the best part of every episode is the aftercredits scene where they present the cured patient with a 6-digit hospital bill after performing 50 MRI's and biopsies on them
I've literally just watched the episode where the mom has two types of cancer and one of them works as a treatment for the other so her blood works as a cure for her newborn's disease.
"Now, normally, this would be fine - but because this guy eats so much ass, the second tier cancer has developed a cancer of its own - and now, cancer 1 and cancer 3 is coming after him. But it's not killing him - it's saving him. He has hepatitis, and the cancer is killing it - and in turn, his AIDS is killing the cancer, and the hepatitis is killing the AIDS. It's a delicate balance, and one which was recently thrown off when the patient slammed his nuts in a desk drawer. Give him an aspirin."
There's also the times where House has his team repeat the symptoms of a patient until they get to something like "The patient is paralysed from the waist down." Prompting House to call them an idiot after having an epiphany and going "No... The patient isn't paralysed... His legs just don't work" before limping away with accelerated pace.
you forgot the part where mouse bites actually almost kill the patient but house notices at last second that the thing that the thing he needs is a paint thinner injection or something
House: I'm a bad friend but your ok with that. Wilson: Well, it's more interesting than watching paint dry...........House.....House. *House stares into space for 5 seconds then leaves the room"
But when they bring the mice from his home and give him the mouse bites, he has a seizure and they have to go give him an mri and then someone says "I don't understand i washed the mice" and then they Realize it was flea bites keeping him alive
The mouse bites were not the cause of the disease but the cure. The guy was doing fine for years because the mouse bites were suppressing the disease but when they took him into hospital for a common cold he stopped getting mouse bites and thus the disease emerged again.
Every B-story: *house enters exam room with a woman sitting on the table* House: "you're pregnant" Woman: "well thats impossible, ive never had sex" House: "your uterus tells me otherwise, better call the church, because this might be the second coming of christ" or some shit
@@obscure.reference there was a cheating woman with her gullible husband once and House told him she just got spontaneously pregnant because of calcium or something and he fell for it
In a real House MD episode a patient would experience remission first, but then lose four of his limbs due to mouse bites and get worse, only for House to realize that in fact those mice ate cockroaches and the man needs cockroach bites to live. House breaks 35 laws to get that man cockroach bites, and then the limbless man thanks House in the closing scene.
also in the middle of the episode Wilson and House bicker about Wilson cheating on his wife (even if he's in the middle of a divorce at the time). Also they forgot to have House comment on Cuddy's clothes
Or it turns out the mouse had a parasite and gave it to him via the bite, now the parasite is sick and dying. (Pretty sure the "You have a parasite, and its dying which is killing you" is the plot of the first episode)
Don't forget all their beepers go off at once and they wait until they've finished the conversation before checking them....and finding out the patient is throwing up blood, or flatlined or having the mother of all seizures.
@@markhofstetter1193 and also that one time where Wilson's fiancee (i think?) died from her own medicine after she picked up House in a bar, which caused him to spiral down to guilt and depression
@@lazygenie5616 because I believe it is based off of an old 4chan thread which lampooned the formulaic nature of the show. I remember it from sometime in my high school or early college days
Average episode of House MD: -Patient is brought in, usually not of their own accord, but because they collapsed or had a seizure or something -Cameron at some point says, “Could be sarcoidosis.” -House immediately diagnoses patient and tells his lackeys to administer medicine -Patient almost dies because of the drug and some unknown factor that they’re not telling House -House has a theory on what’s wrong with them, but nobody believes him saying that the condition would be too rare or the symptoms don’t match -House orders lackeys to break into the patient’s home only to usually find nothing -The patient gets progressively worse as the episode goes on, nearing death -Just when all hope seems lost, House has a lightbulb moment on how to fix the patient when he’s doing something completely unrelated -House confronts patient, pressing them until they end up admitting what they’re hiding from House and his team -House goes to his lackeys and tells them to administer new drug -House’s lackeys are still skeptical and tell him that this new drug could kill them if that’s not what’s wrong with them -House tells them to do it anyway or they’re already dead -House’s team say they won’t do it, and tell House to stand down. -House then usually locks himself in with the patient or sneaks in and administers the drug in secret -Someone, usually a husband, father, or boyfriend of the patient, punches House and gets angry for playing with their life -The patient ends up getting better, proving House’s original theory from the beginning right -House and Wilson engage in witty banter back and forth -House calls Foreman black and says something about Cuddy’s breasts -House then sits at home and plays piano while popping Vicodin -THE END
@@mrszmatan2727 Patient: I have a mild fever but it's not going away House: Inject 52.41 pounds of Fentanyl into their body at 5:43 pm each day or the patient will die a horrible death Every certified doctor in the show: 😷
*House MD episodes in a nutshell* Team: “The patient has *insert disease*" House: _pops vicodin, insults and humiliates the team for the billionth time_ “Go trespass on the patient's home." Team: _treats patient for obviously incorrect diagnosis_ Patient: _seizes_ Team: “Call a code!/Get a crash cart in here!" Cuddy and Wilson: “Don't do something stupid." House: _pops vicodin, does something stupid_ Team: _runs a series of tests which 50% of the time is inconclusive, useless, or leads the team to a wrong diagnosis_ Patient: _personal drama is revealed with patient during tests, new symptoms also show up_ Wilson: _rants and talks with House about a recent problem_ House: _pops vicodin, suddenly stops before saying something and stares in realization, then hastily limps out of the room figuring out the problem with the patient_ House: _pops vicodin, enters patient's room and explains his diagnosis using CG animation of internal organs_ Patient: _either resolves personal drama with family in the end or family leaves them_ House: _pops vicodin, goes home and sleeps with a hooker_
Wilson: “House, you’re insane. Why are you giving the patient mouse bites?” House: “C’mon, you know exactly why.” Wilson: “I don’t.” House: “Yes you do.” Wilson: “Is it because you’re crazy?” House: “…Wait, I know what this patient really needs.” **leaves** Wilson: “…”
You forgot the part in every episode where House makes woman, aussie, black man become private investigators and have them break into various properties whilst discussing their home life.
