Top 5 avoidant red flags
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ต.ค. 2024
- #avoidantattachment #attachmentstyle #heartbroken #relationshipcoach #attachment #avoidant #breakup #discard #dating #discarded #redflags #redflag #dismissiveavoidant #dismissiveavoidantattachment #fearfulavoidant #fearfulavoidantattachment #insecureattachment #relationship #relationshipcoach #divorce #emotionallyunavailable
Hearing this AS an avoidant person … it’s actually explaining so much about myself. I was so confused for so long as to why I feel the NEED to runaway from love or friendship in the middle of its good developing phase.
I pray God please have mercy on those who are hurt in their past who became these avoidant themselves and to help us all to find peace in loving and being loved.
Ohhh but yeah my relationship history is filled with long term relationships where idk maybe the other person tolerated my erratic ups and downs with their grace and care.
So mmmm some avoidants may still have a good relationship “portfolio” on the surface soooo look out?? 😂
Your videos have helped me understand my situation so much. Thank you! Im truly grateful. 6 months of dating. The first few months seemed so amazing. Long nights of talking for hours and falling asleep in eachothers arms, fun and engaging dates where we barely looked at our phones, talking on the phone for hours, i met her daughter and parents and they loved me. I let her into my heart. Then the fault finding started and questioning every aspect of us. Saying she felt "trapped".She starting going out to bars on nights i couldn't go. Said she was going because none of her friends would go and she needed to socialize, meet new friends, and blow off steam. She'd get constantly hit on by men. She claimed she didnt want it and was just being friendly.Turned out she was allowing them to pursue her and she was flirting back for the attention/validation. I decided to trust her when i didnt know this. It turned into her getting drunk one night and intentionally cheating on me. I wasnt perfect but i gave her so much love, trust, kindness, and patience and she threw it all away. Its been a month since the break up and im in so much pain. These videos are easing it a bit. Thank you again.
Very, very accurate, unbelievable.
I just went through all 6 of these with the last relationship I had. Your explanations were all appropriate. The Love Bombing. Shared connection. Hot and cold! Blamed all his ex’s for being Crazy! Distancing and saying he would cause me trouble. Hyper Independence! Ghosted me! Etc.
“ big big, big red flag” No accountability, no reflection, they were all crazy. Yep, check that box actually check them all wish I would’ve known before. I would’ve got out of there and ran.
Now that I am doing EYe movement therapy I can now tap into self reflection and taking accountability for my part in all failed short term relationships.. (3 to 8 months ) I couldn’t do that before this type of therapy. I had an 8 year and 4 year long term relationship with other emotionally unavailable men because it felt safe.with therapy I am excited to choose differently and show up differently. ❤.i want fulfilling healthy relationships.
I'm an FA and many of these apply. One way we're different than DAs though IMO is that we will have the deep conversations and quality time until we get spooked. We're absolutely more mistrustful and have greater extremes of hot and cold though.
I have yet to meet a DA who doesn't lead with "I'm hyperindependent" (either spoken or done through actions).
7. Passive Aggressive behavior.
That's narcissistic trait often goes in pairs with an avoidant attachment style but many avoidants aren't narcissistic
@YvetteInnerGrowth all avoidants have strong narcissistic traits though. Avoidants do this. Very passive aggressive. Especially when we are holding them accountable.
Oh yeah. A ton of it. And they will blame that on everything, but themselfes.
@@Alixir1228Had it with my Ex. She projected everything on me. She felt unlovable. So she tried to make me feel this way. Disgusting.
PLEASE REMEMBER THIS ! There are no accidental meetings ... Every person we meet is a lesson to learn, or testing for ourselves or a gift from God. We will all meet the right person someday.
i hope you’re right
Indeed. Everyone you meet is a teacher to you. This is how I started to see ppl around me. It helps to relax.
This is faulty thinking. My loving God would not bring someone into my life that would inevitably hurt me just to test me or teach me a lesson. I’m sick and tired of people blaming God for everything that goes wrong in our lives. The truth is,we meet people and sometimes we learn too late,or we overlook obvious signs that they are not right for us. This has nothing to do with God. We all have choices to make and sometimes we make wrong choices we need to accept that and try hard not to repeat that same mistake. [ Read James.1:13,14 & 1John.4:8 ]
Nothing is accidentally... There are too many avoidants today... It is hard to avoid them😂😂😂😂
My ex-gf would immediately say "sorry" when she did something to hurt me. But never elaborate beyond that. So that was her way of avoiding accountability. A meaningless 1 word apology with no display of remorse or understanding of what she did wrong/
at least u got an apology, mine just blame everyrthing to me and i never even heard of the word sorry coming our from her mouth.
Yup, my FA ex of 3 years would only say sorry after I basically forced the issue. But never would elaborate or change her behavior. Afterwards she wouldn't even let me dicuss what happened. Nothing was ever repaired because she refused to communicate even when I tried to be as therapeutic and loving as possible. So I grew resentful over time and then she dumped me almost 4 months ago and blamed me for not putting enough effort in the relationship. How ironic
At least you got that. I never got sorry except one time in five years.
Yes I realized this is just another form of gaslighting
another well presented informative video. thank you
It’s crazy a walking contradiction
If you've survived a relationship with these people, you are truly a rock star. 🩷
🫡
Love bombing! This guy was a long distance relationship. Met him when he was working in my state he drove out here 1200 miles to see me and love all the heck out of me in my house, he took me out he told me how muchhe ❤ me. I wondered, I told him to slow down. This was too much it was making me feel like I owed him something. They fakes a fight, and goes back to the state only to repeat the process the next time beware of the love bombing phase.!!
Watched this and started thinking maybe I show a few according to my ex. Then I realise break up out of the blue. asked back to a slow long fade breadcrumbs lies to be then cheated on and monkey branched from. Then to it’s all my fault I was abusive. After 7 years together etc been a long journey to recovery thanks for all the help