👌More videos can be found on this topic at: th-cam.com/play/PLcB3trehXswg6FS0YzaQLwvX7jj1avd_F.html&si=T0Xm154Gm21Rrv-P ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification
I watched this video as the person with abandonment anxiety. It helped me realize a few things about myself, so thank you! Now my anxiety is soooo triggered about telling my boyfriend that this video may help him/us in our relationship. Like, if he watches it, he’s definitely gonna run for the hills!! 😢
If he truly loves you he will understand and help you through this. ANYONE who wants to run away when you are on a positive path to healing is someone you shouldn't want in your life...hence the reason what brought us all here to watch this video. They will be honored and most understanding to help you get through your most difficult times, as I'm sure you would do the same for them. God bless and 🙏 you choose everything that will help you to be the best you🌻
Me too. And it just makes me feel even more messed up. Like I'm too far gone to recover from all the bad life decisions that I made from that place. 😢 Dark thoughts...
I now know I have abandonment issues. Everything she said rings true to me, and it actually makes me sad even though I know I have a lot of work to do on myself.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=abandonment
It's okay to feel sad about it! Actually, this is one of the steps of therapy: After telling all your story as a third person, you see how harsh things were. And you acknowledge that it wasn't a made up character going through this, it was you. So you grieve for yourself, for all the things you wished you had, for all the things that have gone wrong. And this is amazing! I'm proud of you for going this and being this strong to face everything face on. I hope you feel better and, if not, a chocolate bar e a amazing guilty pleasure!
Thank you for this video. I needed this today. My narc ex left me for someone else after I gave birth to his son, and I found out he’d been seeing her 3 months. Since then, he has made constant attempts to hoover and breadcrumb me. It’s been horrendous, when I’m weak I’m reverse hoover myself back in. He will make out he wants me back for a week, then ghost me. The final straw came last week when he ruined a rare break for me, he contacted me continually while I was on my break, and really led me to believe he wanted me back. The moment I was home he ghosted me again. I’m now a week no contact. It’s tough but these videos are a godsend! 🙏
I am grateful to be of help and am sorry you have gone through that. I appreciate you watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
Awe, I'm sorry Felis. Hopefully you're doing well 🤍 (Also, the behavior you describe is exactly the type of patterns my bipolar ex would exhibit. And he wasn't even a narcissist, he just wasn't taking his medication because he had uncomfortable side effects. My cousin's ex-GF did the same type of things. She was bipolar/borderline/schizo)
I am so glad the video helped you. Thank you for watching. Here are more videos on abandonment anxiety: th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=abandonment
i realize that I have been living with subconscious power struggles with my father that are always going on and on in my head. He did not allow me my free will and took away everything I loved to punish me for not taking care of him and having him first on my mind, even as a very small child. I learned early that everything I did was supposed to be for him. Thank you, Dr. Snipes. You are like the attachment figure that comes to free me with awareness of what is going on and helps me to establish my independence from him in all ways.
You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching. I am sorry you have gone through that with your father. What tips from the video would you use to address abandonment anxiety symptoms.
Thank you for this, I started tearing up since everything you were saying was accurate. I do have abandonment issues due to my childhood so it's been hard to fully overcome it. I'll do my best to trust my boyfriend and not assume the worst every time i feel like i'm being rejected/abandoned.
Thank you for watching the video. I am sorry about your wife. Here are the videos on developing secure attachment: th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
A friend that I have had in the past, but that I had to break connection with, did that very fast clinging stuff when I just barely knew them fifteen minutes. I thought at that time that they were just being friendly but maybe the next week or soon after, I thought " Wow , this connection isn't going at a speed that is healthy when getting to know somebody. Within two weeks they wanted to hang out most every weekend and shared where they lived, where they worked, what kind of job they had and more. I don't share things that fast at all . In fact I share much slower!! So I did not see this person as having anxiety attachment issue . But listening to Doctor Snipes, I understand now about the makeup of that person.
Nice connection between personality and attachment style. I see bpd and fearful avoidant attachment in some clients. Draining energetically idealized then devalued but wait until the client is secure enough to address the splitting. Clinging or avoiding people.
a simple thing for me to remember:whenever my significant other doesn't care as much as I needed, God will and His Love is for free and yes there are always potentially better partners than me all around, bless them
Thank you for watching the video. I think you chose your partner for a reason and he chose you for a reason as well. There will always be someone younger, smarter and more interesting than we are but they will never be us. What tips from the video will you use to address abandonment anxiety?
@@DocSnipes Strategy to cope: this life is a not important video game. All is already saved. Abandonment can mean suffering and dead. You have to be not afraid of it. This is not the one and only important life, there is heaven. This game is vain and everything is chasing of wind. God will never abandon you, because you're accepted by grace and not by merit and all blamable things are already forgiven. The struggle: it's exhausting and all this energy wasted when they dump you, what a sacrifice out of love. The tip I like: The break of several hours need to be discussed so they feel somewhat safe. They actually need the break too.
