female@@nikolaslastname9480
Yeaj this was represented from one side
@@connorpatrickmcfarlane7634as a female I think this chart is extremely accurate. Only thing that I thought might need a tweak is moving friendzone below gold digger- someone on the main comment thread mentioned this. This is bc a woman will sleep with a man buying her lots of things and not with someone she’s friendzoned. Obviously this would place him ligher on the ‘good/like’ axis. Also please understand not all women are willing to sleep with a man for $$$. Just as not all men are willing to have a harem. Maybe a third dimension which is like a likelihood distribution on the z-axis which describes how likely either situation is to occur. Then that would convey the prevalence of each box in the general population. Bc each of these things do not happen at the same frequencies.
lol, you need a Man to learn about your self...
Thank you to all the women who are admitting that this is accurate. Your honesty is greatly appreciated 🫂.
This legend took the Hot-Crazy scale and amped it up to 11.
This is amazing 😭 accurate to my own observations and I started dying laughing at the end when he kept panning to the male and female smileys to represent his conversation w the Uber girl LMFAO 💀
I have limited cinematography tricks
It's ridiculous how accurate this is. 😂 You had my attention the whole time! Well done! 👏
I was so confused my entire(not very long yet) life regarding women behaviour, like I had all those unorganised assumptions based on my experience/observations, but when I watched your videos and THIS ONE in particular... Damn. Just Damn, man. Everything makes sense and falls into place! Truly outstanding content
My parents were strict about watching TV. my mom would tell us to go play outside. It's probably why all this was intuitive when even I was young.
I think its movies that are giving guys a skewed perception of the true nature of women.
In most movies you have a nice guy, and at the end he gets rewarded with a wholesome pretty girl for being a good boy. Guys follow that fictional recipe, but all he gets is listening to the "wholesome girl" complain to him about "a-hole" after "a-hole" that passes through his life
Cabinet vs Galaxy is a brilliant analogy
Regarding the different zones for men, the Hot/Crazy index can be applied to each zone with a differing line per one’s standards
Ex: nobody below an 8 in the keepers zone, nobody below a 6 in the sleepers etc.
Just a thought
yes! hot/crazy is basically the same as "looks/personality." I have a few disagreements with the hot/crazy index, but that's basically the same as this. you could also think of 'crazy' as including 'personality' and also 'other men' and maybe the cabinet, too.
The way you explain a bunch of complicated information with daily life examples and terminology is just pure awesomeness. It is amazing!
Absolutely loved your explaination.
You should definitely get all the drawings contested to pictures, I would definitely hang them on my walls. Great conversations could be had in their presence!
Keep up the interesting work!!
Best
AGREED!
The good boy/bad boy 2 axis thing is a work of genius. It explains so much. My only tweak would be that the lines between the boxes should be blurry and I'd maybe put Gold Digger higher than friendzone, because I feel like I've flitted between friendzone and settling before, but definitely not been rich enough for a gold digger. On the male side, I actually think we also have 2 axes, but only really in looks. There are girls that look really "pretty", but they don't turn me on, and then there are girls that would turn me on in seconds, but I would never marry or bring home to meet my mother. The ideal would be somewhere in-between. I could be wrong, but I don't think men are attracted a "bad girl personality" though. At least, I'm not. I don't think? I'd probably need to do some self reflection on that. haha
There is definitely a line between friend zone and settling
You didn't watch closely. The glod digger box also has /ick. If you are not rich and you are at that box then you're just an ick.
On your second point, he mentioned that a girl has to have the two requirements of personality and at least an standard beauty along with low male attention (past or present) and maybe a few things in the cabinet to become marriage material.
Although a lot of men are desperate and will marry anything, but those are already men unattractive to women.
Bad girl aesthetics but sweet personality 🥴
Youre probably just having trouble figuring out what you like in personality. Its the personality that decides if you want to bring her home to the family, not if she's cute.
@@bunnieskitties293 both. She has to meet at least some standard of beauty because that's the woman you're gonna intermix genes with.
I just wanna say for women stuck in the “Sleeper” zone with a guy they care about deeply….
It doesn’t mean you’re not attractive. You could be the best thing they will ever have and they may adore your love. Something to remember is that many people are blocked off to love entirely. They’re avoidant, afraid, and resistant to commitment. Deep down they want love and will keep it around in the Sleeper zone but are scared to death of losing their freedom or really just scared altogether of love. True love is uncomfortable, because you can always lose it, and you show someone the deepest, ugliest parts of yourself in love.