House: Chase and Foreman I need you to go to the guy's house and find that mouse! *A few minutes later* Wilson: Hey so do you want to get pizza tonight? There's that new place down on 5th street." House: *stares into distance* "It wasn't the mouse." *House runs to the room* House: Stop the treatment and put him on 40mg of voriconazole! Foreman: But that will cause his balls to explode if we're wrong! *patient is better* House: The rat bite wasn't the cause, it was a symptom. The rat was just trying to eat cheese. The real cause was this dangerous ligmanuts fungus which grows on every 1 out of every billion pieces of cheese. _NO YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT_
I have broken. I stumbled upon this video a few months ago whenever I had begun my watch through of House MD (I had caught episodes here and there before on television and own multiple of the seasons on DVD) but recently I have returned to this video and can’t stop watching it. On this particular watch of it, I noticed something I had never noticed before. Very quietly playing in the background is Teardrop, the original theme song for the series. This revelation has completely shifted my worldview and I feel I can never fully recover from how mind-shattering this revelation has been to me.
"32-year-old male presenting with fatigue, muscle weakness and joint pain." - Cameron "It could be lupus,." - Foreman "It's never lupus." - House "His urine is brown, it means his kidney's are failing." - Chase "I wanna do an exploratory brain biopsy." - House "Even for you, House, that's insane. Do it." - Cuddy "Could be liver cancer which has metastasized to his brain." - House "No masses or lesions. What did the biopsy show?" - Wilson **Rubs neck, stares off into the distance, looks down** "Nothing..." - House. "Have you considered asking Cuddy out? You know she had this plastic flower in her hair once-" - Wilson. **Looks up, parts lips, limps out of room** "It's paraneoplastic syndrome! Treat with plasmapheresis." - House.
Wait, I just googled it, but paraneoplastic syndrome exits and one of the treatment is plasmapheresis! You really went all the way with this comment! That's awesome!
@@MoodyBluesRequiem80 I actually wondered if it was a reference of some fictive disease in a fiction, but then I googled it and it turned out to be true. I was actually surprised x) Seeing the list of treatments, I saw the comment was also right with it!
I dont know how it isnt more of a thing. Ig because House started and ended just before meme culture vecame this enriched and just before the internet became more open than ever.
@@billclockwell I'm going to say something brave and controversial; that's probably because there's not much more to the show than this, it really is just slight variations of this formula. There's only 1 meme because the show only has 1 framework it operate under. House is a show that isn't good enough for memes to be made about it past the obvious. Because past the obvious, there is next to nothing.
@@masync183Shows like LOST and House, M.D. ended before meme days. Breaking Bad barely made it to meme culture because it was still running (plus Better Call Saul). Mad Men actually prob has more moments than House and I like both equally. House would only be memed on Reddit, specifically r/atheism.
@@OwnFall420 bonus points if the side plot patient says something stupid that happens to trigger that episode's "revelation" moment. Two birds with one stone
@@angrytigermpc *side-patient stabs the outlet with a metal knife* *gets electrocuted* *side-patient wakes up* House: "Why the fuck would you do that?" *House then proceeds to stab metal knife in outlet and falls asleep* House wakes up: "I get it now" Cuddy or whatever I forgot who delivered the dialogue: "side-patient died from getting electrocuted again while you're asleep" *House does introspective thinking*
The only missing part is when after weeks of failed treatment they ask the simplest most obvious must-ask-in-every-patient question to the patient that easily solves the case.
@@iiiivvvv9986there was also the hostage taker who didn’t realize florida counts as tropical and so said he had never been to any tropical regions so they overlooked a disease that you only get in tropics.
House: *spins cane between hands* "What if the hair loss wasn't the symptom... It was the cure" Taub: "cases of neurosyphilis from toilet seats are incredibly rare" House *angry from Vicodin withdrawal* "YOU'RE KILLING HIM"
Cameron: “We can’t just let our patient get eaten by mice.” House: “You are a doctor, it’s part of the job.” Cameron: *replaces the mice with a giant rat*
The one thing that's left out is when the episode starts to calm down, they always make the patient go into respiratory arrest and stick that pump down their throat
Also House becoming aware of the disease by talking to Wilson for a few second about something completely not medically related whenever he's having trouble
@@mcflurryfrostieit’s actually one of the most accurate haha. I think only like ER and another are above it in terms of medical terminology. There are some goofs here and there like in one of the first episodes where they use a defibrillator on a patient who is Asystole which wouldn’t work lmao.
