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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ต.ค. 2024
- It is very common for anxiously attached trauma survivors to pick the wrong people in their lives. We often pick people who can be emotionally unavailable, are takers, narcissists, entitled individuals and feel not good enough. Worse, we start feeling that nobody cares about us, that if we dropped dead tomorrow that no one would be there for us. We often assume that if we were worthy, people would stay with us.
However, this is not actually the issue. The issue is that, due to our childhood trauma, we pick people who make us feel not good enough. If we continue to surround ourselves with individuals who are not good for us then it depletes us and makes us incredibly resentful.
We often pick the people who may look cool, collected, beautiful, debonair, accomplished without considering whether these people are deeply connected with themselves and can reciprocate.
We have to be very careful that we stop choosing people who don’t have the capacity to reciprocate and love properly otherwise we end up becoming retraumatised.
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Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored video. All opinions expressed are wholly my own.
We're addicted to the initial lovebombing period which will never come back. The withdrawal is what gives the pain. Ppl who meet avoidants typically meet narcissists as well. The similarity is the idealization phase in the beginning.
Wish my father had not dropped dead before these internet resources were available. . I watched my father, a very successful, tall, kind, good looking, loyal man, for some incomprehensible reason stay married to my mother who turned him into a breadcrumb-starved, shut-down, doormat. And then he dropped dead. That's what you are "missing out" on. How my father could be such a catch and so successful career wise yet be a pathetic doormat at home I'll never know. When he died, I cleaned out his closets. He acted calm aka shut down most of the time. but he had this habit when stressed with my mom's endless stream of criticism and contemptuous behaviour - he would sort of scratch a part on his chest like a self soothing thing. He had dozens of button down shirts. every. single. one. had these claw-marks on them.
Very accurate positioning-thank you very much!
Thank you :)
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