What thats the best you looked? Holy Sh it US bar its low. I think beach citys the bar for fitness its higher. No joke. Anyways... the part about take ADVICE its real. I deal with a lot of women and for some reasson they ask me for advice, when i give the advice and explain why they dont get the result they repply some variance of the bu l l sh it the tinder girl said.
@@hoe_mathit definitely comes through. Well done sir. When you said "I can't wait to see my comments" I was thinking "yep there will be a certain group that will come for you hard. But in the social media era that is probably a good thing. More people will see your stuff, more people are likely to take your guidance. Plus it will put more $ in your pocket. I wish you the best.
@@hoe_math i hate to say this but.... at some point, one can reach a point of "too much success" and one then thinks about "what's it all about?" and "now what?"
“Women are born at the top of the mountain, Men are born in the valley around it. A man is judged on how high he climbs. A woman is judged on how far she falls. Men have much to gain, Women have much to lose. Masculinity is built, femininity is preserved.” - Unknown
I usually listen to all yt content on 1.5-2x speed, but this is one of the channels i HAVE to listen to at normal speed. Your ability to articulate, mind map and communicate is unprecedented.
Yeah it's a harsh but necessary lesson to learn. Now if you're a bit less fat and don't smell and dress well and you're funny your appeal goes up a lot. Now change that into not being fat at all and your chances are even higher.
Be careful who you take feedback from.. Do you respect the people you take feedback from? Or do you just comply with their wishes because you want to be liked by anyone? Understand the value of change vs the people you're changing for. And remember that all change must be done for YOUR self not just others. Time is your most precious resource so don't go spending all this time changing for people who don't deserve you to change for them. Don't just blindly seek to be what others like. Seek to be what others like, but ONLY if YOU like THEM. When you change, your value is going to increase. Be selfish with that value and only give it to those who will give it back in the way that you want. Otherwise the change will have been for nothing. And you will end up giving up.
yeah, it's bad how so many people are thinking some video maker knows best compared to US really thinking about what WE would like to do and be in life don't have to be rich or work out if you don't like that stuff but so many videos making people feel they are not enough it's sad really.. the best value the world needs is people who care about others but that never seems to be a priority in these videos people make
The danger in taking feedback from others is that you can never truly know if the feedback they give you is geniune or not. Imagine if you changed your hairstyle and some people complimented you on it. It likely doesn't look bad, but complimenting an acquaintance on a new hairstyle is customary. Good friends might be more honest with you, but most of them will always cover up some of the truth, especially if it does look bad. You might be able to create an environment where the other person can be harsh and honest with you, but I honestly prefer to do something else. The way you should gather feedback from others is through generalizing the way people behave towards you. If people like a change about you, then the way they interact with you should be somewhat more positive. If nothing changes then the change didn't affect much, but if you notice that the social interactions with others are changing in a negative manner, then the change you made to yourself affected your image. (The rest of the comment is just a long self anecdote to confirm how my anecdotal evidence aligns with what is said in the video) When I didn't take care of myself, had no social skills and dealt with social anxiety, I found that when I did try to talk to people the interactions would always stay very short and people had no real interest I had to say. In group settings my voice wouldn't even be considered and I would always be talked over. This created a negative feedback loop where I would try to improve but my surroundings kept reminding me how low in the 'hierarchy' I was, which at first made me give up on improving instead. When I finally stuck to self improvement and gradually over time improved my looks, I found that people started treating me with more respect by how they treated me in group settings and 1 to 1 interactions. Also women would act very disinterested before, which was now mostly not the case anymore. Not like I actually attracted any woman at that point, but at least I was somewhat treated like a human being. After improving my physical looks, I noticed that I started getting more attention from girls because of gym class. That was mostly because I was good at sports and was more athletically gifted in some areas. After noticing it, I started getting more confident and started acting that way too, which made for a positive feedback loop. It's really interesting that when you display masculine characteristics while being unattractive, it'll be glossed over because unattractive men are just not recognized by society, but when you are decent looking, suddenly those masculine traits will be recognized and give back positive results. That was a couple of years ago and though I stuck to self improvement I've been too lazy with it and haven't made much improvement since then. Although I have kept the benefits I have made through self improvement.
@@CastleHassall I don’t think people have the thought of this content creator knowing what’s best but are actually thinking that he currently knows better than them, which he actually does. You don’t have to be rich or work out if you don’t want to but if you want to attract more people into your life, working out and making more money definitely helps. Personally I would like to have children with a woman that takes care of her body so that I know she’s healthy and a woman will most likely want to be with a rich man because it means he has more resources and he would be able to provide a level of security. That’s just basic biology. Females flock to the ones with the most resources. Yes it’s nice when people care about others but how can you truly care about others if you don’t even care about yourself and how you’re perceived by others? The guy making the video is just sharing his personal experience on how making himself a better person opened him up to a world of much more possibilities, which is what everyone should be striving for at the end of the day. Being a better person that you was yesterday, physically, mentally, emotionally and also financially.
low motivation intelligent people need help, need a goal or a process. also, its useful to everyone. being willfully mindless in life will become suffering.
Autism is a super-power when it correctly interfaces with the world. You just have to convince autists the value of things that seem to be vanity or pointless.
Honestly, trying to improve myself has been super frustrating, and I can understand people saying how it’s not worth it. But remember guys (and girls), self improvement is a marathon, not a sprint! The other day I felt like I had stagnated and fallen into old patterns, but then my phone showed me a selfie (I only keep selfies that I think look decent!) of exactly one year ago, and my reaction was „eww“. I’m currently trying to become a more considerate person (while slowly improving my wardrobe) but oh man, getting compliments from people that used to think I’m ugly feels AMAZING
@@TheoCynical Getting social proof doesnt affirm you are doing the "right" thing. It proves you are doing the "current" thing. i.e.sleeping around. Is it "right"? No. Is it socially desirable in the current culture? Yes. You will be shamed for not doing it and complimented for doing it. Man or woman.
I can understand, and i wish you luck on your journey. May your gains be great and your struggles pay off in dividends. :) Just be sure to do it for the right reasons. Those being attaining your highest self as much as possible, not the admiration of others. That will come naturally as your journey continues toward that end for that desire. So don't fret over it. If the society deserves you at your best, they will love you. If they don't then it's their fault not yours. So you shouldn't serve their needs to begin with. If they refuse to love you, then make them fear you. If you can have both that's best. But it's better to be feared, than to be loved. And being your highest self is step 1 of achieving that in it's ultimate. For you can't be truly successful in life if you don't know yourself and actualize that into reality. Do it for you, basically. Not for others. That will have the best long term outcomes. :)
Only time you should fight this is when you personal boundaries are getting crossed. For example if your wife want you to earn all the income, do all the chores and she still won't give you sex, then that's when you draw the line.
I say it again: Just give this guy a medal. He solved it. Again. The cool thing is, that even though it is quite a lot of information at once, it is still relatively easy to understand, because it is so straight forward. You are a real genius, when you can explain the most complicated things very easily.
real question: don't you ever get tired of not "being yourself"? I have self maximized in the past. Went to the gym, dressed better (but not confortable) clothing, learned to talk better. It indeed attracted more women to me. But after some time, I got tired of putting all that effort. Went back to what I'm confortable with and women stopped giving me attention. And I just accepted it. Didn't this ever happened to you? Maybe it happened to me because I didn't climb high enough to get to the point where the benefits are bigger than me investment?
Why did you self-maximize in the first place? What motivated you? How old are you? It sounds like you gave up before maxing became an effortless routine vs. feeling like labor. Hop back on the wagon and stick with it this time until it feels routine. Going on 3 years straight of cold showers for me and that's all I'll take for the rest of my life. It still doesn't feel routine, but it feels wrong and I'll step away from the water if it's above a certain temp on my skin; that's how maximizing in general should feel. Drugs and alcohol will "dull" that wrongness sensation, so if you've picked up those habits, you have to drop them completely or this cycle of quitting will continue.
@@KingDavid0606 I did it out of curiosity. I wanted to know whether or not people would perceive me diferently because of it. Also, I don't live in US. Cold showers are the norm here. Being clean is just what regular people here do, @loxtuf. I'm always surprised to be remembered many people in the US don't clean themselves. I also don't do drugs or alcohol. I'm very healthy. I was not refering to these things in my comment. I was refering to changes in personality.
@@justaguy3518 i only use the 'be clean' example because the video did. You replace it with some other easy thing that is more relevant to you. I used to do a lot of things i didn't like to do so i could fit in with people. It was hard and i got sick of it. But often i think it was a good thing to do for a while. The world is not really made for you, so it will be hard being yourself and hard being someone else.
This is the comment I was looking for I will try not to go on a old man ramble over here and keep this short. Yes, I felt exhausted. Don't get me wrong, self-maximizing did wonders for me. Work and financial life is great, made good habits exercise and diet wise, met people and got more charismatic, etc... However it got to a point where I found myself pretty much at a "hamster wheel". Running in the same place, not because I was not getting results but because I wasn't getting any happier. I was constantly being incongruent, putting up a performance, hiding behind a mask of someone I wasn't. So I stopped. Ofc some results stopped with it, but I couldn't care. I already was at a point I was satisfied with. And it made all the difference. I would recommend everyone to try self maximizing. After all, it would be a shame dying before seeing what you are actually capable of. However, I would also recommend to know when to stop. Some results that you may think you want are not what you really want. You will notice it during your journey.
I've been following this channel for quite some time now. It's very worthwhile. I strongly recommend looking for the older videos, they cover the larger topics and give a good general view of the subject (male-female relationships) while the more recent videos are more focused on specific, narrower topics.
What people need to understand is that hoe_math’s intention is not to make chads. its to make objectively good men that understand why they are objectively attractive which makes better partners
I'm not sure he's telling men to become partners. If anything, this video is a demotivator and reveals to men how absurd the standards of modern women are.
@@Cybertech134I don’t think it’s all that absurd once you just see it for what it is. The only major absurdity is the $ issue and that’s just fucked today. I think all the other stuff would sort out with enough comfort socializing which just comes with exposure. I doubt you need to be “the top guy” everywhere, but just one of the guys who are useful to a group or community. Remember we were never really designed for Global society. The local chicken farmer boys were the top of chicken farming. The blacksmith guy was the top of blacksmithing. Really it just amounts to specialization of value to a particular thing. I just think the global (or even city) scale makes everything hella dramatic. But the plus side is, you don’t have to actually be amazing to everybody. Just amazing in your sphere of influence. My bigger issue (and my main moral gripe) is that this model fundamentally implies that unfairness from hierarchy is inescapable & I struggle to be okay with that. It feels even if I were to strive for success, like my success will necessitate someone else’s failure. I don’t know how to accept that morally.
I dont know about "objectively good men"... this is more like a comprehensive tutorial on realizing why you aren't her dream guy, showing you what you're doing wrong and why, and then switching gears to get on that path. The women this video references and their desires really rarely line up with "objective goodness". If it was how you say he'd be called moral_math and still making self-improvements videos, just with a different goal than being capable of bagging the majority of women with high demands
Problem is: There are a lot of blissfully ignorant, obnoxious ways to become pseudo-alpha. And most alphas were relatively born into their condition, and are thus often on unconscious autopilot. So even some of the most widely admired take their gifts for granted like a pampered kid born into an absurd inheritance, and it doesn’t profit them in a sublimated way to the same degree it could a diamond in the rough who had to consciously work to clean himself up. There are those who are born with, or blindly stumble their way into intuitive power-and then there are those who become consciously, professionally self-aware of their power and harness it to its fullest potential through metacognative analysis & synthesis.
Someone said "people with low motivation need systems like this to progress" and I agree, even though this video isn't able to elaborate on nuances regarding societal & familial influence shaping how women view the world around them. I feel as though there are many pockets of culture that do not subscribe to the traits you associated with women (but also you mentioned the video would be impossible to make if you didn't summarise so I assume you're generalising intentionally). I thoroughly enjoy your focus on levels of consciousness & how we interact with our community/society as a greater whole. I'm just passing through and commenting but if any men happen to read this (particularly if you're neurodivergent and appreciate directness) remember that women can be complex, self-aware and conscientious people and not automations enslaved by their desire by default. if you're encountered those types, try reframing it as "i've just interacted with someone with a behavioural problem who was likely raised poorly" not "damn all women suck!!!". good luck fellas
It's not that I think all woman suck, he said we should look at the person who likes us and then draw the intersection with who we like. In my experience, women that liked me didn't act that much different than the women that were suing or talking trash about other men. If the girl liked me, I understand she wants to see how much I like her but after I saw her with other dudes and she's making rbf towards me and acting like she doesn't, don't come back later saying I didn't show interest. I mean, I don't wanna go to jail.