@@Floppa-oz1kp of course, popping pills in front of patients, choking them, going behind the boss' back, plus one group of doctors making all the tests, imaging (has to be done by radiologists), trespassing, focusing on one patient at a time, specialty overlap (many different specialties in one department), treating them without knowing what it is, dramatized symptoms, one in a million cases every episode, sudden and miraculous breakthroughs, minimal paperwork, simplified surgical procedures, instant recoveries, time constraint, hospital hierarchy disregard, doctor-patient relationship, unrealistic success rate, ethical guideline violation (should've lost his medical license long ago), predictable formula and structure, very unhinged and rude to patients....... i could keep going for a very very long time. doesn't seem accurate to me
Whilist the formula is very good and very repetitive, the episodes which break it or use it with a twist like House's Head / Wilson's Heart / Euphoria / All In are peak TV imo.
Code blue , he's seising , calling cameron hot af , illegally invading people's homes , phsycologically torturing patients , violating all possible medical codes :
@@masync183 Old comment amd maybe you've seen it already, but while the show follows this formula for let's say, 60% of the time, there are twists and turns every now and then.
“I too am in this episode” Wilson unintentionally adding fuel to the fire always gets me. He’s the direct catalyst and his self-awareness makes it all the more hilarious
Forgot the part where he gives him the mouse bites but he just goes into arrest and they need the crash cart. Everyone thinks House is crazy but House notices 'mouse bites' is an anagram for 'mob use ties' and realizes the patient is in the mafia and the ties they've been wearing have been poisoned with super cancer so he, idk, chops the guys leg off or something and sews it back on while literally fighting back Cuddy with his cane and saves the day.
You joke, but “chopping the guy’s leg off and sewing it back on” is in fact a real procedure used to treat cancer (among other conditions). Except, in real life, they put the leg back on *backwards.* Sometimes fact is stranger than fiction!
@@Felix-sb5wp Honestly, that part is pretty realistic. Given that house almost kills someone every episode, no wonder they have a special "House Fuck Up Cart" on standby.
Wilson has the shortest yet the most true part of this video, Lol. It literally becomes a running joke in the show that all Wilson is at a certain point is a blank slate for House to bounce conversation off of until Wilson accidentally says the 'Bingo' word out of pure happenstance that ends up being the final clue for House to solve the patient's entire illness and cure... meaning everything the multiple high-salaried doctors and the "Sherlock Holmes" of modern medicine tried to do earlier in the episode to help the literal dying patient is often entirely nullified by this single realization made by House in the final 9 minutes of the 45-minute episode.. lmfao
some points that could be added: >differential diagnosis meeting where House calls his residents stupid and it always comes to a conclusion where he sends Foreman and +1 to break in a patient's house > House making a comment about Cuddy's ass > Clinic duty! or Secondary plotline, that's what you see on yt shorts > House and Cameron having a staredown about ethics, Cameron believes she has moral high ground > Everyone makes fun of Chase for being a rich boy (he's not) > "Go get patient's consent", Cameron bonding with a patient and then, after some arguments w/ House about related topic, she goes to scold the patient about his life situation, confident in her moral high ground > House and Wilson having a casual conversation about unrelated shit and House having an epiphany that may be explained later > m e t a p h o r s > "House, you're a drug addict" "Your mom" *pops 3 Vicodin pills*
House: "It's this. This is what's wrong with him." Everybody: "House I know you've been right every time we have a difficult situation, but you are wrong."
I'm schizophrenic and I've recently been in a state of emotional disconnect for the past few days and this fucking video is the one thing that's bringing me back out of my de-attached mindset and idk if I should be pissed or happy about it LMAO I literally say "I did try the medicine drug" , "no hygiene drug will kill the patient!" and "this vexes me" on a daily basis now, I don't think phrases have ever entered my daily lexicon faster
In this episode, House verbally abuses Australian Man, Black Man and Not A Man for 45 minutes straight.
Also yells at his patient and calls them a liar and stupid
All while popping his drugs.
Meanwhile he annoy a Jewish man that probably cheats on his wife with a nurse...
Not a man 🤣🤣🤣
Welcaume back to buhtum gaer
You forgot the part when they send two guys of the team to trespass on private property only to gain information about the patient
and then discover that a misplaced pencil is the reason why their heart is failing
Then they tell the patient they broke into their house and found their fetish porn collection and the patient is always like "ok"
I think that was part of the whole mouse bites thing
and the part where house is a dick to wilson to show what good friends they are
To steal the mouse
"It´s not lupus."
"You have a fever, go home"
"Do a biopsy of his rectum"
i mean… it’s never lupus tbh
@@user-bj8cr9dh9lIt could be lupus, it explains all the symptoms
@@Ali-cr9ex it's perfect
@@Retro-- S3 Ep9 5:06 - The man says it himself
There’s that whole episode about the homeless women, they found her place full of bats and didn’t even thought about rabies, truly the best 😂
"You are a Black man!"
"This vexes me."
House and Foreman's relationship in a nutshell.
i straight up died laughing
@@bullatognya5480 I'm sorry to hear that I hope you resurrect
@@currentlyAddictedToKebab they/them identifies as dead, how dare you hoping that
@@Pootie_Tang you're right, I'm gonna check my living privilege
"Foreman's black?!"
Wilson: “House, you’re an asshole!”
House: *pauses in self-reflexion*
House: We need to check the patient’s asshole!
😂 how right you are!
BRO...
😂 Busted my ass laughing at this one, thanks mate
Wilson: You're goddamn right
😂😂
Y O U A R E A B L A C K M A N
this vexes me...
That's bad
Also I was bitten by mice due to my poor hygiene
No i am not 😡
You need hygiene drug! Also I have not spoken in a while.
