48 years old and learning all this stuff about myself. I still have a lot of life ahead of me but can’t help but to feel bad about all the time I’ve lost/wasted while spinning in the trauma fog 🥺💔
All this I saw in my husband , having no confidence when I married him . Supported and taught him all only to discover myself abused by him . He wanted to be what I was but was not so was jealous and so took out all his Narcissism on me . Today my daughter has become a Natcissist too and abusing my son , because she was kept under control by my husband . I am all the time fighting with my daughter to not abuse my son as he would not grow up to be a confident man.
It feels like people in this society are just not ready to take in this truthful information. It feels like society is so narcissistic. SOO full of denial. I wish there were more views on these worst day cycle videos.
Yes seems like everybody is so disconnected from themselves. We all run away from ourself but we are all unique creatures but we are so scared of it. I think it’s even more the society then even parents who imposes on us the way we should look or be to be accepted. The stupid status symbols or possessions or titles. Then even when you heal, if you have next to you a person who is disconnected from themselves, do not know who they are, Gosh that makes me feel lonely ! 😢
I am watching your videos for almost 4 days now. I realize that something wasn't right in the way I live my life. And then suddenly it hit, I am living my life exactly as my mom, rest her soul as she died 20 years ago. Deny, run away form difficult situations and have no sense of control, her way or the high way. I am self-sabotaging myself with this believe and this will stop today! Getting to my authentic self. I will get out of The worst day cycle by seeing things for what they are. We are all broken pieces in a puzzle raised by imperfect parents.
Kenny, I’d like to express my deepest gratitude for all of your videos, especially this one. I’ve listened to many academics and other experts talk on these topics and read numerous books for about 3 decades and I have never heard any one speak with such clarity and astounding insight and healing truth. I believe you are bringing mental health and freedom from confusion to so many people who have never had it before. 🙏 from Susan, Sydney.
You are a gift to humanity and to reform all of us to break generational curses. Thank you. If possible someday in future, I would be honoured to meet you. God bless you.
I finally understand what I've been going through all these years .Thank you. Please continue to teach to people like me who are confuse and struggle with fears daily. God bless.
You are so welcome and I’m happy to hear that life finally makes sense. If you need more free resources I have an online magazine site filled with articles and videos and exercises you can download to help you on the journey to recovery. If you’re interested here’s the link www.thegreatnessuniversity.com/
6:15, 7:40** 9:04, 10:08, Denial = we minimise, suppress, repress and condone. Fear = Rejection, inadequacy of powerlessness. Emotional chemical addiction, doesn't process on what's right or wrong, just known and unknown ( it's the familiar cycles) 11:18, 12:50, 17:20, 18:55 We can't outrun ourselves! I felt that Kenny👍💗 23:00
Im so grateful for have found you. You speak with such a passion it's evident you broke through the worst day cycle and have found your passion. You are helping people wake up who have fallen asleep behind the wheel. You are saving lives. I ordered your book and have watched just about all of your free content at this point. I'm 36 years old and its scary to look myself in the mirror and still see a stranger. This video has helped lift the fog immensely. Taking ownership in my own trauma is step 1. Better late than never!
Yes!!! Tyvm for the information again! I have shared this with all of my adult children, as well. I see where my perfect imperfections were projected onto all three of them. I take full ownership. 🙏🏼💯 I know emotionally, especially now, after using your book, feelings, chart, journaling for about 7 months 3xs a day the 6 ?s…whew! I see so much Beauty in my life that is there, and has always been there. I just couldn’t truly accept that I deserved to be blessed with these wonderful memories, because of the traumas that were overshadowing my life. The self-sabotage, and the healing from those horrific abuses you mention…I was that child…and I knew something was wrong with my life, when I was @ my friend’s house for the night, and I asked her puzzled…”you mean you don’t have to get in your father’s lap at night & kiss him goodnight?” She looked bewildered & replied “no, why would I?” That was a major “aha” moment… plus Not many friends ever came to my home but maybe once. It wasn’t a safe space. I felt so isolated, yet never projected anything but happy Christy & if I ever tried to share my feelings, well, I was being a Sarah Bernhardt or I was exaggerating. That taught me @ a very young age not to bother my Mother. Be perfect. I felt most @ peace or felt true Serenity out in nature, riding my pony Freddy bareback, or with my Grandma Flo J. She was/is a gentle soul and affirmed me, and both of my brothers. She was my father’s Mama. Daddy was an only child. He had several stepbrothers but they were all born to my Grandfather from his later marriages. Simply put, you can see the dysfunction/perfect imperfections that were in my family tree. I see forgiveness of myself, allowed me to LOVE myself, and then I was/am able to forgive fully all of my abusers. None of it ever would have been possible had I not chosen to LOVE fully. And that is just surface stuff. Years….of digging, crying, journaling, art therapy, every type of healing method out there…All of it fell short…none ever addressed what you share in detail. All the books and authors you have recommended in your many videos, my husband and I both are reading, taking breaks, doing the trauma digging, crying, and most of all knowing that I see that I deserve to “Enjoy TheJourney”. I am grateful for the compassion you emit in all of your messages. Words really aren’t adequate for my true appreciation. Thank you, Christy🙏🏼💚✨
my circle is trauma fear shame. denial never happened. I never resisted to the truth about what I heared. I took it as the truth but never deny of the meaning
Powerful stuff Kenny. I acknowledge you for having done all the work to heal from the trauma that you went through. Thanks for teaching what you've learned about how to heal. I also went through severe trauma as a child. I have done a tremendous amount of work through the years, and I feel much more comfortable in my skin. Finally, I now have self-confidence. However, at the same time, I am totally aware that I still have that voice in my head from when I was 2 years old. The voice says "I'm not good enough. I don't deserve to be financially wealthy...etc etc". I adopted the harsh voice of my father. I forgive my dad. I know that he was treated horribly and that he did the best he could. I've been aware of my self-defeating voice for many years. I just don't know how to get rid of it. I'm going to buy your book. At some point I may do your master class if I can't get by this on my own.
This is good stuff! Thank you for your passion and wonderful presentation. Have had many jobs and many failed romantic relationships. The thought that I will forever be stuck in this cycle scares the hell out of me and brings deep sadness, but these videos are so enlightening and invigorating. Thank you!
This is the first time I heard someone differentiate between guilt and shame . I always believe guilt is healthy to improve. Thank you for these very valuable videos
I have been in therapy with a shaman healer who has been teaching me all of this and to help me get into the pain and feel it . However, i too have been holding on to my false power still needing mommy or my ex who stands in for my fathers who left me and one abused me. Self defense is there to protect the little one, but it's that little one who is needing me to protect her. I love your channel~~~~ This is helping me feel connected to like minded people who know the truth~~~~ Thank U~!!!!
No wonder I never wanted to pick up a psychology book through my self help years, or take the class in college. Damn. Ok, i see it. It hurts but I gotta do this. Thank u Kenny.