If you are in a relationship with someone with abandonment anxiety, what symptom of theirs do you struggle with most, and what strategy helps you cope?
I actually have abandonment anxiety. I struggled with drugs for a few years and now 2 years after I got sober those attachment issues are the worst for me. Before that I used to push the anxiety away with the substances. I also used to have codependent relationships, where I kinda knew that the other person is too broken to leave me. Now in my healthy relationship I find communication the most helpful tool of all. Sometimes I don't trust all the words that I hear but if they come with good actions I have no other choice than to believe. Still it is hard to live with a core belief that people might love me, but ultimately they will choose a life without a burden (me). I try to work on that but it takes a lot of effort both from me and from my partner.
I find that a person who has caused a lot drama in my life on and off for twenty years definitely is suffering from this. For years I didn't know why they behaved as they did it was very confusing and hurtful and I had this cycle in my life from my own child hood trauma but this person what frustrated me most was them telling me how I felt when they did not know truth. Their mind reading as you say gave them a alter perception of what was going on, then when I would try to talk to them to give them actual facts of my feelings thought or actions, have a level conversation they would go dead silent. For years...then they would pop back talking about the same crap from years past frantically of course and still no resolution cause they are unhealed and seeking supply...The lying they do to make me have sympathy for them is ridiculously pointless waste more time and enraging. All your points are good but when you dealing with someone who blames everyone else for their problems or uses manipulation and arguements and sexuality as weapons. No matter how one trys reasoning it's impossible and becomes unsafe unhealthy and down right hurtful. So I just had to remove from them and seek mental safety away from them. Reading about abandonment childhood trauma etc has helped me understand what I have been experiencing with this person each time they reappear. It has been a nightmare that I learn I don't want to repeat anymore. I do not believe someone who is not trained in dealing with people who suffer from issues like these can really have stable good relationships with people like this. Emotional mental treatment must be a part of the ingredients otherwise 20 30 40 years will pass and you still in a stalemate. Very unfulfilled and make the world dark.
I have it AND my husband has it. I struggle with him not ever wanting me to be away from him for one second. He's a clinger. I'm a splitter. So he struggles with me splitting him. He's my 4th husband btw. I have bpd. ❤️
Thanks. I just had a guy i care about deeply tell me he has this and this helped me learn how to make him feel safe. Also helped me learn why he was reacting so strange to my compliments. I keep telling how smart and handsome he is and he gets very quiet and strange. He said its because he get suspicious its fake what im saying or i want something. When all i want is to make him understand how i see him.
Thanks for all your brilliant work. This helped me understand that the person I was dating is too exhausting for me. I won’t be able to do all this forever; it’s too much. Thank you!
This video helped me a whole lot. You describe my eks lover. I did love him dearly. He was doing so many of the things you describe. I did understand there was something. But l did not sucseed to help him. My english is poor. Thank you for your video❤️ I still love him and think about him every day 💔
I appreciate you watching the video. I am sorry you and your boyfriend broke up. Here’s the video on Healing after a breakup: th-cam.com/video/8OZdTwfb2Mk/w-d-xo.html
I say dysregulation feels like I have a sharknado inside of me. 😬😬 And that's no lie. It can last for days too. Hopefully not. I'm better these days. Thanks for your work Doc Snipez. ❤️❤️
I loved this so much. I actually didn’t know how to approach this and actually did the abandonment which sucks as I still love her. Trying to patch things up and this info could really help. Question is… how to regain trust if abandonment has already occurred? I really want to work at this thanks
If you’re having trust issues, this is how you can address them: -Ask, don’t assume! (Do not hold hostages! People change, don’t assume that a person is lying to you, going to abandon you or is going to mistreat you just because that happened in the past); -Focus on facts: What do you know about a situation? Not what you think, not what you assume the other person is thinking, but what do you actually know?
just tell the truth: you abandoned her because you was afraid she would abandon you and you couldn't cope with that, but now you willing to take the risk.
This also sounds almost 100% as borderline personality. I would like to know if there is a difference between BPD and Abandonment anxiety or hypersensitivity. How can someone be sure of their diagnosis or are they all similar?
All my courting attempts from 17 years old to now 27 have failed spectacularly. What you get for being queer. But I have now somehow ended up engaged. No idea how it happened. It's a dream come true. He's an angel. But affection no longer sticks. My love is permeated by fear and mistrust because that is all I associate love with. I'm trying to do better because I desperately want this to work out and I want to marry him and spend the rest of my life by his side. But it's hard. It's so fucking hard and therapy + meds barely do anything although all my money goes towards that. Doc Snipes' channel gives me a sliver of hope because it's like therapy resources, but open source and free. Your content has spared me more breakdowns than I care to admit. Thank you...