Maybe it’s the same for men stuck in situationships with women too who’d like to be the husband / Prince Charming.
I truly honestly believe this through years of analyzing a past boyfriend of mine who’d push me away whenever we were in a good spot. Some people just have barbed wired walls around the hearts, even hiding it from themselves ☺️ it’s not always you and your “score”.
I would switch gold diggery with friend zone and add "confusion zone" to Prince charming. If you're too attractive and act too good you actually confuse the girl making her believe you either must be less attractive than you seem or you have hidden intentions meaning you're not that good of a person. This problem can be addressed with showing and announcing publicly your commitment in an attractive manner but it's not always effective and could have a short lasting effect depending on the girl's nature of thinking.
I agree with you, because the opposite of the gold digger zone is the bad boy zone. Being used for sex only vs. Being used for resources only. Also you are easier to fall into the friend zone than into the gold digger zone.
That will lead to the “So why are you single?”
You are so spot on about the confusion zone vs. prince charming. Which you are received as is a function of their past and self confidence. If they've dated a bunch of bad boy guys and your masculinity is well intentioned, they blow up the relationship by presuming bad intentions.
it’s the “charming effect”
*_Prince PTSD_* zone, or PPTSD for short@@bazookacat8421
You must understand how helpful this video has been to me and I just finished it not even a minute ago. You are a genius and this is true hoe science
I do understand. The amount of effort that it took me to formulate this in my head is probably roughly equal to what I'm taking off of everyone's back who reads it. I hope we can all fix our shit now
This is digital gold. I'm going to use this chart and video to start evaluating relationships because this makes total sense and will probably help me to help others, too. You have a gift, my dude. Thanks for posting!
One thing this chart doesn’t cover. Is that women are choosing themselves now. And that’s where men are confused. Another problem is you would rather rely on a chart. Instead of really getting to know somebody.
I wish I could like this video multiple times. A clearer, more concise explanation of attraction dynamics than "The Rational Male" or any other explanation I've encountered so far. Pure gold, keep it up.
My only criticism of this chart/map is the time phase aspect of this that TRM does cover well, the infamous SMV chart and general phases of woman hood. I think this map applies more to women about 18 - 27 years old. After that, the good guy scale gets more important to women as their looks and fertility start to decline. Even the friend zone guys will start to look like husband material after this point as they can at least provide investment.
THANK YOU. FINALLY someone pointing out the difference between Lust based and love based "relationships". Everything I've seen so far, from intervies to reddit stories seem to have been lust based stories. Of course, you get to hear the drama and such more often for clicks and likes, so you see the bad ones more often. But no one pointed that our before so cleanly. THANK YOU MY MAN!!!!!!! 💪💪💪💪💪
I worked my way up to the husband class, but then she „lost her feelings for me“ and ditched me for a more exiting bad/settling one. She wanted me to stay in the friend zone of course, but I managed to escape from a relationship which I would now call a 2 year long sweeper.
You can't retroactively change the category of the relationship. Either she was a sweeper to begin with or she was a sleeper/keeper who got away.
@@emperortgp2424 You are right (kinda). I didn't express myself precisely.
During the relationship she was between sleeper and keeper I guess, since I didn't try to hide her, but I wasn't particularly proud talking about her either. Now after the relationship ended, I no longer want to talk about her with anyone and don't really want people to know I was in a relationship with her.
I understand "sweeper" "sleeper" and "keeper" as ones attitude towards a person, which can of course change over time.
This is some of the most helpful content I have seen on this platform, maybe even on the entire internet. Thank you for your work
I had never watched anything as equally funny and enlightening as this! 😂😂😂
Very important to remember that the attraction scales (Men, and Good / Bad for Women) are still subjective, but the scales do hold true for the most part.
Regardless of how looks is subjective. It's still impossible to ignore what puts a guy in the friend zone. This video helps guys how not to get in the friend zone and how women actually choose mates.
I thought this was going to be dumb af but from my experience this is actually pretty true for the most part. I’m probably in the bad zone tbh.
