I didn't even want to hear it, because I've always known. I think about it alot but it hurts more every time. I *will* never be cis-gender, but in the end I'm not transitioning to become a cis-man, I'm transitioning to become ME.
As a cis male, who is currently still living under the roof of transphobic household, I was transphobic almost my entire life. It wasn't until I looked around, and truly realized what trans people go though. For those who I may have unknowingly hurt, I am deeply sorry. It hurts to know that people struggle like this, and that I turned a blind eye to the situation for so long. Even though realistically I probably haven't hurt anyone since I have very few people I actually talk to, I really want to say I am sorry. I'm thankful I got this off my chest.
Unfortunately the dark side of our social nature is we have a habit of absorbing whatever group-think is around us without a second thought, even group-think that's vile and hateful and downright deplorable. This is why some very unjust positions of society can remain for a thousand years or more yet suddenly seem to change overnight when the tides of change force the apathetic to self reflect on it, like what's happened for homosexuality. I think transgender acceptance is about at the place where homosexuality was in the early 2000's, and as scary as that is especially for anyone that's trans there's a light of hope to that as well, that just around the temporal corner, there's a wind of change blowing and we just have to make it there to see it, that we will, and things *will* get better. I highly recommend the episode "deep canvasing" from the podcast You Are Not So Smart on this note. It's just one very promising tactic of affecting change in the toolbox but to me at least to hear of it and how it came to be discovered was a very eye opening thing for me. The jest of it goes that after a slight majority of voters in California of all places back in 2008 voted against same sex marriage, the LGBT activist community was utterly stunned and bewildered, wondering, how? Why? One finally said why don't we just go ask them, and through door to door knocking to genuinely ask people in good faith why they voted against their rights, they stumbled into a new way to advocate, not by preaching but by listening. Not by telling off the presumed homophobe but by letting them share stories while they shared stories also, and in the process they found voters making epiphanies on their own and found just by getting enough people to choose on their own to slow down and self reflect through empathic *human-to-human* connections you can change enough minds to swing elections, even if all you have is time for a 15-20 minute front porch talk in each engagement. There's a little more to it than that, def. listen to that pod if it sounds remotely interesting though I can't recommend it enough.
idk why but i’ve been crying my eyes out because of dysphoria, and this comment made my day a lot better. thank you for being so kind :) have a beautiful day
@@PhoenixAnimations I'm extremely excited. My friends are supportive. My boss is too. She asked a couple questions today. I know that they're trying, and that is so great, but sometimes it seems like they're condescending. I know they probably don't mean it, but it's still there, and they're my friends... other people... It's gonna be a hard journey, isn't it?
@Christian Bird Difficult? yeah... worth it? Definitely. That’s great to hear you have some support in day to day life along the way though :) supportive friends/family can make a huge difference
@Christian Bird why thank you! I try my best haha. I really appreciate the kind words and for supporting my channel :) I hope you have an awesome rest of your day/night!
same here :) I hope it goes alright for you, take the time that you need to tell them, it's not a easy step. just remember you're never alone and that random stranger in youtube's comments section is currently in the same situation as you are and thousands of other random strangers all around the globe are too. we're never alone and we will fight for each other and that's what matter. have a great day and a great life
As a 62 year old transgender woman who is halfway through her transition I am moved to say you really nailed the experience. Your video brought tears to my eyes because I empathised with everything you said. Thank You. Cisgender people really and truly have no idea of the battles we face every day. We will never be cisgender but making it through transition requires a strength and a resilience that is rare. That makes all transgender people kind of special.
At least that you can safely pass the pass check that you look like a women not just physically but also from how you speak, walk, style, and etc etc. and still self-aware that you can't be a biological women. After all, gender and sex are different thing, and all of us just want that lil bit of happiness in our life in this cruel world.
Atleast all the trans people who made it that far. Unfortunately we don't hear much from the rest, I hope to see a time where we do and where they thrive.
"you will never be cisgender" this is what gets me most often. I'll never have had a boy's childhood. I'll never know what it's like to be born and raised a boy. I'll be a boy sure and just because I'm different doesn't mean I'm not valid but honestly the feeling of loss for a life I never got to live hurts me so much and my parents, although mostly accepting, have a really hard time understanding this because I (for the most part) had an okay childhood and had good friends and memories I wouldn't have had if I were a cis boy. But even so, I hate myself for that. I know trans men are valid but I always have this feeling that I'm inferior and will never feel okay with myself. And the fact that this is probably true sucks. I'm 7 months on T and my dysphoria is still bad. I have a feeling it will continue to be soul crushing for as long as I have a chest. Every night I think about why the fuck it's even worth trying if I'll never be okay in this body because it'll never be perfect. But then I see trans men older than me who have been through this and are better now and then I see my boyfriend who sees all of me as a man and my parents who still love me and little brother (12yo) who is absolutely stoked that I'm trans because according to him: "Some people say they want a sister or brother but I got to have both in one person!!" and is super happy to have a big brother now. And I have to remind myself that it's going to be okay eventhough everything inside me is constantly screaming about how utterly wrong everything feels all the time. But I gotta fight this for my future self and for my loved ones. Edit: Update. I’m now 26 months on T and 10 months post top surgery. Things are so much better now. I came back to this because of a bunch of new people finding my comment and I want y’all who are going through the same thing to know it does get better. Not gonna lie I still mourn the childhood I never got and most of what I said here is still how I feel, but it is SO much easier to deal with now. It’s not perfect and it never will be, and that sucks ass. But it’s at least okay now. And the further along I get in this, the less and less I hate myself and the more often I get days without any dysphoria at all. I don’t think it’ll ever go away fully, but I’m at a point now where I’m actually… kinda okay with that. I still have bad days/nights, but things just feel better. I know how hard it is. And I know everyone who says this sounds like they’re bullshitting you, but * things WILL be okay. And by every deity out there, it is absolutely worth it to stick it out through the very worst parts. *
Stay strong! it'll all be worth it in the end! you might not have been able to experience prior things, but from now on its on you, like they say, its not about becoming cis, but about becoming yourself, i wish you the best of luck on your journey! ^ ^
A key thing to remember is that, you don't actually know what it feels like to be male, so what you feel like you want to be may be what you think being male is like, but you actually have no way of knowing that, so being overly fixated with it isn't helpful. People have a tendency to feel that the grass is always greener on the other side but unless you are actually there you can't ever really comprehend all of the components and moving parts so basing life decisions on such an incomplete understanding and guesstimates is not advisable.
You may not have gotten to be a boy, but you will get to be a man! That's something to look forward too, right? It also might help to look into inner child work - when parts of us aren't nurtured, they stay young inside us, but you can caretake your inner child who didn't get those important boy experiences. You should also really look into your feelings of being inferior, because changing your body won't make that go away. Once your chest is gone, it''ll be your muscles or your height or the money you make and it's endless (something I learned having an eating disorder -- when I reached my dream weight I found out it wasn't about the weight. That was more devasting than the disorder itself). Learn to feel adequate as the person you've made yourself into; that's the only way it will end. I believe in you. You've got this!
All I want bro is to pass and be stealth for the rest of my life. Nobody else needs to know the other side of the story, unless if they’re close friends and family.
being conscious not being part of visible or invisible minorities i guess. Thanks for your braveness too, and taking time to explain what you live. @@Rolando_Cueva
The small detail point has never been clearer to me than when my mtf friend told me she was jealous of me for having a period. I was so confused, I thought "who the hell would want this? I have pmdd, menstruation is miserable for me". But I understand now that it's not really about the experience of it, it's that trans people don't get to have the experiences of cis people.
Yeah! The jealousy runs both physically as in terms of biological things such as periods to mentally too - being jealous that cis people don’t have to be in a constant battle of mind vs body restricted by society and if they can even come out to be themselves in the first place. Also socially. It can be frustrating that cis people don’t have to worry about day to day stuff like being threatened or worse. I definitely have moments of jealousy to cis people and that privilege. Also periods suck haha.
@@PhoenixAnimations To be privileged is to be outside the norm and benefiting from it. Cis people are literraly the norm, they can't be privileged because of it. For them to be privileged you would have to be the norm and they would have to benefit from it. Someone who would be ill can't say that healthy people are privileged, because to be healty is what was intended, you can't make grief to the healty for it, yes it suck to be ill, but being healty is not a privilege. They are 3 kind of people, the one who are in the norm and those who are outside the norm, and from this they are ones who benefit from being outside the norm and those who don't. You just don't, but make no mistake on who are the privileged ones.
Lestrate guerre I don’t think that’s what they meant. I think it means straight/cis people have the benefit of being themselves, and not having to deal with society telling them it’s wrong or a constant battle with their mind and body. I’m pretty sure that was the point. No one would kill someone for being cis or straight, but would do it to someone the opposite in a heart beat. Which makes people who are lgbtq+ feel like straight/cis people have a privilege. Or atleast an advantage over them in society, which they definitely do.
Loveon Letang The same as women having a significant advantage over men in North American society and Christians having an advantage over Pagans. Homosexuality is a much needed balance in nature to help with population issues as is transgenderism. It’s societal beliefs that came from Abrahamic religions that stigmatized it.
@@comichb that's wrong and already debunked blogs.scientificamerican.com/sa-visual/visualizing-sex-as-a-spectrum/ Btw trans women and Swyer syndrome women (XY chromosomes, no gametes and no ovaries) are in the same biological sex spectrum and trans men and Chapelle syndrome men (XX chromosomes, no testes and no sperm) are in the same biological sex spectrum too
@@loreytrafi9613 Because you'll never know what it would be like to grow up comfortable in your own body, cis people are treated as the gender they identify since they were little kids, and while you can transition later on there will always exists people who will hate you for existing
One thing that upsets me is the fact that I never got to be a horny, stupid, silly, teenage boy. It sounds stupid, but as a girl such behaviour simply wasn’t expected. I have a brother, and he used to hang out with his friends and they always seemed so silly doing ridiculous and stupid yet fun stuff, but it made me sad knowing that if I behaved like that I’d be called weird... Looking back, I just want to say; live your teenage years the way you want to live :)
Maybe you didn't have the right friends to be horny and stupid with. I was like that with a bunch of my gal pals. Who cares if you're called weird? Oh wait, teenagers shit. That's when other people's opinions sky rocket exponentially because of puberty and being overly aware of other humans. Still that's why teenagers are in dire need of counselling.
Not every dudes teenage years were the same. Me personally I was never as much a horndog as some of my peers were. It's a good habit to try and not generalise you know. Anyway be well m8
When I realized I was trans, I immediately asked for a haircut and new clothes. Only to realise I was still going through the same struggles. I was in the same body; not comfortable in my own skin. I'm still waiting for a binder, but for now a sports bra has been working. I'm super scared to do a top surgey, but I really would like to get rid of my female chest. I would like to be on testosterone too. I'm not sure about bottom surgery. I just wish I was *born* a guy. I keep crying lately because I wasn't.
hair cut for other people to know "this is man" or "i like it when my hair is really short" when I see people freak out about their hair, it makes it hard to take someone serious. then again I don't have a hair identity. it's fine, and I'm lazy so I can't do much. I get a hair cut and it's "i don't know, make it so I can see, um layers? can you cut it diagonally? I guess make it fun?". I know I don't want an army style buzzcut. I don't want pigtails. a pony tail is nessessity. long hair is a chore and in winter I get massive knots. sometimes I'm not sure who I even really am, or "what I am". but that's the bipolar talking. so a "ahhh my hair, I need new hair style" just looks like 'really? you are going to die over a pixe cut?" looks absurd
hey man i relate to this from a past perspective, i’m 3 months on T and things are so much better now then there were when i was a preteen and younger teen. I don’t want to lie to you and say that things will be easy but they will certainly get better and stuff starts to make sense eventually.
listen, you were born with a female body. That all there is to it. I'm not sure what you think it means "spiritually" or whatever, but it means nothing. Ask yourself what you imagine would be different if you could actually switch to a male body. Would you feel safer? more respected? Accepted as equal by males in your life? Imagine the scenario and make a list of what's different. Sexism exists, homophobia exists. Women have to deal with that our whole lives.
@@kaiyodei For me, I didn't freak out about my hair, but it was a source of anxiety (and still is, as I try to figure out what I really want to do with it). My first discomfort around my hair was more of a realization that I had always gotten the blandest haircut possible. In fact, I did a _lot_ of things that helped me not be perceived, probably because I couldn't stand to look at myself in a mirror. Now, I'm understanding that I don't have to suppress myself to fit some invented mold. That's years (decades!) of repressed energy waiting to burst out. And I really only understood that pressure after some months, as the worry began to pile up and take its toll, so I can hardly blame anyone for not getting it at first! I'm lucky enough to have a supportive family and friends, and the independence of being an adult, but it must be so much harder for a teen whose family isn't supportive. Because you're right, a haircut shouldn't mean that much: so why should anyone's parent's get so upset about their kid expressing themselves in such a harmless way? The worst that could happen is that you wait for the hair to grow back out, right? It becomes very quickly apparent to the kid that their parents are trying to control and suppress rather than love and nurture, even if they don't have the wisdom to put it in those words. To add insult to injury, many of these parents claim to love their kids, but the hair is the evidence that they aren't even willing to see their kids for who they are. tl; dr To be in pain is to have certainty. To hear of another's pain is to have doubts.
i'm MtF and sometimes it hurts. i cry knowing i'll never experience a childhood as a teen girl, and how it was wasted being a lonely, suicidal, disguting boy. i cry knowing i'll never experience dating the same way a girl does. i cry knowing i may never pass. i cry knowing i'll never have full control of my voice in the way ciswomen can, such as Amy Lee's dark resonance. i cry knowing that i'll never escape the hellhole that is being man. i'm forever cursed with it.
@@Herowebcomics You've been replying to almost every comment on this video, have you ever considered that nobody gives a shit about what you have to say on this situation? You have nothing to offer anyone here. Save your breath or stop breathing entirely, please.
@@Herowebcomics The truth is that you're a sad, pathetic man who, despite drawing comics for years still makes garbage. Prehapse if you spent your time learning to draw instead of inserting your bigotry into peoples lives you might grow creatively. Nobody should be taking life advice from you as you know nothing about them and their situation and nothing you have to say will change their minds. Kindly go back to your shitty comics and leave them alone.
@@Herowebcomics Pehapse you should follow your lord's example and get yourself nailled to a cross. You dont HAVE to do this, you just want to make people conform to your bullshit. Leave them alone, nobody here is going to take the opinion of an annoying dipshit who spends his time interfering with other people's lives. Find a new hobby, because neither persuasion nor drawing are your forte.
I really want to know the struggles of another trans person. Unfortunately I’m not old enough to medically transition yet, so I want to know what it was like for you. I hope it wasn’t to bad.
Maybe one day I’ll go over my full transition. I was very privileged to have mostly supportive family though. This video is specifically on the internal struggles I had when first coming out. I hope it helps in one way or another... best of luck in your journey though. Stay safe and stay you.
It's always bad, but it's the journey that makes you who you are. You are basically setting your life to hard mode and that can never change but it does get easier with the help of friends and family. I highly recommend having either friends and or family with you At all times if you go out in public. Be safe and love yourself 💜
@@Herowebcomics Do you have any idea what its like to be trans? To feel like an alien inside your own body? To spend every minute of your day lamenting, wishing you were born a girl/guy? Transitioning can be daunting. It can be tough. The bigotry and fear due to transphobes is one of the main reasons many trans people take their own lives, and you aren't helping by telling trans they shouldn't transition.
@@Herowebcomics stfu. theyre not who they are now. if they want to transition, then they will. they'll probably be much more comfortable with their own body. it's their life, not yours.
I had a similar experience today. I was reading through consent forms for an hrt prescription so I would be aware of the health risks associated with it. The process was going fine until I reached one of the last sections of the paper: "I am aware that transitioning may lead to my relationships with family and friends my change, become more distant, or even severed." It was right then that I realized that if I wanted to be who I am, that there are going to be people who I might have to burn bridges with, who won't like me and will think less of me. That it was such a real possibility that a hospital saw this and thought it was important enough to include alongside "increased risk of heart attack" and "complications with the liver". It's not like I haven't experienced transphobia before, I've been out for over 3 years now; but it's still depressing to here that people will hate me for being trans
Exactly! Which is why it’s so frustrating when people think transitioning is a choice. Like no. Why would we choose to be bullied, kicked out, threatened, and worse
I remember trying to avoid the idea that I might be trans cause I wanted my mom to still love me. after I figured it out I fully realized that I'm probably not going to be able to talk to my mother after coming out. it's hard but after a year I've kinda accepted it I guess, cause I dont have any other choice. I still get the occasional twinge of sadness knowing that I have limited time to be around my family.
@@PhoenixAnimations Christians were bullied, kicked out, threatened, and worse in ancient Roman empire. It was still their choice to be Christians and they knew fully well the persecution they would face. The fact that you will encounter adversity after a choice doesn't mean it wasn't a choice. It was a choice with consequences, harsh ones for the matter, but a choice nonetheless.
Hate - without base or reason - is the most *stupidest* thing to ever disgrace Mother Earth. ‘Stiff upper lip’ as I’ve been told, helps to numb the pain, but not ignore it.
Lestrate guerre why are you comparing gender with religion? I can sort of(?) see what you mean, if I squint, but at the same time you worded your comment in a way that makes it seem like you’re saying transgender people can just choose not to be trans. thats just not how that works. That’s like, saying a bird can just stop being a bird whenever it wants. probably not the best comparison, but still. Choosing to Transition is a choice, yes, but no one chooses to be picked on or bullied or punished or shunned for being who they are, or doing what they need to do to feel like themselves.
I'm revisiting this and got an ad for "what is a woman." There's a spike in transphobia going on right now. It feels like everyone is against us. I just want to be okay.
It's so sad to see that a year later it's gotten oh so much worse. I hope that it does get better, but it's gonna get worse before it gets better. All we can do is keep fighting the hatred and bigotry with love.
@@skylartek for a little bit of hope, there was a significant increase in racist legislature put in place right up until the civil rights act of 1964, and history does tend to repeat itself
I'm a trans guy. I've considered myself "fully transitioned" since June 12th, 2019. This came up in my recommended, I didn't think I'd get anything from it. Wow. I was wrong. Thank you. I needed to watch this and see other people actually experience this kind of stuff. I thought after I checked all the boxes I wanted to and declared my transition complete, life would become easier. It's much better than before I started all this in 2015, of course! But like you said... I'm not cis. I will never be cis. The question of, "Should I go stealth, or continue to live openly?" is always bouncing around in my mind. Even if I went stealth, it wouldn't make me cis. I'd still be trans, it'd still be hard. It's a journey. It's a ride. It's fun, it's hell... it's worth it. 💙
Hey there! So sorry for the late reply, but I read this and really wanted to reach out. Thank you for the kind words and sharing your experience. I know this sort of topic is something that a lot of trans men think about, but it can be a whole different experience hearing someone else say it out loud. I hope you are doing well since posting this. Stay safe and stay you!