Hi Kenny, I just got done watching your self sabotage video, very informative and liberating as are all your videos. Here's my dalema, I'm 40 and live in an economically failing country in Africa. Here we can't get work unless we have connections. Even if I wanted to find a job, won't get it. I've come to tearns with this, however I've struggled with successing in business no matter how small. At the tender ages of 8,9 and 10, my mom used to tell me I'd never amount to anything. That I'll be a nobody and a nothing. Well let's just say I've done her proud because I'm exactly that. I fought all these years to prove her wrong, but I've failed dismally. I've always wanted to be a fashion designer, but when I attended a college for fashion designing I didn't like the work and processes that went into creating garments. I feel I've let that little girl down. Just recently I've really fallen in love with baking, but I'm fearful of failure. I started a bachelor of education 13 years ago I didn't complete it even though I passed my bridging course with distinctions. Now I'm sitting without a career. I studied short courses passed them all with distinctions, but I never applied any of them. I'm still living in my mother's house. I could get married and move out, but I don't want to go from frying pan to fire and add on more drama to my life. To date, my mother discourages me and withholds information from me, I believe it's because she doesn't want me to leave, but the funny thing is she has my sister, her golden child. I just don't understand why she can't let me go. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't gamble. I don't want to live here with my mother. I feel stuck. Help me heal whatever is going on in my mind.
Wow. You're so brilliant. My parent's did the whole don't talk to me like that, go to your room thing, etc. i never felt like i could tell them anything. I did things to helpself feel better. Made plenty of bad life choices.etc.
Thank you for helping me see my truth and why I have been self sabotaging my own success all of my life! I finally get it! Now, I start my new journey with my eyes open and greater awareness…thank again! You are a Godsend! I prayed to gain more awareness of myself and my life and you helped me get rid of the need to say to myself that I did not play a part in it. I feel such a sense of unconditional love for myself for not being being aware and am now empowered to move forward in my life to take 💯 responsibility for my own choices and how I respond to what is happening around me right in my life. It’s all up to me to heal myself and live with authenticity…feeling very grateful to you and to myself for Gods grace and love! God bless you! 🙏❤️🙏❤️
Kenny, I’m in shock. This is video is another info packed gem! I need a day to process but know your videos will provide the explanations I’ve needed for years to fix the trauma. I can’t thank you enough! But will try- I was a little kid but remember you as a goalie, you were (and are) awesome. 💪🏼 Your sub base will quadruple soon. The quality and quantity of useful information found in your channel is first- rate. Take care of yourself. 👊🏻🔥
I've recently been learning these things, though not in the depth you get into. I also have been catching myself on a daily basis, creating the same life for my children, and I know it's wrong, and again, I catch myself.... I need help making that change!! I need to create a different life for my children, can I help them heal from the damage I've caused before it's too late??
you are so good at the details of WHAT! AND WHY!! I have been living as a ten year old running and moving and I didn't know until now.. I am 60. Today I am teaching myself to cook a pot roast.
OMG!! thank you so much. God brought u into my life today. I am in my late 50s and was reconsidering my life, because my health is challenged and I have been a people pleaser Now I am aware of the WORST DAY CYCLE. I just bought your book from Barnes and nobles. I am ready to do the work. Thank you sooooooooooooo much. Xoxo
Isn’t it funny how things work? You are so welcome. 😁 Once you read my book if you need a program and plan to heal the worst day cycle I have a whole online university that will walk you through the complete healing process to get your life back.
Your videos teach me a lot in my now long healing process to reclaim myself. Raised with violence and thought it should look like this. Also seeing how I was formed to have no self but honestly let men beat me mock me. But lived like a dog and let others totally rule over me. But this time when it just happened what you describe, my little inner child jumped out and started to go into fawn. But also that something inside me screamed no. Also said to myself. I feel like my mom. She lived like this with my dad and with her second husband for 18 years. I got mom's programming. But in this self-sabotage thing, it wasn't actually self-sabotage. My body could handle it no more. Chosen myself. So it became a self-sabotage to actually go in a totally new direction. Break everything. Including my own programming. Also to start choosing myself.
I like a lot of people watching this have read all the self help books to help me with the trauma of emotional neglect and sexual abuse from my childhood, and found they helped for a short while but, there I was back to where I started feeling depressed anxious again. It's been exhausting fighting this inner battle all of my adult life, what am I missing?. I think Kenny has the answer, a lot of what he says resonates with me. Have bought his book and reading the reviews on it, I am hoping I am on my home finally?
I can definitely relate to that hamster wheel and. I know I have found success with the process I teach and thousands of others have found success as well. It’s not a quick fix, it takes time. But, there is a pronounce difference that comes over us immediately when we start doing the work that I talk about. If you’re interested, I would also suggest you sign up for my free master class. It walks you through how to begin the healing process and everything I talk about in my book. And it comes at a great price… Free🎉😁
thank you for the masterclass Kenny.. such valid truth to seek (esteem) all the world right from high school as students need this in syllabus as part of the global education process; marvellous.
@@kennyweiss it's a huge help, most people try to shut us down, man or woman up and keep moving forward but if we deny our truth we're living inauthentically. So thank you Kenny. And best of luck in your healing Barbara. Much love xxxx
I’m just hearing this today for the first time and I sure needed to hear it. It’s beautiful and I thank you very much. It’s beautiful and healing for me. ❤
Oh my goodness, this is enlightening and brought me to tears of both pain and joy. I think this is why I became a special education teacher. Now that I am healing and finding my true self I realize that I would never allow myself to pursue professional voice even though it was a passion of mine and my college voice class professor encouraged me to. I realized too that my husband's dismissiveness and avoidance of me emotionally is alot like my mother's. The things we choose subconsiously because of our trauma are pivotal. This is crucial informtation! Thank you so much for explaining this all as succinctly as you did!
Yes it’s called the worst day cycle. I think you’d enjoy my book and it would help you make sense of all of this. I lay out the full process in my book
I have been chasing down all these concepts about trauma, healing, etc for quite some time. I just *love* how you pull it all together in a very succinct and relatable way. There is a treasure trove of experience and information you are pulling together here. From what I have learned, proper attachment is so incredibly vital to human development. I would love to hear more from you on that topic.
Thank you very much I’m really glad it resonates with you and pulls everything together for you. I’ve talked about the attachment needs in various videos but I really get into it deeply in my book. If you have not picked up a copy of it suggest doing so. I think you would really enjoy it and it would really make all of the stuff concrete for you
@@kennyweiss Yes, I have heard you touch on attachment in other vids, but I am happy to hear you go in depth in your book. A copy is on it's way into my hands at this very moment. Thank you for your response!
I understand it, I see it, and have done the damage control since 2002 but still I hear sentences regarding me and money, career and love. My goal is to find myself and reinvent myself. I feel I’ve started 6 lives and have finished them. On the 7th version now Thanks for your words.