Thanks for sharing your story. Best wishes to you. I wonder if you have tried any mindfulness practices? Maybe even daily rituals where you spend 20 minutes walking in the world, and noticing and appreciating what you see and experience in the moment. That may help your body create new "programs" for your lived experience and reduce the power of past memories and beliefs. Just a suggestion...
I have been really helping my father with his abandonment issues all my life! I am sooo tired of worrying about him. I have not found a partner for me because of him.
@@DocSnipes as someone who has Insecure attachment myself, I could recognise many of the behaviours you talked about. For me, self awareness about patterns of behaviour is an important part of the equation too! I definitely think that it is just as exhausting for the person with insecure attachment, as well as, for the partner when you are experiencing these behaviours.
Thank you for this, though I am the one with the issues, I still learn from these. I need all the help I can get, I am still meditating and doing my ACIM and other practices. I love you, you have brought me so much understanding of my issues, tools to help deal with them, and support to push me along, thank you so very much.
I learn from these so much too…. It also gives me a gauge of what sort of care is healthy to give while I sort out my garbage. Of course I want a cozy blanket but sometimes a thin sheet is what we need to desensitize to the world.
@@cassandraharada3331 I am glad it is working for you, I joke I was raised by wolves but in truth that might have been a better choice! I am glad for the self-awareness I have gained and the self inquiry I learned to do, digging some of these out is painful, but once you expose them they vanish! Best of luck to you, wishing you a healthy mind.
@@cassandraharada3331 Sorry to hear that, at least we have these wonderful people trying to help us, I binge watched Dr. Snipes videos ever since my breakup a month ago. I read Susan Anderson's book The Journey from Abandomnet to healing, then read The Myth of Normal, then The Body Keeps the Score....all great books. I have had long standing abandonment issues from childhood, it is time to fix it, address it face on and move past this mess I have carried around for far too long. The more I learn, the more mess I see I have to pry out of me, I have spent many years on a spiritual path, but this human mess has been easy to not deal with, until now, time to get it over with.
@@cassandraharada3331 I am watching this one now, "How to Avoid Dating a Narcissist" as an empath I keep attracting Narcissist of one kind or another, not a good mix. Perhaps it is what it has taken for me to address this.
I am dating one but its so toxic he is sobtaging the relationship and hurting me so much I dont know how to help him anymore. He constantly thinking i will leave or cheat that he has become so controlling and picking fights over the smallest thing. Im constantly under a miscope. I cant do anything right. He finds fault in everything. What do i do? im at the edge of leaving but I love him. He wont go to therapy. I feel like I have no choice but to giveup on him since he doest want to help himself.
26:50 Maybe re-iterations and verbal reassurances would not be the best thing. In the past people who betrayed also used to speak about how great and unique the person is, and how they trust or love. It may be ok at the beginning but may feel uncomfortable when someone say things again and again. I don't remember me telling my friends that they are my friends, If I did that - I imagine that it was not meant as an affirmation But then again, I might not have abandonment anxiety, but something else
@@DocSnipes Sorry Doc, I have never lived together with a partner, and I don't know if I have Abandonment Anxiety, so maybe in the end I don't have much experience to make assessments. The closest case scenario is when someone, who payed me quite a lot of attention, stops doing it and switches to another person - I feel this anticipation of abandonment (I was not wrong though), self-insifficience and emptiness - this is jealosy (not envy). I hit about 3-4 out of 12 SCARED CHAMPS, so maybe I dont have Abandonment Anxiety. Can't pick the most useful part, but after watching it I remembered how important it is to communicate with your partner, and of course you are showing how to approach it more consciously. My comments are often a bit long, I leave them just for sake of commenting
You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=
Thanks for watching. There’s the video on CBT for addressing abandonment anxiety: th-cam.com/video/9UHI-ra70X0/w-d-xo.html Please let me know what you think, after watching it.
@@DocSnipes This empty nose syndrome thing has ruined my life. One can't believe it is real unless one has experienced the surgical outcome themselves. It has a global effect on the HPA axis. I'm always in fight or flight mode. It's a battle every day.
What tips from the video will you use to address abandonment anxiety? You can find more videos on abandonment anxiety at: th-cam.com/play/PLcB3trehXswh9zC9xVkAJekUGA1DwXyC9.html&si=Ul4PcNhqD8-3nAg9
Doctor Snipes,do you have any info about meteprolol helping with anxiety,I take it for Blood pressure,but sometimes I have noticed my anxiety chest pain seems to get better after taking it,25 mg twice daily,sometimes,God bless you and your family,thank you
Thank you for watching the video. Metopreror is a beta blocker and research shows that beta-blockers can help manage some of the physical symptoms of stress and anxiety. What did you find most helpful from the video?
Abandonment anxiety with cPTSD?! My partner was tentatively diagnosed with complex trauma….As the partner, l have been certain he has BPD for years due to splitting, rage, abandonment, self harm, clinging that looks like emotional manipulation, etc…l am feeling really lost hearing all this connected to cPTSD now. How can you differentiate these two diagnoses when all these symptoms are the biggest issues?