"Foreman, you're a natural at burglary, take this crowbar and get more mice from the patient's home"
"This vexes me"
the best part of every episode is the aftercredits scene where they present the cured patient with a 6-digit hospital bill after performing 50 MRI's and biopsies on them
there’s aftercredits scenes??? am i stupid or r u joking 😭
@@johnnycagesboyfriendthere is.
I never saw this, I'm guessing it's not on Hulu then?
@@weirdgamer9566 nah im joking there arent any
@@liar-888lmaooo
I like how Foreman just stays vexed throughout the entire thing.
Are you talking about the show or just this video? Because both are true
He's always vexed😂
Foreman is ALWAYS vexed by sh%t
I mean, he is a black man
This vexes me.
"He has cancer.... but his cancer has cancer and it's killing the cancer!"
This is an actual thing on whales
I've literally just watched the episode where the mom has two types of cancer and one of them works as a treatment for the other so her blood works as a cure for her newborn's disease.
"Now, normally, this would be fine - but because this guy eats so much ass, the second tier cancer has developed a cancer of its own - and now, cancer 1 and cancer 3 is coming after him. But it's not killing him - it's saving him. He has hepatitis, and the cancer is killing it - and in turn, his AIDS is killing the cancer, and the hepatitis is killing the AIDS. It's a delicate balance, and one which was recently thrown off when the patient slammed his nuts in a desk drawer. Give him an aspirin."
"oh... Oh my god, the cancer that evolved to kill the cancer has cancer and now the cancer that is killing the cancer has a cancer that is killing it"
That's called a hypertumor
“I too am in this episode” 💀
Poor Wilson
They named the characters after Sherlock Holmes and Watson but the Watson character is barely in it
There's also the times where House has his team repeat the symptoms of a patient until they get to something like "The patient is paralysed from the waist down." Prompting House to call them an idiot after having an epiphany and going "No... The patient isn't paralysed... His legs just don't work" before limping away with accelerated pace.
I gave you your 1,000th like. Now give me a diagnosis other than Lupus.
@@themodernholmes1735Sarcoidosis
@@themodernholmes1735 Sarcoidosis!
you forgot the part where he says cameron is hot
and cuddy
Thanks
every episode? nah thatd be a comment on cuddy's tits or ass
Thats just the earlier seasons
@@losotrospersonas9832 And to be fair, she IS hot
you forgot the part where mouse bites actually almost kill the patient but house notices at last second that the thing that the thing he needs is a paint thinner injection or something
House: I'm a bad friend but your ok with that.
Wilson: Well, it's more interesting than watching paint dry...........House.....House.
*House stares into space for 5 seconds then leaves the room"
True it wouldnt be a House episode if they didnt fuck up and almost kill the patient halfway through every episode
@@MightySheep I admire their consistency.
@@woodside4lifeSounds like a shitty time for all to me. Why would anyone like this show? Hugh Laurie was better in Blackadder.
Actually more accurately it’s the reveal that he needs cough medicine or some shit
The patient would never admit the mouse bite thing. House would send doctors to break into his house and then find out about the mouse bites.
But when they bring the mice from his home and give him the mouse bites, he has a seizure and they have to go give him an mri and then someone says "I don't understand i washed the mice" and then they Realize it was flea bites keeping him alive
and it would typically be irrelevant
You forgot that house is only right when the fancy cgi appears while he’s talking
The mouse bites were not the cause of the disease but the cure. The guy was doing fine for years because the mouse bites were suppressing the disease but when they took him into hospital for a common cold he stopped getting mouse bites and thus the disease emerged again.
A fellow MD I see
Every 3rd House episode is the "Mr Burns has every disease" joke from the Simpsons
this is the plot of at least 4 episodes
I watched exactly 1 episode of House, and that was basically the plot
Y'all gave me quite the laugh, thank you 😂😂😂
I just started watching and I can confirm this is the plot of every episode
Me too lol
Just wait a bit. Season 1 is one of the weakest.
@@michaelmcdoesntexist1459 said every series watcher ever
@@thechugg4372 cause it's true
it is a good plot
The "MORE MICE BITES" impression was spot on
thanks
@@carth531 its the og!!!
"You are black"
"You are hot woman"
"I am smart, you are not"
"Everyone lies"
You forgot the "He's seizing!"
LMAO
4000 milligrams of lorazepam
that and them having their body getting fucking destroyed at the beginning of the episode
CG animation of internal organs
Also lots of property trespassing for some reason
You forgot lupus.
It's never lupus
Except for that one time
Magician's always have lupus
@@griweam3 that's lepus you're thinking of
They suggest sarcoidosis more than they meme on lupus. Lupus just became the non-watcher's meme.
*suddenly has epileptic fit in the middle of hospital foyer while everyone stops what they’re doing to watch in horror*
Every B-story:
*house enters exam room with a woman sitting on the table*
House: "you're pregnant"
Woman: "well thats impossible, ive never had sex"
House: "your uterus tells me otherwise, better call the church, because this might be the second coming of christ" or some shit
and the resolution is always multiple personalities
@@obscure.reference there was a cheating woman with her gullible husband once and House told him she just got spontaneously pregnant because of calcium or something and he fell for it
@@obscure.referenceor sleep sex
this is a real episode btw
that actually happened one episode.