100% . . . Words spoken in gesture is just as deep and damaging. The intense pain of non approval and you are never gonna be free from your problems....just let it go, instead of giving you their full support. 🤦🏼♂️😖😪
I wondered if I could ask anyone who would know about a way of knowing the steps to publishing a book ? Any advice would surely be appreciated , peace , love, Light 🦋💯🌻✨️
Wow, incredible how many dots you have connected for me and others, THANKS, Kenny! 🙏 Immensely useful on my healing journey. Yes, my life story is proof... 🤔😅 I love the way you explained the brain's tendency to choose easy well-troden shortcuts. I do believe though that there is more conscious parenting emerging on the planet alongside the majority of still passing on the wounds. The most wholesome movie I've watched "The Legend of the Weeping Camel" deeply touched me because of the relationships between people in Mongolian desert. I was in awe at how CONNECTED AND AUTHENTIC they were. It's a story of a family's everyday life. Simply beautiful. Sending you a hug from Slovenia
My parents divorced each other, and 1 year later, they divorced us and their children, even though we were in the same house. I suffered for 13 years, all kinds of trauma happened to me. Now, I understood feel ignored even when we are together at home. It took 13 years for me to realize that I would never find the love I wanted, and that I would never be cared for.I'm leaving home, this time I won't come back again
One of those videos I can watch over and over which provides/enhance reasons for personal growth Has a parent or a sibling ever yell at you? How To Stop Self-Sabotage: Conquering the Worst Day Cycle 1.5K views · 9 months ago 😟 4 stages Worse Day Cycle Trauma Fear Shame Denial Your video such an answer to why prayers 🙏 Why we self sabotage and feeling defeated so insightful providing foresight to answer the question/s that many search an answer to Thank you Kenny Fr Une de ces vidéos que je peux regarder encore et encore qui fournit/renforce les raisons de la croissance personnelle Un parent ou un frère ou une sœur vous a-t-il déjà crié dessus ? Comment arrêter l'auto-sabotage : Conquérir le pire cycle de la journée 1.5K vues · il y a 9 mois 😟 4 étapes Pire cycle de jour Traumatisme Peur Honte Le déni(renier) Votre vidéo une telle réponse à pourquoi les prières 🙏 Pourquoi nous nous auto-sabotons et nous sentons vaincus si perspicaces vous partager la prévoyance sur cet question que beaucoup Cherche la réponse Merçi Kenny
Hi! By studying your material I can see how I choose a career in music and put my self in many situations that I felt shame and inadequacy. Specially in the classical world I first pursued, I grew up with a lot of dysfunction, addiction etc. I later switched to jazz which I prefer (more freedom) but still very competitive. My father is also a musician and me becoming a musician could be to be better than him or be seen. But I still love music and think it’s still for me. Working on being more kind to myself and accepting my imperfect/perfections, had a lot of issues with perfectionism but it’s getting. Wonder if you have any advice with staying in the music business without self-sabotaging?
Jesus Christ...this is me...i fail at everything beyond subsistence . Something always destroys my efforts in a way I couldn't see coming so it can't be avoided . Also Fathers shout REALLY hurts sensitive young ears..... shattering to the core. It's to the point I have given up trying new ventures because i know they will fail I just try to find moments of happiness and wait to leave this world . Thank god for my one or two friends who treat me like family...they would help me dispose of a body.
This is brilliant, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and knowledge in a very easy to understand way. You speak to my soul, I hear you. I laugh with you I have loved every video I have listened to. I had the worst childhood imaginable and I started doing the work 28 years ago, with the John Bradshaw books and Homecoming courses here in Australia. Just recently I knew I had to take another look at shame and that when I found you. Thank you ❤️🙏💜
omg...is this what you mean ' the wort day cycle' ....this is structure!!!!!❤❤you are an emotion civil engineer...honestly I picked up 70% of what you are saying and I don't recognize 30% of the rest.... is like non existed....this is different in a good way🤔🤔😊😊👍👍
Where have you been all my life? WOW!!!!!!! All this time looking for someone like you! 😲😲😲 I will heal myself now! 💕💕💕💕 And FREE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!*!*!*! OMG!
Many, many thanks. On some level I knew all of this, but it's hard to get the impact it has on today, especially since my parents died 34 years ago. They are still with me, in my head. As you say, they didn't know any better, but, damn, they fucked me up. Pardon the language, but ugh. I am still trying to figure it all out.
No need to apologize. Sometimes only a swear word can communicate the depth and impact of what we are feeling. I am happy my information is helping you!
So is the losing of attachment what causes anxiety in adulthood. Subconscious fear that if I go for my authentic self suddenly I feel anxiety and that something is wrong. Am I interpreting this correctly? Because every time I try to change something in my life I feel overwhelming anxiety so that anxiety must be the fear of losing attachment to our parents. But I am long ago independent and free from them but you see how this program still runs in our subconscious mind! Wow. Thank you Kenny
So Kenny..... I'm not denieing the trama that I went through....and that's effecting my whole life.... I don't even know myself..... but I don't know what to do from here.....where to go from this point? I'm just.... Feeling so impatient on the steps I need to take from here.idk.....I suppose I'll just take a breath and take it day by day .....
I can appreciate that. In the beginning everyone wants to get to the end it’s very normal to feel that way. This video is part of the process. Pick one of those traumas and begin healing it using the steps I discussed in the video. If you want to take it further, I have Masterclasses that walk you through the whole process from beginning to end
Ouch. Touché..... This one is so full of truths I need to pace myself and watch it over a few times. Wow, I thought I was so savvy handling life's curveballs.... It was just a sub-conscious script? I am not pursuing my own self to keep the attachment to my parents instead of succeeding.... Hit the nail on the head.
I've always wondered that. If you are mad at the goverment and cops why did they burn down their own neighborhoods , the stores in their own blocks owned by minority themselfs, burn down and graffiti their own neighborhoods, I've always wondered why poor people almost always have really dirty houses, and usually super hoarded (I know I grew up in it) I always thought, tossing garbage and a little cleaning doesn't cost money so why don't they do it?? That makes total sense why. (I'm not saying only low income people live in dirty hoarded houses either?. It's just something I noticed)
It is hell out there …All this I saw in my husband , having no confidence when I married him . Supported and taught him all only to discover myself abused by him . He wanted to be what I was but was not so was jealous and so took out all his Narcissism on me . Today my daughter has become a Natcissist too and abusing my son , because she was kept under control by my husband . I am all the time fighting with my daughter to not abuse my son as he would not grow up to be a confident man.
„Today my daughter has become a narcissist too“ Look, I don’t know your situation and if you’re actually this deep in, you’re going to be defending it anyway But has it ever occurred that while you FELT powerless in many situations and in some probably were, your children were objectively powerless in that situation. Your daughter is probably doing what you should have done, sticking up for herself but since she now learned that living with a man is probably unsafe in general, she is keeping him small so he can never do what she has witnessed happening to you. Why would your daughter respect you, the one who allowed for abuse to happen (maybe not in the moments, but in the long run)? If you call your children a narcissist, guess what you are! A covert one. Some who needs to see their own goodness by having a villain around because without a villain, what are you? Stop labeling your daughter as a narcissist, my mother would do that and only when I departed from her did I stop showing any sign of selfishness. And I hope THE HELL that you’re not planning on sticking with your husband. In the best case you have already left as I‘m typing this.
@@Catvalentain Hello, I totally relate. Same here, husband introverted in the beginning. After, I have notice some kind of envy. The main symptoms I have seen in him are that if I did sports, he also increased his sports sessions, as if it were a competition, he started to copy my gestures, even my way of talking. It seemed strange to me, but I understood it when he started to despise me for no apparent reason and to want to belittle me and denigrate me in front of the children. Since he earned more money than me, he always threw it in my face. What I recommend is to set limits on these behaviors from the beginning and in front of the children so that they learn that they are not right. You do not insult mom, you do not shout at mom, etc. and keep boundaries. As punishment for my limits, he began to criticize me and try to humiliate me, and I set more limits and told him that if he continued like this, I would leave the house and ask for a divorce. Since he saw that I was serious about my limits and the issue of divorce, we decided that it was time for him to go to therapy to heal his childhood wounds. To my son, I give him all the love, limits and respect possible so that he does not become his father.