Thank you for watching the video. What tools will you use to help your partner cope with abandonment symptoms? Yes, there’s so much overlap between BPD snd cPTSD symptoms. Here’s the video with 2 things that BPD, cPTSD and codependency have in common: th-cam.com/video/UKGjpL4vEBw/w-d-xo.html Please let me know what you think of it.
Yes, it is. Thank you for watching. Here’s a video on addressing abandonment anxiety: th-cam.com/video/9UHI-ra70X0/w-d-xo.html Please let me know what you think about it.
Have you walked the earth like the prince with his baobabs trees. I get a book for winter solstice. She still looking for the present she five fingered it with her truth. Nothing like seeing an idiot. Dostoevsky was a great philosophy major.
Yup I wish I had found you before as wife gave birth during pandemic… then the Shit show began. Whatever I did wasn’t right, wasn’t correct, wasn’t enuff yet blamed me for everything. She made me promise not to ever leave her. But then takes off and her mom hires a lawyer and they file for divorce and doesn’t tell me for a month ... took my baby and went over seas . it’s a shame … 😢
Doc, I can understand what you trying to do but if that person is unstable emotionally, they going to run the other person off after they can’t conceal they true self. They are liars. They need to tell themselves the truth and seek professional help. All I see is they traumatizing the next person they get in a relationship with.
Thanks for watching. It depends on many factors. Like, for example, does this happen at the beginning of the relationship, does it happen after an unpleasant event, has it ever been like this, do you love your partner? Why don’t you care? Do you expect your partner abandoning you eventually? Is the relationship toxic? Is the partner invalidating? Have they cheated on you? Have they hurt you?… It might be avoidant attachment or it might be exhaustion, depression (like, so much has happened, I have so much going on that I can’t care anymore).
I am so sad and angry at the moment because earlier today I was telling my partner how sad I am because I haven’t been home in the philippines for 6years. Later, he is acting pissed and upset while we are doing groceries. We enjoy doing groceries, so I noticed he is unhappy. So I ask why is he upset, but he refuse to say anything. I also ask if he was upset because of my sadness. Nothing was resolved.. both of us sad but he is sleeping peacefully now while I am very upset, angry, felt left in the dark crying by myself. I don’t know what to do with my emotions, so im just putting this here to vent out.. I don’t have anyone to open up to, so im just gonna make a mess out of myself here 😖🥲
👌More videos can be found on this topic at: th-cam.com/play/PLcB3trehXswg6FS0YzaQLwvX7jj1avd_F.html&si=T0Xm154Gm21Rrv-P
❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com
👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification
I watched this video as the person with abandonment anxiety. It helped me realize a few things about myself, so thank you! Now my anxiety is soooo triggered about telling my boyfriend that this video may help him/us in our relationship. Like, if he watches it, he’s definitely gonna run for the hills!! 😢
If he truly loves you he will understand and help you through this. ANYONE who wants to run away when you are on a positive path to healing is someone you shouldn't want in your life...hence the reason what brought us all here to watch this video. They will be honored and most understanding to help you get through your most difficult times, as I'm sure you would do the same for them. God bless and 🙏 you choose everything that will help you to be the best you🌻
Me too. And it just makes me feel even more messed up. Like I'm too far gone to recover from all the bad life decisions that I made from that place. 😢 Dark thoughts...
update us :), its been 7 months
I now know I have abandonment issues. Everything she said rings true to me, and it actually makes me sad even though I know I have a lot of work to do on myself.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=abandonment
It's okay to feel sad about it! Actually, this is one of the steps of therapy: After telling all your story as a third person, you see how harsh things were. And you acknowledge that it wasn't a made up character going through this, it was you. So you grieve for yourself, for all the things you wished you had, for all the things that have gone wrong.
And this is amazing! I'm proud of you for going this and being this strong to face everything face on.
I hope you feel better and, if not, a chocolate bar e a amazing guilty pleasure!
Thank you for this video. I needed this today. My narc ex left me for someone else after I gave birth to his son, and I found out he’d been seeing her 3 months. Since then, he has made constant attempts to hoover and breadcrumb me. It’s been horrendous, when I’m weak I’m reverse hoover myself back in. He will make out he wants me back for a week, then ghost me. The final straw came last week when he ruined a rare break for me, he contacted me continually while I was on my break, and really led me to believe he wanted me back. The moment I was home he ghosted me again. I’m now a week no contact. It’s tough but these videos are a godsend! 🙏
I am grateful to be of help and am sorry you have gone through that. I appreciate you watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
Awe, I'm sorry Felis. Hopefully you're doing well 🤍 (Also, the behavior you describe is exactly the type of patterns my bipolar ex would exhibit. And he wasn't even a narcissist, he just wasn't taking his medication because he had uncomfortable side effects. My cousin's ex-GF did the same type of things. She was bipolar/borderline/schizo)
This was a well done video. I’m struggling with the abandonment issues and I hate stressing my partner out.
