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My definition of "being yourself", is by being honest towards yourself as that will promote honesty to others. It is not a long and complex definition, it is like saying "just go with it", as in you work with what you are capable with. If you're honest, this shouldn't be no issue to understand and what to do, the complications occur when you set out to make friends or fit in a certain crowd where most of them are a like and you need to make adjustments to be accepted or else you might end up like the neglected odd on out (that also varies on the people). This socialwebpopculture has forever ruined generations after generations making them think and act a certain type of way which is passed off as "cool". I don't want to get technical because that would end up like a small book on the comment section, because there are so many types of personalities but to my very eyes I only see the same 3-4 types. The push to be artificial just to fit in with a certain crowd...
I have personally found that 'be genuine' is a far better phrase. In 'being yourself' lies this assumption that the situation has all ready been experienced and a stance has been formed in congruence with ones perceived identity, but 'being genuine' is more dynamic in nature and can be applied to the reaction to new situations and varying reactions to prior situations.
I hate when people construe being yourself with being a horrible person, if your "true" self is rude, mean and terrible to be around maybe you have to improve who you are. I'm perfectly fine with being myself, even if it narrows who can be around me, because I like the people who can appreciate me fully and not those who get weirded out by me, you form more meaningful connections, and can easily weed through the fake people in your life. Being yourself is literally just being consistent with who you are, act the way you act at home at school, why hide who you are by being a boring copy of everyone else? I always find people like me more when I'm myself and those who don't were never worth it in the first place. I think the only time you should not be yourself is probably in the workplace or more formal places, but in most social settings, do definitely be yourself.
Being yourself is way harder than you think, i got a friend who got called names and bullied for purely being himself, which causes him to have a hard time with people and friends, and gonna be an even harder time to find someone who accepts who he truly is
@@jackgude3969 There is literally nothing wrong with telling someone they need to look inward and figure out why they are having such a hard time with anything in life including themselves and others. No idea why you had to be such a sarcastic prick but whatever I could honestly care less
For me the big break was really just learning to be emotionally honest with people. To tell them I am not in the mood as opposed to making up some excuse as to why I’m not going to the party. To express discomfort or insecurity in a way such that my actions aren’t just out of left field for everyone around me. I don’t really feel a need to hold secrets anymore and as such I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life
I've stopped being super secretive too. When someone asks me a personal question I pretty much always give an answer. What's hard for me though is in my behavior/how I present to the world. There's still part of me that's "traumatized" from my awkward experiences in school. I think this video is a good reminder to start meditating which I've been meaning to do for a while.
The last few years I've developed in the complete opposite way and feel terrible because of it. I have a constant feeling I need to hide parts of me to others and sometimes even myself. Canceling my attendance of certain events that trigger social anxiety (usually in new environments, I don't get it from going to i.e. a local bar or park) with excuses, getting paranoid of someone checking my social media searches when they borrow my phone or I use their wifi (because they might judge it as cringe, boring, controversial or whatever), not doing things because I might do them wrong, etc. I've kinda had this since my mid-20's but in no way as strong as it has been for the past two years or so. Any advice on which tiny baby steps to take?
@@KarlSnarks Aknowledge your own feelings first. Try to think of why you really feel the way you do and understand what is making you uncomfortable or angry or dissatisfied, then work on accepting those feelings internally and not being ashamed of them when they come up. Once you're comfortable with that, try to find ways you can mitigate and work with those feelings, and ultimately express them to others in a way they can understand you and empathize. A tip for the latter is that you don't need to express every detail to be honest to others. It's fine to say you're simply uncomfortable swimming in public instead of saying you have severe body dysmorphia for example. People will understand, and you're often surprised by the accomodations they will make if you're just honest about what's bothering you. My one concrete tip for you would just be to go to these events and aknowledge to others you have a degree of social anxiety. If you can just own it and accept you'll be a bit akward here and there you'll forget about it fairly quickly. A real life hack here is to just talk about prior akward experiences, the really bad ones you think about while lying in bed at night, it's a real into the flames type of deal, but it's a fantastic way to humble yourself while also letting others get to know you. You can't transform your mind in a day, but it's certainly a way to make it go a lot quicker.
personally i think “being yourself” is difficult because sometimes who we perceive as ourselves can hold us back from who we really are. in social situations i get in my own head a lot and appear to be really quiet, which i am naturally. but when i associate that “quietness” with being myself i block myself from making conversation because it’s “not who i am”. for me i would say to “be who you really are”. it helps to peel back the layers of made up personality and get to what’s actually me.
Yeah being yourself does not equal don't improve yourself. If you're naturally quiet and want to be more outgoing, work towards it, don't settle on "I'm just a quiet person".
@@kelechi_77 Yeah exactly. I was quiet in school (well mostly) and tended to be alone. I don't always like being quiet and honestly some of it was just because I was too worried to talk much. I decided to just try talking to people anyways. While I am still not where I would like to be, I have an easier time talking to strangers now. It does help that people tend to like me, but I don't know what I would have done if that were different.
Buddhism dives into this a bit. Essentially, there is only the present moment and we can choose how we want to be in it. However, because of our internal narratives and patterns, we instead automatically adhere to a role that we're comfortable fitting into. It's possible to change those patterns, but like most growth, there's discomfort in it. What helps me is checking in with my breath and the moment. Then, instead of defaulting to what my "mind" perceives me as, I engage with curiosity and openness.
im like this too. it's complicated because it's useful to know who we are, but when we start to assign an identity to ourselves it can hold us back. ideally we should be spontaneous without tying ourselves to an identity made for us by past experiences, but at the same time act coherently to who we really are. idk it's kinda hard for me to wrap my head around but im slowly figuring it out
@@Burbie we both know its not what its meant by that, otherwise youre always yourself, even on drugs, after torture or whatever else youre influenced by
Look, when someone says 'be yourself', what they really mean is that they want you to put on a performance of genuine comfort with yourself and interest in the things you like, but in a socially acceptable manner. If you're anxious or disquieted with yourself or in a place where you don't get joy from things- tough, 'be yourself' instead.
No, they want you to be comfortable in your own skin and have confidence in yourself and the things you do. Being uncomfortable with yourself can only be solved by building confidence through "being yourself," i.e., being your confident or best self.
@@dropyourself Yeah, the individual person might mean something closer to this instead, but the statement 'be yourself' more often serves to enforce the thing OP said than as a healthy confidence booster when it's just said on its own like that.
I literally, physically and mentally, find so much comfort from your videos. You make complicated subjects (not just philosophies) look so much simpler to understand. You made me understand more about myself, and the world around me. Bro, I hope you know that you’re amazing, underrated and the coolest person ever.
personally ive just abandoned the idea of boiling down people to simple terms, you certainly can spot some recurring themes in peoples behavior. But this thing about categorizing and labeling everything is an illogical want we have as humans. I think the truth is that not everything can be labeled and simply accept it as it is.
Everything *can* be labeled, but be aware that you're only able to usefully and accurately apply labels to a moment of relational occurrence rather than the whole of the thing in all of its complexity. The drive to conceive of labels is only as useful and rational as its application in use, and that oftentimes comes down to communication. Acceptance of things as-is before making an effort to identify and/or change them is a necessary perquisite, but it doesn't actually have to be the endgame as I see it
I think better way of saying it is "be honest". Don't hide behind a mask. Be natural. If a person doesn't like you that way you shouldn't commune with them in the first place.