Thank you so much! It's really cool to hear back from you, this was a wonderful video to see after so long. When I commented last year, I was struggling a lot with the decision to go stealth when I transferred colleges this upcoming school year. I'm really happy to say, I'm jumping into the last two years of college at this new school completely out, and living in one of the Gender Inclusive Housing dorms on campus. I've always been loud and proud, but I feel like events in the past year have shown me how important it is to be loud and /happy/. Happy like, completely accepting of myself and this whole situation lol. It's a nice place to be. ❤
I'm MTF. Been transitioning for a while now. At first... I was excited. And, after a time I wasn't anymore. I am, and am not upset, that I will never ever ever be a Ciswoman. I won't have kids. That... hurts. fundamentally. I can't ever have children. Ever. But now? Thinking about it... I'm happy I'm a trans woman. I might not be able to have kids, I might have to take pills, I might have to go through things that ciswomen will never deal with. But in a way, it's a testament to who I am. It shows how far I've come. It makes me realize that, well... I'm a woman at heart, and while many of you may not share my religious views. I think in a way I was made stronger this way, that whenever God picked out the parts to make me, he knew I could handle it. And I can. So yea, any of my fellow Trans folks out there, It's not all bad. It's gonna be tough, always. Your life is always tough. But it isn't bad. In many ways, being harder on you, it's good. It really makes you appreciate the things you do have, when you realize what you don't.
Good job sister! I know that there are lots of things us trans people will never be able to do, but we can still try to find comfort in ourself in any way we can! Stay strong
This honestly made my heart hurt. It's unfair that even that we trans folk go through so much hate and hurt, we will never 100% reach the point we truly want. Thank you for stating the one thing I and many others choose to ignore.
@@Herowebcomics well, I'd rather go through with a transition because I'll be much happier getting as close as I can be rather than unhappy and deppressed with my pshyical body.
@@Herowebcomics because I'm just not a woman? My gender identity is male, not female. I can't do life as a woman because I have gender dysphoria and if I were to try I would be very deppressed.
Every time I question if I'm really trans I come across something like this that makes me cry, like hearing the line about never being cis. It reminds me all over again that I am actually trans, and somehow it's a sting that hits me over and over again, never any gentler. I wish I could be cis- I wish so badly that I could just be cis, and never have to worry about it. Never having to worry about misgendering, aggression, rejection, any of it. And it has never seemed to matter how much effort I put in, no matter how obvious I make my pronoun buttons, no matter how many times I tell people, it's a constant process trying to not be misgendered and trying to be accepted. And then I go online and see people talking about people like me in such a negative light, pretending I can just snap my fingers and be cis, but I never can. Because I never chose this. If I were given the choice, I never would have chosen to be trans.
Well hey, though that hits too close to home, try and remember some wise words I was told, that being that happiness is obtained through acceptance of one's self and one's circumstances, not any amount of peoples exceptance. So if you feel you need something to feel complete, you get it, a better lense to view life is never something you should ever be ashamed of, and know you at least have my support for what its worth, being some random person vibing in Texas. Edit:😀👍
I know. Nobody has chosen where they are put. But they can choose where to start moving to. They can ally with others going in the same direction. You are welcome in my space. And I will see you as you are, not as they say. You are the one who knows who you are and there is no test that will change your soul. There may be tests to help lend insight into how your body works and how best to take steps. But that information isn't the on the public to know, only you and those you trust to help you keep moving twords your goals.
But why then transition? Now you are neither one or the other completely, longing for the experiences you wanted but couldn't have gotten and in an illusion of escape, thus eliminating experiences you could've had.
@@rchaelk2319 that's from a standpoint where any gender would be okay, which isn't the case for them. Some people are stuck with a situation that sucks and a solution that still sucks, but isn't nearly as bad
As a baby trans just starting to transition, this hit hard. Realizing I'm trans at 23 has been equal parts liberating and terrifying. I've never felt as free as I do now, while equally feeling more trapped than ever before. It's a strange place to be... but I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm surrounded by amazing people, cis and trans, who are amazingly supportive and understanding. My husband is determined to stick it out with me, and it opened up the door to rebuild a relationship with a member of my family that I thought I'd lost forever. Some days are hard, some days are amazing, but... I'm finally me, and that's so much better than living a lie.
My 2 cents as a cis male: Trans people and cis people have differences. And that’s ok. When we think about how we treat people in society, we should treat them with the designation that is represented in their heart, considering that trans people have so often been hurt and targeted in every single demographic. Trans and cis people have their differences AND trans and cis people have the dignity inherent from being people. Every person has that dignity and your gender or sexuality, despite giving you different things to deal with, never negates that
Why? Why do you insist on doing that? There's literally no reason not to call people what they want to be called, besides being blatantly disrespectful to them.
You're not telling the truth by calling them what *you* want to call them. It's like a name change. Its not that hard to just respect somebody's preferred pronouns.
@@Herowebcomics Biologically, yes. They are born female/ male. But the thing is, if they want to be addressed as something different, It's not up to you to decide that for them, especially since they had no control over what sex they were born as. Sex is different from gender identity.
@Herowebcomics There’s the disrespect again. You’re addressing somebody by a pronoun they don’t identify with. Wouldn’t you agree that it’s a bit rude to not call people what they want to be called? Even if it is their assigned gender at birth, they still deserve respect like any other human being, which includes respecting their pronouns and what they identify as.
@Herowebcomics are you trans? No. Do you know what it’s like? No. Well neither do I because I’m cis. But who gives a flying fuck on what people do with their bodies as long as they don’t hurt others or themselves? Trans people deserve the respect of being called by their proper pronouns because they are people no different to me or you. I hope that you never meet a trans person irl because you’re the worst kind of person to meet someone who’s gender identity differs from their biological sex. Please try and educate yourself so you can understand how people feel. God, the next thing you’ll tell me is that your homophobic too. Grow up
Sadly transitioning does take a ton of time sometimes. Especially when you’re a minor and restricted by family, finances, and/or government. It’s super frustrating. I hope once you turn 18 things will get a bit easier and you can get the ball rolling on transitioning. Best of luck, you got this!
My pain doesn't come from not being cis, surprisingly. I already had in mind that I would never be it. The pain comes from the prejudice, the risk and all that. I live in Brazil, I mean, so coming out as trans can be a direct death sentence, literally. Some months ago I came out to my parents, and they really didn't take it well, not at all, and that was when I opened my eyes to the fact that being trans means being possibly abandoned by the people who should care, means losing opportunities, facing danger, prejudice and all that. It really sucks, but it's truly living life in the "hard" mode, but I can't change what I am, or how I feel. Transitioning means that I will become a really obvious target to violence and all, at least initially, and it might even be a death sentence as I said, but, at the same time, the more time I spend like I currently am (no transition), the more it hurts, the stronger dysphoria gets, to the point where I can't really live like this. There's truly no good choice, it's either facing a stupidly big risk and possibly having most of my chances ruined and being abandoned by my entire family (literally everyone has prejudice, apart from 1-2 people), or living a life of pain and sadness (if that can at least be called living). All options will lead to a difficult life and a lot of suffering, all because of the simple fact of me being trans, because of the extreme prejudice there is in here. That's the greatest pain to me.
Desculpa por isso :( Aqui no Brasil é complicado mesmo, eu tenho muito medo de qual seria a reação da minha família descobrissem que eu sou enby, seria um escândalo... Isso porque ainda tem o fato de aqui der perigoso pra gente Mas espero que no fim fique tudo bem com todos nós
@@saturnitx2327 Sabe, daquele tempo pra lá eu passei por muita coisa, mas deu tudo muito certo, apesar de ter levado um tanto absurdo esforço e persistência. Hoje em dia eu moro sozinha em outra cidade, em outro estado, mas meus pais me apoiam, tanto emocional quanto financeiramente quando eu preciso (minha mãe decidiu realmente jogar fora o preconceito e verdadeiramente me apoia hoje em dia, é minha melhor amiga atualmente. Já meu pai... Bem, ele tá tentando, já melhorou bastante). Eu consegui passar em uma universidade, também, na USP, pra ciência da computação. Passei 3 anos sacrificando minha vida social e minha saúde mental completamente pra conseguir, mas deu certo, e agora eu tenho uma oportunidade, um futuro, e uma rede de apoio bem ampla. Com o tempo na transição, a gente termina ganhando passabilidade, também, e o preconceito diminui bastante, apesar de que ser mulher é simplesmente bem mais difícil que como homem, mas eu me sinto eu mesma, e não trocaria isso por nada no mundo. Então assim, hoje em dia tô vivendo uma vida simples, porém feliz, e tô realmente satisfeita com o que eu alcancei. Agora eu tenho uma perspectiva de futuro e de vida muito boa, tenho alguns bons amigos, que me respeitam e me aceitam, e tenho segurança (porque comecei a passar como cis, mas eu sei que não é o caso de todo mundo). Muitas vezes é difícil ver algo bom na vida sendo trans, mas se esforçando as coisas dão certo. Ainda tem chance, ainda tem esperança, não é um beco sem saída, nem morte certa, ainda bem. Continua forte, que vai ficar tudo bem.
I'll probably never will understand trans and lgbtq people that are not the normal lesbian or gay. And everytime I try to understand, to find Videos explaining this experience, or asking directly through Forums or comment sections like this. I get more confused or directly shut down by offended or unexplainatory comments. But your story, that you do not fear of not knowing who you are, but because of the danger that may lie when speaking the truth resonated with me. Maybe I'll never understand, but atleast I can find people's experiences and try to feel them.
@@rchaelk2319 @rchaelk2319 I don't think anyone truly knows who they are completely and without a doubt, and we shouldn't be scared because of that. Questioning is part of growing, I mean, and hey, I appreciate you asking stuff, even if it's difficult to understand. Life as trans is definitely one of the most unconventional experiences out there lol, it's not easy to understand if you don't live it. We, too, also question ourselves all the time, just like cis people do, and we all arrive at different answers, decisions, and even different questions as a whole. Because of that, every situation is different, every trans person is different, and the only thing set in stone is respect. I'll never really understand people who get offended by questions and by others trying to learn, and I'm sorry you've had to go through that. That being said, though, I think I can offer some enlightenment on why this happens so much in the trans community. You see, being trans means you're legitimately... Scared. All the time, in most interactions and places (some which you simply can't frequent, it's too horrifying), because attacks to our choices and questions and identities are just that common. We are simply scared to live. We're scared of being ourselves and finding ourselves and asking our questions, and speaking our truth. Therefore, sometimes when people ask us about our way of life, our brain is kinda automatically wired to enter defense mode, you know? We already assume it's gonna be an attack, and thus we react accordingly, even if it's just someone trying to learn. That or sometimes we ourselves are just confused, too, I mean, for to be trans is to question yourself and society and what truth even means, it's breaking a lot of paradigms, and society doesn't really like that, does it? Sometimes it's society that is scared of questions. I guess in the end maybe everyone is just so confused and afraid of trying to find themselves, and questions are scary indeed. Life is a strange thing lol Anyway, what I mean is it is indeed confusing, and we are all scared and kinda lost. Not knowing who we are is an experience we all go through, it's just that we trans people are most often scared of trying to find that out, of being ourselves. There are a lot of arguments even among us, because the views of everyone are different, each one's questions and truths and identities are different. We're simply scared to question, to be ourselves, to live. In the end all that matters is respect. I hope this was helpful :>
The struggle of being non-binary is that there's no real hard goal. There's nothing to transition to, no statue of what an internationally recognised enby looks like, and though it's unbearably tough for trans men and trans women, at least people all agree that men and women exist. Enbies can't even guarantee that. There's no passing for me, until there's no longer a need to pass for any of us, and that's what I want to fight towards.
as a genderfluid person, this comment rlly said everything i could never articulate, thx :), for me there is no end goal as well, it’s impossibly difficult to think about hormones and surgery, because i may regret it, my mind is in a constant state of change, there is no genderfluid sex to take the blueprints from, i will never pass 100% of the time, and i don’t feel i need to anymore i just want it so the new generation doesnt have to feel confined to a representation of a sex or to passing, its horrible and takes away something that is yourself and only yourself
This! It's so hard to be enby sometimes, because unlike binary trans people, there's no default to look up to, you're like a custom character where you have to do every little detail yourself,there's no true genderlessness because everything is so gendered... I wish gender would be an option, rather than a default
@@moonbunnygw8342 i agree! i'm non binary too, and it's so hard to at least look gender neutral, because everything is SO gendered, and even when i try to look like neither it doesn't really work. all i can do is try to look androgynous, but the thing is, i don't feel like a mix of both. i don't want to be a mix of both or look like it. i'm outside of the scale, not in the middle of it. and you can't really achieve that. as you said - there is no default to look up to at all and i just have to figure out myself what people would think when they would first look at me. and most of the time they just assume instead of asking, and of course they don't even see "neither" as an option, so i constantly get misgendered. i agree, i wish gender wouldn't be a default. it makes everything so much harder for many people and at this point it's insane - even colors are gendered. so i hesitate before picking a pink hoodie from my closet, because let's say that day i have pe and cant have my binder on. "what if someone's gonna think i'm a girl?" i face this type of question all the time and i never know what to do about it. being an enby sucks. and obviously, you're never gonna be cis either.
Trans girl here, I needed this. when I first came out I expected to look like a normal girl a few months after telling my mum. Two years later, I was supposed to be starting HRT, but my appointment was postponed. I’m almost 16 and my appointment still hasn’t happened, and I’m too shy to ask my parents when it’s happening. It feels like time is against me and wants to permanently change my body in ways that will cause lifelong pain. I get more and more desperate each day, I feel like I’m growing into a self loathing monster beyond repair. I too, will never be cis. And my life can’t and won’t be the same as the cis people around me. But every little detail; a shopkeeper calling me ma’am from behind, or relating to a cis woman I know, is a speck of hope that one day I’ll grow into a woman I can accept.
Dear 16 year old sister of mine. It will be okay. I started at the ripe age of 24. I’m 26 now and society “gets” it. So do my friends and loved ones. I’m not “othered” anymore. Have faith in your body. It’s okay to have problems with it. I’ll have problems with mine for the rest of my life. Bones are bones after all for the most part. It doesn’t mean you can’t take care of it and love the only one you get all the same as you grow into the person you want to become! Have faith in the ones you love and the one’s that truly love who you are. You’ll need them at some point or another and they need you. Don’t lose faith in the world. Most people are good. Ignorant to some degree. But good. Ignorance is just not knowing though and should be met with as much patience as we can muster. Keep shining!
I am not trans but it was very enlightening to watch this video. It's important that cis people learn more about trans lives and know ways they can help. Thank you for making this animation. And whoever is reading this comment, it's going to be okay ☺️💕
@@0x6a09 Just when talking to people that are phobic to certain genders, or sexualities is just 2 things. Be a decent human bring, and put yourself in their shoes.
I'm cis but this was on my recommended and you know what? I clicked this video. I clicked it because I want to know what most people in this comment section feel like. Maybe one day, I'll meet someone who isn't cis or maybe a relative or friends tells me. It's on that day, I'll be able to make them feel a little bit better by being there for them and understanding when a tiny bit of what they're going through. I think more people need to be open to learn about things that, although they cannot relate to, help them understand those who relate to those topics.
I wish there were more cis people as open as you. Thank you for not only watching the video, but especially for listening. Anyone can watch a video, but it’s clear when someone tries to listen and better understand. I hope you have a great day/night! Thanks again :)
the same should say for people to know what it's like to have serious physical and mental health problems. wow I wonder what my life would of been or could be like if I'm not bipolar. or what it would of been like growing up without behavioral issues and learning disabilities.
this is also why I clicked on this videos... as a cis person I'll never truly understand what trans people go through but atleast if I can support someone in any way, I'll try my best
Thank you. I'm a cis female and I've always struggled to understand the struggles that transgender people go through after the transition. Not that i have to understand but i like to get an idea as to how others feel. I've had trans friends come over and just cry bc of things that sound small but I'd be there. I have a friend who wishes she could get pregnant but because she's trans she can't so we joke around saying "kids are expensive anyway" and that usually makes her laugh but in the back of my mind I think "why would she want to go through the pain required to have that child like menstruation cycles, the potentially for a miscarriage and further bodily charges?" But I never ask bc I'm scared I may offend her. As a woman who's never questioned my gender, I almost feel like I'm her guide into womanhood bc she asks me so much but I really don't know what to tell her. I do my best to just have her experience what it's like to be one of the girls but when she comes to me I feel like she's primarily asking if it's ok. If it's ok to do or be "like this". Almost as if she's asking for female validation from me. Idk how to explain it but this vid helped me understand why shes so conscious about herself and why she compares herself to other women so hard. I will always be there for her and I love her with everything I have.
Hi Dawn! Wow, I am so impressed! What a great friend you are! She is beyond lucky to have you in her life! I too am mtF, and would have loved to have a friend like you! You are indeed her guide! Something I sorely wish I had years ago. Trans people miss so much in life growing up, it's almost impossible to "catch up", all the little (& big) things we never got to experience, this can leave us feeling very unsure of our selves. We can be pretty sensitive to things, especially in the early year's of transition, but believe me, having someone like you to talk to and be safe with means the world to her! Please don't ever think or feel scared that you might offend her, she might cry or be sad around subjects like in this video, but your understanding and friendship far.. Far... FAR!!! Surpasses any possibility of offense - in fact speaking for my self I could Never be offended by such a lovely friend. Yes I am sure she looks to you for some validation... We didn't have parents / siblings/school/friends/boyfriends/dances etc.that helped validate us as girl's growing up. In fact just the opposite is usually true and this leaves an enormous hole in our psyche. As in the video, being trans is very hard some days, and will be a life long issue, but with great friends like you, life can be wonderful, fulfilling, and full of love! (Its great to be a 👧 girl!) God bless you Dawn! Love Suzy!
I’m a trans man and hearing the line “you will never be cis” made me start sobbing. I’m only in middle school and I already hate being alive so much. All I want is to be cis. I don’t want to have to prove to people that I’m a man, I want to go through puberty as a man, I want to have the body type of a man, but I don’t. I don’t have a therapist right now so I don’t have anyone to talk to about my dysphoria. If I talk to my dad about it he just says that I need to be patient and if I talk to my mom she either tells me that now’s not the time to talk about it or yells at me because she thinks I’m getting it from the internet. Honestly I sometimes wish I was just getting it from the internet so I could just decide to be a cis girl. But I can’t. And it hurts so much. I just want to be normal. Sorry for ranting I just REALLY needed to get that out of my system.
Dont worry man, even though this was 1 year ago I still want you to know that you can do it! I believe in you and to try and think positive. I know its hard to deal with but I can relate to you on so many levels, just stay strong. You got this. 😄💗💗
Oh my gosh, I feel this on a different level! You have my full support because I’m trans. There is indirect bullying towards trans and gay people at my school. It makes me so mad that it makes my parents think I’m getting bullied when I’m just hearing stuff towards people like me. I already had to defend my bisexual friend today, he gets bullied a lot. I’m still fighting for a gender neutral bathroom in our school. And these kids are brutal. I’m here if you ever want to talk.
I know this comment took place a year ago, but I just felt like I needed to say this. I hope things are looking up for you now, and if they’re not that’s ok. Change takes time. Just know that as long as you are being true to yourself and you are ok with who you are, you can endure and you can thrive. This journey will be tough, but stand strong. You can do it :)
I am so sorry to here that brother. I am a trans woman in high school, and I understand your pain. We are all in this together as siblings, and it may be hard, but hang in there. 🏳️⚧️❤️
I just got outed to my dad today and i really needed this video, i kept thinking about how i wish i could just be cis and how much this sucks but this video really helped.