I am so glad the video helped you. Thank you for watching. Here are more videos on abandonment anxiety:
th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=abandonment
i realize that I have been living with subconscious power struggles with my father that are always going on and on in my head. He did not allow me my free will and took away everything I loved to punish me for not taking care of him and having him first on my mind, even as a very small child. I learned early that everything I did was supposed to be for him. Thank you, Dr. Snipes. You are like the attachment figure that comes to free me with awareness of what is going on and helps me to establish my independence from him in all ways.
You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching. I am sorry you have gone through that with your father. What tips from the video would you use to address abandonment anxiety symptoms.
Thank you for this, I started tearing up since everything you were saying was accurate. I do have abandonment issues due to my childhood so it's been hard to fully overcome it. I'll do my best to trust my boyfriend and not assume the worst every time i feel like i'm being rejected/abandoned.
You just described my wife exactly. Mind opening video. I didn’t know about this before.
Thank you for watching the video. I am sorry about your wife. Here are the videos on developing secure attachment: th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
A friend that I have had in the past, but that I had to break connection with, did that very fast clinging stuff when I just barely knew them fifteen minutes. I thought at that time that they were just being friendly but maybe the next week or soon after, I thought " Wow , this connection isn't going at a speed that is healthy when getting to know somebody. Within two weeks they wanted to hang out most every weekend and shared where they lived, where they worked, what kind of job they had and more. I don't share things that fast at all . In fact I share much slower!! So I did not see this person as having anxiety attachment issue . But listening to Doctor Snipes, I understand now about the makeup of that person.
Thank you so much for watching
Nice connection between personality and attachment style. I see bpd and fearful avoidant attachment in some clients. Draining energetically idealized then devalued but wait until the client is secure enough to address the splitting. Clinging or avoiding people.
@@astraluna555 Thanks for asking this question in your honesty. I have been in therapy all my life and my therapist abandonee me!
I appreciate you watching the video.
a simple thing for me to remember:whenever my significant other doesn't care as much as I needed, God will and His Love is for free
and yes there are always potentially better partners than me all around, bless them
Thank you for watching the video. I think you chose your partner for a reason and he chose you for a reason as well. There will always be someone younger, smarter and more interesting than we are but they will never be us. What tips from the video will you use to address abandonment anxiety?
@@DocSnipes Strategy to cope: this life is a not important video game. All is already saved. Abandonment can mean suffering and dead. You have to be not afraid of it. This is not the one and only important life, there is heaven. This game is vain and everything is chasing of wind. God will never abandon you, because you're accepted by grace and not by merit and all blamable things are already forgiven. The struggle: it's exhausting and all this energy wasted when they dump you, what a sacrifice out of love. The tip I like: The break of several hours need to be discussed so they feel somewhat safe. They actually need the break too.
If you are in a relationship with someone with abandonment anxiety, what symptom of theirs do you struggle with most, and what strategy helps you cope?
I actually have abandonment anxiety. I struggled with drugs for a few years and now 2 years after I got sober those attachment issues are the worst for me. Before that I used to push the anxiety away with the substances. I also used to have codependent relationships, where I kinda knew that the other person is too broken to leave me. Now in my healthy relationship I find communication the most helpful tool of all. Sometimes I don't trust all the words that I hear but if they come with good actions I have no other choice than to believe. Still it is hard to live with a core belief that people might love me, but ultimately they will choose a life without a burden (me). I try to work on that but it takes a lot of effort both from me and from my partner.
Hell, I'm the one who has abandonment anxiety! Honestly, the best thing my wife does for me is just her presence.
I find that a person who has caused a lot drama in my life on and off for twenty years definitely is suffering from this. For years I didn't know why they behaved as they did it was very confusing and hurtful and I had this cycle in my life from my own child hood trauma but this person what frustrated me most was them telling me how I felt when they did not know truth. Their mind reading as you say gave them a alter perception of what was going on, then when I would try to talk to them to give them actual facts of my feelings thought or actions, have a level conversation they would go dead silent. For years...then they would pop back talking about the same crap from years past frantically of course and still no resolution cause they are unhealed and seeking supply...The lying they do to make me have sympathy for them is ridiculously pointless waste more time and enraging. All your points are good but when you dealing with someone who blames everyone else for their problems or uses manipulation and arguements and sexuality as weapons. No matter how one trys reasoning it's impossible and becomes unsafe unhealthy and down right hurtful. So I just had to remove from them and seek mental safety away from them. Reading about abandonment childhood trauma etc has helped me understand what I have been experiencing with this person each time they reappear. It has been a nightmare that I learn I don't want to repeat anymore. I do not believe someone who is not trained in dealing with people who suffer from issues like these can really have stable good relationships with people like this. Emotional mental treatment must be a part of the ingredients otherwise 20 30 40 years will pass and you still in a stalemate. Very unfulfilled and make the world dark.