I was emotional, mentally, sexual and physically abused as a child. I was abandoned by my mother. And abused by both parents. The only closest person in my life was my step mother.
@@kennyweiss When I was a little girl, say four or five, after some silly infraction by me that my mother witnessed, she would get my playmates to sing along with her, "Shame, shame on Debbie." While all singing, my mother would show them how to rub their one index finger against the other. At times I think I had an out-of-body experience, the humiliation was so overwhelming.
All you books.tapes, videos are great. But it is exhausting after years of trying to find answers, to have to go thru an encyclopedia for answers. Absolutely no criticism. You are doing good work. Wish it could be somewhat simpler.
What if we are in a functional frozen state... and instead of making "bad" decisions... we won't make any decisions... paralysis due to pursuing perfection. Also, is it not possible that we are inaccurately projecting our trauma perceptions onto others... even though they are not actually doing what we are perceiving? In deep gratitude!
Hi. 🌸🌸. I did get it to play. Thank you. I watched the video and I have many comments to make and questions to ask. In my life, I’ve accepted responsibility for my actions and I realize I chose my circumstances but I’m not doing well at all still. I’m scared to death, literally
lol … not really funny but, I finally got the guts when I was a child to ask my dad if he would see if my mom could stop calling me names. Yeah, he ignored my worry. I realized there was no safe adult around me, so no one knew what was going on at home. Children are innately aware of what is dangerous.
I want to add that children are also naturally advocates for themselves, especially the run aways. I was one and I look back and didn’t realize how much self worth I had because I was willing to take my self out of the situation. I just didn’t see that until a few weeks ago when I wondered how I know I have self worth. That young girl I was left a trail for me to discover that there is worth to my life.
This sort of explains why so many prostitutes get into the game after rape, I saw a documentary and was very surprised their choices having heard their backstory but this would be it. Also from what you describe it looks like Prince Harry is going through therapy publically and published his 'hate letter' as a book?! If someone is mean to you as you are today, says or does something hurtful but walks away so you cannot respond - how do you deal with that new emotion?
So what does it mean what does it mean when you are a daughter of an Infidelity. Watching your videos have brought up so many parts of my life too much for me to handle don't know what to do
Discipline should not be mistaken for trauma such as saying ‘no don’t do that’ And there has been less than perfect parenting since Adam and Eve. Look at Cain and Abel.
Do we fear we'll lose the attachment to our parents or do we actually lose it by healing ourselves? Is that attachment something we need to lose? Do I stay attached to stay that traumatized child?
Because we are all human and perfectly imperfect all of us will make mistakes and initiate the worst day cycle in our children. That’s just a fact of life. That doesn’t make us bad people or bad parents. The secret, is to take ownership of that and become aware of how our perfect imperfections show up so that in the moment or later on when we recognize them, we can make amends to our children. That’s how we teach them how to overcome their cycle and generation after generation we make the cycle less and less powerful. All of this is about learning to have a new relationship with ourselves and instead of feeling so terrible and awful about our mistakes learning to embrace them and love them and recognize they are the secret and the open door to our loving ourselves completely. That’s the problem, society has told us to avoid our pain, to not admit our perfect imperfections to our self and that’s why we can’t admit these things and we get so afraid that we’re going to make a mistake. That belief system created the worst day cycle and it keeps it alive.
That’s a great question. Use the process. Ask yourself, what am I feeling, where are my body and my feeling it, what’s my first memory of having this feeling? What you’re going to discover is that in that moment, your past unhealed pain and trauma was triggered. Therefore you put your mother or your father or brother or sister‘s face on top of mine. You thought you wanted to tune me out but in reality you just wanted to tune out the pain you haven’t healed. Use the process I discuss in the video and you’ll be able to find the source of the unhealed pain and be able to move through it so that you don’t project that pain onto other people. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability
I'm grateful to have Aspergers. Gives me the chance to script interactions and think in different ways honestly. Your videos are very helpful. I want to give you some reasons on why I haven;t pulled the trigger on your courses. Eventually, I will buy courses. If only because I must invest in myself if I'm to take my predicament seriously. Must do it. Otherwise I'm not really listening. Only faking myself. "GEESH GET OFF OF ME!" (hugging dad when he returned from Vietnam) " HE'S THE VILLAGE IDIOT!" (Hiding under the bed as a game to find me). Was shocked to my core but didn;t cry. I concluded I don't need anyone. My mantra th-cam.com/video/UgAFcvIw8J4/w-d-xo.html
48 years old and learning all this stuff about myself. I still have a lot of life ahead of me but can’t help but to feel bad about all the time I’ve lost/wasted while spinning in the trauma fog 🥺💔
The same, so stupid we had to endure all that pain and bad decisions. Whom to blame? God, I guess.
All this I saw in my husband , having no confidence when I married him . Supported and taught him all only to discover myself abused by him . He wanted to be what I was but was not so was jealous and so took out all his Narcissism on me . Today my daughter has become a Natcissist too and abusing my son , because she was kept under control by my husband . I am all the time fighting with my daughter to not abuse my son as he would not grow up to be a confident man.
I hear y0u Rekha, I have been thrugh same with my ex husband. Nw, I am grateful t0 see my patterns.. @@rekhaahluwalia2439
It feels like people in this society are just not ready to take in this truthful information. It feels like society is so narcissistic. SOO full of denial. I wish there were more views on these worst day cycle videos.
Yes seems like everybody is so disconnected from themselves. We all run away from ourself but we are all unique creatures but we are so scared of it. I think it’s even more the society then even parents who imposes on us the way we should look or be to be accepted. The stupid status symbols or possessions or titles. Then even when you heal, if you have next to you a person who is disconnected from themselves, do not know who they are, Gosh that makes me feel lonely ! 😢
I am watching your videos for almost 4 days now. I realize that something wasn't right in the way I live my life. And then suddenly it hit, I am living my life exactly as my mom, rest her soul as she died 20 years ago. Deny, run away form difficult situations and have no sense of control, her way or the high way. I am self-sabotaging myself with this believe and this will stop today! Getting to my authentic self. I will get out of The worst day cycle by seeing things for what they are. We are all broken pieces in a puzzle raised by imperfect parents.
Just sitting here in tears accepting these truths...But grateful to become aware.
Grieving is part of the journey to reclaiming our Authentic self and healing from our pain
Kenny, I’d like to express my deepest gratitude for all of your videos, especially this one. I’ve listened to many academics and other experts talk on these topics and read numerous books for about 3 decades and I have never heard any one speak with such clarity and astounding insight and healing truth. I believe you are bringing mental health and freedom from confusion to so many people who have never had it before. 🙏 from Susan, Sydney.
I am happy what I teach is a help to you. ;-)
@@kennyweiss Sir , you are some living Buddah or Saint...i feel am going be sick as the realization sinks in of how I wasted my life.