To be the man she wants is really, really hard it’s mentally draining. Having a good stable career, being fit, processing emotions so you can be your best… but then she wants you to take care of half the household chores? Child care? It’s honestly not worth the squeeze. Back in the day you’d give a woman $1 and you’d get $3 in value back now you’re lucky to get 50 cents of value… if you are a woman and want someone to take care of you be worth that! Learn to cook, take care of the house, manage finances etc After having the SAHM I will never ever do that again!!!
It took a few months but it was worth it bc Hoemath is a modern philosopher he explains stoicism, price markets, statistics, a meta-analysis of behavior, power politics and aesthetics without mentioning them directly. This is quality content, sir that should be translated to every other language like spanish (i can help you with that) it would make a killing
Watch out guys, this dude's favorite book is by Julius Evola, one of the original fascist philosophers. He has made some interesting observations in his videos but something has always felt off when I watch them. When he said that he really liked that book it explained to me where that feeling was coming from. He has poisoned his mind with the writings of a cynical and rather nihilistic fascist and it shows in the way that he sees the world. I guess there's a few things you might learn here but please do not drink his Kool aid and become a cynic.
I want to share a neat little shortcut that some of you could use: Ballroom dancing. Yes yes, I know, it sounds weird, but hear me out. There is a reason all girlfriends in the world try to get their boyfriends to have dance classes with them. Ballroom dancing gives you soooo many things that women want and it shows. Let me put down all the positive aspects that ballroom dancing has: 1. It shows you are confident. You don't follow the stigma against men dancing. 2. It shows social skills. Ballroom dancing is a social sport. At ballroom dance parties, asking women to dance with you makes you practice those social interactions. 3. Once you get good, it shows competency (which also turns into confidence) in both knowing how to move your body as well as musicality (both very attractive traits for most women) 4. It shows that you know how to lead. Being able to lead someone across a room shows authority and that you have the power to make other do what you tell them to do. 5. You learn how to present yourself. When you enter the ballroom dancing world, you'll notice that there are a lot of "old fashioned" rules about how to present yourself. Having nice clothes, walking in a certain way etc. These help to show you are well put together, that you know how to take care of yourself. 6. You get some exercise. Even though it's not the most demanding sport, it is nice to have some cardio regardless. 7. Because most people at parties don't just dance with 1 partner (although there are plenty who do), you show women that women like you. With mate choice copying, this will snowball much faster than you think, even with women who don't dance. 8. You get to meet a lot of women in an offline context. Rolling the roulette wheel IRL is so much more effective than it is online. Simply meeting more women IRL will higher your chances to find someone, even if nothing else changes. If you don't have a sport yet, maybe consider it. I started dancing when I was 23, without ever having kissed a girl, let alone have a relationship with one. I'm a fairly average guy but after less than 2 years of ballroom dancing without changing anything else I managed to find a girlfriend. I've never been happier, I spend most of my days with her and we are considering getting married, which leads me to my next point. Even though women may have damaged you, even though it may seem hopeless, like you'll never manage to find someone, or if it seems that most women are insane, they aren't as crazy as some of you seem to think. Once you have a loving relationship, the amount of love and care and support you'll receive is honestly so good. Men and women are made for each other, if not by God, then at least by evolution. Being together with a good women is the best thing that happened in my life and people who are in a similar position as me know what I'm talking about. I hope all of you find love and a women to care for, just as much as she cares for you. I hope self maximize will help you with this. Have faith, don't give up, you can do it even when it all seems so dire.
@@tonyadams8812lmfao stop worrying about imaginary blacks you dreamed up in your head, statistics from dating apps and statistics offices around the west show that white women choose black guys the least of any other group by a large margin. So if that really matters in your head maybe don't put down a legitimate skill because imaginary competition in your head scared you out of it. Lmfao. Plus dancing is quite big in the black community anyway. Not to mention if you want the girl that's chasing after "tyrone" that's your call lmfao
@jimmynone1956 create a 1, 5, and 10 year plan. Execute your plan. Eat better and exercise every day. Wash your ass and clean/moisturize your face. Take the hint and leave the shit parts about you behind as you identify them. It's really not as hard as it seems
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself" Nietzsche
They used to have cheesy videos and pamphlets about etiquette and hygiene. It's been more art than instinct since before we lost our fur. Prolly since before we lost our tails.
You don't have to, but you should ask yourself if you should not want to study to get a girlfriend you want. Even if you do it from an egoistical reason, it will contribute to everyones well-being
If you read Swoon by Betsy Prioleau, you would find most seducers in history were studying for these as well. There were way more evolved guys than naturals
I’ve been watching TH-cam videos for a decade, and your videos are the most informative ones I’ve ever seen. You are literally making the best content in the trillions of hours of videos inside of this platform. Keep it up
After joining the levelcheck community and implementing a lot of these fundamentals into my day to day I literally am excited to wake up each morning and get shit done, this isn't just a how to get a wife guide it's a how to get a life guide.
I have 11yr old twins B/G and this video will change they way I raise them. Everything you talk about I have experienced as a 48yr old man. Pure insight.
What I got from this video, Self Maximize is to: Men: 1. Look awesome. 2. Be awesome to talk to. 3. Be awesome to be around of. 4. Be awesome at something. 5. Be the awesomest that ever awesomed someway somewhere . 6. Be awesome at getting what you want. 7. Be awesome at investing your time wisely. Women: 1. Be attractive. 2. Be wholesome. 3. Be chaste.
A lot of us weren't raised particularly well. I learned how to tie a tie from the internet in my mid 20's. Just reminding people of the basic things they should be prioritizing and improving is important. Figuring out what advice to follow in the ocean of information once you decide to better yourself can be a little more tricky.
U hit the nail! I dont even know what i want or who i am. Like i didnt have a solid base to build upon it. So the building came out faulty and damged. I want to know how i can assess and than figure out how to repair it. Or should i demolish all and start from the ground up.
Most guys I know that are succesful in dating dont even own a tie. Let alone know how to tie it. If you think thats important for women in partner selection you must live in the 1960s.
@@TheSuperappelflap lol. That's pretty hilarious response. Bro. Let me spell it out for you: I wasn't saying ties impress girls. I was illustrating how many of us in the last few generations were not raised well rounded. We lacked role models and father figures. The kind of people who might teach you how to tie a tie. So we filled the gap with things like the internet. But it's hard to know what influences and informations to choose. Knowing how to tie a tie might not get you a girl but those kinds of life lessons add up. They add up to more confidence and opportunities and those DO get you girls. Get it?
@@ricksflicks- I did grow up learning those things and no it doesn't help at all. Get a neck tattoo, not a neck tie, if you want more women. Most well paying jobs don't even require ties anymore, it's only good for weddings and funerals. Mostly funerals since no is getting married anymore.
Quick tip for improving posture I got from a chiropractor. Image there's a large man with a knife standing behind you, pressing the tip his knife against the center of your back, just below your shoulders blades. That muscle group you feel tightening up? Thats the one you should be focusing on using and strengthening when walking.
Hey, Chad here. I'm about to self-maximize, so you better hit it double time because with this, the last of the infinity stones, I shall become Dark GigaChad. Your girlfriends, wives, and adult daughters are no longer safe! Get caught up or get rekt!
Instead of putting in 10x the effort for 1/10th the value, they should grab their PASSPORTS and self maximize their knowledge of the target country's culture.
@@chadhatter Love your comment. Fellow black Chad here (Tyrone) almost in Gigachad/Tyrone final form. Dudes better watch out ! Jokes aside guys need to stop being lazy and improve in every facet of their lives to reach their full potential. That was the crux of this video. Salute 🫡
I'm buying self maximize not just because I want to do better at dating but I want to do better by myself. Everything that makes you more appealing to women is something I should be for myself anyways. In-shape, put-together, well-spoken, skilled, and confident. Thanks as always for sharing your insight.
@@ohjay7612a guy who changes himself and improves himself in the way the guy in the video is statistically not going to die a virgin. Probably lottery winning odds if they died alone
@@ohjay7612 not OP, but I think it is important to be motivated. If improving is THE goal, not just the means, he's got a better chance or sticking to the process. Besides, having sex is as easy as saving a week's worth of wages and hiring a sexual worker. I don't think it is as compelling of a goal as visiting Greece or building your dream workshop.
@@user-hp5mj2gs6m in the United States sex workers are illegal and even if it wasn't, obviously what I meant is someone willing to have sex with you for free consistently. I think there's a denial among a lot of people of how much women are motivations for men. Lonely virgins don't exactly have the same incentive to do these things
@@ohjay7612 Being a virgin is a more about lacking meaningful relationships with the opposite sex, then. If I was destined to "die a lonely virgin", focusing on the process would still be better overall. How can one crave an unknown feeling so much to the point of eclipsing the pursuit of improvement? You can still do what you love, have friends, enrich your community, etc.
I get that this video can be useful for some people, but it could also cause people to stop with things they are passionate about since it "isn't appreciated by women". Finding a partner isn't the end goal in life, see it more like a side mission. I really think this should be talked about more, before giving men advice on how to radically change themselves.
Great advice. It’s funny how men’s coaches are always coaching men to increase their strength. Appearance. Career. Take control. Female coaches teach them to hate men, not settle, wait for a good one to come along. Ie, be helpless. And then call yourself a 10.
Here comes the DROP! This is just the start, what this can do for this generation of men growing up will be monumental in how we think, act and change our behavior.
It wont. Relationship issues come from (social) media and technology offering our stone age brains input that they never evolved to deal with. Self maximizing wont change that. It will only increase the pressure on men as now everyone needs to selfmaximize to be average. Still wont put you ahead of the curve.
@@earlgrey2130 The amount of people watching HM is tiny in comparison to the worlds population and the amount of people actually successfully executing self maximize is even smaller. Following his advice will absolutely put you ahead of the curve. The ability to teach has enabled humans to surpass classical evolution a long time ago. Yes our brains werent even close to ready for the internet, but thankfully we dont need to biologically evolve before we can adopt, we can hyperspecifically change our way of thinking, not needing mutation and natural selection.
The problem is men trying to be what women want won't be successful. Because what women want isn't consistent. Just look at all the most desirable men who get divorced be their wives
@@stinkystink9830 I rather live a life of relative comfort from the work I put in. I want to live in a society where I'm able to attract normal women and live a normal regular life. I give zero fucks about "being ahead of the curve" I just want a compatible woman who I can share my life with. What is self maximizing going to do for me? I'm already doing most of these things without being aware of it since I was a teen, and you know where that got me? More hardship and struggle because we're currently dealing with a culture full of extremely unserious people, I alone cannot "self-maximize" my way out of this cesspool. There needs to be a societal overhaul of our social norms.
This is like taking an entire college course in 30 minutes. It's a lot on my plate. I'm just going to start with fitness and money and then fill in the other pieces as I go. The things that I can't change overnight like fashion, haircut, etc. are my first targets.
I also increased my SMV score by 4 points through years of power-lifting, learning, fixing my appearance, and nailing a career. Unfortunately, I started as a 2 and and so the end result was that I became a 6. Which still left me in the ghost category despite reaching my genetic ceiling. I have no regrets though, because I did it all for myself, and not for women.
a 6 in the USA is a 9 in south east Asia, the Mediterranean, or South America. The literally millions of girls for your picking but now you have to put yourself where you re of value, which is not here. I went through Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand and the Philippines 12 years ago when I was 51 and have been overwhelmed ever since with beautiful girls (18-25) that want me to do them and or marry them. Travel, my man, and find your future.
"you don't have the attention span" dog you've been leading us on for months about this video and it is constantly on my mind. I was expecting a 3 and a half hour video ;( though I'm very thankful to finally see the illusive "self maximize" Thank you and I will be awaiting more wisdom as you deposit it
Really nice to have someone provide helpful, actionable advice in a way that humanizes men and women. Too many redpill content people spit truth one sentence and bullshit the next, and too many women provide unhelpful advice for men, even if they're trying to see it from our perspective. Very grateful HoeMath exists.