Oof... that SUCKS. Like dang. I hope you’re doing alright now. Just take things easy and stay as safe as possible. I’m glad the video helped too. And try to remember that things will get better with time
Herowebcomics What proof do you have for those absurd claims. I have talk to an actual medical professional to get help with my dysphoria. And being transgender is not a lifestyle. It's not a choice in the first place. Dysphoria is an actual medical condition. None of it is a choice. if it was a choice, none of us would be dysphoric. Dysphoria is horrible, and millions of people deal with it on the daily. Myself included. Now please, do real research. And think about what you say before you type instead of being mindless about it.
Herowebcomics Please, leave religion out of this. And being transgender, non-binary, and having dysphoria, it's not a fear of others. But religion has no say in this. You unnecessarily dragged into it. And yes I have seen medical professionals. Dr. Heidi Rhodes to be specific. No stop brainlessly typing on the Internet trying to prove a point which is obviously wrong. Do your own legitimate research. And religion and anything associated with it does not count as research. And if you don't believe in transgender and non-binary people existing, leave us alone.
Herowebcomics OK we are now just going in circles. Nothing about being transgender is a choice. We don't choose to have a disassociation with our biological sex. I'm done arguing with someone that is refusing facts. Millions of people are transgender and non-binary. I'm giving you a link to a website that explains what transgender is and what it all means. Read it if you want. Remember all the information I have displayed to you in this slew of comments, is coming from someone underneath the transgender umbrella. And from someone that has seen multiple medical professionals. Now please, stop mindlessly arguing on the Internet to prove some impossible point. And maybe spend time with family or friends. www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/transgender
My little brother is transgender, as the last cisgender son of the family I've always wanted to have a lil bro. Me and my family completely accept him and we're trying to help him with the procedures he needs too feel comfortable with his body.
@@valeria.cristal.franco there are freaks that assume kids can be trans and put them in hormone theraphy. A kid doesn't know their gender for sure, not until they're done with adolescence where their gender and hormones finish developing. Same reason why a kid can't vote; they aren't old enough to be certain that they think isn't something they were taught by their parent's political opinions, instead of it being their own decision. The same goes for gender identity. You can't be a hundred percent sure that kid isn't just influenced from some online platform or just wants to try wearing a dress when they're a boy. An adult can choose, but a kid? No.
I’m transmasc as well, and I look so feminine and being perceived as a female all the time by family, friends, and teachers hurts alot. even though nearly all my friends are also trans/non-binary and they know my preferred name and pronouns, it really hurts knowing I won’t be a cis-man. To all the trans people out there, I hope you keep moving forward and stay positive. Good luck all my transgender friends ❤️
Yeah I remember these types of talks. It takes a lot longer than you want it to. What you need to learn is patience. It was so hard. Getting constantly told that it doesn't happen overnight got me pissed but I had to learn to accept it. This is the hard reality. I'm a few months on T and have had top surgery, im thankful for my journey and the ability to say ive gone through these struggles. It makes me the person who I am today, and I wouldn't change the experience for the world.
This is a difficult and important reality to realize and the fact that you've taken the time to attempt to explain this means more than anything. This is something people should talk about more. Recently, a great friend of mine who was in the middle of transitioning with HRT left this world by her own choice because of how difficult it is to go through with something like that. She thought it was all too much and that she'd rather be at peace in death than in life. Each and every one of you should know that this feeling is able to be beaten and you should face it with strength and conviction rather than resignation. Know that you're gonna feel better than you do now if you put in the devotion to being you rather than an image of yourself you prefer. Know that it is more worth it to work to a better end than to give up. Know that you are supported and loved. Know that you are allowed to feel. And please, PLEASE know that you are able to talk about it.
Thank you so much for sharing about your friend. I know others out there who feel like they can't or shouldn't talk about/express how they're feeling. To the extent that it becomes too much. I hope you too are doing okay and staying safe.
@@PhoenixAnimations Thanks, and same to you. I and all of her friends and family are part of a huge, wonderful community of artists and creators and have been helping each other to remember her fondly.
My nephew recently came out as trans and chose the name "Phoenix" - not really relevant but this was a really sweet animation and I hope he watches it. Good life advice in general to be fair.
My friend started transitioning recently, its gonna be hard for him because there will be a lot of complications with school and where hes staying and all of that so this helps me see kinda what hes going through and what he has to go through in the future too without me fearing that i may offend him or hurt him by asking
I'm a trans woman, and I can't even get to an in person therapist because of where I live. I know how hard this whole thing will be. Despite that, it always hurts to know that I will never be cis. That I can never have these things that people find so trivial. That I can never be who I truly wish I could be. It feels like hell sometimes and I have had full breakdowns where I wouldn't even get out of bed for days because I felt so dysphoric. I just sometimes wish that wasn't my reality, but it is. I accept that. I can only try to make it a little better with time.
"You will never be cisgender" ... I was not ready for that, and I wish I was born a cisgender girl every day. I think that... hearing it from you made it all the more real.
i’m out to my mum and most close friends but i’m slowly mustering up the courage to come out to the rest of my family so I can hopefully start medically transitioning and socially transition some more. I really hope that this goes well and I can see a therapist to help figure out what I really want going ahead.
It's just because they hate us, hate is brought from love, when you are thought by someone you love to hate a minority group, you will and most likely you'll hate that group for the rest of your life. You'll refuse to show any kindness to a person who has never wronged you. That's how transphobes origin and is why we're in the situation we are.
This is exactly what I'm struggling with right now, and it's just so hard especially when no one really supports me. Most days, I just can't see a reason to keep living, and I feel like nobody cares.
Hey there. I hope you’re doing a bit better since you commented. I’ve found that the online community can actually be a very supportive space (if you find the right group of course). Even on this channel there has been a great group of followers who are super amazing and supportive. Please just remember you are not alone. Stay safe
@@PhoenixAnimations it makes me feel better just to be noticed at all. My parents like to pretend that none of this is happening, so it's really nice to have people in the world that talk about this sort of thing. It makes me remember that in the future, there will be people that will support me, and your videos are just really helpful to me. So I guess thanks for that.
@Raegan òwó yeah of course. I’m glad to help out in any way possible. Plenty more videos to come too, so I hope to see and talk to you on those videos for updates on how you’re doing as well.
Hang in there, it will get better. When I first came out, nobody supported me either. Just remember there are solutions out there, and every day you make it through, you are one day closer to them. Eventually I found community that accepted me, my insurance covered most of my transition, and that was from 2006-2010. Today more insurance policies then ever are covering trans related care. Start with a good therapist. They can help in way more ways than you’d expect. What does Cis have that’s so great anyway? Trans people get to see the world from a viewpoint most never will. We see both sides of society, and can call them all out on their bullshit. We just gotta stick together, we’ll get there.
Herowebcomics Fuck you with a god damn cactus! You are disgusting saying this to someone struggling with this. Don’t listen to this asshole. There are always going to be horrible people in the world. You can rise above them.
Exactly!! That’s what I was thinking years ago when my therapist said that to me. It’s weird how hearing someone else say it makes it feel more... real
@@PhoenixAnimations yeah it feels more real to know someone else felt that way as well lol I secretly feel like if I try hard enough I'll be a cis dude
"You will never be cis gender" Me at 44, first realizing it: "Oh f*ck…". My therapist said those words to me too and I had no clue how to process it at first. Me, starting transition as I near 50, after 5 years of processing and slowly reaching acceptance (while labelling myself as genderqueer or non-binary as I sorted myself out): "Sounds good as long as I never have to pretend to be a cisgender man again…. That’s just pure misery. Haters can just kiss my Amazonian build trans butch *ss. After a half century of faking being cis, I am exhausted and all outta f*cks to give. Sure, being born a cis woman would have been better in theory but I don’t think I would be me anymore either…. Me includes being trans." I think the idea of never being cis hits differently at different ages. As an older trans person, worn out by trying to be cis, I already knew at a very visceral level that I would never be a cis woman but the relief at no longer trying to be a cis man was incredible. My life has never been weirder, true, but it’s also never been happier.
I've spent so many nights dreaming about those one-time transition pills. I've spent so many nights coming to peace with all the drawbacks of never being cis. And yet the pain is deeper than any physical pain could ever be. It casts an overwhelming shadow on the perspective of post transition life, which should be the ultimate paradise. And the worst part is that there isn't even anyone to blame. You just happened to come out wrong. No refunds.
im a trans dude and am at the beginning of my transition. i definitely needed to see this video. i spend a lot of time ignoring the fact that im trans and even keep it from my good friends online, partially from not wanting to talk about it because most of the time it turns into a conversation i dont want to have, and partially because of internalized transphobia from my childhood. hearing what this video had to say hit hard and i cant lie about that, but its something i needed to hear. i need to come to terms with the fact that im never going to be cisgender. i shouldnt be hiding being trans. i should stand proud and see it in myself that im just another human who wants to live the way he wants to, and i shouldnt be hiding my real self just because im "different". thank you for the video.
I identify as a trans male but I still can’t come out because of family issues. I hope I can at some point. I’m 18 and have felt this way for at least 7 years. Your videos give me hope that someday I can transition and feel better about who I am. This video was heavy but I needed to hear it, just like you needed to hear those words from your therapist all those years ago.
Ah so sorry I'm getting to this comment so late, but now I am very curious if you ever did end up coming out to your family and how it went? I'm sure a lot has happened since a year ago, so I hope you are doing well and staying safe since posting this. Your kind words still make me smile to this day knowing how helpful this video was for you back then :)
How the heck did you make me feel so many emotions in such a short space of time Not being cis hurts and I think its gonna take till the end of my transition to actually accept that I'll never be cis and to be grateful I'm trans atm however it's hard I'm starting e this month however so I hope I can feel comfortable to be proud soon
Ay that’s great you’re starting E! Congratulations! Thanks for watching. I know it’s a really hard concept to accept, but I appreciate you sharing and the kind words. Congrats again and have a great day/night
I just think understanding is such a big help. That’s honestly why I’m on this channel. Your stories are really inspiring but most of all it help me understand what trans people go through. Understanding is such a important part of our society so every day I try to learn a little more, as to not judge a person without understanding their struggles
Aww thank you so much for watching and supporting my channel. I wish there were more people like you who took the time to learn and try to understand :) but especially I thank you for listening and hearing us. Hope you have a wonderful day/night!
I think everyone, even cis people, should think hard about their own gender and really consider if it's right for them. Experiencing gender with intent means to have a greater understanding of yourself, as well as others.
I know this comment is from 2 years ago, but supposed you were cis but had the same characteristics than you did before transition due to being intersex or similar, would you have felt equally Dysphoric about them? Or would the idea ‘I have breasts and/or will never experience things most guy do, but at least I am cis’ actually helps make you feel less Dysphoric about them?
This showed me a completely different perspective. I myself am a cis woman, but as a pan i belong to the LGBT and also have many trans friends. However never have i ever acknowledged, how we cis people don't realize what we have as much as now. Even tho you sorta know that, you never really think about it that much as a cis person. Until you hear that deep harsh reality. Reality that's not just "well yeah, you they won't be able to have kids, but with all those surgeries they'll pass as that gender - happy ending". But it's rarely talked about this issue really into detail that it's not just a person getting surgeries and then it forever fixing their dysphoria, trans people still experience it and will most likely experience it for the rest of their lives. I already felt the "You'll never be cis" and i can't imagine how heart breaking that must be for a trans person hearing that. The more mad I get when I stumble over people trying to debunk trans issues as if being trans, getting surgery, taking hormones that permanently change your voice and many more aspects, is a choice out of wanting attention. Yes there will be always people like that, but none of them would go this far because transitioning as a cis gender would cause dysphoria. Also I think it shouldn't at all be looked at if cis or not, trans person being transgender doesn't make them less of that gender, so society shouldn't force anyone to feel this way about a thing trans people clearly can't achieve and change
It's not compassionate to encourage trans people and engage in lies with them. Help them accept the truth. Help them be stronger in their own bodies. Don't lie to them and tell them that they should be the opposite gender that they are. Lies hurt. Stop hurting people.
@@0x6a09 just because something is someone's choice doesn't mean that it's good. We don't encourage self harm or ending one's life, even though those things are a choice.
Damn I did not know it was that hard. I have thought time to time that “perhaps it would be better if I was a boy”, i genuinely thought that my female body was a curse and i hated it. As i grew a bit older - and as I expected - it was just a *phase* of sorts (idk how to word it). All that’s important for me now is that I’m happy being cisgendered, and I don’t want to be a boy anymore. I’ve never spared a thought for those who stuck with it, those who this really affects their lives. I kinda feel guilty for treating it as a phase, and for thinking that for others it was the same too. I know better now (and before I watched this vid tbh). And I know I’m gonna sound like that one European in the chat, but on top of dealing with all the gender malarkey, you have to save up medical funds *just to pay.* I don’t think that’s fair at all, at least some of it should be subsided, smh. I wish you all the best mate!!! [UPDATE: it wasn’t phase, I just didn’t have a way of describing my disconnect with my gender not quite being a girls and rarely ever feeling masc. I am NON-BINARY. Which is cool. Never felt comfortable with being cis, felt like a betrayal even back then I just thought I had to bite the bullet and deal with my reality of being born AFAB]
good on you for figuring the update out! yeah, I can heavily relate to thinking being AMAB was a curse. in a fucked up subconscious way, I saw male privilege as like a shitty consolation prize for not being real people. all the time as a kid I'd be like "if only I were doing this as a girl, that'd make more sense", but then my "rational" mind would be like "actually, you shouldn't want to be a girl because their lives are harder, you're crazy and sexist for thinking this". I could only interpret the deep discomfort with my body as a manifestation of an underlying perversion from a disgusting "male mind". I stripped away my entire personality and replaced it with a robotic series of coping mechanisms in a trenchcoat, becoming distant and disconnected from reality
that seems to be common. those moving from girlhood to women hood and the uneasy path of puberty. in highschool for some reason i was so hung up on not wanting some kind of "sexy hipswaying womanly gait" and I don't remember how I felt about breasts, as they were "to small" .
"You'll never be cis" Yep. Every now and then I'll think about how I never got to be a little girl, I never got to play with dolls, I never got to have a sleepover with the other girls, I never got to do so many things that are considered ubiquitous to the girl experience-and, just like you said, it breaks my heart every time I remember that I can't get pregnant. I want to get pregnant so bad, but I know that the only way it'll happen is if a dozen things I have little to no control over all go perfectly and all within the next 30 years (in other words, it's just not gonna happen). I still love being trans, I don't think I would choose to have been born a cis girl if I could... but that doesn't mean it's a perfect existence. I didn't find out I was a girl until I was already a woman. I'll... never have the childhood I deserved. I keep finding myself trying to reclaim it at least a little bit-buying stuffed animals and things like that-but I know I'll never get to go back. I'm just... picking up the pieces as best I can. But, to circle it back to more positive stuff... I think that I just wish I had figured it out sooner, not that I wish I was born cis. Gender euphoria is a wonderful feeling-ever since I experienced it for the first time three years ago, that spike of sheer joy and elation and excitement and comfort is just as potent as it ever was. I don't think I'd appreciate my femininity, my beauty, nearly as much if I had been born into it. I've fought long and hard for this body, and I'm enjoying it to the fullest! I'm 16 months on HRT, and I'm already more beautiful than I could have ever imagined-my breasts, my curves, my face, my butt, my hair... it's all just so beautiful! I love my body, every last part of it! Yeah I still get dysphoria sometimes (my voice and shoulders mainly), but I'm finally in a body I feel comfortable in! My depression has been CURED, as far as I'm concerned! My therapist once told me that I shouldn't dwell on what could have been since what I have now is still pretty great-and y'know what? She's right! I'm a woman through and through, and I love it! Sure my childhood may have been a trash fire, but I have risen from the flames as a beautiful phoenix! Like yeah, it would've been nice to have grown up as a girl (especially since I remember showing signs as early as 6 y/o), but y'know what-I'm a woman now, and that's pretty fuckin' great! 😊
I have a younger afab sibling who experiences discomfort with her assigned gender and her body, similar to dysphoria. She's still in the stage of figuring things out, so she still uses she/her pronouns. We have looked at unisex names together and made a lil list. And I'm planning on buying her a gc2b binder for her birthday :) I wanted to thank you for making these informative videos. They help me with being a supportive sister.
Awwww you’re being such an amazing sibling! Thank you for listening and watching these videos to better understand what you’re sibling is going through. It’s so heartwarming to hear that you are there for support and help along the way :) additionally, if you can think of any video topic ideas I can discuss that may help, feel free to suggest them here!
I’m cis and trying to learn more about what trans people experience both day to day and long term. This is so far the most eloquent, bittersweet, and enlightening video I’ve seen about transitioning and living as a trans person in a world mostly stacked against them. Please keep doing what you’re doing
Thank you so much for the kind words. I make these videos as a way to share my experience, and it’s a breath of fresh air when I see cisgender people watch them to better understand what trans people are going through. Thank you for watching and especially for listening :) much appreciated
fr. from age 12 I tried to transition but was forced to wait until I was 20. that waiting is devastating and the damage puberty did to me in that time is irreversible...
tbh the thing is I'm fine with being trans, I never wanted to be cis or a cis guy, I'm kinda nonbinary but also trans masc. I don't plan on getting bottom surgery but I'll get top and T. So like eh it's not too big of a deal for me.
It will never be NOT a big deal! Your whole body changes! It's a BIG step! And it's also VERY difficult to find a Psychologist and endocrinologist who are WITH you in that. Sincerly: A transgender who's in theraphy and living male since spring last year! "Fine with being trans"... Yeah VERY EASY! Not to be normal and DECIDE to go this way because you cannot hide behind masks and mannerisms forever before you'll finally give up. Biggest bs I've read today. TF
I had no idea that gender was such a big thing. I've never considered how everything is segregated as "for men" and "for women", from clothes all the way down to food brands or drinks. It's insane how different our biologies are (XX and XY) and how being born into a body with an unmatched sex can be so difficult. To all trans people reading this, you're so strong! Remember you're no less than anyone else and deserve the treatment you need! 💙❤☁❤💙
Actually the Y-chromosome does very little. It is more of an innitiator of the sex differentiation process towards maleness. Also important for keeping sperm funtional. But that is pretty much it. The physical bit of masculinisation of a foetus is handled by testosterone and anti-mullerian hormone. Have some insensitivity to those and you will come out as something in between in a very physical way. You have the genes to grow boobs, a larger voice box/longer cords (Deeper voice), adams apple (I'm amab and have no apple, my friend is afab and has a huge one, go figure), body hair, hips (Bones are mostly fused after a certain age) but you can still get fat in the right places, fat/water distritution, etc etc, regardless of sex chromosomes. Someone can f.inst inherit their boob genetics from their father. So you get huge knockers just like grandma on your dads side had, instead of the little mounds your mom has. It's just that good ol dad never ran on estrogen but on testosterone so those boobs never developed. So since we are all essentially something in between you can hack your body and make it run in the other mode. Ofc, that junk configuration you ended up with after all that stuff in the womb is hard to entirely change, but stuff happens down there as well in response to hormones. Be ftm and you do get a tiny little thingy complete with head, shaft and foreskin and inside your labia more scrotum like wrinklyness will appear. Fascinating stuff. And ofc the feminine penis. Smells and tastes like girl junk (Like clean junk, not if you got some problem or infection down there), is softer, more delicate and sensitive. It basically turns into a huge clit. And the area between your butthole and junk becomes more puffy and girl like. If you are say immune to testosterone due to wonky receptors then you come out as a girl despite being 46XY. Only non girl part is your gonads that became testes instead of ovaries. But you have a vagina, a womb and all that. You can even get pregnant if you use a donor egg. They are the most feminine of all people since they will never get any masculine features. No little lady stache at 40 since they are immune to androgens. Heck, they found a womb inside a father or four during a hernia operation. He never knew since it did not cause any discomfort or problems. Makes you think how many intersex people there really are.