Interesting to see research backing what I have been slowly empirically noticing lately. I usually break down this "jUsT bE YoUrSeLF!" advice into two more complex to explain ones. 1 - Have a designed intent behind everything you do and be conscient of it at all times 2 - Have sound internal integrity between what you value and your designed intents (that translates to actions)
Becoming yourself is pretty simple if you ask me. It means to peel away the toxic layers from your ego, I'm not implying you should abandon your ego, I'm just saying you should part ways with the behaviours of which you know does not provide any "good" to you or the world (with "good" I assume you have a considerable developed conscience to objectively determine what is useful and what is not). As you keep doing this, you'll find you become lighter, quicker and clearer in mind, your life becomes more and more about growing towards; doing what you're good at, doing what you enjoy, doing what gives you purpose, and (if you need to) being willed to sacrifice for those desires. Basically, all of this requires you to be not afraid to grow, or to be not afraid of discomfort. I'm not saying comfort is bad, I'm just saying who ever you are, if you stay in your safe cocoon for too long, you'll stagnate. Stagnation is not natural. Look at life, nature, the galaxy, everything around you is constantly evolving. Children are constantly discovering. Your body may grow older but the power within yourself never decays. Yet, when we grow older we tend to become more rigid. This rigidity (in my opinion) is turning yourself against yourself, or turning yourself against nature. Anxiety, addiction, ignorance, arrogance, insecurity, denial, hatred, information overload, too much stress (or over working), or lack of responsibility and stress (procrastination and laziness), etc. ~Deep down we all know what's good for us and what is not, we all deal with one (or more) of these issues, yet we keep running in cycles, because in the moment, the wrong choices seem more appealing than the right ones, which are ugly and uncomfortable, but of which we know will eventually set us free. I believe that if we want to understand ourselves better for who we are, specifically understanding our personal problems, than it's a better option to ask how do I solve this than to ask why am I the way I am, or why do I do this. Because, you see, 9 out of 10 times if you first answer the how (through taking considerable action) the why will float to the surface automatically... Being yourself means to constantly become a better version of who you already are, just by shifting your focus on what helps you and the one's that are dear to you. Of course you will make all the wrong choices, of course you will experience discomfort, and of course you will fall ten thousand times, but each time when you stand up again and take a new step in the right direction you are actually taking a step closer towards who you really are, when you struggle, when you find joy, when you persevere and when you truly experience, THAT is when to real you is enfolding itself, the you who is unconditionally loving and without any inhibition. The you who is devoted to grow, devoted to do what is necessary, devoted to do what is right, devoted to make your dreams come true, (and if necessary) devoted to suffer, that is the you who is simply devoted to live life! Devoted to be a present for the present. If you do your best in whatever it is that you're doing and TRUST the process, then your authenticity will come to the surface naturally... It doesn't need to be complicated, it just has to be honest and sincere.
I think eventually it boils down to taking a hard stare at oneself and deciding what they wish to achieve in the long-term and in the short-term depending on the circumstances and aligning their actions and motivations with their pursuit. But because we spend majority of our time and lives in the pursuit, making that conquest worthwhile and satisfying is where one's happiness and fulfilment lies.
What “Be Yourself” means to me, is “Just be naturally what you are”. Don’t try to force yourself to be something else just to get others to accept you or get their approval. I have noticed that just being myself is enough and I’ve met some pretty cool people along the way
I think its also important to note that yourself can change and thats ok. Sometimes i find myself holding back on things I want to do or falling back into old bad habits because i feel like thats “who I am”. But no! We can all grow, the self is always changing!
Nah this is crazy... last night I was like "I wish Sisyphus 55 would drop another video soon" wake up this morning to a new video. Bro never misses ngl.
There's definitely still something here to be said about the fear of the self... The fear of confronting the sometimes ugly truths of ourselves, the shadow. Finding, expressing, and accepting this so called self is certainly a journey!
Oftentimes there isn't even anything harmful about a certain part of one's self, but allowing others to know about it opens one up to a potentially greater opportunity of rejection.
@@thederpydude2088i think there definitely are certain harmful aspects of one's self that are distructive to both oneself and people around us. Doesn't means that these "harmful aspects" are our shadow, it can as well be part of our ego(you certainly see a lot of people that are just rude and distructive). But the way to deal with them is to come at terms with them and not to fight with it. If you fight it, you only push it in a corner. And you can only push it till you have power, the moment you loose power due to some reason, it will come to bite back
i didnt understand shit, but the drawings have a style that I always loved. This video also helped with procastinating the writing of my bachelors exam, soooo...
“Yourself” as suggested by society = fitting into accepted social norms and never deviating Your actual self = who you really are inside and how you would act if there were no social rules. Too much societal “self” and you fall into the category of average or below and never stand out. Too much “actual self” and you are labeled weird, uncaring, or psychopathic. The most respected, admired, and successful perfectly blend their “actual self” with “societal self”
I think a really cool thing you learned is that people do know themselves more than you give them credit for. That is very true. People so often tend to think that they know others than those people know about themselves but when people talk about their experiences, when you look at it through their perspective, what they say actually makes a lot of sense. When making judgements on how others’ feel, what the person says is very often true.
Being yourself is good advice as long as you are not lazy, socially awkward, out of shape, boring, inexperienced, addicted, passive, indecisive, overly sensitive, depressed person. The problem is everytime I was myself, I would waste time scrolling the internet and social media especially TH-cam, not look for a job, practice coding, not work out, stay up late, neglect my hygiene, avoid meditating. When your whole life is a mess, being yourself is basically remain stuck in a rut and self destruct.
Lol I'm all of those except depressed. I was depressed for awhile, but I've come to enjoy the pleasures of life more than just momentarily. Although i do wanna improve myself, the way i am right now ive accepted is ok too.
@@siddharthkrishna7249 lots and lots of meditating. Remembering that life has dealt me the hand im dealt and it is what it is. A lot of people have it worse and i have a lot of things to be grateful for. Also, the victim mentality only makes things worse.
have you considered looking into therapy? reading your comment reminded me how i used to think about myself and therapy has helped me a ton so maybe itll help you
@@drew2dee2 Therapy is not meant to help you directly with problems. It is intended as a vent. My therapist could not provide me with any assistance in problems that were afflicting me.
@@therealdocThat is not true. The primary purpose of most therapy is to help you best navigate your problems, even if your therapist cannot help fix your problems directly. Part of it is typically to vent emotion, but there’s a lot more past that which it seems you are not knowledgeable of due to inexperience or bad experiences.
@@Freewill_Moder It seems you're not knowledgeable of it either considering you can't provide literally any examples beyond the primary function of therapy.
@@therealdoc You didn't ask, so you can't expect to get that from me. It's also fallacious to assume I can't given you not asking and the fact that my reply to you was rather limited in its scope. I'm plenty knowledgeable, I've gone to therapists and psychology is an interest of mine. I'll explain further. While therapists cannot (generally) make decisions for you, they very often talk through various problems and difficulties with clients to help them figure out what they want to do. For mentally ill people it can sometimes be exceedingly difficult to think with a clear head, and having a well intentioned perspective that cannot legally leverage anything against you can allow you to open up and get an outside view on things which you may be facing alone. Say someone has a bad habit relating to something embarrassing or morally acceptable but socially rejected, that they frequently do. Most people aren't going to have someone they can confidently and safely open up to, and that can lead to cycles of bad habits and mental isolation regarding that topic. Just a little outside input can broaden a person's perspective to prevent those internal cycles from consuming a person. Another example would be helping to form connections. Many people who go to therapy are young and isolated from society at large whether that be due to mental illness or typical social rejection. A therapist can help a person to broaden their horizons to things which they wouldn't have considered otherwise. Some people will get it in their head that there are things that people like them can't do or aren't for, but a therapist can break up a harmful internal status quo in order to find new avenues of life for a person.
It really depends on where you live. In Asian countries, you'll be correct almost all the time. I don't know many places but I'm pretty sure Melbourne is pretty lax on societal standards.
One of the biggest things (at least in my experience) is to be more honest with people. And sometimes even brutally honest. I've had times where I've had to tell people to their face "I'm not comfortable hanging out with you" and that's just how it is. Because if you don't say it, then you'll be uncomfortable every time you and the other person hang out and the other person won't know what's going on. It can be true for positive situations too! Letting people know that you love them or that you enjoyed hanging out can make their day. Not only that, but just being honest in general is a great way to figure out what you like and don't like. And that's how it shows what kind of person you truly are.
I'd love to hear your story of telling someone you don't wanna be around them. 😂 I've had to do it and had it done to me. It's necessary for both parties.
The advice I’ve learned to give is “don’t be anything you’re not”. It’s hard to know exactly who you are, but you can tell when you are trying to act richer, colder, funnier, etc.
mindfulness therapy taught me that we instinctively know who we are and what we want by default when we are born and as we get older, everything we begin to learn distracts us from being our 'true selves'. The hard part is un-learning the false stories we believe about ourselves and the world and once again aligning our decisions and beliefs with what we've always known to feel right to us
It's crazy that after a few events over the past few years have got me thinking these exact questions; from what do i want and how I want to be to that "well who am I, recognizing that the world is inherently an uncaring place and I could potentially not meet any of my goals" and then watching this video makes me reflect on some of that and in a way helps restrengthen these thoughts I had as me not overthinking (or overthinking in the right direction) I guess I just appreciate this channel so much ever since I found it and the work and research you put in these videos helps me have a better understanding of myself and my own existential thought processes I have wayy too much.
You left me questioning everything as the beautiful jazz melody played in the end, I guess identity has been a problem for a long time, I have always been confused on who I am, lost, but I am at comfort with whatever being I am now, a favourite line from a great anime, "whatever happens, happens"
Your videos sometimes feel like a message indirectly from God. Timing feels so convenient to the fluctuations in my mind. When i feel like im swerving off the path, your videos sway me back into the correct direction.