Ngl, as a guy who dislikes a lot of red-pill content and grifters, I can appreciate this vid for not just being completely sane but also pretty useful advice.
Agreed. I would say the one thing he missed is that essentially women do have a specific skillset men are often vetting for. It is just so subtle. Essentially a woman classically is the equivalent socially of spymaster, publicist, therapist, life coach and so on with the eye toward social harmony and dealing with threats or problems far before a man would be able to identify them.
This is very inspiring to me. I’ve been self destructive and letting myself deteriorate the last several years as I have had no motivation and just given up on life. Basically if I got clobbered by a bus, I’d be ok with it. But I’m going to study this and attempt to make the changes to improve myself. You are doing great work here and I’m glad you’re making a living from it. I can only hope many others take away at least 1/4 of the things you’re saying and make a positive change in their life. Thank you for this sir.
I just want to thank you for all your hardwork, the overwhelming praise and support you receive might all turn into a blur, but you should know that you're actually making a very positive impact on the world and you should be proud of your work. God bless you.
Feedback: In some ways, very plain advice. And yet I feel that way because it is so comprehensive and simply explained. Almost feels like one already knows it. Very practical and clear direction and that makes it super easy and motivating to act on, at least as a man. Tied together a couple loose ends for me like with the power vs respectability hierarchies. But most importantly made me realize I actually know everything I need to know on this topic, which is a god send for someone like me who always feeling like there’s something missing. It’s like putting a container around the complexity and making the issues very stable and obvious. Great work man and very appreciated
It’s your idiosyncrasies. I’ve only viewed 3 of your videos up to now and you’re fucking fantastic. Keep on it. You have something incredibly rare and I’m so enthused to see you sharing it with the world.
I am happy married in one of the best relationships yet witnessed by mankind, but this is excellent content to how I can have an even better relationship by improving myself an being conscious on my wife's on going needs. Great video.
Not enough people out there are teaching meta-cognition and how to interpret/use feedback in a down to earth, practical way (with pictures and arrows!), and that skill is SORELY needed for men AND women. Thanks for the hard work, @hoe_math ! I particularly like the examples of people getting the feedback they requested but still saying, "no, it's the CHILDREN who are wrong" and refusing to adapt. Hopefully those examples will reveal how some people are handicapping themselves everyday.
I think I did the same thing but through trail and error. At 54 my last 4 gf's were 19,20, 25 and 25. I also started working out and improving myself. But to be honest there aren't many if any women worth all the work.
As a more visual learner, these videos are super helpful. Love how punchy and factual HM presents them. They’ve given me confidence on where I’m at now and a good roadmap on what to work on. Thanks for the content!
As a woman, I really want you to make a video on what things to look for or avoid doing ourselves to NOT get into the sleeper/ sweeper zone. For context : I am in late 20s but have a too much of a clean past. When men approach me and ask things which are physical stuff then I dont know if that is his way of showing interest or just a way to score fast. Can you please guide on how to not fall in traps but also how not to miss out on genuine men?
Context. Early 30's no relationships before now, a few dates. Traditionalist Christian values for myself and a woman I look for. I don't want any sleeper or sweeper woman. So while i'm open to a date, to explore and hangout with a woman, it's to explore expanding the relationship. What kind of person are you? As I have observed elsewhere in life, sex seems to work best if it is with a person you are already locked in with. Where the repercussions (Positive and negative or neutral) of the sex are thus properly dealt with between those two people. The classic "Save it for marriage" means any change in the relationship, HAS to be dealt with between those two people who did the deed instead of a future boyfriend or ex or situationship or whatever. WAY too much emotion in any relationship(Even one night stands) and chemical deluge in the brain when sex happens to treat it elsewise. Imagine treating a heroin overdose as something casual? Or a Rape event as something to just walk off? Sex is a big deal, and having it happen too early in the relationship adds baggage to both sides in some form that requires BOTH sides to deal with. Even if it's POSITIVE baggage.(Not just kids. But all the emotions/reactions from eachother and friends and more) And a marriage was historically a great way of ensuring that the relationship was developed enough so that both sides already had an actual emotional relationship with eachother to deal with those consequences AND ensured/forced both sides to actually be there to begin with and the guy didn't run off. Marriage made the man. A married man is proof that he was a reliable man if only because he HAD to be. So, with all that. MY view is that a way to avoid sleeper/sweeper is to just not have sex with them until marriage. And yes, with modern life how it is, that sucks for both sides. There is a reason I dislike feminism, it hurts women too not just me. As for how to not miss out on genuine men? Not so sure I can answer that properly beyond making sure to keep an eye out for the invisible 1-7 scale people. Good men exist, they are just usually invisible, not hiding. Find a guy who isn't miserable, who can at least be upbeat, (And takes a freaking shower.) and ask for a date yourself. Make sure he knows that you want to explore building the relationship, not just having a boyfriend/girlfriend. If they know they ain't getting anything early, it weeds out anyone who sees you as sleeper/sweeper. And yes, you probably have to ask, not wait for them to ask. Sorry. First date is for "Can this person put up a front I enjoy? Not money wise, but can they at least dress well and hold conversation?" A dinner and movie is a classic for a reason. What books do you guys enjoy? Movies? Hobbies? Low level stuff still lets you know about them by HOW they answer, not WHAT they answer. 2nd date is an enhancement of the first. You didn't build anything in the relationship really in the first date, just ensured that they passed the decent human being test. So now you start upping the ante, next is a walk on a public beach or something. Now it's the conversation that has to carry things. The dinner/movie was a crutch for conversation. Now you have to actually talk without having a movie fresh in the mind to talk about. Still lower level stuff though. Ask deeper questions about the hobbies they mentioned last time. 3rd date is fancy. You both passed initial tests of character and decency. Now how does a bit of trust and cost change things? A FANCY dinner, or a play perhaps? Something that requires some investment on both your parts. Money/tickets/suit on his part. You spent time and money on looking NICE. (not slutty/sexy. Trying to have a GOOD relationship, not a Lust relationship. you can do that later as a tease for marriage. not a tease for boyfriend) Notice the first two dates are NOT expensive emotionally or walletwise? Now it is for the THIRD date. To test the waters for how things happen once it starts COSTING you guys in the dating stage. (Yes, it costs you too. Emotionally/time at least.) Once you have had 3 dates. (makes sure you both understand the point of each date. Conversation starter anyway...maybe not a good one, but important.) Then you can go from there. Discussion on how/what the 4th date is. Or maybe advancing to hangout time. That's on both of you to figure out. Regardless, the first 3 dates cut out all the sweeper/sleeper.
BE realistic about your looks, your weight, and what you look and smell like naked. THAT is what we are judging you on first and foremost. THEN, once you realize you are NOT a 10 but probably a 2, date within your class of men, and dont think you "deserve better" than what you can get >>> the guys that you think you want or that you think should be with you in no way want you, they can do MUCH MUCH better. Once you realize that, then you will be OK
If a man asks for physical stuff early, it shows he doesn't value you for you. If he values you for you, he's gonna wait until he's sure you're comfortable with it. By asking for physical stuff early, he is basically taking a gamble that you are DTF quick. By taking that gamble, he's accepting the risk that you will be turned off and ditch him, but he doesn't care because in that case he'll just move on to the next woman. For most guys it's impossible for a woman to have too much of a "clean" past. If he knows you're the one, he'll be happy to teach you how to please him. For guys, knowing that you have a clean past creates additional physical and emotional intimacy. Wait for the right person to explore physical stuff together as a bonding activity. Guys who are trying to get laid will ask for physical stuff from loads of women, knowing that the chance of success tends to be low, but making up for it with numbers. Many of the men who try to initiate with you will be pursuing such a "spray and pay" strategy, even though they aren't necessarily a majority of the population. If you learn to take initiative yourself, you can sample from the pool of guys as a whole, as opposed to the pool of "spray and pay" guys. The trick is to be friendly without coming across as easy.
And as a man, I will give you the most straightforward answers I can: don't go home with some guy. Don't be in private with some guy. Court, never date. Never mess around with any guy. Be very clear that you won't and be sure everyone knows it, and then keep your word. That is a powerful thing that many of your competition has already screwed up, so you will be better than them in an important way. Your biggest problem unironically is that you said late 20s. Age is a massive issue women have to deal with. The younger you are courting and married off, the better. It's also hooked into the purity perception, as in an older woman is less likely to have not messed around, then there's attractiveness (virtually all men like youth and neotony to some degree, which is hardwired), then there's fertility (for the more intelligent men who think ahead and knew they wanted kids from youth, like how I was already thinking). At some level it's always a thing women need to care about. Networking is a big problem nowadays for everyone, and women need to be thinking about things in a timely way and not getting caught up in all the distractions (career, college, etc.). Time wasters are a big scam aimed at women designed to bring you down. Be wary of them. For context, I am a prior Marine, never messed around, came from a violent home, got married to a psycho as a young man, somewhat older now, have done a lot of learning, improving, and value-building to get better in every way (except physical because I got messed up a long time ago and just basically rehab on that--I really hate that aspect of not being on top of physical game). I have seen a huge amount of just terrible behavior from females and got censored to death for talking about it in any real way. Of course, I peruse this stuff to learn about interpersonal things because I am a high-functioning autist. I'm also not tall (lol), but I am extremely capable and strong-willed and can get attention from chicas (definitely had some trying in the past and always ignored). Do what you will with my advice.
I think this is all on point and totally right, and i will do it, but i will always remember that: i am deeply convinced this shouldn't be the way the world lives. It is and it will remain so in my lifetime, but shouldnt be so. If we educate people differently, there will be for our sons or grandsons a world where women take accountability, money matter less, people are more equal and also equally considered (not like the women that only look to 1% of men). All of this is not the best world possible, it is only the simplest to imagine, and i will educate my son to understand the world as well as to imagine another
you can't "should" at the nature of a species. we will be as we will be. society and education exist to shape and structure our nature. technology and culture have eroded it down to nothing. people are now selfish again and disconnected. If we don't re-create cultures with boundaries and defend them, we'll just turn into mush
@@hoe_math (This is just my opinion, and i don't dedicate my life to it like you do, even if i thinks these are discussions that fall also out of the field you speak publicly about) i have a vastly different opinion. In particular about the "turning into mush" thing. Technology has made us more disconnected, because the use of it turns off the brain, but culture hasnt made us disconnected or at least not in the same way. As there are people confused with less gender roles, there are also people who are more comfortable now. And there are studies that show how couples with less traditional beliefs are happier, for example because of a better partition of household chores. If you consider positively society you cant at the same time discard the change of it if it arises from multiple people who are a part of society. Defending some boundaries is an artificial act as much as destroying them, so you should consider not what happens but the actual reason behind it. The fact that society is born in some way doesnt mean its the best, but often the simplest. Look at democracy, it was crazy when there was monarchy and people had just to follow orders because there was always an artificial justification of the king's power, and little education of poor people. Now monarchy is crazy for most of us and we hate every dictator. Same thing can happen in the dating world if we change some simple but not best things. I would also suggest the book "Am I normal" from Sarah Chaney. The idea of normality is artificial, and so what comes from it, like the culture boundaries. There is not for example a normal degree of sensibility. In 1700 "Der Junge Werther" was the most popular book and the ideal of the noble classes, and it talked about such a sensibility that leads to suicide. One hundred years later it was thought about as mental sickness. Your map in the 1700s would be wrong, as now sensibility is not a characteristic we associate with powerful people, from who we take inspiration for a lot of likings and norms. Or perhaps we can in fact change either our admiration for power or the people in power, now it is still important but well less than it could be hundreds of years ago for kings.
The real heart of the issue described in this video is as follows: Are you willing to take responsibility for not getting what you want, or are you going to blame it on everyone else? This is not a hard question to answer. And I recommend, if you have a ton of things not in your control, to take control of those things. This is what men do.
Man, you know what you are doing. I had thought that what I wanted from these four months was an hour long video with everthing in it. Turns out, that would have been boring for something that I had waited for months. Instead, I essentially wanted a shorter video followed by other short videos for specification, so all the excitement would not last an hour. You knew what I wanted better than myself. I will use this as an exercise to understand human behavior better. Thank you, and keep changing the world as much as you can.
just be yourselves and do the things you would like to do in life.. you don't need to compare yourself to others "success" someone will love you for you being YOU. and why live a life trying to be someone else rather than truly you be you.. do the things YOU Would love to do not what someone tries to make you feel you should be
You are awesome and deserve a million subscribers! Let's support this guy for breaking down everything so precisely to help us avoid over-analyzing it. ❤☺️ This video is utterly brilliant.