I have it AND my husband has it. I struggle with him not ever wanting me to be away from him for one second. He's a clinger. I'm a splitter. So he struggles with me splitting him. He's my 4th husband btw. I have bpd. ❤️
@DocSnipes
I thought abandonment anxiety is you want to abandon who is in your life or a partner.
Thanks. I just had a guy i care about deeply tell me he has this and this helped me learn how to make him feel safe. Also helped me learn why he was reacting so strange to my compliments. I keep telling how smart and handsome he is and he gets very quiet and strange. He said its because he get suspicious its fake what im saying or i want something. When all i want is to make him understand how i see him.
Wow if someone actually put all these things in place, wouldn't they be a super amazing human.
I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR WORK ♥️🙏 UNDERSTAND MYSELF SO MUCH BETTER BECAUSE OF YOU♥️🙏
I feel just like you do.
I am grateful to be of help and appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
Thanks for all your brilliant work. This helped me understand that the person I was dating is too exhausting for me. I won’t be able to do all this forever; it’s too much. Thank you!
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video
Moon in Aquarius... yep keep connections light!
You’re a godsend ❤
Thank you so much, Jose. Please let me know what you think about the video.
This video helped me a whole lot.
You describe my eks lover.
I did love him dearly.
He was doing so many of the things you describe.
I did understand there was something.
But l did not sucseed to help him.
My english is poor.
Thank you for your video❤️
I still love him and think about him every day 💔
I appreciate you watching the video. I am sorry you and your boyfriend broke up.
Here’s the video on Healing after a breakup:
th-cam.com/video/8OZdTwfb2Mk/w-d-xo.html
objectives: 0:20
Splitting: 1:32
Clinging: 4:30
Anxiety: 7:40
Rejection hypersensitivity: 9:10
Envy/jealousy: 10:50
Dysregulation: 13:18
Controlling/manipulation: 16:42
Hypervigilant: 18:30
Attaching too quickly: 20:01
Mindreading/conclusion jumping: 21:51
Projecting: 24:33
Suspicious (Trust is difficult, overanalyzing): 25:08
Thank you for watching, Craid. I added that to the video’s chapters, so you can find it easier :)
@@DocSnipes Thank you for helping me understand my abandonment anxiety!
This gave me wonderful insight into friends I love. Thank you, Doc!
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
So informative and accurate!! Thank you so much for this breakdown!
You are so welcome!
I say dysregulation feels like I have a sharknado inside of me. 😬😬 And that's no lie. It can last for days too. Hopefully not. I'm better these days. Thanks for your work Doc Snipez. ❤️❤️
I am being held hostage for another woman’s mistakes and crazy behavior so I had to end what seemed to be something that was blossoming .
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
I loved this so much. I actually didn’t know how to approach this and actually did the abandonment which sucks as I still love her. Trying to patch things up and this info could really help. Question is… how to regain trust if abandonment has already occurred? I really want to work at this thanks
If you’re having trust issues, this is how you can address them:
-Ask, don’t assume! (Do not hold hostages! People change, don’t assume that a person is lying to you, going to abandon you or is going to mistreat you just because that happened in the past);
-Focus on facts: What do you know about a situation? Not what you think, not what you assume the other person is thinking, but what do you actually know?
just tell the truth: you abandoned her because you was afraid she would abandon you and you couldn't cope with that, but now you willing to take the risk.
I did not know sooo many things were related to the abandonment issues.
Yes, sadly, many things are related to abandonment fears. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?
This also sounds almost 100% as borderline personality. I would like to know if there is a difference between BPD and Abandonment anxiety or hypersensitivity. How can someone be sure of their diagnosis or are they all similar?
This is such good, encouraging information.
Thanks for watching
All my courting attempts from 17 years old to now 27 have failed spectacularly. What you get for being queer. But I have now somehow ended up engaged. No idea how it happened. It's a dream come true. He's an angel. But affection no longer sticks. My love is permeated by fear and mistrust because that is all I associate love with. I'm trying to do better because I desperately want this to work out and I want to marry him and spend the rest of my life by his side. But it's hard. It's so fucking hard and therapy + meds barely do anything although all my money goes towards that. Doc Snipes' channel gives me a sliver of hope because it's like therapy resources, but open source and free. Your content has spared me more breakdowns than I care to admit. Thank you...
You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching videos on the channel
Thanks for sharing your story. Best wishes to you.
I wonder if you have tried any mindfulness practices? Maybe even daily rituals where you spend 20 minutes walking in the world, and noticing and appreciating what you see and experience in the moment. That may help your body create new "programs" for your lived experience and reduce the power of past memories and beliefs. Just a suggestion...
Wow. Great information and insight
I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
Thank You, Doctor🌹
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
I don’t know how to not get upset when ppl are lying and cheating on me .
Im waiting so much for this 😊🥰
I appreciate you being here and am looking forward to seeing you at the premiere. Please let me know what you think about the video after watching it.