In a real House MD episode a patient would experience remission first, but then lose four of his limbs due to mouse bites and get worse, only for House to realize that in fact those mice ate cockroaches and the man needs cockroach bites to live. House breaks 35 laws to get that man cockroach bites, and then the limbless man thanks House in the closing scene.
also in the middle of the episode Wilson and House bicker about Wilson cheating on his wife (even if he's in the middle of a divorce at the time). Also they forgot to have House comment on Cuddy's clothes
House gets Foreman break into the patients home and find that exact cockroach to bite the patient.
no the patients arms and legs regrow (unless it's one of the episodes where house is supposed to be more upset after)
Or it turns out the mouse had a parasite and gave it to him via the bite, now the parasite is sick and dying.
(Pretty sure the "You have a parasite, and its dying which is killing you" is the plot of the first episode)
you forgot about second patient who fell into an industrial mill, which somehow helped the case
*[ Perception 85%: **_You are a black man_** ]*
*[ Foreman is vexed ]*
literally the "you are black" failed skillcheck from Disco-Elysium
you some kind of superstar doctor?
"I forbid this"
-Speech failed-
@@Rise65487WHAT?
@@metalgearzwei never played Disco-Elysium?
The faintly audible theme song in the background is the cherry on top.
Teardrop" - by "Massive Attack for anyone wondering
Massive Attack are always a W in my book.
LMAO I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THE INTRO THEME IN THE BACK 😭😭😭😭
Don't forget all their beepers go off at once and they wait until they've finished the conversation before checking them....and finding out the patient is throwing up blood, or flatlined or having the mother of all seizures.
i say this a fan of the show, this is absolutely how every episode goes with the occasional drug od from house.
Yeah the mid-season od to give cuddy a chance to be nice to house
@@ssgoko88overdose and depression😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@ssgoko88 not to mention the bus crash, bike crash, ect ect
@@markhofstetter1193 and also that one time where Wilson's fiancee (i think?) died from her own medicine after she picked up House in a bar, which caused him to spiral down to guilt and depression
@@ShatteredGlass916 Or that one two-parter, where Foreman had to be quaranteed with a cop with a weed garden for catching the same brain bug.
"I too am in this episode" has lived in my head for years
Wilson in every episode lol
This video is only 9 months old, so how as it lived in your head for years 🤔
@@lazygenie5616 because I believe it is based off of an old 4chan thread which lampooned the formulaic nature of the show. I remember it from sometime in my high school or early college days
i too am in this comment section.
@zacharylorentz5229 this always trips me out. But it makss sense, 4chan was basically at its most popular during the time House was on tv
I love that episode where it shows that Foreman can't get a job just because working with House is on his record
"i forbid this" into "dont care" with the "dont" beeing so blown out that you can barely hear it sends me every fucking time
Average episode of House MD:
-Patient is brought in, usually not of their own accord, but because they collapsed or had a seizure or something
-Cameron at some point says, “Could be sarcoidosis.”
-House immediately diagnoses patient and tells his lackeys to administer medicine
-Patient almost dies because of the drug and some unknown factor that they’re not telling House
-House has a theory on what’s wrong with them, but nobody believes him saying that the condition would be too rare or the symptoms don’t match
-House orders lackeys to break into the patient’s home only to usually find nothing
-The patient gets progressively worse as the episode goes on, nearing death
-Just when all hope seems lost, House has a lightbulb moment on how to fix the patient when he’s doing something completely unrelated
-House confronts patient, pressing them until they end up admitting what they’re hiding from House and his team
-House goes to his lackeys and tells them to administer new drug
-House’s lackeys are still skeptical and tell him that this new drug could kill them if that’s not what’s wrong with them
-House tells them to do it anyway or they’re already dead
-House’s team say they won’t do it, and tell House to stand down.
-House then usually locks himself in with the patient or sneaks in and administers the drug in secret
-Someone, usually a husband, father, or boyfriend of the patient, punches House and gets angry for playing with their life
-The patient ends up getting better, proving House’s original theory from the beginning right
-House and Wilson engage in witty banter back and forth
-House calls Foreman black and says something about Cuddy’s breasts
-House then sits at home and plays piano while popping Vicodin
-THE END
>child enters with zero symptoms
>house immediately orders the most invasive and risky procedure to be done
@@candle_eatist yes sir, we need your Child to eat raw asbestos 3 times a day, for every meal
@@mrszmatan2727
Patient: I have a mild fever but it's not going away
House: Inject 52.41 pounds of Fentanyl into their body at 5:43 pm each day or the patient will die a horrible death
Every certified doctor in the show: 😷
Goes to show you've only seen the first 2 seasons at most
@@candle_eatist person: coughs
house: SHOVE A CAR UP HIS ASS AND GIVE HIM A WEDGIE
"I forbid this"
"Don't care"
Yup, that's a perfect summary of their work relationship.
He didn't comment on her ass, though.
You forgot the part where House accuses the half the planet of being liars
I don't think 'everybody lies' encompasses only half the planet
*House MD episodes in a nutshell*
Team: “The patient has *insert disease*"
House: _pops vicodin, insults and humiliates the team for the billionth time_ “Go trespass on the patient's home."
Team: _treats patient for obviously incorrect diagnosis_
Patient: _seizes_
Team: “Call a code!/Get a crash cart in here!"
Cuddy and Wilson: “Don't do something stupid."