"Just be yourself. But not THAT self, yknow..." More like "Just change yourself up to the point when 'yourself' is actually the person i would want you to be" That's what i've heard when i've had low self-esteem when somebody close and important to me told me "Just be yourself". Right now i have an adequate self-esteem and feel hella good lately, and i still stand by what i've heard, and not by that advice, which did not work for me, did not "open my eyes", have not freed me of burden of excessive self-punishment, even though i see how liberating this advice could be for people who have heard it for the first time. I understand why this is a commonly given advice. I understand that it implies that everybody has their internal value, and even though it may differ from person to person, in case of low self-esteem that value is always much more than we give ourselves. Advice itself, "Just be yourself", also implies that a person "is not themself" at the moment, which is inherently somehow always worse. Even if a person tries their best to push forward and improve, even if it's not in their nature. Or even if a person puts on the mask, in order to "fake it till they make it". Why is this bad, if in so many places in society it is actually rewarded? Why "not being yourself", when this advice is given, is always something bad? Is it because person doesn't treat themself well and in a long run it results in comparing, lower motivation, self-esteem, and degradation? But that's not always the case. I've faked my enjoyment at the party up until the moment i've soaked everyone's vibe so much that it wasn't fake for me anymore. Yes, i do fake my emotions and even my intentions sometimes. Yes, i do admit that it may backfire if not treated properly. Yes, it did backfire in my life. And yes, i do manage to manage it, and more than not, that little strat gave quite more positive results than negative ones for me. I understand that society is quite shitty and values of society != values of individuals. I understand that some important institutions often treats people as resources and don't even consider individuals needs, sacrificing them for something else, something that is always greater than just one or few individuals. If it's profits, or ideas, or order of how things go - it doesn't matter. I understand that if many enough people are pushing through themselves in order to achieve something, it will become the new norm. And i think it already did. And it think it was the case for quite a long time. And i think as unnatural it might be for a single human as a whole system, as natural it is for society as a whole system. And yes, that is not good for an individual. I agree that in this sense, "Just being yourself", no matter how much value a person holds, is always better for an individual, at least for their internal well-being, if we don't count anything external. But i refuse to agree that this advice is something that should be given as something inherently "good" or "better" than it's opposite, at least in most places in the world right now. It's not that simple. Sometimes people just can't afford to "just be themselves". Sometimes not being yourself actually in the moment actually ALLOWS you to be yourself in a long run. It's a trade everyone made in their life at least once. Some saw right through it. Some haven't. It is quite sad that things are the way they are, but at least there is an abundance of memes to cope.
Honestly I think its far better advice to say "Do something everyday that getsvyou just a little bit closer to the person you want to be" Because sometimes who we are can hinder us. Alot of aspects of ourselves keeo us from reaching out full potential. But thinking about who you mwat to be amd how you would get closer to who that person is. That motivates and inspired you and makes you think about how your identity was formed and was to construct a newer healthier one
I legit woke up at 6am to get ready for a dissertation defense followed immediately by a job interview and this dropped like 2 hours before the meeting. Synchronicity is becoming a more and more likely phenomenon
It is just coincidence. Do you think his whole life was designed or 'divinely guided' so that he would post it exactly 2 hours before your meeting, for you personally? People tend to see the world only from their perspective and revolving around oneself. Don't try to fill in cause and effect. We cannot comprehend cause and effect at such large scales. Anyways, good luck with your defense and interview!
It's more so that our current circumstances shape our salience landscape more than you know, so relevant things and striking coincidences come to your awareness more readily. Synchronicity is a highlighter, not a pen.
@@ThiemenDoppenbergyeah yeah luck is a purely psychological phenomenon that is out of your complete control so why rely on it. But if he feels lucky let him my guy
Definitely going to need to watch this again. Badass topic & whoever decided to put numbers/logic/plot to it all was looking for the key! The difficult part I’m trying to contemplate is maneuvering through a social life while following these concepts. There is so much interplay & a TON of self-discipline that would allow someone to be themselves. This almost defies being social? I think losing the self in the right moments would be the way to allow for the universe to give you the right path? Idk sweet content man, thank you a lot 🧠
“Just be yourself” is a bit of an experience for me cause im trans, being myself is hard, i know who i am im a guy, but what kind? Am i really? Or do i just like being *called* as one? And if i when i am “being myself” i feel left out since, i when i be myself it’s either im annoying or I’m entirely silent,and im scared of what people think of me, i dont want them to fear me, but being me kinda results in that
I don’t dread the term “be yourself” because I’m emotionally complex I don’t think, I dread it cause I think I’m too boring. The only things that really interest me at all are a few niche subjects that I find a lot of joy in, and the only thing that I feel truly motivated by in life is to share my interests with others so they can share in the joy I feel. But most people aren’t really interested in them and/or the subjects don’t really come up all too much in normal everyday life. So I find that I spend most of my social life going through the motions of conversation and interaction that I don’t find meaningful at all, just to get through it so I can be by myself and do the things I actually like again. Does anyone else feel like this?
When I was a teen, back in the 1980s, I got the notion that the teenage years are a time to learn about oneself, who we are and, sometimes unfortunately, who we are not. As I got older, I started to suspect that most people don't do this, or maybe they do it a bit in college, if they get to college. A lot of people seem to live on auto pilot, chasing after material thigs others have told them they want. The true 'rat race' in my very humble opinion. I also think we are all subject to society's influences as well as commercial marketing. None of us could ever become a fulile bustule of pworging mystacial, because that does not exist in our reality. It's not a choice we can make or a thing we can want. It's amusing to me that so many people who advise us to "Be Yourself" will also ask us, "Why are you like that?!?" when we follow their 'advice' ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I find it helps to have a sense of humor and not to take myself, or anyone else, too seriously
Every time someone tells me to “be myself”,all I hear is that they want me to be a psychotic,troubled person with no sense of self preservation. I’m actively going out of my way to NOT be myself,and you’re basically trying to enable me
uh, I wouldn't go that far, dude. maybe SOME people who say that actually want to help but don't know how. it's a standard response, honestly. It's just something you say and THINK it has a nice meaning to it, ya know?
Thank you, you have reminded me of who I am. Who I really am, I struggle remembering it, because it's not something you can expect of others to tell you "Remember who you are", I've only heard/read this sentence when someone unintentionally puts an expectation on you that is not you, but a you that they perceive and know as. Of course, sometimes, even the people you're closest to, seem to know who you are, because they have been observing you, but even then, they don't know you, the way you know yourself, because they themselves are struggling with knowing who they are. Thank you for reminding me. 😊
I have this shitty thing where as soon as I lose my main interest, being a friendgroup, specific topic or hobby, I get really depressed. The more things I surround myself with, the less down I feel. The more down I feel, the harder it is to surround myself with distractions. Kinda funny that this whole internal crisis is a weird evolution glitch lmao
The balance between self examination and self obsession is tricky to manage. Although, growing up gay in the late 70's and early 80, I was forced into a lot of introspection that others didn't need to engage with just to survive, I would say that the process of knowing or at least accepting the self is a much longer term process and the demands of a busy life leave little time for what the community at large sees as self indulgence. As retirement approached and widowhood was thrust upon me, wave after wave of self realization came over me. Growth is a lifelong thing if we let it be and I am glad I allowed this process to continue into old age because it has helped me to deal with all manner of social dynamics with confidence, whether outcomes were positive or negative instead of socially normative responses that do not fit. I am, at heart a cynic.
being yourself in a lot of ways is being the version of yourself that has been slowly stretched and transformed like play-doe by the suffering and negative situations you have experienced and endured throughout your life. being the version of yourself you believe you can be is much easier in my experience the hardest part is being easy on yourself when you make mistakes
I have been wondering how to word this for a conversation with my friends. "Self enlightenment" As external validation is only really a social construct based off of drama, idealism, and other ideologies. I believe that for some people true self expression or self enlightenment, comes from time and learning to find validation internally. As you are the only person in your head at the end of the day, at least you can use the resources around you to help yourself and others. "Life sucks and then you die; you might as well make the best of it" “Truth is not what you want it to be; It is what it is and you must bend to its power or live a lie.”
When people say this,I think they're saying not to be fake...not to put on an act, to please others. The problem is, if they don't like how you really are, they tell you to change yourself. "Be yourself" in practice means "be yourself, unless you aren't genuinely outgoing, gregarious, positive, and extroverted.... in which case you should seem to be those things."
You are what your spirit is. You are not physical. You are spirit inhabiting a physical body to experince this physical reality. When you "die", you shed your physical body and continue living as spirit with the same personality and issues you had seconds before you "died". You can reincarnate into any lifeform on any planet. You are spirit with or without a physical body at any given time. You are spirit. You never die.
When people say that they are referencing the narrative and identity of you that they have in their own head. You can try to suss out what that is, and why they want you to be it, but it has no promise of a genuine connection to who or what you actually are or want to be.