@@Herowebcomics ok I'm not going to argue because that won't make you listen. So, instead, how about you just think. Who's it hurting? If it makes them feel happier, who's it hurting? If all they're asking is for respect and help, does that really impact your day to day life? Is seeing a trans flag in your feed going to cause you a mental breakdown? No? Then just live and let live.
@@Herowebcomics their body their choice, I don't tell you how to live or who to love so don't act like you need to have full control on what someone else does. The world doesn't revolve around your religion
@@milchi5122 exactly! "It's your fault I can't MAGICALLY change my sex" No one can! People acting like this is some rpg game and can change their skin color and EVERYTHING
@Milchi @@elgatochurro Thanks guys. You two raging about your own misunderstandings of the original comment (they specifically said they're not trans lol) and strawmen helps everyone see how silly you are. And yes, being tolerant and loving requires fighting against intolerance and hate; it's mildly paradoxical, but most people seem to understand the concept.
You know... If I've learned anything from being trans, is that I don't want to be cis, I wouldn't be the person I am today, and I would probably turn out just as transphobic as my parents if I was afab, sure I would go through all the things girls go through, but it wouldn't matter, I wouldn't feel that rush of euphoria and happiness every time I get referred to as she because it wouldn't mean anything. Call me a freak, a weirdo, an anomaly, an aberration from the norm, those labels don't hurt. The biggest insult I could receive is being called normal.
I’m not trans and cannot really relate to most of this but wow I can’t even imagine how hard it is to go through some of the things you go through. Please know that I completely support you and wish you the very best ❤️
I’m not exactly sure what gender I am or what kind of changes I want to make. But I’m here to tell you all: Stay strong, and don’t be afraid to be who you really are!
One day you will be able to :) nonetheless, that doesn’t mean right now isn’t extraordinarily difficult. Please stay safe and stay strong. You got this.
@@PhoenixAnimations Ya know I really really want to transition, but I feel scared and alone. I don't know what to do. Do you know how it's like or anything because like... I am just so scared of transitioning because of all the drama and hate in the world towards people who want to transition. I think a lot about this and it hurts so much to be honest.
I'm not going to lie. There's a lot I don't understand about the idea of wanting to go trans, or not feeling right in your body, or about the pain of not being cis. Maybe some things I will never understand. But what I do know, is that people should be able to do what makes them happier. I don't get a lot of what's behind it, but if this is what makes people feel more like themself and it doesn't hurt anyone else, I guess it's for the better.
Well its not really that anyone "wants to go trans" its more like people just being born trans. Really nice comment tho. Some people dont understand that you dont have to understand you just have to try your best to empathize and accept people for who they are.
@@0x6a09 It’s not a case of feeling you look ugly or deformed (the psychological discomfort associated with that is body dysmorphia, not gender dysphoria). Male presenting me looked pretty good when I was in shape… moderately handsome in photos from a few years back…. But it never looked like me. Imagine that a perfectly ordinary stranger who kind of looks like a gender swapped version of you is what you see in the mirror every day and what everyone else sees. Imagine how fake you feel trying to live this familiar stranger’s life, like an actor playing a role… always in character, never allowed to get off the stage…. Never just being you. It does awful things to your mental health. I started transitioning at nearly 50, after decades of suppressed dysphoria eating away at me and you know what happened? Almost everyone who knew me was astonished at how there was a cheerful, motherly woman hiding in the melancholy, bitter man they’d known. My 72 year old retired army officer dad (who was a bit floored by my coming out) was grinning at me just two months later saying he couldn’t remember ever seeing me so constantly happy and that it was a hell of a nice change. I’ll never be cis but you know what? I never was in the first place and trying to be was slowly destroying me. I didn’t choose "to go trans". I just accepted what I always was and decided to try being happy instead of more socially acceptable. I stopped living my life for the benefit of others. This actress found her way off the stage and retired the grumpy middle aged man character.
@@paranoidrodent body dysmorphia is almost always part of gender dysmorphia (at least, i think so), most trans don't like being in their bodies. Even though, like you just said, the idea society gets of them is more important for them? I don't know. I'm not a trans.
@@0x6a09 Body dysmorphia alone is an obsession with perceived defects or flaws that others cannot see and has no specific link to gender. A BD diagnosis alone will not help you medically transition. In fact, I got misdiagnosed with it initially (anxiety, undiagnosed autism and an old-fashioned therapist who thought of gender as binary = confused therapist) and literally denied a chance to transition in the past. Gender dysphoria’s symptoms and diagnosis criteria all revolve around gender and the sex of the body. I imagine a combined diagnosis could occur for people who get so worried about physically passing that they start seeing flaws in their appearance that simply aren’t there to anyone else but most dysphoric body complaints are reasonable concerns related to passing and social acceptance (including safety). They don’t necessarily go hand in hand since, yes, we can have objectively reasonable concerns about our appearance that are no more psychologically disordered than those of a cis person wanting cosmetic surgery. Not everyone get fixated on single features to the point of disorder.
just a friendly reminder that you do not need to medically transition to be trans you're enough ❤️ but if you do want to transition, i really hope you're able to ❤️ stay strong
whilst i do appreciate that saying someone doesn't need medical transition to be happy it's important to remember that some people do have bodily dysphoria that's very difficult and can only really be helped by these treatments. i don't think it's the right choice for all transgender people i agree, but for some i think it's needed
how common is it non transitioned people get the lover. if I were a man and know hrt and surgery can never give me the look I want (because if I could have a new body I don't know what I'd want. who I should look like) that a cis gay man would want sex with me. because I look like a female.
@@miracledinner2244 body dysphoria is actually better helped by gender affirming hormones (giving males testosterone; giving females progesterone). Stop lying and saying the only way to help is permanent mutilation.
@@kaiyodei I was kind of surprised at how little starting transitioning lowered how many people I attract (if anything it slightly increased interest) but it definitely caused my dating pool to shift. I started mingling more in queer and trans friendly spaces. Other trans people started seeming more relatable to and attractive, as did NB, genderqueer and fluid folks and some bi and pan cis individuals seem to find trans folks at least as appealing as other cis folks since they tend to be comfortable with human bits in general (and there are the chasers but they creep me out). I ended up dating another trans woman and the way the two of us just understand and are good at avoiding triggering each other’s dysphoria (and reinforcing the euphoria) is something amazing. My advice would be to not sweat the cis gay dudes in particular and look at the broader queer community. As a non-transitioned individual, someone who is bi/pan/omni/polysexual and/or non-cis is way more likely to just like and accept you for who you are.
My boyfriend is trans and I like watching these videos to try and understand more of what trans people go through this was really helpful and informative thank you
I'm not trans but I'm still on the verge of tears for some reason. Imagining having to fight your whole life to fit in the identity you want sounds deliberating and being told "you'll never be cis" even felt heavy for me. I just wanna let you all know you're so so valid and just because you're a little different doesn't make you any less of a boy/girl. I love you!!!!
I wanna get there and I’m willing to go through it to get happy. It’ll take time. It’s harsh, it’s bitter but it’s goin to be okay in the end. Thank you for letting me know this and letting me have a valid reason to cry
That’s a new perspective for me. I’m non-binary, so my identity is based on the fact that I’m not cis and will never want to be, but hearing these words still gave me a little more hope for the future.
I wouldn't say that's what being nonbinary is based on. I'm nonbinary myself and so wish that I either could be born sexless and be cis, or if I just didn't have dysphoria and could be happy as a cis person. I'd advise not giving that impression to people when it is in fact possible for nonbinary people to wish they were cis 😅 (note: not saying every nb person wishes to be sexless! that's not the only way to have a nonbinary-sexed body)
Hearing all this only made me more confident with my choices, thank you ! Somehow, not being cis learned me so much and in a way, made me stronger It's a harsh battle and I'm still learning today ! My last lesson was that it's okay to have fears about all this. It doesn't make you less valid ! As you said, it will be worth it ! Maybe I won't be cis but I know that that long battle will bring me to a point when I will live in my body and no longer survive and treat it as a burden Rant over, good video !
Yo I’m so glad you found the video helpful! That’s great to hear. Definitely agree that it’s okay to have fears too (I actually was just working on a video for that exact topic!). Hope you have a great rest of your day/night!
Dear trans men: You are JUST as much of a man as a cis man, even before you start transitioning or come out. Dear trans women: You are JUST as much of a woman as a cis girl, even before you start transitioning or come out. Dear gender fluid and non-binary people: You don't have to be some perfect androgynous being to be the gender you identify as. You can be feminine or masculine and still be gender fluid/non-binary Dear all trans people: If you identify as a gender, YOU ARE THAT GENDER. Never feel like you are less than a cis person. You are stronger than us and you are oh so beautiful. I wish you all the best transition journey possible ♡
I'd argue trans people are more their gender than cis people ever will be because we've had to very carefully consider and work for every aspect of it in the way that they never will
I mean, identifying as female won’t give me D cup breasts and make me 5’4”, so even though I know what I really am inside, doesn’t change the fact that I still go through hell most days.
umm no. it's okay to identify as a trans. You don't need to force yourself into being a man or a woman cuz you'll never be. You'll always be a trans. Learn to love your body and understand that just because you aren't a man/woman, doesn't mean that you're not "valid".
@@zenfae8373 there's so much you do not understand about the experience that we go through. It's not about learning to love our bodies, it's about making our bodies something we can love. If i could just, with hard work, love myself how i was, even though would be the easy path, i would not. Our experiences make us, and my experience as someone who has gone through something a cis person never will, makes me myself. We are the sum of our parts, and my transness is one of those parts. I love myself alright, i just won't call myself something i am not, a man. I am a girl, and i've always been a girl, and though my body is wretched, i continue on, that's more that enough proof of the love i hold for myself. The one who does not love, is just you.
I'm cis, so I never thought that it would be this hard to transition to another gender. Hearing "you will never be cis" made me realize that there are struggles that I never thought someone would go through. Gender dysphoria sucks, I just hope that everyone that goes through this can go one day and say "You know what? I'm proud to be trans. I accept myself for how I am". Maybe one day.
I know this was made 3 years ago, but, thank you! I was considering not transitioning at all because of the exact 'reality' that was explained in this video. But because of your words in the outro, I think I am going to do it.
What a lovely video. Yes, those are harsh truths, but they're so relatable this video makes me feel seen. It pokes at my wounds, but somehow makes me feel stronger at the same time. And it also makes me feel I'm not alone. Thank you for posting this.
I'm just your local pansexual bean here saying that I'm here for y'all! I believe in y'all, power through the transitioning process, you can do it! All of y'all are beautiful individuals, and I support each and every one of you! Edit- Wow, how things have changed lol. I actually no longer identify as pansexual, I'm now the local abro-romantic and they/them pal :)
Stumbled across this and just wanted to share to anyone reading this, still struggling if they want to take these steps. I did it 25 years ago. I was terrified, especially in a world where most of us had to hide what we were doing. There were a lot of challenges. People I lost along the way. And I've got regrets of things I've done and things I didn't do. But I can absolutely say that not once have I ever regretted my choice to transition. The challenges I dealt with can't ever overcome the joy I have that I've been able to spend over half my life as *myself*. That the pictures of *him* from when I was young feel like looking at another person now. You will struggle in your transition, but understand that you are giving your future self the greatest gift you can. Do it for them.
Seeing all these other points of view and hearing other people's stories makes you thankful for things you didn't even know you should be thankful for. I'm thankful I don't need to change a thing. I stand with you. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable and happy
This made me cry. Hurts that I’ll never stop fighting with this, everybody else who is trans or not cis... just let’s try to fight. I have tried suicide, but I’m happy that I failed. I have few very good friends and I’m getting okay day by day. I love you guys, stay strong, there’s always at least one person who loves you the way you are💕
When I first saw this video years ago it really disheartened me, but coming back to it now, knowing the harshness but still wanting to transition makes me feel more sure in my identity than if it were easy
When I read the title of this video, I was actually not expecting what I hear. I was however, pleasantly surprised. It’s a super harsh reality but one many have to face... including myself.
Yo thanks for watching! It definitely can be a sort of harsh awakening when first heard (as I felt years ago). I wish you the best of luck in your journey though :)
I was so scared this was gonna be one of those “transitioning is mutilating your body and you’ll regret it” videos
Oh no no no. My channel is hella LGBTQ2+ supportive.
I fucking hate when people use the term mutilation. Makes me wanna mutilate whoever says it
@@PhoenixAnimations ¿2+?
@Andrés Martínez Ramos The 2 stands for Two Spirit. The plus is for inclusion of others not mentioned that fall within the LGBTQ2 community.
@@PhoenixAnimations oh ok
'you will never be cisgender' was not ready for that today.
It’s a heavy video...
It just kinda hurts.
Why can't I be cisgender too? :(
Tessa Schmessa because life is unfair. I wish you all the love in the world to be where you want to be. Some day. You can go there and be happy :)
I mean is this a revelation to anyone? It’s what most people mean when they say you’re not really a girl/boy.
I didn't even want to hear it, because I've always known. I think about it alot but it hurts more every time. I *will* never be cis-gender, but in the end I'm not transitioning to become a cis-man, I'm transitioning to become ME.
Exactly :) great way to phrase it
@@PhoenixAnimations thank you :) ✨
I love the way you phrased that
@@BobBob-yi3wm thank you 🤗
I WOULD LIKE THIS BUT IT'S AT 420 LIKES
As a cis male, who is currently still living under the roof of transphobic household, I was transphobic almost my entire life. It wasn't until I looked around, and truly realized what trans people go though. For those who I may have unknowingly hurt, I am deeply sorry. It hurts to know that people struggle like this, and that I turned a blind eye to the situation for so long. Even though realistically I probably haven't hurt anyone since I have very few people I actually talk to, I really want to say I am sorry. I'm thankful I got this off my chest.
im gonna cry
You are amazing.
you are a nice guy. thank you
We forgive you
Unfortunately the dark side of our social nature is we have a habit of absorbing whatever group-think is around us without a second thought, even group-think that's vile and hateful and downright deplorable. This is why some very unjust positions of society can remain for a thousand years or more yet suddenly seem to change overnight when the tides of change force the apathetic to self reflect on it, like what's happened for homosexuality. I think transgender acceptance is about at the place where homosexuality was in the early 2000's, and as scary as that is especially for anyone that's trans there's a light of hope to that as well, that just around the temporal corner, there's a wind of change blowing and we just have to make it there to see it, that we will, and things *will* get better.
I highly recommend the episode "deep canvasing" from the podcast You Are Not So Smart on this note. It's just one very promising tactic of affecting change in the toolbox but to me at least to hear of it and how it came to be discovered was a very eye opening thing for me. The jest of it goes that after a slight majority of voters in California of all places back in 2008 voted against same sex marriage, the LGBT activist community was utterly stunned and bewildered, wondering, how? Why? One finally said why don't we just go ask them, and through door to door knocking to genuinely ask people in good faith why they voted against their rights, they stumbled into a new way to advocate, not by preaching but by listening. Not by telling off the presumed homophobe but by letting them share stories while they shared stories also, and in the process they found voters making epiphanies on their own and found just by getting enough people to choose on their own to slow down and self reflect through empathic *human-to-human* connections you can change enough minds to swing elections, even if all you have is time for a 15-20 minute front porch talk in each engagement. There's a little more to it than that, def. listen to that pod if it sounds remotely interesting though I can't recommend it enough.
I’m not trans, but hearing “you’ll never be cis” was so sad to me. I never thought about it like that. Stay strong my trans friends!
Thank you for watching the video, listening, and supporting us! Hope you have a great day/night 🖤🤎❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Your pfp speaks to me, lmao
idk why but i’ve been crying my eyes out because of dysphoria, and this comment made my day a lot better. thank you for being so kind :) have a beautiful day
char star you have a beautiful day too. I wish you the best with your transition!
Sacked Potatoes I always love it so much when I find allies on these videos too
I'm sitting here in a dress. I've been on estrogen for 3 months. I'm so scared of the future, but it's what's best for me.
It’s okay to be afraid and/or nervous. You can be both nervous and happy for new beginnings and the journey ahead :)
@@PhoenixAnimations I'm extremely excited. My friends are supportive. My boss is too. She asked a couple questions today. I know that they're trying, and that is so great, but sometimes it seems like they're condescending. I know they probably don't mean it, but it's still there, and they're my friends... other people... It's gonna be a hard journey, isn't it?
@Christian Bird Difficult? yeah... worth it? Definitely. That’s great to hear you have some support in day to day life along the way though :) supportive friends/family can make a huge difference
@@PhoenixAnimations thank you. I really like your stuff by the way.
@Christian Bird why thank you! I try my best haha. I really appreciate the kind words and for supporting my channel :) I hope you have an awesome rest of your day/night!
I still haven’t come out to my parents yet so I’m hoping they will take it well and let me start transitioning even if it is difficult.
Best of luck! Remember to stay safe too
Thank you both! And I’ll also make sure to be careful.
same here :) I hope it goes alright for you, take the time that you need to tell them, it's not a easy step. just remember you're never alone and that random stranger in youtube's comments section is currently in the same situation as you are and thousands of other random strangers all around the globe are too. we're never alone and we will fight for each other and that's what matter. have a great day and a great life
i wish you good luck, i know coming out is never easy, but in the end its worth it.
I’m not even allowed my hair cut and I’m out
As a 62 year old transgender woman who is halfway through her transition I am moved to say you really nailed the experience. Your video brought tears to my eyes because I empathised with everything you said. Thank You. Cisgender people really and truly have no idea of the battles we face every day. We will never be cisgender but making it through transition requires a strength and a resilience that is rare. That makes all transgender people kind of special.
@@gemmeerobinson1803 being trans has nothing to do with religion
At least that you can safely pass the pass check that you look like a women not just physically but also from how you speak, walk, style, and etc etc. and still self-aware that you can't be a biological women. After all, gender and sex are different thing, and all of us just want that lil bit of happiness in our life in this cruel world.
wow, a 62 year old trans person? that surprising, but so inspiring. ❤
Wow, we really get to live that long
Atleast all the trans people who made it that far. Unfortunately we don't hear much from the rest, I hope to see a time where we do and where they thrive.