House: _pops vicodin, does something stupid_
Team: _runs a series of tests which 50% of the time is inconclusive, useless, or leads the team to a wrong diagnosis_
Patient: _personal drama is revealed with patient during tests, new symptoms also show up_
Wilson: _rants and talks with House about a recent problem_
House: _pops vicodin, suddenly stops before saying something and stares in realization, then hastily limps out of the room figuring out the problem with the patient_
House: _pops vicodin, enters patient's room and explains his diagnosis using CG animation of internal organs_
Patient: _either resolves personal drama with family in the end or family leaves them_
House: _pops vicodin, goes home and sleeps with a hooker_
At no point does House put the Vicodin down 😭
House makes CGI animation
Wilson: “House, you’re insane. Why are you giving the patient mouse bites?”
House: “C’mon, you know exactly why.”
Wilson: “I don’t.”
House: “Yes you do.”
Wilson: “Is it because you’re crazy?”
House: “…Wait, I know what this patient really needs.” **leaves**
Wilson: “…”
written like someone who has seen too much house haha
@@space_1073 I've watched the show myself like 5 or 6 times from the beginning to the end...
the patient needs crazy dutg
"Is it because you’re crazy?” TBF
It would probably be more akin to:
You are more insane than a rabid dog!!
*runs off*
"the rat had rabies"
@@AL3X1KUS do you know who else did this ?, MY MON !!! Kkkkkk
bora ver quem pega a referencia kkk
You forgot the obligatory
Foreman/Cameron: “He’s jaundiced”
Chase: “HiS LiVeR’s ShUtTiNg DoWn”
Good, we have another symptom to add to the board.
His markers are through the roof
He's running out of organs to fail 😂
also lupus
"What if jaundice isn't a symptom, but a cause................ start the patient on a dick load of Versed."
"Why?"
"Cause I said so"
The delivery of "I too am in this episode" was perfect
every single time the dude was in an episode he was chatting with House about how he would fuck/ is struggling with trying to fuck the boss lady lol
Foreman on the happiest day of his life: 0:33
Foreman on the saddest day of his life: 0:50
Ngl your Taub impression is on point
@@kumquaaat_ Peak Taub moment
You forgot the part in every episode where House makes woman, aussie, black man become private investigators and have them break into various properties whilst discussing their home life.
"woman, aussie, black man"💀
Bruh.
@@anslagstavlan yeah 🥶💀
Bi, Jew and Indian in some episodes
@@anslagstavlan the three races
House: Chase and Foreman I need you to go to the guy's house and find that mouse!
*A few minutes later*
Wilson: Hey so do you want to get pizza tonight? There's that new place down on 5th street."
House: *stares into distance*
"It wasn't the mouse."
*House runs to the room*
House: Stop the treatment and put him on 40mg of voriconazole!
Foreman: But that will cause his balls to explode if we're wrong!
*patient is better*
House: The rat bite wasn't the cause, it was a symptom. The rat was just trying to eat cheese. The real cause was this dangerous ligmanuts fungus which grows on every 1 out of every billion pieces of cheese.
_NO YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT_
😂😂😂
The "You can't always get what you want" part was brilliant hahaha.
Lmao that's perfect, especially the "no that'll cause his balls to explode if you're wrong"
THIS IS SO ACCURATE IM CRYING ESP THE *stares into distance* it wasn’t the mouse. and then he runs
I read it with his voice.
I will be forever be grateful for this video reestablishing House MD meme culture.
I have broken. I stumbled upon this video a few months ago whenever I had begun my watch through of House MD (I had caught episodes here and there before on television and own multiple of the seasons on DVD) but recently I have returned to this video and can’t stop watching it. On this particular watch of it, I noticed something I had never noticed before. Very quietly playing in the background is Teardrop, the original theme song for the series. This revelation has completely shifted my worldview and I feel I can never fully recover from how mind-shattering this revelation has been to me.
I hysterically laugh for a good while after watching this
"32-year-old male presenting with fatigue, muscle weakness and joint pain." - Cameron
"It could be lupus,." - Foreman
"It's never lupus." - House
"His urine is brown, it means his kidney's are failing." - Chase
"I wanna do an exploratory brain biopsy." - House
"Even for you, House, that's insane. Do it." - Cuddy
"Could be liver cancer which has metastasized to his brain." - House
"No masses or lesions. What did the biopsy show?" - Wilson
**Rubs neck, stares off into the distance, looks down**
"Nothing..." - House.
"Have you considered asking Cuddy out? You know she had this plastic flower in her hair once-" - Wilson.
**Looks up, parts lips, limps out of room**
"It's paraneoplastic syndrome! Treat with plasmapheresis." - House.
This is literally format of every episode.....🤣🤣🤣
Wait, I just googled it, but paraneoplastic syndrome exits and one of the treatment is plasmapheresis! You really went all the way with this comment! That's awesome!
I'm surprised I got this far down before someone suggested Lupus
@@Danzignanwait, really? Neat! They went into details and you actually googled it. The goats 🤣🖤
@@MoodyBluesRequiem80 I actually wondered if it was a reference of some fictive disease in a fiction, but then I googled it and it turned out to be true. I was actually surprised x) Seeing the list of treatments, I saw the comment was also right with it!
The internet desperately needs more House MD memes.
I dont know how it isnt more of a thing. Ig because House started and ended just before meme culture vecame this enriched and just before the internet became more open than ever.
Yeah, I feel like I've seen this one meme going on for a decade
@@billclockwell I'm going to say something brave and controversial; that's probably because there's not much more to the show than this, it really is just slight variations of this formula. There's only 1 meme because the show only has 1 framework it operate under.
House is a show that isn't good enough for memes to be made about it past the obvious. Because past the obvious, there is next to nothing.