I feel like the best example of me not being myself is that there are many people who know different versions of me. In reality I feel like all those personas should show in every expression of myself
I was extremely revolted with life as I was a teen because of depression. I would act without having others into consideration. I lost my girlfriend and looking back I was the worst possible person for her while she was the best person I could ever asked for. The regret will never leave and I will always be trying to make myself a better person without ever accomplishing happiness doing so
This question has always bothered me, because how much agency do you really have to “be yourself?” It’s been demonstrated countless times that people are a product of their upbringing. Those who grow up in abusive households tend to be abusers themselves, while people who grow up under narcissistic parents tend to be narcissists. It seems our identity is owed extensively to the environment that surrounds our development. And sure, perhaps people can force themselves to change for the better, but isn’t this just conforming to what society wants, too? What if your identity is one that other people despise? Should you even try to “be yourself?” Just a thought.
I feel seen. I've been trying to do this stuff for a while now and a friend recommended this video to me. I also feel less alone knowing that this isn't just something I'm going through, especially when so many people are interested in this very well-made video. Thank you.
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Though I do appreciate authenticity, I also have to say that I'm personally more interested in trying to be the best version of myself. Instead of the average habit follower version of myself. I don't think I'm being 'authentic' when I'm being predictable, but I feel authentic when my behaviours are aligned with my values and goals, which I just realized was the topic of the video. However being yourself seems to imply that you have to be comfortable with your actions or words, whereas being the best version of yourself necessarily requires some kind of struggle because nobody is really perfect. I'm also in peace with transforming my identity as convenient (for my values and goals) as it makes me more flexible and allows me to grow and be better, which necessarily require to change myself somehow. Identity (sometimes) is overrated. My personal recommendation would be: 1 Have clear values (or figure them out) 2 Design goals aligned with your values and 3 adjust the way you are following first your values and then your goals.
There's a great song by german duo BRUCKNER called ''Wer wir sind'' talking about how everyone tells you to just be yourself, but everybody means someone else with that statement.
Same. Or at least I wouldn't be honest with them. I think that nearly every aspect of "me" is performative, every interest, hobby or routine simply employed to be perceived better with the goal being admiration. The only things I enjoy that aren't related to that are getting off sexually, eating, the appearance of the world around me, certain smells, certain sounds. All sensory, anything related to personality is a stressor for me. Obviously I can't tell anyone in my real life much of this. Only writing this all out here because it isn't something I've really thought out so simply before, documenting it and hoping that someone gives attention for it. Ha ha ha, so meta.
You getting into motives reminded me my old view on life I had for several years in my early 20s. I wanted to learn everything I could possibly learn and live a long time to further that. That was my one true core belief and path I had that kept me pointing north and gave me infinite things to do. The world shutting down for 3 years I think messed that up. I had even more time to learn more and more things. But, the analysis paralysis likely caused me to be overwhelmed that later led to me trying to "figure out my life" while completely forgetting that I simply love learning. There's a study that shows children who dabble in a lot of different sports from childhood to their young adulthood had a significantly higher chance of going pro than children who stuck with one sport in the beginning. I didn't know that in my early 20s but now that'll be a constant reminder to continue to explore without worrying about sticking with something yet. My time will come and so will yours. I hated when people said this to me the past 3 years but remembering that my core belief erases the need to find purpose. For now, learning is my purpose.
i always laugh a little when your videos get recommended to me, because whatever topic the video is about 95% of the time is something that i need help with lmao. i know you don't know me, but thank you for putting in the effort to make these videos- I really appreciate it 💙 - a weird creature of a 14 year old
I've been the person this video describes. I remember it very well. It was the best time of my life. But I made some choices that took me in the opposite direction. Today I am fighting to come back to what was, the truth of me, and I will succeed.
For some people being genuine is hard . They have little confidences in their personality . Its easy for me to be genuine because i have had little to hide from. But, if you hide . How can you be helped ? Take the mask off . Its hard , but when you do , you will discover the genuine lovely person that is you. Dont listen to friends or crap . This video could be crap for some . Lusten to your heart . Your own spirit is your best instructor.
Be myself and probably end up in jail. I do want to be constrained by life's unwritten rules. I dont want to work for anybody, i dont want anybody working for me, they can do whatever they want. I dont want anything to do with money, but i don't want to end up on the streets. I dont want superiors, and i want to be superior to no one. There is no place on this planet for me. This made me very sad and i tried to kms 12 years ago as a teen. From that day, i learned that all life is pain, with small flashes of bright days that grow more distant from the last. It didnt really matter if i did kill myself or not that day, life would have continued the same. Theres a lot of people on this planet, only a few strong ones get to have their day, and only a handful of rich ones get to enjoy all of it. As for the rest of us, we're meant to work, and to wonder what's the right path. To work and have a house and family? To break the cycle and take what you want without care for repercussion? I firmly believe many people were born without a chance. A sad revelation in this hellscape we call a planet. Thanks for reading, have a good day.
My definition of "being yourself", is by being honest towards yourself as that will promote honesty to others. It is not a long and complex definition, it is like saying "just go with it", as in you work with what you are capable with. If you're honest, this shouldn't be no issue to understand and what to do, the complications occur when you set out to make friends or fit in a certain crowd where most of them are a like and you need to make adjustments to be accepted or else you might end up like the neglected odd on out (that also varies on the people). This socialwebpopculture has forever ruined generations after generations making them think and act a certain type of way which is passed off as "cool". I don't want to get technical because that would end up like a small book on the comment section, because there are so many types of personalities but to my very eyes I only see the same 3-4 types. The push to be artificial just to fit in with a certain crowd...
be yourself implies free will, because if there is no free will you are always yourself uncontrollably including if you are being disingenuous or distant
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Yooo
Good opportunity to test brilliant :)
What’s the music that starts playing at the brilliant ad? I ironically really like it haha
My definition of "being yourself", is by being honest towards yourself as that will promote honesty to others. It is not a long and complex definition, it is like saying "just go with it", as in you work with what you are capable with. If you're honest, this shouldn't be no issue to understand and what to do, the complications occur when you set out to make friends or fit in a certain crowd where most of them are a like and you need to make adjustments to be accepted or else you might end up like the neglected odd on out (that also varies on the people). This socialwebpopculture has forever ruined generations after generations making them think and act a certain type of way which is passed off as "cool". I don't want to get technical because that would end up like a small book on the comment section, because there are so many types of personalities but to my very eyes I only see the same 3-4 types. The push to be artificial just to fit in with a certain crowd...
I have personally found that 'be genuine' is a far better phrase. In 'being yourself' lies this assumption that the situation has all ready been experienced and a stance has been formed in congruence with ones perceived identity, but 'being genuine' is more dynamic in nature and can be applied to the reaction to new situations and varying reactions to prior situations.
Thankyou!!!!
Thank you so, so much! This is brilliant
Be authentic
@@rang9245 be sincere
@@douwe8293 ive never googled the definition of sincrere, far better word
Being myself is easy. Being myself without getting fired, divorced, or shunned is the hard part.
Yep, if I become myself I will play GTA on real life and it won't last long.
@@healord51 Okay edgy boi
well maybe beeing urself, means beeing urself infront of urself and not only in front of others :0
I hate when people construe being yourself with being a horrible person, if your "true" self is rude, mean and terrible to be around maybe you have to improve who you are. I'm perfectly fine with being myself, even if it narrows who can be around me, because I like the people who can appreciate me fully and not those who get weirded out by me, you form more meaningful connections, and can easily weed through the fake people in your life.
Being yourself is literally just being consistent with who you are, act the way you act at home at school, why hide who you are by being a boring copy of everyone else? I always find people like me more when I'm myself and those who don't were never worth it in the first place. I think the only time you should not be yourself is probably in the workplace or more formal places, but in most social settings, do definitely be yourself.
Exactly, most people don't understand this
It’s 5am and I’m ready to question my existence
i'm ready to question your existence as well
gmt gang
same
yuppp
and what did you conclude?
Being yourself is way harder than you think, i got a friend who got called names and bullied for purely being himself, which causes him to have a hard time with people and friends, and gonna be an even harder time to find someone who accepts who he truly is
Your friend is literally me
Sounds like he needs some introspection
@@FallingFeeling212 Both sides needs it.
@@FallingFeeling212 lol sounds like he needs to be someone else, maybe someone like you, bc you sound thoughtful and kind /s
@@jackgude3969 There is literally nothing wrong with telling someone they need to look inward and figure out why they are having such a hard time with anything in life including themselves and others. No idea why you had to be such a sarcastic prick but whatever I could honestly care less
For me the big break was really just learning to be emotionally honest with people. To tell them I am not in the mood as opposed to making up some excuse as to why I’m not going to the party. To express discomfort or insecurity in a way such that my actions aren’t just out of left field for everyone around me. I don’t really feel a need to hold secrets anymore and as such I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life
I've stopped being super secretive too. When someone asks me a personal question I pretty much always give an answer. What's hard for me though is in my behavior/how I present to the world. There's still part of me that's "traumatized" from my awkward experiences in school. I think this video is a good reminder to start meditating which I've been meaning to do for a while.