"you will never be cisgender"
this is what gets me most often. I'll never have had a boy's childhood. I'll never know what it's like to be born and raised a boy. I'll be a boy sure and just because I'm different doesn't mean I'm not valid but honestly the feeling of loss for a life I never got to live hurts me so much and my parents, although mostly accepting, have a really hard time understanding this because I (for the most part) had an okay childhood and had good friends and memories I wouldn't have had if I were a cis boy. But even so, I hate myself for that. I know trans men are valid but I always have this feeling that I'm inferior and will never feel okay with myself. And the fact that this is probably true sucks. I'm 7 months on T and my dysphoria is still bad. I have a feeling it will continue to be soul crushing for as long as I have a chest. Every night I think about why the fuck it's even worth trying if I'll never be okay in this body because it'll never be perfect. But then I see trans men older than me who have been through this and are better now and then I see my boyfriend who sees all of me as a man and my parents who still love me and little brother (12yo) who is absolutely stoked that I'm trans because according to him: "Some people say they want a sister or brother but I got to have both in one person!!" and is super happy to have a big brother now. And I have to remind myself that it's going to be okay eventhough everything inside me is constantly screaming about how utterly wrong everything feels all the time. But I gotta fight this for my future self and for my loved ones.
Edit:
Update. I’m now 26 months on T and 10 months post top surgery. Things are so much better now. I came back to this because of a bunch of new people finding my comment and I want y’all who are going through the same thing to know it does get better. Not gonna lie I still mourn the childhood I never got and most of what I said here is still how I feel, but it is SO much easier to deal with now. It’s not perfect and it never will be, and that sucks ass. But it’s at least okay now. And the further along I get in this, the less and less I hate myself and the more often I get days without any dysphoria at all. I don’t think it’ll ever go away fully, but I’m at a point now where I’m actually… kinda okay with that. I still have bad days/nights, but things just feel better. I know how hard it is. And I know everyone who says this sounds like they’re bullshitting you, but * things WILL be okay. And by every deity out there, it is absolutely worth it to stick it out through the very worst parts. *
Stay strong! it'll all be worth it in the end! you might not have been able to experience prior things, but from now on its on you, like they say, its not about becoming cis, but about becoming yourself, i wish you the best of luck on your journey! ^ ^
A key thing to remember is that, you don't actually know what it feels like to be male, so what you feel like you want to be may be what you think being male is like, but you actually have no way of knowing that, so being overly fixated with it isn't helpful. People have a tendency to feel that the grass is always greener on the other side but unless you are actually there you can't ever really comprehend all of the components and moving parts so basing life decisions on such an incomplete understanding and guesstimates is not advisable.
You may not have gotten to be a boy, but you will get to be a man! That's something to look forward too, right? It also might help to look into inner child work - when parts of us aren't nurtured, they stay young inside us, but you can caretake your inner child who didn't get those important boy experiences. You should also really look into your feelings of being inferior, because changing your body won't make that go away. Once your chest is gone, it''ll be your muscles or your height or the money you make and it's endless (something I learned having an eating disorder -- when I reached my dream weight I found out it wasn't about the weight. That was more devasting than the disorder itself). Learn to feel adequate as the person you've made yourself into; that's the only way it will end.
I believe in you. You've got this!
Kati West thank you so much. your reply made me think about a few things differently and more... hopefully I guess.
Same
"Is a lifelong battle." nah man catch my skeleton fighting for trans rights
HA!
i died laughing at this comment
This comment made me laugh ^^
I'm a ghost and I second this comment
Count me in!
All I want bro is to pass and be stealth for the rest of my life. Nobody else needs to know the other side of the story, unless if they’re close friends and family.
It’s totally okay to be stealth, yeah! Eventually you’ll be able to get to that point :)
Angelina Robinson
Same. I don’t want to tell anyone, so I’m tempted to just never date again :P
You'd be surprised by how open people are and how loving they can be. Don't worry, dating isn't a lost option
My life would be a million times better if I could stealth
@@Herowebcomics How about you check your rampant transphobia and entitlement
As a straight white male I appreciate your honesty and your vulnerability. I applaud you and wish you all the best.
sincere thank you for being a good person, there is way too much toxicity in this comment section.
You are an amazing ally. Thank you.
A STRAIGHT WHITE MAN... MWAHAHAHA!
How is the white part relevant??
being conscious not being part of visible or invisible minorities i guess. Thanks for your braveness too, and taking time to explain what you live. @@Rolando_Cueva
The small detail point has never been clearer to me than when my mtf friend told me she was jealous of me for having a period. I was so confused, I thought "who the hell would want this? I have pmdd, menstruation is miserable for me". But I understand now that it's not really about the experience of it, it's that trans people don't get to have the experiences of cis people.
Yeah! The jealousy runs both physically as in terms of biological things such as periods to mentally too - being jealous that cis people don’t have to be in a constant battle of mind vs body restricted by society and if they can even come out to be themselves in the first place. Also socially. It can be frustrating that cis people don’t have to worry about day to day stuff like being threatened or worse. I definitely have moments of jealousy to cis people and that privilege.
Also periods suck haha.
@@PhoenixAnimations To be privileged is to be outside the norm and benefiting from it. Cis people are literraly the norm, they can't be privileged because of it. For them to be privileged you would have to be the norm and they would have to benefit from it. Someone who would be ill can't say that healthy people are privileged, because to be healty is what was intended, you can't make grief to the healty for it, yes it suck to be ill, but being healty is not a privilege. They are 3 kind of people, the one who are in the norm and those who are outside the norm, and from this they are ones who benefit from being outside the norm and those who don't. You just don't, but make no mistake on who are the privileged ones.
Yeah, some dude told me I wouldn't want a pp bc it's miserable. I genuinely don't care I just want to feel like a real boy and experience it
Lestrate guerre I don’t think that’s what they meant. I think it means straight/cis people have the benefit of being themselves, and not having to deal with society telling them it’s wrong or a constant battle with their mind and body. I’m pretty sure that was the point. No one would kill someone for being cis or straight, but would do it to someone the opposite in a heart beat. Which makes people who are lgbtq+ feel like straight/cis people have a privilege. Or atleast an advantage over them in society, which they definitely do.
Loveon Letang The same as women having a significant advantage over men in North American society and Christians having an advantage over Pagans. Homosexuality is a much needed balance in nature to help with population issues as is transgenderism. It’s societal beliefs that came from Abrahamic religions that stigmatized it.
the thing what hit me the most was "you're never gonna be cis" Wow it just made my heart sink
Definitely a heavy topic to talk about...
Why is it bad? Tbh I don't get it
@@comichb that's wrong and already debunked
blogs.scientificamerican.com/sa-visual/visualizing-sex-as-a-spectrum/
Btw trans women and Swyer syndrome women (XY chromosomes, no gametes and no ovaries) are in the same biological sex spectrum and trans men and Chapelle syndrome men (XX chromosomes, no testes and no sperm) are in the same biological sex spectrum too
@@loreytrafi9613 Because you'll never know what it would be like to grow up comfortable in your own body, cis people are treated as the gender they identify since they were little kids, and while you can transition later on there will always exists people who will hate you for existing
@@ay7164 ikr I just debunked the "trans women are b. male" and "trans men are b. female" argument
One thing that upsets me is the fact that I never got to be a horny, stupid, silly, teenage boy. It sounds stupid, but as a girl such behaviour simply wasn’t expected. I have a brother, and he used to hang out with his friends and they always seemed so silly doing ridiculous and stupid yet fun stuff, but it made me sad knowing that if I behaved like that I’d be called weird...
Looking back, I just want to say; live your teenage years the way you want to live :)
Maybe you didn't have the right friends to be horny and stupid with. I was like that with a bunch of my gal pals. Who cares if you're called weird? Oh wait, teenagers shit. That's when other people's opinions sky rocket exponentially because of puberty and being overly aware of other humans. Still that's why teenagers are in dire need of counselling.
Same
I am a cis male, and I was never horny and stupid. Being a teenage boy isn't all that great, at least for me. You're probably not missing much.
Not every dudes teenage years were the same. Me personally I was never as much a horndog as some of my peers were. It's a good habit to try and not generalise you know. Anyway be well m8
I'm sad everyone thinks I'm horny all the time
When I realized I was trans, I immediately asked for a haircut and new clothes. Only to realise I was still going through the same struggles. I was in the same body; not comfortable in my own skin. I'm still waiting for a binder, but for now a sports bra has been working.
I'm super scared to do a top surgey, but I really would like to get rid of my female chest. I would like to be on testosterone too. I'm not sure about bottom surgery. I just wish I was *born* a guy. I keep crying lately because I wasn't.
hair cut for other people to know "this is man" or "i like it when my hair is really short"
when I see people freak out about their hair, it makes it hard to take someone serious. then again I don't have a hair identity. it's fine, and I'm lazy so I can't do much. I get a hair cut and it's "i don't know, make it so I can see, um layers? can you cut it diagonally? I guess make it fun?". I know I don't want an army style buzzcut. I don't want pigtails. a pony tail is nessessity. long hair is a chore and in winter I get massive knots. sometimes I'm not sure who I even really am, or "what I am". but that's the bipolar talking.
so a "ahhh my hair, I need new hair style" just looks like 'really? you are going to die over a pixe cut?" looks absurd
hey man i relate to this from a past perspective, i’m 3 months on T and things are so much better now then there were when i was a preteen and younger teen. I don’t want to lie to you and say that things will be easy but they will certainly get better and stuff starts to make sense eventually.
listen, you were born with a female body. That all there is to it. I'm not sure what you think it means "spiritually" or whatever, but it means nothing. Ask yourself what you imagine would be different if you could actually switch to a male body. Would you feel safer? more respected? Accepted as equal by males in your life? Imagine the scenario and make a list of what's different. Sexism exists, homophobia exists. Women have to deal with that our whole lives.
@@kaiyodei For me, I didn't freak out about my hair, but it was a source of anxiety (and still is, as I try to figure out what I really want to do with it). My first discomfort around my hair was more of a realization that I had always gotten the blandest haircut possible. In fact, I did a _lot_ of things that helped me not be perceived, probably because I couldn't stand to look at myself in a mirror. Now, I'm understanding that I don't have to suppress myself to fit some invented mold. That's years (decades!) of repressed energy waiting to burst out. And I really only understood that pressure after some months, as the worry began to pile up and take its toll, so I can hardly blame anyone for not getting it at first!
I'm lucky enough to have a supportive family and friends, and the independence of being an adult, but it must be so much harder for a teen whose family isn't supportive. Because you're right, a haircut shouldn't mean that much: so why should anyone's parent's get so upset about their kid expressing themselves in such a harmless way? The worst that could happen is that you wait for the hair to grow back out, right? It becomes very quickly apparent to the kid that their parents are trying to control and suppress rather than love and nurture, even if they don't have the wisdom to put it in those words. To add insult to injury, many of these parents claim to love their kids, but the hair is the evidence that they aren't even willing to see their kids for who they are.
tl; dr To be in pain is to have certainty. To hear of another's pain is to have doubts.
You are being sexist.
You are assuming people with short hair must be men.
Wrong!!
Girls can have short hair too!!
i'm MtF and sometimes it hurts.
i cry knowing i'll never experience a childhood as a teen girl, and how it was wasted being a lonely, suicidal, disguting boy.
i cry knowing i'll never experience dating the same way a girl does.
i cry knowing i may never pass.
i cry knowing i'll never have full control of my voice in the way ciswomen can, such as Amy Lee's dark resonance.
i cry knowing that i'll never escape the hellhole that is being man. i'm forever cursed with it.
Same.. I cry knowing I'll only be seen as a fetish to men... it's really sad but hang on sister, we'll reach happiness
@@Herowebcomics You've been replying to almost every comment on this video, have you ever considered that nobody gives a shit about what you have to say on this situation? You have nothing to offer anyone here. Save your breath or stop breathing entirely, please.
@@synarsilversun9133 what is the scingustics discord?
@@Herowebcomics The truth is that you're a sad, pathetic man who, despite drawing comics for years still makes garbage. Prehapse if you spent your time learning to draw instead of inserting your bigotry into peoples lives you might grow creatively. Nobody should be taking life advice from you as you know nothing about them and their situation and nothing you have to say will change their minds. Kindly go back to your shitty comics and leave them alone.
@@Herowebcomics Pehapse you should follow your lord's example and get yourself nailled to a cross. You dont HAVE to do this, you just want to make people conform to your bullshit. Leave them alone, nobody here is going to take the opinion of an annoying dipshit who spends his time interfering with other people's lives. Find a new hobby, because neither persuasion nor drawing are your forte.
I really want to know the struggles of another trans person. Unfortunately I’m not old enough to medically transition yet, so I want to know what it was like for you. I hope it wasn’t to bad.
Maybe one day I’ll go over my full transition. I was very privileged to have mostly supportive family though. This video is specifically on the internal struggles I had when first coming out. I hope it helps in one way or another... best of luck in your journey though. Stay safe and stay you.
It's always bad, but it's the journey that makes you who you are. You are basically setting your life to hard mode and that can never change but it does get easier with the help of friends and family. I highly recommend having either friends and or family with you At all times if you go out in public. Be safe and love yourself 💜
@@Herowebcomics Do you have any idea what its like to be trans? To feel like an alien inside your own body? To spend every minute of your day lamenting, wishing you were born a girl/guy? Transitioning can be daunting. It can be tough. The bigotry and fear due to transphobes is one of the main reasons many trans people take their own lives, and you aren't helping by telling trans they shouldn't transition.
Herowebcomics no...
@@Herowebcomics stfu. theyre not who they are now. if they want to transition, then they will. they'll probably be much more comfortable with their own body. it's their life, not yours.
I had a similar experience today. I was reading through consent forms for an hrt prescription so I would be aware of the health risks associated with it. The process was going fine until I reached one of the last sections of the paper:
"I am aware that transitioning may lead to my relationships with family and friends my change, become more distant, or even severed."
It was right then that I realized that if I wanted to be who I am, that there are going to be people who I might have to burn bridges with, who won't like me and will think less of me. That it was such a real possibility that a hospital saw this and thought it was important enough to include alongside "increased risk of heart attack" and "complications with the liver". It's not like I haven't experienced transphobia before, I've been out for over 3 years now; but it's still depressing to here that people will hate me for being trans
Exactly! Which is why it’s so frustrating when people think transitioning is a choice. Like no. Why would we choose to be bullied, kicked out, threatened, and worse
I remember trying to avoid the idea that I might be trans cause I wanted my mom to still love me. after I figured it out I fully realized that I'm probably not going to be able to talk to my mother after coming out. it's hard but after a year I've kinda accepted it I guess, cause I dont have any other choice. I still get the occasional twinge of sadness knowing that I have limited time to be around my family.
@@PhoenixAnimations Christians were bullied, kicked out, threatened, and worse in ancient Roman empire. It was still their choice to be Christians and they knew fully well the persecution they would face. The fact that you will encounter adversity after a choice doesn't mean it wasn't a choice. It was a choice with consequences, harsh ones for the matter, but a choice nonetheless.
Hate - without base or reason - is the most *stupidest* thing to ever disgrace Mother Earth. ‘Stiff upper lip’ as I’ve been told, helps to numb the pain, but not ignore it.
Lestrate guerre
why are you comparing gender with religion? I can sort of(?) see what you mean, if I squint, but at the same time you worded your comment in a way that makes it seem like you’re saying transgender people can just choose not to be trans. thats just not how that works. That’s like, saying a bird can just stop being a bird whenever it wants. probably not the best comparison, but still.
Choosing to Transition is a choice, yes, but no one chooses to be picked on or bullied or punished or shunned for being who they are, or doing what they need to do to feel like themselves.
I'm revisiting this and got an ad for "what is a woman."
There's a spike in transphobia going on right now. It feels like everyone is against us. I just want to be okay.
It's so sad to see that a year later it's gotten oh so much worse. I hope that it does get better, but it's gonna get worse before it gets better. All we can do is keep fighting the hatred and bigotry with love.
@@skylartek for a little bit of hope, there was a significant increase in racist legislature put in place right up until the civil rights act of 1964, and history does tend to repeat itself
@@flamingscar5263 hope is all we have. And all we can do is hope we can hold onto it.
it kinda feels illegal to exist ngl
I'm a trans guy. I've considered myself "fully transitioned" since June 12th, 2019. This came up in my recommended, I didn't think I'd get anything from it.
Wow. I was wrong.
Thank you. I needed to watch this and see other people actually experience this kind of stuff. I thought after I checked all the boxes I wanted to and declared my transition complete, life would become easier. It's much better than before I started all this in 2015, of course! But like you said... I'm not cis. I will never be cis. The question of, "Should I go stealth, or continue to live openly?" is always bouncing around in my mind. Even if I went stealth, it wouldn't make me cis. I'd still be trans, it'd still be hard.
It's a journey. It's a ride. It's fun, it's hell... it's worth it. 💙
Hey there! So sorry for the late reply, but I read this and really wanted to reach out. Thank you for the kind words and sharing your experience. I know this sort of topic is something that a lot of trans men think about, but it can be a whole different experience hearing someone else say it out loud. I hope you are doing well since posting this. Stay safe and stay you!
Thank you so much! It's really cool to hear back from you, this was a wonderful video to see after so long.
When I commented last year, I was struggling a lot with the decision to go stealth when I transferred colleges this upcoming school year. I'm really happy to say, I'm jumping into the last two years of college at this new school completely out, and living in one of the Gender Inclusive Housing dorms on campus. I've always been loud and proud, but I feel like events in the past year have shown me how important it is to be loud and /happy/. Happy like, completely accepting of myself and this whole situation lol. It's a nice place to be. ❤
I'm MTF. Been transitioning for a while now. At first... I was excited. And, after a time I wasn't anymore. I am, and am not upset, that I will never ever ever be a Ciswoman. I won't have kids. That... hurts. fundamentally. I can't ever have children. Ever. But now? Thinking about it... I'm happy I'm a trans woman. I might not be able to have kids, I might have to take pills, I might have to go through things that ciswomen will never deal with. But in a way, it's a testament to who I am. It shows how far I've come. It makes me realize that, well... I'm a woman at heart, and while many of you may not share my religious views. I think in a way I was made stronger this way, that whenever God picked out the parts to make me, he knew I could handle it. And I can.
So yea, any of my fellow Trans folks out there, It's not all bad. It's gonna be tough, always. Your life is always tough. But it isn't bad. In many ways, being harder on you, it's good. It really makes you appreciate the things you do have, when you realize what you don't.
Dont worry. Even if u wont get kids, i hope everything gies well w/ u. u go girl!
Adopt and foster children. Some say the truest woman is one who is able to love blood that is not her own like her own
@@teacoon6399 Exactly right!!
@@teacoon6399 That’s what I want to do as a trans woman. As a woman who can’t have a child, I want to take in a child who doesn’t have a mother
Good job sister! I know that there are lots of things us trans people will never be able to do, but we can still try to find comfort in ourself in any way we can! Stay strong
This honestly made my heart hurt. It's unfair that even that we trans folk go through so much hate and hurt, we will never 100% reach the point we truly want. Thank you for stating the one thing I and many others choose to ignore.
Of course. It’s definitely not something people talk about much.... although it needs to be said more. Thank you for watching and supporting!
@@Herowebcomics well, I'd rather go through with a transition because I'll be much happier getting as close as I can be rather than unhappy and deppressed with my pshyical body.
@@Herowebcomics Sure, normal for a woman. But I am trans and it doesn't fit my gender.