I have been really helping my father with his abandonment issues all my life! I am sooo tired of worrying about him. I have not found a partner for me because of him.
While that is an amazing thing to do for your father, please don’t forget about yourself. Your needs are just as important as his.
You owe it to yourself to be happy.
Kitty Kat, time that you gave to yourself.
Wow this was really interesting! I got a lot from this!! Thank you!! ❤️🙏
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?
@@DocSnipes as someone who has Insecure attachment myself, I could recognise many of the behaviours you talked about. For me, self awareness about patterns of behaviour is an important part of the equation too! I definitely think that it is just as exhausting for the person with insecure attachment, as well as, for the partner when you are experiencing these behaviours.
Majority of the African American community has abandonment issues 😔
I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
Great info
I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
Identifying and communicating about behaviors
Thank you for this, though I am the one with the issues, I still learn from these. I need all the help I can get, I am still meditating and doing my ACIM and other practices. I love you, you have brought me so much understanding of my issues, tools to help deal with them, and support to push me along, thank you so very much.
I learn from these so much too…. It also gives me a gauge of what sort of care is healthy to give while I sort out my garbage. Of course I want a cozy blanket but sometimes a thin sheet is what we need to desensitize to the world.
@@cassandraharada3331 I am glad it is working for you, I joke I was raised by wolves but in truth that might have been a better choice! I am glad for the self-awareness I have gained and the self inquiry I learned to do, digging some of these out is painful, but once you expose them they vanish! Best of luck to you, wishing you a healthy mind.
@@ne14truth ditto on the wolves being a way better choice!!
@@cassandraharada3331 Sorry to hear that, at least we have these wonderful people trying to help us, I binge watched Dr. Snipes videos ever since my breakup a month ago. I read Susan Anderson's book The Journey from Abandomnet to healing, then read The Myth of Normal, then The Body Keeps the Score....all great books. I have had long standing abandonment issues from childhood, it is time to fix it, address it face on and move past this mess I have carried around for far too long. The more I learn, the more mess I see I have to pry out of me, I have spent many years on a spiritual path, but this human mess has been easy to not deal with, until now, time to get it over with.
@@cassandraharada3331 I am watching this one now, "How to Avoid Dating a Narcissist" as an empath I keep attracting Narcissist of one kind or another, not a good mix. Perhaps it is what it has taken for me to address this.
Thank you
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
I am dating one but its so toxic he is sobtaging the relationship and hurting me so much I dont know how to help him anymore. He constantly thinking i will leave or cheat that he has become so controlling and picking fights over the smallest thing. Im constantly under a miscope. I cant do anything right. He finds fault in everything. What do i do? im at the edge of leaving but I love him. He wont go to therapy. I feel like I have no choice but to giveup on him since he doest want to help himself.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video
26:50 Maybe re-iterations and verbal reassurances would not be the best thing. In the past people who betrayed also used to speak about how great and unique the person is, and how they trust or love. It may be ok at the beginning but may feel uncomfortable when someone say things again and again.
I don't remember me telling my friends that they are my friends, If I did that - I imagine that it was not meant as an affirmation
But then again, I might not have abandonment anxiety, but something else
Thanks for watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
@@DocSnipes Sorry Doc, I have never lived together with a partner, and I don't know if I have Abandonment Anxiety, so maybe in the end I don't have much experience to make assessments. The closest case scenario is when someone, who payed me quite a lot of attention, stops doing it and switches to another person - I feel this anticipation of abandonment (I was not wrong though), self-insifficience and emptiness - this is jealosy (not envy). I hit about 3-4 out of 12 SCARED CHAMPS, so maybe I dont have Abandonment Anxiety.
Can't pick the most useful part, but after watching it I remembered how important it is to communicate with your partner, and of course you are showing how to approach it more consciously. My comments are often a bit long, I leave them just for sake of commenting
It sounds like being entrapped in a narcissistic relationship.
Thanks for watching the video and for sharing your thoughts
Women are not used to or comfortable with rejection. For men it’s common.
Thanks for watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?
You save my marriage!
You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=
Have you done a video from the other side of this, i.e., being in a relationship *as* someone with abandonment anxiety (i.e., anxious attachment)?
Thanks for watching. There’s the video on CBT for addressing abandonment anxiety:
th-cam.com/video/9UHI-ra70X0/w-d-xo.html
Please let me know what you think, after watching it.
What do you do if you're alone all the time and abandoned by all humanity? At least where I live.
Thank you for watching. What if you tried keeping a gratitude journal and making friends online?
@@DocSnipes This empty nose syndrome thing has ruined my life. One can't believe it is real unless one has experienced the surgical outcome themselves. It has a global effect on the HPA axis. I'm always in fight or flight mode. It's a battle every day.
So painful
I am sorry about that and I am grateful for you watching the video. What tips from the video will you use to address that?
The fact that both me and my partner have abandonment anxiety 😂.