You are a gift to humanity and to reform all of us to break generational curses. Thank you. If possible someday in future, I would be honoured to meet you. God bless you.
Maybe one day!
Even now, after much psych study and in my career (at 68) now..I fully understand my childhood trauma, it was real ..
I finally understand what I've been going through all these years .Thank you. Please continue to teach to people like me who are confuse and struggle with fears daily. God bless.
You are so welcome and I’m happy to hear that life finally makes sense. If you need more free resources I have an online magazine site filled with articles and videos and exercises you can download to help you on the journey to recovery. If you’re interested here’s the link
www.thegreatnessuniversity.com/
@@kennyweiss Thank you
@@camillegriffin7863 you bet
Once you understand this fully you can put into play and continue the path to healing and emotional mastery. Thanks Kenny
6:15, 7:40** 9:04, 10:08,
Denial = we minimise, suppress, repress and condone.
Fear = Rejection, inadequacy of powerlessness.
Emotional chemical addiction, doesn't process on what's right or wrong, just known and unknown ( it's the familiar cycles) 11:18, 12:50, 17:20, 18:55
We can't outrun ourselves! I felt that Kenny👍💗 23:00
Im so grateful for have found you. You speak with such a passion it's evident you broke through the worst day cycle and have found your passion. You are helping people wake up who have fallen asleep behind the wheel. You are saving lives. I ordered your book and have watched just about all of your free content at this point. I'm 36 years old and its scary to look myself in the mirror and still see a stranger. This video has helped lift the fog immensely. Taking ownership in my own trauma is step 1. Better late than never!
10:30 fear of rejection, fear of inadequacy, and fear of powerlessness. 😢
Yes!!! Tyvm for the information again! I have shared this with all of my adult children, as well. I see where my perfect imperfections were projected onto all three of them. I take full ownership. 🙏🏼💯 I know emotionally, especially now, after using your book, feelings, chart, journaling for about 7 months 3xs a day the 6 ?s…whew! I see so much Beauty in my life that is there, and has always been there. I just couldn’t truly accept that I deserved to be blessed with these wonderful memories, because of the traumas that were overshadowing my life. The self-sabotage, and the healing from those horrific abuses you mention…I was that child…and I knew something was wrong with my life, when I was @ my friend’s house for the night, and I asked her puzzled…”you mean you don’t have to get in your father’s lap at night & kiss him goodnight?” She looked bewildered & replied “no, why would I?” That was a major “aha” moment… plus Not many friends ever came to my home but maybe once. It wasn’t a safe space. I felt so isolated, yet never projected anything but happy Christy & if I ever tried to share my feelings, well, I was being a Sarah Bernhardt or I was exaggerating. That taught me @ a very young age not to bother my Mother. Be perfect. I felt most @ peace or felt true Serenity out in nature, riding my pony Freddy bareback, or with my Grandma Flo J. She was/is a gentle soul and affirmed me, and both of my brothers. She was my father’s Mama. Daddy was an only child. He had several stepbrothers but they were all born to my Grandfather from his later marriages. Simply put, you can see the dysfunction/perfect imperfections that were in my family tree. I see forgiveness of myself, allowed me to LOVE myself, and then I was/am able to forgive fully all of my abusers. None of it ever would have been possible had I not chosen to LOVE fully. And that is just surface stuff. Years….of digging, crying, journaling, art therapy, every type of healing method out there…All of it fell short…none ever addressed what you share in detail. All the books and authors you have recommended in your many videos, my husband and I both are reading, taking breaks, doing the trauma digging, crying, and most of all knowing that I see that I deserve to “Enjoy TheJourney”. I am grateful for the compassion you emit in all of your messages. Words really aren’t adequate for my true appreciation. Thank you, Christy🙏🏼💚✨
my circle is trauma fear shame. denial never happened. I never resisted to the truth about what I heared. I took it as the truth but never deny of the meaning
Powerful stuff Kenny. I acknowledge you for having done all the work to heal from the trauma that you went through. Thanks for teaching what you've learned about how to heal. I also went through severe trauma as a child. I have done a tremendous amount of work through the years, and I feel much more comfortable in my skin. Finally, I now have self-confidence. However, at the same time, I am totally aware that I still have that voice in my head from when I was 2 years old. The voice says "I'm not good enough. I don't deserve to be financially wealthy...etc etc". I adopted the harsh voice of my father. I forgive my dad. I know that he was treated horribly and that he did the best he could. I've been aware of my self-defeating voice for many years. I just don't know how to get rid of it. I'm going to buy your book. At some point I may do your master class if I can't get by this on my own.
This is good stuff! Thank you for your passion and wonderful presentation. Have had many jobs and many failed romantic relationships. The thought that I will forever be stuck in this cycle scares the hell out of me and brings deep sadness, but these videos are so enlightening and invigorating. Thank you!
This is the first time I heard someone differentiate between guilt and shame . I always believe guilt is healthy to improve. Thank you for these very valuable videos
I have been in therapy with a shaman healer who has been teaching me all of this and to help me get into the pain and feel it . However, i too have been holding on to my false power still needing mommy or my ex who stands in for my fathers who left me and one abused me. Self defense is there to protect the little one, but it's that little one who is needing me to protect her. I love your channel~~~~ This is helping me feel connected to like minded people who know the truth~~~~ Thank U~!!!!
No wonder I never wanted to pick up a psychology book through my self help years, or take the class in college. Damn. Ok, i see it. It hurts but I gotta do this. Thank u Kenny.
Hi Kenny, I just got done watching your self sabotage video, very informative and liberating as are all your videos.
Here's my dalema, I'm 40 and live in an economically failing country in Africa. Here we can't get work unless we have connections. Even if I wanted to find a job, won't get it.
I've come to tearns with this, however I've struggled with successing in business no matter how small.
At the tender ages of 8,9 and 10, my mom used to tell me I'd never amount to anything. That I'll be a nobody and a nothing. Well let's just say I've done her proud because I'm exactly that. I fought all these years to prove her wrong, but I've failed dismally. I've always wanted to be a fashion designer, but when I attended a college for fashion designing I didn't like the work and processes that went into creating garments. I feel I've let that little girl down.
Just recently I've really fallen in love with baking, but I'm fearful of failure. I started a bachelor of education 13 years ago I didn't complete it even though I passed my bridging course with distinctions. Now I'm sitting without a career. I studied short courses passed them all with distinctions, but I never applied any of them.
I'm still living in my mother's house.
I could get married and move out, but I don't want to go from frying pan to fire and add on more drama to my life.
To date, my mother discourages me and withholds information from me, I believe it's because she doesn't want me to leave, but the funny thing is she has my sister, her golden child. I just don't understand why she can't let me go. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't gamble.
I don't want to live here with my mother. I feel stuck.
Help me heal whatever is going on in my mind.
Wow. You're so brilliant. My parent's did the whole don't talk to me like that, go to your room thing, etc. i never felt like i could tell them anything. I did things to helpself feel better. Made plenty of bad life choices.etc.