@@Herowebcomics because I'm just not a woman? My gender identity is male, not female. I can't do life as a woman because I have gender dysphoria and if I were to try I would be very deppressed.
@@Herowebcomics Years of constant questioning, being genuinely much happier as a male, and living as one for 2 years.
Every time I question if I'm really trans I come across something like this that makes me cry, like hearing the line about never being cis. It reminds me all over again that I am actually trans, and somehow it's a sting that hits me over and over again, never any gentler. I wish I could be cis- I wish so badly that I could just be cis, and never have to worry about it. Never having to worry about misgendering, aggression, rejection, any of it. And it has never seemed to matter how much effort I put in, no matter how obvious I make my pronoun buttons, no matter how many times I tell people, it's a constant process trying to not be misgendered and trying to be accepted. And then I go online and see people talking about people like me in such a negative light, pretending I can just snap my fingers and be cis, but I never can. Because I never chose this. If I were given the choice, I never would have chosen to be trans.
Well hey, though that hits too close to home, try and remember some wise words I was told, that being that happiness is obtained through acceptance of one's self and one's circumstances, not any amount of peoples exceptance. So if you feel you need something to feel complete, you get it, a better lense to view life is never something you should ever be ashamed of, and know you at least have my support for what its worth, being some random person vibing in Texas.
Edit:😀👍
I know. Nobody has chosen where they are put. But they can choose where to start moving to. They can ally with others going in the same direction. You are welcome in my space. And I will see you as you are, not as they say. You are the one who knows who you are and there is no test that will change your soul. There may be tests to help lend insight into how your body works and how best to take steps. But that information isn't the on the public to know, only you and those you trust to help you keep moving twords your goals.
But why then transition? Now you are neither one or the other completely, longing for the experiences you wanted but couldn't have gotten and in an illusion of escape, thus eliminating experiences you could've had.
I feel the same way. If given the choice I would never have chosen to have to deal with all the hardships that come with being trans.
@@rchaelk2319 that's from a standpoint where any gender would be okay, which isn't the case for them.
Some people are stuck with a situation that sucks and a solution that still sucks, but isn't nearly as bad
As a baby trans just starting to transition, this hit hard. Realizing I'm trans at 23 has been equal parts liberating and terrifying. I've never felt as free as I do now, while equally feeling more trapped than ever before. It's a strange place to be... but I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm surrounded by amazing people, cis and trans, who are amazingly supportive and understanding. My husband is determined to stick it out with me, and it opened up the door to rebuild a relationship with a member of my family that I thought I'd lost forever. Some days are hard, some days are amazing, but... I'm finally me, and that's so much better than living a lie.
My 2 cents as a cis male:
Trans people and cis people have differences. And that’s ok. When we think about how we treat people in society, we should treat them with the designation that is represented in their heart, considering that trans people have so often been hurt and targeted in every single demographic.
Trans and cis people have their differences AND trans and cis people have the dignity inherent from being people. Every person has that dignity and your gender or sexuality, despite giving you different things to deal with, never negates that
Why? Why do you insist on doing that? There's literally no reason not to call people what they want to be called, besides being blatantly disrespectful to them.
You're not telling the truth by calling them what *you* want to call them. It's like a name change. Its not that hard to just respect somebody's preferred pronouns.
@@Herowebcomics Biologically, yes. They are born female/ male. But the thing is, if they want to be addressed as something different, It's not up to you to decide that for them, especially since they had no control over what sex they were born as. Sex is different from gender identity.
@Herowebcomics
There’s the disrespect again. You’re addressing somebody by a pronoun they don’t identify with. Wouldn’t you agree that it’s a bit rude to not call people what they want to be called? Even if it is their assigned gender at birth, they still deserve respect like any other human being, which includes respecting their pronouns and what they identify as.
@Herowebcomics are you trans? No. Do you know what it’s like? No. Well neither do I because I’m cis. But who gives a flying fuck on what people do with their bodies as long as they don’t hurt others or themselves? Trans people deserve the respect of being called by their proper pronouns because they are people no different to me or you. I hope that you never meet a trans person irl because you’re the worst kind of person to meet someone who’s gender identity differs from their biological sex. Please try and educate yourself so you can understand how people feel. God, the next thing you’ll tell me is that your homophobic too. Grow up
I knew I was trans since I was 8 and came out at 12. I'm 17 and still nowhere near where I want to be and it sucks ass.
Sadly transitioning does take a ton of time sometimes. Especially when you’re a minor and restricted by family, finances, and/or government. It’s super frustrating. I hope once you turn 18 things will get a bit easier and you can get the ball rolling on transitioning. Best of luck, you got this!
Herowebcomics but they wanna be a different sex? that’s kinda disrespectful to say they’ll never be the opposite gender lol
@@Herowebcomics so you've never felt dysphoria in your life, got it. Get fucked nobhead, I'm gonna change my body as much as I fucking please
Herowebcomics let people do what they wanna if it makes them happy.
@@Herowebcomics you need to learn how to not be a nob
My pain doesn't come from not being cis, surprisingly. I already had in mind that I would never be it.
The pain comes from the prejudice, the risk and all that. I live in Brazil, I mean, so coming out as trans can be a direct death sentence, literally.
Some months ago I came out to my parents, and they really didn't take it well, not at all, and that was when I opened my eyes to the fact that being trans means being possibly abandoned by the people who should care, means losing opportunities, facing danger, prejudice and all that. It really sucks, but it's truly living life in the "hard" mode, but I can't change what I am, or how I feel.
Transitioning means that I will become a really obvious target to violence and all, at least initially, and it might even be a death sentence as I said, but, at the same time, the more time I spend like I currently am (no transition), the more it hurts, the stronger dysphoria gets, to the point where I can't really live like this.
There's truly no good choice, it's either facing a stupidly big risk and possibly having most of my chances ruined and being abandoned by my entire family (literally everyone has prejudice, apart from 1-2 people), or living a life of pain and sadness (if that can at least be called living). All options will lead to a difficult life and a lot of suffering, all because of the simple fact of me being trans, because of the extreme prejudice there is in here. That's the greatest pain to me.
Desculpa por isso :(
Aqui no Brasil é complicado mesmo, eu tenho muito medo de qual seria a reação da minha família descobrissem que eu sou enby, seria um escândalo...
Isso porque ainda tem o fato de aqui der perigoso pra gente
Mas espero que no fim fique tudo bem com todos nós
@@saturnitx2327 Sabe, daquele tempo pra lá eu passei por muita coisa, mas deu tudo muito certo, apesar de ter levado um tanto absurdo esforço e persistência.
Hoje em dia eu moro sozinha em outra cidade, em outro estado, mas meus pais me apoiam, tanto emocional quanto financeiramente quando eu preciso (minha mãe decidiu realmente jogar fora o preconceito e verdadeiramente me apoia hoje em dia, é minha melhor amiga atualmente. Já meu pai... Bem, ele tá tentando, já melhorou bastante).
Eu consegui passar em uma universidade, também, na USP, pra ciência da computação. Passei 3 anos sacrificando minha vida social e minha saúde mental completamente pra conseguir, mas deu certo, e agora eu tenho uma oportunidade, um futuro, e uma rede de apoio bem ampla.
Com o tempo na transição, a gente termina ganhando passabilidade, também, e o preconceito diminui bastante, apesar de que ser mulher é simplesmente bem mais difícil que como homem, mas eu me sinto eu mesma, e não trocaria isso por nada no mundo.
Então assim, hoje em dia tô vivendo uma vida simples, porém feliz, e tô realmente satisfeita com o que eu alcancei. Agora eu tenho uma perspectiva de futuro e de vida muito boa, tenho alguns bons amigos, que me respeitam e me aceitam, e tenho segurança (porque comecei a passar como cis, mas eu sei que não é o caso de todo mundo).
Muitas vezes é difícil ver algo bom na vida sendo trans, mas se esforçando as coisas dão certo. Ainda tem chance, ainda tem esperança, não é um beco sem saída, nem morte certa, ainda bem.
Continua forte, que vai ficar tudo bem.
@@mayamonteiro8368eu te amo menina aleatória brasileira da internet
I'll probably never will understand trans and lgbtq people that are not the normal lesbian or gay. And everytime I try to understand, to find Videos explaining this experience, or asking directly through Forums or comment sections like this. I get more confused or directly shut down by offended or unexplainatory comments.
But your story, that you do not fear of not knowing who you are, but because of the danger that may lie when speaking the truth resonated with me. Maybe I'll never understand, but atleast I can find people's experiences and try to feel them.
@@rchaelk2319 @rchaelk2319 I don't think anyone truly knows who they are completely and without a doubt, and we shouldn't be scared because of that.
Questioning is part of growing, I mean, and hey, I appreciate you asking stuff, even if it's difficult to understand. Life as trans is definitely one of the most unconventional experiences out there lol, it's not easy to understand if you don't live it. We, too, also question ourselves all the time, just like cis people do, and we all arrive at different answers, decisions, and even different questions as a whole.
Because of that, every situation is different, every trans person is different, and the only thing set in stone is respect.
I'll never really understand people who get offended by questions and by others trying to learn, and I'm sorry you've had to go through that. That being said, though, I think I can offer some enlightenment on why this happens so much in the trans community.
You see, being trans means you're legitimately... Scared. All the time, in most interactions and places (some which you simply can't frequent, it's too horrifying), because attacks to our choices and questions and identities are just that common. We are simply scared to live.
We're scared of being ourselves and finding ourselves and asking our questions, and speaking our truth. Therefore, sometimes when people ask us about our way of life, our brain is kinda automatically wired to enter defense mode, you know? We already assume it's gonna be an attack, and thus we react accordingly, even if it's just someone trying to learn.
That or sometimes we ourselves are just confused, too, I mean, for to be trans is to question yourself and society and what truth even means, it's breaking a lot of paradigms, and society doesn't really like that, does it? Sometimes it's society that is scared of questions. I guess in the end maybe everyone is just so confused and afraid of trying to find themselves, and questions are scary indeed. Life is a strange thing lol
Anyway, what I mean is it is indeed confusing, and we are all scared and kinda lost. Not knowing who we are is an experience we all go through, it's just that we trans people are most often scared of trying to find that out, of being ourselves. There are a lot of arguments even among us, because the views of everyone are different, each one's questions and truths and identities are different.
We're simply scared to question, to be ourselves, to live. In the end all that matters is respect.
I hope this was helpful :>
i was not prepared to cry today
Aw yeah... I hope the video helped in one way or another though! You got this
The struggle of being non-binary is that there's no real hard goal. There's nothing to transition to, no statue of what an internationally recognised enby looks like, and though it's unbearably tough for trans men and trans women, at least people all agree that men and women exist. Enbies can't even guarantee that. There's no passing for me, until there's no longer a need to pass for any of us, and that's what I want to fight towards.
as a genderfluid person, this comment rlly said everything i could never articulate, thx :), for me there is no end goal as well, it’s impossibly difficult to think about hormones and surgery, because i may regret it, my mind is in a constant state of change, there is no genderfluid sex to take the blueprints from, i will never pass 100% of the time, and i don’t feel i need to anymore i just want it so the new generation doesnt have to feel confined to a representation of a sex or to passing, its horrible and takes away something that is yourself and only yourself
@@LOU-cm2nj We'll get there one day.
This! It's so hard to be enby sometimes, because unlike binary trans people, there's no default to look up to, you're like a custom character where you have to do every little detail yourself,there's no true genderlessness because everything is so gendered... I wish gender would be an option, rather than a default
@@moonbunnygw8342 i agree! i'm non binary too, and it's so hard to at least look gender neutral, because everything is SO gendered, and even when i try to look like neither it doesn't really work. all i can do is try to look androgynous, but the thing is, i don't feel like a mix of both. i don't want to be a mix of both or look like it. i'm outside of the scale, not in the middle of it. and you can't really achieve that. as you said - there is no default to look up to at all and i just have to figure out myself what people would think when they would first look at me. and most of the time they just assume instead of asking, and of course they don't even see "neither" as an option, so i constantly get misgendered. i agree, i wish gender wouldn't be a default. it makes everything so much harder for many people and at this point it's insane - even colors are gendered. so i hesitate before picking a pink hoodie from my closet, because let's say that day i have pe and cant have my binder on. "what if someone's gonna think i'm a girl?" i face this type of question all the time and i never know what to do about it. being an enby sucks. and obviously, you're never gonna be cis either.
yeah, i was joking once to a friend that if i was born afab I'd still be trans. but yeah thinking deeper into it it's just sad :\
Trans girl here, I needed this. when I first came out I expected to look like a normal girl a few months after telling my mum. Two years later, I was supposed to be starting HRT, but my appointment was postponed. I’m almost 16 and my appointment still hasn’t happened, and I’m too shy to ask my parents when it’s happening. It feels like time is against me and wants to permanently change my body in ways that will cause lifelong pain. I get more and more desperate each day, I feel like I’m growing into a self loathing monster beyond repair. I too, will never be cis. And my life can’t and won’t be the same as the cis people around me. But every little detail; a shopkeeper calling me ma’am from behind, or relating to a cis woman I know, is a speck of hope that one day I’ll grow into a woman I can accept.
@@PurplezzMusic the hell is your problem?
that last line is beautiful
Dear 16 year old sister of mine.
It will be okay. I started at the ripe age of 24. I’m 26 now and society “gets” it. So do my friends and loved ones. I’m not “othered” anymore.
Have faith in your body. It’s okay to have problems with it. I’ll have problems with mine for the rest of my life. Bones are bones after all for the most part. It doesn’t mean you can’t take care of it and love the only one you get all the same as you grow into the person you want to become!
Have faith in the ones you love and the one’s that truly love who you are. You’ll need them at some point or another and they need you. Don’t lose faith in the world. Most people are good. Ignorant to some degree. But good. Ignorance is just not knowing though and should be met with as much patience as we can muster.
Keep shining!
you're beautiful
I started at 22. You got this girl.
I am not trans but it was very enlightening to watch this video. It's important that cis people learn more about trans lives and know ways they can help. Thank you for making this animation. And whoever is reading this comment, it's going to be okay ☺️💕
It's already all obvious. We just shouldn't be transphobic. That's all.
@@0x6a09 Just when talking to people that are phobic to certain genders, or sexualities is just 2 things. Be a decent human bring, and put yourself in their shoes.
@@vam_ola I don't understand what do you mean.
I'm cis but this was on my recommended and you know what? I clicked this video. I clicked it because I want to know what most people in this comment section feel like. Maybe one day, I'll meet someone who isn't cis or maybe a relative or friends tells me. It's on that day, I'll be able to make them feel a little bit better by being there for them and understanding when a tiny bit of what they're going through.
I think more people need to be open to learn about things that, although they cannot relate to, help them understand those who relate to those topics.
I wish there were more cis people as open as you. Thank you for not only watching the video, but especially for listening. Anyone can watch a video, but it’s clear when someone tries to listen and better understand. I hope you have a great day/night! Thanks again :)
This is one of the only reasons I still love cis people (other than my boyfriend, I love him because he’s always been the first person to support me)
the same should say for people to know what it's like to have serious physical and mental health problems.
wow I wonder what my life would of been or could be like if I'm not bipolar. or what it would of been like growing up without behavioral issues and learning disabilities.
this is also why I clicked on this videos... as a cis person I'll never truly understand what trans people go through but atleast if I can support someone in any way, I'll try my best
Same
Thank you. I'm a cis female and I've always struggled to understand the struggles that transgender people go through after the transition. Not that i have to understand but i like to get an idea as to how others feel. I've had trans friends come over and just cry bc of things that sound small but I'd be there. I have a friend who wishes she could get pregnant but because she's trans she can't so we joke around saying "kids are expensive anyway" and that usually makes her laugh but in the back of my mind I think "why would she want to go through the pain required to have that child like menstruation cycles, the potentially for a miscarriage and further bodily charges?" But I never ask bc I'm scared I may offend her. As a woman who's never questioned my gender, I almost feel like I'm her guide into womanhood bc she asks me so much but I really don't know what to tell her. I do my best to just have her experience what it's like to be one of the girls but when she comes to me I feel like she's primarily asking if it's ok. If it's ok to do or be "like this". Almost as if she's asking for female validation from me. Idk how to explain it but this vid helped me understand why shes so conscious about herself and why she compares herself to other women so hard. I will always be there for her and I love her with everything I have.
Hi Dawn!
Wow, I am so impressed! What a great friend you are! She is beyond lucky to have you in her life!
I too am mtF, and would have loved to have a friend like you!
You are indeed her guide! Something I sorely wish I had years ago. Trans people miss so much in life growing up, it's almost impossible to "catch up", all the little (& big) things we never got to experience, this can leave us feeling very unsure of our selves.
We can be pretty sensitive to things, especially in the early year's of transition, but believe me, having someone like you to talk to and be safe with means the world to her!
Please don't ever think or feel scared that you might offend her, she might cry or be sad around subjects like in this video, but your understanding and friendship far.. Far... FAR!!! Surpasses any possibility of offense - in fact speaking for my self I could Never be offended by such a lovely friend.
Yes I am sure she looks to you for some validation... We didn't have parents / siblings/school/friends/boyfriends/dances etc.that helped validate us as girl's growing up. In fact just the opposite is usually true and this leaves an enormous hole in our psyche.
As in the video, being trans is very hard some days, and will be a life long issue, but with great friends like you, life can be wonderful, fulfilling, and full of love! (Its great to be a 👧 girl!)
God bless you Dawn!
Love Suzy!
As a closeted trans girl she literally spoke from her heart like this is so true 😭
@@efflorescentcrystal and she’s so right too. I’d put up with it all if I could have a baby.
I’m a trans man and hearing the line “you will never be cis” made me start sobbing. I’m only in middle school and I already hate being alive so much. All I want is to be cis. I don’t want to have to prove to people that I’m a man, I want to go through puberty as a man, I want to have the body type of a man, but I don’t. I don’t have a therapist right now so I don’t have anyone to talk to about my dysphoria. If I talk to my dad about it he just says that I need to be patient and if I talk to my mom she either tells me that now’s not the time to talk about it or yells at me because she thinks I’m getting it from the internet. Honestly I sometimes wish I was just getting it from the internet so I could just decide to be a cis girl. But I can’t. And it hurts so much.
I just want to be normal.
Sorry for ranting I just REALLY needed to get that out of my system.
@@Herowebcomics i tried.. and tried.. for 4 years.. but.. i cant... i am patient! Gosh i'm crying irl. I just wanna find the real me..
Dont worry man, even though this was 1 year ago I still want you to know that you can do it! I believe in you and to try and think positive. I know its hard to deal with but I can relate to you on so many levels, just stay strong. You got this. 😄💗💗
Oh my gosh, I feel this on a different level!
You have my full support because I’m trans.
There is indirect bullying towards trans and gay people at my school. It makes me so mad that it makes my parents think I’m getting bullied when I’m just hearing stuff towards people like me.
I already had to defend my bisexual friend today, he gets bullied a lot. I’m still fighting for a gender neutral bathroom in our school.
And these kids are brutal.
I’m here if you ever want to talk.