I went from about a 4 to about a 7. Some women still treat me as a ghost, some treat me like I'm a celebrity. Women still have preferences in looks it seems 😂
I think there's something to be said for the "black pill" space. Guys that are 6'+, 6-pack abs, etc, don't understand how much EASIER they have it when it comes to women. They're basically born with all of those "bad boy" traits and just have to figure out the rest (the right side axis of the Zones). They have such a head start that it's insane.
Of course they do. Many women and men definitely have a type. Many women in particular like a guy like their father or prominent father figure as far as many qualities are concerned. This is all speaking in generalities. If we make these improvements we will see general improvement with women and other areas of life.
@@drewg7441 they do have a head start but where black pillers go wrong is they think it’s all hopeless. Like hm said there’s so many things guys can do to improve
I mean yeah I'm pretty fit some girls think I'm hot asf some think I'm ugly. Same with guys. A friend of mine once told me that quite literally the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life was a 3/10 its insane.
This video is largely a reminder that most of us are just doomed to failure. I myself am pretty far in the autism spectrum, and the combination of dyspraxia + pathological demand avoidance + terrible situational awareness + severe aversions means that all attempts at self-improvement have failed. The biggest problem I have with the assertion that a person could just change everything about themselves is that, if they could, they would've by now. I.E. I've never met a fat person who wasn't trying to lose weight, an ugly person who wasn't trying to look/dress better, a person with a bad habit that wasn't trying to break it, etc. The ability to self-maximize is a rare trait, and the people who have it just don't understand the people who don't.
My most recent relationship had almost all of the things a woman should provide in the relationship. She checked all of the boxes on Interesting, Positive, Supportive, and Intimate, but that last one.. SANE, wasn't there. Zero check boxes in Sane. I stuck it out for a year and tried to give her every chance to mature in this dimension, didn't happen. Guys, if she doesn't check the "Self-Aware" box in SANE she is not going to improve in any of the other areas. So either accept her and love EXACTLY how she is or walk away, cause it is not going to change.
Damn. And all those tears I thought I was crazy. You nailed it. I would only add that everything you suggest helps in every area of life, not just boy/girl stuff. For example, if you’re in good physical condition you will be perceived more favorably in business relationships. And so forth…
I lost 65 pounds last year, and now everywhere I look I see fat people. It definitely has affected how I view people. You can do it, stop eating so many calories.
Feedback: you do an incredible job respecting your audience by valuing their time. Your efforts towards brevity and clarity are very likely a major component of your success with these. Thanks!
Mr. Math, I am adding 'Riding the Tiger' to my list of books to read. Thanks for sharing that with us. I believe most of your audience members, like myself, are appreciative of all of your work. Thank you. I had not forgotten about 'Allegory of The Cave', 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance', works by Carl Jung, Spiral Dynamics, and Integral Theory from one of your other videos. I made a note to add those books and topics to my reading list. I am a man that works with my hands on helicopters and rotary wing parts and that takes reading technical and maintenance manuals, but also requires some critical thinking due to the nature of aircraft usage. Keeping a balance between 'thinking about thinking', thinking outside of yourself, and to think about others is a must for a civilized society to prosper. Maybe I did not vocalize that thought very well, but I hope the conveyance was achieved.
This was incredibly well thought out! I can't help but be curious about the more women oriented version of this, but I understand your demographic and interest are mostly men. A lot of this comes across as a psychological handbook for how to do things that your parents should have taught you while you were growing up, but didn't. I think the state of things today provides evidence for that sentiment. High quality work. Absolutely needed. Thank you for your service! Even though I have reached some of the checkmarks you've communicated as basic foundations required to move up in Maslow's Hiearchy of Needs, I do think this chart is a valuable reference to have if you ever trip and fall in your life journey and lose your confidence or need to grow up more to tackle new challenges you're presented. So thank you for this!!!
Amazingly done. The whole lot of Personal Development related to increasing your chances to have a relationship, condensed in 24 minutes. This video deserves 100 million views or more.
Fellas. I found this channel at the beginning of February and I just wasn't where I wanted to be. I watched every video on this channel. I joined the Patreon. I have put every piece of information to use. I have gone back and analyzed every girl I've even been involved with and figured out why they weren't interested in me or why it failed. Every answer is here. Now I have more girls on dating apps interested in me than I know what to do with. Im seeing a beautiful woman that actually brings things to the table. Im more confident and happy than I've ever been. THIS IS GOSPEL. You already know that though, otherwise you wouldn't be here right?
Absolutely going to come back for this series. These videos are fascinating to me especially when you simplify a complex concept to make it into an example. There's really no point I can disagree w what you're saying or a point where I don't see the value in saying it, but the examples you pick and the way you omit portions of their context to fit your framework exposes your ignorances. It's not terrible or anything but it's like, you figured out this stuff to a degree that most people never will, but have so much more to learn. Like I said, really interesting. I watched your integral theory vid too and it's amazing that you could introduce people to it but that's probably where you should leave it. Saying "guys, look up integral theory" is probably your best contribution to the subject as of now. Also don't change the images or the thumbnails, it fits the channel and content perfectly.
I think this is good advice in general - people should always be working to improve themselves, even if they aren’t looking for a ‘significant other,’ or even if they already have one. We can always improve, and we should; our lives will be better for it regardless.
My brother needs to see this. Me and my wife have been trying to help him for almost 2 years. This is exactly what iv been trying to explain to him but in a way better way. Hes 27 and never had. Girl friend. He gets way to in to a crush out of his league and obsesses over her then gets friend zoned or worse the creepy guy treatment. I just keep telling him girls have options and your not there best one. You have to be better than the other guys talking to her.
@@nathandobbs7540nah then only the highest value is value. though i think if the difference between the peak and current option is reduced there will be less issues with monkey branching, idk tho.
I’m 19, and have been using this metacognition throughout my entire life as I had a lot of free time and self reflection was always how I coped. I found that this strategy is exactly what I’ve been using and it has worked pretty well. People respect you more, they talk to you easier, you don’t have to put in as much effort just to talk to people, it has also let me crawl out of depression and change how I react to stimuli as well as learn new skills. Remember, this strategy isn’t just for dating, but for almost any problem you have. It teaches you how to consider your own actions, how you and others reply to those actions, and how you can change to achieve the response that you want.
@@hoe_math I'm not surprised. What is ridiculous is us having to hide it in the first place. I'm glad you found success doing something you like though.
![[Watch Party] RoV Pro League 2024 Winter | with Moowan ( Bacon Time Vs Talon )](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/CCEDhu6dPN8/mqdefault.jpg)
![ถามตรงๆ กับ อาจตุพร ทำไม ประเทศไทย ใครเป็นนายก ก็โดนด่า พอออกเเล้วคนคิดถึง!!?? l [Nickynachat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/3YFLMXxBGAs/mqdefault.jpg)
shortform.com/hoemath
☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻 CLICK HERE☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻
for a FREE TRIAL of Shortform and 20% off an annual subscription!
NNNOOO WAYYY
Finally! Thank you
What thats the best you looked? Holy Sh it US bar its low. I think beach citys the bar for fitness its higher.
No joke. Anyways... the part about take ADVICE its real. I deal with a lot of women and for some reasson they ask me for advice, when i give the advice and explain why they dont get the result they repply some variance of the bu l l sh it the tinder girl said.
At what age did your therapist say that women are likely to not change?
Love your videos!💚
This dude is literally teaching metacognition and I'm here for it.
THANK YOU. I was worried it wouldn't come through. That makes me feel really good about how hard this was.
Doing God's work my friend@@hoe_math
@@hoe_mathit definitely comes through. Well done sir. When you said "I can't wait to see my comments" I was thinking "yep there will be a certain group that will come for you hard. But in the social media era that is probably a good thing. More people will see your stuff, more people are likely to take your guidance. Plus it will put more $ in your pocket.
I wish you the best.
@@presterjohn9088 why would he get hate for this?
@@hoe_math i hate to say this but.... at some point, one can reach a point of "too much success" and one then thinks about "what's it all about?" and "now what?"
“Women are born at the top of the mountain, Men are born in the valley around it.
A man is judged on how high he climbs. A woman is judged on how far she falls.
Men have much to gain, Women have much to lose.
Masculinity is built, femininity is preserved.” - Unknown
Wow....Impressive!!!
MY GOD!!!!!🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Woah 🎉
like... damn
“A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is a work of fiction”. Oscar Wilde
So refreshing seeing a guy that is proactive and actually helps you do something about your life instead o complaining about his position in life.
I usually listen to all yt content on 1.5-2x speed, but this is one of the channels i HAVE to listen to at normal speed. Your ability to articulate, mind map and communicate is unprecedented.
Same, this is one of the only creators that actually talks at a reasonable speed like the goal is getting information out.
Roflmao same
May be we have ADHD
Your attention span is cooked bro
I listen to it at 1.5x and understand everything, but 2x is too hard
guys… he actually did it.
He realeased Self-Maximize.
lol I thought he was never going to! That it was just a tactic to keep us hanging on like breadcrumbing
ong
Gonna actually use this as a man to try to get my dream women haha
“Being funny isn’t gonna matter if you’re fat and you smell”
Thanks @hoemath …I needed that
Yeah it's a harsh but necessary lesson to learn. Now if you're a bit less fat and don't smell and dress well and you're funny your appeal goes up a lot. Now change that into not being fat at all and your chances are even higher.
@@nutyyyyits also not harsh at all because if anything being fat and smelly is a relatively easy opportunity to drastically improve your life
Just know we believe in you
he saved us
Im fat and never smelled shower too much 😂
Be careful who you take feedback from..
Do you respect the people you take feedback from? Or do you just comply with their wishes because you want to be liked by anyone?
Understand the value of change vs the people you're changing for. And remember that all change must be done for YOUR self not just others. Time is your most precious resource so don't go spending all this time changing for people who don't deserve you to change for them. Don't just blindly seek to be what others like. Seek to be what others like, but ONLY if YOU like THEM.
When you change, your value is going to increase. Be selfish with that value and only give it to those who will give it back in the way that you want. Otherwise the change will have been for nothing. And you will end up giving up.
That's why the first step is to know what you truly want
yeah, it's bad how so many people are thinking some video maker knows best compared to US really thinking about what WE would like to do and be in life
don't have to be rich or work out if you don't like that stuff but so many videos making people feel they are not enough
it's sad really.. the best value the world needs is people who care about others but that never seems to be a priority in these videos people make
The danger in taking feedback from others is that you can never truly know if the feedback they give you is geniune or not. Imagine if you changed your hairstyle and some people complimented you on it. It likely doesn't look bad, but complimenting an acquaintance on a new hairstyle is customary. Good friends might be more honest with you, but most of them will always cover up some of the truth, especially if it does look bad. You might be able to create an environment where the other person can be harsh and honest with you, but I honestly prefer to do something else.
The way you should gather feedback from others is through generalizing the way people behave towards you. If people like a change about you, then the way they interact with you should be somewhat more positive. If nothing changes then the change didn't affect much, but if you notice that the social interactions with others are changing in a negative manner, then the change you made to yourself affected your image.
(The rest of the comment is just a long self anecdote to confirm how my anecdotal evidence aligns with what is said in the video)
When I didn't take care of myself, had no social skills and dealt with social anxiety, I found that when I did try to talk to people the interactions would always stay very short and people had no real interest I had to say. In group settings my voice wouldn't even be considered and I would always be talked over. This created a negative feedback loop where I would try to improve but my surroundings kept reminding me how low in the 'hierarchy' I was, which at first made me give up on improving instead.
When I finally stuck to self improvement and gradually over time improved my looks, I found that people started treating me with more respect by how they treated me in group settings and 1 to 1 interactions. Also women would act very disinterested before, which was now mostly not the case anymore. Not like I actually attracted any woman at that point, but at least I was somewhat treated like a human being.
After improving my physical looks, I noticed that I started getting more attention from girls because of gym class. That was mostly because I was good at sports and was more athletically gifted in some areas. After noticing it, I started getting more confident and started acting that way too, which made for a positive feedback loop. It's really interesting that when you display masculine characteristics while being unattractive, it'll be glossed over because unattractive men are just not recognized by society, but when you are decent looking, suddenly those masculine traits will be recognized and give back positive results.