The last few years I've developed in the complete opposite way and feel terrible because of it. I have a constant feeling I need to hide parts of me to others and sometimes even myself. Canceling my attendance of certain events that trigger social anxiety (usually in new environments, I don't get it from going to i.e. a local bar or park) with excuses, getting paranoid of someone checking my social media searches when they borrow my phone or I use their wifi (because they might judge it as cringe, boring, controversial or whatever), not doing things because I might do them wrong, etc.
I've kinda had this since my mid-20's but in no way as strong as it has been for the past two years or so. Any advice on which tiny baby steps to take?
@@KarlSnarks Aknowledge your own feelings first. Try to think of why you really feel the way you do and understand what is making you uncomfortable or angry or dissatisfied, then work on accepting those feelings internally and not being ashamed of them when they come up. Once you're comfortable with that, try to find ways you can mitigate and work with those feelings, and ultimately express them to others in a way they can understand you and empathize.
A tip for the latter is that you don't need to express every detail to be honest to others. It's fine to say you're simply uncomfortable swimming in public instead of saying you have severe body dysmorphia for example. People will understand, and you're often surprised by the accomodations they will make if you're just honest about what's bothering you.
My one concrete tip for you would just be to go to these events and aknowledge to others you have a degree of social anxiety. If you can just own it and accept you'll be a bit akward here and there you'll forget about it fairly quickly. A real life hack here is to just talk about prior akward experiences, the really bad ones you think about while lying in bed at night, it's a real into the flames type of deal, but it's a fantastic way to humble yourself while also letting others get to know you. You can't transform your mind in a day, but it's certainly a way to make it go a lot quicker.
You vill own no secrets, and you vill be happy.
You have to be careful who you tell things to though because not everyone’s in your best interest
personally i think “being yourself” is difficult because sometimes who we perceive as ourselves can hold us back from who we really are. in social situations i get in my own head a lot and appear to be really quiet, which i am naturally. but when i associate that “quietness” with being myself i block myself from making conversation because it’s “not who i am”. for me i would say to “be who you really are”. it helps to peel back the layers of made up personality and get to what’s actually me.
Yeah being yourself does not equal don't improve yourself. If you're naturally quiet and want to be more outgoing, work towards it, don't settle on "I'm just a quiet person".
Instead of "be yourself" it should be "be your best self"
@@kelechi_77 Yeah exactly. I was quiet in school (well mostly) and tended to be alone. I don't always like being quiet and honestly some of it was just because I was too worried to talk much. I decided to just try talking to people anyways. While I am still not where I would like to be, I have an easier time talking to strangers now. It does help that people tend to like me, but I don't know what I would have done if that were different.
Buddhism dives into this a bit. Essentially, there is only the present moment and we can choose how we want to be in it. However, because of our internal narratives and patterns, we instead automatically adhere to a role that we're comfortable fitting into.
It's possible to change those patterns, but like most growth, there's discomfort in it. What helps me is checking in with my breath and the moment. Then, instead of defaulting to what my "mind" perceives me as, I engage with curiosity and openness.
im like this too. it's complicated because it's useful to know who we are, but when we start to assign an identity to ourselves it can hold us back. ideally we should be spontaneous without tying ourselves to an identity made for us by past experiences, but at the same time act coherently to who we really are. idk it's kinda hard for me to wrap my head around but im slowly figuring it out
Being onesself is more of a gut feeling imo, you basically know when youre not being yourself just to fit in
fr
It's more than just that, but yeah, that's a really good metric for determining whether or not you're living up to the ideal of sincerity
@@beansworth5694 of course its a bit more than that, but its the simplest way for oneself to check imo
what if part of being oneself for a person is, trying to fit in and doing stuff based on other people's view
@@Burbie we both know its not what its meant by that, otherwise youre always yourself, even on drugs, after torture or whatever else youre influenced by
The idea that you are pursuing goals to be yourself sounds like a dog who chases his tail and enjoys it. Really great video.
good comparison!
One must imagine Spot to be a good boy
And never catches it
this is the perfect example of mindfulness
All roads lead back to the one Sisyphus is on
Look, when someone says 'be yourself', what they really mean is that they want you to put on a performance of genuine comfort with yourself and interest in the things you like, but in a socially acceptable manner. If you're anxious or disquieted with yourself or in a place where you don't get joy from things- tough, 'be yourself' instead.
You've hit the nail on the head with painfully blunt accuracy...
No, they want you to be comfortable in your own skin and have confidence in yourself and the things you do. Being uncomfortable with yourself can only be solved by building confidence through "being yourself," i.e., being your confident or best self.
@@dropyourself Yeah, the individual person might mean something closer to this instead, but the statement 'be yourself' more often serves to enforce the thing OP said than as a healthy confidence booster when it's just said on its own like that.
@@dropyourselfwould you like someone become you’re worst enemy, just so that they can be themself?
This isn't just blunt, this is blunt force trauma
Sadly, very true though
This guys taste in jazz is unmatched
I literally, physically and mentally, find so much comfort from your videos. You make complicated subjects (not just philosophies) look so much simpler to understand. You made me understand more about myself, and the world around me. Bro, I hope you know that you’re amazing, underrated and the coolest person ever.
Wholesome AF.
Yeah life isn’t complicated and anxiety makes life feel complex. This video is great.
personally ive just abandoned the idea of boiling down people to simple terms, you certainly can spot some recurring themes in peoples behavior. But this thing about categorizing and labeling everything is an illogical want we have as humans. I think the truth is that not everything can be labeled and simply accept it as it is.
Everything *can* be labeled, but be aware that you're only able to usefully and accurately apply labels to a moment of relational occurrence rather than the whole of the thing in all of its complexity. The drive to conceive of labels is only as useful and rational as its application in use, and that oftentimes comes down to communication. Acceptance of things as-is before making an effort to identify and/or change them is a necessary perquisite, but it doesn't actually have to be the endgame as I see it
babe wakeup sisyphus just dropped new existential crisis.
I think better way of saying it is "be honest". Don't hide behind a mask. Be natural. If a person doesn't like you that way you shouldn't commune with them in the first place.
Interesting to see research backing what I have been slowly empirically noticing lately.
I usually break down this "jUsT bE YoUrSeLF!" advice into two more complex to explain ones.
1 - Have a designed intent behind everything you do and be conscient of it at all times
2 - Have sound internal integrity between what you value and your designed intents (that translates to actions)
Love this !
Becoming yourself is pretty simple if you ask me. It means to peel away the toxic layers from your ego, I'm not implying you should abandon your ego, I'm just saying you should part ways with the behaviours of which you know does not provide any "good" to you or the world (with "good" I assume you have a considerable developed conscience to objectively determine what is useful and what is not). As you keep doing this, you'll find you become lighter, quicker and clearer in mind, your life becomes more and more about growing towards; doing what you're good at, doing what you enjoy, doing what gives you purpose, and (if you need to) being willed to sacrifice for those desires.
Basically, all of this requires you to be not afraid to grow, or to be not afraid of discomfort. I'm not saying comfort is bad, I'm just saying who ever you are, if you stay in your safe cocoon for too long, you'll stagnate. Stagnation is not natural. Look at life, nature, the galaxy, everything around you is constantly evolving. Children are constantly discovering. Your body may grow older but the power within yourself never decays. Yet, when we grow older we tend to become more rigid. This rigidity (in my opinion) is turning yourself against yourself, or turning yourself against nature.
Anxiety, addiction, ignorance, arrogance, insecurity, denial, hatred, information overload, too much stress (or over working), or lack of responsibility and stress (procrastination and laziness), etc. ~Deep down we all know what's good for us and what is not, we all deal with one (or more) of these issues, yet we keep running in cycles, because in the moment, the wrong choices seem more appealing than the right ones, which are ugly and uncomfortable, but of which we know will eventually set us free.
I believe that if we want to understand ourselves better for who we are, specifically understanding our personal problems, than it's a better option to ask how do I solve this than to ask why am I the way I am, or why do I do this. Because, you see, 9 out of 10 times if you first answer the how (through taking considerable action) the why will float to the surface automatically...
Being yourself means to constantly become a better version of who you already are, just by shifting your focus on what helps you and the one's that are dear to you.