I know this comment took place a year ago, but I just felt like I needed to say this. I hope things are looking up for you now, and if they’re not that’s ok. Change takes time. Just know that as long as you are being true to yourself and you are ok with who you are, you can endure and you can thrive. This journey will be tough, but stand strong. You can do it :)
I am so sorry to here that brother. I am a trans woman in high school, and I understand your pain. We are all in this together as siblings, and it may be hard, but hang in there. 🏳️⚧️❤️
Not even trans, thought this was about switching realities
Oh! Well it’s a bit different from that haha. Hope you liked or gained something from the video regardless! Have a great day/night :)
yeah same lol
I just got outed to my dad today and i really needed this video, i kept thinking about how i wish i could just be cis and how much this sucks but this video really helped.
Oof... that SUCKS. Like dang. I hope you’re doing alright now. Just take things easy and stay as safe as possible. I’m glad the video helped too. And try to remember that things will get better with time
Herowebcomics
Please, do your research before you comment something like that.
Herowebcomics
What proof do you have for those absurd claims. I have talk to an actual medical professional to get help with my dysphoria. And being transgender is not a lifestyle. It's not a choice in the first place. Dysphoria is an actual medical condition. None of it is a choice. if it was a choice, none of us would be dysphoric. Dysphoria is horrible, and millions of people deal with it on the daily. Myself included. Now please, do real research. And think about what you say before you type instead of being mindless about it.
Herowebcomics
Please, leave religion out of this. And being transgender, non-binary, and having dysphoria, it's not a fear of others. But religion has no say in this. You unnecessarily dragged into it. And yes I have seen medical professionals. Dr. Heidi Rhodes to be specific. No stop brainlessly typing on the Internet trying to prove a point which is obviously wrong. Do your own legitimate research. And religion and anything associated with it does not count as research. And if you don't believe in transgender and non-binary people existing, leave us alone.
Herowebcomics
OK we are now just going in circles. Nothing about being transgender is a choice. We don't choose to have a disassociation with our biological sex. I'm done arguing with someone that is refusing facts. Millions of people are transgender and non-binary. I'm giving you a link to a website that explains what transgender is and what it all means. Read it if you want. Remember all the information I have displayed to you in this slew of comments, is coming from someone underneath the transgender umbrella. And from someone that has seen multiple medical professionals. Now please, stop mindlessly arguing on the Internet to prove some impossible point. And maybe spend time with family or friends.
www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/transgender
My little brother is transgender, as the last cisgender son of the family I've always wanted to have a lil bro.
Me and my family completely accept him and we're trying to help him with the procedures he needs too feel comfortable with his body.
how old is your little brother?
@@retrogott8531 since when did age matter he can be who he wants to be
@@valeria.cristal.franco Indeed. Even at 9 months, Mr. Manipulator. Are you proud of being part of this demonic agenda?
@@valeria.cristal.franco there are freaks that assume kids can be trans and put them in hormone theraphy. A kid doesn't know their gender for sure, not until they're done with adolescence where their gender and hormones finish developing. Same reason why a kid can't vote; they aren't old enough to be certain that they think isn't something they were taught by their parent's political opinions, instead of it being their own decision. The same goes for gender identity. You can't be a hundred percent sure that kid isn't just influenced from some online platform or just wants to try wearing a dress when they're a boy. An adult can choose, but a kid? No.
@@valeria.cristal.franco Children cannot consent to being "trans". They are KIDS. Age matters more than anything when it comes to this.
I’m transmasc as well, and I look so feminine and being perceived as a female all the time by family, friends, and teachers hurts alot. even though nearly all my friends are also trans/non-binary and they know my preferred name and pronouns, it really hurts knowing I won’t be a cis-man. To all the trans people out there, I hope you keep moving forward and stay positive. Good luck all my transgender friends ❤️
Hey I am also transmasc and if you ever want to chat I got Instagram so yeah
Stay strong, man. Maybe try acheiving a more masculine appearance?
womp womp, go do something productive in your life
@@theoslegos2034yeah, how about instead of replying to tens of comments on youtube you take your own advice buddy
@@dudu28r81 ... lol nice try biotch,i only have 6 comments on their channel,include the two on this comment thread
Thanks for making this, I feel like many needed to hear this-
It’s going to be rough, but you can do it, I believe in you, we all believe in you ❤️
Of course :) I'm glad to help out. Definitely not a topic many talk about, but I think some (like myself when I was younger) need to hear it
Yeah I remember these types of talks. It takes a lot longer than you want it to. What you need to learn is patience. It was so hard. Getting constantly told that it doesn't happen overnight got me pissed but I had to learn to accept it. This is the hard reality. I'm a few months on T and have had top surgery, im thankful for my journey and the ability to say ive gone through these struggles. It makes me the person who I am today, and I wouldn't change the experience for the world.
The hell is "T"?
This is a difficult and important reality to realize and the fact that you've taken the time to attempt to explain this means more than anything. This is something people should talk about more. Recently, a great friend of mine who was in the middle of transitioning with HRT left this world by her own choice because of how difficult it is to go through with something like that. She thought it was all too much and that she'd rather be at peace in death than in life. Each and every one of you should know that this feeling is able to be beaten and you should face it with strength and conviction rather than resignation. Know that you're gonna feel better than you do now if you put in the devotion to being you rather than an image of yourself you prefer. Know that it is more worth it to work to a better end than to give up. Know that you are supported and loved. Know that you are allowed to feel. And please, PLEASE know that you are able to talk about it.
Thank you so much for sharing about your friend. I know others out there who feel like they can't or shouldn't talk about/express how they're feeling. To the extent that it becomes too much. I hope you too are doing okay and staying safe.
@@PhoenixAnimations Thanks, and same to you. I and all of her friends and family are part of a huge, wonderful community of artists and creators and have been helping each other to remember her fondly.
My nephew recently came out as trans and chose the name "Phoenix" - not really relevant but this was a really sweet animation and I hope he watches it. Good life advice in general to be fair.
@not gelato Pfft-
:0 I chose the name raven
cool ass name
While this has not been my experience it’s so important that I hear it. I want to understand other trans people. In all the many versions we come in.
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen and better understand. I wish more people would make this effort
3:46 OH MY GOD, IS THAT A HITCHHIKER’S REFERENCE!?
Oh heck yeah! That's one of my favorite books. Used to read it all the time as a kid. Glad to see the reference was spotted haha
I smiled forty-too! =D
I too would like to share my appreciation of all fellow Hitchhikers. Also, this was really touching, and I really appreciate your channel.
Remember your towel :(
I meant to type :) but I can't edit on Kindle
My friend started transitioning recently, its gonna be hard for him because there will be a lot of complications with school and where hes staying and all of that so this helps me see kinda what hes going through and what he has to go through in the future too without me fearing that i may offend him or hurt him by asking
You’re being an awesome and supportive friend :)
I'm a trans woman, and I can't even get to an in person therapist because of where I live. I know how hard this whole thing will be. Despite that, it always hurts to know that I will never be cis. That I can never have these things that people find so trivial. That I can never be who I truly wish I could be. It feels like hell sometimes and I have had full breakdowns where I wouldn't even get out of bed for days because I felt so dysphoric. I just sometimes wish that wasn't my reality, but it is. I accept that. I can only try to make it a little better with time.
I wish this world was more accepting and understanding. Stay strong, everyone. It will all work out eventually. ❤️
"You will never be cisgender"
... I was not ready for that, and I wish I was born a cisgender girl every day. I think that... hearing it from you made it all the more real.
i’m out to my mum and most close friends but i’m slowly mustering up the courage to come out to the rest of my family so I can hopefully start medically transitioning and socially transition some more. I really hope that this goes well and I can see a therapist to help figure out what I really want going ahead.
Yo that’s great! Remember to come out at your own pace because this is your journey :) stay safe and stay you
It's really sad that people bully transgender people, if only they knew what struggles they go through.
It's just because they hate us, hate is brought from love, when you are thought by someone you love to hate a minority group, you will and most likely you'll hate that group for the rest of your life. You'll refuse to show any kindness to a person who has never wronged you. That's how transphobes origin and is why we're in the situation we are.
This is exactly what I'm struggling with right now, and it's just so hard especially when no one really supports me. Most days, I just can't see a reason to keep living, and I feel like nobody cares.
Hey there. I hope you’re doing a bit better since you commented. I’ve found that the online community can actually be a very supportive space (if you find the right group of course). Even on this channel there has been a great group of followers who are super amazing and supportive. Please just remember you are not alone. Stay safe
@@PhoenixAnimations it makes me feel better just to be noticed at all. My parents like to pretend that none of this is happening, so it's really nice to have people in the world that talk about this sort of thing. It makes me remember that in the future, there will be people that will support me, and your videos are just really helpful to me. So I guess thanks for that.
@Raegan òwó yeah of course. I’m glad to help out in any way possible. Plenty more videos to come too, so I hope to see and talk to you on those videos for updates on how you’re doing as well.
Hang in there, it will get better. When I first came out, nobody supported me either. Just remember there are solutions out there, and every day you make it through, you are one day closer to them. Eventually I found community that accepted me, my insurance covered most of my transition, and that was from 2006-2010. Today more insurance policies then ever are covering trans related care. Start with a good therapist. They can help in way more ways than you’d expect. What does Cis have that’s so great anyway? Trans people get to see the world from a viewpoint most never will. We see both sides of society, and can call them all out on their bullshit. We just gotta stick together, we’ll get there.
Herowebcomics Fuck you with a god damn cactus! You are disgusting saying this to someone struggling with this.
Don’t listen to this asshole. There are always going to be horrible people in the world. You can rise above them.
"You will never be cisgender"
Most of me: "Yeah I know that"
Part of me: "Uh, yeah right"
Exactly!! That’s what I was thinking years ago when my therapist said that to me. It’s weird how hearing someone else say it makes it feel more... real
@@PhoenixAnimations yeah it feels more real to know someone else felt that way as well lol I secretly feel like if I try hard enough I'll be a cis dude
"You will never be cis gender"
Me at 44, first realizing it: "Oh f*ck…". My therapist said those words to me too and I had no clue how to process it at first.
Me, starting transition as I near 50, after 5 years of processing and slowly reaching acceptance (while labelling myself as genderqueer or non-binary as I sorted myself out): "Sounds good as long as I never have to pretend to be a cisgender man again…. That’s just pure misery. Haters can just kiss my Amazonian build trans butch *ss. After a half century of faking being cis, I am exhausted and all outta f*cks to give. Sure, being born a cis woman would have been better in theory but I don’t think I would be me anymore either…. Me includes being trans."
I think the idea of never being cis hits differently at different ages. As an older trans person, worn out by trying to be cis, I already knew at a very visceral level that I would never be a cis woman but the relief at no longer trying to be a cis man was incredible. My life has never been weirder, true, but it’s also never been happier.
@@paranoidrodentI’m glad you found yourself, hope you’re doing good
I've spent so many nights dreaming about those one-time transition pills. I've spent so many nights coming to peace with all the drawbacks of never being cis.
And yet the pain is deeper than any physical pain could ever be. It casts an overwhelming shadow on the perspective of post transition life, which should be the ultimate paradise.
And the worst part is that there isn't even anyone to blame. You just happened to come out wrong. No refunds.
im a trans dude and am at the beginning of my transition. i definitely needed to see this video. i spend a lot of time ignoring the fact that im trans and even keep it from my good friends online, partially from not wanting to talk about it because most of the time it turns into a conversation i dont want to have, and partially because of internalized transphobia from my childhood. hearing what this video had to say hit hard and i cant lie about that, but its something i needed to hear. i need to come to terms with the fact that im never going to be cisgender. i shouldnt be hiding being trans. i should stand proud and see it in myself that im just another human who wants to live the way he wants to, and i shouldnt be hiding my real self just because im "different".
thank you for the video.
I identify as a trans male but I still can’t come out because of family issues. I hope I can at some point. I’m 18 and have felt this way for at least 7 years. Your videos give me hope that someday I can transition and feel better about who I am. This video was heavy but I needed to hear it, just like you needed to hear those words from your therapist all those years ago.
Ah so sorry I'm getting to this comment so late, but now I am very curious if you ever did end up coming out to your family and how it went? I'm sure a lot has happened since a year ago, so I hope you are doing well and staying safe since posting this. Your kind words still make me smile to this day knowing how helpful this video was for you back then :)
So what is your biological sex then?
How the heck did you make me feel so many emotions in such a short space of time
Not being cis hurts and I think its gonna take till the end of my transition to actually accept that I'll never be cis and to be grateful I'm trans atm however it's hard I'm starting e this month however so I hope I can feel comfortable to be proud soon
Ay that’s great you’re starting E! Congratulations! Thanks for watching. I know it’s a really hard concept to accept, but I appreciate you sharing and the kind words. Congrats again and have a great day/night
I just think understanding is such a big help. That’s honestly why I’m on this channel. Your stories are really inspiring but most of all it help me understand what trans people go through. Understanding is such a important part of our society so every day I try to learn a little more, as to not judge a person without understanding their struggles
Aww thank you so much for watching and supporting my channel. I wish there were more people like you who took the time to learn and try to understand :) but especially I thank you for listening and hearing us. Hope you have a wonderful day/night!
That one sentence, "you will never be cisgender" hurt to hear but words we all need to hear
I am proud to be Transgender
As someone who used to think they were trans, this reminds me of how lucky I am to not actually be trans
I’m glad you’ve found our more about yourself! Totally okay if you find out you weren’t trans.
I think everyone, even cis people, should think hard about their own gender and really consider if it's right for them. Experiencing gender with intent means to have a greater understanding of yourself, as well as others.
@@PurplezzMusic like seriously, what the hell is your problem being mad at people who arent even talking to you??
I know this comment is from 2 years ago, but supposed you were cis but had the same characteristics than you did before transition due to being intersex or similar, would you have felt equally Dysphoric about them? Or would the idea ‘I have breasts and/or will never experience things most guy do, but at least I am cis’ actually helps make you feel less Dysphoric about them?
This showed me a completely different perspective. I myself am a cis woman, but as a pan i belong to the LGBT and also have many trans friends. However never have i ever acknowledged, how we cis people don't realize what we have as much as now. Even tho you sorta know that, you never really think about it that much as a cis person. Until you hear that deep harsh reality. Reality that's not just "well yeah, you they won't be able to have kids, but with all those surgeries they'll pass as that gender - happy ending". But it's rarely talked about this issue really into detail that it's not just a person getting surgeries and then it forever fixing their dysphoria, trans people still experience it and will most likely experience it for the rest of their lives. I already felt the "You'll never be cis" and i can't imagine how heart breaking that must be for a trans person hearing that. The more mad I get when I stumble over people trying to debunk trans issues as if being trans, getting surgery, taking hormones that permanently change your voice and many more aspects, is a choice out of wanting attention. Yes there will be always people like that, but none of them would go this far because transitioning as a cis gender would cause dysphoria. Also I think it shouldn't at all be looked at if cis or not, trans person being transgender doesn't make them less of that gender, so society shouldn't force anyone to feel this way about a thing trans people clearly can't achieve and change
It's not compassionate to encourage trans people and engage in lies with them. Help them accept the truth. Help them be stronger in their own bodies. Don't lie to them and tell them that they should be the opposite gender that they are. Lies hurt. Stop hurting people.
@@lexbaldwin5613 Well, if they want to look like that, it's their choice.
But i'll agree that some surgeries are better to avoid.
@@0x6a09 just because something is someone's choice doesn't mean that it's good. We don't encourage self harm or ending one's life, even though those things are a choice.
@@lexbaldwin5613 But those surgeries aren't harming them much. Even though i agree that they shouldn't be overused.
@@0x6a09 they're permanently mutilating.
Damn I did not know it was that hard.
I have thought time to time that “perhaps it would be better if I was a boy”, i genuinely thought that my female body was a curse and i hated it. As i grew a bit older - and as I expected - it was just a *phase* of sorts (idk how to word it). All that’s important for me now is that I’m happy being cisgendered, and I don’t want to be a boy anymore.
I’ve never spared a thought for those who stuck with it, those who this really affects their lives. I kinda feel guilty for treating it as a phase, and for thinking that for others it was the same too. I know better now (and before I watched this vid tbh).
And I know I’m gonna sound like that one European in the chat, but on top of dealing with all the gender malarkey, you have to save up medical funds *just to pay.* I don’t think that’s fair at all, at least some of it should be subsided, smh.
I wish you all the best mate!!!
[UPDATE: it wasn’t phase, I just didn’t have a way of describing my disconnect with my gender not quite being a girls and rarely ever feeling masc. I am NON-BINARY. Which is cool. Never felt comfortable with being cis, felt like a betrayal even back then I just thought I had to bite the bullet and deal with my reality of being born AFAB]
good on you for figuring the update out! yeah, I can heavily relate to thinking being AMAB was a curse. in a fucked up subconscious way, I saw male privilege as like a shitty consolation prize for not being real people. all the time as a kid I'd be like "if only I were doing this as a girl, that'd make more sense", but then my "rational" mind would be like "actually, you shouldn't want to be a girl because their lives are harder, you're crazy and sexist for thinking this". I could only interpret the deep discomfort with my body as a manifestation of an underlying perversion from a disgusting "male mind". I stripped away my entire personality and replaced it with a robotic series of coping mechanisms in a trenchcoat, becoming distant and disconnected from reality
that seems to be common. those moving from girlhood to women hood and the uneasy path of puberty. in highschool for some reason i was so hung up on not wanting some kind of "sexy hipswaying womanly gait" and I don't remember how I felt about breasts, as they were "to small" .
"You'll never be cis"
Yep. Every now and then I'll think about how I never got to be a little girl, I never got to play with dolls, I never got to have a sleepover with the other girls, I never got to do so many things that are considered ubiquitous to the girl experience-and, just like you said, it breaks my heart every time I remember that I can't get pregnant. I want to get pregnant so bad, but I know that the only way it'll happen is if a dozen things I have little to no control over all go perfectly and all within the next 30 years (in other words, it's just not gonna happen). I still love being trans, I don't think I would choose to have been born a cis girl if I could... but that doesn't mean it's a perfect existence.
I didn't find out I was a girl until I was already a woman. I'll... never have the childhood I deserved. I keep finding myself trying to reclaim it at least a little bit-buying stuffed animals and things like that-but I know I'll never get to go back. I'm just... picking up the pieces as best I can.
But, to circle it back to more positive stuff... I think that I just wish I had figured it out sooner, not that I wish I was born cis. Gender euphoria is a wonderful feeling-ever since I experienced it for the first time three years ago, that spike of sheer joy and elation and excitement and comfort is just as potent as it ever was. I don't think I'd appreciate my femininity, my beauty, nearly as much if I had been born into it. I've fought long and hard for this body, and I'm enjoying it to the fullest! I'm 16 months on HRT, and I'm already more beautiful than I could have ever imagined-my breasts, my curves, my face, my butt, my hair... it's all just so beautiful! I love my body, every last part of it! Yeah I still get dysphoria sometimes (my voice and shoulders mainly), but I'm finally in a body I feel comfortable in! My depression has been CURED, as far as I'm concerned! My therapist once told me that I shouldn't dwell on what could have been since what I have now is still pretty great-and y'know what? She's right! I'm a woman through and through, and I love it! Sure my childhood may have been a trash fire, but I have risen from the flames as a beautiful phoenix! Like yeah, it would've been nice to have grown up as a girl (especially since I remember showing signs as early as 6 y/o), but y'know what-I'm a woman now, and that's pretty fuckin' great! 😊
103 likes and no dislikes the video isn't even out yet :D
I liked too
Right! At 89 now. Super excited for this video to get out too. Thank you both @Star Butterfly Diaz and @pearsinator for supporting my video!