That was a couple of years ago and though I stuck to self improvement I've been too lazy with it and haven't made much improvement since then. Although I have kept the benefits I have made through self improvement.
@@CastleHassall I don’t think people have the thought of this content creator knowing what’s best but are actually thinking that he currently knows better than them, which he actually does.
You don’t have to be rich or work out if you don’t want to but if you want to attract more people into your life, working out and making more money definitely helps. Personally I would like to have children with a woman that takes care of her body so that I know she’s healthy and a woman will most likely want to be with a rich man because it means he has more resources and he would be able to provide a level of security. That’s just basic biology. Females flock to the ones with the most resources.
Yes it’s nice when people care about others but how can you truly care about others if you don’t even care about yourself and how you’re perceived by others? The guy making the video is just sharing his personal experience on how making himself a better person opened him up to a world of much more possibilities, which is what everyone should be striving for at the end of the day. Being a better person that you was yesterday, physically, mentally, emotionally and also financially.
Replace "like" with "respect" and see how the dynamic of thought changes
I'm 52, married, in a rut, but I'm still getting this. I have learned a lot from you. Bravo and may you continue to succeed and grow.
Saving this to my playlist of “Life Lessons I need to teach my kids if I ever self improve enough to get em”
Hahaha, yeah
this was funny
Teach your kids this stuff at 10 years old and they'll dominate.
The least self improved people have the most kids 😂 good thinking though that’s the way
So true bro LOLOLOL
This is an incredibly autistic way to view relationships and social transaction. I will be applying this rule to every interaction I have from now on.
Aurizzm
low motivation intelligent people need help, need a goal or a process. also, its useful to everyone. being willfully mindless in life will become suffering.
If you think about it, its loose enough.
Its great guidance and overall good wisdom with a reason to be, not a mantra.
@@dkillipswoof hit me 🎯
(Insert goal here) Legitimately have no desires so I'm not even able to start 😂
Autism is a super-power when it correctly interfaces with the world. You just have to convince autists the value of things that seem to be vanity or pointless.
The value your providing in this video is beyond comprehensible , This was phenomenal
Ty I tried really hard
@@hoe_math thank you. o7
Honestly, trying to improve myself has been super frustrating, and I can understand people saying how it’s not worth it. But remember guys (and girls), self improvement is a marathon, not a sprint!
The other day I felt like I had stagnated and fallen into old patterns, but then my phone showed me a selfie (I only keep selfies that I think look decent!) of exactly one year ago, and my reaction was „eww“.
I’m currently trying to become a more considerate person (while slowly improving my wardrobe) but oh man, getting compliments from people that used to think I’m ugly feels AMAZING
It’s like Social Proof. It affirms that you’re doing the right thing!
@@TheoCynical Getting social proof doesnt affirm you are doing the "right" thing. It proves you are doing the "current" thing.
i.e.sleeping around. Is it "right"? No. Is it socially desirable in the current culture? Yes. You will be shamed for not doing it and complimented for doing it. Man or woman.
Keep grinding to get validation from those who didn’t give a fuck bout you earlier bro
@@ponternal yes, we live in a society. That’s normally how that sort of stuff works anyways.
I can understand, and i wish you luck on your journey. May your gains be great and your struggles pay off in dividends. :)
Just be sure to do it for the right reasons. Those being attaining your highest self as much as possible, not the admiration of others. That will come naturally as your journey continues toward that end for that desire. So don't fret over it. If the society deserves you at your best, they will love you. If they don't then it's their fault not yours. So you shouldn't serve their needs to begin with. If they refuse to love you, then make them fear you. If you can have both that's best. But it's better to be feared, than to be loved. And being your highest self is step 1 of achieving that in it's ultimate. For you can't be truly successful in life if you don't know yourself and actualize that into reality.
Do it for you, basically. Not for others. That will have the best long term outcomes. :)
Babe I can’t talk right now… self maximize just dropped!!!!
😂😂😂🎉
This!!!
ahaaa
(gets dumped)
4:17 “some people want things but forget about what the world wants from them”. Absolutely spot on.
they're called socialists
@@mariansam_was_taken huh?
Only time you should fight this is when you personal boundaries are getting crossed. For example if your wife want you to earn all the income, do all the chores and she still won't give you sex, then that's when you draw the line.
@@smokingcrab2290
At that point you aren’t forgetting to offer something though, they are
I say it again: Just give this guy a medal. He solved it. Again.
The cool thing is, that even though it is quite a lot of information at once, it is still relatively easy to understand, because it is so straight forward. You are a real genius, when you can explain the most complicated things very easily.
It annoys me how he talks about how he moved from one coast to another, and not about how you can move from one country to another.
real question: don't you ever get tired of not "being yourself"?
I have self maximized in the past. Went to the gym, dressed better (but not confortable) clothing, learned to talk better. It indeed attracted more women to me.
But after some time, I got tired of putting all that effort. Went back to what I'm confortable with and women stopped giving me attention. And I just accepted it.
Didn't this ever happened to you? Maybe it happened to me because I didn't climb high enough to get to the point where the benefits are bigger than me investment?
>Cost to benefit ratio
Why did you self-maximize in the first place? What motivated you? How old are you?
It sounds like you gave up before maxing became an effortless routine vs. feeling like labor. Hop back on the wagon and stick with it this time until it feels routine. Going on 3 years straight of cold showers for me and that's all I'll take for the rest of my life. It still doesn't feel routine, but it feels wrong and I'll step away from the water if it's above a certain temp on my skin; that's how maximizing in general should feel.
Drugs and alcohol will "dull" that wrongness sensation, so if you've picked up those habits, you have to drop them completely or this cycle of quitting will continue.
@@KingDavid0606 I did it out of curiosity. I wanted to know whether or not people would perceive me diferently because of it.
Also, I don't live in US. Cold showers are the norm here. Being clean is just what regular people here do, @loxtuf. I'm always surprised to be remembered many people in the US don't clean themselves.
I also don't do drugs or alcohol. I'm very healthy. I was not refering to these things in my comment.
I was refering to changes in personality.
@@justaguy3518 i only use the 'be clean' example because the video did. You replace it with some other easy thing that is more relevant to you. I used to do a lot of things i didn't like to do so i could fit in with people. It was hard and i got sick of it. But often i think it was a good thing to do for a while. The world is not really made for you, so it will be hard being yourself and hard being someone else.
This is the comment I was looking for
I will try not to go on a old man ramble over here and keep this short. Yes, I felt exhausted.
Don't get me wrong, self-maximizing did wonders for me. Work and financial life is great, made good habits exercise and diet wise, met people and got more charismatic, etc...
However it got to a point where I found myself pretty much at a "hamster wheel". Running in the same place, not because I was not getting results but because I wasn't getting any happier. I was constantly being incongruent, putting up a performance, hiding behind a mask of someone I wasn't. So I stopped. Ofc some results stopped with it, but I couldn't care. I already was at a point I was satisfied with. And it made all the difference.
I would recommend everyone to try self maximizing. After all, it would be a shame dying before seeing what you are actually capable of. However, I would also recommend to know when to stop. Some results that you may think you want are not what you really want. You will notice it during your journey.
No way this notification just showed up
Yup 😎
I swr
Fr I don’t even believe it at this point
Deadass. Months of what felt like lies
I've been following this channel for quite some time now. It's very worthwhile. I strongly recommend looking for the older videos, they cover the larger topics and give a good general view of the subject (male-female relationships) while the more recent videos are more focused on specific, narrower topics.
What people need to understand is that hoe_math’s intention is not to make chads. its to make objectively good men that understand why they are objectively attractive which makes better partners
I'm not sure he's telling men to become partners. If anything, this video is a demotivator and reveals to men how absurd the standards of modern women are.
I just want everyone to clean themselves up and be honest about what they deserve and then get it and be satisfied.
@@Cybertech134I don’t think it’s all that absurd once you just see it for what it is. The only major absurdity is the $ issue and that’s just fucked today. I think all the other stuff would sort out with enough comfort socializing which just comes with exposure. I doubt you need to be “the top guy” everywhere, but just one of the guys who are useful to a group or community. Remember we were never really designed for Global society. The local chicken farmer boys were the top of chicken farming. The blacksmith guy was the top of blacksmithing. Really it just amounts to specialization of value to a particular thing. I just think the global (or even city) scale makes everything hella dramatic. But the plus side is, you don’t have to actually be amazing to everybody. Just amazing in your sphere of influence.
My bigger issue (and my main moral gripe) is that this model fundamentally implies that unfairness from hierarchy is inescapable & I struggle to be okay with that. It feels even if I were to strive for success, like my success will necessitate someone else’s failure. I don’t know how to accept that morally.
I dont know about "objectively good men"... this is more like a comprehensive tutorial on realizing why you aren't her dream guy, showing you what you're doing wrong and why, and then switching gears to get on that path. The women this video references and their desires really rarely line up with "objective goodness". If it was how you say he'd be called moral_math and still making self-improvements videos, just with a different goal than being capable of bagging the majority of women with high demands
Problem is: There are a lot of blissfully ignorant, obnoxious ways to become pseudo-alpha. And most alphas were relatively born into their condition, and are thus often on unconscious autopilot. So even some of the most widely admired take their gifts for granted like a pampered kid born into an absurd inheritance, and it doesn’t profit them in a sublimated way to the same degree it could a diamond in the rough who had to consciously work to clean himself up.
There are those who are born with, or blindly stumble their way into intuitive power-and then there are those who become consciously, professionally self-aware of their power and harness it to its fullest potential through metacognative analysis & synthesis.
Someone said "people with low motivation need systems like this to progress" and I agree, even though this video isn't able to elaborate on nuances regarding societal & familial influence shaping how women view the world around them. I feel as though there are many pockets of culture that do not subscribe to the traits you associated with women (but also you mentioned the video would be impossible to make if you didn't summarise so I assume you're generalising intentionally). I thoroughly enjoy your focus on levels of consciousness & how we interact with our community/society as a greater whole.
I'm just passing through and commenting but if any men happen to read this (particularly if you're neurodivergent and appreciate directness) remember that women can be complex, self-aware and conscientious people and not automations enslaved by their desire by default. if you're encountered those types, try reframing it as "i've just interacted with someone with a behavioural problem who was likely raised poorly" not "damn all women suck!!!". good luck fellas
All people are complex, self aware and conscientious to some degree. Most won’t be enslaved by attractiveness and attention alone.
That's kinda the point of his channel if you watch other videos
I follow your Instagram and legit just found this channel. Didn’t know you had a yt, feels like a crossover episode 😂
It's not that I think all woman suck, he said we should look at the person who likes us and then draw the intersection with who we like.
In my experience, women that liked me didn't act that much different than the women that were suing or talking trash about other men. If the girl liked me, I understand she wants to see how much I like her but after I saw her with other dudes and she's making rbf towards me and acting like she doesn't, don't come back later saying I didn't show interest. I mean, I don't wanna go to jail.
Thank you, friend. Godspeed to you and your endeavors. We're all in this together.
To be the man she wants is really, really hard it’s mentally draining. Having a good stable career, being fit, processing emotions so you can be your best… but then she wants you to take care of half the household chores? Child care? It’s honestly not worth the squeeze. Back in the day you’d give a woman $1 and you’d get $3 in value back now you’re lucky to get 50 cents of value… if you are a woman and want someone to take care of you be worth that! Learn to cook, take care of the house, manage finances etc
After having the SAHM I will never ever do that again!!!
It took a few months but it was worth it bc Hoemath is a modern philosopher
he explains stoicism, price markets, statistics, a meta-analysis of behavior, power politics and aesthetics without mentioning them directly. This is quality content, sir that should be translated to every other language like spanish (i can help you with that) it would make a killing
Yes! Spanish please. I'm trying to show these videos to my wife
Japanese too. Jpn is struggling badly.
real as fuck
@@TheoCynicalisint it a 3:1 women to men there
Watch out guys, this dude's favorite book is by Julius Evola, one of the original fascist philosophers. He has made some interesting observations in his videos but something has always felt off when I watch them. When he said that he really liked that book it explained to me where that feeling was coming from. He has poisoned his mind with the writings of a cynical and rather nihilistic fascist and it shows in the way that he sees the world. I guess there's a few things you might learn here but please do not drink his Kool aid and become a cynic.