Thinking back in my history I can say this chart lines up perfectly. I wasn’t even conscious of the women I only viewed as sleepers and sweepers. It makes so much damn sense. Hoemath is a genius
I am 5'8, and have a girlfriend of 2 years who is 5'10. I had severe social anxiety when we met, and can barely bench 130 lbs. I am like the very stereotype of a "nice guy" (literally in college to be a nurse). I wear nice clothes, and most women and men who meet me think I'm gay.
Based on this I should be in the friendzone, and should have been for the last 2 years. I think this chart definitely has some credibility to it, but don't jeopardize being your genuine self because you're scared you aren't enough of a "bad boy".
no one is saying every one is the same. he literally explained that lol.
You're the definition of "exception that proves the rule". Lucky guy!
haha thats hilarious you literally just described my entire life. Glad im not the only exception!
She might be on birth control
Not the iud but the pill
That conversation you described near the end of the video is amazing. I think the way to make women "get" it is very close to the way you asked, but it would be more effective if you were to follow up your question with "is there anything I could do to get you to take me over him".
When she says no, then you apply it to her situation. There is NOTHING she can do to make him drop the harem, just like there is NOTHING you can do to marry her.
I used to play hockey and be in shape, I got in a car accident/wheelchair for 11 months and it's hard to train ever since but I kept eating like back then so I became both overweight and somewhat physically limited. I still have the smoothness/confidence of back then. I cringe every time I see an article or piece of public discourse blaming men for holding women up to high physical standards, causing ED epidemics and so on. The only men with high physical standards are the very few very hot ones and it is women's problem if they only care about these very men's demands.
Going from fab to flab I now know that ALL interractions with women, whether romantic or just stricly professionnal, are affected by a change in physical fitness. There isn't any more eagerness to please me, even in just a functionnal/professionnal setting. When I first had my accident, I had all kinds of privileges with the nurses and they kept in touch with me for awhile but if I came there already flab I would've been treated the same as old ass men shitting they pants all day long. My savior in this day and age is confidence and smoothness developped in my early days - that totally gives me a few points on the bad boy stuff.
The pressure to invest time is men's ;
The pressure to chase the right way is men's ;
The pressure to get to know every detail about the other one is men's ;
The pressure to get rich, dominant, powerful is men's ;
The pressure to behave and be confident is men's ;
THE PRESSURE TO BE HOT AND FIT is men's ;
The real pressure is on us. Stop complaining in the media and improve like attractive men do.
BOOM. women have NO IDEA what this is like. I didn't know I could be likable at all until I got in shape. And then women were like... They were like toys or slaves they just did whatever I wanted. And now I'm ugly again and no one likes me anymore
Good Guy = Beta Bux
Bad Boy = Chad
*Moral of the story:* Just be Chad
Women are just like cats. They do not respect you until you name them after Chinese food menu items. Effectively.
I like how men only took 5 mins to explain while women took 15 mins
Men are simple.
Women are a mess
Yes, because evolutionarily speaking, women have a lot more risk to take on in relationships than men do. Pregnancy, while natural, is still very dangerous. And women are naturally physically weaker. So they have to do all this mental calculation to determine the safest probable outcomes, for themselves and their future offspring.
I'm in a loop where I'm too busy with work which drains me and makes me not want to pursue a relationship but at the same time I'm tired and want to be with someone that understands me-- my previous relationship of 8 months failed because of this exact routine and even now I don't think I'm ready for a relationship as I'm still stuck in the same work routine, respect to those who work 9 to 6 and still find time to invest in a relationship.
Hello me
This is spot on and very insightful. Under Masculinity I'd add "Competence" as a trait, that's something that one has influence on and is considered highly attractive. Also you could add another square after the "bad boy" on the bottom line, for "evil", since one can take it too far on that end.
That reminds me of the woman at my old work who liked bad boys but was also a bit dim. She got into a relationship with a drug dealer and none of the men that the gossip reached were even slightly surprised that he started knocking her about. Seems she found the 'evil' square.
@@spankeyfish this explains why some women even wrote marriage proposals to known murderrers who are/were in jail.
bad is evil
I think some girls with twisted or undeveloped personalities find "evil" guys incredibly attractive and be negatively influenced as well (as in: evil is equivalent to bad boy). And I see competence as a similar trait as dominance because you are dominating a field or skill you are good at.
The female danger zone. When they find the guy super attracitve, dominant, and masculine, but he is also a gang member, and might kidnap her to be "used".
Might be the most clear example of the difference between what men and women want in a relationship that I've found. Really helped crystalize for me why women behave the way they do.