@@PhoenixAnimations OMG I can't believe you replied. We love and support you \(^-^)/
@@heather9526 Of course :) I try my best to respond haha. Have a great rest of your day/night!
@@PhoenixAnimations thx I hope you have a great day too
I have a younger afab sibling who experiences discomfort with her assigned gender and her body, similar to dysphoria. She's still in the stage of figuring things out, so she still uses she/her pronouns. We have looked at unisex names together and made a lil list. And I'm planning on buying her a gc2b binder for her birthday :)
I wanted to thank you for making these informative videos. They help me with being a supportive sister.
Awwww you’re being such an amazing sibling! Thank you for listening and watching these videos to better understand what you’re sibling is going through. It’s so heartwarming to hear that you are there for support and help along the way :) additionally, if you can think of any video topic ideas I can discuss that may help, feel free to suggest them here!
@@PhoenixAnimations thank you for responding to my comment :)
I'll definitely comment if I or my sibling come up with any video ideas!
I’m cis and trying to learn more about what trans people experience both day to day and long term. This is so far the most eloquent, bittersweet, and enlightening video I’ve seen about transitioning and living as a trans person in a world mostly stacked against them. Please keep doing what you’re doing
Thank you so much for the kind words. I make these videos as a way to share my experience, and it’s a breath of fresh air when I see cisgender people watch them to better understand what trans people are going through. Thank you for watching and especially for listening :) much appreciated
people wasting their teenage years waiting to transition
👇
Don't waste dude
fr. from age 12 I tried to transition but was forced to wait until I was 20. that waiting is devastating and the damage puberty did to me in that time is irreversible...
tbh the thing is I'm fine with being trans, I never wanted to be cis or a cis guy, I'm kinda nonbinary but also trans masc. I don't plan on getting bottom surgery but I'll get top and T. So like eh it's not too big of a deal for me.
That’s all good too! Every transition process is different :)
I'm the same way
Maxskellington Yeah, that’s me too.
Maxskellington Same with me, I identify as a Demi boy :D
It will never be NOT a big deal! Your whole body changes! It's a BIG step!
And it's also VERY difficult to find a Psychologist and endocrinologist who are WITH you in that.
Sincerly: A transgender who's in theraphy and living male since spring last year!
"Fine with being trans"... Yeah VERY EASY! Not to be normal and DECIDE to go this way because you cannot hide behind masks and mannerisms forever before you'll finally give up.
Biggest bs I've read today. TF
I had no idea that gender was such a big thing. I've never considered how everything is segregated as "for men" and "for women", from clothes all the way down to food brands or drinks. It's insane how different our biologies are (XX and XY) and how being born into a body with an unmatched sex can be so difficult.
To all trans people reading this, you're so strong! Remember you're no less than anyone else and deserve the treatment you need! 💙❤☁❤💙
Actually the Y-chromosome does very little. It is more of an innitiator of the sex differentiation process towards maleness. Also important for keeping sperm funtional. But that is pretty much it. The physical bit of masculinisation of a foetus is handled by testosterone and anti-mullerian hormone. Have some insensitivity to those and you will come out as something in between in a very physical way.
You have the genes to grow boobs, a larger voice box/longer cords (Deeper voice), adams apple (I'm amab and have no apple, my friend is afab and has a huge one, go figure), body hair, hips (Bones are mostly fused after a certain age) but you can still get fat in the right places, fat/water distritution, etc etc, regardless of sex chromosomes.
Someone can f.inst inherit their boob genetics from their father. So you get huge knockers just like grandma on your dads side had, instead of the little mounds your mom has. It's just that good ol dad never ran on estrogen but on testosterone so those boobs never developed.
So since we are all essentially something in between you can hack your body and make it run in the other mode. Ofc, that junk configuration you ended up with after all that stuff in the womb is hard to entirely change, but stuff happens down there as well in response to hormones. Be ftm and you do get a tiny little thingy complete with head, shaft and foreskin and inside your labia more scrotum like wrinklyness will appear. Fascinating stuff. And ofc the feminine penis. Smells and tastes like girl junk (Like clean junk, not if you got some problem or infection down there), is softer, more delicate and sensitive. It basically turns into a huge clit. And the area between your butthole and junk becomes more puffy and girl like.
If you are say immune to testosterone due to wonky receptors then you come out as a girl despite being 46XY. Only non girl part is your gonads that became testes instead of ovaries. But you have a vagina, a womb and all that. You can even get pregnant if you use a donor egg. They are the most feminine of all people since they will never get any masculine features. No little lady stache at 40 since they are immune to androgens.
Heck, they found a womb inside a father or four during a hernia operation. He never knew since it did not cause any discomfort or problems. Makes you think how many intersex people there really are.
@@schnizzyfizz7832 Woah, that's fascinating! Thanks for helping educate me on that.
@@Herowebcomics ok I'm not going to argue because that won't make you listen. So, instead, how about you just think. Who's it hurting? If it makes them feel happier, who's it hurting? If all they're asking is for respect and help, does that really impact your day to day life? Is seeing a trans flag in your feed going to cause you a mental breakdown? No? Then just live and let live.
@@Herowebcomics bruh you're saying a medical diagnosis doesn't exist but God does. Ok 😑
@@Herowebcomics their body their choice, I don't tell you how to live or who to love so don't act like you need to have full control on what someone else does. The world doesn't revolve around your religion
this makes me hate transphobes even more. god..
You are all so strong and amazing people.
I am not trans, but I will always support you.
@Trippy Lenny thank you for supporting us :) hope you have an awesome rest of your day/night
How is your awful life decision our fault?
Transphobes? You mean... Normal people? You hate over 98% of the planet?
But you're the tolerant and loving ones ye?
@@milchi5122 exactly!
"It's your fault I can't MAGICALLY change my sex" No one can!
People acting like this is some rpg game and can change their skin color and EVERYTHING
@Milchi @@elgatochurro Thanks guys. You two raging about your own misunderstandings of the original comment (they specifically said they're not trans lol) and strawmen helps everyone see how silly you are. And yes, being tolerant and loving requires fighting against intolerance and hate; it's mildly paradoxical, but most people seem to understand the concept.
You know... If I've learned anything from being trans, is that I don't want to be cis, I wouldn't be the person I am today, and I would probably turn out just as transphobic as my parents if I was afab, sure I would go through all the things girls go through, but it wouldn't matter, I wouldn't feel that rush of euphoria and happiness every time I get referred to as she because it wouldn't mean anything. Call me a freak, a weirdo, an anomaly, an aberration from the norm, those labels don't hurt. The biggest insult I could receive is being called normal.
I feel exactly the same girl!
I’m not trans and cannot really relate to most of this but wow I can’t even imagine how hard it is to go through some of the things you go through. Please know that I completely support you and wish you the very best ❤️
Thank you for watching and especially for listening :) your support is very much appreciate 🖤🤎❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
I’m not exactly sure what gender I am or what kind of changes I want to make. But I’m here to tell you all: Stay strong, and don’t be afraid to be who you really are!
I wish I could transition it’s been years and I feel like I’m standing in place
One day you will be able to :) nonetheless, that doesn’t mean right now isn’t extraordinarily difficult. Please stay safe and stay strong. You got this.
@@PhoenixAnimations Ya know I really really want to transition, but I feel scared and alone. I don't know what to do. Do you know how it's like or anything because like... I am just so scared of transitioning because of all the drama and hate in the world towards people who want to transition. I think a lot about this and it hurts so much to be honest.
This video is an emotionally moving masterpiece.
Oh wow! That's such a nice comment of you to say - Thank you for sharing that :)
I'm not going to lie. There's a lot I don't understand about the idea of wanting to go trans, or not feeling right in your body, or about the pain of not being cis. Maybe some things I will never understand. But what I do know, is that people should be able to do what makes them happier. I don't get a lot of what's behind it, but if this is what makes people feel more like themself and it doesn't hurt anyone else, I guess it's for the better.
Well, they just see their body as ugly. Or not really ugly, but not appropriate for them.
Well its not really that anyone "wants to go trans" its more like people just being born trans. Really nice comment tho. Some people dont understand that you dont have to understand you just have to try your best to empathize and accept people for who they are.
@@0x6a09 It’s not a case of feeling you look ugly or deformed (the psychological discomfort associated with that is body dysmorphia, not gender dysphoria). Male presenting me looked pretty good when I was in shape… moderately handsome in photos from a few years back…. But it never looked like me. Imagine that a perfectly ordinary stranger who kind of looks like a gender swapped version of you is what you see in the mirror every day and what everyone else sees. Imagine how fake you feel trying to live this familiar stranger’s life, like an actor playing a role… always in character, never allowed to get off the stage…. Never just being you. It does awful things to your mental health. I started transitioning at nearly 50, after decades of suppressed dysphoria eating away at me and you know what happened? Almost everyone who knew me was astonished at how there was a cheerful, motherly woman hiding in the melancholy, bitter man they’d known. My 72 year old retired army officer dad (who was a bit floored by my coming out) was grinning at me just two months later saying he couldn’t remember ever seeing me so constantly happy and that it was a hell of a nice change. I’ll never be cis but you know what? I never was in the first place and trying to be was slowly destroying me. I didn’t choose "to go trans". I just accepted what I always was and decided to try being happy instead of more socially acceptable. I stopped living my life for the benefit of others. This actress found her way off the stage and retired the grumpy middle aged man character.
@@paranoidrodent body dysmorphia is almost always part of gender dysmorphia (at least, i think so), most trans don't like being in their bodies. Even though, like you just said, the idea society gets of them is more important for them? I don't know. I'm not a trans.
@@0x6a09 Body dysmorphia alone is an obsession with perceived defects or flaws that others cannot see and has no specific link to gender. A BD diagnosis alone will not help you medically transition. In fact, I got misdiagnosed with it initially (anxiety, undiagnosed autism and an old-fashioned therapist who thought of gender as binary = confused therapist) and literally denied a chance to transition in the past.
Gender dysphoria’s symptoms and diagnosis criteria all revolve around gender and the sex of the body. I imagine a combined diagnosis could occur for people who get so worried about physically passing that they start seeing flaws in their appearance that simply aren’t there to anyone else but most dysphoric body complaints are reasonable concerns related to passing and social acceptance (including safety). They don’t necessarily go hand in hand since, yes, we can have objectively reasonable concerns about our appearance that are no more psychologically disordered than those of a cis person wanting cosmetic surgery. Not everyone get fixated on single features to the point of disorder.
just a friendly reminder that you do not need to medically transition to be trans
you're enough ❤️
but if you do want to transition, i really hope you're able to ❤️ stay strong
whilst i do appreciate that saying someone doesn't need medical transition to be happy it's important to remember that some people do have bodily dysphoria that's very difficult and can only really be helped by these treatments. i don't think it's the right choice for all transgender people i agree, but for some i think it's needed
how common is it non transitioned people get the lover. if I were a man and know hrt and surgery can never give me the look I want (because if I could have a new body I don't know what I'd want. who I should look like) that a cis gay man would want sex with me. because I look like a female.
@@miracledinner2244 cis people get that too
@@miracledinner2244 body dysphoria is actually better helped by gender affirming hormones (giving males testosterone; giving females progesterone). Stop lying and saying the only way to help is permanent mutilation.
@@kaiyodei I was kind of surprised at how little starting transitioning lowered how many people I attract (if anything it slightly increased interest) but it definitely caused my dating pool to shift. I started mingling more in queer and trans friendly spaces. Other trans people started seeming more relatable to and attractive, as did NB, genderqueer and fluid folks and some bi and pan cis individuals seem to find trans folks at least as appealing as other cis folks since they tend to be comfortable with human bits in general (and there are the chasers but they creep me out). I ended up dating another trans woman and the way the two of us just understand and are good at avoiding triggering each other’s dysphoria (and reinforcing the euphoria) is something amazing. My advice would be to not sweat the cis gay dudes in particular and look at the broader queer community. As a non-transitioned individual, someone who is bi/pan/omni/polysexual and/or non-cis is way more likely to just like and accept you for who you are.
Not sure why I'm surprised I got incredible anxiety and sadness after clicking a video titled the harsh reality of transitioning
Hey. You ARE a boy. No matter if you aren’t tall or something. You are a boy. So continue living your best life you short king 💪🏻
My boyfriend is trans and I like watching these videos to try and understand more of what trans people go through this was really helpful and informative thank you
you’re a great partner. it would mean a lot to him if you told him you did this
I'm not trans but I'm still on the verge of tears for some reason. Imagining having to fight your whole life to fit in the identity you want sounds deliberating and being told "you'll never be cis" even felt heavy for me. I just wanna let you all know you're so so valid and just because you're a little different doesn't make you any less of a boy/girl. I love you!!!!
💙💗🤍💗💙 Thank you @Weirdo Brotato for your support :)
I wanna get there and I’m willing to go through it to get happy. It’ll take time. It’s harsh, it’s bitter but it’s goin to be okay in the end. Thank you for letting me know this and letting me have a valid reason to cry
Of course. And it’s totally okay to cry just because too :)
That’s a new perspective for me. I’m non-binary, so my identity is based on the fact that I’m not cis and will never want to be, but hearing these words still gave me a little more hope for the future.
I wouldn't say that's what being nonbinary is based on. I'm nonbinary myself and so wish that I either could be born sexless and be cis, or if I just didn't have dysphoria and could be happy as a cis person.
I'd advise not giving that impression to people when it is in fact possible for nonbinary people to wish they were cis 😅
(note: not saying every nb person wishes to be sexless! that's not the only way to have a nonbinary-sexed body)
Hearing all this only made me more confident with my choices, thank you ! Somehow, not being cis learned me so much and in a way, made me stronger
It's a harsh battle and I'm still learning today ! My last lesson was that it's okay to have fears about all this. It doesn't make you less valid !
As you said, it will be worth it ! Maybe I won't be cis but I know that that long battle will bring me to a point when I will live in my body and no longer survive and treat it as a burden
Rant over, good video !
Yo I’m so glad you found the video helpful! That’s great to hear. Definitely agree that it’s okay to have fears too (I actually was just working on a video for that exact topic!). Hope you have a great rest of your day/night!
Dear trans men: You are JUST as much of a man as a cis man, even before you start transitioning or come out.
Dear trans women: You are JUST as much of a woman as a cis girl, even before you start transitioning or come out.
Dear gender fluid and non-binary people: You don't have to be some perfect androgynous being to be the gender you identify as. You can be feminine or masculine and still be gender fluid/non-binary
Dear all trans people: If you identify as a gender, YOU ARE THAT GENDER. Never feel like you are less than a cis person. You are stronger than us and you are oh so beautiful. I wish you all the best transition journey possible ♡
I'd argue trans people are more their gender than cis people ever will be because we've had to very carefully consider and work for every aspect of it in the way that they never will
I mean, identifying as female won’t give me D cup breasts and make me 5’4”, so even though I know what I really am inside, doesn’t change the fact that I still go through hell most days.
umm no. it's okay to identify as a trans. You don't need to force yourself into being a man or a woman cuz you'll never be. You'll always be a trans. Learn to love your body and understand that just because you aren't a man/woman, doesn't mean that you're not "valid".
@@zenfae8373 there's so much you do not understand about the experience that we go through. It's not about learning to love our bodies, it's about making our bodies something we can love. If i could just, with hard work, love myself how i was, even though would be the easy path, i would not.
Our experiences make us, and my experience as someone who has gone through something a cis person never will, makes me myself. We are the sum of our parts, and my transness is one of those parts.
I love myself alright, i just won't call myself something i am not, a man. I am a girl, and i've always been a girl, and though my body is wretched, i continue on, that's more that enough proof of the love i hold for myself. The one who does not love, is just you.
@@Spookatz. lol that was kinda poetic ngl.
But then lemme ask you, what’s a girl? And what’s a boy?
I'm cis, so I never thought that it would be this hard to transition to another gender. Hearing "you will never be cis" made me realize that there are struggles that I never thought someone would go through. Gender dysphoria sucks, I just hope that everyone that goes through this can go one day and say "You know what? I'm proud to be trans. I accept myself for how I am".
Maybe one day.
You think you're being kind, but you're being very cruel.
@@lexbaldwin5613 Sounded kind to me... I hope I can accept myself one day...
"not being tall" jump-scared me. I'm 5'1😭
Hehe short
Not first 😿 I'm not crying leave me alone
Gotta be fast haha, Turbo fast
I’m sitting in bed watching this crying, it has just felt like no-one cares for a while for me
I know this was made 3 years ago, but, thank you! I was considering not transitioning at all because of the exact 'reality' that was explained in this video. But because of your words in the outro, I think I am going to do it.
What a lovely video. Yes, those are harsh truths, but they're so relatable this video makes me feel seen. It pokes at my wounds, but somehow makes me feel stronger at the same time. And it also makes me feel I'm not alone. Thank you for posting this.
I'm not transgender but I can imagine how difficult the process must be.
I'm just your local pansexual bean here saying that I'm here for y'all! I believe in y'all, power through the transitioning process, you can do it! All of y'all are beautiful individuals, and I support each and every one of you!
Edit- Wow, how things have changed lol. I actually no longer identify as pansexual, I'm now the local abro-romantic and they/them pal :)
Thank you for the kind words :) 💖💛💙
@@PhoenixAnimations Just trying my best to be here for my community! :)
Y’all
Second pan bean replying a week late because I found it late
*Cries in has to move before even talking to a therapist*
Stumbled across this and just wanted to share to anyone reading this, still struggling if they want to take these steps. I did it 25 years ago. I was terrified, especially in a world where most of us had to hide what we were doing. There were a lot of challenges. People I lost along the way. And I've got regrets of things I've done and things I didn't do. But I can absolutely say that not once have I ever regretted my choice to transition. The challenges I dealt with can't ever overcome the joy I have that I've been able to spend over half my life as *myself*. That the pictures of *him* from when I was young feel like looking at another person now. You will struggle in your transition, but understand that you are giving your future self the greatest gift you can. Do it for them.
Y'all I cried at this even though I'm cisgender. That's how good this video is ❤
Seeing all these other points of view and hearing other people's stories makes you thankful for things you didn't even know you should be thankful for. I'm thankful I don't need to change a thing. I stand with you. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable and happy
This made me cry. Hurts that I’ll never stop fighting with this, everybody else who is trans or not cis... just let’s try to fight. I have tried suicide, but I’m happy that I failed. I have few very good friends and I’m getting okay day by day. I love you guys, stay strong, there’s always at least one person who loves you the way you are💕
When I first saw this video years ago it really disheartened me, but coming back to it now, knowing the harshness but still wanting to transition makes me feel more sure in my identity than if it were easy
Welcome back. I’m glad you can find and see growth coming back :) small growth is still growth!
When I read the title of this video, I was actually not expecting what I hear. I was however, pleasantly surprised. It’s a super harsh reality but one many have to face... including myself.
Yo thanks for watching! It definitely can be a sort of harsh awakening when first heard (as I felt years ago). I wish you the best of luck in your journey though :)