I want to share a neat little shortcut that some of you could use: Ballroom dancing.
Yes yes, I know, it sounds weird, but hear me out. There is a reason all girlfriends in the world try to get their boyfriends to have dance classes with them. Ballroom dancing gives you soooo many things that women want and it shows. Let me put down all the positive aspects that ballroom dancing has:
1. It shows you are confident. You don't follow the stigma against men dancing.
2. It shows social skills. Ballroom dancing is a social sport. At ballroom dance parties, asking women to dance with you makes you practice those social interactions.
3. Once you get good, it shows competency (which also turns into confidence) in both knowing how to move your body as well as musicality (both very attractive traits for most women)
4. It shows that you know how to lead. Being able to lead someone across a room shows authority and that you have the power to make other do what you tell them to do.
5. You learn how to present yourself. When you enter the ballroom dancing world, you'll notice that there are a lot of "old fashioned" rules about how to present yourself. Having nice clothes, walking in a certain way etc. These help to show you are well put together, that you know how to take care of yourself.
6. You get some exercise. Even though it's not the most demanding sport, it is nice to have some cardio regardless.
7. Because most people at parties don't just dance with 1 partner (although there are plenty who do), you show women that women like you. With mate choice copying, this will snowball much faster than you think, even with women who don't dance.
8. You get to meet a lot of women in an offline context. Rolling the roulette wheel IRL is so much more effective than it is online. Simply meeting more women IRL will higher your chances to find someone, even if nothing else changes.
If you don't have a sport yet, maybe consider it. I started dancing when I was 23, without ever having kissed a girl, let alone have a relationship with one. I'm a fairly average guy but after less than 2 years of ballroom dancing without changing anything else I managed to find a girlfriend. I've never been happier, I spend most of my days with her and we are considering getting married, which leads me to my next point. Even though women may have damaged you, even though it may seem hopeless, like you'll never manage to find someone, or if it seems that most women are insane, they aren't as crazy as some of you seem to think. Once you have a loving relationship, the amount of love and care and support you'll receive is honestly so good. Men and women are made for each other, if not by God, then at least by evolution. Being together with a good women is the best thing that happened in my life and people who are in a similar position as me know what I'm talking about. I hope all of you find love and a women to care for, just as much as she cares for you. I hope self maximize will help you with this. Have faith, don't give up, you can do it even when it all seems so dire.
gay
@@dkillips Chad and Tyrone NEVER did ballroom dancing!
@@tonyadams8812lmfao stop worrying about imaginary blacks you dreamed up in your head, statistics from dating apps and statistics offices around the west show that white women choose black guys the least of any other group by a large margin.
So if that really matters in your head maybe don't put down a legitimate skill because imaginary competition in your head scared you out of it. Lmfao.
Plus dancing is quite big in the black community anyway. Not to mention if you want the girl that's chasing after "tyrone" that's your call lmfao
Tango is good too. Even for a double left footie like me
@@dkillipsSo simple yet so effective lmao
"so keep the problem, then" is gold, looking for my chance to use that at work.
bro really said "autism glasses" twice 😂
My question is what makes them autism glasses? Is it the frames? 😂
The first time he said it caught me so off guard
I was initially annoyed… then humored! 😅
@@elmalifico3708 yes frames, glasses that only professional artists can wear not mere men.
@@matviyk3066Choosing frames is hard ,with my current ones i look like a nerd and with thin ones I look like harry potter
I have to learn quantum psychology to get a modern woman, while my ancestors were like "Here flower, here shelter"
Hearing all these points sound good, but hella overwhelming with all the points there where
Might have been easier to get a wife. But it's always been the case that men's attractiveness is based more or less on this criteria.
@jimmynone1956 create a 1, 5, and 10 year plan. Execute your plan. Eat better and exercise every day. Wash your ass and clean/moisturize your face. Take the hint and leave the shit parts about you behind as you identify them. It's really not as hard as it seems
@@jimmynone1956 It's supposed to sound overwhelming because these are not normal, healthy, nor sane standards.
@@Cybertech134cope
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself" Nietzsche
Have loved this so much since I read it back in the day. Hard to see the benefits sometimes, but is absolute.
Being accountable and responsible is far more important than being your own person.
@@Primatenate88 You need to be accountable and responsible in order to be your own person anyway.
@@Hollowed2wiz True, maybe it's all gradient
can you hear the silence, can you fix the broken, can you feeeel my heaaaaaa- A-A-A-A
We gotta study to get a gf now lmao
They used to have cheesy videos and pamphlets about etiquette and hygiene. It's been more art than instinct since before we lost our fur. Prolly since before we lost our tails.
You don't have to, but you should ask yourself if you should not want to study to get a girlfriend you want. Even if you do it from an egoistical reason, it will contribute to everyones well-being
The right gf*
If you read Swoon by Betsy Prioleau, you would find most seducers in history were studying for these as well. There were way more evolved guys than naturals
You have to study to be a better person, yeah.
I’ve been watching TH-cam videos for a decade, and your videos are the most informative ones I’ve ever seen. You are literally making the best content in the trillions of hours of videos inside of this platform. Keep it up
After joining the levelcheck community and implementing a lot of these fundamentals into my day to day I literally am excited to wake up each morning and get shit done, this isn't just a how to get a wife guide it's a how to get a life guide.
YES! You get it and it's working. That's exactly how I intended it.
Looks like ive already been doing it. Whats your opinion on ultra money maxxing and just bulldozing life on ez mode once you got connections and cash
what is the levelcheck community?
Word.
damn institutional nihilism isnt effective!? holy shit boy. someone tell the education system and feminists.
wait, they wanted weak men didnt they.
HM is dropping insane amounts of advice for 0 dollars and 0 cents. Not all heroes wear capes.
I'm charging for the exercise packet. And for coaching.
I am charging for the packet.
It cost money & time to change for the better. It’s not free.
@@hoe_math I could really use some couching sessions. How can we arrange that? (I am from Latin America)
@@D2222 no I meant the video
I have 11yr old twins B/G and this video will change they way I raise them. Everything you talk about I have experienced as a 48yr old man. Pure insight.
you, my guy, have got life figured out, and im so thankful you are sharing all of this for free. thank you, from the bottom of my heart
If you consider this "life figured out" you are in for a rough ride.
What I got from this video,
Self Maximize is to:
Men:
1. Look awesome.
2. Be awesome to talk to.
3. Be awesome to be around of.
4. Be awesome at something.
5. Be the awesomest that ever awesomed someway somewhere .
6. Be awesome at getting what you want.
7. Be awesome at investing your time wisely.
Women:
1. Be attractive.
2. Be wholesome.
3. Be chaste.
Women: still be the one that chooses
yes precisely. but more importantly, be realistic about what in your life comes from you and what comes from the world.
Nature christens women and society christens men. They give birth and we do not. Double standards exist for a reason
@@hoe_math ah yes:
0. Understand life.
There’s a shortcut for this list. Get really mother f’n rich as she!t and you’ll be good
A lot of us weren't raised particularly well. I learned how to tie a tie from the internet in my mid 20's. Just reminding people of the basic things they should be prioritizing and improving is important. Figuring out what advice to follow in the ocean of information once you decide to better yourself can be a little more tricky.
U hit the nail!
I dont even know what i want or who i am.
Like i didnt have a solid base to build upon it.
So the building came out faulty and damged.
I want to know how i can assess and than figure out how to repair it.
Or should i demolish all and start from the ground up.
@@Noah-re7elsame
Most guys I know that are succesful in dating dont even own a tie. Let alone know how to tie it. If you think thats important for women in partner selection you must live in the 1960s.
@@TheSuperappelflap lol. That's pretty hilarious response. Bro. Let me spell it out for you: I wasn't saying ties impress girls. I was illustrating how many of us in the last few generations were not raised well rounded. We lacked role models and father figures. The kind of people who might teach you how to tie a tie. So we filled the gap with things like the internet. But it's hard to know what influences and informations to choose. Knowing how to tie a tie might not get you a girl but those kinds of life lessons add up. They add up to more confidence and opportunities and those DO get you girls. Get it?
@@ricksflicks- I did grow up learning those things and no it doesn't help at all. Get a neck tattoo, not a neck tie, if you want more women.
Most well paying jobs don't even require ties anymore, it's only good for weddings and funerals. Mostly funerals since no is getting married anymore.
I cant imagine how long this took to put together. You have some of the most astute observations i have ever seen.
Quick tip for improving posture I got from a chiropractor.
Image there's a large man with a knife standing behind you, pressing the tip his knife against the center of your back, just below your shoulders blades.
That muscle group you feel tightening up? Thats the one you should be focusing on using and strengthening when walking.
Thx
Men should self-maximize to get someone who Chad minimized
It levels the playing field...
Hey, Chad here. I'm about to self-maximize, so you better hit it double time because with this, the last of the infinity stones, I shall become Dark GigaChad. Your girlfriends, wives, and adult daughters are no longer safe! Get caught up or get rekt!
Instead of putting in 10x the effort for 1/10th the value, they should grab their PASSPORTS and self maximize their knowledge of the target country's culture.
@@chadhatter damn
@@chadhatter Love your comment. Fellow black Chad here (Tyrone) almost in Gigachad/Tyrone final form.
Dudes better watch out !
Jokes aside guys need to stop being lazy and improve in every facet of their lives to reach their full potential. That was the crux of this video.
Salute 🫡
I'm buying self maximize not just because I want to do better at dating but I want to do better by myself. Everything that makes you more appealing to women is something I should be for myself anyways. In-shape, put-together, well-spoken, skilled, and confident. Thanks as always for sharing your insight.
....really? You'd be motivated to do all the things even if you were destined to die a lonely virgin?
@@ohjay7612a guy who changes himself and improves himself in the way the guy in the video is statistically not going to die a virgin. Probably lottery winning odds if they died alone
@@ohjay7612 not OP, but I think it is important to be motivated. If improving is THE goal, not just the means, he's got a better chance or sticking to the process.
Besides, having sex is as easy as saving a week's worth of wages and hiring a sexual worker. I don't think it is as compelling of a goal as visiting Greece or building your dream workshop.
@@user-hp5mj2gs6m in the United States sex workers are illegal and even if it wasn't, obviously what I meant is someone willing to have sex with you for free consistently.
I think there's a denial among a lot of people of how much women are motivations for men. Lonely virgins don't exactly have the same incentive to do these things
@@ohjay7612 Being a virgin is a more about lacking meaningful relationships with the opposite sex, then.
If I was destined to "die a lonely virgin", focusing on the process would still be better overall.
How can one crave an unknown feeling so much to the point of eclipsing the pursuit of improvement? You can still do what you love, have friends, enrich your community, etc.
I get that this video can be useful for some people, but it could also cause people to stop with things they are passionate about since it "isn't appreciated by women". Finding a partner isn't the end goal in life, see it more like a side mission. I really think this should be talked about more, before giving men advice on how to radically change themselves.
This is probably the best explanation of modern "dating" psychology I've seen. You're doing great work brother.
Great advice. It’s funny how men’s coaches are always coaching men to increase their strength. Appearance. Career. Take control. Female coaches teach them to hate men, not settle, wait for a good one to come along. Ie, be helpless. And then call yourself a 10.
There are not many good female coaches, sadly.
To be fair, I suspect they have a tougher clientele.
Men good FeMaLeS bad reeeeeee
Women would never hire or listen to a coach who tells them to change or that it's not the world which should change to suit their whims.
Honestly there isn't much to teach them aside from not being fat, and being a wholesome supportive person, but many don't want to hear those things.
Here comes the DROP!
This is just the start, what this can do for this generation of men growing up will be monumental in how we think, act and change our behavior.
It wont. Relationship issues come from (social) media and technology offering our stone age brains input that they never evolved to deal with.
Self maximizing wont change that. It will only increase the pressure on men as now everyone needs to selfmaximize to be average. Still wont put you ahead of the curve.
@@earlgrey2130would you rather self maximize or self minimize to get what you want?
@@earlgrey2130 The amount of people watching HM is tiny in comparison to the worlds population and the amount of people actually successfully executing self maximize is even smaller. Following his advice will absolutely put you ahead of the curve.