Thats entirely untrue and could be said about literally everything but okay i guess.@@masync183
@@masync183Shows like LOST and House, M.D. ended before meme days. Breaking Bad barely made it to meme culture because it was still running (plus Better Call Saul). Mad Men actually prob has more moments than House and I like both equally. House would only be memed on Reddit, specifically r/atheism.
also missing "Can't fake that!"
Don’t forget about the sideplot idiot patients house deals with in between the main plot.
@@OwnFall420 bonus points if the side plot patient says something stupid that happens to trigger that episode's "revelation" moment. Two birds with one stone
@@angrytigermpc
*side-patient stabs the outlet with a metal knife*
*gets electrocuted*
*side-patient wakes up*
House: "Why the fuck would you do that?"
*House then proceeds to stab metal knife in outlet and falls asleep*
House wakes up: "I get it now"
Cuddy or whatever I forgot who delivered the dialogue: "side-patient died from getting electrocuted again while you're asleep"
*House does introspective thinking*
Dude more mouse bites has literally become part of my vocabulary I think this is my favourite video on the internet
i voiced this, it got reuploaded though 😭the original is on my channel
dang rip
The jar of mice bites always kills me. I'm pretty sure this gif has been floating around since at least 2008
MORE MOUSE BITES!
It has. I remember seeing it roughly that long ago. Not sure when it got voiced though. Definitely older than this upload tho lmao
@@thegatorhator6822damn
Yeah its almost been around as long as the show itself
@@Myne1001 the episode with that patient should have come out like 2006 - 2007 I think.
The only missing part is when after weeks of failed treatment they ask the simplest most obvious must-ask-in-every-patient question to the patient that easily solves the case.
"How old are you?"
"85"
"THAT'S THE PROBLEM! We've been treating you under the assumption you were 7!"
@@samnoltensmeyer926this comment is killing me😭😭😭
@@samnoltensmeyer926isn't that just that episode with house using someone's patient history to treat another patient?
they asked it in the initial doctor-patient briefing but the patient lied because they are ashamed of syphilis induced rash.
@@iiiivvvv9986there was also the hostage taker who didn’t realize florida counts as tropical and so said he had never been to any tropical regions so they overlooked a disease that you only get in tropics.
this vexes me has irreversibly altered my vocabulary forever
Inaccurate no one passed out
House: *spins cane between hands*
"What if the hair loss wasn't the symptom... It was the cure"
Taub: "cases of neurosyphilis from toilet seats are incredibly rare"
House *angry from Vicodin withdrawal* "YOU'RE KILLING HIM"
Plays with the red and white ball...
@@monishanair7962 how can we forget the ball!
Where are the parts with Cameron always trying to push the morality route that almost always makes things worse?
She forbids the mouse bites even tho they're obviously what everyone needs to be happy and healthy.
@@voidishprattles4319Nope Cuddy is the one forbidding it here
@@voidishprattles4319literally me, a 14th century peasant
@@THESLlCK gold comment 🏆
Cameron: “We can’t just let our patient get eaten by mice.”
House: “You are a doctor, it’s part of the job.”
Cameron: *replaces the mice with a giant rat*
The one thing that's left out is when the episode starts to calm down, they always make the patient go into respiratory arrest and stick that pump down their throat
Not a single seizure? and you call this a House episode
Should've mentioned sarcoidosis at least once.
I forgot about sarcoidosis
Dude! That one always gets me. They say it so damn often.
@@Gunblademan117 I didn't even know what it was before House. They said it so much that I ended up learning it, lol.
Don’t forget amyloidosis.
Sarcoidosis, Lupus and Seizing - the holy trinity of house episodes
Also House becoming aware of the disease by talking to Wilson for a few second about something completely not medically related whenever he's having trouble
"I forbid this!"
"Don't care."
MORE MOUSE BITES!! 🗣🗣🗣❗❗❗‼‼
I still love this show despite the formula lol if it works it works 😂
Yeah it's fun regardless of every episode begin the same
Yup. Might not be the most medically accurate show around but I love House's snark lol
@@mcflurryfrostieit’s actually one of the most accurate haha. I think only like ER and another are above it in terms of medical terminology. There are some goofs here and there like in one of the first episodes where they use a defibrillator on a patient who is Asystole which wouldn’t work lmao.
@@Floppa-oz1kp of course, popping pills in front of patients, choking them, going behind the boss' back, plus one group of doctors making all the tests, imaging (has to be done by radiologists), trespassing, focusing on one patient at a time, specialty overlap (many different specialties in one department), treating them without knowing what it is, dramatized symptoms, one in a million cases every episode, sudden and miraculous breakthroughs, minimal paperwork, simplified surgical procedures, instant recoveries, time constraint, hospital hierarchy disregard, doctor-patient relationship, unrealistic success rate, ethical guideline violation (should've lost his medical license long ago), predictable formula and structure, very unhinged and rude to patients....... i could keep going for a very very long time.
doesn't seem accurate to me
Whilist the formula is very good and very repetitive, the episodes which break it or use it with a twist like House's Head / Wilson's Heart / Euphoria / All In are peak TV imo.
Code blue , he's seising , calling cameron hot af , illegally invading people's homes , phsycologically torturing patients , violating all possible medical codes :
The way you describe it, makes it sound like an ordinary event from Guantanamo Bay
Man this show sounds interesting!
Drug abuse, hallucinations, ethical violations
@@chernobylcoleslaw6698 I sure hope it isn't literally the same plot episode to episode!