Thank you for helping me see my truth and why I have been self sabotaging my own success all of my life! I finally get it! Now, I start my new journey with my eyes open and greater awareness…thank again! You are a Godsend! I prayed to gain more awareness of myself and my life and you helped me get rid of the need to say to myself that I did not play a part in it. I feel such a sense of unconditional love for myself for not being being aware and am now empowered to move forward in my life to take 💯 responsibility for my own choices and how I respond to what is happening around me right in my life. It’s all up to me to heal myself and live with authenticity…feeling very grateful to you and to myself for Gods grace and love! God bless you! 🙏❤️🙏❤️
Kenny, I’m in shock. This is video is another info packed gem! I need a day to process but know your videos will provide the explanations I’ve needed for years to fix the trauma. I can’t thank you enough! But will try- I was a little kid but remember you as a goalie, you were (and are) awesome. 💪🏼
Your sub base will quadruple soon. The quality and quantity of useful information found in your channel is first- rate. Take care of yourself. 👊🏻🔥
Thank you for the kind words and more importantly, I’m really happy to hear that what I teach is helping you 😁
I've recently been learning these things, though not in the depth you get into. I also have been catching myself on a daily basis, creating the same life for my children, and I know it's wrong, and again, I catch myself.... I need help making that change!! I need to create a different life for my children, can I help them heal from the damage I've caused before it's too late??
Absolutely!
you are so good at the details of WHAT! AND WHY!! I have been living as a ten year old running and moving and I didn't know until now.. I am 60. Today I am teaching myself to cook a pot roast.
OMG!! thank you so much. God brought u into my life today. I am in my late 50s and was reconsidering my life, because my health is challenged and I have been a people pleaser Now I am aware of the WORST DAY CYCLE. I just bought your book from Barnes and nobles. I am ready to do the work. Thank you sooooooooooooo much. Xoxo
Isn’t it funny how things work? You are so welcome. 😁
Once you read my book if you need a program and plan to heal the worst day cycle I have a whole online university that will walk you through the complete healing process to get your life back.
Your videos teach me a lot in my now long healing process to reclaim myself. Raised with violence and thought it should look like this. Also seeing how I was formed to have no self but honestly let men beat me mock me. But lived like a dog and let others totally rule over me. But this time when it just happened what you describe, my little inner child jumped out and started to go into fawn. But also that something inside me screamed no. Also said to myself. I feel like my mom. She lived like this with my dad and with her second husband for 18 years. I got mom's programming. But in this self-sabotage thing, it wasn't actually self-sabotage. My body could handle it no more. Chosen myself. So it became a self-sabotage to actually go in a totally new direction. Break everything. Including my own programming. Also to start choosing myself.
Phenomenal, super-helpful content. You’re SPOT-ON, Kenny. Thank you.
My pleasure!
I like a lot of people watching this have read all the self help books to help me with the trauma of emotional neglect and sexual abuse from my childhood, and found they helped for a short while but, there I was back to where I started feeling depressed anxious again. It's been exhausting fighting this inner battle all of my adult life, what am I missing?. I think Kenny has the answer, a lot of what he says resonates with me. Have bought his book and reading the reviews on it, I am hoping I am on my home finally?
I can definitely relate to that hamster wheel and. I know I have found success with the process I teach and thousands of others have found success as well. It’s not a quick fix, it takes time. But, there is a pronounce difference that comes over us immediately when we start doing the work that I talk about.
If you’re interested, I would also suggest you sign up for my free master class. It walks you through how to begin the healing process and everything I talk about in my book. And it comes at a great price… Free🎉😁
thank you for the masterclass Kenny.. such valid truth to seek (esteem) all the world right from high school as students need this in syllabus as part of the global education process; marvellous.
Ty this helps a lot I appreciate someone finally laying it all out there and not holding it back. I’m 63 and I suffer still daily. ❣️
You are very welcome. I'm happy it is a help to you.
@@kennyweiss it's a huge help, most people try to shut us down, man or woman up and keep moving forward but if we deny our truth we're living inauthentically. So thank you Kenny. And best of luck in your healing Barbara. Much love xxxx
I’m just hearing this today for the first time and I sure needed to hear it. It’s beautiful and I thank you very much. It’s beautiful and healing for me. ❤
Oh my goodness, this is enlightening and brought me to tears of both pain and joy. I think this is why I became a special education teacher. Now that I am healing and finding my true self I realize that I would never allow myself to pursue professional voice even though it was a passion of mine and my college voice class professor encouraged me to. I realized too that my husband's dismissiveness and avoidance of me emotionally is alot like my mother's. The things we choose subconsiously because of our trauma are pivotal. This is crucial informtation! Thank you so much for explaining this all as succinctly as you did!
Yes it’s called the worst day cycle. I think you’d enjoy my book and it would help you make sense of all of this. I lay out the full process in my book
@@kennyweiss Thanks! I ordered your book :)
@@anewchapter1336 Wonderful, enjoy the journey. :-)
This information is amazing !
He is so right and explained so many questions i’ve had my entire life.
I'm really enjoying this channel. I'm on this journey right now. We are a soft culture, but it's needed.
I have been chasing down all these concepts about trauma, healing, etc for quite some time. I just *love* how you pull it all together in a very succinct and relatable way. There is a treasure trove of experience and information you are pulling together here.
From what I have learned, proper attachment is so incredibly vital to human development. I would love to hear more from you on that topic.
Thank you very much I’m really glad it resonates with you and pulls everything together for you. I’ve talked about the attachment needs in various videos but I really get into it deeply in my book. If you have not picked up a copy of it suggest doing so. I think you would really enjoy it and it would really make all of the stuff concrete for you
@@kennyweiss Yes, I have heard you touch on attachment in other vids, but I am happy to hear you go in depth in your book. A copy is on it's way into my hands at this very moment. Thank you for your response!
@@BlessedWithEight well I’m happy to hear you enjoy my videos and I I’m hopeful you’ll enjoy my book as well. :-)
Well get out of my life peoples concept of friendship my ex just wanted to hang out with ppl it made it worse
I understand it, I see it, and have done the damage control since 2002 but still I hear sentences regarding me and money, career and love.
My goal is to find myself and reinvent myself. I feel I’ve started 6 lives and have finished them.
On the 7th version now
Thanks for your words.
You’re welcome 😁
Yes xxxx I can’t learn anymore. Then I look in the mirror and that’s not me
100% . . . Words spoken in gesture is just as deep and damaging. The intense pain of non approval and you are never gonna be free from your problems....just let it go, instead of giving you their full support. 🤦🏼♂️😖😪
I have one HUGE story!!! It relates to this entire video, Peace, Love, light!! ✨️🦋🌻🙌👍
I wondered if I could ask anyone who would know about a way of knowing the steps to publishing a book ? Any advice would surely be appreciated , peace , love, Light 🦋💯🌻✨️
Wow, incredible how many dots you have connected for me and others, THANKS, Kenny! 🙏 Immensely useful on my healing journey. Yes, my life story is proof... 🤔😅 I love the way you explained the brain's tendency to choose easy well-troden shortcuts.
I do believe though that there is more conscious parenting emerging on the planet alongside the majority of still passing on the wounds.