The ability to teach has enabled humans to surpass classical evolution a long time ago. Yes our brains werent even close to ready for the internet, but thankfully we dont need to biologically evolve before we can adopt, we can hyperspecifically change our way of thinking, not needing mutation and natural selection.
The problem is men trying to be what women want won't be successful. Because what women want isn't consistent. Just look at all the most desirable men who get divorced be their wives
@@stinkystink9830 I rather live a life of relative comfort from the work I put in. I want to live in a society where I'm able to attract normal women and live a normal regular life. I give zero fucks about "being ahead of the curve" I just want a compatible woman who I can share my life with.
What is self maximizing going to do for me? I'm already doing most of these things without being aware of it since I was a teen, and you know where that got me? More hardship and struggle because we're currently dealing with a culture full of extremely unserious people, I alone cannot "self-maximize" my way out of this cesspool. There needs to be a societal overhaul of our social norms.
This is like taking an entire college course in 30 minutes. It's a lot on my plate. I'm just going to start with fitness and money and then fill in the other pieces as I go. The things that I can't change overnight like fashion, haircut, etc. are my first targets.
I also increased my SMV score by 4 points through years of power-lifting, learning, fixing my appearance, and nailing a career. Unfortunately, I started as a 2 and and so the end result was that I became a 6. Which still left me in the ghost category despite reaching my genetic ceiling. I have no regrets though, because I did it all for myself, and not for women.
a 6 in the USA is a 9 in south east Asia, the Mediterranean, or South America. The literally millions of girls for your picking but now you have to put yourself where you re of value, which is not here. I went through Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand and the Philippines 12 years ago when I was 51 and have been overwhelmed ever since with beautiful girls (18-25) that want me to do them and or marry them. Travel, my man, and find your future.
"you don't have the attention span" dog you've been leading us on for months about this video and it is constantly on my mind. I was expecting a 3 and a half hour video ;( though I'm very thankful to finally see the illusive "self maximize" Thank you and I will be awaiting more wisdom as you deposit it
Really nice to have someone provide helpful, actionable advice in a way that humanizes men and women. Too many redpill content people spit truth one sentence and bullshit the next, and too many women provide unhelpful advice for men, even if they're trying to see it from our perspective. Very grateful HoeMath exists.
Ngl, as a guy who dislikes a lot of red-pill content and grifters, I can appreciate this vid for not just being completely sane but also pretty useful advice.
Agreed. I would say the one thing he missed is that essentially women do have a specific skillset men are often vetting for. It is just so subtle. Essentially a woman classically is the equivalent socially of spymaster, publicist, therapist, life coach and so on with the eye toward social harmony and dealing with threats or problems far before a man would be able to identify them.
Wow this guy might lowkey be the best self improvement coach out there, please keep it going Champ !!!!😮😮😮
This is very inspiring to me. I’ve been self destructive and letting myself deteriorate the last several years as I have had no motivation and just given up on life. Basically if I got clobbered by a bus, I’d be ok with it. But I’m going to study this and attempt to make the changes to improve myself. You are doing great work here and I’m glad you’re making a living from it. I can only hope many others take away at least 1/4 of the things you’re saying and make a positive change in their life. Thank you for this sir.
I just want to thank you for all your hardwork, the overwhelming praise and support you receive might all turn into a blur, but you should know that you're actually making a very positive impact on the world and you should be proud of your work. God bless you.
Feedback:
In some ways, very plain advice. And yet I feel that way because it is so comprehensive and simply explained. Almost feels like one already knows it. Very practical and clear direction and that makes it super easy and motivating to act on, at least as a man.
Tied together a couple loose ends for me like with the power vs respectability hierarchies. But most importantly made me realize I actually know everything I need to know on this topic, which is a god send for someone like me who always feeling like there’s something missing. It’s like putting a container around the complexity and making the issues very stable and obvious.
Great work man and very appreciated
It’s your idiosyncrasies. I’ve only viewed 3 of your videos up to now and you’re fucking fantastic. Keep on it. You have something incredibly rare and I’m so enthused to see you sharing it with the world.
I am happy married in one of the best relationships yet witnessed by mankind, but this is excellent content to how I can have an even better relationship by improving myself an being conscious on my wife's on going needs.
Great video.
Not enough people out there are teaching meta-cognition and how to interpret/use feedback in a down to earth, practical way (with pictures and arrows!), and that skill is SORELY needed for men AND women. Thanks for the hard work, @hoe_math !
I particularly like the examples of people getting the feedback they requested but still saying, "no, it's the CHILDREN who are wrong" and refusing to adapt. Hopefully those examples will reveal how some people are handicapping themselves everyday.
The flow chart is really good. Makes it clear exactly how to approach any problem in life, not just dating.
Seriously fam. Keep this up. Crazy helpful. And always helps people like me find the line when we feel like we lost it.
I think I did the same thing but through trail and error. At 54 my last 4 gf's were 19,20, 25 and 25. I also started working out and improving myself. But to be honest there aren't many if any women worth all the work.
As a more visual learner, these videos are super helpful. Love how punchy and factual HM presents them. They’ve given me confidence on where I’m at now and a good roadmap on what to work on. Thanks for the content!
My favorite part was all the comments on a 25min video less than 15 min into it being released.
LOL right? cult of personality
@@hoe_math comment fast watch slowly
Do people still watch videos in 1x speed?
I love that he took the concept of Chakras and Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and created this. Genius.
Amazing observation
As a woman, I really want you to make a video on what things to look for or avoid doing ourselves to NOT get into the sleeper/ sweeper zone.
For context : I am in late 20s but have a too much of a clean past. When men approach me and ask things which are physical stuff then I dont know if that is his way of showing interest or just a way to score fast. Can you please guide on how to not fall in traps but also how not to miss out on genuine men?
Context. Early 30's no relationships before now, a few dates. Traditionalist Christian values for myself and a woman I look for.
I don't want any sleeper or sweeper woman. So while i'm open to a date, to explore and hangout with a woman, it's to explore expanding the relationship. What kind of person are you?
As I have observed elsewhere in life, sex seems to work best if it is with a person you are already locked in with. Where the repercussions (Positive and negative or neutral) of the sex are thus properly dealt with between those two people. The classic "Save it for marriage" means any change in the relationship, HAS to be dealt with between those two people who did the deed instead of a future boyfriend or ex or situationship or whatever.
WAY too much emotion in any relationship(Even one night stands) and chemical deluge in the brain when sex happens to treat it elsewise.
Imagine treating a heroin overdose as something casual? Or a Rape event as something to just walk off?
Sex is a big deal, and having it happen too early in the relationship adds baggage to both sides in some form that requires BOTH sides to deal with. Even if it's POSITIVE baggage.(Not just kids. But all the emotions/reactions from eachother and friends and more) And a marriage was historically a great way of ensuring that the relationship was developed enough so that both sides already had an actual emotional relationship with eachother to deal with those consequences AND ensured/forced both sides to actually be there to begin with and the guy didn't run off. Marriage made the man. A married man is proof that he was a reliable man if only because he HAD to be.
So, with all that. MY view is that a way to avoid sleeper/sweeper is to just not have sex with them until marriage. And yes, with modern life how it is, that sucks for both sides. There is a reason I dislike feminism, it hurts women too not just me.
As for how to not miss out on genuine men? Not so sure I can answer that properly beyond making sure to keep an eye out for the invisible 1-7 scale people. Good men exist, they are just usually invisible, not hiding.
Find a guy who isn't miserable, who can at least be upbeat, (And takes a freaking shower.) and ask for a date yourself. Make sure he knows that you want to explore building the relationship, not just having a boyfriend/girlfriend. If they know they ain't getting anything early, it weeds out anyone who sees you as sleeper/sweeper.
And yes, you probably have to ask, not wait for them to ask. Sorry.
First date is for "Can this person put up a front I enjoy? Not money wise, but can they at least dress well and hold conversation?" A dinner and movie is a classic for a reason.
What books do you guys enjoy? Movies? Hobbies? Low level stuff still lets you know about them by HOW they answer, not WHAT they answer.
2nd date is an enhancement of the first. You didn't build anything in the relationship really in the first date, just ensured that they passed the decent human being test.
So now you start upping the ante, next is a walk on a public beach or something. Now it's the conversation that has to carry things. The dinner/movie was a crutch for conversation. Now you have to actually talk without having a movie fresh in the mind to talk about. Still lower level stuff though. Ask deeper questions about the hobbies they mentioned last time.
3rd date is fancy. You both passed initial tests of character and decency. Now how does a bit of trust and cost change things? A FANCY dinner, or a play perhaps? Something that requires some investment on both your parts. Money/tickets/suit on his part. You spent time and money on looking NICE. (not slutty/sexy. Trying to have a GOOD relationship, not a Lust relationship. you can do that later as a tease for marriage. not a tease for boyfriend) Notice the first two dates are NOT expensive emotionally or walletwise? Now it is for the THIRD date. To test the waters for how things happen once it starts COSTING you guys in the dating stage. (Yes, it costs you too. Emotionally/time at least.)
Once you have had 3 dates. (makes sure you both understand the point of each date. Conversation starter anyway...maybe not a good one, but important.)
Then you can go from there. Discussion on how/what the 4th date is. Or maybe advancing to hangout time. That's on both of you to figure out.
Regardless, the first 3 dates cut out all the sweeper/sleeper.
BE realistic about your looks, your weight, and what you look and smell like naked. THAT is what we are judging you on first and foremost.
THEN, once you realize you are NOT a 10 but probably a 2, date within your class of men, and dont think you "deserve better" than what you can get
>>> the guys that you think you want or that you think should be with you in no way want you, they can do MUCH MUCH better. Once you realize that, then you will be OK
If a man asks for physical stuff early, it shows he doesn't value you for you. If he values you for you, he's gonna wait until he's sure you're comfortable with it. By asking for physical stuff early, he is basically taking a gamble that you are DTF quick. By taking that gamble, he's accepting the risk that you will be turned off and ditch him, but he doesn't care because in that case he'll just move on to the next woman.
For most guys it's impossible for a woman to have too much of a "clean" past. If he knows you're the one, he'll be happy to teach you how to please him. For guys, knowing that you have a clean past creates additional physical and emotional intimacy. Wait for the right person to explore physical stuff together as a bonding activity.
Guys who are trying to get laid will ask for physical stuff from loads of women, knowing that the chance of success tends to be low, but making up for it with numbers. Many of the men who try to initiate with you will be pursuing such a "spray and pay" strategy, even though they aren't necessarily a majority of the population. If you learn to take initiative yourself, you can sample from the pool of guys as a whole, as opposed to the pool of "spray and pay" guys. The trick is to be friendly without coming across as easy.
@@Eben948 lol that is some high school level bull shit
And as a man, I will give you the most straightforward answers I can: don't go home with some guy. Don't be in private with some guy. Court, never date. Never mess around with any guy. Be very clear that you won't and be sure everyone knows it, and then keep your word. That is a powerful thing that many of your competition has already screwed up, so you will be better than them in an important way. Your biggest problem unironically is that you said late 20s. Age is a massive issue women have to deal with. The younger you are courting and married off, the better. It's also hooked into the purity perception, as in an older woman is less likely to have not messed around, then there's attractiveness (virtually all men like youth and neotony to some degree, which is hardwired), then there's fertility (for the more intelligent men who think ahead and knew they wanted kids from youth, like how I was already thinking). At some level it's always a thing women need to care about. Networking is a big problem nowadays for everyone, and women need to be thinking about things in a timely way and not getting caught up in all the distractions (career, college, etc.). Time wasters are a big scam aimed at women designed to bring you down. Be wary of them.
For context, I am a prior Marine, never messed around, came from a violent home, got married to a psycho as a young man, somewhat older now, have done a lot of learning, improving, and value-building to get better in every way (except physical because I got messed up a long time ago and just basically rehab on that--I really hate that aspect of not being on top of physical game). I have seen a huge amount of just terrible behavior from females and got censored to death for talking about it in any real way. Of course, I peruse this stuff to learn about interpersonal things because I am a high-functioning autist. I'm also not tall (lol), but I am extremely capable and strong-willed and can get attention from chicas (definitely had some trying in the past and always ignored). Do what you will with my advice.
The tinder profile part had my dying! “Wine, NO HOOKUPS”. Whenever you see that, you know there’s a LOT of hooking up😂😂
Just don't be on some degenerate site like that for the love of god.