@@masync183 Old comment amd maybe you've seen it already, but while the show follows this formula for let's say, 60% of the time, there are twists and turns every now and then.
“I too am in this episode”
Wilson unintentionally adding fuel to the fire always gets me. He’s the direct catalyst and his self-awareness makes it all the more hilarious
i saw this before i watched the entirety of house and i ended up cackling when house injected himself with mouse cancer
*downs entire vicodin bottle*
Cameron just saying 'thats bad' is prohably the most accurate thing
That Wilson voice was so incredibly good on the ears.
Can't believe TH-cam just let you upload a whole episode of House like that
Forgot the part where he gives him the mouse bites but he just goes into arrest and they need the crash cart. Everyone thinks House is crazy but House notices 'mouse bites' is an anagram for 'mob use ties' and realizes the patient is in the mafia and the ties they've been wearing have been poisoned with super cancer so he, idk, chops the guys leg off or something and sews it back on while literally fighting back Cuddy with his cane and saves the day.
and the crash cart is right around the corner with 3 nurses standing there lol
You joke, but “chopping the guy’s leg off and sewing it back on” is in fact a real procedure used to treat cancer (among other conditions).
Except, in real life, they put the leg back on *backwards.* Sometimes fact is stranger than fiction!
@@Felix-sb5wp Honestly, that part is pretty realistic. Given that house almost kills someone every episode, no wonder they have a special "House Fuck Up Cart" on standby.
Wilson has the shortest yet the most true part of this video, Lol. It literally becomes a running joke in the show that all Wilson is at a certain point is a blank slate for House to bounce conversation off of until Wilson accidentally says the 'Bingo' word out of pure happenstance that ends up being the final clue for House to solve the patient's entire illness and cure... meaning everything the multiple high-salaried doctors and the "Sherlock Holmes" of modern medicine tried to do earlier in the episode to help the literal dying patient is often entirely nullified by this single realization made by House in the final 9 minutes of the 45-minute episode.. lmfao
It's like a programmer needs a rubber duck to talk to, House needs Wilson.
House is basically 8 seasons of the "crazy enough to work" trope
as a diligent house watcher i can confirm this is exactly how it goes
"Dr House! You'll need this." **Hands rule book** "GET THIS THING OUT OF MY SIGHT"
Family guy detected
The "I forbid this" is pretty damn accurate.
This video as altered my vocabulary irreparably.
You forgot the part where the patient is all good and then they have a seizure for some reason 💀
Idk why the "this vexes me" line kills me every time
0:11 when I’m losing an argument online
I watch this video every day
I gotta say, the inflections are on point
Every patient the episode is built around, regardless of what they’re sick from, also has a seizure at some point in the episode
Someone has to guess sarcoidosis once every episode. Still don’t know what sarcoidosis is after watching the entire series 9 times
Sarcoidosis is always mentioned somewhere in the episode as well as lupus
"It explains all the symptons"
THE MOUSE SQUEAKING AFTER "MORE MOUSE BITES"
'He needs mouse bites to live'
The following silence made me lose it
This vexes me
i dont see a single comment about how there's a slight bit of music in the background, especially noticeable starting at 0:32
mouse bites
even after it's been i don't know like 10 years or something since the show ended, i love that we're all still so obsessed
some points that could be added:
>differential diagnosis meeting where House calls his residents stupid and it always comes to a conclusion where he sends Foreman and +1 to break in a patient's house
> House making a comment about Cuddy's ass
> Clinic duty! or Secondary plotline, that's what you see on yt shorts
> House and Cameron having a staredown about ethics, Cameron believes she has moral high ground
> Everyone makes fun of Chase for being a rich boy (he's not)
> "Go get patient's consent", Cameron bonding with a patient and then, after some arguments w/ House about related topic, she goes to scold the patient about his life situation, confident in her moral high ground
> House and Wilson having a casual conversation about unrelated shit and House having an epiphany that may be explained later
> m e t a p h o r s
> "House, you're a drug addict"
"Your mom" *pops 3 Vicodin pills*
I mean credit to House MD, they found the formula to a great medical show and basically did the same thing for 8 seasons and it worked.
Foreman staring for most of his time on screen and having Cuddy and/or Wilson as footnotes to remind you they exist are the two most accurate parts
Foreman in his vexed pose for some reason kills me everytime
House prescribed him a mouse
It’s not House MD unless the patient has a seizure every episode.
House: "It's this. This is what's wrong with him."
Everybody: "House I know you've been right every time we have a difficult situation, but you are wrong."
you needed house and wilson to interact for him to find the cure, that was the key.
You forgot breaking and entering into the patient's home and eating their snacks.
Forgot the obligatory lupus or lumbar puncture
I'm schizophrenic and I've recently been in a state of emotional disconnect for the past few days and this fucking video is the one thing that's bringing me back out of my de-attached mindset and idk if I should be pissed or happy about it LMAO
I literally say "I did try the medicine drug" , "no hygiene drug will kill the patient!" and "this vexes me" on a daily basis now, I don't think phrases have ever entered my daily lexicon faster
@noct_oce wow you're really funny. totally shouldn't end it all
You are mistaking your confusion with enlightenment 😏
this video should be a treatment for schizophrenia
One of the most unique, fascinating and unexpected comments I've ever seen. Good wishes to you OP
its funny how a video about HouseMD helps with your schizophrenia, maybe you should get a toenail biopsy