The most wholesome movie I've watched "The Legend of the Weeping Camel" deeply touched me because of the relationships between people in Mongolian desert. I was in awe at how CONNECTED AND AUTHENTIC they were. It's a story of a family's everyday life. Simply beautiful. Sending you a hug from Slovenia
My parents divorced each other, and 1 year later, they divorced us and their children, even though we were in the same house. I suffered for 13 years, all kinds of trauma happened to me. Now, I understood feel ignored even when we are together at home. It took 13 years for me to realize that I would never find the love I wanted, and that I would never be cared for.I'm leaving home, this time I won't come back again
One of those videos I can watch over and over which provides/enhance reasons for personal growth
Has a parent or a sibling ever yell at you?
How To Stop Self-Sabotage: Conquering the Worst Day Cycle
1.5K views · 9 months ago
😟
4 stages
Worse Day Cycle
Trauma Fear Shame
Denial
Your video such an answer to why prayers 🙏
Why we self sabotage and feeling defeated so insightful providing foresight to answer the question/s that many search an answer to
Thank you Kenny
Fr
Une de ces vidéos que je peux regarder encore et encore qui fournit/renforce les raisons de la croissance personnelle
Un parent ou un frère ou une sœur vous a-t-il déjà crié dessus ?
Comment arrêter l'auto-sabotage : Conquérir le pire cycle de la journée
1.5K vues · il y a 9 mois
😟
4 étapes
Pire cycle de jour
Traumatisme Peur Honte
Le déni(renier)
Votre vidéo une telle réponse à pourquoi les prières 🙏
Pourquoi nous nous auto-sabotons et nous sentons vaincus si perspicaces vous partager la prévoyance sur cet question que beaucoup Cherche la réponse
Merçi Kenny
You are very welcome
Hi! By studying your material I can see how I choose a career in music and put my self in many situations that I felt shame and inadequacy. Specially in the classical world I first pursued, I grew up with a lot of dysfunction, addiction etc. I later switched to jazz which I prefer (more freedom) but still very competitive. My father is also a musician and me becoming a musician could be to be better than him or be seen.
But I still love music and think it’s still for me. Working on being more kind to myself and accepting my imperfect/perfections, had a lot of issues with perfectionism but it’s getting. Wonder if you have any advice with staying in the music business without self-sabotaging?
Jesus Christ...this is me...i fail at everything beyond subsistence . Something always destroys my efforts in a way I couldn't see coming so it can't be avoided . Also Fathers shout REALLY hurts sensitive young ears..... shattering to the core. It's to the point I have given up trying new ventures because i know they will fail I just try to find moments of happiness and wait to leave this world . Thank god for my one or two friends who treat me like family...they would help me dispose of a body.
That was so necessary! I will enjoy the journey and I surrender.
Gracias!
Thank you Kenny. I am ordering your book right now!
This is brilliant, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and knowledge in a very easy to understand way. You speak to my soul, I hear you. I laugh with you I have loved every video I have listened to. I had the worst childhood imaginable and I started doing the work 28 years ago, with the John Bradshaw books and Homecoming courses here in Australia. Just recently I knew I had to take another look at shame and that when I found you. Thank you ❤️🙏💜
Wonderful! I'm glad I could help! 😁
omg...is this what you mean ' the wort day cycle' ....this is structure!!!!!❤❤you are an emotion civil engineer...honestly I picked up 70% of what you are saying and I don't recognize 30% of the rest.... is like non existed....this is different in a good way🤔🤔😊😊👍👍
Where have you been all my life? WOW!!!!!!! All this time looking for someone like you! 😲😲😲 I will heal myself now! 💕💕💕💕 And FREE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!*!*!*! OMG!
Thank you so much for giving me the chance to choose differently. ❤
Many, many thanks. On some level I knew all of this, but it's hard to get the impact it has on today, especially since my parents died 34 years ago. They are still with me, in my head. As you say, they didn't know any better, but, damn, they fucked me up. Pardon the language, but ugh. I am still trying to figure it all out.
No need to apologize. Sometimes only a swear word can communicate the depth and impact of what we are feeling. I am happy my information is helping you!
🌸🌸🌸🌸
Thanks again Kenny ❤
Wonderful golden nuggets to walk away with
Zoveel herkenning. ❤
So true,
Thanks for the video 😊❤
Wow, God bless you and keep you, what we know and do not know drives us
You are digital messiah ❤
So is the losing of attachment what causes anxiety in adulthood. Subconscious fear that if I go for my authentic self suddenly I feel anxiety and that something is wrong. Am I interpreting this correctly? Because every time I try to change something in my life I feel overwhelming anxiety so that anxiety must be the fear of losing attachment to our parents. But I am long ago independent and free from them but you see how this program still runs in our subconscious mind! Wow. Thank you Kenny
Yes, that is exactly what happens. We are still not truly independent
Omg. Wow..this is so true..thank you
You are so welcome
Thank y0u Dear Kenny Weiss.
You are so very welcome
Spot on.
I tried to speak my truth, and I was called a liar.
Ditto!
Kenny, I couldn't help but see the picture in the background of your younger self with long hair.
Totally relate and thankyou so much so very helpful.
You are so welcome!
You are great. Ill b Tuning in.
I Am wounded
I am sad to hear that. I hoped this helped you.
Brilliant! Thank you 🙏!
You are so welcome!
So Kenny..... I'm not denieing the trama that I went through....and that's effecting my whole life.... I don't even know myself..... but I don't know what to do from here.....where to go from this point? I'm just.... Feeling so impatient on the steps I need to take from here.idk.....I suppose I'll just take a breath and take it day by day .....
I can appreciate that. In the beginning everyone wants to get to the end it’s very normal to feel that way.
This video is part of the process. Pick one of those traumas and begin healing it using the steps I discussed in the video.
If you want to take it further, I have Masterclasses that walk you through the whole process from beginning to end
Thanks Kenny.
Of course. :-)
Is it possible to have not attached to anyone. I feel I spent my whole life protecting myself from people
Yes, many people because of the unhealed pain in their childhood will not allow themselves to attach as adults
I feel the same... I've asked myself that very question countless times lately..
Ouch. Touché.....
This one is so full of truths I need to pace myself and watch it over a few times.
Wow, I thought I was so savvy handling life's curveballs....
It was just a sub-conscious script? I am not pursuing my own self to keep the attachment to my parents instead of succeeding....
Hit the nail on the head.
My self sabatage is so bad that I not even functioning. Having trouble with even ADL’s. I’m too embarrassed to say what I do and don’t do
Thanks Kenny, Curious Do you have a relationship with your brother now?
I've always wondered that. If you are mad at the goverment and cops why did they burn down their own neighborhoods , the stores in their own blocks owned by minority themselfs, burn down and graffiti their own neighborhoods, I've always wondered why poor people almost always have really dirty houses, and usually super hoarded (I know I grew up in it) I always thought, tossing garbage and a little cleaning doesn't cost money so why don't they do it?? That makes total sense why. (I'm not saying only low income people live in dirty hoarded houses either?. It's just something I noticed)
It is hell out there …All this I saw in my husband , having no confidence when I married him . Supported and taught him all only to discover myself abused by him . He wanted to be what I was but was not so was jealous and so took out all his Narcissism on me . Today my daughter has become a Natcissist too and abusing my son , because she was kept under control by my husband . I am all the time fighting with my daughter to not abuse my son as he would not grow up to be a confident man.
„Today my daughter has become a narcissist too“
Look, I don’t know your situation and if you’re actually this deep in, you’re going to be defending it anyway
But has it ever occurred that while you FELT powerless in many situations and in some probably were, your children were objectively powerless in that situation.