Of course you will make all the wrong choices, of course you will experience discomfort, and of course you will fall ten thousand times, but each time when you stand up again and take a new step in the right direction you are actually taking a step closer towards who you really are, when you struggle, when you find joy, when you persevere and when you truly experience, THAT is when to real you is enfolding itself, the you who is unconditionally loving and without any inhibition. The you who is devoted to grow, devoted to do what is necessary, devoted to do what is right, devoted to make your dreams come true, (and if necessary) devoted to suffer, that is the you who is simply devoted to live life! Devoted to be a present for the present. If you do your best in whatever it is that you're doing and TRUST the process, then your authenticity will come to the surface naturally...
It doesn't need to be complicated, it just has to be honest and sincere.
I think eventually it boils down to taking a hard stare at oneself and deciding what they wish to achieve in the long-term and in the short-term depending on the circumstances and aligning their actions and motivations with their pursuit. But because we spend majority of our time and lives in the pursuit, making that conquest worthwhile and satisfying is where one's happiness and fulfilment lies.
I get hurt a lot day to day. I don't choose it, and sometimes I try to be myself, but myself isn't the healthiest ya know.
What “Be Yourself” means to me, is “Just be naturally what you are”. Don’t try to force yourself to be something else just to get others to accept you or get their approval. I have noticed that just being myself is enough and I’ve met some pretty cool people along the way
I think its also important to note that yourself can change and thats ok. Sometimes i find myself holding back on things I want to do or falling back into old bad habits because i feel like thats “who I am”. But no! We can all grow, the self is always changing!
Nah this is crazy... last night I was like "I wish Sisyphus 55 would drop another video soon" wake up this morning to a new video. Bro never misses ngl.
There's definitely still something here to be said about the fear of the self... The fear of confronting the sometimes ugly truths of ourselves, the shadow. Finding, expressing, and accepting this so called self is certainly a journey!
Oftentimes there isn't even anything harmful about a certain part of one's self, but allowing others to know about it opens one up to a potentially greater opportunity of rejection.
@@thederpydude2088i think there definitely are certain harmful aspects of one's self that are distructive to both oneself and people around us. Doesn't means that these "harmful aspects" are our shadow, it can as well be part of our ego(you certainly see a lot of people that are just rude and distructive). But the way to deal with them is to come at terms with them and not to fight with it. If you fight it, you only push it in a corner. And you can only push it till you have power, the moment you loose power due to some reason, it will come to bite back
Being ”yourself” is pretty difficult, if you’d take into consideration that every person are who they are because of the people around them.
Being my self would flash out anger at most of the people I meet after that flare cooled down I would come down but first I would attack him/her/it.
That's interesting 😃.
i didnt understand shit, but the drawings have a style that I always loved. This video also helped with procastinating the writing of my bachelors exam, soooo...
Don't put it off too much. I made that mistake for a 50 page paper lol.
same everything went above my head
“Yourself” as suggested by society = fitting into accepted social norms and never deviating
Your actual self = who you really are inside and how you would act if there were no social rules.
Too much societal “self” and you fall into the category of average or below and never stand out. Too much “actual self” and you are labeled weird, uncaring, or psychopathic.
The most respected, admired, and successful perfectly blend their “actual self” with “societal self”
Society: just be yourself!
Me: tries to be myself
Society: no not like that!
I think a really cool thing you learned is that people do know themselves more than you give them credit for. That is very true. People so often tend to think that they know others than those people know about themselves but when people talk about their experiences, when you look at it through their perspective, what they say actually makes a lot of sense. When making judgements on how others’ feel, what the person says is very often true.
Self worth = being who who think you are/should be
Self love = discovering who you be and loving that
Being yourself is good advice as long as you are not lazy, socially awkward, out of shape, boring, inexperienced, addicted, passive, indecisive, overly sensitive, depressed person. The problem is everytime I was myself, I would waste time scrolling the internet and social media especially TH-cam, not look for a job, practice coding, not work out, stay up late, neglect my hygiene, avoid meditating. When your whole life is a mess, being yourself is basically remain stuck in a rut and self destruct.
Lol I'm all of those except depressed. I was depressed for awhile, but I've come to enjoy the pleasures of life more than just momentarily. Although i do wanna improve myself, the way i am right now ive accepted is ok too.
@@daredevil2724 How did you accept your situation?
@@siddharthkrishna7249 lots and lots of meditating. Remembering that life has dealt me the hand im dealt and it is what it is. A lot of people have it worse and i have a lot of things to be grateful for. Also, the victim mentality only makes things worse.
my self is fundamentally flawed and there is no possibility of recovering from the state i am in and have been in all i deserve is unalive
have you considered looking into therapy? reading your comment reminded me how i used to think about myself and therapy has helped me a ton so maybe itll help you
@@drew2dee2 Therapy is not meant to help you directly with problems. It is intended as a vent. My therapist could not provide me with any assistance in problems that were afflicting me.
@@therealdocThat is not true. The primary purpose of most therapy is to help you best navigate your problems, even if your therapist cannot help fix your problems directly. Part of it is typically to vent emotion, but there’s a lot more past that which it seems you are not knowledgeable of due to inexperience or bad experiences.
@@Freewill_Moder It seems you're not knowledgeable of it either considering you can't provide literally any examples beyond the primary function of therapy.
@@therealdoc You didn't ask, so you can't expect to get that from me. It's also fallacious to assume I can't given you not asking and the fact that my reply to you was rather limited in its scope. I'm plenty knowledgeable, I've gone to therapists and psychology is an interest of mine. I'll explain further.
While therapists cannot (generally) make decisions for you, they very often talk through various problems and difficulties with clients to help them figure out what they want to do. For mentally ill people it can sometimes be exceedingly difficult to think with a clear head, and having a well intentioned perspective that cannot legally leverage anything against you can allow you to open up and get an outside view on things which you may be facing alone.
Say someone has a bad habit relating to something embarrassing or morally acceptable but socially rejected, that they frequently do. Most people aren't going to have someone they can confidently and safely open up to, and that can lead to cycles of bad habits and mental isolation regarding that topic. Just a little outside input can broaden a person's perspective to prevent those internal cycles from consuming a person.
Another example would be helping to form connections. Many people who go to therapy are young and isolated from society at large whether that be due to mental illness or typical social rejection. A therapist can help a person to broaden their horizons to things which they wouldn't have considered otherwise. Some people will get it in their head that there are things that people like them can't do or aren't for, but a therapist can break up a harmful internal status quo in order to find new avenues of life for a person.
Awesome stuff, man. Your animation keeps improving too! The stick figures are gaining some more elaborate movesets and I'm loving it!
This "call" is hypocrisy, the society at large don't want to be your true self it wants you to be a good little cog in the system.
It really depends on where you live. In Asian countries, you'll be correct almost all the time. I don't know many places but I'm pretty sure Melbourne is pretty lax on societal standards.
@@sg5sd Yeah, this "call" is really reserved to certain white-skinned western countries and even then limited to certain wealth class.
@@sg5sdno they just have different societal standards
One of the biggest things (at least in my experience) is to be more honest with people. And sometimes even brutally honest. I've had times where I've had to tell people to their face "I'm not comfortable hanging out with you" and that's just how it is. Because if you don't say it, then you'll be uncomfortable every time you and the other person hang out and the other person won't know what's going on. It can be true for positive situations too! Letting people know that you love them or that you enjoyed hanging out can make their day. Not only that, but just being honest in general is a great way to figure out what you like and don't like. And that's how it shows what kind of person you truly are.
I'd love to hear your story of telling someone you don't wanna be around them. 😂
I've had to do it and had it done to me. It's necessary for both parties.
Yeah it's not always great to be honest to people, especially if it turns out the worst when you are.
To truly be yourself, you have to trust yourself, and that is a exceedingly rare thing in people.
The advice I’ve learned to give is “don’t be anything you’re not”. It’s hard to know exactly who you are, but you can tell when you are trying to act richer, colder, funnier, etc.
Sometimes being yourself is not enough. Sometimes you have to become yourself.
ima steal that quote rq
mindfulness therapy taught me that we instinctively know who we are and what we want by default when we are born and as we get older, everything we begin to learn distracts us from being our 'true selves'. The hard part is un-learning the false stories we believe about ourselves and the world and once again aligning our decisions and beliefs with what we've always known to feel right to us
“just be yourself” is something way deeper. dmt will show you the meaning of it
It's crazy that after a few events over the past few years have got me thinking these exact questions; from what do i want and how I want to be to that "well who am I, recognizing that the world is inherently an uncaring place and I could potentially not meet any of my goals" and then watching this video makes me reflect on some of that and in a way helps restrengthen these thoughts I had as me not overthinking (or overthinking in the right direction)
I guess I just appreciate this channel so much ever since I found it and the work and research you put in these videos helps me have a better understanding of myself and my own existential thought processes I have wayy too much.