I think this is all on point and totally right, and i will do it, but i will always remember that: i am deeply convinced this shouldn't be the way the world lives. It is and it will remain so in my lifetime, but shouldnt be so. If we educate people differently, there will be for our sons or grandsons a world where women take accountability, money matter less, people are more equal and also equally considered (not like the women that only look to 1% of men). All of this is not the best world possible, it is only the simplest to imagine, and i will educate my son to understand the world as well as to imagine another
you can't "should" at the nature of a species. we will be as we will be.
society and education exist to shape and structure our nature. technology and culture have eroded it down to nothing. people are now selfish again and disconnected. If we don't re-create cultures with boundaries and defend them, we'll just turn into mush
@@hoe_math
(This is just my opinion, and i don't dedicate my life to it like you do, even if i thinks these are discussions that fall also out of the field you speak publicly about)
i have a vastly different opinion. In particular about the "turning into mush" thing. Technology has made us more disconnected, because the use of it turns off the brain, but culture hasnt made us disconnected or at least not in the same way. As there are people confused with less gender roles, there are also people who are more comfortable now. And there are studies that show how couples with less traditional beliefs are happier, for example because of a better partition of household chores.
If you consider positively society you cant at the same time discard the change of it if it arises from multiple people who are a part of society. Defending some boundaries is an artificial act as much as destroying them, so you should consider not what happens but the actual reason behind it.
The fact that society is born in some way doesnt mean its the best, but often the simplest. Look at democracy, it was crazy when there was monarchy and people had just to follow orders because there was always an artificial justification of the king's power, and little education of poor people. Now monarchy is crazy for most of us and we hate every dictator. Same thing can happen in the dating world if we change some simple but not best things.
I would also suggest the book "Am I normal" from Sarah Chaney. The idea of normality is artificial, and so what comes from it, like the culture boundaries.
There is not for example a normal degree of sensibility. In 1700 "Der Junge Werther" was the most popular book and the ideal of the noble classes, and it talked about such a sensibility that leads to suicide. One hundred years later it was thought about as mental sickness.
Your map in the 1700s would be wrong, as now sensibility is not a characteristic we associate with powerful people, from who we take inspiration for a lot of likings and norms.
Or perhaps we can in fact change either our admiration for power or the people in power, now it is still important but well less than it could be hundreds of years ago for kings.
@@hoe_math who gives a fck bro
Just tell us the fax .
You get your money.
And let us destroy the world in speedy manner.
@@hoe_mathsociety and culture are the same exact thing.
@@coolbreezeinsummer culture is society, but with an added historical perspective.
The real heart of the issue described in this video is as follows:
Are you willing to take responsibility for not getting what you want, or are you going to blame it on everyone else?
This is not a hard question to answer. And I recommend, if you have a ton of things not in your control, to take control of those things. This is what men do.
It can be both....getting in shape doesn't get rid of human sin
I’m literally so glad I found this channel. I have no friends but you are my guide man
Man, you know what you are doing. I had thought that what I wanted from these four months was an hour long video with everthing in it. Turns out, that would have been boring for something that I had waited for months. Instead, I essentially wanted a shorter video followed by other short videos for specification, so all the excitement would not last an hour. You knew what I wanted better than myself.
I will use this as an exercise to understand human behavior better. Thank you, and keep changing the world as much as you can.
We DEFINITIVELY need a comprehensive video on each section of the zones checklist. Great video
just be yourselves and do the things you would like to do in life.. you don't need to compare yourself to others "success" someone will love you for you being YOU.
and why live a life trying to be someone else rather than truly you
be you.. do the things YOU Would love to do not what someone tries to make you feel you should be
This channel is one of the best things I stumbled upon on my self improvement journey
Just woke up and saw this, he did it, the mad lad finally did it
Watching this video increased my self maximize by 46%. I don't need to put any effort anymore. Thanks!
1 day of effort then slowly forgetting this video ever existed, anyway MADAME WEB IS OUT YOU GUYS!!! :O
Thanks for this exceptionally lucid and comprehensive guide to self-improvement.
This was the therapy I needed after having a burnout for five years, which impeded my ability to think above a layer three. Thx
You are awesome and deserve a million subscribers! Let's support this guy for breaking down everything so precisely to help us avoid over-analyzing it. ❤☺️ This video is utterly brilliant.
Why would u care though? your a woman right? u dont need to self maximize or "improve" your overall attractiveness
I went from about a 4 to about a 7. Some women still treat me as a ghost, some treat me like I'm a celebrity. Women still have preferences in looks it seems 😂
I think there's something to be said for the "black pill" space. Guys that are 6'+, 6-pack abs, etc, don't understand how much EASIER they have it when it comes to women. They're basically born with all of those "bad boy" traits and just have to figure out the rest (the right side axis of the Zones). They have such a head start that it's insane.
Of course they do. Many women and men definitely have a type. Many women in particular like a guy like their father or prominent father figure as far as many qualities are concerned. This is all speaking in generalities. If we make these improvements we will see general improvement with women and other areas of life.
@@drewg7441not as much as you think they might.
I say in all well meaning - get rid of this limiting belief.
@@drewg7441 they do have a head start but where black pillers go wrong is they think it’s all hopeless. Like hm said there’s so many things guys can do to improve
I mean yeah I'm pretty fit some girls think I'm hot asf some think I'm ugly. Same with guys. A friend of mine once told me that quite literally the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life was a 3/10 its insane.
This video is largely a reminder that most of us are just doomed to failure. I myself am pretty far in the autism spectrum, and the combination of dyspraxia + pathological demand avoidance + terrible situational awareness + severe aversions means that all attempts at self-improvement have failed.
The biggest problem I have with the assertion that a person could just change everything about themselves is that, if they could, they would've by now. I.E. I've never met a fat person who wasn't trying to lose weight, an ugly person who wasn't trying to look/dress better, a person with a bad habit that wasn't trying to break it, etc. The ability to self-maximize is a rare trait, and the people who have it just don't understand the people who don't.
I would suggest reading the book Mindset by Carol Dweck and trying to develop your growth mindset and trying to lessen your fixed mindset.
My most recent relationship had almost all of the things a woman should provide in the relationship. She checked all of the boxes on Interesting, Positive, Supportive, and Intimate, but that last one.. SANE, wasn't there. Zero check boxes in Sane. I stuck it out for a year and tried to give her every chance to mature in this dimension, didn't happen. Guys, if she doesn't check the "Self-Aware" box in SANE she is not going to improve in any of the other areas. So either accept her and love EXACTLY how she is or walk away, cause it is not going to change.
So get away if all boxes are not checked.
Damn. And all those tears I thought I was crazy. You nailed it. I would only add that everything you suggest helps in every area of life, not just boy/girl stuff. For example, if you’re in good physical condition you will be perceived more favorably in business relationships. And so forth…
I lost 65 pounds last year, and now everywhere I look I see fat people. It definitely has affected how I view people. You can do it, stop eating so many calories.
Being goodlooking definitely helps in business, its how I get most of my jobs. God bless female managers and HR personnel.
24:06 Feedback is positive and encouraging
Feedback: you do an incredible job respecting your audience by valuing their time. Your efforts towards brevity and clarity are very likely a major component of your success with these. Thanks!
Holy cow I can't even imagine the amount of work that went into this kind of video
Took months
Mr. Math, I am adding 'Riding the Tiger' to my list of books to read. Thanks for sharing that with us. I believe most of your audience members, like myself, are appreciative of all of your work. Thank you. I had not forgotten about 'Allegory of The Cave', 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance', works by Carl Jung, Spiral Dynamics, and Integral Theory from one of your other videos. I made a note to add those books and topics to my reading list. I am a man that works with my hands on helicopters and rotary wing parts and that takes reading technical and maintenance manuals, but also requires some critical thinking due to the nature of aircraft usage. Keeping a balance between 'thinking about thinking', thinking outside of yourself, and to think about others is a must for a civilized society to prosper. Maybe I did not vocalize that thought very well, but I hope the conveyance was achieved.
This was incredibly well thought out! I can't help but be curious about the more women oriented version of this, but I understand your demographic and interest are mostly men. A lot of this comes across as a psychological handbook for how to do things that your parents should have taught you while you were growing up, but didn't. I think the state of things today provides evidence for that sentiment. High quality work. Absolutely needed. Thank you for your service!
Even though I have reached some of the checkmarks you've communicated as basic foundations required to move up in Maslow's Hiearchy of Needs, I do think this chart is a valuable reference to have if you ever trip and fall in your life journey and lose your confidence or need to grow up more to tackle new challenges you're presented. So thank you for this!!!
It always tickles me how there are so many things laid out for us to do and remember and work on. Ladies just need to do one thing, exist.
Amazingly done. The whole lot of Personal Development related to increasing your chances to have a relationship, condensed in 24 minutes. This video deserves 100 million views or more.
Best 25 mins I spent w war flashbacks going inside my mind. This guy's actually insane.
The things about self confidence and removing insecurities is real. He actually made me check the video and channel statistics after that intro 0:44 😆
Fellas. I found this channel at the beginning of February and I just wasn't where I wanted to be. I watched every video on this channel. I joined the Patreon. I have put every piece of information to use. I have gone back and analyzed every girl I've even been involved with and figured out why they weren't interested in me or why it failed. Every answer is here. Now I have more girls on dating apps interested in me than I know what to do with. Im seeing a beautiful woman that actually brings things to the table. Im more confident and happy than I've ever been. THIS IS GOSPEL. You already know that though, otherwise you wouldn't be here right?
enjoy the high while it lasts
Absolutely going to come back for this series. These videos are fascinating to me especially when you simplify a complex concept to make it into an example. There's really no point I can disagree w what you're saying or a point where I don't see the value in saying it, but the examples you pick and the way you omit portions of their context to fit your framework exposes your ignorances. It's not terrible or anything but it's like, you figured out this stuff to a degree that most people never will, but have so much more to learn. Like I said, really interesting. I watched your integral theory vid too and it's amazing that you could introduce people to it but that's probably where you should leave it. Saying "guys, look up integral theory" is probably your best contribution to the subject as of now. Also don't change the images or the thumbnails, it fits the channel and content perfectly.
I think this is good advice in general - people should always be working to improve themselves, even if they aren’t looking for a ‘significant other,’ or even if they already have one.
We can always improve, and we should; our lives will be better for it regardless.
Give this man a Nobel prize. He solved life!
The secret to life is literally self improvement and it's time that these people wake up to that fact
its not
My brother needs to see this. Me and my wife have been trying to help him for almost 2 years. This is exactly what iv been trying to explain to him but in a way better way. Hes 27 and never had. Girl friend. He gets way to in to a crush out of his league and obsesses over her then gets friend zoned or worse the creepy guy treatment. I just keep telling him girls have options and your not there best one. You have to be better than the other guys talking to her.
The dating market gonna impload because of all the competition this video will create 😂
50% of men can't be in the top 10%
How will it be loading imps...did you mean 'implode'?
If every man is high value then no man is
@@nathandobbs7540nah then only the highest value is value. though i think if the difference between the peak and current option is reduced there will be less issues with monkey branching, idk tho.
@@PhantomFilmmaker-jd9homore like 75%
Desire is the source of all suffering
Tell me when you’re enlightened
I don't know about that. Personally I don't have any strong desires and I just feel bored and miserable most of the time.
Desire is the contract you make to be unhappy until yo fulfil it
Right message, wrong video 😂
That is so nonsensical it's not worth the effort of refuting
Hoe_Math is the hero we all needed. Thank you.
I’m 19, and have been using this metacognition throughout my entire life as I had a lot of free time and self reflection was always how I coped. I found that this strategy is exactly what I’ve been using and it has worked pretty well. People respect you more, they talk to you easier, you don’t have to put in as much effort just to talk to people, it has also let me crawl out of depression and change how I react to stimuli as well as learn new skills. Remember, this strategy isn’t just for dating, but for almost any problem you have. It teaches you how to consider your own actions, how you and others reply to those actions, and how you can change to achieve the response that you want.
Wow, dude you are really taking this to next level. Rather than just bit@hing about how bad things are, you are giving everyone solutions. Bravo!
Nowadays it is definitely better to be loved than feared.
H_M has read Evola, and now I know he's been holding WAAAAAY back on his power level
>9000
@@hoe_math unfathomably based
@@hoe_math I'm not surprised. What is ridiculous is us having to hide it in the first place. I'm glad you found success doing something you like though.