Your daughter is probably doing what you should have done, sticking up for herself but since she now learned that living with a man is probably unsafe in general, she is keeping him small so he can never do what she has witnessed happening to you.
Why would your daughter respect you, the one who allowed for abuse to happen (maybe not in the moments, but in the long run)?
If you call your children a narcissist, guess what you are! A covert one.
Some who needs to see their own goodness by having a villain around because without a villain, what are you?
Stop labeling your daughter as a narcissist, my mother would do that and only when I departed from her did I stop showing any sign of selfishness. And I hope THE HELL that you’re not planning on sticking with your husband. In the best case you have already left as I‘m typing this.
@@Catvalentain Hello, I totally relate. Same here, husband introverted in the beginning. After, I have notice some kind of envy.
The main symptoms I have seen in him are that if I did sports, he also increased his sports sessions, as if it were a competition, he started to copy my gestures, even my way of talking. It seemed strange to me, but I understood it when he started to despise me for no apparent reason and to want to belittle me and denigrate me in front of the children.
Since he earned more money than me, he always threw it in my face.
What I recommend is to set limits on these behaviors from the beginning and in front of the children so that they learn that they are not right.
You do not insult mom, you do not shout at mom, etc. and keep boundaries.
As punishment for my limits, he began to criticize me and try to humiliate me, and I set more limits and told him that if he continued like this, I would leave the house and ask for a divorce. Since he saw that I was serious about my limits and the issue of divorce, we decided that it was time for him to go to therapy to heal his childhood wounds.
To my son, I give him all the love, limits and respect possible so that he does not become his father.
I was emotional, mentally, sexual and physically abused as a child. I was abandoned by my mother. And abused by both parents. The only closest person in my life was my step mother.
🌸🌸🌸🌸
excellent video!
Glad you liked it!
Been doing this for decades!!
I hope this video helped then!
@@kennyweiss When I was a little girl, say four or five, after some silly infraction by me that my mother witnessed, she would get my playmates to sing along with her, "Shame, shame on Debbie." While all singing, my mother would show them how to rub their one index finger against the other. At times I think I had an out-of-body experience, the humiliation was so overwhelming.
All you books.tapes, videos are great. But it is exhausting after years of trying to find answers, to have to go thru an encyclopedia for answers.
Absolutely no criticism. You are doing good work.
Wish it could be somewhat simpler.
I'm always happy to recommend one of my resources if you're looking for help with anything specific?
@@kennyweiss thank you. But could never make it public.
What if we are in a functional frozen state... and instead of making "bad" decisions... we won't make any decisions... paralysis due to pursuing perfection. Also, is it not possible that we are inaccurately projecting our trauma perceptions onto others... even though they are not actually doing what we are perceiving?
In deep gratitude!
The video is still just buffering. It came on once for 30 seconds but went back to buffering. I wonder what’s wrong? 🌸🌸
There must be something wrong with your Internet connection. The video is operating fine.
Hi. 🌸🌸. I did get it to play. Thank you. I watched the video and I have many comments to make and questions to ask. In my life, I’ve accepted responsibility for my actions and I realize I chose my circumstances but I’m not doing well at all still. I’m scared to death, literally
lol … not really funny but, I finally got the guts when I was a child to ask my dad if he would see if my mom could stop calling me names. Yeah, he ignored my worry. I realized there was no safe adult around me, so no one knew what was going on at home. Children are innately aware of what is dangerous.
I want to add that children are also naturally advocates for themselves, especially the run aways. I was one and I look back and didn’t realize how much self worth I had because I was willing to take my self out of the situation. I just didn’t see that until a few weeks ago when I wondered how I know I have self worth. That young girl I was left a trail for me to discover that there is worth to my life.
This sort of explains why so many prostitutes get into the game after rape, I saw a documentary and was very surprised their choices having heard their backstory but this would be it. Also from what you describe it looks like Prince Harry is going through therapy publically and published his 'hate letter' as a book?! If someone is mean to you as you are today, says or does something hurtful but walks away so you cannot respond - how do you deal with that new emotion?
My Folks LIVED to insult me"your a disappoimtment to us""! How they smiled when I cried:. Cruel,ODD parents,
What, i wonder, would a common reason be for someone choosing dentistry as a career?
This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
such a habit )= && your completely right :cries:
So what does it mean what does it mean when you are a daughter of an Infidelity. Watching your videos have brought up so many parts of my life too much for me to handle don't know what to do
Discipline should not be mistaken for trauma such as saying ‘no don’t do that’
And there has been less than perfect parenting since Adam and Eve. Look at Cain and Abel.
This video won’t play for me. I’m not surprised lol
Bingo
Do we fear we'll lose the attachment to our parents or do we actually lose it by healing ourselves? Is that attachment something we need to lose? Do I stay attached to stay that traumatized child?
Ok I accept that but now you've E brought along a partner and kids. My decisions could start their worse day cycle.
Because we are all human and perfectly imperfect all of us will make mistakes and initiate the worst day cycle in our children. That’s just a fact of life.
That doesn’t make us bad people or bad parents. The secret, is to take ownership of that and become aware of how our perfect imperfections show up so that in the moment or later on when we recognize them, we can make amends to our children. That’s how we teach them how to overcome their cycle and generation after generation we make the cycle less and less powerful.
All of this is about learning to have a new relationship with ourselves and instead of feeling so terrible and awful about our mistakes learning to embrace them and love them and recognize they are the secret and the open door to our loving ourselves completely.
That’s the problem, society has told us to avoid our pain, to not admit our perfect imperfections to our self and that’s why we can’t admit these things and we get so afraid that we’re going to make a mistake.
That belief system created the worst day cycle and it keeps it alive.
✨🙏🏻🌷🙏🏻✨
When u started yelling around 27 min, i noticed i got triggered and wanted to tune u out.
What is that?
That’s a great question. Use the process. Ask yourself, what am I feeling, where are my body and my feeling it, what’s my first memory of having this feeling? What you’re going to discover is that in that moment, your past unhealed pain and trauma was triggered. Therefore you put your mother or your father or brother or sister‘s face on top of mine. You thought you wanted to tune me out but in reality you just wanted to tune out the pain you haven’t healed. Use the process I discuss in the video and you’ll be able to find the source of the unhealed pain and be able to move through it so that you don’t project that pain onto other people.
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability
Yes, we do blame Adam and Eve. It's called original sin.
The worst day for me is everyday for the past 9 nine years. Because I have nothing and my enquiries have everything that belongs to me !
I'm grateful to have Aspergers. Gives me the chance to script interactions and think in different ways honestly. Your videos are very helpful. I want to give you some reasons on why I haven;t pulled the trigger on your courses. Eventually, I will buy courses. If only because I must invest in myself if I'm to take my predicament seriously. Must do it. Otherwise I'm not really listening. Only faking myself. "GEESH GET OFF OF ME!" (hugging dad when he returned from Vietnam) " HE'S THE VILLAGE IDIOT!" (Hiding under the bed as a game to find me). Was shocked to my core but didn;t cry. I concluded I don't need anyone.
My mantra th-cam.com/video/UgAFcvIw8J4/w-d-xo.html
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