You left me questioning everything as the beautiful jazz melody played in the end, I guess identity has been a problem for a long time, I have always been confused on who I am, lost, but I am at comfort with whatever being I am now, a favourite line from a great anime, "whatever happens, happens"
Most of the time being myself involves emotional outpouring followed by a long awkward silence
Your videos sometimes feel like a message indirectly from God. Timing feels so convenient to the fluctuations in my mind. When i feel like im swerving off the path, your videos sway me back into the correct direction.
"Just be yourself. But not THAT self, yknow..."
More like "Just change yourself up to the point when 'yourself' is actually the person i would want you to be"
That's what i've heard when i've had low self-esteem when somebody close and important to me told me "Just be yourself".
Right now i have an adequate self-esteem and feel hella good lately, and i still stand by what i've heard, and not by that advice, which did not work for me, did not "open my eyes", have not freed me of burden of excessive self-punishment, even though i see how liberating this advice could be for people who have heard it for the first time.
I understand why this is a commonly given advice.
I understand that it implies that everybody has their internal value, and even though it may differ from person to person, in case of low self-esteem that value is always much more than we give ourselves.
Advice itself, "Just be yourself", also implies that a person "is not themself" at the moment, which is inherently somehow always worse. Even if a person tries their best to push forward and improve, even if it's not in their nature. Or even if a person puts on the mask, in order to "fake it till they make it".
Why is this bad, if in so many places in society it is actually rewarded?
Why "not being yourself", when this advice is given, is always something bad?
Is it because person doesn't treat themself well and in a long run it results in comparing, lower motivation, self-esteem, and degradation?
But that's not always the case. I've faked my enjoyment at the party up until the moment i've soaked everyone's vibe so much that it wasn't fake for me anymore. Yes, i do fake my emotions and even my intentions sometimes. Yes, i do admit that it may backfire if not treated properly. Yes, it did backfire in my life. And yes, i do manage to manage it, and more than not, that little strat gave quite more positive results than negative ones for me.
I understand that society is quite shitty and values of society != values of individuals.
I understand that some important institutions often treats people as resources and don't even consider individuals needs, sacrificing them for something else, something that is always greater than just one or few individuals. If it's profits, or ideas, or order of how things go - it doesn't matter.
I understand that if many enough people are pushing through themselves in order to achieve something, it will become the new norm. And i think it already did. And it think it was the case for quite a long time. And i think as unnatural it might be for a single human as a whole system, as natural it is for society as a whole system. And yes, that is not good for an individual.
I agree that in this sense, "Just being yourself", no matter how much value a person holds, is always better for an individual, at least for their internal well-being, if we don't count anything external.
But i refuse to agree that this advice is something that should be given as something inherently "good" or "better" than it's opposite, at least in most places in the world right now.
It's not that simple. Sometimes people just can't afford to "just be themselves". Sometimes not being yourself actually in the moment actually ALLOWS you to be yourself in a long run. It's a trade everyone made in their life at least once. Some saw right through it. Some haven't.
It is quite sad that things are the way they are, but at least there is an abundance of memes to cope.
Honestly I think its far better advice to say "Do something everyday that getsvyou just a little bit closer to the person you want to be"
Because sometimes who we are can hinder us. Alot of aspects of ourselves keeo us from reaching out full potential. But thinking about who you mwat to be amd how you would get closer to who that person is. That motivates and inspired you and makes you think about how your identity was formed and was to construct a newer healthier one
I legit woke up at 6am to get ready for a dissertation defense followed immediately by a job interview and this dropped like 2 hours before the meeting. Synchronicity is becoming a more and more likely phenomenon
It is just coincidence. Do you think his whole life was designed or 'divinely guided' so that he would post it exactly 2 hours before your meeting, for you personally? People tend to see the world only from their perspective and revolving around oneself. Don't try to fill in cause and effect. We cannot comprehend cause and effect at such large scales. Anyways, good luck with your defense and interview!
It's more so that our current circumstances shape our salience landscape more than you know, so relevant things and striking coincidences come to your awareness more readily. Synchronicity is a highlighter, not a pen.
sorry to disappoint but its likely just cognitive bias
@@ThiemenDoppenbergyeah yeah luck is a purely psychological phenomenon that is out of your complete control so why rely on it. But if he feels lucky let him my guy
Definitely going to need to watch this again. Badass topic & whoever decided to put numbers/logic/plot to it all was looking for the key!
The difficult part I’m trying to contemplate is maneuvering through a social life while following these concepts. There is so much interplay & a TON of self-discipline that would allow someone to be themselves. This almost defies being social?
I think losing the self in the right moments would be the way to allow for the universe to give you the right path? Idk sweet content man, thank you a lot 🧠
Whenever I tried to be my authentic self people end up disrespecting me
"just be yourself" *me debating with other me about which one should i use for greeting my friend, a handshake or brofist
“Just be yourself” is a bit of an experience for me cause im trans, being myself is hard, i know who i am im a guy, but what kind? Am i really? Or do i just like being *called* as one? And if i when i am “being myself” i feel left out since, i when i be myself it’s either im annoying or I’m entirely silent,and im scared of what people think of me, i dont want them to fear me, but being me kinda results in that
I really enjoy this channel. You’ve helped me understand so much about myself and other people. I’m thankful.
I don’t dread the term “be yourself” because I’m emotionally complex I don’t think, I dread it cause I think I’m too boring. The only things that really interest me at all are a few niche subjects that I find a lot of joy in, and the only thing that I feel truly motivated by in life is to share my interests with others so they can share in the joy I feel. But most people aren’t really interested in them and/or the subjects don’t really come up all too much in normal everyday life. So I find that I spend most of my social life going through the motions of conversation and interaction that I don’t find meaningful at all, just to get through it so I can be by myself and do the things I actually like again. Does anyone else feel like this?
Yeah.When i want to discus a subject that i like,i am told "be yourself",just to shut up because i don't want you to be like that
When I was a teen, back in the 1980s, I got the notion that the teenage years are a time to learn about oneself, who we are and, sometimes unfortunately, who we are not. As I got older, I started to suspect that most people don't do this, or maybe they do it a bit in college, if they get to college. A lot of people seem to live on auto pilot, chasing after material thigs others have told them they want. The true 'rat race' in my very humble opinion. I also think we are all subject to society's influences as well as commercial marketing. None of us could ever become a fulile bustule of pworging mystacial, because that does not exist in our reality. It's not a choice we can make or a thing we can want. It's amusing to me that so many people who advise us to "Be Yourself" will also ask us, "Why are you like that?!?" when we follow their 'advice' ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I find it helps to have a sense of humor and not to take myself, or anyone else, too seriously
I have always been myself. That's the terrifying part. being a immovable object. while chaos just moves right on by.
Every time someone tells me to “be myself”,all I hear is that they want me to be a psychotic,troubled person with no sense of self preservation. I’m actively going out of my way to NOT be myself,and you’re basically trying to enable me
uh, I wouldn't go that far, dude. maybe SOME people who say that actually want to help but don't know how. it's a standard response, honestly. It's just something you say and THINK it has a nice meaning to it, ya know?
ok im begging you to drop this in essay format. i want to carry this around.
That's why I like that raja/ashtanga yoga differentiates between purusa and citta (ahamkara especially). It dispenses with much of this
Thank you, you have reminded me of who I am. Who I really am, I struggle remembering it, because it's not something you can expect of others to tell you "Remember who you are", I've only heard/read this sentence when someone unintentionally puts an expectation on you that is not you, but a you that they perceive and know as.
Of course, sometimes, even the people you're closest to, seem to know who you are, because they have been observing you, but even then, they don't know you, the way you know yourself, because they themselves are struggling with knowing who they are.
Thank you for reminding me. 😊
I have this shitty thing where as soon as I lose my main interest, being a friendgroup, specific topic or hobby, I get really depressed.
The more things I surround myself with, the less down I feel. The more down I feel, the harder it is to surround myself with distractions.
Kinda funny that this whole internal crisis is a weird evolution glitch lmao
Right 🙂😃?!
The balance between self examination and self obsession is tricky to manage. Although, growing up gay in the late 70's and early 80, I was forced into a lot of introspection that others didn't need to engage with just to survive, I would say that the process of knowing or at least accepting the self is a much longer term process and the demands of a busy life leave little time for what the community at large sees as self indulgence. As retirement approached and widowhood was thrust upon me, wave after wave of self realization came over me. Growth is a lifelong thing if we let it be and I am glad I allowed this process to continue into old age because it has helped me to deal with all manner of social dynamics with confidence, whether outcomes were positive or negative instead of socially normative responses that do not fit. I am, at heart a cynic.
*sigh* another damn Sisyphus video.