What tips from the video will you use to address abandonment anxiety? You can find more videos on abandonment anxiety at: th-cam.com/play/PLcB3trehXswh9zC9xVkAJekUGA1DwXyC9.html&si=Ul4PcNhqD8-3nAg9
Doctor Snipes,do you have any info about meteprolol helping with anxiety,I take it for Blood pressure,but sometimes I have noticed my anxiety chest pain seems to get better after taking it,25 mg twice daily,sometimes,God bless you and your family,thank you
Thank you for watching the video. Metopreror is a beta blocker and research shows that beta-blockers can help manage some of the physical symptoms of stress and anxiety.
What did you find most helpful from the video?
@@DocSnipes some times I have to watch twice,too much anxiety
Abandonment anxiety with cPTSD?! My partner was tentatively diagnosed with complex trauma….As the partner, l have been certain he has BPD for years due to splitting, rage, abandonment, self harm, clinging that looks like emotional manipulation, etc…l am feeling really lost hearing all this connected to cPTSD now. How can you differentiate these two diagnoses when all these symptoms are the biggest issues?
Thank you for watching the video. What tools will you use to help your partner cope with abandonment symptoms? Yes, there’s so much overlap between BPD snd cPTSD symptoms. Here’s the video with 2 things that BPD, cPTSD and codependency have in common: th-cam.com/video/UKGjpL4vEBw/w-d-xo.html
Please let me know what you think of it.
I have a cat with abandonment issues. 😢
I am so sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video
I have abandonment anxiety and OCD. Is this common?
Yes, it is. Thank you for watching. Here’s a video on addressing abandonment anxiety: th-cam.com/video/9UHI-ra70X0/w-d-xo.html
Please let me know what you think about it.
Yes. You’re not alone.
Hi Mrs snipes
Hi, Gloria Watkins. Thank you so much for watching the video. What is your favorite tool on helping someone cope with abandonment anxiety?
I AM IN MY LATE 6OS AND DON,T WANT TO GET OLD
Have you walked the earth like the prince with his baobabs trees. I get a book for winter solstice. She still looking for the present she five fingered it with her truth. Nothing like seeing an idiot. Dostoevsky was a great philosophy major.
Yup I wish I had found you before as wife gave birth during pandemic… then the Shit show began. Whatever I did wasn’t right, wasn’t correct, wasn’t enuff yet blamed me for everything.
She made me promise not to ever leave her. But then takes off and her mom hires a lawyer and they file for divorce and doesn’t tell me for a month ... took my baby and went over seas . it’s a shame … 😢
That’s awful and I am so very sorry it happened to you.
@@DocSnipes any chance I could book a session with you ?
Dee Jay , maybe it's best they left.
@@temi4116 yes but why not all together ?
❤❤❤❤😊😊
I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
The mnemonic as well as all the different aspects that can come from it! ❤ appreciate your reply and saved your vagus nerve vid!!
Learn music theory. Even musicians do it. Try to do poetry. Beatniks are better raps.
Doc, I can understand what you trying to do but if that person is unstable emotionally, they going to run the other person off after they can’t conceal they true self. They are liars. They need to tell themselves the truth and seek professional help. All I see is they traumatizing the next person they get in a relationship with.
I am sorry that happened to you and I appreciate you watching the video
@DocSnipes
What it's called when you get anxiety but don't care if someone or a partner abandons you?
Thanks for watching. It depends on many factors. Like, for example, does this happen at the beginning of the relationship, does it happen after an unpleasant event, has it ever been like this, do you love your partner? Why don’t you care? Do you expect your partner abandoning you eventually? Is the relationship toxic? Is the partner invalidating? Have they cheated on you? Have they hurt you?…
It might be avoidant attachment or it might be exhaustion, depression (like, so much has happened, I have so much going on that I can’t care anymore).
Can this happen when your ex leaves you? Then came back and you take them back because you never got over them and are still in love?
Yes, it can. Thank you for watching the video.
Thank you so much for this video 🥹 it helped me a lot to manage my own abandonment anxiety
So welcome! Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Omg how do you know me like that 😂😂🫥🫥 (I’m the one with abandonment issues and I’ve never felt so seen)
Thank you for watching the video. What tips from the video will you use first to cope with abandonment anxiety?
I am so sad and angry at the moment because earlier today I was telling my partner how sad I am because I haven’t been home in the philippines for 6years. Later, he is acting pissed and upset while we are doing groceries. We enjoy doing groceries, so I noticed he is unhappy. So I ask why is he upset, but he refuse to say anything. I also ask if he was upset because of my sadness. Nothing was resolved.. both of us sad but he is sleeping peacefully now while I am very upset, angry, felt left in the dark crying by myself. I don’t know what to do with my emotions, so im just putting this here to vent out.. I don’t have anyone to open up to, so im just gonna make a mess out of myself here 😖🥲
Comfy Bahay... we are here listening and wish your pain will go away. Hugs.