I couldn’t be happier
Thank you so freaking much for this! I cant properly explain how much I needed this, probably gonna watch this a bunch of times!
being yourself in a lot of ways is being the version of yourself that has been slowly stretched and transformed like play-doe by the suffering and negative situations you have experienced and endured throughout your life. being the version of yourself you believe you can be is much easier in my experience the hardest part is being easy on yourself when you make mistakes
watching this high is paradise bro
This has to be one of the best videos i have ever watched on TH-cam! And the animations are fantastic!
I have been wondering how to word this for a conversation with my friends. "Self enlightenment" As external validation is only really a social construct based off of drama, idealism, and other ideologies. I believe that for some people true self expression or self enlightenment, comes from time and learning to find validation internally. As you are the only person in your head at the end of the day, at least you can use the resources around you to help yourself and others.
"Life sucks and then you die; you might as well make the best of it"
“Truth is not what you want it to be; It is what it is and you must bend to its power or live a lie.”
When people say this,I think they're saying not to be fake...not to put on an act, to please others.
The problem is, if they don't like how you really are, they tell you to change yourself.
"Be yourself" in practice means "be yourself, unless you aren't genuinely outgoing, gregarious, positive, and extroverted.... in which case you should seem to be those things."
"Just be yourself!" Yeah, nice advice humanity, the problem is, if i will be myself in this world - i would die
I really enjoy listening to these over lunch
You'll always be yourself no matter what
You are what your spirit is. You are not physical. You are spirit inhabiting a physical body to experince this physical reality. When you "die", you shed your physical body and continue living as spirit with the same personality and issues you had seconds before you "died". You can reincarnate into any lifeform on any planet. You are spirit with or without a physical body at any given time. You are spirit. You never die.
Glad your advertised! You deserve to be paid for this and you do it in an almost perfect intermission form. Makes me happy to see an ad ngl
When people say that they are referencing the narrative and identity of you that they have in their own head. You can try to suss out what that is, and why they want you to be it, but it has no promise of a genuine connection to who or what you actually are or want to be.
Also, thanks for the good music suggestions 🙏
I feel like the best example of me not being myself is that there are many people who know different versions of me. In reality I feel like all those personas should show in every expression of myself
Great vid!
'Be yourself'
There are so much behind this sentence...
I was extremely revolted with life as I was a teen because of depression. I would act without having others into consideration. I lost my girlfriend and looking back I was the worst possible person for her while she was the best person I could ever asked for. The regret will never leave and I will always be trying to make myself a better person without ever accomplishing happiness doing so
This question has always bothered me, because how much agency do you really have to “be yourself?”
It’s been demonstrated countless times that people are a product of their upbringing. Those who grow up in abusive households tend to be abusers themselves, while people who grow up under narcissistic parents tend to be narcissists. It seems our identity is owed extensively to the environment that surrounds our development. And sure, perhaps people can force themselves to change for the better, but isn’t this just conforming to what society wants, too? What if your identity is one that other people despise? Should you even try to “be yourself?” Just a thought.
You're forgetting that our upbringing is only 50% of who we are.
The rest is genetics.
I feel seen.
I've been trying to do this stuff for a while now and a friend recommended this video to me.
I also feel less alone knowing that this isn't just something I'm going through, especially when so many people are interested in this very well-made video.
Thank you.
Though I do appreciate authenticity, I also have to say that I'm personally more interested in trying to be the best version of myself. Instead of the average habit follower version of myself. I don't think I'm being 'authentic' when I'm being predictable, but I feel authentic when my behaviours are aligned with my values and goals, which I just realized was the topic of the video. However being yourself seems to imply that you have to be comfortable with your actions or words, whereas being the best version of yourself necessarily requires some kind of struggle because nobody is really perfect.
I'm also in peace with transforming my identity as convenient (for my values and goals) as it makes me more flexible and allows me to grow and be better, which necessarily require to change myself somehow. Identity (sometimes) is overrated.
My personal recommendation would be: 1 Have clear values (or figure them out) 2 Design goals aligned with your values and 3 adjust the way you are following first your values and then your goals.
"Man is what he wills himself to be" - Jean Paul Sartre
“Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is" - Albert Camus
Still no answer, the search goes on.
Thanks for citing the papers you looked at! Which one mentions that personality changes over time because that's really cool
There's a great song by german duo BRUCKNER called ''Wer wir sind'' talking about how everyone tells you to just be yourself, but everybody means someone else with that statement.
I have no idea what I'd say if someone asked me to describe who i am
Same. Or at least I wouldn't be honest with them. I think that nearly every aspect of "me" is performative, every interest, hobby or routine simply employed to be perceived better with the goal being admiration. The only things I enjoy that aren't related to that are getting off sexually, eating, the appearance of the world around me, certain smells, certain sounds. All sensory, anything related to personality is a stressor for me.
Obviously I can't tell anyone in my real life much of this.
Only writing this all out here because it isn't something I've really thought out so simply before, documenting it and hoping that someone gives attention for it. Ha ha ha, so meta.
I’m glad that I’m finally starting to be able to understand your videos and apply them to my life, thanks for all the help.
You getting into motives reminded me my old view on life I had for several years in my early 20s. I wanted to learn everything I could possibly learn and live a long time to further that. That was my one true core belief and path I had that kept me pointing north and gave me infinite things to do. The world shutting down for 3 years I think messed that up. I had even more time to learn more and more things. But, the analysis paralysis likely caused me to be overwhelmed that later led to me trying to "figure out my life" while completely forgetting that I simply love learning. There's a study that shows children who dabble in a lot of different sports from childhood to their young adulthood had a significantly higher chance of going pro than children who stuck with one sport in the beginning. I didn't know that in my early 20s but now that'll be a constant reminder to continue to explore without worrying about sticking with something yet. My time will come and so will yours. I hated when people said this to me the past 3 years but remembering that my core belief erases the need to find purpose. For now, learning is my purpose.
WOW,
what a great wideo, not regurgitated content but rly some new words, and concepts that non psych majors can get into ! I am greatful
i always laugh a little when your videos get recommended to me, because whatever topic the video is about 95% of the time is something that i need help with lmao.
i know you don't know me, but thank you for putting in the effort to make these videos- I really appreciate it 💙
- a weird creature of a 14 year old
I’m only myself when I’m alone, around others, I put on a different face to have people not worry about me or anything.
Even when I fake it, I am still myself. Inevitably, irreducibly, without recourse.
I've been the person this video describes. I remember it very well. It was the best time of my life. But I made some choices that took me in the opposite direction. Today I am fighting to come back to what was, the truth of me, and I will succeed.
Watching yourself is always simultaneously a complete mindfuck and extremely insightful. Thanks for these videos!
For some people being genuine is hard . They have little confidences in their personality .
Its easy for me to be genuine because i have had little to hide from. But, if you hide . How can you be helped ? Take the mask off . Its hard , but when you do , you will discover the genuine lovely person that is you. Dont listen to friends or crap . This video could be crap for some . Lusten to your heart . Your own spirit is your best instructor.
Be myself and probably end up in jail. I do want to be constrained by life's unwritten rules. I dont want to work for anybody, i dont want anybody working for me, they can do whatever they want. I dont want anything to do with money, but i don't want to end up on the streets. I dont want superiors, and i want to be superior to no one. There is no place on this planet for me. This made me very sad and i tried to kms 12 years ago as a teen. From that day, i learned that all life is pain, with small flashes of bright days that grow more distant from the last. It didnt really matter if i did kill myself or not that day, life would have continued the same. Theres a lot of people on this planet, only a few strong ones get to have their day, and only a handful of rich ones get to enjoy all of it. As for the rest of us, we're meant to work, and to wonder what's the right path. To work and have a house and family? To break the cycle and take what you want without care for repercussion? I firmly believe many people were born without a chance. A sad revelation in this hellscape we call a planet. Thanks for reading, have a good day.
I'm in the same position. I just enjoy the things i enjoy and dont take them for granted.
I needed this
Dude no! Being myself has hurt so many people. 1st day of therapy on the 24th 🎉
My definition of "being yourself", is by being honest towards yourself as that will promote honesty to others. It is not a long and complex definition, it is like saying "just go with it", as in you work with what you are capable with. If you're honest, this shouldn't be no issue to understand and what to do, the complications occur when you set out to make friends or fit in a certain crowd where most of them are a like and you need to make adjustments to be accepted or else you might end up like the neglected odd on out (that also varies on the people). This socialwebpopculture has forever ruined generations after generations making them think and act a certain type of way which is passed off as "cool". I don't want to get technical because that would end up like a small book on the comment section, because there are so many types of personalities but to my very eyes I only see the same 3-4 types. The push to be artificial just to fit in with a certain crowd...
be yourself implies free will, because if there is no free will you are always yourself uncontrollably including if you are being disingenuous or distant